mOm's ePistle

Famous First Words: Whereas, By a joint proclamation... Wilson's Declaration creating Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day. It's not easy being a mom. It if was easy, fathers would do it. --Betty White Ӫ Today we honor cooks, nurses, chauffeurs, counselors, teachers, aids, and referees. In other words...moms.

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: If you're going to make a parachute jump, how high should you be? Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Submitted by jo of ks

..........It's time ole Hank paid his due.........Hank Snow …..Breakfast With The Blues

There is no separation. We are all from the same place. As long as there is respect and acknowledgement of connection things continue working. When that stops we all die. --Joy Harjo

It is a gorgeous (59°F) Friday morning. The sun is shining in an azure sky with no clouds. There is no wind to speak of and even the willow branches have switched to slow dancing. Foliage is green and growing; my hollyhock leaves are the size of Sally Rand's fans. The resident bunny rabbit is no longer hidden against the brown grass, but is quite visible munching away at the green lawn. Birds are chattering about their day. Puck stayed a while outside before returning for his early morning nap which is accompanied by tiny snorts. Veronica put in an appearance and disappeared. I lit up a cone of incense to add a bit of fragrance to the room. Now I sip my cup of toasted almond decaf. All in all a great day to write to you.

Hope your weekend is full and fine, children – new and old

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The universal language is not math. It's the exaggerated shrug. --Submitted by 42 Collective

Motherhood Inc, Human Resources: One vacation day a year? That's all I get? We call it Mother's Day but technically you still have to work. Ӫ If you want your children to call you on Mother's Day, try posting something embarrassing about them on instagram. ₿ Usually, the triumph of my day is, you know, everybody making it to the potty. --Julia Roberts

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: Do female frogs croak? Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

..........I've breathed the mountain, air, man.........Hank Snow …..I've Been Everywhere

Trivia Questions: Happy Alphabet Magnet Day!

1) Why were alphabet magnets invented?

2) Who invented them?

3) When were alphabet magnets first sold to the public?

4) Can you wash alphabet magnets?

5) In what year was the Alphabet Magnet Day first celebrated?

Big Hello: Bona die – Sardinian (Logudorese) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When the horse comes back into town without the rider, you know something bad happened. But no one ever suspects the horse. --Bob Pease

Image of the Week: Puck: Morning Nap With Blanket

Insult of the Week: If I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on. --Mark Twain The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

What do I wanna do for Mother's Day? Well, something with the kids, for sure and then for the love of God something alone, please. Ӫ Stripped of her youth, her energy, her money, she quietly reflects on the joys of motherhood. ₿ Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I'm looking forward to investigating in the future. --Amy Poehler

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

..........You were flyin' too high for my little old sky.........Hank Snow …..I'm Movin' On

Moonbeam: The path to paradise begins in hell. --Dante Alighieri

Blasphemy of the Week: When God looks down and sees how we're acting, does He say “Medamnit!”?https://www.facebook.com/PatheticHilarious

Coffee Joke of the Week: I made my coffee with Red Bull this morning. Then I left for work and 15 minutes later, I realized I forgot the car.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Guide was recently updated to include: “If confused, nap.” --Submitted by 42 Collective

I'm sorry about all those dumb little things I did when I was a kid. Just be thankful you only know about half of them Ӫ When my children told me they were going to make breakfast for me on Mother's Day, we conducted an impromptu course on using the fire extinguisher. ₿ The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kids didn't finish. --Carrie Underwood

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a strange man at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

..........Everybody look what's going down.........Buffalo Springfield with Richie Furay …..For What It's Worth

1) Although traditionally, we might think of a magnet letter as a children's toy, the first known magnet letters were actually created for the space industry. NASA needed magnetic letters and numbers for charting and tracking inside spacecraft.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 9, 2025. The moon will be full (Flower) on Monday (5/12) and it is in Libra. Today is Alphabet Magnet Day, Europe Day, Home Front Heroes Day, National Moscato Day, and National Sleepover Day. Because it's the second Friday it is also Fintastic Friday: Giving Sharks a Voice. And because it is the Friday before Mother's Day it is Child Care Provider Day, Military Spouse Appreciation Day, National Public Gardens Day, and National Provider Appreciation Day.

Among those born on this day were Dante Alighieri (1265), Abraham van Diepenbeeck (1675), Giovanni Paisiello (1740), Gaspard Monge (1746), James Pollard Espy (1785), John Brown (1800), J M Barrie (1860), Howard Carter (1874), (Clarence) Hank Snow (1914), Mike Wallace (1918), Daniel Berrigan (1921), Glenda Jackson (1936), Richie Furay (1944), Billy Joel (1949), Joy Harjo (1951), and John Corbett (1962).

On May ninth the Treaty of Windsor was ratified (Portugal & England, 1386), Columbus left Cadiz on this final trip (1502), the first newspaper political cartoon was published (1754), the American Civil War ended (1865), FYI: the North won), President Wilson proclaimed the first Mother's Day (1914), the world's first Eye Bank opened in NYC (1944), Hermann Goering was captured by US (1945), Peace Settlement (Philippines & Japan, 1956), and the final episode of Golden Girls aired (NBC, 1992).

Night Sky, 5/9: Three zero-magnitude stars shine after dark in May: Arcturus high in the southeast, Vega much lower in the northeast, and Capella in the northwest. They appear so bright because each is at least 60 times as luminous as the Sun and because they're all relatively nearby: 37, 25, and 42 light-years from us, respectively. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: They're at it again. 5/3/25 I Poulsbo, WA

This Week: Saturday, May 10 – Clean Your Room Day & Letter Carriers Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive Day

Sunday, May 11 – Eat What You Want Day & Mother's Day & Mother's At The Wall Day

Night Sky, 5/11: What is the oldest thing you have ever seen? For everyone in the world it's at least the Sun and other objects of the solar system; Earth is 4.6 billion years old. (Everything on or just under Earth's surface is much younger.) Next is Arcturus, which most people have surely seen whether they know it or not, since it's one of the brightest stars in the sky. It's a Population II orange giant, which is about 7 billion years old, just passing through our region of the Milky Way.

Monday, May 12 – Buddha Day & Day of Vesak (May Full Moon) & Limerick Day & Odometer Day

Tuesday, May 13 – American Indian Day & Indigenous Arts Day & World Cocktail Day

Wednesday, May 14 – National Chicken Dance Day & National Night Shift/Third Shift Workers Day & Underground America Day

Night Sky, 5/14: Uranus is lost in the sunset. Neptune, a mere 8th magnitude, lurks hidden in the dawn in the background of Venus and Saturn.

Thursday, May 15 – Straw Hat Day & Nylon Stockings Day & Peace Officer Memorial Day & Lag B'Omer

There is a legend that if you're taking a bath and scream out loud “Mom” three times, a nice lady appears bringing you the towel you forgot. Ӫ The week before Mother's Day my optometrist offers free exam for eyes in the back of your head. ₿ I always say if your aren't yelling at your kinds, you're not spending enough time with them. --Reese Witherspoon

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you grow older? Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

..........We are only what we feel.........Buffalo Springfield with Richie Furay …..On The Way Home

2) Sam Hardcastle invented the fully magnetic, flexible letters and numbers that became the first rendition of alphabet magnets and space ship aids.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Happy Mother's Day to all the teachers accidentally called Mom once. --Submitted by High Church Coyote

Moonbeam: I cannot remember a night so dark as to have hindered the coming day. --John Brown

Fun Fact of the Week: The Treaty of Windsor is a diplomatic alliance signed between Portugal and England on 9 May 1386 in Windsor and sealed by the marriage of King John I of Portugal to Philippa of Lancaster, daughter of John of Gaunt, 1st Duke of Lancaster.

Video of the Week: Obituary for Father Daniel Berrigan (:20) https://youtu.be/WnVFOZ7WP9E

True power does not amass through the pain and suffering of others. --Joy Harjo

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

Never ask Batman what he's doing for Mother's Day. Ӫ Dear Mom, I was gonna give you an all expense paid, first-class trip to Hawaii for Mother's Day. But I knew how much you'd miss me, and I just couldn't put you through that kind of agony. ₿ The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. --Calvin Trillin

..........In time, you know my melody will haunt you.........Poco with Richie Furay …..You Better Think Twice

3) On May 9, 1972, Fisher-Price released a toy known as School Desk Days, which included the colorful, hard plastic magnetic numbers and letters. Later in the 70s they began to sell and market their Magnetic Alphabet toy separately.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I knocked over a plant in the kitchen and my cat saw me...So I had to spray myself with water to prove the law applies to everyone. https://www.facebook.com/churchmouseuk

Weird Word of the Week: Fewmet (also fewmishings) excrement or droppings from an animal hunted for game. https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-few1.html

Dragon of the Week: Quetzalcoatl

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean hairspray build-up from a curling iron. Use a damp, soft clean cloth to rub a few drops of Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo on a cool, unplugged curling iron. Rinse clean and dry. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

My kids gave me a blanket for Mother's Day because I'm such a cool mom. Ӫ Cleaning with children in the house is like brushing your teeth with Oreos. ₿ Become a mom to mean means you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse. --Nia Vardalos

...........Tonight I'm gonna break away.........Poco with Richie Furay …..Crazy Love

4) To clean a magnet, you can wipe it with a clean cloth and warm, soapy water.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: For too long, we've all suffered the bizarre and oppressive policies I installed last week. --H Lin

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: I couldn't find a single Sci-Fi convention being held this weekend. I think this shows my lack of researching skills and not the state of fandom. So here's a actual science Convention instead: International Conference on Public Health and Epidemiology 9, NYC) https://www.allconferencealert.com/event/1501536

Spark of Joy of the Week: Best Penguin Moments Video (3:00) https://youtu.be/n_J3VpZbYzI

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at a nudist camp. One is politics, what is the other? Paul Lynde: Tape measures

“It's spicy” is universal-mom-speak for “I don't want to share”. Ӫ Mums are always the best flower for Mother's Day. ₿ When my kids become wild and unruly, Iuse a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. --Erma Bombeck

..........Well, we're all in the mood for a melody.........Billy Joel …..Piano Man

(* In 2017 The Type Set Co founded Alphabet Magnet Day.

Protest Sign of the Week: I'm So Angry I Made A Sign

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Worst 100 Days Of My 82 Years. --Submitted by Feminist News

Quote of the Week: Ann Coulter said: “Would it be possible to have a cabinet meeting without the Kim Jong il-style tributes?” I could list a hundred reasons I despise Trump, but agreeing with Ann Coulter definitely cracks the top ten. https://www.facebook.com/reallyamerican

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I guess I'm going to have to bequeath this Equal Pay For Women sign to my granddaughter.

People from Chicago usually hate the Cardinals!

Today's Peace of History: May 9, 1967: In April, World Heavyweight Boxing Champion Muhammad Ali had refused induction into the U.S. Army based on his religious convictions. He claimed, "I ain't got no quarrel with those Vietcong." On this day, following his indictment by 24 hours, he was stripped of his title and his license to fight by the World Boxing Association.

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: In bowling, what's a perfect score? Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy

Motherhood is like a reverse fairy tale. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people. Ӫ I hate it when I waiting for mom to fix supper and I realize I'm mom. ₿ My mother's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. --Buddy Hackett

..........She's ahead of her time.........Billy Joel …..She's Always A Woman

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 9, 2025, Mom's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves. --James M Barrie

Cost of War:

As of 05/08/25 State Department Costs: $264,521,078,217

As of 05/01/25 State Department Costs: $263,957,863,358

As of 05/08/25 Homeland Security: $1,199,031,549,713

As of 05/01/25 Homeland Security: $1,198,430,706,392

As of 05/08/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,297,938,376,924

As of 05/01/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,296,393,325,364

As of 05/08/25 Military Costs: $3,145,156,986,265

As of 05/01/25 Military Costs: $3,143,983,936,719

As of 05/08/25 Veterans Care:$4,263,966,336,497

As of 05/01/25 Veterans Care: $4,252,254,046,719

As of 05/08/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,170,615,810,731

As of 05/01/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,155,033,128,384

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Bless the poets, the workers for justice, the dancers of ceremony, the singers of heartache, the visionaries, all makers and carriers of fresh meaning – We will all make it through, despite politics and wars, despite failures and misunderstandings. There is only love. --Joy Harjo

Famous Last Words: The love which moves the sun and the other stars. --Dante The Divine Comedy

..........They built you a temple and locked you away.........Billy Joel …..Only The Good Die Young

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: Why do Hell's Angels wear leather? Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Beware! There are at least five species that eat their young. Your mom could be one of them. Ӫ If evolution really works how come mothers only have two hands. --Milton Berle

May Peace provide comfort

And Joy supply companionship

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

gRin's ePistle

Famous First Words: Be it enacted... Organic Act of 1890 creating the territory of Oklahoma.

May is National Smile Month. These classic jokes are the funniest according to Reader's Digest. A grandmother is watching her grandson at the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, “Please, God, save my grandson. I beg of you to bring him back.” With that a big wave washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. The grandmother looks up to heaven and said, “He had a hat.”

It's International Harry Potter Day! Harry had to throw out half his potions stash because they had passed their hexpiration date.

..........The whole world smiles with you...........Louis Armstrong …..When You're Smiling

Without freedom of choice, there is no creativity. Without creativity, there is no life. --Dr Benjamin Spock

It is a cloudy Friday morning. The sun is obstructed by big puffy white clouds, and by thin gray clouds, and by passing clouds sailing along on the 13 mph winds. Now and then the world lights up as a thick cloud travels on. The birdsong rises and falls independent of the clouds. The birds, apparently, are pleased with how the day is going so far; singing and flying around. Puck and Veronica have been out and returned for early morning naps. The sounds of the neighborhood awakening and going off to work has just picked up...car doors slamming, motors revving, early prayers to the gods of commerce. The wind cools the 57°F temperature and sets the willow to dancing. The sun filtered through the clouds is subdued and unpredictable. But my coffee is warm and creamy, my dog is asleep on my foot, and I get to write to you. These are all the makings of a great day.

Hope your weekend brings a smile to your face and the faces of those you see, Uśmiech-ers. (Polish for smile{-ers})

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: English is not a language; it's three languages wearing a trench coat pretending to be one. --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief

In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks. God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.” With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains. “That’s true,” says God. “So what happened?” God shrugs. “I didn’t recognize you.” --Submitted by Hank Chawansky

You can find Dumbledore's Army up his sleevey.

..........Somewhere in her smile she knows..........The Beatles …..Something

Trivia Questions: Happy Space Day!

1. What was the first (that we know of) human built object rocketed into space?

2. Who launched Luna 2 which crashed into the moon?

3. Who was the first human in space?

4. The next big space leap was a walk on the moon. What do you know about it?

5. What was the first manufactured item (that we know of) to leave the solar system?

The 5 missions included in today's trivia have been deemed the most important space events by a group which is not NASA. https://www.realshepower.in/top-10-space-exploration-missions/

Big Hello: Saludi – Sardinian (Campidanese) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: April showers bring moderate to severe joint pain. --Submitted by cmp of ks

Image of the Week: Pink Black Hole (NASA)

Insult of the Week: I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result. --Oscar Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest

Every 10 years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. Ten years go by and it’s one monk’s first chance. He thinks for a second before saying, “Food bad.” Ten years later, he says, “Bed hard.” It’s the big day, a decade later. He gives the head monk a long stare and says, “I quit.” “I’m not surprised,” the head monk says. “You’ve been complaining ever since you got here.” —Submitted by Alan Lynch

Nearly Headless Nick was a poorly executed character.

..........It's worth all that's lost........Tim McGraw …..Just To See You Smile

Moonbeam: A great wind is blowing, and that gives you either imagination or a headache. --Catherine the Great

Blasphemy of the Week: There's a gang in my area who recruit new members by threatening them with all kinds of punishments if they don't join. But enough about the church... https://www.facebook.com/groups/903685330166072

Coffee Joke of the Week: I don't know what I'd do without coffee but I figure 25 to life.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Now we know the answer to “Would it kill you to spend five minutes with JD Vance. --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I’ve led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!” —Submitted by Harry Nelson

Harry Potter fans are like “I wanna go to Hogwarts”. The Wardrobe fans are like “I wanna go to Narnia”. Hunger Games fans are like, “No, I'm good”.

..........Life is still worthwhile...........Diana Ross …..Smile

1) 1957 Sputnik 1: Sputnik means “fellow traveler” in Russian. It became the world's first artificial satellite and kickstarted the “space age”.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 2, 2025. The moon will enter the first quarter on Sunday (5/4) and is in Cancer. Today is International Harry Potter Day, Life Insurance Day, Roberts Rule of Order Day, Scurvy Awareness Day, US Capitol Police Day, and World Tuna Day. Because it is the first Friday in May it is also School Lunch Hero Day, International Space Day aka Space Day, and Tuba Day.

Among those born on this day were Catherine II (the Great, 1729), Theodor Herzl (1840), Elijah McCoy (1844), E. E. "Doc" Smith (1890), The Red Baron (1892), Benjamin Spock (1903), Pinky Lee (1907), Theodore Bikel (1924), Larry Gatlin (1948), and Christine Baranski (1952).

On May second the Peace of Vervins between England and Spain was signed (1598), the first Peace of Aken (aka Treaty of Aix-la-Chapelle) was signed (1668), the "Great Covenant" was signed (1703), Xi Ursae Majoris was discovered (1780), the Hippodrome opened in NYC (1853), the first issue of "Good Housekeeping" was published (1885), the Territory of Oklahoma was created (1890), the first science fiction movie was released (A Trip to the Moon, 1902), the Jack Benny Show premiered on radio (1932), Emperor Haile Selassie fled Abyssinia (1936), Moon for the Misbegotten premiered (1947), Cage's Water Music was first performed (1952), Feisal II became king of Iraq (1953), Hussein I became king of Jordan (1953), and the Methodist church disallowed segregation (1956),

Night Sky, 5/2: Look for the Moon forming a gently curving line with Pollux and Castor. Mars looks on from their upper left. Although it's May now, wintry Sirius still twinkles very low in the west-southwest at the end of twilight. It sets soon after. How much longer into the spring can you keep Sirius in view? In other words, what will be its date of "heliacal setting" as seen by you? http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max & Ollie indulging a favorite Seattle past time, rain watching

This Week: Saturday, May 3 – National Fitness Day & Public Radio Day & Sun Day & Wild Koala Day & World Press Freedom Day

Night Sky, 5/3-4: Eta Aquariid meteor shower- This meteor shower comes from Halley’s comet. It happens twice a year with a time interval of six months, and along its path you can see up to 50 shooting stars per hour. In 2025 the shower will take place from April 20 to May 21, with the peak from May 3 to 4.

Sunday, May 4 – May the Fourth Be With You Lemonade Day & Blessing of the Bikes Day & World Laughter Day

Monday, May 5 – Cartoonists Day & Cinco de Mayo & National Astronaut Day & Silence the Shame Day

Tuesday, May 6 – Foster Care Day & National Teacher Day & No Diet Day & Russell Stover Candies Day

Wednesday, May 7 – Beaufort Scale Day (Wind) & National Deaf Interpreter Day & School Nurse Day

Night Sky, 5/7: Jupiter (magnitude –2.0, in Taurus) shines bright white in the west in the early evening, 44° lower right of Mars along the ecliptic. Jupiter continues to form a shrinking triangle with Taurus's two horntip stars, Beta and fainter Zeta Tauri. The triangle will turn into a straight line on May 15th. Jupiter sets in the west-northwest around 11 p.m. daylight-saving time.

Thursday, May 8 – National Cruelty Free Day & No Socks Day & Student Nurse Day & World Red Cross Day

A Potterhead on a horse is called a Troterhead.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. “I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?” The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There’s silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “Okay, now what?” —Submitted by Gerald Dok

..........Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly..........Healy (Annie) …..You're Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile

2) In 1959, hot on the heels of Sputnik 1, the Soviets scored another space first with Luna 2. No soft landing was planned; the spacecraft deliberately crashed onto or into the lunar surface.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The most stable object in the known universe is a British teacup during a crisis. --Submitted by 42 Collective

Moonbeam: The murder of a man is still murder, even in wartime. --Manfred (the red baron) von Richthofen

Fun Fact of the Week: The Hippodrome was built in 1852. Franconi Schottisch built it for mammoth entertainments and amusements. It was torn down in 1856 to make way for the Fifth Avenue Hotel.

Video of the Week: Jack Benny & Mel Blanc at the airport (2:11) https://youtu.be/O9s8U0O0XPE

Having a good time together is the essence of lovingness and the best means of increasing it. --Dr Benjamin Spock

A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle says, “I don't know. It all happened so fast.” --Submitted by Debby Carter

Dobby got a job as a bellboy in a hotel. But he quit because everybody called him the Dobby in the Lobby.

..........I couldn't stop laughing.........Lily Allen …..Smile

3) In 1961 history was made when Yuri Gargarin, a young Soviet cosmonaut, became the first human to journey into space aboard his capsule, Vostok 1. His flight lasted 108 minutes.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I watch people and wonder how some of them found their way out of the birth canal.

Weird Word of the Week: Eellogofusciouhipoppokunurious – extra good or fine https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-eel1.html

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Wash dishes. If you run out of dishwashing soap, wash your dishes in the kitchen sink with Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo. It's perfect for camping since it is biodegradable. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

Dementors freshen their breath with Dementos.

A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony playing backwards. When it's over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backwards, and then the First. “What's going on?” he asks a cemetery worker. “It's Beethoven,” says the woman, “He's decomposing”. --Submitted by Jeremy Hone

...........Today's a new day.........Kirk Franklin …..I Smile

4) Apollo 11, launched in 1960. It carried Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and Buzz Aldrin. The lunar module was The Eagle. Armstrong and Aldrin walked about 300 feet from The Eagle and set up scientific equipment. The one piece of equipment still “working” is the Laser Ranging Retroreflector. A small array of special mirrors that reflects laser beams sent to it from earth. (I assume no moving parts)

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: American English is so hard. There's a silent K in “Knight”, only one silent K in “Knickerbocker”, but 3 silent Ks in “Republican”. https://www.facebook.com/USdems

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Nope, I can't go to hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me. --Submitted by rc of tx

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Wonderplace Alpha 2025 (2-4, Lake George, NY) Steampunk Event... https://scificons.com/events/info/25764/wonderplace-alpha-2025

Spark of Joy of the Week: Neil Young's new electric cars song for Elon Musk Let's Roll Again

Gee, you must be a dementor. You sure took my breath away.

A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer and I’m as jittery as a cat.” “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the collie. “I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch.” —Submitted by L.B. Weinstein

..........I would do it all over again.........Avril Lavigne …..Smile

5) Launched in 1972 and 1973 respectively, Pioneer 10 and 11 were like intrepid space explorers, venturing further than any human-made object before them. These twin spacecraft hurtled past Jupiter and Saturn, snapping incredible close-up photos and revealing new details about these gas giants. But their journey didn’t end there. Pioneer 10 and 11 achieved a remarkable feat – they became the first spacecraft to escape our solar system entirely, venturing into the vast unknown interstellar space.

Protest Sign of the Week: Don't Agonize, Organize!

Quote of the Week: Activism is my rent for living on the planet. --Alice Walker

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: William Henry Harrison had a better first 100 days, and he spent 70 of them dead. --Submitted by sb of ar

Today's Peace of History: Today's Peace of History, May 2, 1964: Hundreds of children ranging in age from six to eighteen were arrested in Birmingham, Alabama, as they marched from Kelly Ingram Park**, across from 16th Street Baptist Church, to downtown singing, “We Shall Overcome.”

**If you ever have a reason to be in Birmingham, go to Kelly Ingram Park. It is an incredible experience. They have statues of angry dogs snarling at you and water hoses pointed at you, and lots of historical markers.

Snape: Harry is failing potions. Dumbledore: Are you serious? Snape: No, I'm Serverus

A king, wanting to host an elaborate wedding for his daughter, raised taxes on all citizens of the kingdom by thirty pieces of gold. Everybody paid, except for one young count. The king sent a tax collector, but the count refused. “This is unfair, and I shall not pay!” The king sent the sheriff, but the count refused. “I will not support the king’s new tax!” Finally, the king had the count arrested, and thrown in the dungeon. He explained to the count that failure to pay was treason, and he would be executed, yet still, the count refused. So, the king had him brought to the top of the tower, and neck on the block, with the executioner’s axe raised. The king asked the count to pay. He defiantly shouted, “Never!” Then, as the executioner’s axe began to fall, the count shouted “OK! I’ll pay!”. But it was too late, the executioner couldn’t stop the heavy axe, and the count was killed. The moral of this story? Don’t hatchet your counts before they chicken.

..........You steal away the rain.........Uncle Kracker …..Smile

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 2, 2025, gRin's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I have always striven to raise the voice of hope for a world where hate gives way to respect and oppression to liberation. --Theodore Bikel

Cost of War:

As of 05/01/25 State Department Costs: $263,957,863,358

As of 04/24/25 State Department Costs: $263,411,286,784

As of 05/01/25 Homeland Security: $1,198,430,706,392

As of 04/24/25 Homeland Security: $1,197,826,674,316

As of 05/01/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,296,393,325,364

As of 04/24/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,294,840,148,647

As of 05/01/25 Military Costs: $3,143,983,936,719

As of 04/24/25 Military Costs: $3,142,804,705,313

As of 05/01/25 Veterans Care: $4,252,254,046,719

As of 04/24/25 Veterans Care:$4,240,482,064,848

As of 05/01/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,155,033,128,384

As of 04/24/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,139,368,804,767

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

It's up to each of us to help create a better world for our children. --Dr Benjamin Spock

Famous Last Words: Goodbye—and God Bless You. Tyrone A Moon for the Misbegotten

..........Whenever skies are gray don't worry or fret.........Bing Crosby …..Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella

I named my lizard Harry because then I get to say, Harry, you're a lizard everyday.

These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop in town to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t’ close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

May Peace give you a smile

And Joy make you laugh out loud

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

cOiffed ePistle

Famous First Words: I was born in the year 1692. Daniel DeFoe Robinson Cursoe

2 weeks ago I didn't realize that today would be World Penguin Day and I spent all my penguin jokes on tariffs. Well, almost all. Happily today is also Hairstylists Appreciation Day. My haircut is called, “I have kids”. ₼ She had hair so big it had its own zip code. ₼ Be nice to your hairdresser, he knows all your secrets.

Trust us! We're Penguins. We have experience with iceholes.

..........To hate all the people your relatives hate..........John Kerr …..You've Got To Be Taught (South Pacific)

We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. When the loyal opposition dies, I think the soul of America dies with it. --Edward R Murrow

It is a Gray Friday morning. The sky is a solid gray without features or variations of any kind. A 12 mph north wind cuts the 59°F temperature a little and gracefully flings around the willow branches. Puck is snoring on my sweater; they are tiny snorts, only audible if I am very quiet. The birds that sang so happily when I woke up are silent now and no fauna -wild or domestic – is making its way through the grass that desperately needs mowing. The world still smells of damp soil and cement. I am sipping decaf and nibbling pepperoni. Ah, sparrow voices can be heard again. It is a very nice morning, indeed.

Hope your weekend includes your best hair day ever, shear perfectionists.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: headline: Nation Can't Believe It's On Harvard's Side. --The Onion

I'm not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde. --Dolly Parton ₼ I love my pillow; it gives me a new hairstyle everyday. ₼ Be nice to your hairdresser, she's only charging she cleaning up after you paid your aunt $15 dollars to give you a $5 box permanent.

No tariffs on tuxedos.

..........I'm tired of bein' poor and, even worse, I'm black..........2Pac …..Changes

Trivia Questions: 139 year ago Freud opened his medical practice. Well, isn't that nice.

1. What training did Freud have?

2. What then legal substance did Freud briefly believe to be a miracle drug?

3. What sea animal's sex life did Freud study at the university?

4. What was Freud's reaction to German Nazi's burning his books?

5. What was the public's reaction to Freud's Interpretation of Dreams?

Big Hello: Namaste – Sanskrit https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A philosopher sneezed near a time machine and accidentally invented jazz. --Submitted by 42 Collective

Image of the Week: My Front Window

Insult of the Week: If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. --Kurt Vonnegut Timequake

Today I faced what I feared most - my very first grey hair appeared. It stood out boldly in my hair. I couldn't believe that it was there. I hated it, if truth be told, it shouted to me, “Gee, you're old”. I was not about to scream and shout; instead, I pulled the sucker out. ₼ Man bun? Or Douche knot? ₼ Be nice to your hairdresser she dyeing to make you beautiful.

Tariff threats are like a box of chocolates. The penguins never know what they're going to get.

..........Black bodies swinging in a southern breeze..........Billie Holiday …..Strange Fruit

Moonbeam: You will have found Christ when you are concerned with other people's sufferings and not your own. --Flannery O'Connor

Blasphemy of the Week: Jesus' entire rap in 21 words: Be generous, merciful, compassionate, Don't judge, fret, or be attached to things. God cares for everybody, no exceptions. You can too. --Submitted by MMS

Coffee Joke of the Week: I'm sorry. Can I call you back in a couple of cups of coffee?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: you gotta meet me after your ego death. I won't make sense before. The Goddess Vibe

Gracie made a fortune. She invented a method for removing back hair and replanting on the head. ₼ She had a PHD – Pentecostal Hair Do. ₼ Be nice to your hairdresser remember beauty comes from inside – his salon.

Tariffs! Seriously? Just Make Ice Free Again!

..........School children sitting in jail..........Nina Simone …..Mississippi Goddam

1) Freud obtained a medical degree from the University of Vienna in 1881. His emphasis was physiology and neurology. He interned at the Medical Center of Vienna and studied neurology under Jean Martin Charcot in Paris.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 25, 2025. The moon will be new on Sunday (4/27) and is in Aries. Today is Malaria Awareness Day, DNA Day, East Meets West Day aja Ekbe Day, Hairstylists Appreciation Day, Hug a Plumber Day, International Delegate's Day, International Procurement Day, License Plates Day, National Hairball Awareness Day, National Historic Marker Day, Parental Alienation Day, Red Hat Society Day, Undiagnosed Children's Awareness Day, and World Penguin Day. Because it is the final Friday it is also Arbor Day.

Among those born on this day were Louis IX (France, 1214), Edward II (England, 1284), Felix Klein (1849), Walter De la Mare (1873), Elsa Maxwell (1883), Edward R. Murrow (1908), Ella Fitzgerald (1918), Albert King (1923), Flannery O'Connor (1925), Meadowlark Lemon (1932), Al Pacino (1940), and Talia Shire (1946), Robinson Crusoe was published (1719), Signmund Freud opened his practice (1886), USA and Canada drop the gold standard (1933), the first seeing eye dog went to work (1938), and the United Negro College Fund incorporated (1944).

Night Sky, 4/25: This is the time of year when, as the last of twilight fades away, the dim Little Dipper extends to the right from Polaris and slightly up. High above the Little Dipper's bowl, you'll find the Big Dipper's bowl http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The backside of the Manette Bridge Protest of 4/5

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: “You're acting weird.” Okay, well, first I'm not acting.

This Week: Saturday, April 26 – Audubon Day & Bob Wills Day & Independent Bookstore Day & National Dance Day

Sunday, April 27 – Deaf Parents Day & Morse Code Day & World Tapir Day

Night Sky, 4/27: Arcturus is the brightest star high in the east these evenings. Spica shines lower right of it by about three fists at arm's length. To the right of Spica by half that distance is the distinctive four-star constellation Corvus, the springtime Crow. Vega, the Summer Star, the zero-magnitude equal of Arcturus, is now twinkling low in the northeast at nightfall. . . depending on your latitude. The farther north you are the higher Vega will be. If you're in the latitudes of the southern US, you'll have to wait until a bit later for it to appear. New Moon (exact at 3:31 p.m. EDT).

Monday, April 28 – Save the Frogs Day & Workers Memorial Day & World Day for Safety and Health at Work

Tuesday, April 29 – International Almanac Appreciation Day & Peace Rose Day & World Wish Day & Zipper Day

Wednesday, April 30 – Beltane & Denim Day & International Jazz Day & National Honesty Day

Night Sky, 4/30: Venus itself, magnitude –4.7, rises at the very beginning of dawn before the others. For skywatchers at mid-northern latitudes, Venus will continue to rise at the start of dawn for the rest of April and May. In a telescope as dawn grows bright, Venus is a shrinking, thickening crescent. It will fill out to become half lit around the end of May. How far into broad daylight can you follow Venus with your scope?

Thursday, May 1 – Beltane & Hug Your Cat Day & Global Love Day & International Guerilla Sunflower Gardening Day & Law Day

Rocking the mullet; your mane event. ₼ I threw a party for my mullet, but it was a split decision whether to invite the bangs. ₼ My last hair cut will be a fringe because I want to go out with a bang.

I'm going to build a wall around Antarctica and the penguins are going to pay for it.

..........That itty bitty basket was a joy of mine..........Ella Fitzgerald …..A-tisket, A-tasket

2) In the 1880s, Freud grew interested in a little-known, legal drug being used by a German military doctor to rejuvenate exhausted troops—cocaine. Freud experimented with the drug and found his digestion and spirits improved. However, when Freud gave cocaine to close friend Ernst von Fleischl-Marxow to wean him from his morphine addiction and relieve chronic pain, his friend instead developed a cocaine addiction. With news of other addictions and overdose deaths spreading, Freud stopped advocating cocaine’s medical benefits.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I'm just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction. https://www.facebook.com/mygayday

Moonbeam: Existence is a party. You join in after it's started and leave before it's finished. --Elsa Maxwell

Fun Fact of the Week: Happy National Hairball Awareness Day: A hairball by any other name is still gross. In this case, the scientific term is trichobezoar. The root, trich, is Greek for "hair." A bezoar is any mass found in the stomach or intestines. It comes from the Persian word for "antidote."

Video of the Week: Meadowlark Lemon Highlights (1:06) https://youtu.be/P9GMHk9Bh04

No one can terrorize a whole nation, unless we are all his accomplices. --Edward R Murrow

Beware! Next they'll come for the krill.

The Ponytail became a chef because she was fascinated by hair loom recipes. ₼ Ponytail was always going to parties to “let her hair down”. ₼ Be nice to your hairdresser all those questions are just Do Diligence.

..........if you ain't warm as a breath of spring..........Albert King …..I'll Be Doggone

3) While enrolled at the University of Vienna, a young Freud studied zoology. On a research trip to Trieste to study the sexual organs of eels, his professor assigned him the task of finding the gonads of the male of the species, a discovery that had eluded scientists for centuries. Freud spent many hours dissecting eels to no avail. “All the eels I have cut open are of the tenderer sex,” he reported.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The thing about that “first they came for” poem is that we're at least 2-3 lines deep and it's not a very long poem. --Submitted by jc of wa

Weird Word of the Week: Deodand – A deodand was an item of property that, however coincidentally, caused the death of a human being. https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-deo1.html

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean carpet. Use a capful of any scent of Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo in your carpet shampooer to clean carpet, simultaneously scenting your home. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

What are they gonna do, send us to El Salvador?

The Mohawk was invented by a barber just trying to align some sideburns. ₼ An electrician was arrested for forcing a hairdresser to give his clients mohawks. One victim said it was a hair-raising experience. ₼ Be nice to your hairdresser remember what your hair looked like when you tried to dye the gray out.

...........The color of his skin was black, and his name was Emmett Till..........Bob Dylan …..The Death of Emmett Till

4) Although an atheist himself, Freud was born into a Jewish family and became a particular target of the Nazis when they rose to power. His books were among those burned by the Nazis in 1933, which caused him to quip: “What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages, they would have burnt me; nowadays they are content with burning my books.”

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a can opener that can be operated with a paw. --Terry Pratchett

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Concinnity 25 (25^th, Milwaukee, WI) Hosted by the Milwaukee School of Engineering https://www.facebook.com/Concinnitycon/

Extreme Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I ordered new coats for my children, In the name of efficiency, I had them shipped directly to the school's Lost and Found room.

Musing of the Week: I was totally wrong about the new suggested substitute for the word Protest . They wanted to change it to Protect. But I still prefer Vanguard for the New American Democracy much better. We've learned a lot in 250 years. We can do democracy much better. We can provide for our citizens, we can protect ourselves from future dictators and coups, we can figure ways forward so that we get closer to liberty and justice for all than any state ever has.

I shot the tariff. But I did not shoot the subsidy.

It's almost National Jamaican Hairstyle Day; everyone's dreadin' it. ₼ Since they don't get their hair cut, guys with dreads save lots of money – mostly on dates. ₼ Be nice to your hairdresser, he can't help it if the hot flashes melt your beehive.

..........Stole from me, lied to me, nation hypocrisy..........Beyonce …..Freedom

5) The book Freud considered his “most significant work” produced little fanfare when it was published in 1899. Only 351 copies of The Interpretation of Dreams were sold in its first six years, and a second edition was not published until 1909.

Protest Sign of the Week: The Only Good Billionaire Is A Fictional One. (held by a man in a bat suit)

Child's Protest Sign of the Week: I'm also 6' 3” & 230 lbs.

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Why Protest? It's easier than hiding a family in your attic.

Quote of the Week: Many powerful people don't want peace because they live off war. Some powerful people make their living with the production of arms. It's the industry of death. --Pope Francis

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The interesting thing about capitalism is that it's entirely incompatible with the future. So we've just decided to get rid of the future and keep capitalism for a short while. --Submitted by MMS

Today's Peace of History: April 25, 1974: A peaceful uprising by the army and civilians, known as the Carnation Revolution (RevoluÇÃo dos Cravos), ended 48 years of fascism in Portugal.

Penguins in the US who support the penguins of Heard Island are seceding from the US and starting their own country. They mean to call it USB.

When I became a dad I got a buzz cut...because doing my hair in the morning was just overhead. ₼ All the bees I've ever met had buzz cuts. ₼ Be nice to your hairdresser, she can ruin your self-esteem for the next 6 months with an “oops” of the shears.

..........'Cause they thinking, “Yeah, you're all the same”..........Solange …..F.U.B.U. (By Us For Us)

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, April 15, 2025, cOiffed ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: All day long the door of the subconscious remains just ajar; we slip through to the other side, and return again, as easily and secretly as a cat. --Walter de La Mare

Cost of War:

As of 04/24/25 State Department Costs: $263,411,286,784

As of 04/17/25 State Department Costs: $262,843,179,790

As of 04/24/25 Homeland Security: $1,197,826,674,316

As of 04/17/25 Homeland Security: $1,197,208,770,336

As of 04/24/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,294,840,148,647

As of 04/17/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,293,251,269,649

As of 04/24/25 Military Costs: $3,142,804,705,313

As of 04/17/25 Military Costs: $3,141,598,319,958

As of 04/24/25 Veterans Care:$4,240,482,064,848

As of 04/17/25 Veterans Care: $4,228,439,167,835

As of 04/24/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,139,368,804,767

As of 04/17/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,123,342,093,092

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. --Edward R Murrow

Famous Last Words: Good night and Good Luck --Edward R Murrow

.........Justice for all just ain't specific enough..........Common & John Legend …..Glory (Selma)

You have to admit that the penguins have made the trade war much more adorable.

Having a bad hair day? Braid it away ₼ A good braid pun is like fine hairtistry. ₼ Braids go in and out of style, but braid puns are a lifelong treasure. ₼ Always be nice to the person holding scissors near your head.

May Peace define your soul

And Joy describe your heart

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: