Friday, September 14, 2018

ePistle's Hammer Down


Famous First Words: In the U.S. alone, more than 10 billion donuts are made every year. --National Cream Filled Doughnut Day website
It is National Truck Driver Appreciation Week (9/9-15) A police office pulled over an 18 wheeler. He went to the window of the truck and said "Papers". The truck driver said, "Scissors. I win", and drove off. ~~This ePistle is dedicated to my friend Doris with whom I attended Turner High School when Earth was still molten. Thanks, Doris, for driving those trucks all those years, we appreciate it.
..........Oh, I'm so happy that I could flip.........Sha Na Na …..Summertime, Summertime
Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. --Buddha
It is a bright Friday morning. The sky is littered with gatherings of mist that are thin and rumply. Some are lit from below by the rising sun. The willow branches are barely moving and no breeze ruffles Puck's fur. Amid the noise of cars carrying people off I hear again that bird call that is still unfamiliar to my ear. I search the trees but cannot find it. The world does not yet smell like fall, but it does smell of mown grass and soil. Puck spies a squirrel making its way across Bruno's yard and the barking begins. It drowns out the neighbor's air conditioning and all birdsong. He's so happy that I decide to join him. I take my cup of sweetened, creamed decaf outside and step outside the door. I am barefoot because someone told me I should do that everyday. (I assumed we get a pass if it freezing.) The grass is damp and cool on my feet and the coffee is sweet and warm on my tongue. Ahhh, a beautiful morning, altogether.
May your weekend guide you to a road not yet taken, ePistliers.
A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it he comes to a the low bridge and gets stuck under it. The cars are backed up behind him. Eventually, a cop car pulls up. The cop gets out and walks around to the truck driver. He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, "Got stuck huh, sir?" The trucker replies, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
..........She's as skinny as a stick of macaroni.........Sha Na Na …..Boney Maroney
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to the United Nations Building !!
^ Do you know how many nations were members in 1948 or now?
^^ The headquarters is in NYC, can you name any of the other three cities in which they maintain offices?
^^^ On whose soil do the UN buildings rest?
^^^^ How many of the buildings that make up the UN complex can you name?
^^^^^ What is the approximate square footage of the headquarters?
Very Best News of the Week I: Here is Maxwell Elliot Brault Yunuba, born September 14th, 8lb 1oz.. My very first great grandchild.

Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: New Sneakers: $100. Advertising Deal: $1,000,000. Burning everything bearing the name of the Goddess of Victory just before a crucial elections: Priceless. --Submitted by gd of nm
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: For every library rule there is an equal and opposite library rule. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Bumper sticker on a Mack Truck: Our Drivers are safe, courteous and professional. Want to make something of it? 1 800-328-7448 /
..........fe fe fi fi fo fo fum.........Sha Na Na …..Charlie Brown
Moonbeam: A sexual revolution begins with the emancipation of women, who are the chief victims of patriarchy, and also with the ending of homosexual oppression. --Kate Millett
Something to Think About of the Week:

Big Hello: Wai – Pitjantjatjara (Australia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: just put salt on the napkin in this bar so the napkin doesn't stick to the bottom of my drink and the guy next to me asked if I worked at NASA -ryan --Submitted by dr of oh
Week of the Week: National Guitar Flat-Picking Days (9/12-16) --A man asks the devil: “how much does it cost to be the greatest guitar player in the world?” The devil says: “Give me your Soul.” The man asks: “What can I get for a dollar?” Devil: “Greatest flat picker in the world.”
As a trucker stops for a red light, Donald Junior catches up. He jumps out of the car, runs up to the truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and he says ‘Hi, you are losing some of your load.’ The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, Junior catches up again. He jumps out of the car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they’ve never spoken, he says brightly, ‘You are losing some of your load!’ Shaking his head the trucker ignores it again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. At the next light the trucker hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the car. He knocks on the window, and as he lowers it, he says, ‘Hi, my name is Kevin, it’s winter in Canada and I’m driving the SALT TRUCK!!!!!!
..........Ooh, ee, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang.........Sha Na Na …..Witch Doctor
^ The UN began with 51 countries and is now comprised of 193 Member States.
Almanac: It is Friday, September 14, 2018. The moon will be first quarter on Sunday and is in Scorpio. It is National Cream-Filled Donut Day and Stand Up to Cancer Day.
Among those born on this day were Ivan Pavlov (1849), Margaret Sanger (1879), Hal Wallis (1899), Clayton Moore (1908), Kate Millett (1934) and Bowser Bauman (1947, Sha Na Na).
On September fourteenth the first lighthouse in the US lit up (Boston Harbor, 1718), the typewriter ribbon was patented (1886), the Zeppelin II made its maiden flight (1938), Milton Berle started his TV career (1948), the world broke ground for the UN building (1948) and Mother Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton was canonized (1975).
Night Sky, 9/14: In twilight, catch the crescent Moon in the southwest with Jupiter to its lower right. A line from the Moon through Jupiter points toward Venus, much lower. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Gatecon: 2018 The Invasion (9/14-16, Richmond, Vancouver) "They took the seed of an idea and planted it, and out grew Gatecon" Don S. Davis http://www.gatecon.com/TI18
Interjected Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Lawrence Bhakti Festival: Give Bliss a Chant! --Submitted by ml of ks
Actual Science Convention of the Week: 9th Euro Biosensors & Bioelectronics Congress ics Congress (9/13-14) London, UK) Research and Innovations on Biosensing Technologies and Bionics https://biosensors.conferenceseries.com/europe/
This Week: Saturday, September 15 – Greenpeace Day & International Day of Democracy
Sunday, September 16 – National Step Family Day & Stay Away From Seattle Day
Night Sky, 9/16 : The Moon hangs over Antares at nightfall. Far to the Moon's left are Saturn, then Mars. To the Moon's lower right is Jupiter. And look far to Jupiter's lower right to catch Venus before it sets.
Monday, September 17 – Citizenship Day aka Constitution Day & Time's Up Day
Tuesday, September 18 – Get Ready Day & National Ceiling Fan Day
Night Sky, 9/18 : Venus (magnitude –4.7) shines low in the west-southwest in evening twilight and sets before twilight is over. Find it lower right of Jupiter; their separation diminishes from 20° to 16° this week
Wednesday, September 19 – Talk Like A Pirate Day & Arrrrg, Who Cares...I'm too busy talking like a pirate.
Thursday, September 20 – National Teach Ag Day

..........I couldn't sleep at all last night.........Sha Na Na …..Tossin' and Turnin'
^^ The UN also maintains offices in Geneva, Vienna, & Nairobi. It operates field stations in other cities around the world.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's only a murder of crows if there's probable caws. --Submitted by ksz of ks
Very Best News of the Week II: My grandson, David, passed the bar (we weren't really worried, but you still hold your breath a little until the notice arrives). He's off to DC to lawyer for the EPA.
Moonbeam: This country is becoming increasingly authoritarian. It's based on capital punishment. --Kate Millett
Late Night Snacks: In a recent interview, [Paul McCartney] said that he once saw God while he was doing psychedelic drugs. Paul was like, "Oh, man, that's God." While God was like, "Holy crap, that's Paul McCartney. My God. You're the biggest — I love you so much." --Jimmy Fallon / Everybody is talking about this big bombshell in The New York Times. They published an article written by an anonymous senior White House official that claims members of the the administration are concerned about Donald Drumpf's mental stability. So from within the White House they are actively working to thwart the president's agenda. As you can imagine, Drumpf is furious about this today, mostly because he thought getting his agenda thwarted meant something totally different. --James Corden / Well, now the hunt for the author is on. The op-ed has sent tremors through the West Wing and launched a frantic guessing game. As opposed to the other Drumpf games. There's Collusional Chairs, Charade of a Marriage, and Pin the Crime on the Don Jr. --Stephen Colbert
Not So Late Night Snacks: I love that they've narrowed the supects down to about 400 people. And the only person that we all know didn't write it is Melania because she can't write anything that Michelle Obama didn't write first. --Helen Hong, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me / They haven't figured out that trump is like a character in a 1930s radio serial. Like every week it ends in a breathless inescapable cliffhanger. And then you tune in next week and he gotten out of it. And every week Mueller the Merciless says “I've have you now”. Is this the end of Trump, Rogers? No, it's not. He always gets out of it. He has his secret Russian decoder ring and he gets out of it. --Adam Burke, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
The real and lasting victories are those of peace, and not of war. --Ralph Waldo Emerson
As I was driving to work this morning, this truck driver swerved right through the traffic, cutting up the other road users before smashing into the back of a car. On the back of his truck was a sign saying, 'How am I driving?' I thought to myself, "I've got no idea either!"
..........You calypso when you chicken at the hop.........Sha Na Na …..At the Hop
^^^ Although it is situated in New York City, the land occupied by the United Nations Headquarters and the spaces of buildings that it rents are under the sole administration of the United Nations and not the US government.
Worthless Fact of the Week: When on September 14, 1716, the beacon from Little Brewster Island pierced the night sky overlooking Boston Harbor for the first time, there were only seventy lighthouses in existence in the whole world. Click here for pictures
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don't think of them as politicians and news anchors; think of them as lobbyists for the Military-Industrial-Complex. --Russell Brand --Submitted by pm of hi
Weird Word of the Week: I usually find the English language painfully boring, but then I found out someone invented a term for "fear of palindromes" and it's aibohphobia. --Submitted by rhb of ks
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Help prevent diaper rash. Apply a thin coat of Vaseline Petroleum Jelly to a baby's clean bottom before putting a fresh diaper on the tyke. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/vaseline.html
What do you call a Prime Truck at the top of a hill? A Miracle. / I don't always fill out a log book, but when I do, I make stuff up.
...........The bebop stork was about to arrive.........Sha Na Na …..Born to Hand Jive
^^^^ The UN complex includes a number of major buildings. While the Secretariat building is most predominantly featured in depictions of the headquarters, it also includes the domed General Assembly building, the Dag Hammarskjöld Library, as well as the Conference and Visitors Center, which is situated between the General Assembly and Secretariat buildings, and can be seen only from FDR Drive or the East River.
Grammar Joke of the Week: A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
Very Best News of the Week III: My brother, Fletcher and his wife, Sandra, from Phoenix is in KC for his 6o Year High School Reunion. It is always so pleasant to visit with them.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I hope Elon Musk never gets into a scandal because ElonGate would be really drawn out.
Science Game on the Internet of the Week: Auditorium Click the game area, turn up your speakers, and relax. We hope you enjoy playing in our Auditorium! https://cipherprime.com/games/auditorium/
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck and his new partner, Justice, keeping track of the neighbors in the case of the Double Dragon Li.
SWIFT Trucks: Slow Wagon In Fast Traffic or Sure Wish I'd Finished Training / The difference between a Freightliner and a Jehovah's Witness is that you can close the door on the Jehovah's Witness.
..........I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still.........Sha Na Na …..Da Doo Ron Ron
^^^^^ The projected size of the UN headquarters is 2,500,000 square feet.
Month of the Week: September is Library Card Sign-up Month – I kept forgetting my library card so I had the barcode tattooed to my arm. / If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need. --Cicero
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm going to raise money to give free DNA test to white supremacists to prove they're not pure blood. It's going to be called IdidNaziThatComing.com –Submitted by pl of hi
Very Best News of the Week IV: The Roy Zimmerman concert was great! He is so much fun and you feel like going out and doing something. ~~So – Great week for me !!!!!
Today's Peace of History, September 14, 1948: A groundbreaking ceremony took place in New York City at the site of the United Nations' world headquarters.
One day a trucker got slightly stuck with his load under an overpass on a busy stretch of highway. It wasn't long before a cop stopped by to check things out. He had sized up the situation and then advised to the trucker to let some air out of his tires, so he could move on. The trucker replied "I'm stuck at the top officer, not at the bottom."
..........It will go down in history, just you wait, my friend.........Sha Na Na …..Rock & Roll Is Her to Stay
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle September 14, 2018. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace, Laughs, & 18 wheels. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: What's the future of the woman's movement? How in the hell do I know? I don't run it. --Kate Millett
Cost of War:
As of 9/13/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,855,108,818,518.
As of 9/6/18 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,853,114,058,852.
As of 9/13/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $849,675,969,719.
As of 9/6/18 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $848,319,003,579.
As of 9/13/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $617,821,049,576.
As of 9/6/18 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $616,116,762,139.
As of 913/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $296,050,219,390.
As of 9/6/18 Veterans Care since 2001: $295,662,836,349.
As of 9/13/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,618,656,878,258.
As of 9/6/18 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,613,214,429,441.
Peace and Justice are two sides of the same coin. --Dwight D Eisenhower
..........Well I hate to leave you, baby..........Sha Na Na …..Good Night, Sweetheart
I was walking down the street today when tow truck driver pulled up alongside me and said, "Excuse me, I'm looking for the accident site involving a van carrying a load of cutlery." "No problem," I said. "Go straight down this road for 1 mile, then take the first left, and when you get to the fork in the road you're there."
Famous Last Words: for ever and ever. Amen. --The St. Elizabeth Seton Prayer
May Peace pack your cargo
And Joy haul your load
prairie mama
christine


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