Famous First Words: The Mirth of a Nation --Archie Comic #1.
It is World Day of the Sick. How appropriate, I've been sick and now I get to make jokes about it. Ain't life grand? / I have come to realize over the last week that my favorite drink is the 2015 vintage of NyQuil. / My sick bird is getting tweetment.
..........Music is the doctor of my soul.........The Doobie Brothers …..The Doctor
I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. --Martin Luther King Jr.
It is a warmish (45°F) Friday morning. To the east the sky is spackled with clouds in streaks and bunches that are glowing white on top and grayish on the bottom. The clouds float lazily towards the east. To the west the sky is eclipsed by a layer of thick dark fluff that looks angry and refuses to let us see the tops. A light breeze cools the cheeks and elicits crackly noises from the dry leaves and golden winter plants. A variety of birdsong fills the air and the birds sit at various heights in the bare trees and sing to us as we walk under them. We walk to the end of the cul-de-sac and back; Puck barks at the neighbors getting into their car and the crow who swoops in front of us; and finally he barks at hoodoos in the park. So we return to a house smelling of caramel coffee. Puck drinks his cream and goes to sleep. A cat comes to the top of the stairs and demands to know why his personal chef is still in bed. I have no answer so I remain silent and fix my first cup of coffee, rich and creamy on the tongue, steamy and warm on the nostrils. So far – pretty good day. Best of all, now I get to write to you.
Hope the weekend sees you healthy and happy, ePistliers.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just paid my power bill. Now I have a warm place to starve in.
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row and now I feel a little sick. Must be the high Mercury content. / When ships get sick it goes to the dock.
..........And face the ignominy that old age brings.........Billy Bragg …..A Nurse's Life Is Full of Woe
Trivia Questions: This is the weekend of the big Pirate Festival in Florida.
^ According to history, how long have pirates been around?
^^ Why do so many pirates wear eye patches?
^^^ What do you know about the two versions of the Jolly Roger flag?
^^^^ What does the US Constitution say about piracy?
^^^^^ True or false: Pirates ran their ships according to a democratic system?
Big Hello: Apa kabar? – Indonesian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Respect people who wear glasses. They paid money to see you. --Submitted by flha
Max Picture of the Week: Max and his tiny flight of tiny dragons
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Injuries caused by reading books: *33% paper cuts *40% toe injuries from dropping books *20% injuries from hitting books in anger after terrible plot twist *0% free thinking https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me sick. / Being sick is like taking a day off but in a dead person's body.
..........My face is my fortune, that's why I'm totally broke.........Cole Porter …..I've Still Got My Health
Moonbeam: Good taste is death. --Mary Quant
Puzzle of the Week: Think of a familiar two-word (4,3) phrase meaning "to fight." Change the third letter of each word to get two new words that are opposites of each other. --NPR Puzzle Sunday 2/6/22
Meditation of the Week: If animals could talk, which one of your pets would be the rudest?
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What do you mean, you forget where you parked? You're shopping online. --CB --Submitted by ss of kc
Week of the Week: Dump Your Significant Jerk Week (6-13) ~~Always the week before Valentine's Day --Break Up Lines: I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level. / If you take the L out of the word lover, it's over. / I think we need to become better strangers.
A family gathers around their father who is very old and very sick. He says, “Daughter are you here? Son? Where's my brothers? Is everyone here with me now?” The daughter replied, “Yes, dad, we're all here. Your entire family is in this room.” The dad says, “Then why is the hallway light on?” / I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead.
..........You don't have to take no pills.........Fleetwood Mac …..Doctor Brown
^ Pirates have been around for more than 4,000 years. Piracy has most likely existed for as long as ocean commerce has existed. Some of the earliest recorded instances of piracy came from the Mediterranean in the 14th century BC. Vikings are also considered pirates who specifically set out to loot and raid cities and villages along rivers and coasts in medieval Europe. Piracy is still in operation today, most notably off the coast of Somalia.
Almanac: It is Friday, February 11, 2011. The moon was in the first quarter last Tuesday and is in Cancer. It is Be Electrific Day, Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day, International Day of Women and Girls in Science, Get Out Your Guitar Day, Pro Sports Wives Day, National Inventors Day, National Shut-in Visitation Day, Satisfied Staying Single Day, White Shirt Day or White T-shirt Day, and World Day of The Sick. In Cameroon it is Youth Day and in Florida the Gasparilla Carnival-remembrance of pirates begins. Ft Myers FL celebrates the Pageant of Light (1884) and Mauritius celebrates Chinese Spring Festival. Because it is the second Friday it is also No One Eats Alone Day,
Among those born on this day were Auguste Mariette (1821), Josh White (1908), Max Baer (1909), Sidney Sheldon (1917), Daniel F Galouye (1920), Eva Gabor (1921), Leslie Nielsen (1922), Virginia Johnson (1925), Mary Quant (1934), Burt Reynolds (1936), Bobby Picket (1940), Sergio Mendes (1941), and Jacque Vaughn (1975), ~~I hunted for some Jacque Vaughn poetry but couldn't find any extant.
On February eleventh Henry VIII was made supreme head of the Church of England (1531), the first hospital in the US opened (Pennsylvania, 1752), the Society of Friends petitioned Congress to abolish slavery (1790), Fulton patented the steamboat (1809), the first 'gerrymander" was executed in Massachusetts (1812), London University was founded (1826), the American Physiological Society was organized (1837), Bernadette encountered Mary at Lourdes (1858), Emma Goldman was arrested for lecturing on birth control (1916), US troops pulled out of Honduras (1922), O'Neill's Dynamo premiered (1929), a 44 day strike at General Motors ended (Flint, 1937), Archie comic books debuted (1942). the NHL Players Associated formed (1957), the CIA developed a domestic operations division (1963). Margaret Thatcher defeated Edward Heath (1975), and Nelson Mandela was freed (1990).
Night Sky, 2/11: The Moon shines close to the top-to-bottom midline of the Winter Hexagon: the line from Capella to Sirius. The sky's biggest asterism is the Winter Hexagon. It fills the sky toward the east and south these evenings. Start with brilliant Sirius at its bottom. Going clockwise from there, march up through Procyon, Pollux and Castor, then Menkalinan and Capella high overhead, down to Aldebaran, then to Rigel in Orion's foot, and back to Sirius. Betelgeuse shines inside the Hexagon, off center. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Image of the Week: Bing Dwen Dwen – the Official Beijing 2022 Olympic Mascot Panda
This Week: Saturday, February 12 – Darwin Day & Global Movie Day & NAACP Day
Sunday, February 13 – Autism Sunday & Galentine's Day & Popcorn Day
Night Sky, 2/13: By 9 pm or so, the Big Dipper stands on its handle in the northeast. In the northwest, Cassiopeia also stands on end (its brighter end) at about the same height. Between them is Polaris.
Monday, February 14 – League of Women Voters Day & Library Lovers Day & Quirkyalone Day
Tuesday, February 15 – National Hippo Day & Lupercalia & Susan B Anthony Day
Wednesday, February 16 – Kyoto Protocol Day & National Almond Day
Night Sky, 1/16: Mercury, Venus, and Mars shine in early dawn. They're low in the southeast, forming a triangle that very gradually changes shape this week.
Thursday, February 17 – My Way Day & Random Acts of Kindness Day & World Human Spirit Day
You can tell when a bucket is sick because it gets a little pail. / My poor goldfish is feeling a little eel.
..........So you know there will be treatment.........Counting Crows …..Hospital
^^ Of several eye patch theories the most likely cause is Sun blindness. A navigational instrument known as the Sextant became common in the 16th century and is used to find a measurement of latitude. This is done by lining up a celestial body such as the moon, a star, or the sun with the horizon and taking a distance measurement. Long term viewing of the sun can cause two conditions, Photokeratitis and Cataracts.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The pandemic is getting to me. I need some change of routine. Tomorrow I will scramble my eggs on the back left burner instead of the front right one.
Moonbeam: I admire people who are, by nature, kind and fair to others. --Sidney Sheldon
Strange Fact of the Week: I don't intend to stop wearing a mask just because the pandemic is under control. I haven't worn my dentures for 2 years now.
Video of the Week: Donna Summer singing Hot Stuff https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yg6Y_1_DJyI
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Pig or Human Heart Transplant: Cocaine was part of a cocktail of drugs that kept the genetically modified heart alive during transport. The heart arrived over a very long distance intact and asking for more cocaine. This also explains why the transplanted heart beats exactly to the rhythms of Donna Summers songs. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 12/5/22
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. --Frederick Douglass
If you get sick at the airport, everyone assumes it's a terminal illness. / You know, I'm usually a pretty tough broad, but when it comes to being sick, I can sometimes whine like a man.
..........Hold you in his armchair, you can feel his disease.........Beatles …..Come Together
^^^ The red Jolly Roger was the most dangerous flag. The red and black Jolly Roger flags had different meanings. The black flag with a white skull and crossbones was the most notable, but a red Jolly Roger reportedly meant “no quarter” and the pirate crew was ready to take a ship without mercy.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Canadian women's hockey team thrashed Russia 6-1, while wearing masks the entire game. I wish the Canadian truckers were half as tough as their women. --
Weird Word of the Week: fatootsed – vexed, exasperated https://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-fat1.htm
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie enjoying the snow
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a refrigerator. Sprinkle Arm & Hammer Baking Soda on a damp sponge, scrub, and rinse clean. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/armhammer.html
When my cousin finished medical school she got a job at the Madrid Hilton Hotel. I didn't know hotel's had house doctors. No one ever expects the Spanish inn physician. / Being sick is just your body's way of saying you're way too awesome, and you need to slow down, so everyone else can catch up.
...........Fever all through the night.........Peggy Lee …..Fever
^^^^ The US Constitution authorized a form of piracy. Article I, Section 8 of the U.S. Constitution gives Congress the power to issue letters of marque and reprisal**. However, the same section also gives Congress the power to define and punish piracy and other crimes committed at sea. Then, after the Civil War, The U.S. began following the terms of the 1865 Paris Declaration that abolished privateering. **Permission to attack the merchant ships of enemy nations.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Never judge a book by its movie. --Submitted by bc of tx
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: There are no science fiction conventions this weekend that I could find. So here a SyFy joke: How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two, but it’s actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one’s shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence
Vintage Players One Liner of the Week: Book Hangover: The struggle of trying to reconnect with the outside world after finishing an amazing book.
Actual Science Conference of the Week: Digital Transformation & Sustainable Development (11, Pune, Inida) Engineering Artificial Intelligence https://infosec-conferences.com/event-series/institute-of-management-education-research-and-training/
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: (To fight) Wage War – Wane Wax
Ants never get sick because they have little anty bodies. / I'm so old I remember when the Dead Sea first got sick.
..........There's a pain where there once was a heart.........Rolling Stones …..Dear Doctor
^^^^^ Pirates were criminals by most standards, but their ships and crews were surprisingly egalitarian. Crews used a democratic system that allowed all aboard to have a say in matters. This “honor among thieves” was spelled out in “articles of agreement.” The articles of agreement on Captain Bartholomew Roberts’ ship said that every man on the ship had “a vote in affairs of moment” and “equal title to the fresh provisions, or strong liquors, at any time seized.” These articles were described in Antony’s Pirates in the Age of Sail and also noted that crew members were not allowed to gamble, had to put their candles out every night at 8 p.m. and were required to keep their weapons clean and fit for use.
My Own Writing of the Week: In the SENEX meeting: We were then given a speech about how upset absolutely everyone was by our action. Group W, which had just conducted some research on scholarships, was upset with our demand for equality. Dean Taylor was despairing. East Asian Studies Director Burton was frantic with worry. After the snorts and retorts died down, the sisters explained that we were unconvinced about their sincerity. This drew even more snorts. When I gave my spiel about how we weren't just students, we were staff members and faculty wives as well, a most amazing thing happened. Almost every man around that table paused for a couple of seconds. You could see them mentally asking themselves if they knew where their wives were. It was palpable, that twist of insecurity, of mistrust. Unfortunately, I think it also put them on the defensive. --from An Act Surprising: Friday Night FYI: the faculty wife was Mary Coral and her husband knew exactly where she was; and he was home taking care of the kids.
Quote of the Week: for Get Out Your Guitar Day...My guitar is not a thing. It is an extension of myself. It is who I am. --Joan Jett
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Did you know: Swedish astronomer Anders Celsius died in 1744 aged 43 though his rival Farenheit was convinced he was 109. ----James Hansen --Submitted by bc of ex
Today's Peace of History, February 11, 1777: Vermont became the first state to abolish slavery.
I've been sick for like 48 hours but I'm still gonna order a piece of cake with my soup. I refuse to die without cake being partly to blame. / Sick horses get taken to the horspital.
..........No pills gonna cure my ills.........Robert Palmer …..Doctor, Doctor
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle February 11, 2022, Medicinal ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: How do we know that even the realest of realities wouldn't be subjective, in the final analysis? Nobody can prove his existence, can he? --Daniel F Galouye
Cost of War:
As of 2/10/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $170,545,471,024.
As of 2/3/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $169,990,173,072.
As of 2/10/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,035,454,707,247.
As of 2/3/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,033,904,853,221.
As of 2/10/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,096,954,668,358.
As of 2/3/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,095,351,926,319.
As of 12/10/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,274,274,510,070 .
As of 12/3/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,262,525,144,208 .
As of 2/10/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,945,854,077,972.
As of 2/3/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,944,687,151,122.
As of 2/10/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,523,098,138,775.
As of 2/3/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,507,463,039,879.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears. --Nelson Mandela
Famous Last Words: And I thought you was nice and loved us. --Mrs. Fife Eugene O'Neill's Dynamo
..........Let her go, let her go, God bless her.........Cab Calloway …..St. James Infirmary
Guys, I'm not dead. I'm just sick in bed. Doing a burrito impression. Someone shoot me in the head. / I drank half a bottle of NyQuil and decided to call Elvis on my microwave.
May Peace lead your way
And Joy hold your hand
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
