Famous
First Words: I owe everything to Mr. Baily --It's A Wonderful
Life
Saturnalia
begins on the 17th
of December and runs until the 23rd.
-- Let's keep the
Saturn in Saturnalia. Saturnalia is the Backwards Holiday, slaves
ruled and masters waited with much merriment. Christmas - keeping
the "Christ" in Saturnalia.
Dress
your cat in gay apparel. Fa la la la la la la, Put your life in
mortal peril Fa la la la la la la la
..........Who
could imagine that they would freak out somewhere in
Kansas.........Frank Zappa (Mothers of Invention) .....It Can't
Happen Here
Unless
we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in
Alaska won't make it white. --Bing Crosby
It
is a sunny Friday morning. The 27°F temperature has left the world
with a coating of frost that crackles under foot. There is no wind
and the willow is still. No clouds float across the blue sky and the
rising sun highlights white door frames and fast moving squirrels.
Puck is playing “mighty tracker” this morning with his nose close
to the earth. Well, that and barking, of course. Neighborhood birds
are singing praises to the day and swooping here and there from tree
to housetop to power line. It is a pleasant solstice soundtrack.
Children are gleeful on their way to school; after all, it's not just
Friday it is the Friday before a vacation. So there is much
chattering and laughter which annoys Puck. We return indoors to
warmth and the aroma of brewing coffee and quasi-quiet of humming
furnace fans. Puck laps up a saucer of milk and settles in for an
early morning nap. I sip sweetened decaf and sit down to talk to
you. It's a great day brewing up...
Hope
your weekend relights your fire, dear hearts, Merry Christmas to
all...
Sigh!
My Starbucks cup says Happy Holidays instead of Io
Saturnalia. / Practical Saturnalia joke..attribute every Lord of
the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Trek, Star Wars, or Game of Thrones
reference to the Aeneid.
Johnny
the redshirt freshman ... A
Very Aggie Christmas
..........Blew
your mind on too much Kool-Aid.........Frank Zappa
(Mothers of Invention) .....Son of Suzy Creamcheese
Trivia
Questions: Happy Underdog Day !
^
Any idea when the cartoon Underdog first aired?
^^
And how long did it last?
^^^
Remember who Underdog's secret identity was?
^^^^
For the really old, who voiced Underdog?
^^^^^
What was Underdog's signature statement?
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A
telemarketer called me one day. I interrupted her to ask if there was
any way I could get her to stop calling me. She said, "Yes.
Throw your phone into the ocean." This really happened!
--Submitted by ja of ks
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
Within
the next 24 hours 70% of librarians will be asked if they've ever
seen the movie "Desk Set"
.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Young
Brutus heeded his mother's advice and never ran with Caesars. / Roman
numberals, what are they good IV?
Walla
Walla, Wash , an' Kalamazoo ... Deck
the Halls With Boston Charlie
..........you've
got no corners to hide in.........Frank Zappa (Mothers of Invention)
.....Drums Are Too Noisy
Moonbeam:
People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that
differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute. --Rebecca West
Something
to Think About of the Week:
Big
Hello: биpиϬизt
(biribiet) - Sakha aka Yakut – a Turkic language from the Sakha
Republic in the Russian Federation.
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When
I think about books, I touch my shelf.
Week
of the Week: This is the week of the
National Karaoke Championships (Helsinki) –My friend was kicked out
of Karaoke for singing “Danger Zone” 7 times in a row. They said
he had exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.
II,
IV, VI, VII, Throw that Discus Long and Straight / The Roman Empire
was cut in half with a pair of Caesars.
Christmas
in Australia on a scorching summer day ... Aussie
Jingle Bells
..........Bwah
ha ha...(Cough) Mmph ha ha ha.........Frank Zappa
(Mothers of Invention) .....The Chrome Plated Megaphone of Destiny
^
Underdog is an American animated television series
that debuted October 3, 1964, on the NBC network.
Almanac:
It is Friday, December 21, 2018, Winter Solstice (12/21/18, 4:23 pm
CST). The moon will be full (cold) on Sunday and is in Gemini. It
is Crossword
Puzzle Day, Forefathers Day, Humbug Day, National Homeless Persons'
Remembrance Day, and Phileas Fogg Win A Wager Day. In Nepál
it is Independence Day/Unity Day (1923) and Plymouth MA celebrate
Forefathers' Day (1620) . Because it is Friday it is also World
Underdog Day. Finally, because it is the winter solstice it is World
Peace Day.
Among
those born on this day were Thomas a'Becket (1117), Benjamin Disraeli
(1804), Henrietta Szold (1860), Joseph Stalin (1879), Rebecca West
(1892), Heinrich Boll (1917), Paul Winchell (1922), Phil Donahue
(1935), Frank Zappa (1940), Samuel L. Jackson (1948), Ray Romano
(1957) and Andy Dick (1965).
On
December twenty-first John Jay became the first US Secretary of State
(1784), the first US junior high school was build (1909), the first
crossword puzzle appeared in the New York World (1913), Emma Goldman
was deported to Russia (1919), 20th Century Fox signed Shirley Temple
(1933), Disney premiered Snow White,
his first full-length animated feature (1937), It's
a Wonderful Life
premiered (1946), Lombardi coached his last game (1969), Madagascar
(1975) and Zimbabwe (1979) adopted their constitutions, and the US
invaded Panama to oust Noriega (1989).
Night
Sky, 12/21:
The
Ursids are often neglected due to the fact it peaks just before
Christmas and the rates are much less than the Geminds, which peaks
just a week before the Ursids. Observers will normally see 5-10
Ursids per hour during the late morning hours on the date of maximum
activity.
https://www.space.com/34973-ursid-meteor-shower-guide.html
Max
Picture of the Week:
Max
the Elf. ~~And for the avid Max fan...a video with dog:
https://www.facebook.com/aleena.yh/videos/2197004220557418/
This
Week: Saturday, December 22 –
Be a Lover of Silence Day
Sunday,
December 23 – Festivus & Human Light Celebration
Night
Sky, 12/23:
Full Moon (exact at 12:49 p.m. EST). The Moon, near perigee, is
between the feet of the Castor figure and the dim Club of Orion.
Farther to the left or lower left of the Moon are brighter Castor and
Pollux. Farther right or lower right of the Moon is Orion, with his
belt almost vertical. The full Moon of December rides higher across
the sky in the middle of the night than it does in any other month
(for Northern Hemisphere skywatchers), "giving luster of midday
to objects below."
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Monday,
December 24 – Egg Nog Day
Night
Sky, 12/24:
The Summer Triangle is sinking
lower in the west after dusk, and Altair is the first of its stars to
go (for mid-northern observers). Start by spotting bright,
zero-magnitude Vega in the northwest right after dark. The brightest
star above Vega is Deneb. Altair, the Triangle's third star, is
farther to Vega's left or lower left. How late into the evening, and
into the advancing season, can you keep Altair in view?
Tuesday,
December 25 - Christmas
Wednesday,
December 26 – Boxing Day & National Candy Cane Day &
National Thank-you Note Day
Thursday,
December 27 - Howdy Doody Day & Pledge of Allegiance Day
& Endangered Species Act Day
Little
Medusa was expelled from third grade when her hair ate the classroom
hamster. / The emperor has such a cold. Calpurnia keeps calling
hime Julius Sneezer.
Please
don't buy destructive toys for the kids on holidays ... Raging
Grannies Against War Toys
..........I
need it, I need it, 'cause it feels so fine.........Frank
Zappa (Mothers of Invention) .....Cheap Thrills
^^
The cartoon continued
in syndication until 1973 (although production of new episodes ceased
in 1967), for a run of 124 episodes.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Get your relatives speaking
to one another again by sending a heartfelt Christmas card and a
picture of your family with an extra child nobody knows.
Moonbeam:
In the life of the spirit there is no ending that is not a beginning.
--Henrietta Szold
Top
Ten Late Night Snacks: Top Ten Dumb Guy Tips for Avoiding the
Bird Flu
10
Before eating chicken, soak it in Lysol
9
Don't lick unfamiliar pigeons
8
Frighten birds by constantly meowing
7
Stay away from basketball great Larry Bird
6
Anti-bacterial smoothies
5
Move to a place where there are no birds, like the moon
4
Avoid birds that look like they're up to something
3
Go back to the old Y2K bunker, start drinking
2
Fill bird feeder with Sucrets
1
If you have a chicken, check for swelling in the McNuggets.
Not
So Late Night Snacks: On the meeting with Chuck and Nancy:
Mike Pence, especially, he seemed to have prepared
for the meeting by eating fistfuls if Ambient. Seriously, in this
oval office meeting the only person there more uncomfortable and
frozen still was the bust Martin Luther King, Jr. --Peter Sagal
Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
Remember
this December that love weighs more than gold. --Josephine Daskam
Bacon
We're
not winning many battles, Caesar. If we move too quickly our
underwear shows. / You really Odyssey the new Mythology movie.
This
is the Christmas we all know so well ... The
First Hard Sell
..........My
name is Suzy Creamcheese.........Frank
Zappa (Mothers of Invention) .....The Voice of Cheese
^^^
Shoeshine
Boy's heroic alter ego, appears whenever Sweet Polly Purebred is
being victimized by such villains as Simon
Bar Sinister
or
Riff
Raff.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: On
December 21, 1969, Vince Lombardi coached his last game for the
Washington Redskins (10) against the Dallas Cowboys (20) at the
Cotton Bowl.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Mother: Are there any classes you're having trouble with? Student:
The Bourgeoisie
Weird
Word of the Week:
Macilent – lean, shriveled, excessively thin
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-mac2.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Remove a ring stuck on a finger. Several medical journals claim that
WD-40 is the perfect cure for a toe stuck in the bathtub faucet, a
finger stuck in soda bottle, or a ring stuck on a finger.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wd40.html
I
was worshipping Hermes way before it was cool. / I only worship minor
dieties like Karpo or Adephagia these days.
There'll
be three of me ... I'll
Be Cloned For Christmas
...........Pair
of khaki pants with my shoe shined black.........Frank
Zappa .....Willie The Pimp
^^^^
Wally Cox was the voice of Shoeshine Boy aka Underdog
Top
Ten Date of the Week: October 25, 2005
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've
found that if you tuck one part of your pant leg into your sock,
people expect less of you.
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week: Science fiction conventions
seem to be over for the year So here's a joke instead: Kirk, Spock,
McCoy, and Ensign Ricky are beaming down to the alien plant. Guess
who's not coming back.
Son
of Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Y'know it might save
time if you started appointing people who are already in jail.
--Aide to Trump Lee Judge cartoon 12/20/18
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
Academicsera - 364th
International Conference on Science, Technology, Engineering and
Management (ICSTEM, 12/21-22, Washington, DC) ...innovative
academics and industrial experts
http://academicsera.com/Conference2018/USA/17/ICSTEM/
Puck
the Brave Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck just settling in for a long winter's nap.
~~The private eye agency is closed for the holidays.
Nagaina
used to tell tales of a snake with women for hair. / Your lack of
knowledge about mythology will always be your Achilles' elbow.
There's
nothing we can say ... God
Rest We Weary Working Mom
..........are
you just asking these questions.........Frank
Zappa .....Didja Get Any Onya
^^^^^
Underdog nearly always spoke in rhyming couplets as in “There's no
need to fear, Underdog is here!”
Month
of the Week:
December is Safe Toys and Gifts Month –World Against Toys Causing
Harm (WATCH) lists the 10 worst toys list: https://toysafety.org/
--Because harming children is no joke.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Life
has no remote. Get up and change it yourself. --Submitted by bm of
ks
Grammar
Joke of the Week: A
comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
Today's
Peace of History, December
21, 1919: Amidst a strike for union
recognition by 395,000 steelworkers, the "Red Scare" was
launched with the deportation of Alexander Berkman, Emma Goldman, and
some 250 other radicals.
Saturnalia
lasted seven days, but telling time on a pocket sundial is hard. To
start with, we don't have pockets./ Lyre, Lyre, the city's on fire.
Santa's
slain his reindeer, now he flies the Enola Gay ...Buy
War Toys for Christmas
..........Don't
it ever get lonesome.........Frank
Zappa .....Road Ladies
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle, December 21, 2018, ePistle with Rings. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Peace, Laughs, and Togas. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511
Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam:
The secret of success is to be ready when your opportunity comes.
--Benjamin Disraeli
Cost
of War:
As
of 12/13/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,882,708,827,795.
As
of 12/13/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,880,738,663,277.
As
of 12/13/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $868,433,036,392.
As
of 12/13/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $867,094,297,453.
As
of 12/13/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $641,401,617,402.
As
of 12/13/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $639,718,625,938.
As
of 12/13/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $301,409,399,562
As
of 12/13/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $301,026,972,964.
As
of 12/13/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,693,953,656,889.
As
of 12/13/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,688,579,309,520.
The
joy of brightening other lives becomes for us the magic of the
holidays. --W.C. Jones
..........You
just don't understand. You're from Kalamazoo.........Frank
Zappa .....Jumbo Go Away
You
mustn't assume that you are secure ... Santa
Claus Is Tapping Your Phone
I,
for one, like Roman numerals. / Sorry, I know you hate stupid puns.
My Apollogees.
Famous
Last Words:
Sίochάin – Peace Ogham
Alphabet
Blessed
be your holiday
Cozy
be your hearth
Merry
be your family
Peaceful
be your heart
--Submitted
by eg of mt
christine
Last
Laugh:
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