Famous
First Words: Neither
slavery nor involuntary servitude... 13th
Amendment to the
US Constitution
Happy
Birthday, Stephen! Every morning I get up and make instant coffee and
I drink it so I have the energy to make real coffee. /
"Woke up this morning and folded my bed back into a couch.
Almost broke both my arms cause it’s not that kind of bed
--Stephen Wright
..........Don't
be a naughty baby..........Ira Gershwin …..Embraceable You
I
would fight for my liberty so long as my strength lasted. --Harriet
Tubman
It
is a clear, cold (32°) Friday morning. Wisps of stringy clouds fly
south through a sunny sky. The stiff breeze also bites the cheek and
the nose with wintery cold. A flock of ducks or geese, I cannot tell
which, are flying due north silently, flying into the wind. Puck
barks at squirrels or perhaps the idea of squirrels since the tree
seems to contain none. Then he barks at a leaf blowing along the
street and next a piece of paper caught between the fence and the
grass flapping with a papery noise. The world is brown and golden,
trees are devoid of leaves, and flower beds look dead and sad. But
the sun is shining brightly warming the cold wherever it can. The
smell of cars and evergreens greet the nose as we walk
along...preparing us for winter and for yuletide celebrations. We
return home before when our walk turns us north into the wind. We
return to a warm room lit by the sun poking itself through windows,
past blinds, around shades and filling it with shiny shadows and tiny
rainbows. In the midst of these I sit, breathing in delicious
smelling steam and sipping my sweetened, creamed coffee; oh, yes, and
writing to you. What more could I ask of a winter's day?
Hope
your weekend breaks all fun records, ePistliers.
I’m
going to get a tattoo over my whole body of me but taller. / I
went to a tourist information booth and said 'Tell me about some
people who were here last year.' --Stephen Wright
..........The
memory of all that..........Ira Gershwin …..They Can't Take That
Away From Me
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday to the Encyclopedia Britannica !!
^
Where was the Encyclopedia Britannica first published?
^^
What qualities were credited to the first edition in contemporary
advertisement?
^^^
About how big was the first edition of the encyclopedia?
^^^^
And how big was the latest edition?
^^^^^
Any idea what number the latest edition is or when it came out?
Funniest
Thing I Read of the Week: I may not have
the best body but it sure does hold all my organs in place.
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
24%
of reference questions this week will be patrons looking for rare
diseases they can claim to have to avoid visiting family over the
holidays. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
I’ve
been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight. The people who
live above me are furious. / Why is it a penny for your thoughts but
you have to put your two cents in? Somebody’s making a penny.
--Stephen Wright
..........You've
got me on the go..........Ira Gershwin …..Fascinating Rhythm
Moonbeam:
But only God can make a tree. --Joyce Kilmer
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: Oyster Shell
Big
Hello: Copoдэ –
Ulch (Siberia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: All
pets are therapy pets. Most are just working undercover.
--Submitted by ag of ks
Week
of the Week: Recipe Greetings for the
Holidays Week (1-7) --I
used to know a guy who absolutely loved hollandaise sauce. He would
buy the spiciest brand he could find and would put it on just about
everything. Well it turned out that because he used the spicy sauce
so much, it started to wear down a hole on the roof of his mouth. He
went to a doctor and asked what he could do about it. The doctor
looks at the damage and determines that the man will need a metal
plate placed at the roof of his mouth. The man is relieved but can't
help asking the doctor if he will still be able to enjoy his
hollandaise sauce. The doctor reassures the man that his new plate
will be made of chrome. “Don't worry, there's no plate like chrome
for the hollandaise."
I
got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything
because he’s not sure what I threw him. / I broke a mirror in my
house and I’m supposed to get seven years bad luck, but my lawyer
thinks he can get me five. --Stephen Wright
..........I'm
a little lamb who's lost in the wood..........Ira Gershwin
…..Someone To Watch Over Me
^
The
first edition of the Encyclopædia
Britannica
was
published and printed in Edinburgh for the engraver Andrew
Bell
and
the printer Colin
Macfarquhar
by
“a society of gentlemen in Scotland” and was sold by Macfarquhar
at his printing office on Nicolson Street.
Almanac:
It is Friday, December 6, 2019. The moon was first quarter on
Wednesday and is in Aries. It is Miner's Day, Mitten
Tree Day, National Gazpacho Day, National Pawnbrokers Day, National
Salesperson Day, and St. Nicholas Day. In Bahrain
it is Ruler's Ascension Day; in Ecuador it is Day of Quito (1534),
and Finland celebrates Independence Day (1917). Because it is first
Friday it is also Faux Fur Friday.
Among
those born on this day were Henry VI (1421), John Eberhard (1822),
William S. Hart (1870), Joyce Kilmer (1886), Lynn Fontanne (1887),
Ira Gershwin (1896), Agnes Moorehead (1906), Dave Brubeck (1920),
Wally Cox (1924), JoBeth Williams (1948), and Steven Wright (1955).
On
December sixth Quito, Ecuador was
founded (1534), the first edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica was
published (1768), Schumann's Fourth
Symphony in D premiered
(1841), the thirteenth Amendment was ratified abolishing slavery
(1865), the first US crematorium began operation (1876), Edison made
the first sound recording (1877), the first constitution of Irish
Free State came into operation (1922), the first electric line
carried power (1922), Gerald Ford became the first unelected
vice-president (1973), Robert Dole married Elizabeth Hanford (1975),
Star Trek VI - The Undiscovered
Country
premiered (1991), and the Maltese Falcon was auctioned for $398,500
(1994).
Night
Sky, 12/6:
The
Moon shines lower left of the Great Square of Pegasus.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Max the referee signaling a seahawk's touchdown ~~In case you don't
recognize the city, they're in Seattle
This
Week: Saturday, December 7 –
International Civil Aviation Day & National Rhubarb Bodka Day &
Bartender Appreciation Day
Sunday,
December 8 – AFL-CIO Day & National Day of Lard &
Pretend To Be A Time Traveler Day
Night
Sky, 12/8: Orion fully clears the eastern
horizon by about 8 pm now, depending on how far east or west you live
in your time zone. High above Orion shines orange Aldebaran. Above
Aldebaran is the little Pleiades cluster, the size of your fingertip
at arm's length.
Monday,
December 9 – Green Monday & International
Anti-Corruption Day
Tuesday,
December 10 – Jane Addams Day & Human Rights Day &
Nobel Prize Day
Night
Sky, 12/10: Mercury and Mars are visible in the early dawn.
Wednesday,
December 11 – Kaleidoscope Day & National Sobriety Day &
UNICEF's Birthday
Thursday,
December 12 – National Ding-a-Ling Day & National Lost
Day & Poinsettia Day
When
I get real real bored I like to drive downtown and get a great
parking spot then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if
I’m leaving. / I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he’s
gone. --Stephen Wright
..........I
got no car, got no mule, got no misery..........Ira Gershwin …..I
Got Plenty of Nothing
^^
The Edinburgh Evening
Courant carried
an advertisement that pledged the encyclopædia would provide
“ACCURATE DEFINITIONS and EXPLANATIONS, of all the Terms as they
occur in the Order of the Alphabet.”
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Seven swans to rule them
all, Six geese to find them, Five rings to bring them all, And in the
pear tree bind them. --submitted by gr of oh
Moonbeam:
We can be bought, but we can't be bored. --Lynn Fontanne
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: The Justice
Department released over 300 pages of notes and memos from the
investigation that reveal former New Jersey governor Chris Christie
dined with Trump on Valentine’s Day 2017, an occasion where Trump
remarked, “Now that we fired Michael Flynn, the Russia thing is
over.” Today, Team Trump got a visit from the ghost of
investigations past. I don’t know which is more embarrassing: the
fact that Trump thought he was in the clear in 2017, or that Donald
Trump and Chris Christie spent Valentine’s Day together, I wonder
who picked up that dinner tab. --Jimmy Kimmel / I’m not going to
let people take advantage of American companies, because if anyone is
going to take advantage of American companies, it’s gonna be
us.--Trump ... How dare you take advantage of American companies –
that’s what I was gonna do. He’s like the world’s worst
superhero; he’ll like stop a mugger who’s robbing an old lady,
but only so he can fly off with her purse. In response to the French
taxes, Trump is now threatening to tax “all the most cliched French
goods like wine, cheese, and handbags. He was probably also going to
tax French fries and mistresses, but that hit too close to home.
--Trevor Noah
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week: March
Madness is the busiest time at Buffalo Wild Wings, right? So the
restaurant is always looking for ways to make the customers'
experience even more enjoyable, including which of these? A, they set
up booths with sports bookies to help you draw up your brackets; B,
an onsite therapist for those suffering from actual clinical March
Madness or C, the jewel stool, a cooled bar stool for men who got
vasectomies so they could skip work and watch more games. --Peter
Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me
11/29/19 ~~The answer was C, by the way
I've
heard 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' read, and I tell you Mrs. Stowe's pen
hasn't begun to paint what slavery is as I have seen it at the far
South. I've seen de real thing, and I don't want to see it on no
stage or in no theater. --Harriet Tubman
I’m
writing a book. I have the page numbers done; now I just have to fill
in the rest. / When we were driving over the border back into the
United States, they asked me if I had any firearms. I said what do
you need? --Stephen Wright
..........'S
awful nice, 's paradise..........Ira Gershwin …..S'Wonderful
^^^
The
parts were bound in three stout quarto volumes of some 2,500 pages,
with 160 copperplate engravings by Bell. --The first Encyclopedia
Britannica
Worthless
Fact of the Week: The
first modern crematory in the US was built in 1876 in Pennsylvania by
Francis Julius LeMoyne after hearing about its use in Europe. During
that time it was thought that people were getting sick by attending
funerals of those recently deceased and that decomposing bodies were
leaking into the water systems.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
can't remember the last time anyone, let alone a president of the
United States, was laughed off a continent. --George Conway
--Submitted by pj of ks
Weird
Word of the Week:
Tolfraedic – goods sold by number often containing more than the
nominal total – the baker's dozen of 13, for instance.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-tol2.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Make a walker glide more easily. Cut a hole in two Wilson Tennis
Balls and fit them on the back feet of the walker.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wilson.html
I've
written several children's books ... Not on purpose. / I called the
wrong number today. I said 'Hello, is Joey there?' A woman answered
and she said 'Yes he is.' And I said ‘Can I speak to him please?’
She said ‘No, he can’t talk right now, he’s only two months
old.' I said 'Alright, I’ll wait.' --Stephen Wright
...........The
things that you're liable to read in the Bible..........Ira Gershwin
…..Ain't Necessarily So
^^^^
The 2010 version of the encyclopedia spans 32 volumes
and 32,640 pages.
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: After
Black Friday comes Cyber Monday followed by Buyer's Remorse Tuesday
and Hiding from Creditors Wednesday.
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
SMOFCon 37 (6-8, Albuquerque, NM) ...All Left Turns: Making the
Right Plans http://www.smofcon37.com/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
TeVPA 2019 – TeV Particle Astrophysics (2-6, Sydney) Cosmic rays,
cosmology, dark matter, and much
more...https://conference-service.com/conferences/gravitation-and-cosmology.html
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's Puck's sidekick Justice, with her sidekick Dashiell, disguised
as an elf in the case of the Elf
Dogs.
I
went to a place to eat. It said 'breakfast at any time.' So I ordered
French Toast during the Renaissance. / We lived in a house that ran
on static electricity. If we wanted to cook something, we had to take
a sweater off real quick. If we wanted to run a blender we had to rub
balloons on our heads. --Stephen Wright
..........I
am so awfully misunderstood..........Ira Gershwin …..Lady Be Good
^^^^^
The 2010 edition of Encyclopedia Britannica was the 15th
and was the last printed edition.
Month
of the Week: December is National Pear
Month – Fruits do go to heaven – it's the one with the Pearly
gates. / What lives in pears and is an avid reader? A Boscworm
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: May
the last month of your 2019 be the plot twist you have been waiting
for. --Submitted by ks of co
Grammar
Joke of the Week: Yes, it is true, graduate students in
English do play pin the apostrophe on the ITS at parties.
Today's
Peace of History,
December 6, 1849: Harriet Tubman, a
slave in Maryland, escaped her owners.
It's
a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. / I almost broke both
my arms trying to hold open a revolving door for a woman. --Stephen
Wright
..........Potato,
potahto, tomato, tomahto..........Ira Gershwin …..Let's Call the
Whole Thing Off
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle December 6, 2019, ePistlewright. Peace and Laughs ala
Wright. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS
66047
Moonbeam:
Slavery is the next thing to hell. --Harriet Tubman
Cost
of War:
As
of 12/5/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,981,478,932,284.
As
of 11/28/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,979,588,145,326.
As
of 12/5/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $935,558,407,194.
As
of 11/28/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $934,273,430,895.
As
of 12/5/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $725,787,645,796.
As
of 11/28/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $724,172,195,558.
As
of 12/5/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $320,588,087,659.
As
of 11/28/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $320,220,931,867.
As
of 12/5/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,963,413,692,399.
As
of 11/28/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,958,255,350,079.
Quakers
almost as good as colored. They call themselves friends and you can
trust them every time. --Harriet Tubman
..........And
you can get it if you try..........Ira Gershwin …..Nice Work If
You Can Get It
I
stayed up one night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full
house and four people died. / I was Caesarean born. Can’t really
tell, although whenever I leave a house I go through the window..
--Stephen Wright
Famous
Last Words: ...shall
be ratified by the necessary legislation.
Constitution of Irish Free State
May
Peace bring you gold
And
Joy bring you diamonds
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
