gRinning ePistle

 Famous First Words: An Act for the encouragement of learning... Copyright Act of 1790

It's National Smile Day! Smiles are 1) Fat free 2) Sugar free 3) reduce blood pressure 4) help relieve pain 5) Lighten Depression 6) Require no batteries AND 7) are absolutely free of cost. / You can't breathe through your nose while you're smiling...of course you can, I just wanted to make you smile.

..........never bargained for you..........Led Zepplin with John Bonham …..Dazed and Confused

Minister, Sinister, Banisters and Canisters All we are saying is give peace a chance. --Lennon and Ono

It is warm (66°F), rainy Friday morning. The sky is solid gray clouds with spots that are somehow grayer but without real differentiation. There is little to no breeze so the willow branches seem to be sleeping and the mulberry moves only as birds land on its limbs. Earlier birds' song is now hushed and even motor sounds and wheels squealing in the rain are gone. (The mulberries are gone from this tree, but there is still mulberry bird crap on the windshield of the car which always stays in the garage when it's home.) Puck is snoring gently under my feet as a counterpoint to the hum of the computer. My creamy decaf opens up my nostrils and feels good flowing down my throat. Ah, what a pleasant morning.

Hope the weekend puts a smile on your face, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My patience is basically like a gift card...not sure how much is left on it but we can give it a try. --Submitted by INRITH

Your smile must be a mighty black hole, nothing can escape its pull. / Smiles are like underwear. They keep your cheeks up.

..........You know you're my one desire .........Led Zepplin with John Bonham …..I Can't Quit You, Baby

Trivia Questions: It is World No Tobacco Day

• ^ Which country has the highest percentage of smokers?
• ^^ Where does the US rank?
• ^^^ How much nicotine is in the average cigarette?
• ^^^^ What is the lethal dose of nicotine?
• ^^^^^ Which country has the lowest percentage of smokers?

Big Hello: Hęr's cē – Muscogee (Creek/Seminole: Oklahoma) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm ~~The first e is suppose to have a line (macron) over the top as well as the squiggle (cedilla) under it. My special characters didn't seem to have such a thing. I have no idea how it is pronounced.

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Help! I've fallen and I can't think of a reason to get up.

Image of the Week: This year's hollyhocks. --Picture by jm of ks

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 5 out of 5 dentists and librarians think it's gross to chew on those tiny library pencils. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. --Phyllis Diller / Beauty is power; a smile is its sword. --John Ray

..........I'm gonna give you every inch of my love .........Led Zepplin with John Bonham …..Whole Lotta Love

Moonbeam: Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. --Walt Whitman

Blasphemy of the Week: Planet before Profit

Puzzle of the Week: From the noted crossword constructor and editor Peter Gordon. Think of a famous film with a three-word title (six letters in the first word, three letters in the second, and four letters in the last), in which the first and last words are rhymes for consecutive numbers. What movie is it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 5/16/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My preferred brand of sunscreen is a house. --dr of oh

Guess what I'm wearing. The smile you gave me. / Youth smiles without any reason. It is one of its chiefest charms. --Thomas Gray

..........You send me the blues way down the line .........Led Zepplin with John Bonham …..The Lemon Song

^ Nauru is the country with the highest percentage of smokers at 42.1%. Nauru, formerly Pleasant Island, is a country in Oceania with a population of 12,668; so about 5,333 people in the country smoke.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 31, 2024. The moon reached the last quarter yesterday (5/30) and is in Pisces. It is World No-Tobacco Day (W.H.O.), National Macaroon Day, Heat Safety Awareness Day, and What You Think Upon Grows Day.

Among those born on this day were Walt Whitman (1819), Emily Bissell (1861), Norman Vincent Peale (1898), Don Ameche (1908), Scoop Jackson (1912), Robert A. Ley (1921), Jim Hutton (1934), Peter Yarrow (1938), Johnny Paycheck (1941), Joe Namath (1943), John Bonzo Bonham (1948), Rhea Perlman (1948), Tom Berenger (1950), Chris Elliott (1960), and Lea Thompson (1961).

On May thirty-first women revolted in Amsterdam (1531), the colony of Massachusetts annexed the colony of Maine (1634), Lady Godiva wrote through Coventry (1678), US Copyright laws were enacted (1790), the New Orlean's mint closed (1861), Gilmore's Garden was renamed Madison Square Garden (1879), the first taxis picked up fares in NYC (1907), the 17th Amendment was ratified (direct election of senators, 1913), Lennon and Ono recorded "Give Peace a Chance" (1969), and Jim Wright resigned as speaker of the house (1989).

Night Sky, 5/31: Vega is the brightest star on the northeastern side of the sky. Arcturus is the brightest high overhead. A third of the way from Arcturus to Vega is dim Corona Borealis, the semicircular Northern Crown. Its one moderately bright star is Alpha Cor Bor, a.k.a. Gemma or Alphecca, magnitude 2.2. But within the next year or so, astronomers expect there may suddenly be two! Because T Coronae Borealis, a famous recurrent nova, shows signs (a gradual dimming) of being about to blow again for its first time since 1946. If it does, it could match the brightness of Alphecca. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max and Ollie making faces at the sound

This Week: Saturday, June 1 – Drawing Day aka Pencil Day & National Black Bear Day & National Trails Day & Go Barefoot Day

Sunday, June 2 – National Gun Violence Awareness Day

Night Sky, 6/2: To many people, "Cassiopeia" means "Cold." Late fall and winter are when this landmark constellation stands high overhead. But even on hot June evenings, it still lurks low (as seen from mid-northern latitudes). As twilight fades out, look for it down near the north horizon: a wide, upright W. The farther north you are the higher it'll appear, but even as far south as San Diego and Atlanta it's completely above the horizon.

Monday, June 3 – Bike Travel Day & National Egg Day & World Bicycle Day

Tuesday, June 4 – Audacity to Hope Day & Hug Your Cat Day & National Punk Day

Wednesday, June 5 – Festival of Popular Delusions Day & World Environment Day

Thursday, June 6 – National Eyewear Day & World Pest Day & Yo-yo Day

Night Sky, 6/6: Mars and Saturn are up in early dawn. The highest and easiest is Saturn, in the southeast. It's magnitude 1.2, fairly modest, but there's nothing else that bright anywhere near it. Its background is dim Aquarius. Look for Mars far lower left of Saturn, by roughly three fists at arm's length. It's magnitude 1.1, and again, nothing else there is as bright. Mars lies in dimmer Pisces.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. / She gave me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket. --Raymond Chandler

..........Gonna make me sweat, gonna make me move .........Led Zepplin with John Bonham …..Black Dog

^^ 11.5% of US citizens smoke cigarettes. This comes to about 28.3 million people. This does not count cigar smokers or people who use nicotine in vapes.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: T-Shirt: Will Trade Racists For Refugees –Submitted by akb of kc

Moonbeam: To me, every day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle. --Walt Whitman

My Very Own Conspiracy Theory of the Week: It's Alito's wife who supported the January Coup with flags and Thomas' wife who gave support to the insurrectionists with texts (and who knows what else). I believe that there is a Supreme Wives Club and it is plotting to take over the United States one recreational vehicle at a time.

Video of the Week: Peter Yarrow singing We Shall Overcome (5:20)

Revolution, Evolution, Mastrubation, Flagellation, Regulation All we are saying is give peace a chance.

If you see me laughing in public it's because the voices in my head are telling jokes. / A smile is the chosen vehicle of all ambiguities. --Herman Melville

..........There's a feeling I get when I look to the west .........Led Zepplin with John Bonham …..Stairway to Heaven

^^^ Nicotine levels vary greatly from brand to brand. On average, each cigarette contains roughly 10-12 milligrams of nicotine. This ranges from 6 mg on the low end to 28 mg on the high side. Only about 1.2-1.8 mg enter the body for each cigarette smoked. 22-35 mg inhaled per pack

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The “Lock Her Up” crowd is freaking out about “Lock Him Up”. See, pronouns DO matter. --Submitted by ff of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Idioticon: n. A dictionary of a specific dialect, or of the words and phrases peculiar to one part of a country. Idioticon (worldwidewords.org) This etymology is interesting.

Dragon of the Week:

Hippy Update of the Week: So on Wednesday, I got my last teeth removed and a bottom plate put in. Now my hip and my mouth both hurt. Actually, it didn't take very long at all (that is after waiting 45 minutes in the waiting room) and I have to wear the new plate for 24 hours because one's gums swell. My tongue is complaining because it's favorite place to hang out is now full of teeth but it's going to have to get used to it. When they put in the new plate they poked around and then gave me a mirror to see what they/I looked like. The teeth looked okay but my mouth was full of blood and I looked like a vampire. It was horrible. I did say goodbye to the teeth the night before. It's been at least 70 years. That's not a bad run. Next thing on the list is the surgery itself.

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Loosen rusty nuts and bolts. Pour Canada Dry Club Soda over them. The carbonation bubbles away rust. Canada Dry® Club Soda: Wacky Uses

If you see me smiling, it's because I'm thinking of doing something evil or, at least, naughty. If you see me laughing, I've already done it. / Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles. --George Eliot

...........It is the summer of my smiles .........Led Zepplin with John Bonham …..The Rain Song

^^^^ The fatal human dose of nicotine has been estimated to be 50-60 mg. Centers for Disease Control & Prevention

Toothy Update of the Week: It is now Thursday night. My lower plate is so loose it will not stay in place when I talk or eat - two things I used my mouth for a lot. I hope this hip is worth it.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I think my guardian angel drinks. --Submitted by jm of ks

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Narrativity 2024 – A Convention for Story (5/30-6/2, Plymouth, MN) –Romancing the Muse Narrativity – A Convention for Story

Actual Science Conference of the Week: American Society of Mechanical Engineers Hawaii Section General Meeting (5/31, Online event) Global networking on a local level ASME Sections | Local Engineering Chapters

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Heaven Can Wait

A group of smiles is called a joy-brigade. / Measure the brightness of a smile with a light-year scale.

..........The winds of Thor are blowing cold .........Led Zepplin with John Bonham …..No Quarter

^^^^^ Ghana records the lowest smoking rate with a mere 3.7% of its population indulging. That's about 1,250,000 people.

Science Quote of the Week: If you are filling a glass and reach the halfway point, it's half-full. If you are emptying a glass and reach the halfway point, it's half-empty. No need to invoke your emotional state. --Neil deGrasse Tyson --Submitted by SH

Quote of the Week: If you aren't going all the way, why go at all? --(Broadway) Joe Namath

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When life gives you mold, make penicillin. --Submitted by SH

Today's Peace of History, May 31, 1531: The burgomasters of Amsterdam decided to build a storehouse for wool on The Holy Place (why was it Holy? In 1345, a dying man had just received the holy sacrament, and then vomited right back up and the vomit was thrown into the fire and in the morning when the coals were raked over the sacrament was found to be still a prefect white and in tact making this location, The Holy Place). So when the government wanted to build this storehouse for wool in this very Holy Place...The pious women of Amsterdam petitioned the burgomasters not to commit this horror in The Holy Place. But, the burgomasters unmoved began to dig the foundation for the wool storehouse. And on this night, so very long ago, 300 pious women with shovels in hand refilled the foundation dirt back into the holes dug that day. And this was, The Women's Uprising of 1531 or revolt of 1531.

Susie Smile is also a black belt in Grin-jitsu. / I'm planning a Smile Convention at the nudist park. The theme is Grin and Bear It.

..........I hear the rested rivers call .........Led Zepplin with John Bonham …..The Rover

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 31, 2024, gRinning ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: A morning-glory at my window satisfies me more than the metaphysics of books. --Walt Whitman

Cost of War:

• As of 05/30/24 State Department Costs: $237,256,364,747.
• As of 05/23/24 State Department Costs: $236,702,199,114.
• As of 05/30/24 Homeland Security: $1,169,416,424,936.
• As of 05/23/24 Homeland Security: $1,168,814,492,297.
• As of 05/30/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,221,785,165,967.
• As of 05/23/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,220,237,412,378.
• As of 05/30/24 Military Costs: $3,087,336,946,327.
• As of 05/23/24 Military Costs: $3,086,161,797,544.
• As of 05/30/24 Veterans Care: $3,686,705,952,112.
• As of 05/23/24 Veterans Care: $3,674,973,713,907.
• As of 05/30/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,402,502,154,698.
• As of 05/23/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,386,890,980,943.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Let's hear it for the people now. All we are saying is give peace a chance.

Famous Last Words: Warry, shift. --Walt Whitman

..........We can watch the white dove go .........Led Zepplin with John Bonham …..Houses of the Holy

Keep smiling and one day life will get tired of upsetting you. / A smile is happiness you'll find right under your nose. --Tom Wilson

May Peace smile on you
And you smile with Joy
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh:

sIgned ePistle

 Famous First Words: What hath God wrought? --First telegraph message

Time of the Signs: Yard Sale! Our crap could be YOUR crap. / Take My Ex's Stuff Yard Sale. It's all gotta go. Just like him. / Going to Jail Sale

..........World's too crazy, I can't take no more.........Patti LeBelle …..Stir It Up

As feminist peace activists from around the world, we continue to demand that governments take immediate action to end the daily threat and impact of weapons on people and communities everywhere. --International Women's Day for Peace and Disarmament

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. The sky is spotted with fluffy white puffs floating slowing north on a 10 mph breeze. 75°F is delightful against the skin and welcomed by the lush green leaves. There are still a few bright red mulberries on the tree, but most have turned purple and been consumed by uncounted species and colors and voices of birds. The willow is waving to the clouds from the full foliage of the bottom to the small branches at the very top. Bird song is chirping from unseen limbs hidden by the storage shed. Puck has been out and back and is taking his early morning nap at my feet. Veronica always sits at the door waiting for Puck to return and then disappears upstairs for the rest of the day. I sip creamy sweet decaf and type...fingers properly poised...hovering over the keys. Green incense fills the room with fake pine to pretend that room is part of the nature in the backyard. Hum, clouds seem to be thicker now, gathering together for some spring mischief perhaps. It seems like a good sign.

Hope your weekend is a sign of good times, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sign outside a British Pub: All Americans must be accompanied by an adult.

House for Sale or Rent! For Lease Navidad / This building is NOT for sale or rent. If you are NOT interested in this building please call the owner at (555) 555-5555 / For Sale Not Haunted

..........Baby, we know who we are.........Rosanne Cash, John Haitt & the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band …..One Step Over The Line

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Morse Code!

• ^ From where to where was the first message sent?
• ^^ How much did installation of the first telegraph line cost, more or less?
• ^^^ When did the US complete transcontinental telegraph lines?
• ^^^^ Telegram use peaked around 1929. How many telegrams were sent that year?
• ^^^^^ Can you still send a telegraph in the US today?

Big Hello: Ne y windiga – Mossi (Burkina-Faso, Mali & Togo) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The only reason there are pyramids in Egypt is because they were too heavy to move to the British Museum. --Submitted by FNOG

Image of the Week: Ankle Pumps – A Pre-Op exercise for total hip replacement ~~The best ones, however, are butt squeezes

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Which came first, library's use of tiny pencils or the tiny pockets in cardigans? https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Church Sign Humor: Go, God! / Don't Make Me Come Down There. --God / Jesus loves you and your tattoos. / Hipster Jesus loved you before you were cool. / This church is not full of hypocrites. There is always room for more. / Every Church Member Should Be Committed. / Sermon: Do You Know What Hell Is?. Come hear our new organist.

..........To be on your own, with no direction home.........Bob Dylan ….Like A Rolling Stone

Moonbeam: He who stops being better stops being good. --Oliver Cromwell

Blasphemy of the Week: You cringe when a man says he “identifies” as a woman. I understand. I feel the same way when you “identify” as a Christian. --Submitted by sb of ar

Puzzle of the Week: Think of a well-known seven-letter geographical name in a single word that has just two consonants and yet is pronounced in five syllables. --NPR Sunday Puzzle 5/19/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: ...and, um..uh. Sorry, my train of thought suddenly became a golf cart of vague notions.

Keep Off the Grass! Do Not Disturb Tiny grass is dreaming / Your feet are killing me / No Signs on Grass / Brown Grass is Sexy / Please Don't Stomp Here There are seeds and they are trying / GET OFF MY LAWN … NOW

..........I'm a'going back out 'fore the rain starts a-falling.........Bob Dylan ….A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall

^ The first telegram was sent from Baltimore, MD to Washington, DC. (40 miles). The Baltimore-Washington telegraph line was the first long-distance telegraph system set up to run overland in the US.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 25, 2024. The moon was full (Flower) yesterday (5/23) and is in Sagittarius. It is International Women's Day for Disarmament, Brother's Day, Don't Fry Day, Heat Awareness Day, International Tiara Day, Morse Code Day, National Escargot Day, and National Wig Out Day.

Among those born on this day were George III (1738), Jean-Paul Marat (1743), Oliver Cromwell (1753), Thomas Duncan (1807), Samuel Newhouse (1895), Clifford Irving (1914), Tommy Chong (1938), Dixie Carter (1939), Bob Dylan (1941), Frank Oz (1943), Gary Burghoff (1943), Patti Labelle (1944), Priscilla Presley (1945), and Rosanne Cash (1955).

On May twenty fourth the Methodist Church was established (1738), the first passenger rail line opened in the US (1830), the first telegraph message was tapped out (1844), the first black university in the US opened (Lincoln U, 1854), the Pottawatomie Massacre took place (KS, 1856), the Anti-Monopoly party and the Greenback party merged to become the People's Party (1884), the first auto repair shop in the US opened (Boston, 1899), Edison patented telescribe to record telephone conversations (1915), racial segregation in the District of Columbia was outlawed (1951), and Willie Mays joined the Giants (1951).

Night Sky, 5/24: Vega is the brightest star shining in the east-northeast after dark. Look lower left of it, by about two fists at arm's length, for Deneb, less bright. Those stars are two thirds of the Summer Triangle. So where's the third? It's Altair. With summer still four weeks away (astronomically speaking), it stays below the eastern horizon until somewhat after dark. Watch for it to clear the horizon three or four fists at arm's length to Vega's lower right. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Max and Ollie discovered water at the end of their trip to the Children's Museum.

This Week: Saturday, May 25 – International Plastic Free Day & National Missing Children's Day & Towel Day

Sunday, May 26 – National Paper Airplane Day & Neighbor Day

Night Sky, 5/26: The waning gibbous Moon rises around midnight. Once it's well up, cover it with your fingertip to help reveal that it's in the middle of the Sagittarius Teapot.

Monday, May 27 – Memorial Day & Prayer for Peace Memorial Day & Hamburger Day

Tuesday, May 28 – Amnesty International Founders Day & Women's Golf Day

Wednesday, May 29 – National Alligator Day & Put A Pillow On Your Fridge Day & World Otter Day

Night Sky, 5/29: Have you tried for Mercury in the dawn? It's very low in the east a half hour before sunrise. This is about your last chance at Mercury this apparition. Bring binoculars.

Thursday, May 30 – National Creativity Day & World MS (Multiple Sclerosis) Day

Traffic Ahead: Beware of...Just Beware / Weed Limit 420 / Caution – Trees Don't Move / I'd turn back if I were you.

..........Like it was written in my soul from me to you.........Bob Dylan ….Tangled Up In Blue

^^ Funding for the Baltimore-Washington line was $30,000.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I am so tired of Reserved Parking signs. They're all over campus. I'm looking for the sign that says Parking With Wild Abandonment.

Moonbeam: Religion is run by thought police. --Tommy Chong

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen, and they made that movie so that when people googled “Walt Disney Frozen” the movie would come up first. --LizardPossum

Another Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Civilization is an elaborate plot to make us wear clothes.

Video of the Week: Frank Oz as Fozzie Bear (:59) short videos fozzie bear - Google Search
Yet despite the wide-ranging and devastating impact of weapons, governments and corporations continue to perpetuate the arms trade at the expense of human lives and security. --International Women's Day for Peace and Disarmament

Traffic Signs: Don't Be A Stinker, Use Your Blinker / We'll be Blunt! Don't Drive High! / Did it come with a turn signal? / Camp in the Ozarks, Not the Left Lane / Road Work Next 15 years

..........Please don't let on that you knew me when..........Bob Dylan ….Just Like A Woman

^^^ The first transcontinental telegraph line was completed October 24, 1961. It connected the Eastern US lines with a network of lines in California. It had links through Omaha, Carson City, and Salt Lake City.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I run a tight shipwreck. -- Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Haptic – the sense of touch of tactile sensation Haptic (worldwidewords.org)

Dragon of the Week:

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove grease from a car windshield. Keep a bottle filled with Canada Dry Club Soda in the trunk of your car. Canada Dry® Club Soda: Wacky Uses ~~Do we think just keeping it in the trunk works or do we have to apply it?

Burma Shave! Heaven's latest neophyte signaled left then turned right / A nut at the wheel, A peach on his right, A curve in the road, Fruit salad that night / The bearded lady tried a jar, She's now a famous movie star. Burma Shave

...........So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late..........Bob Dylan ….All Along The Watchtower

^^^^ It is estimated that worldwide 200 million telegrams were sent in 1929.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Roses are red, Well, sometimes they're blue; depends on their velocity relative to you. --Submitted by SH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Phoenix Fan Fusion 2024 (24-26, Phoenix, AZ) Discover Your Inner Geek Fan Fusion | Comics, Anime, and Gaming Convention | Phoenix, June 2-4, 2023 (phoenixfanfusion.com)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Mathematical Statistics and Actuarial Science (ICMSAS) (24, New York, NY) ...calculate the date and time of your own death International Conference On Mathematical Statistics And Actuarial Science (internationalconferencealerts.com)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: 2 consonants and 5 syllables: Oceania

Restaurant Signs: Water fountain for your Dog or Short People with low standards. We don't judge. / Soup of the Day – Whiskey / In case of fire, please leave the building before pasting on social media.

..........I see my light come shining.........Bob Dylan ….I Shall Be Released

^^^^^ iTelegram took over the telegram business in 2006. You can send via the iTelegram website or via Deskmail, a legacy Windows program.

Hippy Update of the Week: I have finished all of the doctor visits, videoes, and reading materials required before surgery. My final dentist procedure is scheduled for May 29^th. I am now working on requirements for coming back home after surgery. All bedding and bathroom linens, towels, etc. must be freshly laundered to avoid infection. We are to remove all throw rugs (and all the blankets that the cat and dog have laying all over the house as spare beds), a riser for the toilet seat (optional), and a two-wheeled walker (borrowed from Independence, Inc's lending closet). Jeff has been doing my laundry since he has had to carry the basket in and out because I can't use a cane AND carry anything worth carrying. I've contacted meals on wheels to deliver prepared meals for a month. Also gathering various otc meds I'll need – baby aspirin and senokot and equipment (stocking puller upper, shoe horn on a stick, grapper – (I have one, it's a “dragon” grapper) I had no idea that preparing for surgery was a full time job.

Quote of the Week: The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly. --Robert Anton Wilson --Submitted by Anti-Capitalist Education

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Honestly, I love every single some of you. --Submitted by RHOZ

Today's Peace of History, May 24, 1968: Four protesters, including Phil Berrigan and Tom Lewis, were sentenced in Baltimore, Maryland, to six years each in prison for pouring blood on draft records.

Miscellaneous signs: Is your Refrigerator running? I might vote for it. / We serve kale with a silent k / Eat here or we'll both starve. / On This Spot in April 1, 1780 Nothing Happened

..........In the jingle jangle morning I'll come following you..........Bob Dylan ….Mr Tambourine Man

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 24, 2024, sIgned ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Life moved on like a river, and water could not long remember the bruise it had received from a rock upstream. --Clifford Irving

Cost of War:

• As of 05/23/24 State Department Costs: $236,702,199,114.
• As of 05/16/24 State Department Costs: $236,164,891,934.
• As of 05/23/24 Homeland Security: $1,168,814,492,297.
• As of 05/16/24 Homeland Security: $1,168,230,906,486.
• As of 05/23/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,220,237,412,378.
• As of 05/16/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,218,736,965,981.
• As of 05/23/24 Military Costs: $3,086,161,797,544.
• As of 05/16/24 Military Costs: $3,085,022,572,885.
• As of 05/23/24 Veterans Care: $3,674,973,713,907.
• As of 05/16/24 Veterans Care: $3,663,600,043,634.
• As of 05/23/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,386,890,980,943.
• As of 05/16/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,371,756,926,330.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Government action is urgently needed to address the vast impacts of weapons on human lives and human security, and to work towards a future of peace, equality, and justice for all. --International Women's Day for Peace and Disarmament.

Famous Last Words: Aidez-moi, ma chère amie! --Jean-Paul Marat

..........And don't speak too soon for the wheel's still in spin.........Bob Dylan ….The Times They Are Achangin'

Personal Signs: To the thief who stole my anti-depressants, I hope you're happy. / Anyone caught exiting through this door will be asked to leave. / Parking available in empty spaces only.

May Peace describe your actions
And Joy detail your relationships
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh:

pOor little rich ePistle

 Famous First Words: These cases come to us from the states of Kansas... Brown v Board of Education decision

Tired of billionaires ruining your life, at least we can laugh at them. A 90 year old billionaire was dragged into the abyss by a long tentacle of an old Lovecraftian god. It was an elder rich horror. And what they actually contribute to society. We were so poor we couldn't even pay attention.

..........Home of the brave, land of the free.........Taj Mahal …..Bourgeois Blues

How many people in Ukraine, Afghanistan, Syria, Yemen, Iraq, Palestine, and countless other countries must die for the global powers to maintain this world order? --WILPF

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. 58°F is a near perfect temperature and there is no breeze to cool the air or make the willow wave. A clear blue sky without clouds is the background for the sun rising over the roof. It picks out the nearly ripe mulberries, red - not yet purple, clinging to the branches waiting for the birds to discover them. Bird chatter can be heard but the birds are unseen. Branches of far mulberry are bobbing and waving as wildlife enjoys a special breakfast. Engine buzzing sounds drown out the bird song but then travels on and leaves only the bird chorus once more gracing the day. It is like I have my own personal, organic music box in the backyard. Delicious! I light an incense cone and watch as the smoke slithers down the waterfall/smokefall and fills the room with pine scent. O, what a morning, and now I get to write to you. I certainly have a great life.

May your weekend be rich in coin and company, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: People often mistake me for an adult because of my age. --Submitted by INRITH

Do sick billionaires say “I feel like a million bucks?” We were so poor we couldn't even fly off the handle; we had to take a greyhound.

..........Paint my mailbox blue.........Taj Mahal …..Going Up to the Country

Trivia Questions: It is Endangered Species Day!

• ^ Who maintains the Endangered Species List?
• ^^ What kinds of species are included in the list?
• ^^^ How many species have completely disappeared since the ESL was first created?
• ^^^^ How many new species were added to the list last year?
• ^^^^^ How many species have recovered and been delisted?

Big Hello: Manahύύ – Mono (Uto-Aztecab – California) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I know five weird people and you are 4 of them. --Submitted by RHOZ

Image of the Week: Northern Lights in Kansas (5/10/24)

Ghost Conspiracy theory of the Week: Kansas (and other relatively southern states) skies have gone gay. It's because of woke.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 25% of librarians will let you know about the typo in your post. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Billionaire space tourists are like buses...you wait ages for one to arrive and then two come along at the same time. We were so poor that my mom would make us Hamburger Helper without the hamburger.

..........Ain't been no lovin' since you been gone.........Taj Mahal …..Corrina

Moonbeam: Art has the power to reveal secrets and unlock truths hidden within our souls. --Botticelli

Blasphemy of the Week: Conservatives say subversive literature can make you liberal. For me, it was the New Testament. --Submitted by MMS

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Jim Bricker, of Wayland, MA. Think of three common six-letter words that have vowels in the second and fifth positions. The last five letters of the words are the same. Only the first letters differ and none of the words rhyme with either of the others. What words are they? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 5/12/24

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

I wish I was a billionaire just like my dad. No, he's not a billionaire, he just wishes he was one too. We were so poor, mom used to serve big bowls of steam soup.

..........one with the big wide screen.........Taj Mahal …..TV Mama

^ The Fish and Wildlife Service has maintained a worldwide list of endangered species since 1967. The FWS is a US federal agency that manages national wildlife refuges, maintains the list, and other wildlife tasks. U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (fws.gov)

Almanac: It is Friday, May 17, 2024. The moon moved into the first quarter last Wednesday (5/15) and is in Virgo. It is World Telecommunication and Information Society Day (ITU), Endangered Species Day, International Virtual Assistants Day, NASCAR Day, National Bike to Work Day, National Defense Transportation Day, National Pizza Party Day, Pack Rat Day, Syttende Mai, World Hypertension Day, World Information Science Day, World Telecommunications Day, and World Neurofibromatosis Day (NF Day).

Among those born on this day were Botticelli (1444), John Penn (1741), Maureen O'Sullivan (1911), Archibald Cox (1912), Dennis Hopper (1936), Taj Mahal (1942), Sugar Ray Leonard (1956), and Bob Saget (1956).

On May seventeenth Halley's comet was recorded for the seventh time (218), the first merry-go-round was ridden (Turkey, 1620), Joliet & Marquette began their trip up the Mississippi (1673), the rubber band was patented (1845), the saxophone was patented (1846), the first Kentucky Derby was run (1875), Buffalo Bill Cody produced his first Wild West Show (1883), Alaska became a US territory (1884), the first weekly comic paper was published (London, 1890), Brown v Topeka Board of Education reversed the 1896 "separate but equal" Plessy v Ferguson decision. (1954), and Israel and Lebanon signed a peace treaty (1983).

Night Sky, 5/17: Tonight the dark limb of the waxing gibbous Moon occults Beta Virginis, magnitude 3.6, for telescope users across most of North America. The occultation happens after midnight in the Eastern and Central time zones, and late evening farther west. If you're near the West Coast the Moon will miss the star. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The mom, the boys, and the mermaid

This Week: Saturday, May 18 – Buy A Musical Instrument Day & International Museum Day & Morel Mushrooms Day & Do Dah Day

Sunday, May 19 – May Ray Day & National Scooter Day & Pentecost

Night Sky, 5/19: The waxing gibbous Moon shines brightly in the south after dark. But not so brightly as to hide Corvus, the Crow, a little more than a fist directly under it. Cover the Moon with your hand to make Corvus easier to see. Its four main stars are all between magnitude 2.6 and 3.0. They're within 8° of each other, smaller than your fist at arm's length.

Monday, May 20 – National Rescue Dog Day & Victoria Day & Weights and Measures Day & World Bee Day

Tuesday, May 21 – American Red Cross Founder's Day & International Tea Day & National Waitstaff Day & World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and Development

Wednesday, May 22 – International Being You Day & National Maritime Day & Sherlock Holmes Day & World Goth Day

Night Sky, 5/22: Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune are veiled by the sun's glare.

Thursday, May 23 – Eat More Fruits and Vegetables Day & National Taffy Day & World Turtle Day

The USA elected a billionaire that is appointing other billionaires to fix the system that made them billionaires. I laughed so hard thinking about this that milk came out of my nose. We were so poor we used to paint our feet to look like shoes.

..........Baby, do you want to go.........Taj Mahal …..Statesboro Blues

^^ Species included on the list are birds, insects, fish, reptiles, mammals, crustaceans, flowers, grasses, and trees. Endangered Species | U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service (fws.gov)

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Saw a pack of gummy worms that read “No artificial flavor”. Who buys gummy worms hoping they'd taste as close to real worms as possible. --Matt Jenkins --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: I confess that I cannot understand how we can plot, lie, cheat, and commit murder abroad and remain humane, honorable, trustworthy and trusted at home. --Archibald Cox

Video of the Week: Queen Bey: KC's Ambassador of Jazz and Blues. She will be missed.

Peace is prudent; peace is creativity in finding solutions. --WILPF

Billionaires are so eager to get to space because guillotines require gravity to operate. We were so poor we spelled poor with 5 o's.

..........My rig's a little old but that don't mean she's slow.........Taj Mahal ….Six Days On the Road

^^^ The extinct species include eight of Hawaiʻi's precious honeycreeper birds, the bridled white-eye and little Mariana fruit bat of Guam, a Texas fish, nine southeastern mussels, and the Bachman's warbler. They join the list of 650 U.S. species that have likely been lost to extinction.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: McDonald's now offers 36-month, 0% interest financing on all value meals. --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Galanthophle: a collector or lover of snowdrops (the flower). Galanthophile (worldwidewords.org)

Dragon of the Week: Dragon Hookah

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove food stains from clothes. Immediately blot up the spills on any washable fabric, sponge with Canada Dry Club Soda, then wash the item in the washer through a regular cycle. Canada Dry® Club Soda: Wacky Uses

So I asked 7 billionaires, “What's the secret to your success?” and they all said the same thing. “How did you get past security?” We were so poor that to get a family photo we loaded in the truck and ran a red light. Sure enough, a week later it came in the mail.

...........And my baby's goin' fishin' too.........Taj Mahal …..Fishin' Blues

^^^^ Ib 2023, 26 new species were added to the list. Listed Species Count by Year (fws.gov)

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My friend Megan says she really believes in me; but then, she also believes in bigfoot and the tooth fairy.l

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Metrotham 2024 (17-19, Chattanooga, TN) The Magical World … the site has a very nice video of Disney princesses … ? … HOME (metrothamcon.com)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Geological Society of America 2024 Northeastern Section Meeting (17-19, Manchester, NH) ...a broad scope of geologic topics... Home - Northeastern Section Meeting - 2024 (geosociety.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Mallet (or pallet), wallet, and ballet.

A stretched billionaire is sometimes called “elongated”. We were so poor one year for my birthday I got two batteries and a note saying “Toys Not Included”.

..........O, she rock me to my soul.........Taj Mahal …..Queen Bee

^^^^^ According to the USFWS, “The ESA has been highly effective and credited with saving 99% of listed species from extinction and to date, more than 100 species of plants and animals have been delisted based on recovery or reclassified from endangered to threatened based on improved conservation.

Conspiracy Theory of the Week: The United Nation is sending a fleet of black helicopters to bring the US under UN control. --Promoted by the John Birch Society in the 1960s.

Quote of the Week: I curled my aching fingers around fistfulls of maybe and called it hope. --Mira Hadlow

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's not rocket surgery. --Brian Bilston --Submitted by jm of ks

Today's Peace of History, May 17, 1919: The Women's International League for Peace and Freedom (WILPF) was formally established in Zurich, Switzerland.

A lot of billionaires are really just rounded up millionaires. We call them the haves and the have yachts. We were so poor that at Christmas we decorated a stump.

..........I will mend your heart again.........Taj Mahal …..Giant Step

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, May 17, 2024, pOor lIttle rIch ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Before I fight, I always pray that no one gets hurt. --Sugar Ray Leonard

Cost of War:

• As of 05/16/24 State Department Costs: $236,164,891,934.
• As of 05/09/24 State Department Costs: $235, 598,449,740.
• As of 05/16/24 Homeland Security: $1,168,230,906,486.
• As of 05/09/24 Homeland Security: $1,167,615,588,912.
• As of 05/16/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,218,736,965,981.
• As of 05/09/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,217,154,451,149.
• As of 05/16/24 Military Costs: $3,085,022,572,885.
• As of 05/09/24 Military Costs: $3,083,821,040,473.
• As of 05/16/24 Veterans Care: $3,663,600,043,634.
• As of 05/09/24 Veterans Care: $3,651,604,145,559.
• As of 05/16/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,371,756,926,330.
• As of 05/09/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,355,794,892,293.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Peace is about building trust and restoring the sense of solidarity amongst us. --WILPF

Famous Last Words: Good night. --Bob Saget America's Funniest Home Videos

..........and I love to sing the blues.........Taj Mahal …..Leavin' Trunk

Buffett's mistress titled her autobiography “Warren's Piece” We were so poor that our aunt was Ayn Rand.

May Peace enrich your hopes
And Joy diminish your fears
prairie mama
christine

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