ePistle iNquiry

 Famous First Words: Whereas section 1 of the act of Congress entitled... Executive Order 5398 – Herbert Hoover

July is Get Ready For Kindergarten Month. Did my teacher take all the arithmetic books out of the classroom because they had so many problems? / If I get my peanut butter on the doorknob, should I use the door jam?

It's so hot I saw a funeral procession pull through a Dairy Queen.

..........Dreaming about the world as one..........Cat Stevens …..Peace Train

As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold the person down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might. --Marian Anderson National Federation of Afro-American Women

It is a gray, humid Friday morning. At first glance the sky seems a solid, dirty white without texture or movement; but if you look long enough you see that it has many small darker grays and blues that refuse to blend into the pale dawn heavens. Trees are restless in the 7 mph northeast wind – the willow dancing and the mulberry barely bothering to wave. Birds are heard discussing the day's plans and what flower seeds are ripe and which feeders are still full. These birds remain hidden in the lush foliage of tree limbs and bush branches but their song carries even through my window. It is 70°F with a relative humidity of 80%. I believe that I may have been in steam rooms with less humidity. The humidity enhances the odor of wet soil and damp plants; it is a spring smell in the heat of summer. I have almost given up coffee for breakfast – even decaf – and so I take a long sip of water...no flavor yet very refreshing. But the very best of all is that I get to write to you.

Hoping your weekend is cool on many, many levels, ePistiers,

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Getting old sucks big time. I just threw my back out because the toaster startled me. --Submitted by jm or ks

Do you call a sneezing locomotive achoo-choo train? / Can only twins eat pears?

It's so hot I filled my waterbed with ice cubes.

..........It's hard to get by just upon a smile..........Cat Stevens …..Wild World

Trivia Questions: It's National Drinking Age Day.

• ^ What are the percentages of underage drinking in the US?
• ^^ What was the drinking age before the Prohibition Era?
• ^^^ What about age and drinking during Prohibition?
• ^^^^ How did the end of Prohibition affect the drinking age?
• ^^^^^ What is the current status of a national drinking age?

Big Hello: Annyeong-Hasimnikka (안녕하십니까) - Korean https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from going into your eyes but whenever I have something in my eye – it's always an eyelash. Eyeronic. --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: Storm Damage 7/14/23 - 11^th & Pennsylvania, Lawrence KS

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: The average librarian's to-be-read pile is equal to half their height times 2. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Did Ms Biscuit have to go to the doctor because she was feeling crumby? / Do bee's wings get sticky because they use honey combs?

It's so hot congress installed a fan in the debt ceiling.

..........If my colours all run dry..........Cat Stevens …..Moonshadow

Moonbeam: Sometimes you got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun. --Robin Williams

Question of the Week: What animal would make a great driver?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Peter Gwinn, who writes for "Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!" Take the first name of a famous movie director. Write it in upper- and lowercase letters. Rotate the third letter of this name 180° and you'll get the name of the main character in one of this director's most popular movies. Who was it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 7/16/23

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: 93 degrees and a thunderstorm, WTF am I supposed to wear? A thong and rain boots? --Submitted by RHOZ

Wasn't the first animal in space the cow that jumped over the moon? / Do giraffes have those long necks because they have smelly feet?

It's so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.

..........Keep your cotton picking fingers out my curly hair..........Cat Stevens …..Hard Headed Woman

^ Underage drinking is common and often excessive. In 2019, over 7 million 12-to 20-year-olds reported past month alcohol use, over 4 million reported past month binge drinking, and nearly 1 million reported past month heavy alcohol use.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 21, 2023. The moon goes into the first quarter on Tuesday (7/25) and is in Virgo. It is Legal Drinking Age Day and No Pet Store Puppies Day.

Among those who were born on this day were Victor Schoelcher (1804), Paul Julius Baron von Reuter (1816), Louise Blanchard Bethune (1856), Frances Folsom Cleveland (1864), Frances Parkinson Keyes (1885), Ernest Hemmingway (1899), Hart Crane (1899), Marshall McLuhan (1911), Isaac Stern (1920), Kay Starr (1922), Don Knotts (1924), Cat Stevens (1947), Robin Williams (1951), and Jon Lovitz (1957).

On July twenty first the English defeated the Spanish armada (1588), Belgium gained independence from the Netherlands (1831), the first Canadian railroad opened (1836), Jesse James robbed his first train (1873), the National Federation of Afro-American Women & the Colored Women's League merged to form National Association of Colored Women (1896), Spain ceded Guam to the US (1898),

Jenatzy set a world auto speed record at 65.79 MPH (1904), the US Veterans Administration was established (1930), the Soviet Union annexed Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania (1940), the senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty (1946), Althea Gibson became the first black person to win a major US tennis tournament (1957), Gus Grissom was launched in the Mercury 4 (1961), Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon (1969), Billy Martin was fired as the Texas Rangers manager (1975), the National Women's Hall of Fame was dedicated (Seneca Falls, NY, 1979), and Pink Floyd performed "The Wall" where the Berlin Wall once stood (1990).

Night Sky, 7/21: In late twilight, look about a fist at arm's length above the Moon for Denebola, Beta Leonis. That's Leo's tail tip. This late in July, Leo is going goodbye. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Where Cotton Candy is King

This Week: Saturday, July 22 – Casual Pi Day & National Cowboy Day & Spooners** Day

**Spoonerisms - bot hog duns (hot dog buns), chewing the doors (doing the chores) deeding the fog...

Sunday, July 23 – Gorgeous Grandma Day & Hot Enough for Ya Day & Body Painting Day

Night Sky, 7/23: To me, the thick waxing crescent is one of the most interesting phases for exploring the Moon's terminator with a telescope. And this evening, above or upper right of the Moon by a couple degrees is 3rd-magnitude Gamma Virginis (Porrima), a fine close telescopic double star for telescopes. Its components are 3.3 arcseconds apart this year, oriented almost north-south. They're both magnitude 3.5.

Monday, July 24 – Cousins Day & National Frozen Margarita Day & Tell An Old Joke Day^

*The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons -- “What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before? Answer: A key.”

Tuesday, July 25 – Carousel Day & Hire a Veteran Day & Wine and Cheese Day

Wednesday, July 26 – Americans With Disabilities Day & Aunts and Uncles Day & Bagelfest Day

Night Sky, 7/26: Jupiter (magnitude –2.3, in Aries) rises around 1 am in the east-northeast. By the beginning of dawn it shines high toward the east-southeast.

Thursday, July 27 – Black Women's Equal Pay Day & Love Is Kind Day & Walk On Stilts Day

Do milkshakes come from dancing cows? / Were the Raptor dinosaurs singers?

It's so hot Jehovah's Witnesses have started telemarketing.

..........Those politicians keep telling lies..........Cat Stevens …..All Nights, All Days

^^ Before the Prohibition Era, which began in 1919, there existed no minimum alcohol purchase or public possession age.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's easy to think of Ayn Rand as a terrible person with an evil philosophy, but if you've ever read her books you'd know she was also a terrible writer. --Submitted by Anti-Capitalist Education

Moonbeam: The only weapon we have is comedy. --Robin Williams

Video of the Week: 2½ minutes of Robin Williams being really, really funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmqmyYRi-lU

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Now that writers and actors are not going to work, what will be the next season's hit tv show? A test of the Emergency Broadcasting System. --Emmy Blotnik Comedians in cars driving for Uber. --Joyelle Nicole Johnson Meta reality shows like Inside Keeping Up With the Kardashians and The Making of Inside Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Son of The True History of the Making of Inside Keeping Up With the Kardashians. --Adam Felber Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 7/15/23

It is the cultivation of our own natures that is aimed at and not the imitation of the nature of another. The powers of our own mind are to be drawn out. --Hallie Quinn Brown Colored Women's League

Do all robbers wear sneakers? / If the ocean is dangerous, how come it waves?

It's so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.

..........I let the music take me where my heart wants to go..........Cat Stevens …..The Wind

^^^ During Prohibition, people were allowed to make their own personal alcohol (up to a certain annual limit) regardless of age. No person of any age could sell or transport alcohol.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The four seasons are Depression, Allergies, Tomatoes, and Spooky. --Submitted by StoreHouse

Weird Word of the Week: Bibble – a small smooth rounded stone -a rock fragment (smaller than a cobble but larger than a granule. https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/bibble#:~:text=Definition%20of%20'bibble'&text=a.,but%20larger%20than%20a%20granule

Dragon of the Week: Craig Silverman's three headed dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Speed up the time it takes to defrost frozen meat. Place a few sheets of Bounty Paper Towels on the counter top, place a trivet (or a grill from one of the stove burners) on top of the paper towels, and place the frozen package of meat on top of that. The trivet (or grill) allows the air to circulate under the meat, speeding up the defrosting process. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty2.html

Does a palm tree fit in my hand? / Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?

It's so hot my seat belt evolved into a branding iron.

...........You're only dancin' on this earth for a short while..........Cat Stevens …..Oh Very Young

^^^^ When Prohibition ended in December of 1933, many states established the legal drinking age of 21 years. Some set theirs lower, at 18 or 20, but the majority used 21 years. These restrictions remained in place until the Vietnam Era, which spanned the years of 1964-1975. Some states lowered their drinking ages to correspond to Draft Age. (“Old enough to die but not to drink.”)

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind. --Albert Einstein

Political Slogan of the Week: Drag Is Free Speech!

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: BroadwayCon (21-23, Times Square, NYC) Where Broadway and Fandom Meet https://www.broadwaycon.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Annual World Congress of Smart Materials 2023 (22-24, Barcelona, Spain) 500+ world renowned experts... https://expotobi.com/world-congress-of-smart-materials

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Ridley (Scott), who directed "Alien," starring Sigourney Weaver as Ripley

Do ten tickles make the octopus laugh? / Do starfish only swim at night?

It's so hot when the temperature dropped below 95, I put on a sweater.

..........And take your time, think a lot..........Cat Stevens …..Father And Son

^^^^^ The Federal Uniform Drinking Age Act of 1984 sets the minimum legal drinking age to 21 and every State abides by that standard.

Quote of the Week: I keep reading that film studios are contemplating replacing writers and actors by using Artificial Intelligence to mimic their talents. Surely it would be easier and more efficient to replace executives, since they have no talent at all. --John Cleese

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm so old the first time I had sex was in the back of a chariot. --Joan Rivers

Today's Peace of History, July 21, 1925: The so-called "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, Tennessee, with high school teacher John T. Scopes convicted of violating a state law against teaching Darwin's theory of evolution. It was considered illegal to contradict the Bible’s description of God’s seven-day creation of the world in Genesis.

Are blueberries just sad strawberries? / Are they “roaming numerals” because they move around?

It's so hot Death Valley was officially renamed Hell.

..........I know we've come a long way..........Cat Stevens …..Where Will The Children Play

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 21, 2023, ePistle iNquiry. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith, Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: Do you think God gets stoned? I think so...look at the platypus. --Robin Williams

Cost of War:

• As of 07/20/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $212.237,316,368.
• As of 07/13/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $211.698,881,407.
• As of 07/20/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,151,904,414,751.
• As of 07/13/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,150,400,460,169.
• As of 07/20/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,142,240,673,167.
• As of 07/13/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,141,655,802,945.
• As of 07/20/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,156,994,650,047.
• As of 07/13/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,145,593,522,812.
• As of 07/20/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,034,279,693,112.
• As of 07/13/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,033,137,692,995.
• As of 07/20/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,697,660,179,757.
• As of 07/13/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,682,488,786,207.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

I felt that one had better die fighting against injustice than to die like a dog or a rat in a trap. --Ida B Wells National Association of Colored Women

Famous Last Words: Stand still, laddy. Pink Floyd The Wall

..........Praise for them springing fresh from the world..........Cat Stevens …..Morning Has Broken

It's so hot Siri asked me to dip my phone in a glass of ice water.

Why don't grass blades cut my feet? / Is the boat at the dock because it's sick?

May Peace lead your way

And Joy be your companion

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

nAtional ePistle

 Famous First Words: I do not come here as an advocate... The Freedom Or Death speech by Emmeline Pankhurst 11/13/1913

I don't know why, but here in Austria, every diner calls their burgers “American burgers” if they're considered above average in size. --JuicyKay / Why are there no knock knock jokes about the United States. Because freedom rings.

..........As I went walking that ribbon of a highway.........Woody Guthrie …..This Land Is Your Land

I have made speeches urging women to adopt methods of rebellion such as have been adopted by men in every revolution. --Emmeline Pankhurst

It is a lovely Friday morning in July. The sky is a pale blue with only a few clouds – all of them cottony and small. With a temperature of 80°F and a relative humidity of 74%, the morning invites walks and rides. Light winds (4 mph) give a rhythm and grace to the willow branches and make the mulberry tree seem to be waving back in appreciation. Occasional bird calls ring out but the primary soundtrack sounds are motors and door slams and truck rumbles. A hawk flies over, low, looking for breakfast...a crow sits on the top of a power pole and watches while his murder roams the neighborhood. Field sunflowers wave in the wind causing yellow flicks among the moving leaves; and now a small bird with a yellow head is eating sunflower seeds. What a lovely scene out my window this morning. I take a swig of hot black tea, smile again at the moving picture outside my room, and sit down to write to you. Ahhh, it really is a wonderful world.

Have a terrific weekend, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't get it? This trail looked so flat on the map.

In the Netherlands, a tumor in fatty tissue is called “Amerikaenker.” --Gooi-a-weg / The United States used to have a law against loitering (sitting or standing around doing nothing) Now it's named Impersonating a Politician.

..........But our union's gonna break them slavery chains.........Woody Guthrie …..Tear The Fascists Down

Trivia Questions: Happy Bastille Day !

• ^ Who was it that actually stormed the Bastille?
• ^^ Why did they storm the Bastille?
• ^^^ Did anyone die in the raid?
• ^^^^ How many prisoners did the revolutionaries release?
• ^^^^^ What happened to the Bastille itself?

Big Hello: Khulumkha – Kokborok (India) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sometimes, when a door closes, you need to nail a board over it. --Submitted by jm of ks

Image of the Week: Pencils are still down in the writer's strike. I found this picture of Stephen Colbert while I was watching my second (more?) month of reruns of Stephen Colbert.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 99% of librarian vacations include a visit to at least one library. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

The largest burger in McDonald's in Israel is called the “Big America.” / Today I learned that the United States has more museums than Starbucks and McDonald's combined. FYI: Starbucks and McDonald's have a combined total of zero museums.

..........My poor feet have traveled a hot dusty road.........Woody Guthrie …..Pastures Of Plenty

Moonbeam: I believe the second half of one's life is meant to be better than the first half. The first half is finding out how you do it. And the second half is enjoying it. --Frances Lear

Question of the Week: Why not?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Darwin Lange, of Mandan, ND: Name a sports facility in two words. (This is a general term, not a specific place.) Three consecutive letters in the first word also appear consecutively in the same order in the second word. If you reverse these three letters, you'll name something seen in this sports facility. What is it?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. --Somerset Maugham

To “have an American” in Ireland means pleasuring yourself. (Yank – Wank) / In Canada, when you drive up to a stop sign and no one is around, so you slow down but don't actually stop before accelerating again, you're doing an “American stop”. / The United States and the rest of the world only seem to reach consensus when it's -40°.

..........Your power is turning our darkness to dawn.........Woody Guthrie …..Roll On Columbia

^ The revolutionaries who stormed the Bastille were mostly craftsmen and store owners who lived in Paris. They were members of a French social class called the Third Estate. There were around 1000 people who participated in the attack.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 14, 2023. The moon will be new on Monday (7/17) and it is in Gemini. It is International Nude Day, National Macaroni and Cheese Day, Robin Hood Days, Shark Awareness Day, and Bastille Day (France, Guiana, Polynesia, Guadel, and Martinique). Because it is the second Friday it is also Collector Car Appreciation Day and National Motorcycle Day.

Among those born on this day were Andrea del Sarto (1486), James Abbott McNeill Whistler (1834), Emmeline Pankhurst (1858), Gustav Klimt (1862), Owen Wister (1869), Ossip Zadkine (1890), Irving Stone (1903), Woodrow Wilson Guthrie (1912), Gerald Ford (1913), Frances Lear (1923), Harry Dean Stanton (1926), John Chancellor (1927), Polly Bergen (19320), Roosevelt Grier (1932), Chris Cross (1952), and Princess Victoria (1977).

On July 14 citizens of Paris stormed the Bastille prison (1789), opium was exempted from federal tariff duty (1832), postage stamps began provisionally used (NYC, 1845), machine made ice was first demonstrated (1850), the first Industrial Exposition opened (NYC, 1853), Goddard patented his first liquid fueled rocket design (1914), the first commercial air flight deplaned in Hawaii (1927), Citation became the first horse to win a million dollars (1951), Greyhouse bought Trailways for $80 million (1987), and Steve Miller got a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame (1987).

Night Sky, 7/14: After dark Altair shines in the east-southeast. It's the second-brightest star on the eastern side of the sky, after Vega high to its upper left. The third star of the Summer Triangle is Deneb, less bright, to their left. Above Altair by a finger-width at arm's length is little Tarazed, 3rd magnitude and orange, which helps to identify it. Altair is a fast-spinning, white type-A star, somewhat larger and hotter than the Sun, only 17 light-years away. It spins so fast that, using interferometry, astronomers were able in 1999 to confirm that it is widened around its equator into a very ellipsoid shape. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The pearls of Seattle

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A dictator walks into a bar and orders everybody around. --Dave Lippman

This Week: Saturday, July 15 – National Give Something Away Day & World Youth Skills Day & St. Swithin's Day (If it rains on St. Swithin's Day, it will rain for 40 days, but if it is fair, 40 days of fair weather will follow)

Sunday, July 16 – National Ice Cream Day & World Snake Day

Night Sky, 7/16: The tail of Scorpius is low due south after dark, to the lower right of the Sagittarius Teapot. How low depends on how far north or south you live: the farther south, the higher. Look for the two stars especially close together in the tail. These are Lambda and fainter Upsilon Scorpii, known as the Cat's Eyes. They're 0.6° apart and canted at an angle; the cat is tilting its head to the right. And the cat has a bleary eye; Upsilon is fainter than Lambda (they're magnitudes 2.6 and 1.6). Both are blue-white giants, 500 and 700 light years away, respectively. Yes, the fainter one is the nearer one. Between the Cat's Eyes and the Teapot's spout are the open star clusters M6 and especially M7.

Monday, July 17 – National Hot Dog Day & Record Store Day & National Get Out of the Doghouse Day

Tuesday, July 18 – National Caviar Day & Nelson Mandela International Day

Wednesday, July 19 – Flitch Day & International Balloon Dog Day & Take Your Poet To Work Day

Night Sky, 7/19: Venus (magnitude –4.7) is the "Evening Star" dominating the low west in twilight. It's dropping sunward faster now day by day. It sets while twilight is still in progress.

Thursday, July 20 – Space Exploration Day & World Chess Day & Moon Day

In Norway, “Full Texas” (Halt Texas) is an idiom that describes a situation that's completely unhinged. / Pretty much any joke made by a foreigner is called an “American joke” in Japan. / Do Transformers get car insurance or health insurance? If they are US immigrants they get neither.

..........Stick some stamps on the top of my head.........Woody Guthrie …..Mail Myself To You

^^The Bastille was rumored to be full of political prisoners and was a symbol to many of the oppression of the king. It also had stores of gunpowder that the revolutionaries needed for their weapons.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Steal a man's wallet and he will be poor for a week. Teach him to be a writer and he will be poor for the rest of his life.

Moonbeam: I am a Ford not a Lincoln. --Gerald Ford

Video of the Week: Emmeline Pankhurst and her Daughter (1910) film (2:43)

There is something that Governments care for far more than human life, and that is the security of property, and so it is through property that we shall strike the enemy. Be militant each in your own way. I incite this meeting to rebellion. --Emmeline Pankhurst

In Russian, roller coasters are called “American Mountains.” (In French, Spanish, and Italian, they're called “Russian Mountains”. / In Japan, an “American coffee” is plain and weak black brewed coffee. / If you speak 3 languages, you're trilingual. If you speak 2 languages, you're bilingual. If you speak 1 language you're from the United States.

..........Tell me, what were their names? Tell me, what were their names.........Woody Guthrie …..The Sinking Of The Reuben James

^^^ Around 100 of the revolutionaries were killed during the fighting. After surrendering, Governor de Launay and three of his officers were killed by the crowd.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Because I can no longer see it, the washing-up ceases to exist! Who said philosophy had no practical uses? --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Weird Word of the Week: Embolalia – Automatic speech; verbalization that occurs without conscious effort by the individual, such as repetitions and filler words. https://www.thoughtco.com/embolalia-speech-term-1690644

Dragon of the Week: Quox, a dragon of Oz

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent a dog or cat from shedding all over the house. Dampen a sheet of Bounty Paper Towel and run it over the animal. The paper towel collects the loose hair. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty2.html

Brass knuckles in France are called “poing américain.” / Potlucks are called “American parties” in the Netherlands. --jugglerO / The United States doesn't use the metric system because the founding fathers had a foot fetish.

...........Comes a-rumbling down the canyon to meet that salty tide.........Woody Guthrie …..Grand Coulee Dam

^^^^ There were 7 prisoners in the Bastille on 14 July, 1789. They included 4 forgers, an Irish “lunatic”, a deviant young aristocrat imprisoned at the behest of his family**, and a man who once conspired to kill King Louis XV. **My source claimed that the Marques de Sade had been there earlier but was removed for shouting out the windows at people passing by. So this would have been some other deviant young aristocrat. Other sources suggest he was still in the Bastille at the time.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Thanks for introducing me to minimalism. It's the least you could do.--Submitted by ma of va

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Imaginarium 2023 (14-16, Louisville, KY) Your Imagination Is The Foundation. https://www.entertheimaginarium.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Data Science And Social Justice (20-28, Providence, RI) https://icerm.brown.edu/programs/ep-23-dssj/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Race Track --> car

If you're “american style” in Chile, you're going commando. -DoveMagnet / The Dutch recently started referring to elections where the debate is media-focused, and not about the policy but about the person, as “American elections”. / The difference between a computer and a citizen of the United States is that the American doesn't have trouble shooting.

..........I've been ridin' in blind passengers, dead-enders, kickin' up cinders.........Woody Guthrie …..Hard Travelin'

^^^^^ Over the next five months, the Bastille was destroyed and turned into a pile of ruins. Today, the site of the Bastille is a square in Paris called the Place de la Bastille. There is a monumental tower in the center of the square commemorating the event.

Quote of the Week: You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete. --Buckminister Fuller

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just for a moment, think of how many gay hairdressers have done Christian weddings beautifully. --Submitted by 98%

Today's Peace of History, July 14, 1917: 16 women from the National Women’s Party were arrested while picketing the White House demanding universal women’s suffrage; they were charged with obstructing traffic. ~~This action is dramatized in the movie Iron Jawed Angels.

In Britain, big refrigerators with side-by-side doors are known as “American fridges.” / A bedroom with a shower in it is an “American bedroom” in Malta. “No doors or walls separating it from the bedroom or anything.” The toilet and sink had their own room down the hall. / The United States seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of Corona by keeping the first one going.

..........You can't scare me, I'm sticking to the union.........Woody Guthrie …..Union Maid

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 14, 2023, nAtional ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: We are bound together by the most powerful of all ties, our fervent love for freedom and independence, which knows no homeland but the human heart. --Gerald Ford

Cost of War:

• As of 07/13/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $211.698,881,407.
• As of 07/06/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $211,125,827,702.
• As of 07/13/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,150,400,460,169.
• As of 07/06/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,148,799,841,293.
• As of 07/13/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,141,655,802,945.
• As of 07/06/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,141,033,309,631.
• As of 07/13/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,145,593,522,812.
• As of 07/06/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,133,459,328,426.
• As of 07/13/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,033,137,692,995.
• As of 07/06/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,031,922,340,901.
• As of 07/13/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,682,488,786,207.
• As of 07/06/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,666,343,162,724.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Trust in God, She will provide. --Emmeline Pankhurst

Famous Last Words: "I've been promised bail, ladies and gentlemen, by my office. This is John Chancellor, somewhere in custody. --Chancellor was the NBC political correspondent covering the 1964 Republican Convention.

..........So long, it's been good to know yuh.........Woody Guthrie …..Dusty Old Dust

Multiple-choice questions are called “American questions” in Israel. --AaronRamsay / Switzerland has Doritos with “Cool American” flavor. / A Canadian visits the United States and gets held at gunpoint by a stranger. The stranger says, “Give me all your money and I'll let you live.” The Canadian replies gleefully, “Oh, You must be what they call a doctor.”

May Peace fill your heart

And Joy fill your mind

prairie mama

christine

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jEan's ePistle

 Famous First Words: Whereas the Government of the Republic of Hawaii... Joint Resolution to provide for annexing the Hawaiian Islands to the United States.

Happy Birthday to Jean Kerr! Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze? --Jean Kerr / Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries. --Jean Kerr

Alternative Titles for the Iliad: 1) Hell, Naughty Trojans, It's Murder Time

..........I hear the clock a-tickin' on the mantel shelf .........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..Don't Pass me By ~~One of Ringo's solo song writing credits.

God almighty made women and the Rockefeller gang of thieves made the ladies. --Mother Harris Jones

It is a chilly (66°F) Friday morning. Clouds have formed a cover across the sky, but the sun has come up enough to find thin spots. Shadows are manifesting themselves on the shed wall. A breeze from the southeast insists that we notice the chill. The willow branches dance and the mulberry tree waves in appreciation or sympathy. Birds are relatively silent at the moment; perhaps they have decided to sleep in while the cool wind blows. An aroma filled with summer abundance, foliage and flowers gives the world a smell of hope and plenty. Puck has been for his walk and is now sleeping on the blanket that he has pulled off this pillow so that he can take up an extra spot on the floor. (He thinks our room is half his so he should get half the space.) He makes tiny snoring noises now and then. I am settled in at my computer. I glance out my window to check the willow dance once more just before writing to you. I raise my steaming cup of decaf to you, good morning.

May your weekend be filled with peace, love, and rock and roll, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Most people don't think I'm as old as I am until they hear me stand up. --Submitted by INRITH

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. --Jean Kerr / Some people have such a talent for making the best of a bad situation that they go around creating bad situations so they can make the best of them. --Jean Kerr

2) 100 Times A Therapist Was Needed

..........Two pounds, ten a week, that was my pay.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..Maggie Mae

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to Robert Heinlein.

• ^ Do you have any idea where Robert was born?
• ^^ Which military academy did Robert attend?
• ^^^ Robert's first novel was not published in his lifetime. Do you know which novel that is?
• ^^^^ How many novels did Robert write, more or less?
• ^^^^^ What are his most popular works? (or just your favorite?)

Big Hello: Chikaano – Kosati (Louisiana) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Image of the Week: I goggled Dive Bar Lawrence KS and came up with 2 names: Harbour Lights and Louise's. This is Harbour Lights

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 14% of public library employees are only there so they can get the bestsellers before everyone else. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house. --Jean Kerr / The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. --Jean Kerr

3) This War Really Wasn't Worth It

..........I need somebody to love.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..With A Little Help From My Friends

Moonbeam: Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done. --Robert Heinlein

Question of the Week: Where's the beef?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Greg VanMechelen, of Berkeley, Calif. Name a well-known TV character (5,6). Change the first letter of her first name to a Y and read it backward. You'll get a synonym of the character's last name. Who was it?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: England has no eye bank but it does have a Liverpool. --Submitted by sd of co

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? --Jean Kerr / Now the thing about having a baby – and I can't be the first person to have noticed this – is that thereafter you have it. --Jean Kerr

4) Fight Club: But It's Just Achilles

..........And the band begins to play.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..Yellow Submarine

^ Heinlein was born in Butler, MO but his family moved to Kansas City when he was a few months old. He grew up in KC. ~~I was unable to find an address for him. If you look up Disney, you find addresses of his house, his business, pictures, stories.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 7, 2023. The moon will be at the last quarter on Monday (7/10) and is in Pisces. July 7^th is Chocolate Day, Dive Bar Day, Father-Daughter Take A Walk Together Day, Global Forgiveness Day, National Day of Rock n' Roll, and Tell The Truth Day.

Among those born on this day were Gustav Mahler (1850), Marc Chagall (1887), George Cukor (1899), Satchel Paige (1906), Robert Heinlein (1907), Gian Carlo Menotti (1911), William Kunstler (1919), Jean Kerr (1923), Doc Severinson (1927), Ringo Starr (1940), and Shelley Duvall (1949).

On July seventh Kings College in NYC opened (1754, Renamed Columbia College), the US annexed California (1846), Peters discovered Asteroid #92 (Undina, 1867), the US annexed Hawaii (1898), Charlois discovered asteroid #537 (1904), Hertzsprung discovered asteroid #1702 (1924), Mother Frances Xavier Cabarini was canonized as the first American saint (1946), and the first solar-powered aircraft crossed the English Channel (1980).

Night Sky, 7/7: Upper left of Venus in twilight, Mars is now less than 2° from Regulus, which is slightly brighter. Once you've spotted Venus after sunset (or possibly even before sunset), how much longer until you definitely detect the star, then the planet? Regulus is magnitude 1.4, Mars is 1.7, meaning Mars is one-third fainter. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: I must go down the the seas again –John Masefield

This Week: Saturday, July 8 – Bald Is In Day & SCUD Day (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama) & International Skinny Dip Day

Sunday, July 9 – Deadhead Day & National Dimples Day & National No Bra Day

Night Sky, 7/9 : Low in the north-northeast after dark, the upright W of Cassiopeia is slowly beginning to tilt and climb. Cassiopeia is supposed to represent an ancient queen of Ethiopia, or maybe her chair. Above her is the house-shaped constellation pattern of her dimmer husband, King Cepheus. Or maybe that's his blocky head in profile

Monday, July 10 – Don't Step On A Bee Day & Kitten Day & US Energy Independence Day

Tuesday, July 11 – Cheer Up The Lonely Day & Cow Appreciation Day & Make Your Own Sundae Day

Wednesday, July 12 – National Jello-O Day & Simplicity Day & Paper Bag Day

Night Sky, 7/12: Jupiter (magnitude –2.2, in Aries) rises around 1 or 2 am in the east-northeast. By the beginning of dawn it's shining well up in the east.

Thursday, July 13 – National Be Your Own Hero Day & National Nitrogen Ice Cream Day

5) Patroclus Didn't Deserve This

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. --Jean Kerr / Affairs have been going on since Tolstoy. --Jean Kerr

6) Thing Historians Pretend Aren't Gay

..........The biggest fool that's ever hit the big time.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..Act Naturally

^^ Heinlein entered the Naval Academy in June 1925. He graduated in 1929, 20th in a class of 243, and was commissioned with the rank of Ensign. He actually stood fifth in academics in his class, but discipline considerations lowered his class standing to 20th.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You can have my fireworks when you pry them from my cold dead fingers, which are right over there by the sidewalk. -- 98% -_Submitted by sb of ar

Moonbeam: Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. -Robert Heinlein

Video of the Week: Satchel Paige pitching (4:23)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Which presidential candidate's video will be the next to go viral? Simone Biles will do a tik tok with all the Republican candidates on how to correctly flip on whether or not Trump should go to jail. --Adam Burke Wait Wait Don't Tell me 7/1/2

In Georgia where children work day and night in the cotton mills they have just passed a bill to protect song birds. What about the little children from whom all song is gone? --Mary Harris Jones

I'm congenitally vague. --Jean Kerr / I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it. --Jean Kerr

7) Nothing Means Anything We're All Going To Die

.........Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues.........Ringo Starr …..It Don't Come Easy

^^^ The first novel that Heinlein wrote, For Us, the Living: A Comedy of Customs (1939), did not see print during his lifetime, but Robert James tracked down the manuscript and it was published in 2003.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've had crunchwraps more supreme than this court. --Submitted by 98%

Weird Word of the Week: Callithump – a somewhat riotous parade, accompanied with the blowing of tin horns and other discordant noises. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/callithump#:~:text=%3A%20a%20noisy%20boisterous%20band%20or%20parade

Dragons of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Warm rolls in the microwave oven. Wrap each roll in a sheet of Bounty Paper Towels and then place the covered roll in the microwave oven. The paper towel absorbs moisture, preventing the rolls from getting soggy. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty2.html

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. --Jean Kerr. / Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living. --Jean Kerr

8) Hector Gets His Ass Handed To Him

..........Get yourself together now.........Ringo Starr …..Back Off Boogaloo

^^^^ Heinlein bibliography includes 32 novels, 59 short stories and 16 collections published during his life. I am assuming that For Us, The Living brings it to 33.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Radio active cats have 18 half-lives.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Anime Midwest (7-9, Chicago's O'hare Hyatt Regency) Anime Midwest is allot of fun. ~~Wonder who a lots it? https://www.animemidwest.com/event/388

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Festival of the Future (6-8, Munich, Germany) Collective Intelligence of the brightest minds in technology... https://festivalderzukunft.com/EN

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Della Street (from "Perry Mason") --> alley, street

One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is the assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind. --Jean Kerr / When the grandmothers of today hear the word “Chippendale”, they don't necessarily think of chairs. --Jean Kerr

9) There Is No Heterosexual Explanation For This

..........Like the FBI and the CIA and the BBC.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..Dig It

^^^^^ Some of his most popular works include Glory Road, as well as his controversial bestsellers Starship Troopers, Stranger in a Strange Land, and the short story All You Zombies. Heinlein's books were among the first works of science fiction to reach bestseller status in both hardcover and paperback.

Quote of the Week: If you claim to be someone's ally but aren't getting hit by the stones thrown at them, you're not standing close enough. --Stan Mitchell

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't wanna hear you celebrating the 4^th if you're pleading the 5^th in regards to the 6^th.

Today's Peace of History, July 7, 1979: 2,000 American Indian activists and anti-nuclear demonstrators marched through the Black Hills of western South Dakota to protest the development of uranium mines on sacred native lands.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table. --Jean Kerr / You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help. --Jean Kerr

10) F*ck It Up, Achilles

..........I met you in the morning waiting for the tides of time.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..What Goes On

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 7, 2023, Jean's ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith, Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: Don't ever become a pessimist...a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events. --Robert Heinlein

Cost of War:

• As of 07/06/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $211, 125,827,702.
• As of 06/29/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $210,558,145,033.
• As of 07/06/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,148,799,841,293.
• As of 06/29/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,147,214,206,403.
• As of 07/06/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,141,033,309,631.
• As of 06/29/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,140,416,666,710.
• As of 07/06/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,133,459,328,426.
• As of 06/29/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,121,439,638,102.
• As of 07/06/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,031,922,340,901.
• As of 06/29/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,030,718,354,625.
• As of 07/06/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,666,343,162,724.
• As of 06/29/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,650,348,758,760.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Not all the coal that is dug warms the world. --Mary Harris Jones

Famous Last Words: This is Bud Collier reminding you to tell the truth. --Sign-off from the TV program To Tell The Truth

..........In our hideaway beneath the waves.........The Beatles with Ringo Starr …..Octopus' Garden ~~Ringo's other solo song-writing credit.

11) Someone Is Responsible For This But Not Helen --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite. --Jean Kerr / A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself – like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.--Jean Kerr

May Peace warm your cockles

And Joy cool your jets

prairie mama

christine

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