Friday, December 7, 2018

Pulmonary ePistle


Famous First Words: The People of Connecticut acknowledging with gratitude... The Constitution of the State of Connecticut
This is the anniversary of Bruce's heart transplant: Waldo had a heart attack but the ambulance couldn't find him.
..........Everybody wants to touch someone.........Eagles …..Heartache Tonight
"If you ever want to reach a place of peace and contentment in your life you will need to at least be willing to forgive." --Olivia Hope
It is a cold (19°F) Friday morning. A light breeze stirs the empty willow branches but is hardly noticed by the rest of the world. The sky is streaked with new and old jet trails and what may be a few wispy clouds; but the rising sun will have plenty of clear skies to shine through. Puck is very vocal this morning, discussing the day with anything that moves and a few things that don't. Busyness abounds, children off to school, grown-ups off to work, doors slamming and motors running. Ah, but when we return indoors there is feel of warmth and the smell of brewing coffee and sight of Christmas tree lights. So with a cup of sweetened and creamed decaf at hand and you at the other end of my computer, a lovely morning evolves into really great time.
Hope your weekend fills your heart with joy, ePistliers.
I used to tell Bruce I loved him with all my butt – because my butt is way bigger than my heart.
..........Though I wanted to be brave it never helped.........Bonnie Raitt …..Wounded Heart
Opening Advice of the Week: Always Jingle all the way; nobody likes a half-assed jingler. --Submitted by ma of va
Trivia Questions: Happy Cotton Candy Day!
^ Know what they call cotton candy in England?
^^ How about in Australia?
^^^ Do you remember the name of the dentist(s) who invented it?
^^^^ How is the candy made?
^^^^^ What is the interesting spin that the Chinese have put on cotton candy?
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Right now chocolate is good for you and Romaine lettuce can kill you: I've been training my whole life for this.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Librarian life expectancy decreases 3 days for every program that no one attends. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Yes, Mrs Smith, we're opening him now. Stand by and I will give you a detailed description of what we find inside your husband...uh...hello...?
..........I don't want to change.........Eric Clapton …..I've Got a Rock n Roll Heart
Moonbeam: Early-in-life problems can be the yeast that makes you rise into bread!” --Helen Gurley Brown
Something to Not Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: ЗдpabctbyЙte (Zdrastvujte) - Russian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Highway Sign: Drivers ignoring winter conditions may be subject to natural selection.
Week of the Week: Recipe Greetings For The Holidays Week (12/2-8) --I used to know a guy who absolutely loved hollandaise sauce. He would buy the spiciest brand he could find and would put it on just about everything. Well it turned out that because he used the spicy sauce so much, it started to wear down a hole on the roof of his mouth. He went to a doctor and asked what he could do about it. The doctor looks at the damage and determines that the man will need a metal plate placed at the roof of his mouth. The man is relieved but can't help asking the doctor if he will still be able to enjoy his hollandaise sauce. The doctor reassures the man that his new plate will be made of chrome. The man was curious, so he asked if chrome was the best choice. The doctor responded with "Oh don't worry, there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."
You must be a coronary artery, because we you've wrapped yourself around my heart.
..........You know you've got it if it makes you feel good.........Janis Joplin …..Piece of My Heart
^ What Americans call cotton candy is called “candyfloss” in the UK and India.
Almanac: It is Friday, December 7, 2018. The moon is new tonight and is in Libra. It is Earmuff Day aka Chester Greenwood Day, National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day, International Civil Aviation Day, National Cotton Candy Day, and Skywarn Recognition Day. In Cuba it is Day of National Mourning and the Ivory Coast celebrates National Day (1960).
Among those born on this day were Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots (1542), Giovanni Bernini (1598), Madame Tussaud (Marie Grosholtz, 1761), Louis Prima (1912), Eli Wallach (1915), Helen Gurley Brown (1917), Ted Knight (1923), Noam Chomsky (1928), Harry Chapin (1942), Tom Waits (1949), and Larry Bird (1956).
On December first the Mayan inscription begins (36 BCE), the Theatre Royal opened (London, 1783), Delaware ratified the constitution (1787), Edison demonstrated the gramophone (1877), the bust of Queen Nefertete was found (1912), the gas refrigerator was patented (1926), the jet stream was discovered (1934), the microwave oven was patented (1945), Chiang Kai-shek fled China (1949), Ben-Gureon retired (1953), The Ivory Coast claimed independence (1960), M. Dodd returned a library book checked out in 1823 (1968), Makarios returned to Cyprus (1975), Spain joined NATO (1981), and the Rangers signed free-agent Nolan Ryan (1988).
Night Sky, 12/7: Neptune very close to Mars. This evening, as seen from North America, Neptune appears only 1/4° from Mars — which is 1400 times brighter! Look for Neptune with your scope to Mars's east-northeast, then use high power to check that it's non-stellar. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max and mom with Uncle David

This Week: Saturday, December 8 – Day of the Horse & National Day of Lard
Sunday, December 9 – International Anti-corruption Day &World Choral Day
Night Sky, 12/9: Comet Wirtanen may or may not come within binocular, or even small-telescope, range as it passes unusually close by Earth for the next couple weeks. Start trying now while the evening sky is still moonless and dark! See Comet 46P/Wirtanen Approaches Earth, but as Joe Rao warns there, keep your expectations low.
Monday, December 10 – Dewey Decimal Day & Green Monday & Human Rights Day
Tuesday, December 11 – International Mountain Day & Kaleidoscope Day & UNICEF Birthday
Night Sky, 12/11: Orion is coming into good view low in the east after dinnertime now. And that means Gemini is also coming up to its left (for the world's mid-northern latitudes). The head stars of the Gemini twins, Castor and Pollux, are at the left end of the Gemini constellation — one over the other, with Castor on top
Wednesday, December 12 – National Ding-a-Ling Day & National Lost Day & Poinsettia Day
Thursday, December 13 – Pick A Pathologist Pal Day
Night Sky, 12/13: The Geminids are considered one of the best meteor showers every year because the individual meteors are bright, and they come fast and furious: This year, there will be more than 1 per minute, reaching 100 meteors per hour. Under light-polluted skies, fewer meteors will be visible.
Your cardiac surgery was a success. You still have a song in your heart, but we had to remove two verses and one refrain from the chorus.
..........Don't keep on looking that same old way........Rolling Stones …..Heart of Stone
^^ What Americans call cotton candy is called “fairy floss” in Australia and Finland, “papa’s beard” (barbe à papa) in France, and “old ladies’ hair” in Greece.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sears is closing 505 stores in 2019 putting 14 cashiers out of work.
Moonbeam: Whatever you feel you look nice in is what you probably ought to be wearing, provided it isn’t slashed to the navel or dripping with lace.” --Helen Gurley Brown
Top Ten Late Night Snacks: Top Ten Lessons We've Learned From The Election
10. Haven't heard "oral" on CNN this much since the whole Lewinsky thing
9. Voters prefer guy who lies about drinking to guy who lies about fundraising
8. If you keep saying, "I'm the President," eventually people start to believe you
7. In Florida, it's possible to go directly from cocktail waitress to Secretary of State
6. Gone are the good old days when politicians really knew how to rig an election
5. It's been a lot of trouble for two guys no one really liked in the first place
4. You can win any state if you work hard enough -- and your brother's governor
3. Warren Christopher is one sexy sum-bitch
2. If you want Gore for President, don't check the box for Buchanan
1. We'll be spared all of this in 4 years when Hillary waxes W's ass
Not So Late Night Snacks: Trump Dump Quiz: true or false Trump told the crowd people say he looks like Elvis? When asked what he was thankful for, Trump said himself? At a rally in Biloxi, MS Trump entered from a fake chimney in the manner of Santa Claus? (All True) --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me
Love is benevolent and harmonious - a haven of peace. --Simon May
Your new pacemaker comes with Pandora so you can always have a song in your heart.
..........There in the middle of the madness.........Carly Simon …..From the Heart
^^^ The first dentist was Dr. William Morrison of Nashville. In 1897 he and candy maker John C. Wharton invented a device that melted sugar and blew it through a fine screen to create “Fairy Floss.” He introduced it at the 1904 St. Louis World’s Fair, and sold 68,000 boxes for 25¢ each ($6.75 in today’s money). Another dentist, Dr. Josef Lascaux of New Orleans, improved the design in 1921 and trademarked the name “Cotton Candy.”
Worthless Fact of the Week: Upon his defeat, Chiang fled with the remnants of his Nationalist government to Taiwan, which had been turned over to the Nationalist government after the defeat of Japan according to terms agreed upon in Cairo in 1943.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dogs are God's way of apologizing for your relatives. --Submitted by mja of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Kith – Old English (cýđđ) – knowledge or information (related to couth). close friends http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-kit1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Cure Mange. While spraying a dog with WD-40 gets rid of parasitic mites, according to USA Today, the WD-40 Company, feeling that the potential misuse of the product is too great, refuses to condone using it to cure mange on animals. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wd40.html
I have the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
...........You make it just a little too hard.........Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers …..Change of Heart
^^^^ Modern cotton candy machines melt the sugar and spin it at thousands of revolutions per minute, using centrifugal force to shoot the molten liquid through tiny holes. When it hits the air, it immediately hardens into miles of fine threads.
Top Ten Date of the Week: December 11, 2000
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We love Edgar Allan Poe because he portrays universal human emotions like loss, grief, unrequited love, burying your enemy alive in the cellar, and being scared out of your mind by a bird. --Submitted by ma of va
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Weekend of Wizardry (12/6-9, Tacoma, WA) Still waiting for your owl to arrive? Us too! https://www.weekendofwizardry.com/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: 6th International Conference on Environment Pollution and Prevention (ICEPP – 12/6-8, Brisbane, Australia). In the coming decades,the world Environmental Systems will face huge challenges. http://www.icepp.org/
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck paying attention in the case of the Focused Formosan.
That's the first time I did open heart surgery and found cupid's arrow stuck in it.
..........After the rush when you come back down.........Joni Mitchell …..Woman of Heart & Mind
^^^^^ Street vendors in China sell cotton candy artwork. They create edible masterpieces that resemble flowers and animals, using nothing but cotton candy. Check it out
Month of the Week: December is Bingo Birthday Month --I don't always cheat at Bingo, but when I do, I win. Is that your bra size or you Bingo card number.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The fastest land mammal is a toddler who's been asked “what's in your mouth?”
Grammar Joke of the Week:

Today's Peace of History, December 7, 1941: Capt. Annie Fox receives the first Purple Heart awarded to a woman for her service while under attack at Pearl Harbor.
Hmmm … no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.
..........Acting out a whim is only good.........Prince …..Condition of the Heart
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle December 7, 2018, Pulmonary ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Good-hearted peace and laughs. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Final Piece of Advice of the Week: Trust me on this one. It doesn't matter how cold you get, never wear a ski mask into a bank. I know that now.
Moonbeam: Go to college to get an education, to learn how to think, to grow up, but you have to work in a job to learn anything and move to a better one.” --Helen Gurley Brown
Cost of War:
As of 12/6/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,878,750,383,946.
As of 11/29/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,876,771,685,464.
As of 12/6/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $865,742,906,594.
As of 11/29/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $864,398,158,395.
As of 12/6/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $638,019,572,171.
As of 11/29/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $636,329,011,024.
As of 12/6/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $300,640,790,765.
As of 11/29/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $300,256,578,153.
As of 12/6/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,683,154,507,628.
As of 11/29/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,677,756,079,251.
I believe that as soon as people want peace in the world they can have it. The trouble is they are not aware they can get it. --John Lennon
..........Don't you let it slip through..........Joan Jett & the Blackhearts …..Heartbeat
My heart has survived 16 boyfriends, 7 fiancees, and 4 ex-husbands. You think my heart is afraid of a little cheeseburger?
Famous Last Words: its promulgation by the President of the Republic. The Constitution of the Republic of Côte d'Ivoire
May Peace pump your blood
And Joy refresh it
prairie mama
christine


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