Friday, December 1, 2017

eMperor's nEw ePistle

Famous First Words: I'll tell Mr. Marden you're here... Mr. Pim Passes By --A.A. Milne
Thank you, Mr. Andersen, for all those fine fairy tales: The unicorn's father, Pop 'Corn, used 'corn bread as money. / Typical Media Bias...first they label the wolf as “big and bad”, then they only give Riding Hood's point of view. / ~~For a fair and balanced view in the Red Riding Hood story try an animated film called Hookwinked.
..........You smiled and then the spell was cast.........Lou Rawls …..At Last
Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone's face? Did I say words of healing? --Henri Nouwen
It is a chilly (29°) Friday morning. The sky is without feature – no clouds, no left-over stars, no jet trails. The grass, largely still green, is covered with rime that makes it looks pale and alien. A light breeze passes now and then to remind the fingers and noses that winter is coming. keep up; sometimes he can. The sky is more white than blue as it backdrops a silent flight of gulls – in groups and not, organized and not – flying southeast into the rising golden sun. Cooper is in the yard and he and Puck run under the decks and around the fence occasionally yapping. Puck sometimes runs very fast to see if Coop can keep up. On the corner a group of children clamber onto the bus with much noise and movement. The dogs are too busy running to notice and complain. The grind of distant motors seems suddenly louder the slowly fades to white noise. Birdsong is everywhere mostly at a distance but cheerful in the bright morning. Pepper and Penny join Puck and Cooper outside and a general uproar of barking and tail wagging and movement ensues. Whew! It takes awhile for thais to calm down – end result all the dogs including mine went in the patio door and left me alone in this beautiful morning; yet all I can think about is how cold my fingers are and how delicious a cup of warm creamy coffee would taste.
Hope your weekend has the happiest ending ever, ePistliers.
Little known fact, Rapunzel was locked in the top of the Tower of Piza, but her rescuer was so fat that now the tower leans. / Snow White's brother, Egg White, was a buddy of Humpty Dumpty. ~~Some say the Dump was pushed off that wall; see The Big Over Easy (Nursery Crimes No. 1) by Jasper Fforde for details.
..........A root, a toot, a toodlie-a-da-toot..........Bette Midler …..Boogie Woogie Bulge Boy
Trivia Questions: Thanks to Jim for giving us basketball – the official religion of the city of Lawrence.
^ Know where Mr. Naismith was born and raised?
^^ How about the college he attended?
^^^ Any idea what constituted equipment when he first started the game?
^^^^ About when (or why) did Naismith come to Kansas?
^^^^^ When did basketball become an Olympic sport?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Oh, you've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: The average librarian's to-be-read pile is equal to half their height times 2. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Fairy tales written for optometrists: “Grandma, what big palpebral fissures and proptotic eyes you have. / What's pink, has a curly tail, and drinks blood? A Hampire. ~~Neither Little Red Riding Hood nor Three Little Pigs are Andersen fairy tales.
..........They've got a crazy way of loving there.........Lou Rawls …..Kansas City
Moonbeam: Knowledge and liberty are so prevalent in this country, that I do not believe that the United States would ever be disposed to establish one religious sect, and lay all others under legal disabilities. But as we know not what may take place hereafter, and any such test would be exceedingly injurious to the rights of free citizens, I cannot think it altogether superfluous to have added a clause, which secures us from the possibility of such oppression. --Oliver Wolcott, founding father
Something to Think About of the Week

Big Hello: Здpabo (Zdravo) - Macedonian
Week of the Week: Cookie Cutter Week (December 1-7) – Twas a cookie cutter that stabbed Cookie Monster. / Snoopy is just one cookie away from being happy.
Red Riding Hood told her therapist that she would rather have been eaten by the wolf than lived through the wrath of a her grandmother who objected to be mistaken for a wolf. / Dragon's sleep all day because they fight knights.
.......... Quench my desire..........Bette Midler …..Higher and Higher
^ James Naismith was born in 1861 in Ramsay township, near Almonte, Ontario where he attended a one room schoolhouse.
Almanac: It is Friday, December 1, 2017. The moon will be full (Cold) on Sunday and is in Taurus. The UN has declared this World AIDS Day. It is Antartica Day, Basketball Day, Bifocals at the Computer Monitor Liberation Day, Civil Air Patrol Day, Clark Kent's Birthday (Superman), (Note: Also June 18 in another Comic), Day With(out) Art Day, Mawlid Al Nabi, Rosa Parks Day, and Faux Fur Friday. In the Azores (1640), Portugal (1640), and Iceland (1918) it is Independence Day; while Cape Verde celebrates Restoration Day (1968) , Central African Republic commemorates Republic Day (1958) and Liberia observes Matilda Newport Day (1822). In Portuguese Guiana it is Mocidale Day aka Youth Day.
Among those born on the day were Juan de Padilla (1605), Quellien (1634), Francesco Stradivari (1671), John Keill (1671), Bernhard Weber (1712), Oliver Wolcott (1726), Martin Klaproth (1743), Pyotr Turchainov (1779), Princess Alexandra (1844), Rex Stout (1886), Ernst Toller (1893), Robert Welch (1899), Charles Finney (1905), Ike Isaacs (1919), Leon Biriotti (1929), Woody Allen (Allen Stuart Konigsberg, 1935), Lou Rawls (1935 or 36), Richard Pryor (1940), and Bette Midler (1945).
On December first the Lombard League was formed (1167), the first manual training school opened in north America (Maryland, 1750), Santo Domingo proclaimed independence from Spain (1821), Hans Christian Andersen published his first book of fairy tales (1835), the first telephone was installed in the white house (1878), Sherlock Holmes first appeared in print (1887), Naismith created basketball (1891), Boys Town was founded (1917), Milne's "Mr Pim Passes By" premiered (Manchester, 1919), Lady Nancy Astor was sworn-in as the first female member of the British Parliament (1919), the US saw its first skywriting (Hello USA, 1922), BINGO was invented (1929), gasoline was rationed (1942), Rosa Parks was arrested for refusing to move to the back of the bus (1955), Flower Drum Song opened (1958), the People's Democratic Republic of Yemen changed its name (from Independent People's Republic of South Yemen, 1970), Angola was admitted to the UN (1976), Thriller was released (1982), the Musee d'orsay opened (Paris, 1986), the Ukranian people voted for independence (1991), and Westinghouse formally changed its name to CBS (1997).
Night Sky, 12/1: The bright waxing gibbous Moon shines in the east this evening. Look upper right of it for the two brightest stars of Aries, left of it for the little Pleiades cluster, and below the Pleiades for orange Aldebaran.
This Week: Saturday, December 2 – National Mutt Day & Safety Razor Day & World Pear Day
Sunday, December 3 – International Day of Persons With Disabilities
Night Sky, 12/3: Does the Moon look just a trace bigger than usual? You're right! Tomorrow's full Moon is a "supermoon," in fact the closest full Moon of the year.
Monday, December 4 – National Cooke Day & National Dice Day & National Sock Day & World Soil Day
Tuesday, December 5 – AFL-CIO Day & Bathtub Party Day & International Ninja Night
Night Sky, 12/5: Bright Vega still shines well up in the west-northwest after dark. The brightest star above it is Deneb, the head of the big Northern Cross, which is formed by the brightest stars of Cygnus. At nightfall the shaft of the cross extends lower left from Deneb. By about 11 or midnight, the cross plants itself more or less upright on the northwest horizon.
Wednesday, December 6 – Miners' Day & Special Kids Day & World Trick Shot Day
Thursday, December 7 – International Civil Aviation Day & National Cotton Candy Day
Night Sky, 12/7: After dark this evening, look below the waxing gibbous Moon for Beta Ceti and above it for the Great Square of Pegasus.

.......... One day we've go ham and bacon.........Lou Rawls …..Tain't Nobody's Biz-ness If I Do
^^ Naismith attended McGill University in Montreal, Quebec.
Next Funniest thing I read of the Week: What if the spider you killed in your home had spent his entire life thinking that you were his roommate. Ever thought about that? No, you only think about yourself. --Submitted by sb of ak
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: AnonyCon (December 1-3, Stamford, CT) ... an annual game convention that brings people together to have fun, build community (~~sneer at the Oxford comma ,) and showcase new games. https://www.facebook.com/anonycon/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: NSTA Conference on Science Education...New Orleans, 11/20 – 12/2. the latest in science content, teaching strategy, and research to enhance and expand your professional growth. http://www.nsta.org/conferences/schedule2.aspx?id=2017new
Moonbeam: Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth. --Rex Stout
Late Night Snacks: Radio host Leeann Tweeden came forward and said Sen. Al Franken groped her without her consent. And she posted a photo as evidence. In fact, it’s so bad Franken’s already a front runner for president in 2020. --Jimmy Fallon / Infighting continues within the Republican Party. On Saturday, Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake was caught on mic when he made a remark, saying, “If we become the party of Roy Moore and Donald Trump, we are toast.” If? If you become the party of Donald Trump? He’s the president of the United States! That’s like the Catholic Church going, “Why does everyone keep associating us with Pope Francis? --James Corden / Sen. Flake, that’s a little too hard on toast. --Stephen Colbert / CBS news today fired host Charlie Rose after eight women accused him of sexual harassment. It's too bad, but if you want to keep your job, you've got to get that number up to 16. --Seth Meyers
Did I offer peace today? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? --Henri Nouwen
Being a fairy tale princess is hard. Rapunzel is expected to find happiness with a guy who pulls her hair and Snow White married a man who went around kisses corpses. / After his balloon landed in the swamp, he became the Wizard of Ooze. ~~Kansas' best known fairy tale until Brownback and his elves came along...
..........Some say love, it is a river..........Bette Midler …..The Rose
^^^ Naismith wanted to create a game of skill for the students instead of one that relied solely on strength. He needed a game that could be played indoors in a relatively small space. The first games were played with a soccer ball and two peach baskets.
Worthless Fact of the Week: When the game reached North America in 1929, it was known as "beano". It was first played at a carnival near Atlanta, Georgia. New York toy salesman Edwin S. Lowe renamed it "bingo" after he overheard someone accidentally yell "bingo" instead of "beano."
Weird Word of the Week: Limitrophe – adj. situated on the frontier, bordering another country; n. borderland. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-lim1.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Protect fuse igniters. During the Vietnam War, SEALS used condoms as sheaths to keep fuse igniters dry and ready. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/trojan.html ~~Strange, I don't have any fuse igniters in my house.
Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life. / Cinderella was lousy at tennis because she had a pumpkin for a coach.
...........Why tell the trees what ain't so.........Lou Rawls …..Whispering Grass
^^^^ In 1898 Naismith was hired by the University of Kansas to coach basketball, teach physical education, and serve as chaplain.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Pedant – male school teacher. Taming of the Shrew Act III, Scene I Hortension: But, wrangling pedant, this is the patroness of heavenly harmony.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: World Peace: Sounds like a DIY Project --Submitted by Veterans For Peace
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck hiding Scooby treats in the covers in the case of the Hibernating Himalayan.
Can you explain again how a prince is better than a talking frog? / When the wolf became vegetarian he began to menace three little figs.
..........Ooh, those crimson rays of ruby bright..........Bette Midler …..Red
^^^^^ At the 1936 Summer Olympic Games, the first year basketball was included in the competition, Naismith was in Berlin to present medals to the winning teams of the three North American countries: United States, gold; Canada, silver; and Mexico, bronze. While there he was named honorary president of the International Basketball Federation.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: All I want for Christmas is the abolition of imperialist, white, supremacist, capitalist hetero-patriarchy. --Submitted by mj of ks
Month of the Week: December is Youngsters On The Air Month --You know you have Ham Radio Issues when you get to school and wonder whether you unplugged the soldering iron.
Most Beautiful Thing in the State: Lake Winnipesaukee, New Hampshire --Dotted with 258 islands, Lake Winnipesaukee's 72 square miles make up the centerpiece of the regions natural beauty. Lake and mountain views set the backdrop for relaxing days spent strolling around charming lakeside villages, sightseeing, enjoying unique attractions and just about every form of recreation you can think of. http://www.lakewinnipesaukee.info/
Today's Peace of History, December 1, 1966: Comedian Dick Gregory was convicted in Olympia, WA for his participation in a Nisqually Native American fishing rights protest.
Why didn't Rapunzel find a boyfriend with a ladder, would have saved a lot on muddy shampoos. / Finderella was looked after by her fairy codmother.
..........Stay out of danger 'till I return.........Lou Rawls …..Let's Burn Down the Cornfield
Masthead of the Week: eMperor's nEw ePistle, December 1, 2017. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Peace and Happily Ever Afters. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS 66046
Moonbeam: It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. --Woody Allen
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pocahontas is Republican Code Talk for “I am a racist”. --submitted by sd of ks
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 11/30/17: $790,845,079,828.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 11/16/17: $790,168,711,290.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 11/30/17: $821,045,488,004.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 11/16/17: $821,025,721,385.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 11/30/17: $1,801,353,896,904.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 11/16/17: $1,799,941,406,752.
These are the real questions? I must trust that the bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits. – Henri Nouwen
..........And one last thing..........Bette Midler …..Favorite Waste of Time
Be home by midnight, Cinderella, your carriage insurance doesn't cover pumpkins or mice. / What's beautiful and gray and wears glass slippers? Cinderellephant
Famous Last Words: A hundred million miracles are happening every day. --Flower Drum Song
May Peace pervade your plot
And Joy write your ending
prairie mama
christine



Last Laugh
 

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