ePistle eTouffee 24

 

Famous First Words: Hey, Mister, throw me something...

Merry Mardi Gras ! I love Mardi Gras with every bead of my heart.....Hey, does this Tuesday make me look fat?....To make the cheese more binding, it is also Extraterrestrial Culture Day.

How will we know who's an alien and who's just celebrating? / An extraterrestrial from Melbourne is an Australien.

….......I can hear music in the air.........Earl King …..Street Parade

Don't just sit there - Catch

ȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘ-Ϣ-ȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘ

My friends, it is solidarity of labor we want. We do not want to find fault with each other, but to solidify our forces and say to each other: We must be together; our masters are joined together and we must do the same thing. --Mother Jones

It is a gray Tuesday morning. The sky is evenly slate colored without texture or variation; but it is too early to know if it is a solid cloud. Morning on the prairie. Birds have already come and gone – the ones that sing “Cheta cheta cheta” and the crows that “caw” around the neighborhood. There is no wind to move the thin willow branches much less the mulberry trunks. The 33°F has moved up a couple of degrees since I sat down at my computer. I lean back and take a long swig of sweetened, creamy decaf and watch a squirrel who apparently jumped onto the tree from the neighbor's roof. It makes its way down to the fence and tightropes on the top edge until it disappears down the hill. From somewhere in the house music plays softly. I do not recognise the tune and I cannot discern the words. I roll an uncharacteristically early joint as an offering to the often mentioned “bons temps” and incense as companion aroma. Ah, it's Mardi Gras, let's have some fun.

Laissez les bons temps rouler, ePistlers

Reminder: There will be NO ePistle this Friday because I intend to still be recovering from Mardi Gras & Valentine's Day & a Super Bowl Win . Catch you again on Friday, February 23.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Warner Brothers legal department went after the then upcoming "A Night In Casablanca", concerned it might be too close to their film "Casablanca". Of the many things Groucho said in response was "Even if you plan on releasing your picture, I am sure that the average movie fan could learn in time to distinguish between Ingrid Bergman and Harpo.". I think Groucho was absolutely right.

Mardi Gras Motto: Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.....I sat down to write about all the good times we had last year at Mardi Gras, but I can't remember any of them.

The strangest thing found by the Mars Rover was a welcome mat. At least we know they're friendly.

..........From South Africa to New Orleans.........James Andrews .....Zulu King

ѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾ

Trivia Questions: Happy International Condom Day! ~~For a trifecta of Commemorative Days

• ^ How long have condoms been around? ~~Pun was a happy accident.
• ^^ Considering HIV, how much safer is sex with a condom?
• ^^^ What percent of US sexual encounters include condoms?
• ^^^^ How about those poor people who are allergic to latex?
• ^^^^^ What is the oldest condom that still exists?

Big Hello: Laissez les bons temps rouler – French Creole (Let the good times roll) – because it's Mardi Gras

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The heels of bread are to be eaten last. You eat them as punishment for not buying more bread. --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: Puck ready for Mardi Gras

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: There is no librarian version of Family Feud because when you survey 100 librarians you get 100 different answers. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

McDonald's is selling a hamburger with beads; it's the French Quarter Pounder....I like Big Beads and I cannot lie.

Is Voyager2 the basis of conspiracy theories on Neptune?

..........You know they've all got their own and they pass it all around........Glenn Frey …..Party Town

ỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘ

Moonbeam: If you can walk away from a landing, it's a good landing. If you use the airplane the next day, it's an outstanding landing. --Chuck Yeager

Question of the Week: If I try to fail, but I succeed, which have I done?

Mardi Gras Question of the Week: Why doesn't Popeye's serve Beignets on Mardi Gras?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Steve Baggish of Arlington, Mass. Name a famous classical composer in three syllables, change the vowel sounds in the first and third syllables, and phonetically, you'll name a sport. What is it?

Next Funniest Thing I Heard of the Week: Meanwhile in NYC we have potholes so deep you can wave at Satan in them. --Jimmy Fallon

Here's hoping your children never find out what you did for plastic beads.....Gumbo that doesn't turn out quite right is called meaty okra.

The aliens were using those new 5G Iprobes.

..........Have your fun in the sun.........Kermit Ruffins …..It's Later Than You Think

ӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨ

^ Condoms have been around a long, long time. The earliest known illustration of a man using a condom is a 12,000–15,000-year-old painting on the wall of a cave in France.

Almanac: It is Tuesday, February 13, 2024. The moon will go into the first quarter on Friday (16) and is in Aries. It is Galentine's Day, World Radio Day (UNESCO), Desperation Day, Employee Legal Awareness Day, Get A Different Name Day, International Condom Day, and Madly in Love With Me Day. Because it is 40 days until Easter it is Mardi Gras; which means it is also International Pancake Day, Fat Tuesday, Pancake Race Day, Paczki Day, Shrove Tuesday, and Shrovetide. Finally because it is the second Tuesday it is Extraterrestrial Culture Day and Extraterrestrial Visitor Day.

Among those born on this day were Giovanni Battista Piazzetta (1682), Thomas Malthus (1766), William Strang (1859), Bess Truman (1885), Grant Wood (1892), Tennessee Ernie Ford (1919), Chuck Yeager (1923), Dotty McGuire (1930), George Segal (1934), Carol Lynley (1942), Peter Tork (Thorkelson, Monkees, 1942), Stockard Channing (1944), Peter Gabriel (1950), and Penelope Ann Miller (1963).

On February thirteenth St. Augustine, FL was founded (1566), Tycho Brahe sketched the "Tychonic solar system" (1678), the Marquis de Sade was arrested without charge (1777), the University of Georgia opened (1st US state university, 1795), there were flour riots in New York City (1837), Strauss' Blue Danube premiered (1867), the moving picture projector was patented (1895), King Tut's tomb was opened (1924), and the Woman's Marine Corps was created (1943).

Night Sky, 2/13: By 9 pm or so, the Big Dipper stands on its handle in the northeast. In the northwest, Cassiopeia also stands on end (its brighter end) at about the same height. Between them is Polaris. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The Dukes of Kitsap County

This Week: Wednesday, February 14 – Frederick Douglass Day & International Kissing Day & St Valentine's Feast

Thursday, February 15 – Digital Learning Day & Lupercalia & Susan B Anthony Day

Friday, February 16 – Kyoto Protocol Day & National Caregivers Day

Night Sky, 2/16: First-quarter Moon tonight (exactly first-quarter at 10:01 am EST). Just lower right of the Moon, by about 2° or 3° for North America, spot the Pleiades. The Moon passes closer by the constellation over Europe. It occults some of them for southern Africa.

Saturday, February 17 - Random Acts of Kindness Day & World Human Spirit Day & World Whale Day

Sunday, February 18 – Battery Day (Volta's birthday) & Global Drink Wine Day and the Daytona 500

Night Sky, 2/18: Saturn, magnitude +1.0, is disappearing into the sunset glow.

Monday, February 19 – President's Day

Tuesday, February 20 – Love Your Pet Day & Northern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day & World Day for Social Justice

Wednesday, February 21 – National Grain Free Day & International Mother Language Day

Night Sky, 2/21: Uranus, magnitude 5.7 in Aries, remains 11° upper left of Jupiter. In a telescope at high power Uranus is a tiny but distinctly non stellar ball.

Thursday, February 22 - Bus Driver Appreciation Day & Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day & National Wildlife Day

Get drunk and flash someone at Mardi Gras and nobody bats an eye. Do it in Vatican City and everyone loses their minds.....In New Orleans it is required by law to wear a Mardi Gras mask while participating in a parade or running for local office.

You'll know the mothership when you see it; it'll be wearing an apron.

..........Golden treasures wait inside..........Big Al Carson …..King Cake

ҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨ

^^ When it comes to HIV, using a condom makes sex 10,000 times safer than not using a condom

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't care who plays in the Super Bowl; I root for the Clydesdales. --Maxine.com

Moonbeam: I'm no different from anybody else. If I don't have a card, I can't check out these books. --Bess Truman

Whatever of the Week: Since those people who hate in the name of Christianity need to be distinguished from actual Christians, I will now call them Razor-Wire Christians.

Video of the Week: Live street cameras from New Orleans. earthcam.com/usa/louisiana/neworleans/bourbonstreet/?cam=bourbonstreet

I asked a man in prison once how he happened to be there and he said he had stolen a pair of shoes. I told him if he had stolen a railroad he would be a United States Senator. --Mother Jones

Mardi Gras is also International Pancake Day, which is flippin' awesome....Comedians eat puncakes but those really thin ones crepe me out.

The Venusian Army invaded during Mardi Gras and no one noticed.

..........They have a ball and really go.........Kermit Ruffins …..Skokiaan

ФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФ

^^^ One in four acts of vaginal intercourse is condom-protected in the US. It is one in three among single people.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You are not a dumpster fire. You are a multidimensional dumpster phoenix.

Weird Word of the Week: Lagniappe – a small gift given gratuitously (A word Mark Twain associates with New Orleans). Lagniappe Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster

Dragon of the Week: Mardi Gras Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Fertilize azaleas, shrubs, and ornamental grasses. Mix one part Budweiser beer to two parts water, and pour this mixture into the soil around azaleas, shrubs, and ornamental grasses to enrich the soil. Budweiser®: Wacky Uses

Did you hear about a photographer who only takes pics of girls at Mardi Gras? Guess you can say that he’s into Flash photography.....Mardi Gras is a great time to wear glitter. You won't be mistaken for a stripper.

This whole Vegan craze was started by that ship of aliens from Vega that crashed in California.

...........Claiborne Street is a-rockin'..........Al Johnson …..Carnival Time

ҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼ

^^^^ There is no medical reason why someone can’t use a condom. Even people with latex allergies can use them — there are latex-free condoms made of polyurethane and polyisoprene.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When I was in elementary school we learned about a shape called a “rhombus” and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape, ever again. --Submitted by FNOG

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: 2024 Gallifrey One's ...Miracle on 34^th Street Home | Gallifrey One 2024

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 2024 Teaching Contemporary Mathematics Conference (23-24, Durham, NC) advanced, engaging, and effective approaches to mathematics education. TCM Conference (ncssm.edu)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Pachelbel → Pickleball

I understand Berkshire Hathaway is making special Mardi Gras underwear. The brand name is Fruit of Doubloon.....My grandmother has stopped going to Mardi Gras. She just sighs and says, “Beignet and donut”.

I saw a flying saucer land and when the door opened a creature in a spacesuit got out. I shouted, “Welcome, where are you from?” The creature looked at me and said, “How do you know how to speak Uranese?”

..........If you wanna go through New Orleans........Professor Longhair …..Go To The Mardi Gras

₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲

^^^^^ The oldest condom is a reusable condom that dates back to 1640 and is completely intact, as is its original users' manual, written in Latin. The manual suggests that users immerse the condom in warm milk prior to its use to avoid diseases.

Discussion Topic of the Week: What, if anything, are you giving up for lent and why?

Quote of the Week: Mardi Gras is a state of mind. --Ed Muniz

Shameless Self Promotion of the Week: Zine Release & Reflection – Remembering KU's February Sisters, Imaging KU's Feminist Future: Monday, March 18, 2024, 6 pm, Spencer Research Library, KU More Information

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I finally got a date for Valentine's Day. It's a court date, but I get to dress up. --Submitted by PsyDe

Today's Peace of History, February 13, 1912: Labor leader Mary Harris “mother” Jones was placed under house arrest at Pratt , WV for inciting a riot.

Why did that chicken in the Mardi Gras mask cross the road? To get to the other parade.....Gumbo that doesn't come out just right is called Meaty Okra.

Earth will never be a tourist attraction for aliens; we only have one star.

..........Look at my king all dressed in red.........Dixie Cups …..Iko Iko

ΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘ

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, February 13, 2024, ePistle eTouffee 24. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Unfortunately, many people do not consider fun an important item on their daily agenda. --Chuck Yeager

Cost of War:

• As of 02/12/24 State Department Costs: $228,700,856,173.
• As of 02/08/24 State Department Costs: $228,379,078,693.
• As of 02/12/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,197,888,696,157.
• As of 02/08/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,196,989,976,843.
• As of 02/12/24 Homeland Security: $1,160,123,425,669.
• As of 02/08/24 Homeland Security: $1,159,773,953,104.
• As of 02/12/24 Veterans Care: $3,505,566,123,936.
• As of 02/08/24 Veterans Care: $3,498,773,827,508
• As of 02/12/24 Military Costs: $3,069,193,583,195.
• As of 02/08/24 Military Costs: $3,068,511,309,734.
• As of 02/12/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,161,474,735,264.
• As of 02/08/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,152,411,,263,319.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

You ought to be out raising hell. This is the fighting age. Put on your fighting clothes. --Mother Jones.

Famous Last Words: Treu und Einigkeit sollten zu jeglicher Zeit! --Johann Strauss Blue Danube Loyalty and unity is to protect us all the time

..........Now go on with your bad self.........Brenton Wood …..The Oogum Boogum Song

Kalobo didn't have to abduct humans, she just put a free beer sign on her spaceship.

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's Tuesday......Mardi Gras is over, get your ash to church.

May Peace guard your borders
And Joy keep your gates
prairie mama
christine

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