eLectronic ePistle

Famous First Words: This is Paris... Opening line of the movie An American in Paris

It is Computer Science Education Week (9-15). I am a Computer Science Teacher – what's your excuse? § Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

..........For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin any talking out loud with any librarian.........Dick Van Dyke …..Marian the Librarian …..The Music Man on Broadway

Christmas is about bringing peace and beauty to the world.

It is a cold (27°F, 13 mph wind) Friday morning. The sky overhead is sunny and bright but clouds hover at the edges of the horizon. The browned hydrangeas and the windchimes are blowing sometimes gently and other times strongly. I am drinking half-caf and eating a blueberry muffin. Puck is sleeping on the pile of clothes I have set out to launder. A normal, perhaps typical Friday except for the news that came yesterday. It dominates our hearts and minds. Jo's surgery has been postponed from Monday (12/16) to Monday (1/6). Jo has to live an extra three weeks in pain. So there is a lot of rethinking and replanning and general disappointment. But we will get through it. Send thoughts and prayers, we'll accept them gladly.

Hope your weekend contains no error messages, ePisltiers

Jeff Foxworthy Kansas Joke of the Week: If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around his forehead, you might live in Pratt, KS. https://alicewhite.wordpress.com/2017/08/03/humorous-truisms-about-my-home-state-kansas/

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you can't say anything nice, welcome to the club.

Computer science education cannot make anybody an expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment can make someone an expert painter. § My code doesn't work and I have no idea why.

..........Don't waste your pucker on an all day sucker.........Dick Van Dyke …..Toot Sweets …..Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Trivia Questions: Bah Humbug! What do you know about A Christmas Carol?

^ How many ghosts come to visit Ebenezer?

^^ How many years had Marley been dead?

^^^ Which ghost was a giant?

^^^^ What was Scrooge's nephew named?

^^^^^ Who declares, “God bless us, everyone!”?

Big Hello: Wai – Pitjantjatjara (Central Australia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I hate when people say “eat the rich,” like grow up. Jeff Bezos is gonna feed, what 20 people? Maybe 30? We'd be better suited using the rich to fertilize high yield crops like potatoes or cucumbers. --Submitted by sb of ar

Image of the Week: This year Lawrence parks and rec have installed a tunnel of light in South Park. I do not know who the people are but the photo was taken by ar of Oh! Snap! Photography

Coffee Humor of the Week: Shhh, my coffee and I are having a moment. --Submitted by Coffee Humor

I'm majoring in computer science and minoring in Kinesthetic Enunciative Aggregates – you know, technobabble. § So before I started my class I read Understanding Computers for Dummies. When I got to class the computer was reading Understanding Dummies for Computers.

..........A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be.........Dick Van Dyke …..Chim Chim Cher-ee …..Mary Poppins

Moonbeam: I'm sick of this war. It's not a good war. --Curt Jurgens

Blasphemy of the Week: I don't understand why some Christians who believe in heaven would be upset to hear that it's open to more people than they thought. --Submitted by MMS

Classic Puzzle of the Week: The letters in the name of a major American city can be rearranged to spell a traveling cultural museum. What is it? Each name is a single word, and the city's population is more than a half-million. NPR Sunday Puzzle 11/30/14

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A man who views the world the same at 50 as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. --This may or may not be a quote from Mohammad Ali

Junior Developer: Of course I can rewrite the project this weekend. Senior Developer: Changing the label color, yeah, that'll be 6 weeks. § Well, mom, for an increase in my allowance I can offer unlimited, in-home computer tech support.

..........Brush off the clouds and cheer up.........Dick Van Dyke …..Put On A Happy Face …..Bye Bye Birdie

^ Scrooge is visited by four ghosts: Marley, Christmas Past, Christmas Present, and Christmas Future.

Almanac: It is Friday, December 13, 2024. The moon will be full (Cold) on Sunday (12/15) and is in Taurus. Today is Pick A Pathologist Pal Day, Gingerbread Man Day, National Day of The Horse, National Guard Birthday. Because it is the second Friday it is also National Salesperson Day (Also in March), and Official Lost & Found Day.

Among those born on this day were Mary Todd Lincoln (1818), Curt Jurgens (1893), Van Heflin (1910), Lillian Roth (1910), Dick Van Dyke (1925), Richard Darryl Zannuck (1934), Ted Nugent (1948), R.A. MacAvoy (1949), Steve Buscemi (1957), and Jamie Foxx (1967).

On December thirteenth Francis Drake set sail on this around the world voyage (1577), the first music store in the new world opened (Philadelphia - 1759), A Christmas Carol was published (1843), the Wright Brothers flew (1903), the Mona Lisa was stolen (1911), the clip-on tie was designed (1928), Gershwin's An American in Paris premiered (1928), and James Dean made his first career appearance (1950).

Night Sky, 12/13: Geminids Meteor Shower – More Information http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Reindeer Max, Santa Dad, and Ollie Elf

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: In fairness to insurance executives, people are so selfish with their desire to stay alive that they never stop to consider how the self-centered hospital visits might affect an executive's annual bonus. --Submitted by 98%

This Week: Saturday, December 14 – Monkey Day & Yoga Day & US Park Police Day

Sunday, December 15 – Bill of Rights Day & Cat Herders Day & National Cupcake Day

Night Sky, 12/15: The Summer Triangle is finally sinking low in the west, and Altair is the first of its stars to go (for mid-northern skywatchers). Start by spotting bright Vega, magnitude zero, the brightest star in the northwest right after dark. The brightest one above Vega is Deneb. Altair, the Triangle's third star, is farther to Vega's left or lower left.

Monday, December 16 – National Chocolate-Covered Anything Day & Las Posadas Day One

Tuesday, December 17 – Clean Air Day & Wright Brothers Day

Wednesday, December 18 – Answer The Phone Like Buddy The Elf Day & International Migrants Day

Night Sky, 12/18: Mars (about magnitude –0.7, in Cancer) rises in the east-northeast around 8 pm. It's near its eastern stationary point, pre-opposition. So it still forms the right angle of a rough right triangle with Castor and Pollux above it and Procyon to its right. Mars is 50° east along the ecliptic from brighter Jupiter.

Thursday, December 19 – Look For An Evergreen Day & National Regifting Day

I'm Proud to be a Computer Science Teacher – until I win the lottery. § The longest five second in anyone's life is waiting to press the SKIP AD button. § Where's your computer project? At the gym. Why? You said to make it buffer.

..........Leeries trip the lights and lead the way.........Dick Van Dyke …..Trip A Little Light Fantastic …..Mary Poppins Returns Dick Van Dyke was in Mary Poppins Returns 2018

^^ Jacob Marley died seven years earlier on Christmas eve.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I had a wildly stodgy Latin professor at Dartmouth who'd wave away stuff like this. “Pedantry. Bullshit. This is English, the shower drain of languages. Entrepreneur and schadenfreude are words. 'Set' has 35 definitions. Intelligibility is the only rule. Do as you please.” --Submitted by Laughing Librarian

Moonbeam: In grief, words are poor consolation; silence and agonizing tears are all that is left for the sufferer. --Mary Todd Lincoln

Fun Fact of the Week; Dick Van Dyke dances and sings in Coldplay's latest video, All My Love, which is being released today – his 99^th birthday.

Video of the Week: James Dean in a 1950 Pepsi commercial: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8hcn1l

The thankful heart opens to the true gifts of Christmas – love, peace, and joy.

Wow, a different error message...finally some progress. § I tried kicking my computer but it still didn't start. Should I kick it again? You know, that's not what they mean by “rebooting”.

..........If you hear us come a'callin' won't you open up your door.........Dick Van Dyke …..We're Going Caroling Dick sang this with Jane Lynch in 2017

^^^ The ghost of Christmas Present was about 8 feet tall.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You know you've had too much coffee when you don't sweat, you percolate. --Submitted by Coffee With Humor

Weird Word of the Week: Honeyfuggle: to deceive or cheat someone by talking to them nicely. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/honeyfuggle#:~:text=%3A%20deceive%2C%20cheat%2C%20cozen,dialectal%20%3A%20flatter%2C%20cajole%2C%20blandish

Dragon of the Week: 

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Lubricate a leafed dining room table. Having trouble pulling apart your leafed dining room table to insert another leaf? Lubricate the metal runners under the table by rubbing ChapStick along the runners so table halves slide apart easily. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/chapstick2.html

What are you working on? I'm trying to fix the problems I created when I tried to fix the problems I created when I tried to fix the problems... § My computer teacher threw sodium chloride at me. That's a salt.

...........Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way.........Dick Van Dyke …..Kids …..Bye Bye Birdie Dick Van Dyke was in Bye Bye Birdie on Broadway in 1960 and in the movie

^^^^ Scrooge's nephew (his sister's boy) was named Fred Hollywell.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I hung my Christmas lights on the house across the street. That way I can see them from my living room window. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: There are apparently no sci-fi conventions left this year. Science Fiction Conventions – where else can a woman who was in 2 episodes of the original Star Trek make a living off conventions for the next 50 years.

Daughter of Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Yesterday's procrastination is today's shitshitshitshit

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Art & Science Plenary (12/13/24, Washington, DC) The new! The now! The next! https://www.agu.org/annual-meeting

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Baltimore (MD) --> Artmobile

Sorry I didn't do better in computer class. My teacher wanted to send you my report card over the internet but I told her you think computers are a fad. § Wow, great class. I got an “A” in forwarding email jokes.

..........Never need a reason, never need a rhyme.........Dick Van Dyke …..Step In Time …..Mary Poppins …..Dick Van Dyke starred in Mary Poppins in 1964

^^^^^ Tiny Tim said, “God bless us, everyone” and is quoted in the last line of the story.

National Day of the Horse Joke of the Week: I put a bet down on a horse with excellent breeding. After she left the gate, she closed it behind her.

Quote of the Week: To be silent the whole day long, see no newspaper, hear no radio, listen to no gossip, be thoroughly and completely lazy, thoroughly and completely indifferent to the fate of the world is the finest medicine a man can give himself. --Henry Miller

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Unpacked our Nativity scene yesterday. Removed all Jews, Arabs, and foreigners. Ended up with a jackass and a handful of sheep. --Submitted by gr of oh

Today's Peace of History: December 13, 1993: Susan A. Maxman became first woman president of the American Institute of Architects in its 135 year history

AutoCorrect: Go straight to he'll. § My code works and I have no idea why.

..........Wave goodbye to cares of the day.........Dick Van Dyke …..Hushabye Mountain …..Chitty Chitty Bang Band ~~Dick Van Dyke starred in Chitty Chitty Bang Band in 1968

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, December 13, 2024, eLectronic ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: I'm a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. –-Lillian Roth

Cost of War:

As of 12/12/24 State Department Costs: $252,840,307,564

As of 12/05/24 State Department Costs: $252,282,603,857

As of 12/12/24 Homeland Security: $1,186,343,814,310

As of 12/05/24 Homeland Security: $1,185,738,048,634

As of 12/12/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,265,312,808,865

As of 12/05/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,263,755,106,861

As of 12/12/24 Military Costs: $3,120,385,719,347

As of 12/05/24 Military Costs: $3,119,203,016,214

As of 12/12/24 Veterans Care: $4,016,656,727,498

As of 12/05/24 Veterans Care: $4,004,848,578,347

As of 12/12/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,841,540,758,224

As of 12/05/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,825,828,731,639

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Wrap yourself in the peace and warmth that Christmas provides.

Famous Last Words: Both the year's, and the day's deep midnight is. --John Donne A Nocturnal Upon St Lucy's Day

..........The cream of every famous band.........Dick Van Dyke …..76 Trombones …..The Music Man ~~Dick Van Dyke played Harold Hill on broadway in 1979-80

My attitude is not bad, it's in beta. § My teacher refers to the macbook charger as Apple Juice.

May Peace teach your soul

And Joy instruct your heart

prairie mama

christine

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