nAtional ePistle

 Famous First Words: I do not come here as an advocate... The Freedom Or Death speech by Emmeline Pankhurst 11/13/1913

I don't know why, but here in Austria, every diner calls their burgers “American burgers” if they're considered above average in size. --JuicyKay / Why are there no knock knock jokes about the United States. Because freedom rings.

..........As I went walking that ribbon of a highway.........Woody Guthrie …..This Land Is Your Land

I have made speeches urging women to adopt methods of rebellion such as have been adopted by men in every revolution. --Emmeline Pankhurst

It is a lovely Friday morning in July. The sky is a pale blue with only a few clouds – all of them cottony and small. With a temperature of 80°F and a relative humidity of 74%, the morning invites walks and rides. Light winds (4 mph) give a rhythm and grace to the willow branches and make the mulberry tree seem to be waving back in appreciation. Occasional bird calls ring out but the primary soundtrack sounds are motors and door slams and truck rumbles. A hawk flies over, low, looking for breakfast...a crow sits on the top of a power pole and watches while his murder roams the neighborhood. Field sunflowers wave in the wind causing yellow flicks among the moving leaves; and now a small bird with a yellow head is eating sunflower seeds. What a lovely scene out my window this morning. I take a swig of hot black tea, smile again at the moving picture outside my room, and sit down to write to you. Ahhh, it really is a wonderful world.

Have a terrific weekend, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't get it? This trail looked so flat on the map.

In the Netherlands, a tumor in fatty tissue is called “Amerikaenker.” --Gooi-a-weg / The United States used to have a law against loitering (sitting or standing around doing nothing) Now it's named Impersonating a Politician.

..........But our union's gonna break them slavery chains.........Woody Guthrie …..Tear The Fascists Down

Trivia Questions: Happy Bastille Day !

• ^ Who was it that actually stormed the Bastille?
• ^^ Why did they storm the Bastille?
• ^^^ Did anyone die in the raid?
• ^^^^ How many prisoners did the revolutionaries release?
• ^^^^^ What happened to the Bastille itself?

Big Hello: Khulumkha – Kokborok (India) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sometimes, when a door closes, you need to nail a board over it. --Submitted by jm of ks

Image of the Week: Pencils are still down in the writer's strike. I found this picture of Stephen Colbert while I was watching my second (more?) month of reruns of Stephen Colbert.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 99% of librarian vacations include a visit to at least one library. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

The largest burger in McDonald's in Israel is called the “Big America.” / Today I learned that the United States has more museums than Starbucks and McDonald's combined. FYI: Starbucks and McDonald's have a combined total of zero museums.

..........My poor feet have traveled a hot dusty road.........Woody Guthrie …..Pastures Of Plenty

Moonbeam: I believe the second half of one's life is meant to be better than the first half. The first half is finding out how you do it. And the second half is enjoying it. --Frances Lear

Question of the Week: Why not?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Darwin Lange, of Mandan, ND: Name a sports facility in two words. (This is a general term, not a specific place.) Three consecutive letters in the first word also appear consecutively in the same order in the second word. If you reverse these three letters, you'll name something seen in this sports facility. What is it?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. --Somerset Maugham

To “have an American” in Ireland means pleasuring yourself. (Yank – Wank) / In Canada, when you drive up to a stop sign and no one is around, so you slow down but don't actually stop before accelerating again, you're doing an “American stop”. / The United States and the rest of the world only seem to reach consensus when it's -40°.

..........Your power is turning our darkness to dawn.........Woody Guthrie …..Roll On Columbia

^ The revolutionaries who stormed the Bastille were mostly craftsmen and store owners who lived in Paris. They were members of a French social class called the Third Estate. There were around 1000 people who participated in the attack.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 14, 2023. The moon will be new on Monday (7/17) and it is in Gemini. It is International Nude Day, National Macaroni and Cheese Day, Robin Hood Days, Shark Awareness Day, and Bastille Day (France, Guiana, Polynesia, Guadel, and Martinique). Because it is the second Friday it is also Collector Car Appreciation Day and National Motorcycle Day.

Among those born on this day were Andrea del Sarto (1486), James Abbott McNeill Whistler (1834), Emmeline Pankhurst (1858), Gustav Klimt (1862), Owen Wister (1869), Ossip Zadkine (1890), Irving Stone (1903), Woodrow Wilson Guthrie (1912), Gerald Ford (1913), Frances Lear (1923), Harry Dean Stanton (1926), John Chancellor (1927), Polly Bergen (19320), Roosevelt Grier (1932), Chris Cross (1952), and Princess Victoria (1977).

On July 14 citizens of Paris stormed the Bastille prison (1789), opium was exempted from federal tariff duty (1832), postage stamps began provisionally used (NYC, 1845), machine made ice was first demonstrated (1850), the first Industrial Exposition opened (NYC, 1853), Goddard patented his first liquid fueled rocket design (1914), the first commercial air flight deplaned in Hawaii (1927), Citation became the first horse to win a million dollars (1951), Greyhouse bought Trailways for $80 million (1987), and Steve Miller got a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame (1987).

Night Sky, 7/14: After dark Altair shines in the east-southeast. It's the second-brightest star on the eastern side of the sky, after Vega high to its upper left. The third star of the Summer Triangle is Deneb, less bright, to their left. Above Altair by a finger-width at arm's length is little Tarazed, 3rd magnitude and orange, which helps to identify it. Altair is a fast-spinning, white type-A star, somewhat larger and hotter than the Sun, only 17 light-years away. It spins so fast that, using interferometry, astronomers were able in 1999 to confirm that it is widened around its equator into a very ellipsoid shape. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The pearls of Seattle

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A dictator walks into a bar and orders everybody around. --Dave Lippman

This Week: Saturday, July 15 – National Give Something Away Day & World Youth Skills Day & St. Swithin's Day (If it rains on St. Swithin's Day, it will rain for 40 days, but if it is fair, 40 days of fair weather will follow)

Sunday, July 16 – National Ice Cream Day & World Snake Day

Night Sky, 7/16: The tail of Scorpius is low due south after dark, to the lower right of the Sagittarius Teapot. How low depends on how far north or south you live: the farther south, the higher. Look for the two stars especially close together in the tail. These are Lambda and fainter Upsilon Scorpii, known as the Cat's Eyes. They're 0.6° apart and canted at an angle; the cat is tilting its head to the right. And the cat has a bleary eye; Upsilon is fainter than Lambda (they're magnitudes 2.6 and 1.6). Both are blue-white giants, 500 and 700 light years away, respectively. Yes, the fainter one is the nearer one. Between the Cat's Eyes and the Teapot's spout are the open star clusters M6 and especially M7.

Monday, July 17 – National Hot Dog Day & Record Store Day & National Get Out of the Doghouse Day

Tuesday, July 18 – National Caviar Day & Nelson Mandela International Day

Wednesday, July 19 – Flitch Day & International Balloon Dog Day & Take Your Poet To Work Day

Night Sky, 7/19: Venus (magnitude –4.7) is the "Evening Star" dominating the low west in twilight. It's dropping sunward faster now day by day. It sets while twilight is still in progress.

Thursday, July 20 – Space Exploration Day & World Chess Day & Moon Day

In Norway, “Full Texas” (Halt Texas) is an idiom that describes a situation that's completely unhinged. / Pretty much any joke made by a foreigner is called an “American joke” in Japan. / Do Transformers get car insurance or health insurance? If they are US immigrants they get neither.

..........Stick some stamps on the top of my head.........Woody Guthrie …..Mail Myself To You

^^The Bastille was rumored to be full of political prisoners and was a symbol to many of the oppression of the king. It also had stores of gunpowder that the revolutionaries needed for their weapons.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Steal a man's wallet and he will be poor for a week. Teach him to be a writer and he will be poor for the rest of his life.

Moonbeam: I am a Ford not a Lincoln. --Gerald Ford

Video of the Week: Emmeline Pankhurst and her Daughter (1910) film (2:43)

There is something that Governments care for far more than human life, and that is the security of property, and so it is through property that we shall strike the enemy. Be militant each in your own way. I incite this meeting to rebellion. --Emmeline Pankhurst

In Russian, roller coasters are called “American Mountains.” (In French, Spanish, and Italian, they're called “Russian Mountains”. / In Japan, an “American coffee” is plain and weak black brewed coffee. / If you speak 3 languages, you're trilingual. If you speak 2 languages, you're bilingual. If you speak 1 language you're from the United States.

..........Tell me, what were their names? Tell me, what were their names.........Woody Guthrie …..The Sinking Of The Reuben James

^^^ Around 100 of the revolutionaries were killed during the fighting. After surrendering, Governor de Launay and three of his officers were killed by the crowd.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Because I can no longer see it, the washing-up ceases to exist! Who said philosophy had no practical uses? --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Weird Word of the Week: Embolalia – Automatic speech; verbalization that occurs without conscious effort by the individual, such as repetitions and filler words. https://www.thoughtco.com/embolalia-speech-term-1690644

Dragon of the Week: Quox, a dragon of Oz

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent a dog or cat from shedding all over the house. Dampen a sheet of Bounty Paper Towel and run it over the animal. The paper towel collects the loose hair. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty2.html

Brass knuckles in France are called “poing américain.” / Potlucks are called “American parties” in the Netherlands. --jugglerO / The United States doesn't use the metric system because the founding fathers had a foot fetish.

...........Comes a-rumbling down the canyon to meet that salty tide.........Woody Guthrie …..Grand Coulee Dam

^^^^ There were 7 prisoners in the Bastille on 14 July, 1789. They included 4 forgers, an Irish “lunatic”, a deviant young aristocrat imprisoned at the behest of his family**, and a man who once conspired to kill King Louis XV. **My source claimed that the Marques de Sade had been there earlier but was removed for shouting out the windows at people passing by. So this would have been some other deviant young aristocrat. Other sources suggest he was still in the Bastille at the time.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Thanks for introducing me to minimalism. It's the least you could do.--Submitted by ma of va

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Imaginarium 2023 (14-16, Louisville, KY) Your Imagination Is The Foundation. https://www.entertheimaginarium.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Data Science And Social Justice (20-28, Providence, RI) https://icerm.brown.edu/programs/ep-23-dssj/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Race Track --> car

If you're “american style” in Chile, you're going commando. -DoveMagnet / The Dutch recently started referring to elections where the debate is media-focused, and not about the policy but about the person, as “American elections”. / The difference between a computer and a citizen of the United States is that the American doesn't have trouble shooting.

..........I've been ridin' in blind passengers, dead-enders, kickin' up cinders.........Woody Guthrie …..Hard Travelin'

^^^^^ Over the next five months, the Bastille was destroyed and turned into a pile of ruins. Today, the site of the Bastille is a square in Paris called the Place de la Bastille. There is a monumental tower in the center of the square commemorating the event.

Quote of the Week: You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete. --Buckminister Fuller

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just for a moment, think of how many gay hairdressers have done Christian weddings beautifully. --Submitted by 98%

Today's Peace of History, July 14, 1917: 16 women from the National Women’s Party were arrested while picketing the White House demanding universal women’s suffrage; they were charged with obstructing traffic. ~~This action is dramatized in the movie Iron Jawed Angels.

In Britain, big refrigerators with side-by-side doors are known as “American fridges.” / A bedroom with a shower in it is an “American bedroom” in Malta. “No doors or walls separating it from the bedroom or anything.” The toilet and sink had their own room down the hall. / The United States seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of Corona by keeping the first one going.

..........You can't scare me, I'm sticking to the union.........Woody Guthrie …..Union Maid

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 14, 2023, nAtional ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: We are bound together by the most powerful of all ties, our fervent love for freedom and independence, which knows no homeland but the human heart. --Gerald Ford

Cost of War:

• As of 07/13/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $211.698,881,407.
• As of 07/06/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $211,125,827,702.
• As of 07/13/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,150,400,460,169.
• As of 07/06/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,148,799,841,293.
• As of 07/13/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,141,655,802,945.
• As of 07/06/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,141,033,309,631.
• As of 07/13/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,145,593,522,812.
• As of 07/06/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,133,459,328,426.
• As of 07/13/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,033,137,692,995.
• As of 07/06/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,031,922,340,901.
• As of 07/13/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,682,488,786,207.
• As of 07/06/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,666,343,162,724.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Trust in God, She will provide. --Emmeline Pankhurst

Famous Last Words: "I've been promised bail, ladies and gentlemen, by my office. This is John Chancellor, somewhere in custody. --Chancellor was the NBC political correspondent covering the 1964 Republican Convention.

..........So long, it's been good to know yuh.........Woody Guthrie …..Dusty Old Dust

Multiple-choice questions are called “American questions” in Israel. --AaronRamsay / Switzerland has Doritos with “Cool American” flavor. / A Canadian visits the United States and gets held at gunpoint by a stranger. The stranger says, “Give me all your money and I'll let you live.” The Canadian replies gleefully, “Oh, You must be what they call a doctor.”

May Peace fill your heart

And Joy fill your mind

prairie mama

christine

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