Famous First Words: Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude... 13th Amendment ratified 12/6/1865
December is the month of gifts. Holidays all over the world suggest gift giving as part of the celebration. Well then, let's unwrap a few laughs. Ӂ An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a woman and tells her that since she has led a good and virtuous life she can received one present. She can have breathtaking beauty, infinite wisdom, or limitless wealth. The woman says, “I'll take the wisdom”. “Wisdom is yours,” says the angel and disappears in another puff. The smoke has not yet cleared before the woman thinks, “I should have taken the money.” Ӂ The gift went to see a shrink because it has several tissues.
..........I got starlight, I got sweet dreams........Ira Gershwin …..I Got Rhythm
Peace is always beautiful. --Walt Whitman
It is a cold (25°F) Friday morning. The sun is shining from a clear blue sky. There is no wind so the light through the big, bare trees casts long, still shadows and creates tiny pools of light against the mottled green and brown lawn. Puck was out calling a good morning to the other dogs in the neighborhood with little response. Now he sleeps on his pillow. I sit here at my desk watching the shadows and pools alter with the movement of the sun. The morning crows have come and gone and no other birds have come to welcome the sun or complain about the cold; so I listen to Puck's snoring. I raise my cup of half-caf and bring the steaming liquid to my face so I can breathe in the fumes to warm my nose and sniff the semi-ambition that claims to haunt the cup. Ah, but it is the ePistle and my thoughts turn to you, the readers. Welcome!
Hope your weekend is filled with gifts – tangible and ethereal. ePistlers
Jeff Foxwothy Kansas Joke of the Week: If you’re proud that your region makes the national news at least 96 times each year because it’s the hottest or the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Wichita, Kansas. --Jeff Foxworthy Kansas Truisms
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: “Doctor, can I get an STD in a public restroom?” “Sure, but there are much more comfortable places.”
Right before he passed away, my friend gave me a present. What am I supposed to do with an EpiPen? Ӂ The birthday present broke up with its wrapping paper because it was way to clingy.
..........Drink it all till you fall down.......Ira Gershwin …..Song of the Rhineland
Trivia Questions: It is Bartender Appreciation Day! Do you know what's in these popular cocktails?
- 1) The most popular cocktail in 2024 is Gin and Tonic. What's in it?
- 2) The second most requested cocktail is the Mojito. What's in it?
- 3) The third most purchased cocktail is the Margarita. What's in it?
- 4) Next in line is the Bloody Mary. What's in it?
- 5) Rounding out the top five is Whiskey and Coke. What's in it?
Big Hello: Bojour – Picard (Belgium and France) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The opposite of formaldehyde is casualdejekyll --Submitted by SH
Classic Image of the Week: Puck 7 years ago
Coffee Humor of the Week: Maybe you should have another cup of coffee; your bra is on backwards. --Submitted by Coffee With Humor
My boyfriend told me if I gave him one more stupid gift, he would burn it. So I'm giving him candles for Christmas. Ӂ I hear that the favorite music among elves is wrap.
..........Maybe Monday, maybe not.......Ira Gershwin …..The Man I Love
Moonbeam: There's a thin line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. --Steven Wright
Blasphemy of the Week: Every church should be able to get a letter of recommendation from the poor in their community. --Bishop Desmond Tutu
Puzzle of the Week: From listener Greg VanMechelen, of Berkeley, CA: Name a state capital. Inside it in consecutive letters is the first name of a popular TV character of the past. Remove that name, and the remaining letters in order will spell the first name of a popular TV game show host of the past. What is the capital and what are the names? NPR Sunday Puzzle 12/1/24
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Every night around 10:30, I realize it's 6 pm
A lottery ticket is a weird gift to give someone. It's like “Here. This has a 99% chance of being disappointing. I saw it and thought of you. Ӂ Guilt: The gift that keeps on giving.
..........Rum ta ta tum tum tum........Ira Gershwin …..Strike Up The Band
1) Gin & Tonic – What you'll need: Tanqueray London Dry Gin, fresh tonic water, a wedge of lime, ice, and a Copa Glass – www.tangueray.com
Almanac: It is Friday, December 6, 2024. The moon will go into the first quarter on Sunday (12/8) and is in Aquarius. Today is Bartender Appreciation Day, International Day To End Femicide, Miners' Day, Mitten Tree Day, National Pawnbrokers Day, National Pfeffernusse Day, and St. Nicholas Day. Because it is the first Friday in December it is also Faux Fur Friday and National Salesperson Day,
Among those born on this day were Henry VI (1421), John Eberhard (1822), William S. Hart (1870), Joyce Kilmer (1886), Lynn Fontanne (1887), Ira Gershwin (1896), Agnes Moorehead (1906), Dave Brubeck (1920), Wally Cox (1924), JoBeth Williams (1948), and Steven Wright (1955).
On December sixth Quito, Ecuador was founded (1534), the first edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica was published (1768), Schumann's Fourth Symphony in D premiered (1841), Harriet Tubman escaped from slavery in Maryland (1849), the thirteenth Amendment was ratified abolishing slavery (1865), the US' first crematorium began operation (1876), Edison made the first sound recording (1877), the first constitution of Irish Free State came into operation (1922), Gerald Ford became the first unelected vice-president (1973), Robert Dole married Elizabeth Hanford (1975), Star Trek VI - The Undiscovered Country premiered (1991), and the Maltese Falcon was auctioned for $398,500 **(1994).
**In the movie Gutman offers Spade $10,000 for it.
Night Sky, 12/6: Orion comes into good view low in the east-southeast after dinner time now. And that means Gemini is also coming up to its left (for the world's mid-northern latitudes). The head stars of the Gemini twins, Castor and Pollux, are at the left end of the Gemini constellation — one over the other, with Castor on top. The stick figures of the Twins are lying on their sides, with their feet toward Orion. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Relaxing in the big red circle
This Week: Saturday, December 7 – Bike Shop Day & International Civil Aviation Day & World Pear Day
Sunday, December 8 – National Day of Lard & Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day & Toilet Paper Appreciation Day
Monday, December 9 – Green Monday & International Anti-Corruption Day & World Techno Day
Night Sky, 12/8: Monocerotids Meteor ShowerThe Monocerotids (MON) become active this week from a radiant located at 06:18 (095) +09. This area of the sky is located in northeastern Orion, 4 degrees northeast of the 1st magnitude orange star known as Betelgeuse (alpha Orionis). Hourly rates should be near 1 per hour no matter your location. With an entry velocity of 43 km/sec., most activity from this radiant would be of medium speed.
Tuesday, December 10 – Dewey Decimal Day & Human Rights Day & Jane Addams Day & Nobel Prize Day
Wednesday, December 11 – International Mountain Day & Kaleidoscope Day & UNICEF's Birthday
Night Sky, 12/11: Venus (magnitude –4.2, crossing the Capricornus-Sagittarius border), gleams in the southwest in evening twilight, higher every week. It remains up for nearly 1½ hours after dark.
Thursday, December 12 – Gingerbread House Day & National Ding-a-Ling Day & Poinsettia Day
My fortune teller friend gave out calendars as Christmas gifts. Mine was lovely except there are 5 months missing from the end. Ӂ The Republican senator suggested that sleeping pills are the best present for those “woke” members of your family.
..........When bottles are popping and dignity's dropping.......Ira Gershwin …..I've Got To Be There
2) Mojito - What you will need: Captain Morgan White Rum OR Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum, lime juice, simple syrup, soda water, and mint leaves. - https://www.captainmorgan.com/en-us/
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Save a CEO Support Universal Health Care!
Moonbeam: Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. --Steven Wright
Fun Fact of the Week: Pfeffernusse – an iced gingerbread cookie from Germany https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/155182/pfeffernusse-cookies/
Video of the Week: Dave Brubeck: Take Five (5:15)
Peace equals the ability to handle conflict, with empathy, nonviolence, and creativity. --Johan Galtung
Is the gift for the 27th wedding anniversary concrete or lead? Ӂ My partner got a job as a car salesperson. So I asked for something that would go from zero to 200 in ten seconds. I got a bathroom scale.
..........You and you alone bring out the gypsy in me.......Ira Gershwin …..Embraceable You
3) Margarita – What you will need: Cuervo Tradicional Plata Tequila, orange liqueur, lime juice, agave nectar, rocks glass rimmed with salt, and a lime wheel. - www.cuervo.com
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The best gift a parent can give a child is presence.
Weird Word of the Week: Velleity – a mere inclination, wish or desire that lacks the strength to overcome personal inertia. http://www.worldwidewords.org/ww-vel3.html
Dragon of the Week: The Dragon House
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Lubricate a pair of pliers. Rub ChapStick lip balm over the pivot joint of the tool https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/chapstick2.html
5 out of 5 experts agree that the best housewarming gift is a furnace. Ӂ My friend Molly could only afford a small fixer-upper house. So I gave her a fir tree as a housewarming present. I thought it would spruce up the place.
...........'S awful nice! 'S paradise!.......Ira Gershwin …..'Swonderful
4) A Bloody Mary – What you will need: Smirnoff No.21, tomato juice, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, black pepper, a lemon wedge, and a celery stick. - https://www.smirnoff.com/en-us
4) B Bloody Mary – What you will need: Jameson Irish Whiskey, tomato juice, Worcestershire sauce, tabasco sauce, a celery stick, celery salt, freshly cracked black pepper, ice cubes, lemon quarters, and prawns or shrimp. Aka Bloody Molly https://www.jamesonwhiskey.com/en/
4) C Disclaimer – the survey I used (visual capitalist) didn't specify what kind of liquor was in the B.M. So I assumed that the stats included a combination. I'm using this survey because of the site name.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Grandchildren are the reward you get for not selling your kids to the circus during their teen years. --Submitted by Aunty Acid
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: GalaxyCon 2024 (6-8, Columbus, OH) Not just a Comic-Con https://galaxycon.com/pages/galaxycon-columbus
Actual Science Conference of the Week: 12th International Conference on Multidisciplinary Research (6-7, Hong Kong) ...Islamic finance and Sharia, law, management... https://www.icmr.igrnet.org/418/hong-kong/
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Montgomery (AL) → Gomer (Plye) & Monty (Hall)
For her birthday, I ordered by grand daughter balloons from Temu. But they keep getting shot down. Ӂ Oh, no. My partner just asked for something for the bath as a birthday present; but I already bought him a toaster.
..........I fell and it was swell.......Ira Gershwin …..I've Got A Crush On You
5) Whisky & Coke – What you will need: Jim Beam Vanilla, cola, a cherry for garnish. ~~Jim Beam has a similar recipe for Devil's Cut & Cola made with Jim Beam Devil's Cut but I found none with plain ole Jim Beam. - https://www.jimbeam.com/en-us/
Conspiracy Theory of the Week: I've always said the country was going in the wrong direction and now that I have this GPS, I can prove it.
Quote of the Week: We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same. --Carlos Castaneda
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Half of Schrodinger's birthday presents to his daughter were dead cats.
Today's Peace of History: December 6, 1865: The state of Georgia provided the final vote needed for the 13th Amendment, abolishing slavery, to become part of the US Constitution.
I bought my partner a new refrigerator for her birthday. I love to see her face light up every time she uses it. Ӂ Alcohol is a gift. That's why it's called depressant.
..........one of these mornings, you're gonna rise up singing.......Ira Gershwin …..Summertime
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, December 6, 2024, gIfted ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.
Moonbeam: You can't have everything. Where would you put it? --Steven Wright
Cost of War:
- As of 12/05/24 State Department Costs: $252,282,603,857
- As of 11/28/24 State Department Costs: $251,750,073,184
- As of 12/05/24 Homeland Security: $1,185,738,048,634
- As of 11/28/24 Homeland Security: $1,185,170,478,148
- As of 12/05/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,263,755,106,861
- As of 11/28/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,262,296,229,523
- As of 12/05/24 Military Costs: $3,119,203,016,214
- As of 11/28/24 Military Costs: $3,118,095,347,154
- As of 12/05/24 Veterans Care: $4,004,848,578,347
- As of 11/28/24 Veterans Care: $3,993,789,935,762
- As of 12/05/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,825,828,731,639
- As of 11/28/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,811,114,775,010
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Peace is a state in which fear of any kind is unknown. --John Buchan
Famous Last Words: ...right here, in this room, together. --Wreck the Halls by Tessa Bailey published 12/5/23
..........Where is the shepherd for this lost lamb.......Ira Gershwin …..Someone To Watch Over Me
They say every day is a gift. And we should all live in the present. Ӂ Why is everyone so mad at me. I was told to bring a hostess present and I brought twinkies.
May
Peace decorate your days
And
Joy ornament your nights
prairie
mama
christine
Last Laugh
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