Friday, December 8, 2017

tImeless ePistle

Famous First Words: This council was summoned by Pope Pius IX ..Decrees of Vatican I
Welcome to Pretend To Be A Time Traveler Day! HOW TO OBSERVE: *Act like a time traveler. *Choose your time period and decide whether you are traveling to the past or the future. *Be overly shocked when someone says, “I’d kill for a double mocha latte right now,” or “That car is the bomb.” *Misuse technology. When someone offers you earbuds to listen to a new song, sniff them to see if they smell good. *Use #PretendToBeATimeTraveler to share on social media.
..........I don't own the clothes I'm wearing.........Gregg Allman …..Midnight Rider
Non-violence and truth are inseparable and presuppose one another. --Mahatma Gandhi
It is a cold (23°F) Friday morning. The sky is covered with thick, lumpy clouds but there are cracks where the sky above can be seen when the rising sun illuminates. The weather accents the browning of grass and bushes and ornamental grasses blowing in a light breeze that drives the cold past gloves and scarves and coat sleeves. No birds are yet at the feeders so a lone squirrel is the focus of Puck's attention and angry barking. The hum of distant machinery is enhanced by local residents driving off to work or play – somewhere warm, I hope. I huddle by the storage shed door to block the west wind and watch the squirrel deftly skip the fences and disappear. The barking stops, the shout of a child on the way to school rings through the air and Puck and I return to warmth and yellow light and the smell of brewing coffee and floral incense. Puck accepts a treat and settles onto his pillow while I shed layers and layers and layers before I can sit down the drink the coffee and tell the tale to you.
ePistliers, I hope your weekend was...have is...will hasen...be great.
I heard a really funny time travel joke tomorrow. / What if the CIA invented dinosaurs to keep us from traveling back in time?
..........No, I'm no stranger to the streets.........Gregg Allman …..I'm No Angel
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to Gentlemen Prefer Blonds
^ Any idea which or whose book the play is based on?
^^ Who wrote the music?
^^^ Do you remember the name of the principal blonde or where she was from?
^^^^ Know what blonde played the blonde?
^^^^^ More or less, how long did the original production last?
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Kim Jong Un fears that GOP Tax Bill Makes His Plan to Destroy the US Redundant. --Bororwitz Report –Not The News
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 90% of libraries don’t have an Elf on the shelf because staff are already experts at giving silent, judging stares. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
The Local Time Travel Club Raffle Prize is two tickets to the 1966 World Cup Final. / What do you call a dumb time machine? A RETARDIS.
..........One more hour is one more eternity.........Gregg Allman …..Night Games
Moonbeam: ~~I looked up quotes from Gemma Frisius (!!Happy Birthday, Gem) and found this picture which looks to me very much like Gallifrian the mother tongue of Dr. Who – universe renowned time traveler. ???? 

Something to Think About of the Week: Using the toilet on the airplane means I'm certified to teach yoga now.
Big Hello: परनाम pǝrna:m – Magahi (East India)
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Activist Sign: If I Can't Even Afford Ramen, I'll Eat The Rich. --Sumbitted by rhb of ks
Week of the Week: Holiday Cookie Swap (December 4-8) –Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap. Same calories, cleaner kitchen!

The major problem is simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be described differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is further complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own mother or father. Most readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up; and in fact in later additions of the book all pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs. --Douglas Adams Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

..........I know that time is gonna take its toll.........Gregg Allman …..The Dark End of the Street
^ Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: The Intimate Diary of a Professional Lady is a comic novel written by Anita Loos, first published in 1925. The book was written by Joseph Fields & Anita Loos ~~It is a very funny book, I recommend it.
Almanac: It is Friday, December 8, 2017. The moon will be last quarter on Sunday and is in Virgo. It is Bodhi Day and Pretend To Be A Time Traveler Day. On Guam it is Lady of Camarin Day and in Japan it is Enlightenment of the Buddha Day. Spain, Panamá, and the Canal Zone celebrate Mother's Day; Spain also commemorates School Reunion Day and Uruguay has declared this Beaches Day or Family Day . Finally, because it is the second Friday it is Official Lost & Found Day.
Among those born on this day were Horace (65 BCE), Gemma Frisius (1508), Christina (1626), Eli Whitney (1765), John Fawcett (1789), Bjornstjerne Bjornson (1832), William Durant (1861), Paul Klee (1879), Diego Rivera (1886), James Thurber (1894), Lee J Cobb (1911), Lucian Freud (1922), Sammy Davis Jr (1925), Jimmy Smith (1925), Maximilian Schell (1930), Mario Savio (1942), Bobby Elliot (Hollies, 1942), Jim Morrison (1943), Gregg Allman (1947), Sam Kinison (1952), Kim Basinger (1953), and Sinead O'Connor (1966).
On December eighth Cook sailed away from the Society Island (1777), Beethoven's 7th Symphony premiered (1813), Berlioz's La Damnation de Faust premiered (1846), Verdi's Luisa Miller premiered (1849), Vatican I opened (1869), the Jesse James gang robbed a train in Muncie, Kansas (1874), the American Federation of Labor (AFL) formed by 26 craft unions (1886), Holmes joined the Supreme Count (1902), the bird banding society was founded (1909), Sibelius' 5th Synphony premiered (1915), Cole Porter's NYCers premiered (1930), coaxial cable was patented (1931), the NAACP filed a suit to equalize the salaries of black and whtie teachers (1936), Jordan annexed Arabic Palestine (1948), Styne's Gentlemen Prefer Blondes premiered (1949), I Love Lucy revealed Lucy's pregnancy (1952), Beatles Magical Mystery Tour was released (1967), and the Irish Republican Socialist Party was formed (1974).
Night Sky, 12/8: Bright Vega still shines well up in the west-northwest after dark at this time of year. The brightest star above it is Deneb, the head of the big Northern Cross, which is formed by the brightest stars of Cygnus. At nightfall the shaft of the cross extends lower left from Deneb. By about 11 pm, the cross plants itself more or less upright on the northwest horizon.
Third Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Well, if they can put a man on the moon, why not all of them? --Szubmitted by mj of ks
This Week: Saturday, December 9 – International Anti-Corruption Day & Weary Willie Day
Sunday, December 10 – Dewey Decimal System Day & Human Rights Day
Night Sky, 12/10: The W pattern of Cassiopeia stands on end in early evening, very high toward the northeast. The bottom star of the W is Epsilon (ε) Cassiopeiae. That's your starting point for hunting down the little-known star cluster Collinder 463, sparse and loose but visible in binoculars. It's 8° to Epsilon's north (the direction toward Polaris), and is surrounded by a nice quadrilateral of 4th- and 5th-magnitude stars about 3° wide.
Monday, December 11 – Green Monday & Nobel Prize Day & Jane Addams Day
Tuesday, December 12 – National Ding-a-ling Day & National Lost Day
Night Sky, 12/12: Mercury and Saturn are disappearing deep down in the afterglow of sunset. Uranus (magnitude 5.7, in Pisces) and Neptune (magnitude 7.9, in Aquarius) are well placed in the southeast and south, respectively, in early evening
Wednesday, December 13 – National Day of the Horse
Thursday, December 14 – Money Day & Yoga Day
Night Sky, 12/14: Venus is getting lost very deep in the glare of sunrise. Mars and Jupiter (magnitudes +1.7, and –1.7, respectively) rise well before dawn in the east-southeast. First up is Mars, accompanied by Spica to its right or upper right. Bright Jupiter rises about an hour after Mars, still well before dawn begins.

..........And I'm through the rains.........Gregg Allman …..Queen of Hearts
^^ Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - Lyrics by Leo Robin and music by Jule Styne
'Nother Funniest thing I read of the Week: I can't believe that out of ten thousand sperm, you were the quickest. --Steven Pearl
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Anglicon 2017: The Day of the Doctors. Special Guests – Peter Davison, (5th) and Sylvester McCoy (7th) doctor. (Seattle, WA, Dec 8-10, Airport Hilton) https://anglicon.org/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: Green Chemistry New Zealand (Dec 8-9) ...advance society in ways that are benign to the environment and sustainable for the foreseeable future. http://www.greenchemistry.science.auckland.ac.nz/
Late Night Snack: Jerry Springer says he won’t run for governor of Ohio next year. You know politics has gotten messy when Jerry Springer’s like, “I can’t be associated with this.” --Jimmy Fallon / An Ohio-based company made a cup holder for dip that attaches to a dashboard so you can eat chips and dip while you drive. I don’t have a joke about this, I just wanted to remind you we’re still the greatest country in the world. --Conan O'Brien / Anyone here have plans to travel over the holidays? Well, you might have to check your flights because American Airlines just experienced a computer glitch that has allowed all their pilots to take vacation at the same time, meaning that thousands of flights in December have no one to fly them. This is all part of American Airlines’ new campaign to make the rest of their services seem less awful. “Okay, fine. I’ll pay extra for my bags, but only if I get a pilot.” --James Corden / And on top of all this, 75-year-old Garrison Keillor, the guy from "A Prairie Home Companion," was fired today from Minnesota Public Radio. Can you imagine being fired from Minnesota Public Radio? It's like having your library card revoked. --Jimmy Kimmel / A couple in Arkansas recently named their baby Olivia Garten in honor of the restaurant chain Olive Garden. Olivia is joined at home by her older brother, Fred Lobster. --Seth Meyers / Donald Trump weighed in on the Lauer story tweeting, "Wow." Wait a minute. Wow? I'm still not used to a president typing the word "Wow." That's like if the first draft of the Gettysburg address was "Holy guacamole, this war sucks. Wow." --Stephen Colbert
Moonbeam: Life becomes useless and insipid when we have no longer either friends or enemies. --Queen Christina
No So Late Night Snack: How is this whole job creator myth still going ... trickle down ... it's just the rich peeing on us. --Hari Kondabolu Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
Non-violence is not the weapon of the weak. It is the weapon of the strong. --Betty Williams
I bumped into an old friend of mine from the Local Time Travel Club. We go back years. / There was a knock on the door. A battered looking future-me stood there. “Next time I knock,” she gasped, “don't answer”.
..........Don't worry about me, just let me go.........Gregg Allman …..I Love the Life I Live
^^^ Lorelei Lee was the blonde; she was from Little Rock, Arkansas.
Worthless Fact of the Week: Muncie is a neighborhood in Kansas City, KS on the north bank of the Kansas River. Rail lines run through it. The area derives its name from the Munsee which was part of the Algonquian speaking Delaware nation. ~~Muncie was one of the elementary schools that fed into Turner High School from which I graduated. It is possible that the James Gang robbing a train there is the most exciting thing that ever happened in Muncie.
Weird Word of the Week: Maloik – there's that devil-horn thing metal fans do with their hands. Apparently, it is called the maloik. From the Italian for evil eye (In the middle ages it was called cuckold) http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-mal4.htm
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Breaking News...Brain-eating zombies invade Washington, D.C., Die of Starvation --Submitted by gd of nw
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make an ice pack. Fill a Trojan Condom with water, like a water balloon, tie a knot in the open end, and place in the freezer to create an emergency ice pack. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/trojan.html ~~If you have to take the time to freeze it, you could use a real ice pack.
The farmer found an old contraption in the old barn and discovered it would take her back to a time when the fields were overrun with herbs. She started transporting them to now and selling them at the farmers market. She called it her Thyme Machine. / He got rich selling time travel sickness pills at a Dr. Who convention.
...........Somehow you're still on the run.........Gregg Allman …..Just Another Rider
^^^^ Gentlemen Prefer Blondes introduced Carol Channing to Broadway.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Premeditated – planned in advance. King Henry VI, Part I, Act III Scene I Bishop of Winchester: Comest thou with deep premeditated lines, with written pamphlets studiously devised...
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. --Anne Lamott
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's cub detective Cooper watching the gate (Detective emeritus Pepper in the back - not so much) in the Case of the Tiny Titan Terrier.
Time Traveler Frequently Asked Questions: I'm tempted to take up time travel. Is there any future in it? / I invented time travel 30 years before I invented time travel.
..........Love the way you soothe me.........Gregg Allman …..Move Me
^^^^^ Gentlemen Prefer Blondes opened in 1949 ran 740 performances and closed in 1951.
Month of the Week: December is Bingo's Birthday Month - Pat and Kim were playing *Bingo*. Pat kept looking over Kim's shoulder saying, you’ve got that number mark it off, you’ve got that number mark it off. After putting up with this for some time Kim got annoyed and said, “why don’t you do your own sheet?” Pat replied “I can’t it’s full”
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dear Santa. I'm writing to tell you I've been naughty and it was worth it, you fat, judgmental bastard. --sumbitted by sd of ks
Most Beautiful Thing in the State: Patterson Falls, NJ: From above, higher than the spires, higher even than the office towers…the river comes pouring in above the city and crashes from the edge of the gorge in a recoil of spray and rainbow mists — https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/14/travel/discovering-paterson-new-jersey.html
Today's Peace of History, December 8, 1961: The people of France voted to grant Algeria its independence in a referendum. This followed more than 130 years of French colonial control of the north African country. The result was a clear majority for self-determination, with 75% voting in favor.
I used to be addicted to time travel; but that's all in the past now. / A time traveler walks into a bar. He enjoys his food so much he goes back four seconds.
..........Georgia aint no paradise but a place I just call home.........Gregg Allman …..Multi-Colored Lady
Masthead of the Week: fRiday ePistle December 8, 2017. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace now and in the future. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. --Will Durant
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 12/7/17: $791,521,130,892.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 11/30/17: $790,845,079,828.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 12/7/17: $821,065,247,269.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 11/30/17: $821,045,488,004.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 12/7/17: $1,802,765,711,291.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 11/30/17: $1,801,353,896,904.
Non-violence is a permanent attitude we bring to the breakfast table and bring to bed at night. --Coretta Scott King
..........Where the willow don't bend.........Gregg Allman …..Going Going Gone
Someone drove by me in a convertible while listening to an audiobook; so now at parties I can brag that I've read 1/65th of the Time Traveler's Wife. / What do we want? Time Travel When do we want it? It's Irrelevant. / Is Day Light Savings Time time travel?
Famous Last Words: Love is all you need. --Final song on the Magical Mystery Tour Album
May Peace keep your clock
And Joy mark your days
prairie mama
christine



Last Laugh
 

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