Friday, August 5, 2016

eStery ePistle

Famous First Words:  Blerot had been my most intimate friend...  Guy de Maupassant  A Philosopher
Happy International Beer Day!  Remember, beer doesn't have many nutrients, so you have to drink a lot of it. / Beer! Now there is a temporary solution.
..........It makes me a jolly good fellow.........Tom T Hall  .....I Like Beer
Grace and peace be yours in abundance. --Peter (II Peter 1:2)
It is a cloudy Friday morning.  75°F makes it a fine day.  The sky is a solid light gray with clumps of slightly darker gray floating under it and tiny wisps of even grayer fluff here and there.  The occasional breeze wafts smells of freshly mown lawns and summer flowers.  There is a new fountain in the backyard that spills water over large stones and sounds a wonderful rhythm section to the birdsong around the feeders.  Even Puck sitting on the deck is silent and listening.  The tree I am standing under is dropping seedpods onto my arms and hair.  I keep hoping it is rain.  Ah, the trash trucks have arrived and birdsong and the splashing water disappear and we return to the indoors, to freshly brewed decaf, and  to thoughts of you.
Hope your weekend is bathed in foamy goodness, ePistliers.
It is true that beer won't solve your problems, but then again, neither will milk. / Beer: because we're Lutheran.
..........Wanna tell you a story about the house rent blues.........George Thorogood & the Destroyers  .....One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, American Bandstand !
^ Any idea what eastern city spawned Bandstand and nurtured it until it went national?
^^ Which singer of "Diana" was the first performer on the national show?
^^^ Which singing duo then calling themselves Tom & Jerry debuted in 58 with "Hey! Little Schoolgirl"?
^^^^ Who was the first and only co-host of Bandstand? Hint: It was for the disco special.
^^^^^When did the last Bandstand air?
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Only 4% of library event photos posted on Facebook are in focus.   https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Moonbeam: It's only very recently that women have succeeded in entering those professions which, as Muses, they typified for the Greeks.  --Mary R. Beard
Warning: Consuming large quantities of beer may cause uncontrollable muscle spasms masquerading as dancing. / Save Water, Drink Beer.
..........Last night I walked the floor.........Hank Williams  .....There's a Tear in My Beer
Something to Think About of the Week: Obviously, there are differences between walking meditation and sitting meditation.  For one thing we keep our eyes open during walking meditation.  We have to be aware of things outside ourselves (objects we might trip over, other people that we might walk into)...wind, the sun, and the rain; and the sounds of nature and of humans and machines.  http://www.wildmind.org/walking/overview
Big Hello: Ola - Galician (Northern Spain)
Week of the Week: The National Hobo Convention begins on the 11th in Britt, IA.  This is the hobo recipe for Mulligan of Happiness: Take a large bowl, fill it with sunshine. Add a bit of patience, faith and kindness. Sift a cup of romance with a teaspoon of sympathy, a teaspoon of forgiveness, moisten with a teardrop, adding tolerance, friendship along with ambition. Mix well with stardust, fold in imagination, place in a heavenly blue pan, bake well with the light of God's candle. Serve every day and it will bring you a mulligan of Happiness.  http://www.brittiowa.com/hobo/logo-symbols.htm
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My brother has been replacing family photos with pics of Steve Buscemi and my mom hasn't noticed.  --submitted by ar of ks
Peace Joke of the Week:

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"  The bartender replies, "For you, no charge. / I don't drink beer anymore.  Of course, I don't drink beer any less either.
.......... The crowd gets loud when the band gets right.........ZZ Top  .....Beer Drinkers & Hell Raisers
^ The Philadelphia dance show "Bandstand," hosted by Bob Horn, debuted on WFIL-TV.  The DJ actually playing the records was a NY transplant named Dick Clark.
Almanac:  It is Friday, August 5, 2016.  The moon was new on Tuesday and is in Virgo.  It is National Oyster Day and National Underwear Day. In Iran it is Constitution Day and worldwide it is Test Ban Day (Int'l Physicians for Prevention of Nuclear War).  Because it is the first Friday in August it is also Braham Pie Day aka Homemade Pie Day, International Beer Day, and Tomboy Tools Day. 
Among those born on this day were John Eliot (1604), William (the first black child born in the English New World, 1624), Thomas Lynch (1749), Guy de Maupassant (1850), Mary R. Beard (1876), Conrad Aiken (1899), John Huston (1906), Selma Diamond (1920), Richard Kleindienst (1923), Neil Armstrong (1930), John Saxon (1935), Loni Anderson (1944), Rick Derringer (1947), and Kevin Thomas Riley (2180).
On August fifth Gilbert claimed Newfoundland (1583), the first Spanish ship entered SF Bay (1775), the first transatlantic telegraph cable was completed (1858), US Army abolished flogging (1861), the US levied the first income tax (3% of income over $800, 1864), the cornerstone was laid for the Statue of Liberty (1884), the first traffic light was installed (Cleveland, 1914), the first radio broadcast of a baseball game aired (Priates-8, Phillies-0, 1921), Little Orphan Annie debuted (1924), American Bandstand premiered (1957), the first quasar was located by radio (1962), Mel Brooks married Anne Bancroft (1964), Mariner 7 flew past Mars (1969), the USSR launched Mars6 (1973), and Reagan fired 11,500 air traffic controllers (1981).
Tonight's Sky: Venus-Regulus conjunction. Shortly after sunset this evening and tomorrow evening, Regulus is hardly more than 1° from much brighter Venus.  August Planets: Morning: Uranus and Neptune / Dusk: Mercury and Venus / Evening: Mars, Jupiter, Saturn.
This Week: Saturday, August 6 - International Hangover Day
 It is the 71st anniversary of the bombing of Hiroshima.  Many cities have vigils on this day or this weekend.  Check the progressive calendar for your city. ~~Lawrence, KS - 6th of August at noon on the corner of 9th & Massachusetts.
Tonight's Sky, August 6: Today is the midpoint of astronomical summer: halfway between the June solstice and the September equinox (even though August 1st, Lammas Day, is generally celebrated as the "cross-quarter" day). The exact midpoint of summer is at 2:28 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time (18:28 UT).
Sunday, August 7 - Lighthouse Day & Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day
Birthday of Wallace (of & Gromit) no year mentioned
Monday, August 8 - Happiness Happens Day & International Cat Day
Birthday of Samuel Beckett (Quantum Leap) 1953
Tuesday, August 9 - Veep Day & International Day of the World's Indigenous People
Birthday of Philip J. Fry (Futurama) 1974
Wednesday, August 10 - Skyscraper Appreciation Day & S'mores Day
Thursday, August 11 - Presidential Joke Day
Birthday of Ginny Weasley (Harry Potter)
Tonight's Sky, August 11: Perseids meteor shower producing up to 60 meteors per hours. After midnight vest viewing.
It was faster than the speed of light beer.  / Give a man a beer, he'll waste an hour.  Teach a man to brew, he'll waste a lifetime.
..........A draw one, draw two, draw three, four glasses of beer.........The Blues Brothers  .....Hey Bartender
^^ Paul Anka was the first performer to make his national TV appearance on "American Bandstand," on August 7, 1957.
Funniest thing I read of the Week:  Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can straight up cancel.
Quotes of the Week: If you have never been called a defiant, incorrigible, impossible woman...have faith.  There is yet time.  --Clarissa Pinkola Estes
Moonbeam: As soon as anyone starts telling you to be "realistic," cross that person off your invitation list.  --John Eliot
Science Fiction Convention of the Week Mythcon 47: San Antonia, TX, August 5-8: Mythopoeic Conference  http://www.mythsoc.org/mythcon/mythcon-47.htm

Late Night Snacks: Scientists from Indiana discovered that an 8-year-old orangutan named Rocky who can mimic human voices and copy words in a conversational way. But it got awkward when the first thing he said was, "Actually, my name's Ricky.”  --Jimmy Fallon / The US Patent Office has rejected Whole Foods' request to be called "the world’s healthiest grocery store." However, they approved 7-Eleven’s request to be called "the world’s finest antique foods dealer." --Conan O'Brien / History has been made. After months of anticipation, Jo Jo has cut it down to just two remaining bachelors. These are exciting times. Oh, and also, Hillary Clinton received the Democratic nomination. --James Corden / New York was hit with a large thunderstorm last night, which caused enough rain to create temporary waterfalls in some subway stations. It’s the closest New Yorkers have ever come to seeing nature. --Seth Meyers
World peace is no longer some pie-in-the-sky thing, because no single person or country is going to solve it on their own.  --Herbie Hancock
Beer goes through your system so fast because it doesn't have to stop and change color. / Everyone needs to believe in something.  I believe I'll have another beer.
..........I just take a little bit,, now an' then.........Albert Collins  .....I Ain't Drunk, I'm Just Drinkin'
^^^ Using the name Tom & Jerry (Art Garfunkel naming himself Tom Graph, a reference to his interest in mathematics, and Paul Simon naming himself Jerry Landis after the surname of Sue Landis, a girl he had dated), they sang Hey Schoolgirl.
Worthless Not So Facty Facts of the Week: Two different gentlemen are credited with inventing the traffic light.  Garrett Morgan b. 1877 businessman of Cleveland and J.P Knight, railway engineer b. 1828.  Both were black so it's not a case of a white guy getting the credit for a black man's work. 
Weird Word of the Week: Scobberlotcher - Dr. Ralph Kettel, describing students at Trinity College  ...sober, but went idling about the grove with their hands in their pockets and telling the number of the trees there or so.  (1600s)  http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-sco3.htmhttp://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-sco3.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Rejuvenate dry skin.  Lubricate with Star Olive Oil.  http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/star.html
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Our government makes the Chicago Mob look like first grade drop outs.  --#DEMEXIT

...........Out of focus, much too bright..........Beck  .....Beercan
^^^^ Donna Summer became the first and only co-host of American Bandstand during a special disco show celebrating the release of Donna's new film, Thank God It's Friday.
Word Shakespeare Made Up of the Week: Blanket - to cover or obscure with an extended covering.  King Lear Act II Scene III (Edgar)
Daughter of Weird Word of the Week: coddiwomple (v.) to travel in a purposeful manner towards a vague destination.  Submitted by rhb of ks
Fake Animal Fact of the Week: Polar bears like to dress up as Judy Garland at the weekend.  https://fakeanimalfacts.wordpress.com/page/2/
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck cleverly hiding the field hockey ball under his tail in the case of Jack's Russell Terriers.
A 2006 study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.  Another recent study found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.  That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles per gallon.
..........full of heartache and foam.........Popa Chubby  .....Sweet Goddess of Love and Beer
^^^^^ American Bandstand made it last broadcast on October 7, 1989.
Month of the Week: August is National Read a Romance Month  --I gently slid her panties to the side so that I could fit the rest of her socks in the drawer.
Famous Kansans: Janet Murguia, president of the National Council of La Raza, was born in Kansas City in 1954.  http://www.nclr.org/about-us/president-and-ceo/
Third Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Schrodinger's Immigrant: Simultaneously stealing your job and too lazy to work.  --Submitted by rhb of ks
Today's Peace of History: Today's Peace of History August 5, 1963:  The US, USSR, and the UK signed the Limited Test Ban Treaty in Moscow, banning nuclear testing in the atmosphere, in space, or underwater.  It has since been signed by more than 100 countries.
God made beer so that the Irish would not take over the world. / Beer is proof the god loves us and wants us to be happy.
..........Before I lose my self control.........Shelly West  .....Somebody Buy This Cowgirl a Beer
Masthead of the Week:   fRiday ePistle August 5, 2016.  Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/  The Serene Side of Humor. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith.  1800 Goodell Ct. Lawrence, KS  66046
Moonbeam: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.  -- Neil Armstrong
Cost of War:
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 8/4/16: $744,420,365,793.
Tax dollars spent in Afghanistan: as of 7/28/16: $743,739,755,410.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 8/4/16: $819,668,778,337.
Tax dollars spent on the Iraq war since 2001 as of 7/28/16: $819,668,778,337.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 8/4/16: $10,793,066,887.
Tax dollars spent on Daesh conflict as of 7/28/16: $10,688,479,612.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 8/4/16: $126,249,028,473.
Tax dollars spent on the Pentagon Slush Fund as of 7/28/16: $125,667,069,411.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 8/4/16: $1,702,980,921,578.
Tax dollars spent on all wars since 2001 as of 7/28/16: $1,704,402,171,886  .
My passion stems from seeking world peace and finding how we can live together creatively rather than violently.  --Mimi Kennedy
..........ein zwei drei vier.........Raymond Marlowe  .....Drinking Song from The Student Prince
Three guys are riding in their truck, drinking beer, having a good ol' time.  The driver looks in the mirror and sees the flashing lights of a police car so he pulls over. The other two are real nervous, "What do we do with our beers? We're in trouble!" "No," the driver says, "just do this: pull the label off of your beer bottle and stick it to your forehead and let me do the talking." So they all pull the labels off their beer bottles and stick 'em to their foreheads.  The policeman walks up and says, "You boys were swerving down the road. Have you been drinking?" The driver says, "Oh, no officer," and points to his forehead, "we're on the patch, trying to quit."
Famous Last Words: a perfect fit.  National Underwear Day website
May Peace grind your grist
And Joy work your wort
prairie mama
christine

Absolutely the final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Honk if you think Concerto No. 1 in D Minor by Johannes Brahms blows away J.S. Bach's Brandenburg Concerto No. 6 in F-Flat Major.  (bumper sticker)  --Submitted by sj of ks


   ...sorry, i couldn't help myself

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