Famous
First Words: Hi, ya, Tony -- Saturday Night Fever
Today
is The Day of the Horse. Race horses eat fast food. / Horses are
very democratic. Their whole language is set up for yay or neigh.
..........Poured
the goldfish bowl into daddy's hat.........Spike Jones …..Angel In
The Christmas Play
Christmas
is joy, religious joy, an inner joy of light and peace. --Pope
Francis
It
is a cold Friday morning. The 35°F temperature is chilly but the 11
mph wind is down right bitter. Strips of white and gray all of which
look like rain streak the sky. Bare willow branches whip about
wildly and then hang limp for a moment before taking off again. A
neighborhood murder of crows passes overhead cawing and flying and
landing and cawing on their way to breakfast. Puck barks at the
child racing to the car and at a mother walking her charges to
school. I repeat the long standing but rarely followed rule that
you're not allowed to bark at people in their own driveways, to no
avail. The new born sun is trying to burn away some cloud; there are
flashes of not so dim. Good luck. We return home to quiet and
warmth and the smell of brewing coffee. Normality. I spend several
seconds breathing in the steam, warming my nose and face, before
taking that first delicious sip a sweetened decaf. And now, I get to
write to you. Great morning afterall.
Hope
your weekend is five gaited, ePistliers.
What
do yo call a horse that has just given birth? Exfoaliated. / To get
a really great mane look, show horses use Neighbelline.
..........It
would be thrilling, if you were willing.........Spike Jones
…..Temptation
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday to the Table Tennis Tournament !
^
In what year, more or less, did Ping Pong become an Olympic sport?
^^
What constitutes game end in Ping Pong?
^^^
Any idea what the diameter of a ping pong ball is?
^^^^
From what part of the world does ping pong come?
^^^^^
Know any other names for the game besides ping pong and table tennis?
Funniest
Thing I Read of the Week: We're
expecting such a cold winter, the squirrels are collecting more nuts
than usual. So far, 3 of my relatives have disappeared. --Submitted
by mja of ks
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
67%
of library fax machines are older than the youngest staff member.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
That
horse was so lonely he asked Santa to bring him a child. / How do you
know that your horse has been in the fridge? The carrots are gone and
there's a hoof print in the oat bran.
..........You
will be our favorite nut.........Spike Jones …..Oh! By Jingo
Moonbeam:
Moral cowardice that keeps us from speaking our minds is as dangerous
to this country as irresponsible talk. --Margaret Chase Smith
Something
to Not Think About of the Week:
Big
Hello: Cлaba
иcycy Xpиcty (Slava Ysusu Chrystu) - Rusyn
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Existing is exhausting. --Submitted by rmar of ks
Week
of the Week: Christmas Bird Count Begins
(12/14-1/5) –There's a big controversy about whether or not Audubon
should include citizenship in this year's bird count.
A
bartender walked into a stable. A Clydesdale shouted, “Why the
wrong place?” / A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says,
“Hay, the usual?”
..........Is
there anyone finer in the state of Carolina.........Spike Jones
…..Dinah
^
Table Tennis was introduced at the 1988 Summer
Olympics in Seoul, South Korea, where singles and doubles tournaments
were held for both genders. The doubles events were dropped from the
2008 Summer Olympics program and replaced by team events.
Almanac:
It is Friday, December 14, 2018. The moon will be first quarter
tomorrow and is in Aquarius. It is National
Bouillabaisse Day, Day of the Horse, International Shareware Day, and
Monkey Day. Halcyon
Days
begin (14-29th i.e. 7 days before and after solstice)
Among
those born on this day were Nostradamus (1503), Margaret Chase Smith
(1897), Spike Jones (1911), Dan Dailey (1914), Shirley Jackson
(1919), Patty Duke (1946), and Spider Tracy (1958).
On
December fourteenth the first artificial pearl was manufactured
(1656), Ohio authorized the building of the first state road (1793),
Alabama was admitted to the union (22nd State, 1819), the world's
first table tennis tournament was held (1901), Iraq gained
independence (1927), the first streamlined locomotive ran (1934), the
UN decided to settle in NYC (1946), the Dodgers signed Sandy Koufax
(1953), DNA was created in a test tube (1967), Saturday
Night Fever
premiered (1977), and Cosell retired from Monday Night Football
(1984).
Night
Sky, 12/14: In
early evening, Mars shines above the Moon. Mars is about twice as big
as the Moon in physical diameter, but it's currently 425 times
farther away. Look far below them for Fomalhaut. At a distance of 25
light-years, Fomalhaut is 1.4 million times farther away than Mars.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Ready for basketball season to begin.
This
Week: Saturday, December 15 –
Bill of Rights Day & National Cupcake Day & International Tea
Day
Sunday,
December 16 – National Chocolate-covered Anything Day
Night
Sky, 12/16:
The
Summer Triangle is sinking lower in the west, and Altair is the first
of its stars to go (for mid-northern observers). Start by spotting
bright, zero-magnitude Vega in the northwest right after dark. The
brightest star above Vega is Deneb. Altair, the Triangle's third
star, is farther to Vega's left or lower left. How late into the
night, and into the advancing season, can you keep Altair in view?
Monday,
December 17 – Wright Brothers Day & Clean Air Day
Tuesday,
December 18 – Answer the Telephone Like Buddy The Elf Day
Night
Sky, 12/18:
Orion
comes into good view low in the east after dinnertime now. That means
Gemini is also coming up to its left (for the world's mid-northern
latitudes). The head stars of the Gemini twins, Castor and Pollux,
are at the left end of the Gemini constellation — one over the
other, with Castor on top.
Wednesday,
December 19 – Birthday of Bernice Pauahi Bishop, princess –
observed in Hawaii
Thursday,
December 20 – Games Day & Free Shipping Day &
International Human Solidarity Day
Night
Sky, 12/20:
Comet
46P/Wirtanen making its closest and brightest approach to Earth for
years, a mere 11 million kilometres away.
I'm
as healthy as a horse – with diabetes. / How to draw a horse: 1)
draw a unicorn 2) Erase the horn
..........And
the buzzards stay up in the stratosphere.........Spike Jones …..Big
Bad Bill
^^
The first ping pong player to score eleven points wins; but a victory
must be by at least 2 points.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What are you?
A harp. Your costume's too small to be a harp. Are
you calling me a lyre?
Moonbeam:
Life Among the Savages is a
disrespectful memoir of my children. --Shirley Jackson
Top
Ten Late Night Snacks: Top Ten Surprises in Bob Woodward's New
Book
10
Bush financed the war by selling White House china on eBay
9
Instead of pursing Al-Qaeda, CIA agents originally pursed Al Pacino
8
President's military strategy based on reruns of “F Troop”
7
Bush's plan: To fix this mess by the end of his third term
6
Says both Bush and Clinton could have done more to prevent the new
Kevin Costner movie.
5
Frequent use of the word “Brangelina”
4
The nude fold-out of Donald Rumsfeld
3
Iraq insurgency began when local affiliates started broadcasting
“Yes, Dear”
2
Book chronicles Condoleezza's futile attempts to get laid
1
Bush lost focus on Iraq because Congressman Mark Foley wouldn't stop
sending him inappropriate e-mails.
Not
So Late Night Snacks: This document came out
and everything interesting was redacted, you could not read it, but
CNN still invited on 10 panelist and they're of over a chyron saying
None of these people know anything and
yet still they speak. --Peter Sagal Wait
Wait Don't Tell Me
Christmas
is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace
and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of
Christmas. --Calvin Coolidge
..........Don't
forget a small moonbeam.........Spike Jones …..Memories Are Made
Of This
^^^
A table tennis ball is 40 mm (1.56 inches) in
diameter and has to be white or orange in color.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: December 14, 1656: A French
rosary-bead maker named Jacquin created the first artificial pearl by
coating the inside of a glass ball with a mixture of ground fish
scales.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Trump
was upset the funeral ceremony was not about him. So was everyone
else. --Submitted by ma of va
Weird
Word of the Week:
Lithophone – any musical instrument made of stone that produces a
ringing sound when hit.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-lit1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Prevent squirrels from climbing into a birdhouses. Spray WD-40 on
the metal pole or wires. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wd40.html
My
horse is very polite. Whenever we come to a jump he stops and lets
me go first. / He works well with others if by others you mean
horses.
...........He's
a highfalutin', scootin', shootin' son-of-a-gun from
Arizona.........Spike Jones …..Ragtime Cowboy Joe
^^^^
Table tennis started in England
as a parlor game; in the 1890s it was played on a dining room table.
Top
Ten Date of the Week: October 1, 2006
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm
going to go lay under the Christmas tree to remind the world that I'm
a gift.
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
Con Alt Delete (12/14-16, Chicago) --C+A+D
gives you the chance to meet a thousand of your fellow friends and
anime fans in celebrating Japanese animation and nerd culture
https://conaltdelete.com/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
7th
ICRTEL 2018 – International Conference on Research in Teaching,
Education & Learning (12/14-15, Mauritius) ~~It didn't have a
tagline, I looked. https://eurasiaresearch.org/conference/mauritius-icrtel-14-15-dec-2018
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck disguised as a doorstop in the case of the
Sleeping Skookum
You
say, you're riding your horse full speed; beside you a giraffe is
keeping pace. You look back a there is a lion nipping at your heels.
Get off the carousel and go home, you're drunk. / Baby Barbara used
to call the carousel the horse tornado.
..........Things
we done before always seem new.........Spike Jones …..That's What
Makes The World Go Round
^^^^^
Ping Pong has been called Flim Flam, Gossima, and Whiff Whaff.
Month
of the Week: December is National Tie
Month – 2 silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie. / Why are
Trump's ties so long? Because they go all the way to Russia.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dear
Santa...Before I explain, how much do you know already?
Grammar
Joke of the Week: A
verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they
conjugate. The noun declines.
Today's
Peace of History, December
14, 1994: After eight years of
negotiations, the United States finally agreed to honor New Zealand's
ban on nuclear weapons in its territory. U.S. Navy ships armed with
nuclear weapons no longer visited New Zealand’s ports.
A
horse walked into a bar and asked for a job application. The
bartender manager was taken aback and said why are you applying here
at a bar? Did you try the rodeo? The horse just shook his head and
said, “Yes, but they didn't need a bartender”.
..........Cause
tonight's our night. Yahoo.........Spike Jones …..Leave The Dishes
In The Sink
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle December 14, 2018, ePistlegait. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
laughs and peace neigh-borhood. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith.
2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam:
“I speak as a Republican I speak as a woman. I
speak as a United States Senator. I speak as an American. I don’t
want to see the Republican Party ride to political victory on the
four horsemen of calumny— fear, ignorance, bigotry and smear.”
--Margaret Chase Smith
Cost
of War:
As
of 12/13/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,880,738,663,277.
As
of 12/6/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,878,750,383,946.
As
of 12/13/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $867,094,297,453.
As
of 12/6/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $865,742,906,594.
As
of 12/13/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $639,718,625,938.
As
of 12/6/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $638,019,572,171.
As
of 12/13/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $301,026,972,964.
As
of 12/6/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $300,640,790,765.
As
of 12/13/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,688,579,309,520.
As
of 12/6/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,683,154,507,628.
Christmas,
my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give,
it's Christmas. --Dale Evans
..........Then
I could wish you Merry Christmas.........Spike Jones …..My Two
Front Teeth
Today
is also Monkey Day. I looked up monkey jokes but they were unable to
distinguish between monkeys and apes. In fact these are the only two
I really thought were funny. When monkeys need to get downstairs,
they side on the bananaster. What do monkeys do for fun? Sit around
a tell people jokes.
Famous
Last Words:
...until the General Assembly shall otherwise direct. --Constitution
of the State of Alabama, 1819
May
your Peace be swift
And
your Joy be unbridled
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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