Father of ePistles

Famous First Words: The American Library Association affirms that all libraries are forums for information and ideas... Library Bill of Rights

Happy Father's Day! Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up. --Ray Romano / Parents of newborn babies are basically hostages in their own house with a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome. --Nate Smith

..........Mama, he's awfully nice to me.........Kay Kyser …..Ma! He's Making Eyes at Me

Whereas recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world --UN International Declaration of Human Rights

It is a bright, bright, sunshiny Friday. It is also a muggy (61%)** hot ( 84°F) Friday. The sky has no organized clouds but wisps of humidity can be seen in thin sheets across the sky. A steady south wind cools the body and cheers the mind. The world is green and lush. It smells of dust and heat. Unseen birds sing unfamiliar songs from the canopy of tree limbs shading part of the sidewalk. It gives Puck a place to sit and rest a moment before we walk on. He stops at the house that used to have dogs and barks a few times to show he remembers. We are both getting more forgetful. When there is no shade on the sidewalk, Puck sticks to the lawn sniffing every blade of grass because you never know... After his second need to rest, we return home where he drinks deeply from his freshly filled water bowl and retreats to his dog-cave under the bed. I fix myself a cup of hot decaf and some iced water and sit down to write to you.

Hope yours is the father of all weekends, ePistliers

**In Salt Lake City people complained about the humidity when it reached double digits.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I love you more than yesterday. Yesterday you got on my nerves. --Submitted by INRITH

I am currently helping my son search for his chocolate bar that I ate last night. / Buying your kid a goldfish is a great way to teach them responsibility for 24 to 36 hours. --Conan O'Brien

..........Let's float down to Peru........Sammy Cahn …..Come Fly With Me

Trivia Questions: Happy Flip-Flops Friday!.

^ Any idea when flip-flops were first used?

^^ Of what materials are today's flip-flops made?

^^^ When did flip-flops first become popular in the US?

^^^^ Care to guess how big the flip-flop business really is?

^^^^^ What other names do flip-flops go by?

Big Hello: Daag - Dutch https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Man is not a rational animal; he is a rationalizing animal. --Robert Heinlein Tunnel In The Sky

Max Picture of the Week: Max seeking creative new ways to use a desk.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 90% of librarians have a favorite book they will tell you and a real favorite book they tell no one. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Yes, I'm a dad, but I still like to party...and by party I mean binge on Netflix and take naps. / The best part of parenting is the day you realize that you have become everything that you hated about your parents.

..........There are places I'll remember........Beatles with Paul McCartney …..In My Life

Moonbeam: I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty. --John D Rockefeller

Meditation Seed of the Week: If you blew a bubble in space would it pop?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What this country needs is more unemployed politicians. --Submitted by eg of mt

Week of the Week: Royal Ascot (15-19) --George said to Fred, ‘I put $20 on a horse last week and he came in at twenty five to one.’, ‘Wow! you must be loaded’, said Fred. ‘Not really’ said George, ‘the rest of the field came in at twelve thirty.’ / What do you call a promiscuous pony? A Little Whorse!

Grounding is no longer an effective threat (own tv, laptop, itunes), so now we threaten to make them come out in public and be seen with us. / If a three-foot cute-looking bratty thing has not hurled “I don't like you” at you even once, it means that you have not succeeded as a parent.

..........I hope you're having fun........Wings with Paul McCartney …..Band On The Run

^ It is estimated that flip-flops were first used around 4,000 B.C, according to Ancient Egyptian murals. However, the first documented account of flip-flops being worn is from 15,000 years ago during the Stone Age.

Almanac: It is Friday, June 18, 2021. The moon was at first-quarter yesterday and is in Libra. It is Autistic Pride Day, International Sushi Day, National Black America's Day of Repentance, National Splurge Day (since 1994), Sustainable Gastronomy Day, Work@Home Father's Day, and Worldwide Knit (and crochet) in Public Day. Because it is Father's Day Weekend it is Dollars Against Diabetes Days. And because it is the third Friday it is also National Flip Flop Day, Take Back The Lunch Break Day, and Ugliest Dog Day. Finally because it is the Friday of Men's Health Week it is Wear Blue Day.

Among those born on this day were William Lassell (1799), James Flagg (1877), Philip Barry (1896), Jeanette MacDonald (1901), Jimmy Dale (1901), Kay Kyser (1906), Bud Collyer (1908), E G Marshall (1910), Sammy Cahn (1913), Sylvia Porter (1913), John D Rockefeller (1937), Paul McCartney (1942), Roger Ebert (`1942), Carol Kane (1952), and Isabella Rossellini (1952).

On June eighteenth the Giordano Bruno crater was created on the moon (1178), the British military evacuated Philadelphia (1778), the US declared war on Britain (1812), the Woman's Suffrage Convention was held (Boston, 1872), Susan B Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote (1873), the first Macadamia nut was planted in Hawaii (1892), Amusement Pier opened (Atlantic City, 1898), the first bicycle traffic court was established (Racine, 1936), the American Library Association adopted the Library Bill of Rights (1948), the NCAA made urine testing mandatory (1973), and Blues Brothers premiered (1980).

Night Sky, 6/18: Now the Moon shines close to 3rd-magnitude Gamma (γ) Virginis, or Porrima. This is a fine, close, equal-brightness double star for telescopes. The components are 3.1 arcseconds apart now and widening slightly year by year. They're both F1 stars somewhat larger and hotter than the Sun, shining from 39 light-years away. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Solar Eclipse June 10, 2021

This Week: Saturday, June 19 – Juneteenth & International Surfing Day & Mermaid Day

Sunday, June 20 – American Eagle Day & Father's Day & Midsummer Day aka Summer Solstice

Night Sky, 6/20: Spring ends and summer begins, astronomically

Monday, June 21 – International Day of Yoga & Make Music Day & World Giraffe Day

Tuesday, June 22 – Positive Media Day & World Rainforest Day

Wednesday, June 23 – International Widows' Day & Let It Go Day & Typing Day

Night Sky, 6/23: We're getting into the time of year when the two brightest stars of summer, Arcturus and Vega, are about equally high overhead as evening grows late: Arcturus toward the southwest, Vega toward the east. Arcturus and Vega are 37 and 25 light-years away, respectively. They represent the two commonest types of naked-eye star: a yellow-orange K giant and a white A main-sequence star. They're 150 and 50 times brighter than the Sun, respectively — which, combined with their nearness, is why they dominate the evening star-scene.

Thursday, June 24 – Festival of Goodwill & National Handshake Day & Stonewall Monument Day

Sure fire ways to get your child's attention: 1)Join a Zoom meeting 2)Go to the bathroom 3)open a chocolate bar. / My child is turning out just like me. Well played, Karma, well played.

..........Ooh, Help me understand........Beatles with Paul McCartney …..Maybe I'm Amazed

^^ While we have flip-flops that are made from leather, suede, foam, rubber, plastic, hemp, and more, did you know they are made with other unconventional materials in other places in the world? •Ancient Egypt used papyrus and palm leaves •The Masai tribe in Africa used rawhide to make their flip-flops. •In China and Japan, the people used rice straw •Flip-flops in Mexico were made from the yucca plant •People in India used wood for their flip-flops •South Americans used leaves of the sisal plant to make twine for their flip-flops

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Male escorts should be called prostidudes. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: No good movie is too long and no bad movie is short enough. --Roger Ebert

Video of the Week: Blues Brothers soundtrack … She Caught the Katy

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie liberating the pans from their small dark cell

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Peter Sagal: This week, law enforcement agencies from around the world announced a simultaneous arrest of 800 organized crime members thanks to an app secretly created by the FBI called AN0M, which is a great name if you think about it because AN0M sounds like it's anonymous, but it's not. Criminals were sending messages to each other, but the FBI saw all of it. And the sad thing is it clearly said, oh, the FBI is monitoring everything you say in the terms and conditions. But nobody ever reads that. Alonso Bodden: I honestly did not know there was still organized crime. I thought everything they used to do has been legalized, right? --Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 6/12/21

Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person --UN International Declaration of Human Rights

Parenting is a science. Everyday is an experiment. / According to my children, the perfect amount of time to stay at the park is five more minutes.

..........'Cause here I go again........Wings with Paul McCartney …..Silly Love Songs

^^^ Flip-flops first became popular in America when soldiers came home from World War II with Japanese zori.” They became increasingly popular by the 1950’s and were being mass-produced throughout the United States.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I feel like I'm parked diagonally in a parallel universe. --Submitted by Heinlein Society

Weird Word of the Week: Nihilartikel – deliberately invalid entries in guides, dictionaries, etc. included to reveal copyright infringements by competitors. Example: World Wide Words: Nihilartikel

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Prevent runs in pantie hose. Spray a light coat of Alberto VO5 Hair Spray on the legs of your nylon pantry hose. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: Write down the name of a country plus its capital, one after the other. Hidden in consecutive letters inside this is the name of a film that won an Academy Award for Best Picture. Name the country, capital, and film.

Welcome to parenthood. Your full-time job is now putting throw pillows back on the couch. / Don't yell for your children, open a bag of chips and they will appear out of nowhere.

...........There will be an answer........Beatles with Paul McCartney …..Let It Be

^^^^ It is estimated that producing flip-flops is a $20 billion industry.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I gave this homeless guy $5 and an old lady behind me told me he's just going to use it for drugs, so I confronted him and asked where I could also get drugs for $5 --Submitted by sb of ar

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Black Hills Con 2021 (18-19, Rapid City, SD) – Dress up as your favorite characters and enjoy family friendly activities and presentations. Home (blackhillscon.com)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Abstraction and Abstract Mathematics (17-18, Riga, Latvia) --provides an exceptional value for students, academics and industry researchers. International Conference on Abstraction and Abstract Mathematics ICAAM in June 2021 in Riga (waset.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Bahrain, Manama → Rain Man

Parenthood: When it takes longer to get everyone into the car than to run the actual errand. / I asked my dad if I was adopted. He said “Not yet, but we have placed an ad.”

..........You were only waiting for this moment to arise........Beatles with Paul McCartney …..Blackbird

^^^^^ While we call them flip-flops, here are other names for the footwear from around the world: •Tongs – Cambodia •Dacas – Somalia •Vietnamki – Ukraine & Russia •Djapanki – Bulgaria •Sayonares – Greece •Japonki – Poland •Chinelos – Brazil •Slops – South Africa •Schalpfen – Germany •Zori – Japan and •Thongs – Australia

Quote of the Week: A chance? Oh, my God. “There’s a novel respiratory coronavirus overtaking Wuhan, China—what do we do?” “Oh, you know who we could ask? The Wuhan Novel Respiratory Coronavirus Lab.” The disease is the same name as the lab. … “There’s been an outbreak of chocolaty goodness near Hershey, Pennsylvania. What do you think happened?” “Oh, I don’t know, maybe a steam shovel mated with a cocoa bean. Or it’s the f**king chocolate factory! Maybe that’s it!” --Jon Stewart The Late Show with Stephen Colbert 6/14/21

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We should raise the minimum wage to $17.76 hr. Then rename it “Patriot Pay”. --Darth James R LeVan

Today's Peace of History, June 18, 1948: A United Nations commission approved and recommended to the General Assembly an International Declaration of Human Rights, recognizing that “the inherent dignity and . . . the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world . . . .”

Today's Peace of History, June 18, 1983: Sally Ride became the first US woman in space (7th Shuttle Mission of Challenger 2).

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again. / Parenthood is a journey except it's just traveling from room to room all day long putting away the same toys.

..........It doesn't show signs of stopping........Sammy Cahn …..Let It Snow

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle June 18, 2021, Father of ePistles. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: Invest in yourself, in your education. There's nothing better. --Sylvia Porter

Cost of War:

As of 6/17/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,139,607,915,823.

As of 6/10/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,137,518,799,081.

As of 6/17/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,043,024,855,398.

As of 610/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,041,605,061,832.

As of 6/17/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $860,888,566,411.

As of 6/10/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $859,103,649,529.

As of 6/17/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $351,292,835,858.

As of 6/10/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $350,887,179,615.

As of 6/17/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,394,814,003,758.

As of 6/10/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,389,115,326,431.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment or punishment. --UN International Declaration of Human Rights

Famous Last Words: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank, half pack of cigarettes, it's dark out, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it Blues Brothers

..........You'd hear the patter of his feet........Kay Kyser …..The Old Lamplighter

88% of parenting is saying “it's bedtime” 150 times between 8 and 9 pm. / The good news is you got a 100% on your child's essay on summer vacation.

May Peace surround you

And Joy encompass you

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: