Father of ePistles

Famous First Words: The American Library Association affirms that all libraries are forums for information and ideas... Library Bill of Rights

Happy Father's Day! Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up. --Ray Romano / Parents of newborn babies are basically hostages in their own house with a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome. --Nate Smith

..........Mama, he's awfully nice to me.........Kay Kyser …..Ma! He's Making Eyes at Me

Whereas recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world --UN International Declaration of Human Rights

It is a bright, bright, sunshiny Friday. It is also a muggy (61%)** hot ( 84°F) Friday. The sky has no organized clouds but wisps of humidity can be seen in thin sheets across the sky. A steady south wind cools the body and cheers the mind. The world is green and lush. It smells of dust and heat. Unseen birds sing unfamiliar songs from the canopy of tree limbs shading part of the sidewalk. It gives Puck a place to sit and rest a moment before we walk on. He stops at the house that used to have dogs and barks a few times to show he remembers. We are both getting more forgetful. When there is no shade on the sidewalk, Puck sticks to the lawn sniffing every blade of grass because you never know... After his second need to rest, we return home where he drinks deeply from his freshly filled water bowl and retreats to his dog-cave under the bed. I fix myself a cup of hot decaf and some iced water and sit down to write to you.

Hope yours is the father of all weekends, ePistliers

**In Salt Lake City people complained about the humidity when it reached double digits.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I love you more than yesterday. Yesterday you got on my nerves. --Submitted by INRITH

I am currently helping my son search for his chocolate bar that I ate last night. / Buying your kid a goldfish is a great way to teach them responsibility for 24 to 36 hours. --Conan O'Brien

..........Let's float down to Peru........Sammy Cahn …..Come Fly With Me

Trivia Questions: Happy Flip-Flops Friday!.

^ Any idea when flip-flops were first used?

^^ Of what materials are today's flip-flops made?

^^^ When did flip-flops first become popular in the US?

^^^^ Care to guess how big the flip-flop business really is?

^^^^^ What other names do flip-flops go by?

Big Hello: Daag - Dutch https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Man is not a rational animal; he is a rationalizing animal. --Robert Heinlein Tunnel In The Sky

Max Picture of the Week: Max seeking creative new ways to use a desk.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 90% of librarians have a favorite book they will tell you and a real favorite book they tell no one. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Yes, I'm a dad, but I still like to party...and by party I mean binge on Netflix and take naps. / The best part of parenting is the day you realize that you have become everything that you hated about your parents.

..........There are places I'll remember........Beatles with Paul McCartney …..In My Life

Moonbeam: I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty. --John D Rockefeller

Meditation Seed of the Week: If you blew a bubble in space would it pop?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What this country needs is more unemployed politicians. --Submitted by eg of mt

Week of the Week: Royal Ascot (15-19) --George said to Fred, ‘I put $20 on a horse last week and he came in at twenty five to one.’, ‘Wow! you must be loaded’, said Fred. ‘Not really’ said George, ‘the rest of the field came in at twelve thirty.’ / What do you call a promiscuous pony? A Little Whorse!

Grounding is no longer an effective threat (own tv, laptop, itunes), so now we threaten to make them come out in public and be seen with us. / If a three-foot cute-looking bratty thing has not hurled “I don't like you” at you even once, it means that you have not succeeded as a parent.

..........I hope you're having fun........Wings with Paul McCartney …..Band On The Run

^ It is estimated that flip-flops were first used around 4,000 B.C, according to Ancient Egyptian murals. However, the first documented account of flip-flops being worn is from 15,000 years ago during the Stone Age.

Almanac: It is Friday, June 18, 2021. The moon was at first-quarter yesterday and is in Libra. It is Autistic Pride Day, International Sushi Day, National Black America's Day of Repentance, National Splurge Day (since 1994), Sustainable Gastronomy Day, Work@Home Father's Day, and Worldwide Knit (and crochet) in Public Day. Because it is Father's Day Weekend it is Dollars Against Diabetes Days. And because it is the third Friday it is also National Flip Flop Day, Take Back The Lunch Break Day, and Ugliest Dog Day. Finally because it is the Friday of Men's Health Week it is Wear Blue Day.

Among those born on this day were William Lassell (1799), James Flagg (1877), Philip Barry (1896), Jeanette MacDonald (1901), Jimmy Dale (1901), Kay Kyser (1906), Bud Collyer (1908), E G Marshall (1910), Sammy Cahn (1913), Sylvia Porter (1913), John D Rockefeller (1937), Paul McCartney (1942), Roger Ebert (`1942), Carol Kane (1952), and Isabella Rossellini (1952).

On June eighteenth the Giordano Bruno crater was created on the moon (1178), the British military evacuated Philadelphia (1778), the US declared war on Britain (1812), the Woman's Suffrage Convention was held (Boston, 1872), Susan B Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote (1873), the first Macadamia nut was planted in Hawaii (1892), Amusement Pier opened (Atlantic City, 1898), the first bicycle traffic court was established (Racine, 1936), the American Library Association adopted the Library Bill of Rights (1948), the NCAA made urine testing mandatory (1973), and Blues Brothers premiered (1980).

Night Sky, 6/18: Now the Moon shines close to 3rd-magnitude Gamma (γ) Virginis, or Porrima. This is a fine, close, equal-brightness double star for telescopes. The components are 3.1 arcseconds apart now and widening slightly year by year. They're both F1 stars somewhat larger and hotter than the Sun, shining from 39 light-years away. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Solar Eclipse June 10, 2021

This Week: Saturday, June 19 – Juneteenth & International Surfing Day & Mermaid Day

Sunday, June 20 – American Eagle Day & Father's Day & Midsummer Day aka Summer Solstice

Night Sky, 6/20: Spring ends and summer begins, astronomically

Monday, June 21 – International Day of Yoga & Make Music Day & World Giraffe Day

Tuesday, June 22 – Positive Media Day & World Rainforest Day

Wednesday, June 23 – International Widows' Day & Let It Go Day & Typing Day

Night Sky, 6/23: We're getting into the time of year when the two brightest stars of summer, Arcturus and Vega, are about equally high overhead as evening grows late: Arcturus toward the southwest, Vega toward the east. Arcturus and Vega are 37 and 25 light-years away, respectively. They represent the two commonest types of naked-eye star: a yellow-orange K giant and a white A main-sequence star. They're 150 and 50 times brighter than the Sun, respectively — which, combined with their nearness, is why they dominate the evening star-scene.

Thursday, June 24 – Festival of Goodwill & National Handshake Day & Stonewall Monument Day

Sure fire ways to get your child's attention: 1)Join a Zoom meeting 2)Go to the bathroom 3)open a chocolate bar. / My child is turning out just like me. Well played, Karma, well played.

..........Ooh, Help me understand........Beatles with Paul McCartney …..Maybe I'm Amazed

^^ While we have flip-flops that are made from leather, suede, foam, rubber, plastic, hemp, and more, did you know they are made with other unconventional materials in other places in the world? •Ancient Egypt used papyrus and palm leaves •The Masai tribe in Africa used rawhide to make their flip-flops. •In China and Japan, the people used rice straw •Flip-flops in Mexico were made from the yucca plant •People in India used wood for their flip-flops •South Americans used leaves of the sisal plant to make twine for their flip-flops

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Male escorts should be called prostidudes. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: No good movie is too long and no bad movie is short enough. --Roger Ebert

Video of the Week: Blues Brothers soundtrack … She Caught the Katy

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie liberating the pans from their small dark cell

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Peter Sagal: This week, law enforcement agencies from around the world announced a simultaneous arrest of 800 organized crime members thanks to an app secretly created by the FBI called AN0M, which is a great name if you think about it because AN0M sounds like it's anonymous, but it's not. Criminals were sending messages to each other, but the FBI saw all of it. And the sad thing is it clearly said, oh, the FBI is monitoring everything you say in the terms and conditions. But nobody ever reads that. Alonso Bodden: I honestly did not know there was still organized crime. I thought everything they used to do has been legalized, right? --Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 6/12/21

Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person --UN International Declaration of Human Rights

Parenting is a science. Everyday is an experiment. / According to my children, the perfect amount of time to stay at the park is five more minutes.

..........'Cause here I go again........Wings with Paul McCartney …..Silly Love Songs

^^^ Flip-flops first became popular in America when soldiers came home from World War II with Japanese zori.” They became increasingly popular by the 1950’s and were being mass-produced throughout the United States.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I feel like I'm parked diagonally in a parallel universe. --Submitted by Heinlein Society

Weird Word of the Week: Nihilartikel – deliberately invalid entries in guides, dictionaries, etc. included to reveal copyright infringements by competitors. Example: World Wide Words: Nihilartikel

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent runs in pantie hose. Spray a light coat of Alberto VO5 Hair Spray on the legs of your nylon pantry hose. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: Write down the name of a country plus its capital, one after the other. Hidden in consecutive letters inside this is the name of a film that won an Academy Award for Best Picture. Name the country, capital, and film.

Welcome to parenthood. Your full-time job is now putting throw pillows back on the couch. / Don't yell for your children, open a bag of chips and they will appear out of nowhere.

...........There will be an answer........Beatles with Paul McCartney …..Let It Be

^^^^ It is estimated that producing flip-flops is a $20 billion industry.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I gave this homeless guy $5 and an old lady behind me told me he's just going to use it for drugs, so I confronted him and asked where I could also get drugs for $5 --Submitted by sb of ar

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Black Hills Con 2021 (18-19, Rapid City, SD) – Dress up as your favorite characters and enjoy family friendly activities and presentations. Home (blackhillscon.com)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Abstraction and Abstract Mathematics (17-18, Riga, Latvia) --provides an exceptional value for students, academics and industry researchers. International Conference on Abstraction and Abstract Mathematics ICAAM in June 2021 in Riga (waset.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Bahrain, Manama → Rain Man

Parenthood: When it takes longer to get everyone into the car than to run the actual errand. / I asked my dad if I was adopted. He said “Not yet, but we have placed an ad.”

..........You were only waiting for this moment to arise........Beatles with Paul McCartney …..Blackbird

^^^^^ While we call them flip-flops, here are other names for the footwear from around the world: •Tongs – Cambodia •Dacas – Somalia •Vietnamki – Ukraine & Russia •Djapanki – Bulgaria •Sayonares – Greece •Japonki – Poland •Chinelos – Brazil •Slops – South Africa •Schalpfen – Germany •Zori – Japan and •Thongs – Australia

Quote of the Week: A chance? Oh, my God. “There’s a novel respiratory coronavirus overtaking Wuhan, China—what do we do?” “Oh, you know who we could ask? The Wuhan Novel Respiratory Coronavirus Lab.” The disease is the same name as the lab. … “There’s been an outbreak of chocolaty goodness near Hershey, Pennsylvania. What do you think happened?” “Oh, I don’t know, maybe a steam shovel mated with a cocoa bean. Or it’s the f**king chocolate factory! Maybe that’s it!” --Jon Stewart The Late Show with Stephen Colbert 6/14/21

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We should raise the minimum wage to $17.76 hr. Then rename it “Patriot Pay”. --Darth James R LeVan

Today's Peace of History, June 18, 1948: A United Nations commission approved and recommended to the General Assembly an International Declaration of Human Rights, recognizing that “the inherent dignity and . . . the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world . . . .”

Today's Peace of History, June 18, 1983: Sally Ride became the first US woman in space (7th Shuttle Mission of Challenger 2).

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again. / Parenthood is a journey except it's just traveling from room to room all day long putting away the same toys.

..........It doesn't show signs of stopping........Sammy Cahn …..Let It Snow

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle June 18, 2021, Father of ePistles. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Invest in yourself, in your education. There's nothing better. --Sylvia Porter

Cost of War:

As of 6/17/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,139,607,915,823.

As of 6/10/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,137,518,799,081.

As of 6/17/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,043,024,855,398.

As of 610/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,041,605,061,832.

As of 6/17/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $860,888,566,411.

As of 6/10/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $859,103,649,529.

As of 6/17/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $351,292,835,858.

As of 6/10/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $350,887,179,615.

As of 6/17/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,394,814,003,758.

As of 6/10/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,389,115,326,431.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment or punishment. --UN International Declaration of Human Rights

Famous Last Words: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank, half pack of cigarettes, it's dark out, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it Blues Brothers

..........You'd hear the patter of his feet........Kay Kyser …..The Old Lamplighter

88% of parenting is saying “it's bedtime” 150 times between 8 and 9 pm. / The good news is you got a 100% on your child's essay on summer vacation.

May Peace surround you

And Joy encompass you

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Stuck Up ePistle

 Famous First Words: In those days cheap apartments were almost impossible to find... William Styron Sophie's Choice

The 2021 Duct Tape Days have been canceled. But here are a few jokes to keep the tradition alive. Anything is possible with the right attitude, a sledge hammer, and some duct tape. / Archeologists just discovered an Egyptian pharaoh wrapped in duct tape. They've named it the redneck mummy.

..........Ground Control to Major Tom.........David Bowie …..Space Oddity

“You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake” ― Jeannette Rankin

It is a muggy Friday morning; our temperature is already 86°F and the humidity is 70%. The sky is graced with cute fluffy clouds and several spots where the humidity is so dense it is visible. A stiff breeze keeps the willows in near constant motion but does not cool the skin as it passes by. The world is green and green and green. It smells of green and it feels like green. To emphasis the green, white puffs of cottonwood seeds float lazily (even in the wind) like tiny clouds with some destination in mind but enjoying the ride so much they have no particular incentive to arrive. Birds too are adding still more motion by flitting in and out of tree and stopping at the top of the utility pole to survey the world before swooping off again. Yet, I spend little time on the patio; instead, I retreat and close the door quickly. It is cool inside and the hum of the air conditioner promises to keep it that way. I fix myself a creamy, artificially sweetened decaf...steamy in my nose and hot against my hand. Now I sit to sip the sweetness and write to you. Can't think of a better morning.

Hope your weekend holds it all together, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Chocolate is vital for our survival. Dinosaurs didn't have chocolate and look what happened to them... --Submitted by INRITH

What's the difference between Scientists and Engineers? Scientists use complex formulas to solve problem, and engineers use duct tape. / Humans: The one thing duct tape can't fix

..........Where the eagle dare not fly.........David Bowie …..Wild Eyed Boy From Freecloud

Trivia Questions: Happy Corn On The Cob Day

^ Which continents on Earth raise corn as a cash crop?

^^ How many rows are there on a cob of corn?

^^^ What part of the plant is the corncob, anyway?

^^^^ How much soft drink can you sweeten with a bushel of corn?

^^^^^ How important is corn to the American agricultural economy?

Big Hello: Misawa – Dholuo (Kenya, Sudan, & Tanzania) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm not superstitious but I am a little stitious. --Steve Carrell as Michael Scott

Max Picture of the Week: Max the Handyman ...he fixes broken hearts, he truly can.

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: When administration asks what can be done to improve the library 89% of staff ask to have the AC fixed. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Duct tape is like The Force; it has a dark side, a light side, and it binds the galaxy together. / When do you use duct tape on a duck? When it's quacked.

..........No one here can see you.........David Bowie …..Dancing Out In Space

Moonbeam: However benevolent men may be in their intentions, they cannot know what women want and what suits the necessities of women’s lives as well as women know these things themselves. --Millicent Garrett Fawcett

Meditation Seed of the Week: How important do you have to be before you are assassinated instead of murdered?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Just dumped M&Ms into my mask so I can eat them like a horse. --Submitted by INRITH

Week of the Week: National Business Etiquette Week (6-12) –I'm sorry if I offended you by asking you to do your job. / Finding new ways to be lazy is probably the most productive thing you've done today.

My First Aid Kit contains whiskey and duct tape. / No, do not count on duct tape to hold down your house during a tornado.

..........of darkness and dismay.........David Bowie …..Lady Stardust

^ Farmers grow corn on every continent except Antarctica.

Almanac: It is Friday, June 11, 2021. The moon was new yesterday and is in Cancer. It is Corn on the Cob Day, National Cotton Candy Day, National Impressionists Day, and National Making Life Beautiful Day. In Hawaii it is King Kamehameha I Day (1737-1819) and Nepal celebrates the King's Birthday.

Among those born on this day were Ben Johnson (1572), John Constable (1776), Millicent Garrett Fawcett (1847), Richard Strauss (1864), Charles Fabry (1867), Jeannette Rankin (1880), Jacques-Yves Cousteau (1910), Vince Lombardi (1913), William Styron (1925), Tab Hunter (1931), Gene Wilder (1935), Ox Van Hoften (1944), and Joe Montana (1956).

On June eleventh Troy was captured (1184 BCE), Captain Cook ran aground on the Great Barrier Reef (1770), the first known auto race was held (1895), New Zealand annexed the Cook Islands (1901), Sir Barton became the first horse to win the triple crown (1919), the Presbyterian Church of America was founded (1936), A Day at the Races was released (1937), FDR fed the King & Queen of England (George VI & Elizabeth) hot dogs (1939), sugar rationing finally ended (1947), Bowie released Space Oddity (1969), Seattle Slew took the Triple Crown (1977), and Margaret Thatcher won a third term (1987).

Night Sky, 6/11: Bright Venus and the thin crescent Moon form a mystic pair low in the west-northwest in twilight. They'll be 3° or 4° apart for sky watchers near the US East Coast, and only 2° by the time of twilight for the West Coast. Your best view might be about 40 or 50 minutes after sunset, before they get too low. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Simone Biles picking up her 7^th US Gymnastics Championship this week

This Week: Saturday, June 12 – Family Fitness and Health Day & National Jerky Day & World Bike Naked Day

Sunday, June 13 – Children's Sunday & National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day & Roller Coaster Day

Night Sky, 6/13: After dark, look south-southeast for orange Antares, "the Betelgeuse of summer." (Both are 1st-magnitude "red" super giants). Around and upper right of Antares are the other whiter stars of upper Scorpius, forming their distinctive pattern. The rest of the Scorpion extends down toward the horizon.

Monday, June 14 – The Army's Birthday & Flag Day & Family History Day

Tuesday, June 15 – Global Wind Day & Magna Carta Day & Native American Citizenship Day

Wednesday, June 16 – Bloomsday & Fudge Day

Night Sky, 6/16: The Big Dipper hangs high in the northwest right after dark. The Dipper's Pointers, currently its bottom two stars, point lower right toward Polaris. Above Polaris, and looking very similar to it, is Kochab, the lip of the Little Dipper's bowl. Kochab stands precisely above Polaris around the end of twilight or a little after.

Thursday, June 17 – Bartender Day & National Garbage Man Day & World Tapas Day

Last Christmas Santa wrapped everything with duct tape; we're still trying to open gifts. / I do not lack sophistication. After all, I made these duct tape flowers for my flip flops.

..........But Moondust will cover you.........David Bowie …..Hallo Spaceboy

^^ There are about 800 kernels in 16 rows on each ear of corn.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Did you know that if you garden naked, your neighbors will build a privacy fence at no cost to you. --Submitted by rc or kc

Moonbeam: ‘The evil state of the law, the evil state of the general tone of public opinion in regard to morals, is an outcome of the subjection of women, of the notion that women are possessions or chattels, with whom men are freely justified in dealing as they please.’ --Millicent Garrett Fawcett

Video of the Week: In 1963 Salvador Dali appeared on I've Got A Secret and painted a picture with shaving cream. Salvador Dali on "I've Got a Secret" part 2 of 2 - YouTube

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie drivin' that train ...you better watch your speed

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: You thought you were safe in the next room or crouched behind that couch. Think again. The Nerf Rival Curve Shot fires foam ammo that can turn left or right or down, which means, truly, there is no place for America's younger brothers to hide. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell me 6/5/21

The greatest threat to peace is the barrage of rightist propaganda portraying war as decent, honorable, and patriotic. --Jeannette Rankin

Duct tape; turning "no-no-no" into "mm-mm-mm" since 1942. / If it can't be fixed with duct tape then you aren't using enough duct tape.

..........And the spiders from Mars.........David Bowie …..Ziggy Stardust

^^^ The corncob or ear of corn is actually part of the plant's flower.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring ...”How to Build a Boat. --Steven Wright

Weird Word of the Week: Muliebrious – effeminate “The muliebrous features could have been man or woman or creature from the stories his grandmother had told. World Wide Words: Muliebrious

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove pet hair from furniture. Spray a tissue with Alberto VO5 Hair Spray and, while the tissue is sticky, pick up those shed hairs. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge came from listener Bruce Campbell of Kansas City, Mo. Name a title character from books and TV (5, 5). You can rearrange the letters to get two words describing what you can hear and do in church. What character is it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 11/22/20

Duct tape: Holding the world together one crack at a time. / Life Tip #319: Duct tape should never be used for painful practical jokes.

...........Sailors fighting in the dance hall.........David Bowie …..Life On Mars?

^^^^ A bushel of corn will sweeten more than 400 cans of Coca-Cola.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I can't turn water into wine, but I can turn pizza into breakfast. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Armageddon Tauranga (12-13^th, Tauranga, New Zealand) Experience the Incredible Tauranga - Armageddon Expo

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Psychopathology and Therapeutic Assessment (10-11, Copenhagen, Denmark) ...a significant number of diverse scholarly events... International Conference on Psychopathology and Therapeutic Assessment ICPTA in June 2021 in Copenhagen (waset.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Perry Mason → Pray, Sermon

If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. / Duct Tape: It can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.

..........O, my nuclear baby.........David Bowie …..New Killer Star

^^^^^ Corn is America's number one field crop. Corn leads all other crops in value and volume of production.

Phrase of the Week: Emotional Support Vodka

Extreme Topiary of the Week: Duct Tape Topiary

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I never feel more alone than when I'm trying to put sunscreen on my back. --Jimmy Kimmel

Today's Peace of History: June 11, 1962: Students for a Democratic Society (SDS) held its founding convention in Michigan and issued The Port Huron Statement, laying out its principles and program. “In social change or interchange, we find violence to be abhorrent because it requires generally the transformation of the target, be it a human being or a community of people, into a depersonalized object of hate. It is imperative that the means of violence be abolished and the institutions—local, national, international—that encourage non-violence as a condition of conflict be developed.”

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. / A roll of duct tape walks into a bar. Bartender, polishing up a glass, asks politely: “What can I get you?” The duct tape looks around, thinks for a moment and says, “I think I’ll just stick to my usual.”

..........I watched it for a little while.........David Bowie …..Satellite Of Love

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle June 11, 2021, Stuck Up ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: ‘The real protection women needed was the power to protect themselves.’ --Millicent Garrett Fawcett

Cost of War:

As of 6/10/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,137,518,799,081.

As of 6/03/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,135,545,300,581.

As of 610/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,041,605,061,832.

As of 6/03/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,040,263,695,243.

As of 6/10/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $859,103,649,529.

As of 6/03/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $857,417,475,192.

As of 6/10/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $350,887,179,615.

As of 6/03/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $350,503,959,275.

As of 6/10/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,389,115,326,431.

As of 6/03/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,383,731,078,996.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

We'd be the safest country in the world if the world knew we didn't have a gun. Men are not killed because they get mad at each other. They're killed because one has a gun. --Jeannette Rankin

Famous Last Words: ...toward Richmond, the North, the oncoming night. --William Styron Lie Down In Darkness

..........And there's nothing I can do.........David Bowie …..Space Oddity

My uncle always believed that "Between duct tape and WD-40 you can fix just about anything." I still can't believe it took seven years before he lost his medical license. / I just made a book out of duct tape! That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

May Peace make your days beautiful

And Joy make your nights a delight

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Purrfect ePistle

 Famous First Words: Proposing an amendment to the Constitution... US Congress Joint Bill proposing the 19^th amendment

Happy Hug Your Cat Day aka Purrthday! Good luck with that. --Wait a meowment, I'll have to put on my thinking cat.

..........And the sky is gray..........Mamas & Papas …..California Dreamin'

Peace is possible around the world and children are the answer. --Quincy Jones

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. Blue sky is brightly dotted with clouds that are fluffy and white and scattered here and there. A 75°F temperature with only a slight breeze allows shirtsleeves and sandals. The world is green and growing. Wildlife is busy enjoying the weather, skittering and flying, chirping and squealing. It smells of freshly mown grass with a hint of floral and foliage. Spring is growing into summer. Puck and I have been out enjoying it. But now he has taken his treat into his retreat under the bed. I am sipping doctored decaf and enjoying the sunshine reflecting off the nearly complete shed. And now – to top off all this joy – I get to write to you. Wow!

Have the purrfect weekend, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Kansas...where the sky craps rainbows when it's not trying to kill you. --Submitted by RHOZ

When in doubt, hug a dog. When in armor, hug a cat. / More Cat Jokes? You gotta be kitten me.

..........Every other day of the week is fine, yeah..........Mamas & Papas …..Monday, Monday

Trivia Questions: It is Gun Violence Awareness Day & SAFE Day

^ About what percentage of US households have guns?

^^ About how many small arms are held by civilians?

^^^ How many bullets can the AR-15 model shoot per minute?

^^^^ How many children are accidentally killed by guns every year in the US?

^^^^^ How many people in the US died by gun wounds in 2017?

Big Hello: Hej - Danish https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I want to rip off your logic and make passionate sense to you. --Submitted by FNOG

Max Picture of the Week: Max contemplating rock climbing

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 75% of librarians are excited for the warmer weather so they switch to their summer-weight cardigans https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

O, great. Hissterically funny cat puns. / Never play poker with cats; there's too many cheetahs.

..........With someone to meet, some place to go..........Mamas & Papas …..Look Through My Window

Moonbeam: In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. --Robert Anderson

Meditation Seed of the Week: Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There is a mysterious and powerful force that holds the universe together and that force is love. Just Kidding – it's dark matter. --Submitted by FNOG

Week of the Week: National Marina Days (5/30-6/5) --The Marina – It's NOT San Francisco's worst neighborhood. / Sailor Sally was up for a promotion but she turned it down. Anchor Chiefs spend all their time blowing noses.

Cats are furmidable opponents. / Rum Tum Tugger hides under the bed during Hug Your Cat Day.

..........Right up through the concrete..........Mamas & Papas …..Spanish Harlem

^ One in every three households in the US has a gun stored somewhere inside.

Almanac: It is Friday, June 4, 2021. The moon was at last-quarter last Wednesday and is in Aries. It is Audacity To Hope Day, Hug Your Cat Day & International (World) Hug Your Cat Day, National Clean Beauty Day, National SAFE Day, and Old Maid's Day. Because it is the first Friday, it is National Gun Violence Awareness Day. In the Bahamas it is Labour Day and in Botswana it is Commonwealth Day. Finland celebrates Flag Day (1867) and Tonga celebrates Independence Day. Internationally it is known as The Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression. Finally because it is the first weekend we also celebrate Banana Split Days, Doughnut Day or Donut Day (Salvation Army), and Horseradish Days.

Among those born on this day were George III (1738), Heinrich Wieland (1877), Rosaland Russell (1908), Robert Anderson (1917), Dennis Weaver (1924), John Barrymore Jr (1932), Michelle Phillips (Mamas & Papas, 1944), and Roger Ball (Average White Band, 1944).

On June fourth the first total solar eclipse was recorded (China, 789 BCE), Roquefort cheese was created (1070), the first hot air balloon was launched (unmanned, 1783), the Louisiana Territory was officially renamed the Missouri Territory (1812), the third black convention met (Philadelphia, 1832), the British ceded Cyprus to Turkey (1878), Henry drove his first Ford through the streets of Detroit for the first time (1896), Massachusetts passed the first US Minimum wage law (1912), the US Senate passed the Women's Suffrage bill (1919), the US invaded Costa Rica (1919), the British evacuated Dunkirk (1940), Capitol Records opened for business (1942), and Israel attacked Lebanon (1982).

Night Sky, 6/4: For much of the spring at mid-northern latitudes, the Milky Way lies right down out of sight all around the horizon. But watch the east now. The rich Cepheus-Cygnus-Aquila stretch of the Milky Way rears up horizontally across the east late these nights, earlier and higher every week. A hint for the light-polluted: It runs horizontally under Vega, right through the bottom of the Summer Triangle. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week:

This Week: Saturday, June 5 – Belmont Stakes & Drawing or Pencil Day & National Bubbly Day

Sunday, June 6 – Atheists Pride Day & Drive-In Movie Day & Yo-Yo Day

Night Sky, 6/6: A gigantic asterism you may not know about is the Great Diamond, some 50° tall and extending over five constellations. It now leans in the south to southwest after dusk. Start with Spica, its bottom. High above Spica is bright Arcturus. Almost as far upper right from Arcturus is fainter Cor Caroli, 3rd magnitude. The same distance down from there is Denebola, the 2nd-magnitude tailtip of Leo. And then back to Spica. Robert H. Baker may have been the first to name the Great Diamond, in his 1954 book When the Stars Come Out

Monday, June 7 – Boone Day & Thank God It's Monday Day

Tuesday, June 8 – Upsy Daisy Day & World Oceans Day

Wednesday, June 9 – Donald Duck Day & Toy Industry Day

Thursday, June 10 –Ball Point Pen Day & National Egg Roll Day & Race Unity Day

Night Sky, 6/10: The annular phase of this solar eclipse is visible from parts of Russia, Greenland, and northern Canada. Weather permitting, those in Northern Asia, Europe, and the United States will see a partial eclipse. Annular Solar Eclipse on June 10, 2021 (timeanddate.com)

What's in a meowtini? Cheshire Cat Signature Paw and dry Vermouth. Meowtini - Cheshire Cat | Small Batch, Hand Distilled Artisan Gin and Rum (cheshirecatgin.co.uk) / Crookshanks has had all his shots – rum, vodka, whiskey, tequila.

..........Summer's here and the time is right..........Mamas & Papas …..Dancing In The Streets

^^ In 2018, The Small Arms Survey reported that there are over one billion small arms distributed globally, of which 857 million (about 85 percent) are in civilian hands. The Small Arms Survey stated that U.S. civilians alone account for 393 million (about 46 percent) of the worldwide total of civilian held firearms. This amounts to "120.5 firearms for every 100 residents."

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How many times do you have to click “I Accept Cookies” before they send you the cookies. --Submitted by rhb of ks

Moonbeam: Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic. --Rosalind Russell

Quote of the Week: ~~I was going to quote something from Biden's Memorial Day Speech, but he did not use the word peace once in the entire speech. So I'm assuming that Memorial Day is about war not peace. Just as Armistice Day has become about war instead of peace...

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie – the pastel tiger – with dog paw

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: A new study shows that when a male California mouse loses a partner, they'll instantly go out and find a new one, whereas a female California mouse will wait an average of 10 extra days before getting back out there in the mouse single bars. How do you help a broken-hearted female mouse get her groove back? What do you say? It's like, I know you're hurt now, but it's better than being glue trapped in a bad relationship. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 5/29/21

Peace is possible. It begins with a vision or dream and comes through persistence, hard work, and belief in ourselves. --Pauline Flynn

My cat is totally litterate. / I always take my cat with me when I go drinking. Her name is Moderation.

..........Bound aboard a magic ship for a land I'd never seen..........Mamas & Papas …..Dancing Bear

^^^ The AR-15 fires up to 45 rounds per minute.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you are not resting, you will not make it. I need you to make it. --The Nap Ministry --Submitted by (3) Black Lives Matter-LFK | Facebook

Weird Word of the Week: Labretifery – the custom of wearing labrets Labrets – ornament worn through the upper or lower lip often of stone, gold, or crystal. World Wide Words: Labretifery

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove dry glue from bottles. Spray Alberto VO5 Hair Spray on the dry glue, wipe off, and wash the bottle in soapy water. The propanes, butanes, and acetones in Alberto VO5 Hair Spray dissolve glue. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses ~~Propane and butane and acetone...yet people spray it on their hair.

Puzzle of the Week: Last week's challenge came from listener Roger Barkan of Savage, Md. Think of an 8-letter word in which the third and sixth letters are "A." Remove the A's. The remaining six letters start a common series. What is it? And what comes next in that series? --NPR Sunday Puzzler 5/30/21

Do baby cats wear diapurrs? / You may pay the bills and feed me...but make no mistake, human, I own this house and I own you.

...........Three thousand miles, that 's how far you'll go..........Mamas & Papas …..Go Where You Wanna Go

^^^^ In 2018 73 children under age 12 died in gun accidents. This is about the same as it has been for the last 5 years.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If being gay was a choice, I'd be gayer. --Submitted by MMS

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: ConCarolinas (4-6, Charlotte, NC) –Carolina's Longest Running Multi-Fandom Con ConCarolinas 2021 – Carolina's Longest Running Multi-Fandom Con

Actual Science Convention of the Week: International Conference on Geomorphology, Rock Mechanics and Seismology (3-4, NYC) a premier interdisciplinary platform for researchers, practitioners and educators... International Conference on Geomorphology, Rock Mechanics and Seismology ICGRMS in June 2021 in New York (waset.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Standard --> The remaining pairs of letters — ST, ND, and RD — form the ends of 1ST, 2ND, and 3RD. The next pair of letters in the series is TH. ~~I didn't come close

Pyewacket has cattitude. / Macavity is so purrsuasive; he always gets his way.

..........I'm in way over my head..........Mamas & Papas …..I Saw Her Again

^^^^^ 39,773 people died from gun-related injuries in the US in 2017. The figure includes murders and suicides.

Video of the Week: Menopause Rhapsody Menopause Rhapsody - Bohemian Rhapsody Parody Song for every Queen - YouTube

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Live like someone left the gate open. --Submitted by bu of ks

Today's Peace of History, June 4, 1987: New Zealand passed legislation declaring itself nuclear-free. In 1986, New Zealand had banned the entry of U.S. Navy ships from their ports in the belief that they were carrying nuclear weapons or were nuclear-powered. US government protests of the policy led to the breakup of the ANZUS (Australia-New Zealand-United States) defense alliance.

Khat drives a furrari. / Mrs Norris' favorite color is purrple

..........John and Mitchy were getting' kind of itchy..........Mamas & Papas …..Creeque Alley

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, June 4, 2021, Purrfect ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. --John Barrymore

Cost of War:

As of 6/03/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,135,545,300,581.

As of 5/27/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,133,569,372,462.

As of 6/03/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,040,263,695,243.

As of 5/27/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,038,920,001,964.

As of 6/03/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $857,417,475,192.

As of 5/27/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $855,729,347,440.

As of 6/03/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $350,503,959,275.

As of 5/27/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $350,120,324,346.

As of 6/03/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,383,731,078,996.

As of 5/27/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,378,340,843,264.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

We stoners must be peaceful, unarmed, and open to nonviolence. It's up to us to be the example of how peace is possible. Work for peace, evolve. --Withered Tree

Famous Last Words: ...move it to a cooler 38-40F aging space, until ripe. --Recipe for making Roquefort Cheese

..........Whisper a little prayer for me, my baby..........Mamas & Papas …..Dedicated To The One I Love

Stay Calm and HugYour Cat. / Mehitable rules our house. She has her own brand of claw enforcement.

May Peace enhance your days

And Joy grace your nights

prairie mama

christine

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