Sous-ePistle

 Famous First Words: To mobilize the human and financial resources... The Economic Opportunity Act 1964

It is Chef Appreciation Week: A chef joke a day keeps the kitchen gloom away. / Gordon Ramsay was in entertainment long before Hell's Kitchen. He starred in The Lunchback of Notre Dame.

..........Every morning when I rise.........Isaac Hayes …..Joy

We Americans have no commission from God to police the world. --Benjamin Harrison

It is a muggy (81% @ 81°F) Friday morning. The sky is hidden by a gray cloud cover with few variations and no sunny pockets. It almost, but not quite, looks like rain. It even smells a little like rain, but the ground is dry. Birds are out singing and flying. Dogs – seen and unseen are barking to greet the morning. High overhead a hawk flies its lazy circles around the city. 23^rd street is crowded with cars taking and leaving their college students at the Daisy Hill dorms. We wish them good luck but pick a different way to return home. We return home from running errands; return to a cool house and a dog so happy to see us he can't stand still. So I doctor a cup of decaf and sit down to write to you. Not a bad morning at all.

Hope your weekend is delicious, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Rage Against the Machine never specified what type of machine they were furious with but I reckon it was probably a printer. --John Moynes --Submitted by INRITH

Does dropping a dumpling on the floor constitute wonton endangerment? / The environmentalist chef woked to work.

..........And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune.........Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) …..Stairway To Heaven

Trivia Questions: It is World Mosquito Day. How much do we know about the tiny biter?

^ How many species of mosquitoes are there, more or less?

^^ Was your last mosquito bite from a male or female?

^^^ Do you know the best time of day to walk and avoid mosquitoes?

^^^^ How come the little devils like humans so much?

^^^^^ What is the speed of the mosquito in flight?

Big Hello: Hyvää päivää - Finnish https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's so hot today, I just saw a bird blow on a worm before she ate it. --Submitted by INRITH

Max Picture of the Week: Maxwell the sailor man … and grandma Kirsten

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 76% of librarians have had a nightmare that featured the sound made by their library's receipt printers. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

We cannoli do so much to make you laugh at our chef puns. / Chef Rachel quit because they cut her celery.

..........You move your body all around.........Isaac Hayes …..Shake

Moonbeam: Aristocracy is naturally abhorrent to me, and adored equality is my idol. --Bernardo O'Higgins

Meditation Seed of the Week: Whatever happened to Old Zealand?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: One of these days, I'm gonna make the onions cry.

Week of the Week: Little League Week (19-29) --What do parents shout out after little league games? Grass stains / How do little league players hold a bat in the Vampire League? By the wings

Witchy chefs use scream cheese for their frosting. / The cannibal chef's specialty is fish and chaps. / Baker Betty paid her staff on a flourly basis.

..........You need cooling I don't know how it happened.........Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) …..Whole Lotta Love

^ There are around 3,500 species of mosquitoes, but only a couple hundred feast on human blood.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 20, 2021. The moon will be full (Sturgeon) on Sunday and is in Aquarius. It is National Radio Day and World Mosquito Day. In Hungary it is Constitution Day (1949) and in Senegal it is Independence Day (1960). Because it is Friday, Hawaii celebrates Admission Day (1959). Because it is the third

Friday it is Men's Grooming Day and Michigan celebrates the Montrose-Blueberry Festival. Finally the third weekend of August is Kool-Aid Weekend!

Among those born on this day were Bernardo O'Higgins (1778), Oliver H Perry (1785), Benjamin Harrison (1833), Eliel Saarinen (1873), Edgar Guest (1881), H P Lovecraft (1890), Alan Reed (1907), Shirley Booth (1907), Jacqueline Susann (1921), Don King (1931), Sneaky Pete Kleinow (Flying Burrito Brothers, (1934), Isaac Hayes (1942), Connie Chung (1946), and Robert Plant (1948).

On August twentieth the dial telephone was patented (1896), a pilot first parachuted from an aircraft (France, 1913), the first black professional bowling league was formed (National Bowling Assoc, 1939), Leon Trotsky was assassinated (1940), the USSR acknowledged hydrogen bomb tests (1953), Senegal declared independence from Mali (1960), LBJ signed the Economic Opportunity Act (1964), Viking I was launched towards Mars (1975), and George Steinbrenner stepped down as Yankees owner (1990)**.

**Commissioner Fay Vincent ordered the Yankees owner to resign as the club's general partner and shockingly banned him from the day-to-day operations of the team for life.

Night Sky, 8/20: The bright Moon shines under Saturn this evening, and Jupiter shines to their left. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Saigon or Kabul? Where will the next one be?

This Week: Saturday, August 21 – National Honey Bee Day & Poet's Day & Senior Citizens Day

Sunday, August 22 – Be An Angel Day & Chef Appreciation Day & National Bring Your Cat To The Vet Day

Night Sky, 8/22: The two brightest stars of summer are Vega, now overhead shortly after nightfall, and Arcturus, shining in the west. Draw a line down from Vega to Arcturus. A third of the way down, the line crosses the dim Keystone of Hercules. Two thirds of the way down the line crosses the dim semicircle of Corona Borealis with its one modestly bright star, Alphecca or Gemma. Vega and the Keystone's star closest to it form an equilateral triangle with Eltanin to their north: the nose of Draco the Dragon. Eltanin is the brightest star of Draco's quadrilateral head. He's eyeing Vega.

Monday, August 23 – Go Topless Day & Ride the Wind Day & Valentino Day

Tuesday, August 24 – Knife Day & Pluto Demotion Day & Vesuvius Day

Wednesday, August 25 – Kiss & Make Up Day & National Second-hand Wardrobe Day

Night Sky, 8/25: Jupiter and Saturn shine in the southeast in late twilight and after dark. They're magnitudes –2.9 and +0.2, respectively, in or very near Capricornus.

Thursday, August 26 – National Dog Day & National Toilet Paper Day & Women's Equality Day

The chefs' annual award banquet is called the Meat Ball. / At the Chinese kitchen where I worked they played wok n' roll.

..........Can ya dig it.........Isaac Hayes …..Theme from Shaft

^^ If you’ve been bitten by a mosquito, it was a female. Male mosquitoes do just fine with plants, but females need a blood meal before they can lay eggs.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My ass contemplates those who talk behind my back. --Francis Picabia

Moonbeam: Yes, there's one thing I do want. I want to be aware of the minutes and the seconds, and to make each one count. --Jacqueline Susann

Video of the Week: The Flying Burrito Brothers: The Dark End of the Street Dark End Of The Street - Flying Burrito Brothers - YouTube ~~with Sneaky Pete - drums, Chris Hillman - mandolin, Gram Parsons - vocals, Chris Ethridge - guitar, Battom - bass

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie and the Uphill Climb

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: All cars have cup holders now. That's passé. That's boring. The real innovation in drinking while driving is which of these? A, the top-of-the-line Mercedes Maybach, which comes with sterling silver champagne flutes for each passenger; B, the new model Honda Odyssey minivan, which has holders for juice boxes in the ceiling so you can hang them above your kids like IV bags...Or C, the new Ford 150 Tailgate Edition pickup, which has a built in beer keg and tap? --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Summer Break Edition 8/14/21 The answer is A

When and under what conditions is the black man to have a free ballot? When is he in fact to have those full civil rights which have so long been his in law? --Benjamin Harrison

There was a big fight in the kitchen at the Steak and Seafood Stand. The fish got battered. / Wolfgang Puck's first restaurant was named Out of the World because of the number of Unidentified Frying Objects.

..........Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove.........Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) …..Black Dog

^^^ The best time to avoid mosquitoes is in the afternoon, when temperatures are hottest and the insects rest in cooler spots.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: One great thing about Florida heat: You can guarantee no one is in your backseat waiting to kill you.

Weird Word of the Week: w00t (spelled double ewe, zero, zero, tee) –a slang interjection used to express happiness or excitement. It was the most often searched word on Google in 2007. World Wide Words: W00t

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prolong the life of cut flowers in a vase. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into the vase for every quart of water. Alka-Seltzer®: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge comes from Robert Render, of Skokie, Ill. It's more challenging than it sounds. Name a well-known (international) tourist locale that attracts millions of visitors a year. It has a two-word name. The first word is a number. And that number is the same as the total number of letters in the name. What's the tourist site? NPR Sunday Puzzle 3/21/21

Chef Chester wasn't a good boyfriend. He gave his girlfriend a hug and a quiche. / Chefs only make spice jokes when it's the right season.

............If the music makes you move.........Isaac Hayes …..Do Your Thing

^^^^ Mosquitoes are attracted to the carbon dioxide, lactic acid and octenol found in our breath and sweat, and they also sense the heat and humidity that surrounds our bodies. They may also have a preference for beer drinkers.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just found out the company that produces yardsticks won't be making them any longer.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Pulpfest 2021 (19-22, Pittsburgh) Love In The Shadows PulpFest – Join us Aug. 19-22, 2021, in Pittsburgh, PA!

Actual Science Conference of the Week: APP (Advanced Practice Provider) Clinical Skills and Procedures Workshop (20-21, Orlando) Radiology Interpretation APP 2021 Clinical Skills and Procedures Workshop | eMedEvents

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Ocho Rios

James Beard was dismissed from the secret cooking society for spilling the beans. / Tom Cruise is opening a restaurant. He's calling it A Few Good Menus.

..........For so long, it's not true.........Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) …..Dazed and Confused

^^^^^ A mosquito’s average flight speed is 1.5 mph or less. Not very fast overall, but usually fast enough to elude a swatting human hand.

My Own Writing of the Week: Apollo and Daphne's was a brief affair, hardly more than a millennium. It was, naturally, whirlwindish and noisy. Apollo had just finished Divinity School and was on holiday before settling down to the work of forming his worship, choosing a priesthood, writing liturgies, and the other endless administrative tasks of godheadhood. He was backpacking in the mountains and had set up camp under a laurel tree. Yeah, you guessed it. The tree was really Daphne getting a moon tan. She watched with growing interest and lust (causing her leaves to make giggling movements) as he did his evening exercises which consisted of gleaming various colors. He was as yet still learning and on occasion still got greens and browns mixed with the pure pinks and purples. Since it was vacation and he wasn't serious, he soon began shooting beams at clouds to see if he could set them aflame. --From a short story called Daphne and Apollo

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If Republicans don't understand why the candidate who lost isn't president, they'll never understand how vaccines work.

Today's Peace of History, August 20, 1964: The Economic Opportunity Act, which created Head Start, VISTA (Volunteers In Service To America), and other programs that became part of the “War on Poverty”, was signed into law by President Lyndon Johnson.

The old chef didn't die he pasta away. / The old chef died. She ran out of thyme.

..........I don't know how it happened.........Isaac Hayes …..I Stand Accused

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle August 20, 2021, Sous-ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: I never cease to amaze myself. I say this humbly. --Don King

Cost of War: As of 8/19/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,157,291,717,979.

As of 8/12/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,155,319,426,932.

As of 8/19/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,055,042,850,732.

As of 8/12/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,053,702,597,797.

As of 8/19/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $875,996,650,910.

As of 8/12/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $874,311,918,195.

As of 8/19/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $354,729,487,630.

As of 8/12/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $354,343.631,714.

As of 8/19/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,443,058,348,986.

As of 8/12/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,437,678,323,263.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The bud of victory is always in the truth. --Benjamin Harrison

Famous Last Words: I will not survive this attack. --Leon Trotsky's last words

..........Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn.........Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) …..Going to California

Chef Charlie wrote a children's book on the side. His first one was James and the Giant Quiche. / The new French Chef at Game of Scones is so strange. He's really a crepe.

May Peace be your meat

And Joy be your sauce

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Blameworthy ePistle

 Famous First Words: You ain't nothing but a hound dog... Hound Dog by Big Mama Thornton – released 8/13/52

It is Friday the 13^th AND Blame Someone Else Day. This simply means that most of the people will blame witchcraft for their regular stupidity. / On Friday the 13^th our neighborhood Italian restaurant serves Fettuccine Afraid O.

..........Here for the weekend..........Jamie Foxx …..Blame It On The Alcohol

Defending peace is the duty of all. --Fidel Castro

It is a cloudy Friday morning. The sky is nearly a solid gray without very few highlights and very few dark patches. 69°F is a fine temperature for walking on damp sidewalks and, apparently, smelling every pheromone the rain washed onto the street. Wet is the only scent; which evaporates into the nose. It certainly is not wafting on the air. No wind or breeze comes along to move the ocean of green or the dots of color in its waves. Birdsong graces the ear; birds celebrating their survival through last night's thunderstorm and the coming again of light and calm. Now and then a motor can be heard finding its way to the driver's work or to some other errand. Puck and I walk along, only one dog is out in the yard but a conversation of barks temporarily drowns out the chirping. And we return home to the smell of fresh brewed coffee. And so I sit, sipping sweet, creamy bitterness and writing to you. How lucky is that?

Hope your weekend is the luckiest yet, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Exercise? I thought you said extra fries. --Submitted by PsyDe

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. / I'm not afraid of Friday the 13^th; my luck can not conceivably get any worse.

..........And you feel like such a fool..........Milli Vanilli …..Blame It On The Rain

Trivia Questions: Happy Left handers Day

^ What percentage of the population is left handed, more or less?

^^ How does left-handedness relate to gender?

^^^ Who's better at multitasking – right or left handed?

^^^^ Which 5 of the last 10 presidents were left handed?

^^^^^ How is left-handedness an advantage in typing?

Big Hello: Bula or Drau bula – Fijian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Meditation: because we could all use a little sit down and shut the f*ck up. --Submitted by ab of kc

Max Picture of the Week: Max the pirate

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: A tattoo on a librarian's back is called a spine label. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

I'd dread Friday the 13^th even more if it fell on Monday. / No, really...it's adorable when you blame everyone but yourself.

..........That nasty boogie bugs me.........The Jackson Five …..Blame It On The Boogie

Moonbeam: I believe that the influence of women will save the country before every other power. --Lucy Stone

Public Service Announcement of the Week: If you live in Texas, please get vaccinated. You can't trust the Texas power grid to keep your ventilator on. --Submitted by bu of ks

Meditation Seed of the Week: If a candle factory burns down, should everyone stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man. --Paul Gray

Week of the Week: National Motorcycle Week (8-14) –The hybrid bike moped because it was only half a motorcycle. / The motorcycle loved traveling on just one tire. He thought it was wheely cool.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you. / Happy Friday the 13^th. May all your irrational superstitions haunt you today.

..........It's just one more day........B'Witched …..Blame It On The Weatherman

^ On average, 12% of the world is left handed, 87% right handed, and 1% ambidextrous. However, the percentage of lefties worldwide is slowly creeping up as being left handed becomes more socially accepted.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 13, 2021. The moon will be in the first quarter on Sunday and is in Libra. It is International Lefthander's Day and National Prosecco Day. In Tunisia it is International Women's Day. Because it is the second Friday it is also Shop Online for Groceries Day; and finally, because it is the first Friday the 13th of the Year it is Blame Someone Else Day.

Among those born on this day were Johann Christoph Denner (1655), Lucy Stone (1818), George Gabriel Stokes (1819), Annie Oakley (1860), John Logie Baird (1888), Alfred Hitchcock (1899), Buddy Rogers (1904), Alfred Alwin Felix Krupp (1907), Ben Hogan (1912), Rex Humbard (1919), George Shearing (1920), Fidel Castro Ruz (1927), Pat Harrington (1929), Don Ho (1920), Dan Fogelberg (1951), and Danny Bonaduce (1959).

On August thirteenth Huygens discovered that Mars has polar caps (1642), Nat Turner lead a slave uprising (VA, 1831), black soldiers raided Brownsville, TX (1906), the first taxicab began service (NYC, 1907), Satchel Paige (age 42) pitched his first complete major league game (1948), Chad and the Central African Republic proclaimed independence from France (1960), construction on the Berlin Wall began (1961), and the US space shuttle STS-8 landed (1989).

Night Sky, 8/13: As the stars come out, look for Spica lower right of the Moon. They're less than a fist at arm's length apart. High to their upper right shines Arcturus. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week:

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

This Week: Saturday, August 14 – Free Comic Book Day & Middle Child Day & World Calligraphy Day

Sunday, August 15 – Best Friends Day & National Relaxation Day & National Thrift Shop Day

Night Sky, 8/15: The brightest star high in the southeast these evenings is Altair, with little orange Tarazed above it by a finger-width at arm's length. A little more than a fist-width to Altair's left is delicate Delphinus, the Dolphin, leaping left. Above Altair, slightly less far, is smaller, fainter Sagitta, the Arrow. It too is pointing leftward.

Monday, August 16 – National Roller Coaster Day & National Rum Day

Tuesday, August 17 – Black Cat Appreciation Day & National Nonprofit Day

Wednesday, August 18 – Bad Poetry Day & National Fajita Day & Serendipity Day

Night Sky, 8/18: Mercury is buried deep in the sunset, lower right of dimmer Mars. Venus shines due west during twilight. It sets around twilight's end. Mars is deep in the sunset, very far to Venus's lower right.

Thursday, August 19 – Aviation Day & World Humanitarian Day & World Photo Day

It's Friday the 13^th and there's a serial killer at the circus. He's freaking in tents. / You can't blame anyone else for falling in your own driveway. That's your own asphalt.

..........like back beats, back seats, summer heat.........Black Stone Cherry …..Blame It On The Boom Boom

^^ According to the 2008 study ‘Sex differences in left-handedness: a meta-analysis of 144 studies‘, 23% more men are left handed. This study compiled the data from 144 individual studies including a sample size of almost 2 million participants, so is generally accepted to be statistically relevant.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If I was Snow White, you'd never be able to kill me with an apple...you'd have to poison an eclair or something. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: I would like to see every woman know how to handle guns as naturally as they know how to handle babies. --Annie Oakley

Audio of the Week: Flip Wilson THE DEVIL MADE ME BUY THIS DRESS! - YouTube

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie training for the next Olympics

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Everyone expected this Olympics to be a disaster with empty stadiums and unhappy locals and the weird fact that they keep calling it the 2020 Olympics even though it is clearly 2021. But the International Olympic Commission said people have good associations with 2020; let's keep it. Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, 8/7/21

A revolution is a struggle to the death between the future and the past. --Fidel Castro.

Here's a grave situation, the cemetery is raising its prices and blaming it on the cost of living. / With today being Friday the 13th, I just wanted to let you know that I don't believe in superstitions. I'm an Aquarius, and that's not in our trait profile.

..........What are you waiting for..........George Ezra …..Blame It On Me

^^^ Data collected in 2008 by the Illinois Research Consortium showed that left and right-handed people deal with task and memory performance in different ways. Experiments showed that when given two tasks to complete simultaneously, southpaw participants performed best. This is because right handed people tend to solve problems by breaking them down into parts and analyzing each piece one at a time. Whereas left-handed people tend to look at the problem as a whole and use pattern-matching.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: T-Shirt: Dear America, Sorry About Josh Hawley sincerely, Missouri --Dick Brummel

Quote of the Week: We live in capitalism – its power seems inescapable but so did the divine right of kings. --Ursula LeGuin

Weird Word of the Week: Friggatriskaidekaphobia: a fear of Friday the 13^th. Triskaidekaphobia is merely fear of the number 13.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Relieve achy muscles with a soothing bath. Fill the bathtub with warm water and drop in six Alka-Seltzer tablets for a soothing bath to help achy muscles. Alka-Seltzer®: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: It comes from listener Chad Graham, of Philadelphia. Think of a common British-ism — a word that the British use that's not common in the U.S. Write it in all capital letters. Turn it upside-down (that is, rotate it 180 degrees). The result is a famous hero of books and movies. Who is it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 8/8/21

Selma the Seamstress is always busy on Friday the 13^th. It's all that super stitchin'. / In the early 1900s, there were a number of deaths caused by people putting themselves in and trying to escape risky situations such as being handcuffed underwater etc. People blamed Harry Houdini, but I don't think he was really responsible......he was just the escape G.O.A.T.

...........that kiss burned Chicago down.........Rita Hayworth …..Put The Blame On Mame

^^^^ Right Handed: Biden, Trump, W Bush, Carter, and Nixon. Left Handed: Obama, Clinton, Papa Bush, Reagan, and Ford.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I watch people and wonder how some of them found their way out of the birth canal. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: MegaCon (12-15, Orlando, FL) the South East’s largest comics, sci-fi, horror, anime, and gaming event. Celebrities | MEGACON Orlando (fanexpohq.com)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Principles of Sustainable Urbanism (12-13, Venice, Italy) With its high quality, it provides an exceptional value International Conference on Principles of Sustainable Urbanism ICPSU002 in August 2021 in Venice (waset.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: LOO - OO7

People keep blaming the Canadian prime minister. It's not Trudeau. / What's scarier than Friday the 13^th. These awful jokes.

..........with all their hockey hullabaloo.........Robin Williams …..Blame Canada

^^^^^ On a QWERTY keyboard there are over 3000 English words typed solely with the left hand, whilst only around 300 are typed with the right hand alone.

My Own Writing of the Week: Where did the fairies come from? My daughter asked. Ah, my child, it's a story of beauty and birth. The fairies flew to the wood when the wind bore east. It was on an afternoon late in May. Each had wings of silken fluff and rode the breezes and the lifts and the drags and the turbulence of warms and cools. Some raced and some floated but each flew in joy. --From Fairies at the Bottom

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: As I watch this generation try to rewrite history, one thing I'm sure of...it will be misspelled and have no punctuation. Submitted by ab of kc

Today's Peace of History, August 13: In Tunisia, 13 August is a public holiday called “Women’s Day”. The day is a celebration of the improved status of women in Tunisia that came about as a result of the passing of the Code of Personal Status (CPS) on 13 August, 1956.

May your Friday the 13^th be less terrifying than election day. / People refused to sympathize when a load of books fell on my foot. They said I only had my shelf to blame.

..........ooh, blame it on midnight.........Bob Seger …..Shame On The Moon

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle August 13, 2021, Blameworthy ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. --Ben Hogan

Cost of War:

As of 8/12/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,155,319,426,932.

As of 8/5/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,153,334,400,602.

As of 8/12/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,053,702,597,797.

As of 8/5/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,052,353,559,891.

As of 8/12/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $874,311,918,195.

As of 8/5/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $872,615,987,783.

As of 8/12/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $354,343.631,714.

As of 8/5/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $353,958.199,180.

As of 8/12/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,437,678,323,263.

As of 8/5/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,432,262,992,923.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Nothing in the world is irreversible, not even capitalism. --Fidel Castro

Famous Last Words: Oh, I said I wish you were mine. Dizzy Miss Lizzy The Beatles The final song on the Help album released 8/13/65

..........'Cause it's not my fault.........Katie Melua …..Blame It On The Moon

May your Friday the 13^th be filled with many cocktails and no zombie apocalypse. / I blame Mother Earth for the recent earthquakes. It's her fault.

May Peace surround you

And Joy protect you

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

ePistle Foreseen

 Famous First Words: An act to support the fifteenth amendment... Federal Voting Rights Act of 1965

It's International Psychic Week (1-7) When I arrived at Madame Zukunft's Psychic Shack, I noticed right away that she was a strange bovine. She cast my horoscope. She billed herself as the Zodi-yak. / When Phyllis knocked on the door of Psy Chic Clin Ic, she was so disappointed that someone asked “who's there” that she left.

..........The jukebox will cure your ill.........Carl Perkins …..Boppin' the Blues

Nagasaki and Hiroshima remind us to put peace first every day; to work on conflict prevention and resolution, reconciliation, and dialogue; and to tackle the roots of conflict and violence. --Antonio Guterres

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sun is touching everything outdoors and making it bright and colorful and interesting. 72°F is a perfect combination of not-too-hot, not-too-cool. A light breeze moves the willow branches into a slow dance, but not the more rigid trees. They stand still. A bird, hidden in the foliage, repeats a single note, calling to come enjoy the day. All growing things are still green and lush; there are no patches of dried yellow grass or brown stubs or spent flowers. Squirrels and rabbits make the grass come alive with movement and sometimes tiny squeaks and squeals. Puck sniffs around looking for small game or new friends. He barks at the dog sitting with his human but that dog doesn't not answer. Two dogs on the corner however, hold a spirited conversation before I drag Puck back away and we return home. The house smells of freshly brewed coffee and I fix myself a cup, cream, sweetener and inhale the rich steamy mixture and sip the hot sweet liquid. Ahhh, and now I get to write to you, what a fine, fine morning.

Hope your weekend is everything you expected, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Lock your doors this week if you live in the Midwest or people will put free zucchini in your car. --Submitted by RHOZ

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says his advisor, "in her biology class." / I had a psychic boyfriend once; but he left me before we met..

..........Well you can do anything.........Elvis Presley …..Blue Suede Shoes

Trivia Questions: 76 years ago today the bomb was dropped on Hiroshima. What have we learned about nuclear weapons?

^ What was the name of the bomb that was dropped on Hiroshima?

^^ Do you know the name of the plane or the pilot who dropped it?

^^^ What size was that bomb?

^^^^ Do you have any idea how many people died in Hiroshima that day?

^^^^^ Do you know about how many nuclear weapons are out there now?

Big Hello: Hallo – Faroese https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If we wanted to boldly send billionaires where no billionaires have been before, we could just have sent them to the tax office. --John the Scot --Submitted by ab of kc

Max Picture of the Week: Max and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Germ

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 34% of librarians are surprisingly unorganized. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Why did the chicken go to the psychic? To get to the other side. / The only time I used a psychic was when my house was haunted by the spirits of dead chickens. He said it was the worst case of poultrygeist, he'd ever seen.

..........Everything about you is so doggone sweet.........The Beatles …..Honey Don't

Moonbeam: I am a part of all that I have met. --Alfred Lord Tennyson

Meditation Seed of the Week: Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This morning my son said his ear hurt and I said on the inside or outside, so he walked out the front door, came back in and said “both”. --Submitted by INRITH

Week of the Week: Stop On The Red Week (2-8) --The traffic light on the corner has a crush on me. It turns red every time I'm around. / A man is driving across town with his dog. He sees a traffic light and begins to stop. The day says, “Why are you slowing down, the light's gray”.

I tried to make a living as a psychic but just couldn't find enough clients. So, I became a non-prophet. / That fat man that just moved in down the block opened a Psychic Salon in his front room. He bills himself as a Four Chin Teller.

..........Well now come on, cat, get with it.........Carl Perkins …..Put Your Cat Clothes On

^ "Little Boy" was the code-name for the type of atomic bomb dropped on the Japanese city of Hiroshima on 6 August 1945.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 6, 2021. The moon will be new on Sunday and is in Leo. It is Hiroshima Day, International Hangover Day (Always the day after International Beer Day), National Fresh Breath (Halitosis), National Jamaican Patty Day, National Root Beer Float Day, and Sandcastle Day. Because it is the first weekend in August it is also Satchmo Days: Here's La Vie En Rose

Among those born on this day were Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809), Paul Claudel (1868), Scott Nearing (1883), Lucille Ball (1911), Robert Mitchum (1917), Andy Warhol (1927), Swoosie Kurtz (1944), Ken Norton (1945), Catherine Hicks (1951), and Carl C Perkins (1952).

On August sixth a Supernova was observed by Chinese and Japanese astronomers (1811), the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia began debate (1878), Bolivia gained independence (1825), congress passed the Confiscation Act (1861), Gertrude Ederle swam the English Channel (1926), the US dropped an atom bomb on Hiroshima (1945), Jamaica gained independence (1962), the Federal Voting Rights Act was passed (1965), the UN Security Council voted to place economic sanctions on Iraq (1990).

Night Sky, 8/6: Bright Vega passes closest to overhead around 10 or 11 pm now, depending on how far east or west you are in your time zone. How closely it misses your zenith depends on how far north or south you are. It passes right through your zenith if you're at latitude 39° north (Washington DC, Cincinnati, Kansas City, Lake Tahoe). How closely can you judge this just by looking? Deneb crosses closest to the zenith two hours after Vega. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Happy Sandcastle Day

This Week: Saturday, August 7 – Lighthouse Day & Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day

Sunday, August 8 – Sneak Zucchini Onto Your Neighbors' Porch Night & Dalek Day & International Cat Day

Monday, August 9 – Book Lovers Day & Islamic New Year

Night Sky 8/9: Have you been seeing any Perseids meteors yet? For now you'll only see the very occasional Perseid during your observing sessions, but their numbers are gradually increasing. The shower is due to peak later but occasional forerunners begin showing up as much as two or three weeks beforehand. Already the sky is moonlessly dark.

Tuesday, August 10 – World Lion Day & Paul Bunyan Day

Wednesday, August 11 – National Hip Hop Day

Night Sky, 8/11 : Perseids Meteor Shower. 2021 is a great year for the Perseids! The waxing crescent moon will set at early evening, providing dark skies. Start watching for these meteors in early August. Their numbers will gradually increase. Predicted peak tonight.

Thursday, August 12 – International Youth Day & World Elephant Day & Vinyl Record Day

That fat lady that moved in down the block does Tarot readings in her swimming pool. She bills herself as a Clairbouyant. / During the pandemic Paula the Psychic gave up the business and started a clothing line called Medium's. She made tiny t-shirts and little onesies. Now I own a large small medium.

..........singin' seems to help a troubled soul.........Johnny Cash …..Daddy Sang Bass

^^ The bomb was dropped by the Boeing B-29 Superfortress, Enola Gay, piloted by Colonel Paul Tibbets, Jr, commander of the 509^th Composite Group of the United States Army Air Forces and Captain Robert Lewis. The plane was named after Tibbet's mother.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It could be raining men and I'd still be single. --Submitted by PsyDe

Moonbeam: War is an attempt of one group to impose its will upon another group by armed violence. --Scott Nearing

Video of the Week: The Perseids of 2020 Observatory captures peak of Perseid meteor shower - YouTube

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Happy Ollie, Happy Mom

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Who will be the next sports team to change their name? The Brooklyn Nets will be the Brooklyn Gentrifiers. They may not win at first but they'll win eventually. --Hari Kondabolu Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 7/31/21

Has not the atom bomb proved the futility of all violence? --M K Gandhi

How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb? None, but they'll tell you who will change it. / I dated a psychic kitchen remodeler. She was counter intuitive.

........Later on if it turns to chaos..........The Fray …..Say When

^^^ Little Boy exploded with an energy of approximately 15 kilotons of TNT.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob the world. --Submitted by bd of ny

Weird Word of the Week: Virotherapist – practitioner of virotherapy – harnessing viruses to stop cancer World Wide Words: Virotherapist

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a Thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary). Alka-Seltzer®: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: It comes from the puzzle maker and editor Peter Gordon. Think of the word for a competitor in a particular Olympic sport. It's a compound word with a hyphen in the middle. Remove the hyphen. What remains are two words from a different Olympic sport. What words are these? NPR Sunday Puzzle 8/1/21

I dated a psychic once. She called her farts gastral projection. / My psychic friend Martha always rode her bike between the street and the sidewalk. She was a median medium.

...........And time has a way to turning us old.........Dolly Parton …..Silver And Gold

^^^^ In Hiroshima, on August 6, around 80,000 people were killed immediately when the bomb was dropped. The estimated total by the end of 1945 was 140,000. It is very difficult to get a real number because of the nature of the destruction and the chaos that followed such an event.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Hey Hey Ho Ho Creepy Cuemo has got to go --Submitted by rg of kc

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CONvergence (5-8, Minneapolis, MN) The stuff of Legends CONvergence | CONvergence Convention (convergence-con.org)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Geoanalysis 2021 (1-6, Freiberg) Topical short courses will be given by experts. Geoanalysis 2021 | Spectroscopy Europe/World

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Shot-putter — Shot, Putter

Psychic Selma: I don't know if it's better to tell you what's going to happen to you next week or to follow you around just to see the look on your face when it does. / Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than a surprise party.

..........But I've seen the light..........Patsy Cline …..So Wrong

^^^^^ The Federation of American Scientists (FAS) estimates approximately 4,315 nuclear warheads, including 1,570 deployed offensive strategic warheads (with 870 in storage), 1,875 non-strategic warheads, and 2,060 additional retired warheads awaiting dismantlement, as of January 2020. For a list of who has what: Nuclear Weapons: Who Has What at a Glance | Arms Control Association

My Own Writing of the Week: The first off planet science fiction convention (LUNACON I) was held in Base III at the Selene Hilton in 2032. It was necessarily small because of the still prohibitive aerofare and the size of the hotel ballroom. 500 devoted fans and the guest of honor, Norman Lump, gathered to celebrate fandom's emergence into space and science fiction in general. However, it is the tragedy for which LUNACON I will be remembered. The media projector broke at hour 10 of the 25 1/2 hour continuous showing of all 21 Star Wars movies. When the lights were turned up 5 small green creatures with antennae were discovered in the front row. A young fan approached them to compliment them on their outfits; she noticed they had neither wrist bands nor ID badges. She called security. The five fled through a ventilator shaft with a loose cover. Convention and hotel security officers quickly covered all the air inlets. Unfortunately, first fandom representative 133 year old Robert del Pohl and his 22 year old bride, Queenie, were asphyxiated in their bed. Four businessmen from Toledo were treated for shortness of breath. The five were finally cornered between the WC and the lift tube. They took a stand, backs to the wall. The shortest of them held a small black box to the top of his head. Static noises filled the air ducts then the hotel and finally the entire dome. All Base II held its breath and waited for death or the first alien communication whichever it was to be. The static cleared, a rich baritone voice cleared its throat and after a sustained E-flat tone spoke... Happy Birthday! --From a birthday card sent to John Kessel

Extreme Topiary of the Week: From the Beijing Olympics

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There are only two types of anti-vaxxers: the liars, and the lied to. You can often tell them apart by the amount of zeros in their bank accounts. --Alex Hirsch --Submitted by gr of oh

Today's Peace of History, August 6, 1957: Eleven activists from the Committee for Nonviolent Action (CNVA) were arrested attempting to enter the atomic testing grounds at Camp Mercury, Nevada, the first of what eventually became many thousands of arrests at the Nevada test site.

I have visited dozens of psychics. They are either very angry or really sad. Is there no happy medium? / ebay listing: Used crystal ball for sale. Worth a fortune.

..........About the moon and the stars above.........The Judds …..Let Me Tell You About Love

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle August 6, 2021, ePistle Foreseen. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Truth has nothing to do with the number of people it convinces. --Paul Claudel

Son of Today's Peace of History, August 6, 1998: Calling themselves the Minuteman III Plowshares, two peace activists, Daniel Sicken [pronounced seekin], 56, of Brattleboro, Vermont and Sachio Ko-Yin, 25, of Ridgewood, N.J entered silo N7 in Weld County [near Greeley] in Colorado operated by Warren AFB, Cheyenne, Wyoming. With hammers and their own blood, they symbolically disarmed structures on the launching pad of a Minuteman III nuclear missile silo.

Cost of War:

As of 8/5/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,153,334,400,602.

As of 7/29/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,151,339,326,601.

As of 8/5/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,052,353,559,891.

As of 7/29/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,050,997,516,204.

As of 8/5/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $872,615,987,783.

As of 7/29/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $870,911,081,141.

As of 8/5/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $353,958.199,180.

As of 7/29/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $353,570.681,893.

As of 8/5/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,432,262,992,923.

As of 7/29/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,426,819,368,398.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The bomb was not only dropped on the citizens of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It was dropped on the whole of humanity. --Satoru Konishi

Famous Last Words: ...contrary to the provisions of this act. --First Act of Confiscation 1861

..........I keep a-workin' and a-watchin' the clock.........Carl Perkins …..Jive After Five ~~All of today's songs were written by Carl Perkins.

Here's your first Tarot card. Would you like to double down. O, I'm sorry, that was a insight joke. / The Psychic Fair has been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.

May Peace fill your days

And Joy sate your nights

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: --Submitted by INRITH