Friday, May 9, 2025

mOm's ePistle

Famous First Words: Whereas, By a joint proclamation... Wilson's Declaration creating Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day. It's not easy being a mom. It if was easy, fathers would do it. --Betty White Ӫ Today we honor cooks, nurses, chauffeurs, counselors, teachers, aids, and referees. In other words...moms.

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: If you're going to make a parachute jump, how high should you be? Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Submitted by jo of ks

..........It's time ole Hank paid his due.........Hank Snow …..Breakfast With The Blues

There is no separation. We are all from the same place. As long as there is respect and acknowledgement of connection things continue working. When that stops we all die. --Joy Harjo

It is a gorgeous (59°F) Friday morning. The sun is shining in an azure sky with no clouds. There is no wind to speak of and even the willow branches have switched to slow dancing. Foliage is green and growing; my hollyhock leaves are the size of Sally Rand's fans. The resident bunny rabbit is no longer hidden against the brown grass, but is quite visible munching away at the green lawn. Birds are chattering about their day. Puck stayed a while outside before returning for his early morning nap which is accompanied by tiny snorts. Veronica put in an appearance and disappeared. I lit up a cone of incense to add a bit of fragrance to the room. Now I sip my cup of toasted almond decaf. All in all a great day to write to you.

Hope your weekend is full and fine, children – new and old

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The universal language is not math. It's the exaggerated shrug. --Submitted by 42 Collective

Motherhood Inc, Human Resources: One vacation day a year? That's all I get? We call it Mother's Day but technically you still have to work. Ӫ If you want your children to call you on Mother's Day, try posting something embarrassing about them on instagram. Usually, the triumph of my day is, you know, everybody making it to the potty. --Julia Roberts

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: Do female frogs croak? Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

..........I've breathed the mountain, air, man.........Hank Snow …..I've Been Everywhere

Trivia Questions: Happy Alphabet Magnet Day!

1) Why were alphabet magnets invented?

2) Who invented them?

3) When were alphabet magnets first sold to the public?

4) Can you wash alphabet magnets?

5) In what year was the Alphabet Magnet Day first celebrated?

Big Hello: Bona die – Sardinian (Logudorese) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When the horse comes back into town without the rider, you know something bad happened. But no one ever suspects the horse. --Bob Pease

Image of the Week: Puck: Morning Nap With Blanket

Insult of the Week: If I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on. --Mark Twain The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

What do I wanna do for Mother's Day? Well, something with the kids, for sure and then for the love of God something alone, please. Ӫ Stripped of her youth, her energy, her money, she quietly reflects on the joys of motherhood. Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I'm looking forward to investigating in the future. --Amy Poehler

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

..........You were flyin' too high for my little old sky.........Hank Snow …..I'm Movin' On

Moonbeam: The path to paradise begins in hell. --Dante Alighieri

Blasphemy of the Week: When God looks down and sees how we're acting, does He say “Medamnit!”?https://www.facebook.com/PatheticHilarious

Coffee Joke of the Week: I made my coffee with Red Bull this morning. Then I left for work and 15 minutes later, I realized I forgot the car.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Guide was recently updated to include: “If confused, nap.” --Submitted by 42 Collective

I'm sorry about all those dumb little things I did when I was a kid. Just be thankful you only know about half of them Ӫ When my children told me they were going to make breakfast for me on Mother's Day, we conducted an impromptu course on using the fire extinguisher. The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kids didn't finish. --Carrie Underwood

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a strange man at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

..........Everybody look what's going down.........Buffalo Springfield with Richie Furay …..For What It's Worth

1) Although traditionally, we might think of a magnet letter as a children's toy, the first known magnet letters were actually created for the space industry. NASA needed magnetic letters and numbers for charting and tracking inside spacecraft.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 9, 2025. The moon will be full (Flower) on Monday (5/12) and it is in Libra. Today is Alphabet Magnet Day, Europe Day, Home Front Heroes Day, National Moscato Day, and National Sleepover Day. Because it's the second Friday it is also Fintastic Friday: Giving Sharks a Voice. And because it is the Friday before Mother's Day it is Child Care Provider Day, Military Spouse Appreciation Day, National Public Gardens Day, and National Provider Appreciation Day.

Among those born on this day were Dante Alighieri (1265), Abraham van Diepenbeeck (1675), Giovanni Paisiello (1740), Gaspard Monge (1746), James Pollard Espy (1785), John Brown (1800), J M Barrie (1860), Howard Carter (1874), (Clarence) Hank Snow (1914), Mike Wallace (1918), Daniel Berrigan (1921), Glenda Jackson (1936), Richie Furay (1944), Billy Joel (1949), Joy Harjo (1951), and John Corbett (1962).

On May ninth the Treaty of Windsor was ratified (Portugal & England, 1386), Columbus left Cadiz on this final trip (1502), the first newspaper political cartoon was published (1754), the American Civil War ended (1865), FYI: the North won), President Wilson proclaimed the first Mother's Day (1914), the world's first Eye Bank opened in NYC (1944), Hermann Goering was captured by US (1945), Peace Settlement (Philippines & Japan, 1956), and the final episode of Golden Girls aired (NBC, 1992).

Night Sky, 5/9: Three zero-magnitude stars shine after dark in May: Arcturus high in the southeast, Vega much lower in the northeast, and Capella in the northwest. They appear so bright because each is at least 60 times as luminous as the Sun and because they're all relatively nearby: 37, 25, and 42 light-years from us, respectively. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: They're at it again. 5/3/25 I Poulsbo, WA

This Week: Saturday, May 10 – Clean Your Room Day & Letter Carriers Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive Day

Sunday, May 11 – Eat What You Want Day & Mother's Day & Mother's At The Wall Day

Night Sky, 5/11: What is the oldest thing you have ever seen? For everyone in the world it's at least the Sun and other objects of the solar system; Earth is 4.6 billion years old. (Everything on or just under Earth's surface is much younger.) Next is Arcturus, which most people have surely seen whether they know it or not, since it's one of the brightest stars in the sky. It's a Population II orange giant, which is about 7 billion years old, just passing through our region of the Milky Way.

Monday, May 12 – Buddha Day & Day of Vesak (May Full Moon) & Limerick Day & Odometer Day

Tuesday, May 13 – American Indian Day & Indigenous Arts Day & World Cocktail Day

Wednesday, May 14 – National Chicken Dance Day & National Night Shift/Third Shift Workers Day & Underground America Day

Night Sky, 5/14: Uranus is lost in the sunset. Neptune, a mere 8th magnitude, lurks hidden in the dawn in the background of Venus and Saturn.

Thursday, May 15 – Straw Hat Day & Nylon Stockings Day & Peace Officer Memorial Day & Lag B'Omer

There is a legend that if you're taking a bath and scream out loud “Mom” three times, a nice lady appears bringing you the towel you forgot. Ӫ The week before Mother's Day my optometrist offers free exam for eyes in the back of your head. I always say if your aren't yelling at your kinds, you're not spending enough time with them. --Reese Witherspoon

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you grow older? Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

..........We are only what we feel.........Buffalo Springfield with Richie Furay …..On The Way Home

2) Sam Hardcastle invented the fully magnetic, flexible letters and numbers that became the first rendition of alphabet magnets and space ship aids.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Happy Mother's Day to all the teachers accidentally called Mom once. --Submitted by High Church Coyote

Moonbeam: I cannot remember a night so dark as to have hindered the coming day. --John Brown

Fun Fact of the Week: The Treaty of Windsor is a diplomatic alliance signed between Portugal and England on 9 May 1386 in Windsor and sealed by the marriage of King John I of Portugal to Philippa of Lancaster, daughter of John of Gaunt, 1st Duke of Lancaster.

Video of the Week: Obituary for Father Daniel Berrigan (:20) https://youtu.be/WnVFOZ7WP9E

True power does not amass through the pain and suffering of others. --Joy Harjo

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

Never ask Batman what he's doing for Mother's Day. Ӫ Dear Mom, I was gonna give you an all expense paid, first-class trip to Hawaii for Mother's Day. But I knew how much you'd miss me, and I just couldn't put you through that kind of agony. The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. --Calvin Trillin

..........In time, you know my melody will haunt you.........Poco with Richie Furay …..You Better Think Twice

3) On May 9, 1972, Fisher-Price released a toy known as School Desk Days, which included the colorful, hard plastic magnetic numbers and letters. Later in the 70s they began to sell and market their Magnetic Alphabet toy separately.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I knocked over a plant in the kitchen and my cat saw me...So I had to spray myself with water to prove the law applies to everyone. https://www.facebook.com/churchmouseuk

Weird Word of the Week: Fewmet (also fewmishings) excrement or droppings from an animal hunted for game. https://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-few1.html

Dragon of the Week: Quetzalcoatl

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean hairspray build-up from a curling iron. Use a damp, soft clean cloth to rub a few drops of Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo on a cool, unplugged curling iron. Rinse clean and dry. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/clairol.html

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

My kids gave me a blanket for Mother's Day because I'm such a cool mom. Ӫ Cleaning with children in the house is like brushing your teeth with Oreos. Become a mom to mean means you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse. --Nia Vardalos

...........Tonight I'm gonna break away.........Poco with Richie Furay …..Crazy Love

4) To clean a magnet, you can wipe it with a clean cloth and warm, soapy water.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: For too long, we've all suffered the bizarre and oppressive policies I installed last week. --H Lin

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: I couldn't find a single Sci-Fi convention being held this weekend. I think this shows my lack of researching skills and not the state of fandom. So here's a actual science Convention instead: International Conference on Public Health and Epidemiology 9, NYC) https://www.allconferencealert.com/event/1501536

Spark of Joy of the Week: Best Penguin Moments Video (3:00) https://youtu.be/n_J3VpZbYzI

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at a nudist camp. One is politics, what is the other? Paul Lynde: Tape measures

It's spicy” is universal-mom-speak for “I don't want to share”. Ӫ Mums are always the best flower for Mother's Day. ₿ When my kids become wild and unruly, Iuse a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. --Erma Bombeck

..........Well, we're all in the mood for a melody.........Billy Joel …..Piano Man

(* In 2017 The Type Set Co founded Alphabet Magnet Day.

Protest Sign of the Week: I'm So Angry I Made A Sign

Better Protest Sign of the Week: Worst 100 Days Of My 82 Years. --Submitted by Feminist News

Quote of the Week: Ann Coulter said: “Would it be possible to have a cabinet meeting without the Kim Jong il-style tributes?” I could list a hundred reasons I despise Trump, but agreeing with Ann Coulter definitely cracks the top ten. https://www.facebook.com/reallyamerican

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I guess I'm going to have to bequeath this Equal Pay For Women sign to my granddaughter.

People from Chicago usually hate the Cardinals!

Today's Peace of History: May 9, 1967: In April, World Heavyweight Boxing Champion Muhammad Ali had refused induction into the U.S. Army based on his religious convictions. He claimed, "I ain't got no quarrel with those Vietcong." On this day, following his indictment by 24 hours, he was stripped of his title and his license to fight by the World Boxing Association.

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: In bowling, what's a perfect score? Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy

Motherhood is like a reverse fairy tale. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people. Ӫ I hate it when I waiting for mom to fix supper and I realize I'm mom. ₿ My mother's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. --Buddy Hackett

..........She's ahead of her time.........Billy Joel …..She's Always A Woman

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 9, 2025, Mom's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves. --James M Barrie

Cost of War:

As of 05/08/25 State Department Costs: $264,521,078,217

As of 05/01/25 State Department Costs: $263,957,863,358

As of 05/08/25 Homeland Security: $1,199,031,549,713

As of 05/01/25 Homeland Security: $1,198,430,706,392

As of 05/08/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,297,938,376,924

As of 05/01/25 Interest on War Debt: $1,296,393,325,364

As of 05/08/25 Military Costs: $3,145,156,986,265

As of 05/01/25 Military Costs: $3,143,983,936,719

As of 05/08/25 Veterans Care:$4,263,966,336,497

As of 05/01/25 Veterans Care: $4,252,254,046,719

As of 05/08/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,170,615,810,731

As of 05/01/25 Total Cost of Wars: $10,155,033,128,384

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Bless the poets, the workers for justice, the dancers of ceremony, the singers of heartache, the visionaries, all makers and carriers of fresh meaning – We will all make it through, despite politics and wars, despite failures and misunderstandings. There is only love. --Joy Harjo

Famous Last Words: The love which moves the sun and the other stars. --Dante The Divine Comedy

..........They built you a temple and locked you away.........Billy Joel …..Only The Good Die Young

The Best & Worst of Hollywood Squares: Why do Hell's Angels wear leather? Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Beware! There are at least five species that eat their young. Your mom could be one of them. Ӫ If evolution really works how come mothers only have two hands. --Milton Berle

May Peace provide comfort

And Joy supply companionship

prairie mama

christine



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