Famous
First Words: We the People of the United States... The
Constitution of the United States
Welcome
to Ask a Stupid Question Day! --Can I use Pam spray as tanning oil? \
Did they purposely make dyslexia had to spell?
..........Guess
I ain't too diplomatic.........Garth Brooks …..Against The Grain
Peace
may sound simple - one beautiful word - but it requires everything we
have, every quality, every strength, every dream, every high ideal.
--Yehudi Menuhin
It
is an ideal Friday morning. The 62°F temperature is near perfect.
Pale, pale clouds wrinkle across the sky, paler even than the fading
moon in the west. A light northern breeze moves the willow in a
graceful dance but hardly bothers the maple or oak nearby. Birdsong
is distant and generic; half dozen small birds sit on a power line
discussing their plans for the day just out of ear range. A prop
plane flies over and drowns out all sound but Puck barking at a
squirrel who runs across Bruno's yard up the maple, through limbs to
the oak, and down on the next street over without ever letting go of
a mouthful of walnut. Justice, apparently, knows squirrel barking and
has rushed out to provide backup. I begin to get a little chilly; so
I take one more gulp of my sweetened decaf, and one more deep breath
of crisp fall air, and I return to my sitting room that smells of
incense and life. Let me just freshen my coffee, and then we can
talk.
Hope
your weekend answers all your questions, ePistliers.
Had
a pupil ask me if the Sun they saw in America was the same as the Sun
we saw here in Scotland, and why was their Sun so much warmer
\ Are the angles we learned about in geometry in °F or °C?
..........Just
for laughs, I dialed her old number.........Garth Brooks …..What
She's Doing Now
Trivia
Questions: Save the Koalas Day ! What do you really know
about koalas.
^
Know which animals are most closely related to the koala?
^^
More or less, how many koalas are out there in the wild?
^^^
How big do koalas get?
^^^^
How old do they get?
^^^^^
What does the koala eat?
Funniest
Thing I Read of the Week: Stagehand: We
do precision guess work based on unreliable data provided by those of
questionable knowledge. --Submitted by dr of oh
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
42%
of librarian dates end up with one person looking something up on
Wikipedia while the other checks IMDB.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Two
part Question: Do they have black people in Canada? Do they call them
African Canadians? ##No, they would still be called African
Americans because Africa is in South America and Canada is in North
America so either way the same. \ Why isn't there a mouse-flavored
cat food?
..........Last
night we talked of old times, families, and hometowns.........Garth
Brooks …..Burning Bridges
Moonbeam:
Silence is a true friend who never betrays. --Confucius
Something
to Think About of the Week:
Big
Hello: Kasalehlie
– Pohnpeian (Micronesia)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Give
someone a book, they'll read for a day. Teach someone to write a
book...and they'll spend a life-time mired in paralyzing self doubt.
--Submitted by sb of ar
Week
of the Week:
International Week of the Deaf (9/24-30) – Learn to sign your name
in American Sign Language:
https://www.babble.com/crafts-activities/how-to-sign-your-name-in-asl/
"Well,
I've taken the test twice, but everyone else in here hasn't taken it,
so am I taking my test for the first time or the third time?"
\ Drought? Why can't we just fill up the reservoir with tap water?
..........But
I can't walk away from you.........Garth Brooks …..Shameless
^
The
closest relative of the koala is the wombat. The
koala is also related to the kangaroo. The reason the koala is called
a koala bear is because the koala looks like a teddy bear.
Almanac:
It is Friday, September 28, 2018. The moon was full (Harvest) last
Monday and is in Taurus. It is Ask a Stupid Question
Day, Hug a Vegetarian Day, Kiwanis Kid Day,
Love Note Day, National Good Neighbor Day,
National Walk to Work Day, and Save the Koala Day. It is also Fish
Tank Floorshow Night. In California it is
Cabrillo Day (When White People Discovered California, 1542) . Guinea
celebrates Referendum Day (1958) in Libya it is Shawwal and Republic
of China (Taiwan) commemorates Confucius' Birthday/Teachers' Day.
Among
those born on this day were Confucius (551 BCE), Pompey (106
BCE), Varavaggio (1573), Frances Willard (1839), Georges Clemenceau
(1841), Ed Sullivan (1902), Al Capp (1909), Marcello Mastroianni
(1924), Arnold Stang (1925), Brigitte Bardot (1934), Phil Hartman
(1948), and Moon Unit Zappa (1967).
On
September twenty-eighth the US constitution was sent to the states
for approval (1787), flogging was abolished in the US Navy (1850),
the Bronx Museum for the Arts opened (1988), 166 Wobblies were
indicted for protesting World War I (1917), and Garth Brook's album
"Ropin' the Wind" became the first country album to debut
at No. 1 on the Billboard pop chart (1991).
Night
Sky, 9/21:
Mars
shines well to the right of the waxing gibbous Moon this
evening.Between them lies dim, boat-shaped Capricornus — or as I
sometimes see it in a dark sky, a huge, smiling clown mouth gaping
down at the world.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
sleeping angel
This
Week: Saturday, September 29 –
National Ghost Hunting Day & Save Your Photos Day
Sunday,
September 30 – Blasphemy Day & National Love People Day
Monday,
October 1 – National Lace Day & Fire Pup Day &
International Coffee Day
Tuesday,
October 2 – International Day of Non-Violence & Phileas
Fogg's Wager Day
Night
Sky, 10/2: The Moon is at Last Quarter tonight.
Wednesday,
October 3 – Techies Day & Balloons Around The World Day
Thursday,
October 4 – Vodka Day & Improve Your Office Day
Had
a student ask me "What are those pyramid-shaped things in Egypt
called?" \ If the Number 2 pencil is the most
popular, how come it's still number 2?
..........A
blooming rose in a bed of sand.........Garth Brooks …..In Lonesome
Dove
^^
Now
there are only 2,000 to 8,000 koalas in the wild! Although not
officially classified as endangered, the population of Australian
koalas has dropped by 90% in less than a decade. This is due to the
destruction of the koala's natural habitat, a narrow crescent on the
eastern coast of Australia.
Moonbeam:
To navigate is necessary, to live is not. --Pompey
Late
Night Snacks: Trump is campaigning for the
midterms in Las Vegas, and out of habit, the moment he walked into a
casino, it went bankrupt. --Jimmy Fallon / Former first lady Michelle
Obama has announced she's adding dates to her upcoming book tour due
to overwhelming fan demand. And Sean Spicer announced that his book
tour has really given him a chance to enjoy some "me time."
--Seth Meyers / And where did Drumpf tell the foreign minister of
Spain to build that wall? Straight through the Sahara Desert in
Africa. Drumpf is not great with geography and borders, which is
weird. Usually the only time Drumpf has problems understanding
boundaries is with female employees. --James Corden / Drumpf also
addressed the conspiracy theory that his administration is being
opposed inside the government by the so-called "Deep State."
But Drumpf doesn't like that phrase. "I don't like to use it
because it sounds so conspiratorial, and believe it or not, I'm
really not a conspiratorial person." I wonder who spread the
rumor that he was conspiratorial? Must be the same people who faked
Obama's birth certificate, stole all those people from Drumpf's
inauguration crowd, and helped Ted Cruz's father kill JFK. --Stephen
Colbert / Stormy Daniels in her new memoir implies that as an
exchange for sex, Donald Drumpf offered to rig "The Apprentice"
so she could win. Even worse, Drumpf made the same offer to Gary
Busey — and he took it. --Conan O'Brien
Not
So Late Night Snacks: He didn't comment about
the revealations from Stormy Daniel's book. In the book Ms Daniels
compares the president's staff of chief, visually, to the Mario Card
Video Game character, Toad. --Peter Sagal ...It's a joyful little
stubby mushroom. --Faith Salie ...Have you ever played the game.
That character always finishes like really quickly and then the rest
of the characters don't get to finish at all. --Adam Burke Wait,
Wait, Don't Tell Me
“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.” --Thich Nhat Hanh
In
a sex ed class: "Do vaginas have taste buds?" Everyone
looks at him like wtf is going through your head... "Well why
else would they make flavored condoms?" \ Why
isn't phonics spelled the way it sound?
..........Eighteen
wheels anchored, somewhere out of Dover.........Garth Brooks …..Cold
Shoulder
^^^
The adult koala generally grows to 25 - 30 inches
long. The koala is very small when it's just born. After 1 month the
cub is 1 cm. long. The adult koala weighs 15 to 30 pounds.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: 1978, President Jimmy Carter
signed Proclamation 4601 establishing September 24, 1978 as National
Good Neighbor Day, stating that it should be observed "with
appropriate ceremonies and activities."
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Our
refrigerator is two magnets short of changing earth's polarity.
Weird
Word of the Week:
Backronym – A
backronym
(sometimes
bacronym)
is a reverse acronym. To create one, you take a word that isn’t an
acronym and create a fictitious expansion for it. Some
backronyms are designed as mnemonics. A classic example is the Apgar
score to
test the health of newborns. It was named after the American
physician Virginia Apgar but to help student doctors and nurses
remember the system, it has been changed to the acronym “Appearance,
Pulse, Grimace, Activity, and Respiration”. Similarly, the US Amber
Alert programme
is said to mean “America’s Missing: Broadcast Emergency
Response”, though it was actually named after a missing child,
Amber Hagerman. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-bac1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Heal chapped lips. Apply a little Vaseline Petroleum Jelly to the
lips before going outdoors and again before going to bed.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/vaseline.html
While
I was student teaching, I had a student ask where Texas was on the
map I was projecting on the screen. The map was of China
\ Why isn't 11 pronounced Onety-one?
...........But
we leave the handle stickin' out.........Garth Brooks …..We Bury
The Hatchet
^^^^
Koalas
live for 20 or more years.
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
Cult Classic Convention (9/28-30, Bastrop, TX) This is your chance to
have your name carved in chainsaw history.
http://cultclassicconvention.com/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
22nd
Annual William & Mary Math Day Conference (9/28/18)
Provide
teachers with educational experiences, coaching, professional
developments, and workshops that will assist in fostering a deep
mathematical understanding in the everyday classroom.
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/william-and-mary-math-day-conference-2018-tickets-43308778723
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Not
to brag, but I was laughing at Donald Trump way before the UN decided
to do it. --Submitted by ma of va
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck sniffing out clues in the case of the Feisty
Foldex
A
couple of years ago, I had a student ask me if commas were real or
imaginary. He was equally dubious about semicolons, which he referred
to as "imitation periods" \ What disease did
cured ham actually have?
..........That
old diesel engine made an eerie sound.........Garth Brooks …..Papa
Loved Mama
^^^^^
The
koala only eats Eucalyptus leaves and it eats so many leaves, it
smells like the leaves. They
live and sleep in the eucalyptus trees. It's hot, light and dry
there.
Month
of the Week: October is Caffeine
Addiction Recovery Month – A day without coffee is like ...Just
kidding, I have no idea. / I don't know what I'd do without
coffee...probably twenty-five to life.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My
roomba just beat me to a cheeto I dropped on the floor. This is how
the war against machines begins.
Grammar
Joke of the Week: A
malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like
a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersion
on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
Today's
Peace of History, September 28, 1942:
In Denmark, underground anti-Nazi activists began systematic
smuggling Jews to Sweden. In just three weeks, all but 481 of
Denmark's 8000 Jews had been moved to safety.
My
mom is a teacher's assistant in a 5th grade class. A few weeks ago a
girl asked,"Are bears still real?" \ Why are
softballs hard?
..........He'll
win the next go 'round.........Garth Brooks …..Rodeo
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle September 28, 2018,What ePistle. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Laughs, love and no answers. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800
Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam:
I
think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything
funny, otherwise it all seems so sad.
--Moon Unit Zappa
Cost
of War:
As
of 9/27/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,855,108,818,518.
As
of 9/20/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,858,983,581,564.
As
of 9/27/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $852,309,160,928.
As
of 9/20/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $850,970,654,874.
As
of 9/27/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $621,131,437,617.
As
of 9/20/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $619,448,909,576.
As
of 9/27/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $296,802,577,437.
As
of 9/20/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $296,420,189,677.
As
of 9/27/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,629,227,551,852.
As
of 9/20/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,623,855,256,191.
Turn
from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it. --Psalms 34:14
..........And
dare to dance the tide.........Garth Brooks …..The River
A
girl in my honors science class asked the teacher, and was 100%
serious, if ramen grew on ramen trees. \ Why do we Scrub Down but
Wash Up?
Famous
Last Words: so
ratifying the Same. --U.S. Constitution of
1878.
May
Peace ask the questions
And
Joy provide the answers
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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