ePistle

Friday, May 12, 2023

hUggy ePistle

Famous First Words: Cats sleep fat and walk thin. --Rosalie Moore Catalogue

Happy Hug Your Cat Day! My cat: Wanna a hug? Too bad. / Cats always get their way because of purr-suation. / One cat leads to another. --Ernest Hemingway

..........Yeah, I've made up my mind..........Jimi Hendrix …..Foxy Lady

We affirm the philosophical or religious ideal of nonviolence as the foundation of our purpose, the presupposition of our belief, and the manner of our action. --Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee Founding Statement

It is mid morning on a cloudy Friday. The wind is making the willow branches dance a lively tarantella while birds fly about finding food and making nests. A slate gray sky without texture fills my window. Only the local quarrel of sparrows is sitting on tree limbs and passing the time of day. I am on my second cup of chocolate decaf, creamy and good. Lighted cones of sandalwood incense brighten the room. A robin lands on the peak of the storage shed roof and struts along it surveying the backyard until she sees something and flies away. Ah, it is late and I too will fly to my task and send this ePistle. Thanks for your attention.

Hope your weekend purrs like a kitten, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: For Mother's Day my mom would like the activism of her youth to not be for nothing. --The New Yorker

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? What's wrong with you? / Meow means woof in cat. --George Carlin

..........Really ain't no use in my hanging around..........Jimi Hendrix …..Manic Depression

Trivia Questions: Have an enjoyable Limerick Day!

^ Where is Limerick City anyway?
^^ What river flows through Limerick?
^^^ What is the highest mountain in County Limerick?
^^^^ Ireland's tallest cathedral spire is on what cathedral in Limerick?
^^^^^ Which US president's ancestors came from Limerick?

Big Hello: Assalām 'alaikum – Kashmiri https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: God gave us all those blood types so that mosquitoes would have flavors.

Image of the Week:

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: How librarians shelve books: 45% - Library of Congress 52% Dewey Decimal 16% MESH 3% That cart over there. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? Go hug a cactus. / A happy arrangement that many people prefer cats to other people and many cats prefer people to other cats. --Mason Cooley

..........way back yonder 'cross the hill..........Jimi Hendrix …..Red House

Moonbeam: Places that are empty of you are empty of life. --Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Question of the Week: What's the first thing you remember?

Puzzle of the Week: A tough one from Joe Becker: The "zh" sound can be spelled in many different ways in English — like the "s" in MEASURE; like the "g" in BEIGE; like the "z" in AZURE; like the "j" in MAHARAJAH; and like the "x" in LUXURY as some people pronounce it. The "zh" sound can also be spelled as a "t" in one instance. We know of only one common word this is true of, not counting its derivatives. What word is it?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's fun that some folks think a secret group of rich people control everything instead of the widely known group of rich people that control everything. --Solomon Georgio --Anti-Capitalist Education

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? A robin just tried to hug me. I ate him. You're welcome. / If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you. If a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. --Alfred North Whitehead

..........You can hear a freight train coming from a thousand miles..........Jimi Hendrix …..Can You See Me

^ Limerick is a city in County Limerick in southwestern Ireland.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 12, 2023. The moon moved into the last quarter today and is in Aquarius. It is Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Day, Hug Your Cat Day, International Awareness Day for Chronic Immunological and Neurological Diseases, International Nurses Day, Limerick Day, National Hospital Day, One Day Without Shoes, and Odometer Day. Because it is the Friday before Mother's Day it is Military Spouse Appreciation Day and Child Care Provider Day.

Among those born on this day were Jan F van Bloom (1662), August II (1670), Giovanni Antonio Ricieri (1679), Justus Freiherr von Liebig (1803), Edward Lear (1812), Florence Nightingale (1820), Gabriel Dante Rossetti (1828), Halsey William Wilson (1868), Lincoln Ellsworth (1880), Heinrich Kirchner (1902), Katharine Hepburn (1907), Dorothy Crowfoot-Hodgkin (1910), Howard K. Smith (1914), Yogi Berra (1925), Burt Bacharach (1929), Millie Perkins (1938), Ronald Ziegler (1939), Anthony Newman (1941), Barry B Longyear (1942), Ian McLagen (1946), Steve Winwood (1948), Billy Squier (1950), Gabriel Byrne (1950), Billy Duffy (The Cult, 1961), Emilio Estevez (1962), Vanessa Williams (1963), and Stephen Baldwin (1966).

On May twelfth England and Netherlands formed the League of Augsburg (1689), Maria Theresa was crowned queen of Bohemia (1733), ice cream was first advertised (1777), Manitoba became a Canadian province (1870), street cars in Louisville, KY integrated (1871), the second NAACP conference was held (NYC, 1910), Mussolini ended woman's rights in Italy (1928), Elizabeth Taylor (fourth) married Eddie Fisher (second) (1960), H Rap Brown replaced Stokely Carmichael as chairman of Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC, 1967), Jimi Hendrix released Are You Experienced (1957), the "March of Poor" led by Rev. Abernathy reached DC (1968), Harry A Blackmun was confirmed onto the Supreme Court (1970), James C Fletcher was appointed head of NASA (1986), Comic Relief 90 raised $4.7 million (4th, 1990), and Cheers closed up (1993).

Night Sky, 5/12: Last-quarter Moon (exact at 10:28 am, May 12th EDT). The Moon rises tonight as late as 3 am daylight saving time Saturday the 13th, with Saturn glowing a few degrees to its upper left. As dawn begins on Saturday they're higher and easier to see http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Only the guy who isn't rowing has time to rock the boat. --Jean-Paul Sartre

This Week: Saturday, May 13 – Indigenous Arts Day & International Migratory Bird Day & World Belly Dancing Day

Sunday, May 14 – Mother's Day & National Decency Day

Night Sky, 5/14: With the Moon gone from the evening sky, use binoculars or a telescope to see if you can spot the globular cluster M5, the Serpent's Gem, in Serpens Caput high in the southeast as evening grows late. At magnitude 5.6, it's pretty easy in binoculars on a moderately dark sky

Monday, May 15 – International Kangaroo Care Awareness Day & Straw Hat Day & Nylon Stockings Day

Tuesday, May 16 – Honor Our LGBT Elders' Day & National BBQ Day

Wednesday, May 17 – Graduation Tassel Day & World Hypertension Day

Night Sky, 5/17: Jupiter hides very low in the sunrise. It'll soon be on its way up for its 2023-24 apparition. Saturn (magnitude +1.0, in dim Aquarius) is low in the southeast before and during early dawn.

Thursday, May 18 – Buy A Musical Instrument Day & Visit Your Relatives Day

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? I'm a fur-midable hugger. / Dogs own space and cats own time. --Nicola Griffith

..........Must there be all these colors without names, without sound..........Jimi Hendrix …..Love Or Confusion

^^ The River Shannon is the longest river in Ireland and flows through Limerick. The river rises in County Cavan and flows for approximately 240 miles before reaching the Atlantic Ocean.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My favorite thing about humans may just be our ability to drench potatoes in mayonnaise and call it a salad with a straight face. --Troy Johnson

Moonbeam: To understand God's thoughts, one must study statistics, for these are the measure of His purpose. --Florence Nightingale

Video of the Week: 20 second commercial for Comic Relief 90 (Robin Williams, Whoopie Goldberg, Billy Crystal) Really Long Address

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: What do you say to someone who just became, like, king congratulations seems weird when his only achievement is outliving his mother and he almost didn't pull it off. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 5/6/23

Through nonviolence, courage displaces fear. Love transcends hate. Acceptance dissipates prejudice; hope ends despair. Faith reconciles doubt. Peace dominates war. Mutual regards cancel enmity. Justice for all overthrows injustice. The redemptive community supersedes immoral social systems. --SNCC Founding Document

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? That's hiss-erical. / I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance – a sharp, vindictive glance. --James Thurber

..........No sun comin' through my windows..........Jimi Hendrix …..I Don't Live Today

^^^ The Galtymore Mountain is approximately 919m high and is situated on the border with County Tipperary. It is Ireland's 14th highest peak.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car. (credited to Ralph Waldo Emerson) https://www.facebook.com/treasurecoasthd

Weird Word of the Week: Agastopia: the fetishistic admiration of a specific body part. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/agastopia

Dragon of the Week: Cat Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Dehydrate fresh vegetables for use in soups and stews. Wash the vegetables and cut them into thin slices or dice them. Place a sheet of Bounty Paper Towels on a cookie sheet, spread the sliced or diced vegetables across the paper towel, and place in the oven set on low heat, occasionally using a wooden spoon or spatula to gently stir the vegetables. When the moisture dries from the vegetables and they attain the thinness of paper, remove from the oven, and store in covered jars or airtight containers in the pantry. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty.html

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? Purr-haps later. / My cat is not insane, she's just a really good actress. --P C Cast

...........I can see my rainbow calling me..........Jimi Hendrix …..May This Be Love

^^^^ St. John's Cathedral is a Catholic church and, at 308 feet, is the tallest building in Limerick. The tower rises to a height of 163 feet.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Kentucky Derby – Amish NASCAR

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Watch City Steampunk Festival (13^th, Waltham, MA) The mystery begins...(It's elementary...) https://www.watchcityfestival.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Women in Tech (12^th, Barcelona, Spain) ...to empower communities of talented and motivated women in tech through leadership development, professional growth, mentorship, and networking https://www.bizzabo.com/blog/technology-events

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Equation

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? Price for a hug – a furr-ari. / Cats have no guilt and very little shame. --Ursula LeGuin

..........Starfleet to scoutship, please give your position...........Jimi Hendrix …..Third Rock From The Sun

^^^^^ Rose Fitzgerald's descendants came from County Limerick. Rose was John F. Kennedy's mother.

My Own Writing of the Week: I promise, dear reader, that I only wrote on days when I have had an orgasm; other days I edited or read or was grumpy doing something else. This is really a promise to myself. I'm much pleasanter company after an orgasm – most people are; and I want this read to be pleasant, really, really pleasant.

I am in my 70s now. I've been having orgasms for 60+ years. My first was when I was 12, alone in my bedroom with a makeshift dildo and a rickety fantasy. I remember neither. I remember the sensation, however, the rapid climb, the slow descent, the sense of calm and oneness with the world. It was my first personal contact with the goddess and with God-ness.

I had never heard of orgasm, not in my reading nor in any conversation I had. It came upon my body as the most wonderful surprise I ever got... better than birthdays... beat Santa Claus all to hell. It was free; it didn't require transportation; other folks didn't figure in at all. The perfect hobby for a young teenager living in a semi-rural part of eastern Kansas.

In my 30s and 40s I could achieve orgasms watching someone from across the room, someone delicious and graceful, someone sexy. I didn't even need much fantasy at all. I once climaxed while giving head.

I did not stop having orgasms when I was pregnant. At climax the uterus spasms, in pregnancy the uterus swells from the size of a fist to the size of a pregnant woman's belly; so it is the spasm writ really large. Sensation swells with it and, I told myself, it prepares the baby for birth (a series of more organized spasms of the uterus) and gives both the baby and me a sense of calm and oneness with our environment. I was also less self-conscious about my pregnant stomach knowing what it could do.

From Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I had my sh*t together once. I think I was 7. --Submitted by RHOZ

Today's Peace of History: May 12, 1968: The Poor People's Campaign, organized by the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) began when contingents of the poor, mainly from the south, began pitching tents in a "Resurrection City" near the Lincoln Memorial.

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? Hug one, get one fur-ry. / “Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause the most inconvenience.” –-Pam Brown

..........They used to sing for the sunshine.........Jimi Hendrix …..Remember

Mother of Today's Peace of History, May 12, 1968: A 12-block Mother’s Day march of “welfare mothers” was held in Washington, DC.,led by Coretta Scott King accompanied by Ethel Kennedy.

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 12, 2023, hUggy ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: It ain't over 'til it's over. --Yogi Berra

Cost of War:

As of 05/11/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $206,679,367,513.
As of 05/04/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $206,128,355,218.
As of 05/11/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,136,380,395,167.
As of 05/04/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,134,841,355,506.
As of 05/11/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,136,203,516,561.
As of 05/04/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,135,604,999,050.
As of 05/11/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,039,316,785,493.
As of 05/04/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,027,650,298,461.
As of 05/11/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,022,492,714,863.
As of 05/04/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,021,324,140,084.
As of 05/11/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,541,074,632,744.
As of 05/04/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,525,550,507,492

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

By appealing to conscience and standing on the moral nature of human existence, nonviolence nurtures the atmosphere in which reconciliation and justice become actual possibilities. --SNCC Founding Document

Famous Last Words: Hand in hand on the edge of the sand they danced by the light of the moon. --Edward Lear The Owl & The Pussycat

..........I think they are calling our names...........Jimi Hendrix …..Are You Experienced

My cat: Hug Your Cat Day? That gives me paws. / As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. --Ellen Perry Berkeley

May Peace nestle your mind

And Joy cuddle your soul

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Fintastic Friday: Giving Sharks A Voice

Friday, May 5, 2023

eNriched ePistle

Famous First Words: Strike three, ball four --Damn Yankees Act1 : Scene 1

April was a hard month for us... We were so poor we thought teachers were rich. / ...we couldn't afford Special K so we had to eat ordinary K. / When I was a kid we were very rich because my dad invested in Lifesavers. He made a mint. / I had a cousin who was a marine biologist. He was very whale-thy.

..........I'm bound to learn to fly..........Tammy Wynette …..'Til I Get It Right

The bourgeoisie has torn away from the family its sentimental veil and has reduced the family relation into a mere money relation. --Karl Marx

It is a gray Friday morning. The sky is blotched with light slate and almost white splotches. Here and there I can see or, perhaps, imagine the sun trying to shine through and failing. 59°F is a lovely spring temperature but the breeze and the damp suggest jackets and even hats. The dangling branches of the willow are waving lazily as are the shorter, newer trees. A single dog barks from behind one of the fences meant to keep us all privately in our own places. Now and again a bird flies by looking like it has purpose and plans. The dog has stopped his conversation and the wind has also stopped momentarily. It is so quiet with only the hum of the computer in my ear. Ah, I pick up my cup and inhale the rich creamy chocolaty steam. Puck snores. And I raise my cup to you, dear reader, have a great day!

May your weekend be Cinco veces Glorious, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe. (not even remotely.) --Neil deGrasse Tyson --Submitted by ff of ks

Florida: Trashy if you're poor, classy if you're rich. / We were so rich we owned Bose music systems and assumed the poor had Sony. Turns out those were just stereotypes. / We were so poor we used to leave the front door open hoping a thief would come in and drop something. /...we couldn't afford punchlines for our jokes.

..........And then I know just when to dream.........Rex Goh and Air Supply …..Making Love Out Of Nothing At All

Trivia Questions: Happy International Roller Derby Day!

^ What are the positions on a roller derby team?
^^ How is roller derby scored?
^^^ Why do the helmet covers indicate?
^^^^ What is “Rink Rash”?
^^^^^ How popular is roller derby?

Big Hello: Witéj – Kashubian (Poland) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest I Read of the Week: There is no pleasure in having nothing to do. The fun is from having lots to do and not doing it. --Submitted by PsyDe

Image of the Week: The NFL draft in KC --a preliminary rendering

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 75% of librarians might say “Good Morning” but only 15% mean it. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats

We were so poor, one night burglars broke in and couldn't find anything to steal; so they woke us up to make fun of us. / ...the tooth fairy left us food stamps. / We were so rich that when my parents tickled my baby brother they said, “Gucci, Gucci, Gucci ”. / … we brushed our teeth with Decadent.

..........Freedom fighters sent out to the sun.........Bill Ward with Black Sabbath …..Into The Void

Moonbeam: People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use. --Soren Kierkegaard

Question of the Week: Whose turn is it?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Bob Bickel, of Severna Park, Md. Think of a five-letter word for things a

lot of people complain about. Add a letter and rearrange the result to get an example of these things. Then add one more letter and rearrange to get a remedy for these things. Five, six, and seven letters, respectively. What words are these?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It is easier for a removable bra cup to be inserted through the tiny hole and placed in the correct shape than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. --Submitted by MMS

My dad ran the garbage collection for the mob so we were filthy rich. / We were so rich that after his heart attack, my dad rode to the hospital in an ambulenciaga. We were so poor I had to bathe in the spring. When the money got better, I bathed in the fall too. / ...a burglar broke into our house and all he got was practice.

..........Oh, thunder only happens when it's raining.........Billy Burnette and Fleetwood Mac …..Dreams

^ The positions are 1) Jammer – laps the opposing team members 2) Blockers 1) Pivot – captain who can act as a Jammer in a jam.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 5, 2023. The moon becomes full (Flower) today and is in Scorpio. It is National Cartoonists Day, Childhood Stroke Awareness Day, Cinco de Mayo, International Day of The Midwife, International Roller Derby Day, National Astronaut Day, National Hoagie Day, National Military Spouse Appreciation Day, National Totally Chipotle Day, Revenge of the Fifth (Star Wars Sith), Tuba Day, and World Password Day. Because it is the first Friday in May it is also International Space Day.

Among those born on this day were Philippe Quinault (1635), Soren Kierkegaard (1813), Karl Marx (1818), Guggenheim de Montijo y de Guzman (1826), Henryk Sienkiewicz (1846), Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochran Seaman, 1867), Charles Bender (1883), Christopher Morley (1890), Spencer Tracy (1900), James Beard (1903), Rex Harrison (Reginald Carey, 1908), Tyrone Power (1913), Ann B David (1926), Pat Carroll (1927), Tammy Wynette (1942), John Rhys-Davies (1944), Bill Ward (Black Sabbath, 1948), Rex Goh (Air Supply, 1951), Billy Burnette (Fleetwood Mac, 1953), and Peter Erskine (Weather Report, 1954).

On May fifth the second Council of Constantinople opened (553), a peace treaty between Russia and Prussia was signed (1762), the American Medical Association was organized (1847), Carnegie Hall opened (Tchaikovsky conducting, 1891), Billboard began publishing (1900), the US invaded the Dominican Republic (1916), Sinclair Lewis refused the Pulitzer Prize (Arrowsmith, 1926), Gandhi was freed from prison (1944), Damn Yankees opened (1955), US tested a nuclear bomb at Enwetak (1958), the Iran-Contra hearings began (1987), and there was a conjunction of the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, and the Moon (2000).

Night Sky, 5/5: Eta Aquariid Meteor Shower. This shower favors the southern hemisphere so it appears low in the sky for northerly latitudes. Predawn is best. Has thrown as many as 50 falling stars per hour. Information AND Penumbral Lunar Eclipse: Visible in almost the entire world except here. They'll see it in Europe, Asia, Australia, Africa, Pacific, Atlantic, Indian Ocean, and Antarctica. (There will be another one in October that we can see) https://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/2023

Fraternal Picture of the Week: “Walt Whitman once said, ‘I see great things in baseball. It’s our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us.’ You could look it up. --Annie Savoy Bull Durham (not Whitman)

This Week: Saturday, May 6 – Coronation Day & Kentucky Derby Day & Mariachi Day

Sunday, May 7 – Beaufort Scale Day & Lemonade Day & World Laughter Day

Night Sky, 5/7: Venus (mag -4.3) is visible above the western horizon in Taurus. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Monday, May 8 – No Socks Day & Student Nurse Day & World Red Cross/Crescent Day

Tuesday, May 9 – Alphabet Magnet Day & National Sleepover Day

Wednesday, May 10 – Clean Your Room Day & School Nurse Day

Night Sky, 5/10: Mars (mag 1.5) is high in the western sky in Gemini

Thursday, May 11 – Eat What You Want Day & Root Canal Appreciation Day

We were so poor we couldn't afford electricity; we had to watch tv by candle light. / ...ducks used to throw bread at us. / My mother got rich playing pool. She's a billiardnaire. / My brother made his money with a dating app for old rich white guys. It's call “22 and Me”.

..........Things ain't cooking in my kitchen.........Peter Erskine with Weather Report …..Birdland

^^ Points are awarded by the jammer passing opposing team members.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Exhaustipated: (adj) Too tired to give a shit. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Moonbeam: It is not wise to be wiser than is necessary. --Philippe Quinault

Video of the Week: Roy Zimmerman and friends in (Tragedy tomorrow) Hannity Tonight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJIV2rOlUdo Roy is wearing a t-shirt that says Fox News is elder abuse.

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Biden will be 86 at the end of his second term. But when you average that with his approval rating, it's like 50. And it's true that this video features Kamala Harris a lot. The Biden administration is doing its best to promote her, which is a lot like selling an airplane by talking about the parachutes. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 4/29/23

The hand-mill gives you society with the feudal lord; the steam-mill society with the industrial capitalist. --Karl Marx

My aunt was so rich she bought a kid to play with her dog. / We were so rich our Lemonade stand sold Chateau Lafite Rothschild (1988). / We were so poor when I was in high school my dad gave me an air guitar for Christmas. / ...we had to play Dungeons OR Dragons.

..........Cause after all he's just a man..........Tammy Wynette …..Stand By Your Man

^^^ There are 2 different helmet covers: stars for the jammer and stripes for the pivot.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Kansans always breathe a sigh of relief when the legislature adjourns... --Submitted by cc of ks https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Weird Word of the Week: Rawky (pronounced rocky) – cold, foggy, damp https://wordsmith.org/words/rawky.html

Dragon of the Week: Longshan aka Lungshan Temple in Taiwan

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Pick up small pieces of broken glass from the floor. Carefully use a sheet of Bounty Paper Towels dampened with water. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty.html

In college my roommates and I were so poor we couldn't pay the electric bill. Those were my darkest days. / ...we couldn't pay the church for Grace's exorcism and they repossessed her. / My mom was rich, She was a juggler and knew how to balance a checkbook. / We were so rich, mom used to bury money in the garden to make the soil rich.

...........Generals gathered in their masses........Bill Ward with Black Sabbath …..War Pigs

^^^^ Rink Rash is when a skater falls and skins her knee.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I may be mentally unstable but at least I don't own a
pair of crocs. --Submitted by RHOZ

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: 34^th Annual DemiCon (5-7, Des Moines) --an interactive adventure with all sorts of amazing ways to be involved. https://demicon.org/34/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Star East 2023 – IT & Technology (4/10-5/5, Orlando, FL) Software Testing Tools and Services https://www.cantonfair.net/event/22881-star-east

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Pains → Sprain → Aspirin

We were so rich I had an MP4. / I'm a data manager for a large firm. I'm not really rich but I have a lot to cache. / We were so poor that all we had for toilet paper was a calendar. Now those days are behind me. / ..we turn our jeans inside out just to get another month's wear out of 'em.

..........Can you hear me calling out your name.........Billy Burnette and Fleetwood Mac …..Everywhere

^^^^^ There are over 1,200 amateur roller derby leagues worldwide.

My Own Writing of the Week: I never cared for sex on LSD. There was too much going on. When I'm making love I want all my attention right there in my cunt and in my mouth. I don't want to space out watching the flowers on the comforter move. But, late in the evening when you're gliding down and you smoke a little weed to slow yourself even more so you're kind of floating between trippy and not, sensation is still intense but the mind is not so, love can be magical.

Drinking has never made me lucky. There was a potential Young Apollo who stopped by my house on St. Patrick's Day with a fifth of good Irish Whiskey that someone had left in his truck. But I'm so little a drinker I wasn't able to keep up at all and kept asking if people diluted this with other stuff like coke or orange juice. Finally, he took the rest of his bottle and went off to find someone who liked the stuff. I hope he ended up lucky and in love.

I'm not opposed to alcohol. There was that young man who wore suits and taught me about shots of cheap Scotch but my second husband, Bruce, taught me to drink good Scotch. Each year on the anniversary of the dispersal of his ashes, people gather and drink good Scotch aged for many years, and we all tell Bruce stories.

I learned to drink Tequila at lesbian parties. Salt, Liquor, Lemon!! Tequila and weed make an excellent combination. They were usually available in the kitchen for a pleasant break. Then we would dance all night. I don't ever remember a hangover.

There was a timid young woman who fascinated me and I tried wine to help her relax but she just got sick and threw up. She was a college student from a farm outside a very small town. Perhaps it was because I was female, perhaps I was inept, but eventually I moved on without ever properly satisfying the lady. She was kind of tall and had wonderful full eyebrows that she used well. But she was so shy. She couldn't relax and I didn't know what to do to help. There have been failures.

Big Mama and I used to drink strawberry daiquiris and play cards on Sunday nights. Sometimes when I was running the Business & Economics Reading Room and it was a new semester and there was lots of work and lots of questions and lots of stress, I would take bloody-marys to work in a thermos. This would go on for a couple of weeks and just about the time I said to myself, "Hey, you're taking liquor to work - every day! Is this a problem?" The semester would settle down and I would stop.

I did belong to a group that called themselves the Women's Thursday Night Drinking Club. It was a Consciousness Raising Group that grew up. That was certainly a pleasant crowd. I'd raise a glass to them this very day!

Techniques from Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: To be wealthy and honored in an unjust society is a disgrace. --Confucius

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Falcons live to be 12-15 years old. So all falcons alive today were born in the 21^st century. They are millennial falcons. --Submitted by bc of ex

Today's Peace of History, May 5, 1983: Over 1,000,000 Sicilians, 1/5 of the island's population, signed a petition against the deployment of more than 100 US cruise missiles at the Comiso Air Base.

We were so poor we unplugged the clocks when we went to bed. / ...we were so poor we often had Hamburger Helper for supper – without the hamburger. / I won a million dollars in the lottery. I decided to give a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $999,999.75. / By the way, rich people do have a sense of humor. But they feel that it, like their money, should not be shared with poor people.

..........Baby, I'd give you my world.........Billy Burnette and Fleetwood Mac …..Go Your Own Way

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 5, 2023, eNriched ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: "There is absolutely no substitute for the best. Good food cannot be made of inferior ingredients masked with high flavor. It is true thrift to use the best ingredients available and to waste nothing." --James Beard

Cost of War:

As of 05/04/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $206,128,355,218.
As of 04/27/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $205,560,144,658.
As of 05/04/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,134,841,355,506.
As of 04/27/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,133,254,306,406.
As of 05/04/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,135,604,999,050.
As of 04/27/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,134,987,817,248.
As of 05/04/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,027,650,298,461.
As of 04/27/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,015,620,222,359.
As of 05/04/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,021,324,140,084.
As of 04/27/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,020,119,176,909.
As of 05/04/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,525,550,507,492.
As of 04/27/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,509,543,226,867.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The pay of the common soldier is also reduced to a minimum — determined purely by the production costs necessary to procure him. But he exchanges the performance of his services not for capital, but for the revenue of the state. --Karl Marx

Famous Last Words: ... and if he is a monk or lay person, let him be anathema. --Second Council of Constantinople

..........There's nothing left to say.........Rex Goh and Air Supply …..Goodbye

We were so rich, we had ice cubes in the shape of dollar signs. / ...we had 14 bathrooms in our house. / We were so poor we couldn't pay attention. / ...that if they were selling steamboats for a dollar, all we could do is run around yelling, “Ain't that cheap?” / At the end of the day it doesn't make any difference if you're rich or poor, it still night.

May Peace ease your mind

And Joy ease your relationships

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Happy National Cartoonist Day

Friday, April 28, 2023

ePistolary vIsions

Famous First Words: When do you suppose the big row will come off? --International Congress of Women, 4/28-30, 1915

Because it is the last weekend in April it is National Dream Hotline weekend. What is my dream job: Oh, in my dreams I don't work. / I had a dream last night that I was vacuuming with the grim reaper. I was Dyson with death.

..........Sunbeams will soon smile through..........Donald O'Connor …...Good Morning

The best form of government is that which is most likely to prevent the greatest sum of evil. --James Monroe

It is a cloudy Friday morning. The sky is almost completely covered with thin white puffs and yet the sun finds cracks and holes to shine on my backyard. I have returned from the doctor (routine, I'm fine) and I'm snarfing down a breakfast biscuit while watching spring roll gently by outside my window. There is just enough breeze to make the willow branches swing but not enough to make the young mulberry tree budge. It is already 59°F - a near perfect morning temperature. The crows have come and gone so only the quarreling of sparrows fills the air. Veronica keeps a close eye on the sparrows at the feeder and also hopping around in the grass. I take a long sip of the coffee that has waited for me to return home. It smells of cream and caffeine and ambition. Alas, it is decaf and the promised ambition is missing.

Hope your weekend is a dream come true, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Favorite Earth Day Sign – Wake Up and Smell the Permafrost

Stalin appears to Putin in a dream. “Why is everything here so bad?” asks Putin, “what can I do to make Russia great again?” “Stalin replies, “Execute half of your population and paint the Kremlin blue.” “Why blue?” asks the inquisitive Putin. “I knew you wouldn't object to the first part,” says Stalin. / Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to diss-a-Brie? I cheddar the world and the feta cheese, everybody's looking for Stilton.

..........But Moses supposes erroneously..........Donald O'Connor …...Moses Supposes

Trivia Questions: Happy Arbor Day – Go plant a tree...I'll wait

^ When or where was the first Arbor Day in the US celebrated?
^^ Would you care to guess how many trees were planted on this very first Arbor Day?
^^^ Why was the name Arbor Day selected over Sylvan Day?
^^^^ How many countries celebrate Arbor Day?
^^^^^ Where or when was the first Arbor Day anywhere?

Big Hello: Ayukii – Karuk (Northern California) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Heard of the Week: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I come in again? --Modern Family

Image of the Week: Lawrence KS Earth Day Farmer's Market

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 35% of library fax machines are programmed to skip every fifth page. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

My partner told me he had dreams of me making love to Brad Pitt. It's sweet of him to think of my happiness. / We finally made Grandma's dream come true. She always wanted to go to medical school and she did – as a cadaver.

..........You were all the sweet things rolled up in one..........Donald O'Connor …...You Were Meant For Me

Moonbeam: The determination of the relationship and mutual dependence of the facts in particular cases must be the first goal of the Physicist; and for this purpose he requires that an exact measurement may be taken in an equally invariable manner anywhere in the world… Also, the history of electricity yields a well-known truth—that the physicist shirking measurement only plays, different from children only in the nature of his game and the construction of his toys. --Franz Karl Achard

Question of the Week: Are we allowed to daydream at night?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Jan Brooksby: Think of a common 8-letter word, in which the first three letters spell a word, and the fifth, sixth, and seventh letters also spell a word. These two little words mean the same thing. The fourth letter, when rotated 180°, becomes the eighth letter. What word was this? NPR Sunday Puzzle 4/23/23

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My emotional support dog ate my comfort food. --speedbump.com

I just woke up from a dream about Roman numerals marching along 1,5,1,5,500. It was VIVID. / We bought our new dream house and I was showing our 4 year old around. She asked excitedly, “What's upstairs?” I just shook my head and replied, “Aw, sweetie, stairs don't talk?”

..........I could jump over the moon up above..........Donald O'Connor …...Fit As A Fiddle

^ The first US Arbor Day was celebrated on April 10, 1872 in Nebraska. It was proposed by the secretary of the Nebraska Territory, J Sterling Morton.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 28, 2023. The moon went into the first quarter yesterday and is in Leo. The United Nations has declared this World Day for Safety and Health at Work. It is also Biological Clock Day, Brave Hearts Day, National Teach Your Children To Save Day, and Workers Memorial Day. In Maryland it is Ratification Day (1788). Because it is the last Friday of April, it is Arbor Day and National Hairball Awareness Day.

Among those born on this day were Edward IV (1442), Lorenz Ott (1748), Franz Achard (1753), James Monroe (1758), Francis Baily (1774), Tobias Carel Asser (1838), Johann Backlund (1846), Sidney Toler (1874), Lionel Barrymore (Herbert Blythe, 1878), Jan Hendrik Oort (1900), Robert Anderson (1917), Donald O'Connor (1925), Harper Lee (1926), Carolyn Jones (1929), Oliver Jackson (Bops Jr, 1933), Ann Margaret (Olsson, 1941), John Creighton (1943), Jerome Apt (Jay, 1949), Jay Leon (1950), Paul Lockhart (1956), and Leopold Eyharts (1957).

On April twenty-eighth parliament demanded supervision of royal spending (1376), Mutiny broke out on the HMS Bounty (1789), French colonies freed their last slaves (1848), Dvorak's Carneval premiered (1892), the air conditioner was patented (1914), the first commercial flight across the Pacific took off (1937), Thor Heyerdahl in the Kon-Tiki set sail from Peru for Polynesia (1947), Charles de Gaulle resigned as president of France (1969), the last Americans were evacuated from Saigon (1975), Billy Martin was named Yankee manager for the fourth time (1985), Chernobyl had a melt down (1986), space shuttle Discovery 12 was launched (STS 30, 1991), and Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (1999).

Night Sky 4/29 : The Moon shines high toward the south-southwest after dark. It's hanging off the crook of the Leo Sickle, which is nearly upright. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week A: Ollie meets Shrek and Pinocchio and Fiona.

Fraternal Picture of the Week B: Max at his first T-ball game – The Little Harbor Company

This Week: Saturday, April 29 – Bob Wills** Day & Independent Bookstore Day & International Sculpture Day ** Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys My Little Home in San Antone

Sunday, April 30 – Beltane & National First Ladies Day & National Honesty Day

Night Sky, 4/30: Face north just after nightfall, look very high, and you'll find the Pointers, the end stars of the Big Dipper's bowl, on the meridian pointing toward Polaris straight down below. From the Pointers to Polaris is about three fists at arm's length.

Monday, May 1 – Beltane & May Day & Global Love Day & Hug Your Cat Day & Mother Goose Day

Tuesday, May 2 – Foster Care Day & International Harry Potter Day & World Tuna Day

Wednesday, May 3 – Public Radio Day & Wild Koala Day & World Press Freedom Day

Night Sky, 5/3: Mars is crossing central Gemini this week. Look for it high in the west in early evening, lower later. It's upper left of Venus by about three fists at arm's length, and it's below Pollux and Castor. Mars shows a slightly deeper orange tint. It is drawing closer to Pollux and Castor and will line up with them, to their left, on the evening of May 16th.

Thursday, May 4 – Intergalactic Star Wars Day – May the Fourth Be With You & International Respect For Chickens Day

Ever have one of those dreams where you're weightless? 0mg. / It's been a long-term dream to convert a lighthouse; but the project has been off and on for years now.

.........Just slip on a banana peel the world's at your feet..........Donald O'Connor …...Make 'Em Laugh

^^ It's estimated that over 1 million trees were planted in Nebraska on the first Arbor Day.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The best time to plant a tree was 100 years ago. The second best time? Today! --Mike H Odetalia --Submitted by bd of ny

Moonbeam: Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity. --Thor Heyerdahl

Video of the Week: Donald O'Connor singing Make Em Laugh from Singing In The Rain https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUmQoYECogA (3:26)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The white house is surrounded, of course, by high tech security but a two year old master criminal figured out you could just slip through the bars in the fence. The toddler's parents ... yelling for help while thinking we could just run. He'd be raised by the president and we could go to restaurants again. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 4/22/23

It was by one Union that we achieved our independence and liberties, and by it alone can they be maintained. --James Monroe

We're the Dream Team – everyone of us has been caught sleeping at work. / Yo papa's so fat even his hopes and dreams are on weight watchers.

..........You're the cat's meow..........Donald O'Connor …...All I Do Is Dream Of You

^^^ Arbor Day was almost called Sylvan Day, coming from the Latin word “Silva,” meaning “of the forest” or “woodland.” J. Sterling Morton decided against this name because he wanted to include all types of trees, not just forest trees.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This is America – where you are free to be shot if you ring the wrong doorbell or pull into the wrong driveway. --Submitted by Thoughts From Aisle 4

Weird Word of the Week: Christofascism – a distortion of Christianity that denotes an intersection between fascism and Christianity. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Christofascist

Dragon of the Week: The Sneinton Dragon of Nottingham --Submitted by vr of TH

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent a cake from sticking to the pan. When you take the pan out of the oven, place it on a damp sheet of Bounty Paper Towel for several minutes. The dampness cools the pan and the cake, averting a sticky mess. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty.html

I had a dream the other night. I was in the old West riding in a stagecoach. Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulls up to the left side of the stagecoach, and a riderless horse pulls up on the right. The man leans down, pulls open the door, and jumps off his horse into the stagecoach. Then he opens the other door and jumps onto the other horse. Just before he rode off, I yelled out, "What was all that about?" He replied, "Nothing. It's just a stage I'm going through." / I didn't snore. I was just dreaming I'm an engine.

...........Let's dance away the blues..........Donald O'Connor …...Something To Dance About

^^^^ Today, at least 44 countries worldwide celebrate Arbor Day.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dear Earth, We are sorry for everything and will try to do better. Signed, A lot of people who care.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Oz-Con (28-30, West Plains, MO) ..a gaming, cosplay and anime convention nestled in the Ozarks. https://oz-con.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Power & Electrical Engineering (26-28, St Petersburg, Russia) ...a focus on electrical and electronic devices. https://www.tradefairdates.com/Power+%26+Electrical+Engineering-M11220/Saint+Petersburg.html

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Shepherd

Last night I had a dream that I could see a new color I'd never seen before. It was a pigment of my imagination. / I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil. I guess it wasn't meant 2B.

..........I keep tossing in my sleep at night..........Donald O'Connor …...You're Just In Love

^^^^^ The first documented Arbor Day was celebrated in the Spanish village of Mondoñedo in 1594! They planted lime and horse-chestnut trees.

My Own Writing of the Week: What are you thinking? You know that annoying question that women (usually) ask of men (usually) after sex, "What are you thinking?..Penny for your thoughts". I've asked that question myself. Analysis suggests that I did this when he had gotten off and I had not. If I had climaxed, I would be on the same thoughtless plane. Then I wouldn't give a sh*t. And the thoughtless place is where we all want to be, after all - sacred orgasm! I may have faked it or I may not have bothered, but I didn't make it. And the question was an attempt, I believe, to share that place, that thoughtless place. I apologize to any poor soul of whom I asked this.

I would be hard pressed to describe my mental activity after orgasm: "I'm thinking about red rushes and these filmy, fleeting dream images in black and white and the aftershocks in my groin demand attention now and again and a near blinding white light emits from my eyes when I open them. Oh, yeah, and there is this sensational sensation of floating that goes away if I think. Why? What are you thinking?"

Sex isn't sex until you both cross the finish line. Until then, it's a favor.

Let me introduce you to my Vibrator Team. The captain is a sleek and simple, lavender phallic, Armand. He is smooth and dignified with a European flair and a motor he sacrificed early in his career. There is Inanna, who is round and ribbed and rechargeable but with a sturdy handle. Next is the Fox who is small, concentrated and electric. The fox runs special teams when a small space needs extended care. And finally, sparkle, the tiny toss-away with a shag surface that messages any small area to complete relaxation. I generally refer to them as the fantastic four.

AIDS was a serious blow to the sexual revolution. Suddenly one had to ask embarrassing questions and worry about layers of protection. The life of love 'em and leave 'em began to be rocky and unsustainable. On the Negative Side was a much smaller pool to pick from. Positives included a new and awesome reason to seduce virgins.

I hate condoms and I know they are even worse for men. Most men are clueless enough about what to do with them when they are on the penis; after they are off - they have even less idea of what could be considered appropriate. Someone please publish a piece on condom etiquette. This is one of the lowlights of single life.

AIDS has taken several of my friends, one a prolific and amazing letter writer. Worst of all, AIDS gave the cult of virginity new life. The cult of virginity exists within Christianity as well as other patriarchal religions. The oppressive restriction of a girl's sexuality assumes that women are property and that their bodies are property and that their sexuality is property and their thoughts are property and their feelings are property to be prescribed by someone outside of that body and mind who does or will someday own it. Also it doesn't allow either gender to feel the upholstery before buying the car.

A friend of mine told me that a classmate of hers at medical school was a virgin. I was appalled. I never want to take some complaint or other to a doctor only to find out she doesn't even have the basic human experiences that the rest of us have.

Techniques from Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: We look at the world once, in childhood. The rest is memory. --Louise Glück

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just as talking about sex won't make you pregnant, talking about death won't make you dead. --Jon Underwood --Submitted by msh of bc

Today's Peace of History: April 28, 1978: At the Rocky Flats nuclear weapons facility, near Denver, over 5,000 protested and nearly 300 were arrested over the following eight months for blocking railroad tracks entering the plant where plutonium bombs used as detonators in hydrogen bombs were produced.

According to my dream journal, Scarlett Johansson has made 6 appearances this year. But it might be 7; some pages are stuck together. / A woman interrupted the doctor's examination of a patient. She yelled, “Doctor, help me. I keep dreaming I'm a deck of cards.” The doctor mastered all the patience she could and said, “I'll deal with you later.”

..........Come on with the rain, I've a smile on my face..........Donald O'Connor …...Singing In The Rain

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle April 28, 2023, ePistolary visions. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: There is nothing as dreamy and poetic, nothing as radical, subversive, and psychedelic, as mathematics. --Paul Lockhart

Cost of War:

As of 04/27/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $205,560,144,658.
As of 04/20/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $205,015,599,963.
As of 04/27/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,133,254,306,406.
As of 04/20/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,131,733,384,498.
As of 04/27/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,134,987,817,248.
As of 04/20/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,134,189,197,657.
As of 04/27/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,015,620,222,359.
As of 04/20/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,004,091,272,664.
As of 04/27/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,020,119,176,909.
As of 04/20/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,018,964,430,400.
As of 04/27/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,509,543,226,867.
As of 04/20/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,494,203,489,653.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Preparation for war is a constant stimulus to suspicion and ill will. --James Monroe

Famous Last Words: He would be there until Jem waked up in the morning. --Harper Lee To Kill A Mockingbird

..........There's nothing more to say..........Donald O'Connor …...It's A Lovely Day Today ##Disclaimer: Other people sang some of these songs, but the lyrics were likely written by O'Connor.

I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Alas, it was just a Fanta Sea. / Millennials dream about owning a house, but it's a surreal estate.

May Peace sweeten your life

And Joy perfume your dreams

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Veronica as the Grey Mouser