sWeaty ePistle

 

Famous First Words: Between the people of the United State and the Republic of Cuba... Lease of Guantonamo by the USA.

It's National Sauna Week! Hey, it's a stressful world, if you can't stand the heat stay out of the sauna. / Face it, the sauna is the only appropriate place to let off steam.

..........So baby, what's the story..........Aerosmith with Brad Whitford .....What It Takes

Either America will destroy ignorance or ignorance will destroy the United States. --W E B Du Bois

It is a bright, beautiful, 40°F Friday morning. The sky is pale blue with neither clouds nor jet streams. Birds are up early greeting the day with song or discussion agendas over breakfast. Ducks are on the move leaving a wake of quacking noise behind as the fly west; but I don't think it can be used to predict the weather. I take a long swig of doctored decaf and search through my backyard window for the source of high pitched chirping but I see no movement except the wispy willow branches moving in the light wind. Last night's incense left a hint of jasmine in the air. The only thing missing is a morning sauna where we all tell each other our dreams. Ah, the old hippie days...

Hope your weekend is too hot to handle, ePistlers, in a good way.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: So many village idiots. So few dragons. --Submitted by FTLOD (For the Love of Dragons)

The sauna was so hot that I broke wind just for a little breeze. / Saunas are so relaxing I call mine sweat escape.

..........Got to get back to the real nitty gritty..........Aerosmith with Brad Whitford .....Last Child

Trivia Questions: Happy Skip The Straw Day

• ^ How old is the drinking straw?
• ^^ The stalks of what kind of grain became popular as drinking straws in the 1800s?
• ^^^ When were paper straws first introduced?
• ^^^^ What, exactly, is the problem with plastic straws?
• ^^^^^ How many plastic drinking straws are used in the US annually?

Big Hello: Moghrey mie – Manx (Gaelic, Isle of Man) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Schrodinger's Jerk: A guy who says offensive things and decides whether he was joking based upon the reaction of people around him. --Submitted by FNOG

Image of the Week: February 23 is Curling Is Cool Day

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Only 2% of librarians are surprised when they're informed about a conspiracy theory they didn't know existed. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

The sauna is so powerful we installed a ceiling fan. / A sauna is like a mini vacation only a lot hotter.

..........Run away, run away from the pain, yeah yeah..........Aerosmith with Brad Whitford .....Janies Got a Gun

Moonbeam: To decide to become a philosopher seemed as foolish to me as to decide to become a poet. --Karl Jaspers

Best Protest Sign of the Week: Make the NRA get a background check BEFORE they buy a Senator. ~~From the Moms Demand Action Gun Control Vigil in Kansas City 2/15/24 Runner up signs were Arms are for Hugging and Protect Kids Not Guns

Blasphemy of the Week: If prayer worked, they wouldn't allow it in casinos.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Grandma was a union woman; she began all her stories with Once upon a time and a half...

The sauna is so hot Optimus Prime turned into an air conditioner. / I once challenged a sauna to a game of Scrabble. Ironically she couldn't handle heated competition.

..........It ain't easy living like a gypsy..........Aerosmith with Brad Whitford .....Mama Kin

^ The oldest drinking straw was discovered in a Sumerian tomb from roughly 3,000 B.C. It was made of gold and the precious stone, lapis lazuli.

Almanac: It is Friday, February 23, 2024. The moon will be full (Snow) tomorrow (2/23) and is in Leo. It is Curling is Cool Day, Digital Learning Day, Diesel Engine Day, Iwo Jima Day (flag raised), National Dog Biscuit Day, National Tile Day, and Single Tasking Day. Because it is the fourth Friday it is also Skip The Straw Day.

Among those born on this day were Pietro Barbo (Pope Paul II, 1417), Samuel Pepys (1633), John Blow (1649), George Frideric Handel (1685), Mayer Amschel Rothschild (1734), Emma Willard (1787), Istvan Ferenczi (1792), William E B Du Bois (1868), Karl Jasper (1883), William L Shirer (1904), Margaret Farrer (1914), Tom Wesselman (1931), Peter Fonda (1940), Johnny Winter (1944), Brad Whitford (Aerosmith, 1952), and Too Tall Jones (1951).

On February twenty-third the Humane Society of Massachusetts was incorporated (1792), Haydn's 94th Symphony in G premiered (1792), William III was proclaimed king of England (1689), the College of Apothecaries was organized as the US's first pharmacy school (1821), Boston incorporated (1822), Texas seceded (1861), Mississippi was readmitted to the union (1870), Alabama became the first state to enact antitrust laws (1883), the first college student government was established (Bryn Mawr, 1892), Cuba leased Guantanamo to the USA (1903), the US acquired control of the Panama Canal Zone ($10 million, 1904), the first transcontinental air mail arrived in NYC (from San Francisco, 1921), Disney's Pinocchio was released (1940), the Salk vaccine was first used on a mass scale (Pittsburgh, 1954), demolition began on Ebbets Field (opened 1913, 1960), Charlies Finley signed a 4 year lease to keep the A's in KC (1964), the 25th amendment was ratified (presidential succession, 1967), Wilt Chamberlain became the first NBAer to score 25,000 points (1968), the Holy Eucharist was first given by women (1970), and Dire Straits began their first US tour (1979).

Night Sky, 2/23: Full Moon tonight (exactly full at 7:30 am Saturday morning EST). At sunset the Moon is already rising in the east. By nightfall you'll see that the Moon is almost straight between Regulus 3° to its right and lesser Gamma Leonis 5° to the Moon's left. Binoculars will help you spot them through the moonlight, especially if there's any haze in the sky. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The Kings of the Mountain playing King of the Stump

This Week: Saturday, February 24 – International Sword Swallowers Day & National Dance Day & Open That Bottle Night

Sunday, February 25 – Hockey Day & Rubber Ducky Day

Night Sky, 2/25: It's not spring for another month, but the Spring Star Arcturus seems eager to thrust itself into view. It rises above the east-northeast horizon soon after dusk now, depending on your latitude. To see where to watch for this, find the Big Dipper as soon as the stars come out; it's high in the northeast. Follow the curve of its handle down and around to the lower right by a little more than a Dipper-length. That's the spot on the horizon to watch. By 10 or 11 p.m. Arcturus dominates the eastern sky.

Monday, February 26 – Carpe Deim Day & Museum Advocacy Day & National Cupcake Day & Play More Cards Day

Tuesday, February 27 – International Polar Bear Day & National Kahlua Day

Wednesday, February 28 – National Tooth Fairy Day & Pink Shirt Day & Inconvenience Yourself Day

Night Sky, 2/28: Venus, magnitude –3.9, rises in the southeast as dawn gets under way. It's still hanging low there when dawn grows too bright for it. Mars, magnitude +1.3, remains deep in the sunrise.

Thursday, February 29 – Leap Day & International Toast Day & National Chili Day

Why isn't Leap Day also World Frog Day?

The sauna is so hot a family of macaws have moved in. / There's a sauna out in LA that has become a life coach. He calls himself heatotherapist.

..........Can't say I'll be back soon..........Aerosmith with Brad Whitford .....Seasons of Wither

^^ The ryegrass straw became popular in the 1800s because it was cheap and soft.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Witches aren't superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of. --Stirring the Cauldron

Moonbeam: I know not how to abstain from reading. --Samuel Pepys

Unfortunate Modern Necessity of the Week: This is the Mass Shooting Tracker. Mass Shooting Tracker There had been 68 so far in 2024 (as of 2/22/24). It consists of Date / City / # Dead / # Injured / Name(s) of victims / references to news stories

Video of the Week: Peter Fonda tripping in a cemetery in Easy Rider (2:36) Bing Videos

We must complain. Yes, plain, blunt complaint, ceaseless agitation, unfailing exposure of dishonesty and wrong – this is the ancient, unerring way to liberty and we must follow it. --W E B Du Bois

The sauna was so powerful the termites carried fire extinguishers. / The sauna refused to participate at Woodstock because he couldn't find his sweat band.

..........I could spend my life in this sweet surrender..........Aerosmith with Brad Whitford .....I Don't Want to Miss a Thing

^^^ The paper straw was introduced in 1888 by Marvin C. Stone, who received the patent for it.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The role of the artist is to make the revolution irresistible.

Weird Word of the Week: Mickle – much --from Shakespeare Mickle Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster

Dragon of the Week: Dragon Fruit

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Decorate windows with artificial snow. Rather than decorating a window with aerosol snow, mix stale Budweiser beer with Epsom Salt until the beer cannot hold any more. Apply the mixture to the glass with a sponge. When it dries, the window will be frosted. Budweiser®: Wacky Uses

The sauna was so hot that even Voldemort' s heart melted. / As saunas go, this is “sëlfsauna-ification”.

...........Come easy, go easy, alright..........Aerosmith with Brad Whitford .....Back in the Saddle

^^^^ Plastic straws are made with a variety of potentially toxic chemicals known as hazardous air pollutants (HAPs). They are not biodegradable. Straws and coffee stirrers are the 7^th most plastic products found in clean up campaigns. Paper straws biodegrade but also have PFAs (Perfluorooctanoic Acid) known as forever chemicals. But the world has begun to manufacture biodegradable paper straws)

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If Poe heard the Raven tap tap tapping at this window today, it would just be the Raven playing Candy Crush on his Android.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Con Nooga (23-25, Chattanooga, TN) It's Your Con... Con Nooga, ComicCon, Comic Con

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 6^th International Conference on BioMedical Technology (23=25. Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam) Fantastic platform for researchers... ICBMT2024|BioMedical Technology 

Memorable Movie Line of the Week: I have zero interest in dying. --Richard Stanton (Viggo Mortensen) Thirteen Lives

The sauna was so hot I took off my skin and sat around in my bones. / The sauna lets you melt your stress away.

..........Singing, hey diddle diddle..........Aerosmith with Brad Whitford .....Walk This Way

^^^^^ In the US it is estimated that between 170 to 490 million disposable plastic straws are used each day, which translates to approximately 63 to 142 billion straws per year.

Last Minute Joke I Wrote of the Week: Kansas is such a red state, they use it in Sauna commercials.

Quote of the Week: The most important decision you make is to be in a good mood. --Voltaire

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Men will make fun of women who like astrology while managing a fake football team. -Toni --Submitted by 98%

Today's Peace of History, February 23, 2016: 2 peace activists with Voices for Creative Nonviolence, Brian Terrell and Kathy Kelly, were arrested when they attempted to deliver a loaf of bread and a letter to drone operators at Volk Field, an Air National Guard Base in Wisconsin, which trains pilots to operate Shadow Drones over other countries. http://warisacrime.org/content/activists-arrested-entering-drone-base-loaf-bread

The sauna was so powerful it inspired a book called 50 Shades of Red. / When Chuck Norris goes into the sauna, the sauna starts to sweat.

..........Said my get-up-and-go must've got up and went..........Aerosmith with Brad Whitford .....Sweet Emotion

Observation of the Week: It's amazing how many sauna jokes are really about hot tubs or steam rooms.

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, February 23, 2024, sWeaty ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. --Emma Willard

Cost of War:

• As of 02/22/24 State Department Costs: $229,481,778,768.
• As of 02/12/24 State Department Costs: $228,700,856,173.
• As of 02/22/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,200,070,188,248.
• As of 02/12/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,197,888,696,157.
• As of 02/22/24 Homeland Security: $1,160,971,771,481.
• As of 02/12/24 Homeland Security: $1,160,123,425,669.
• As of 02/22/24 Veterans Care: $3,522,098,373,137.
• As of 02/12/24 Veterans Care: $3,505,566,123,936.
• As of 02/22/24 Military Costs: $3,070,849,500,802.
• As of 02/12/24 Military Costs: $3,069,193,583,195.
• As of 02/22/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,183,475,099,801.
• As of 02/12/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,161,474,735,264.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

I am especially glad of the divine gift of laughter: it has made the world human and lovable, despite all its pain and wrong. --W E B Du Bois

Famous Last Words: I think it's swell --Jiminy Cricket Disney's Pinocchio

..........You got to lose to know how to win..........Aerosmith with Brad Whitford .....Dream On ~~These are the top 10 favorite Aerosmith songs in order – according to some poll – with Dream On being #1

The sauna is so hot I bake bread while I'm bathing. / I'm starting a popcorn business. I'm going to pop it in the sauna and call it Easy Corn.

May Peace cleanse your spirit
And Joy clear your heart
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh:

ePistle eTouffee 24

 

Famous First Words: Hey, Mister, throw me something...

Merry Mardi Gras ! I love Mardi Gras with every bead of my heart.....Hey, does this Tuesday make me look fat?....To make the cheese more binding, it is also Extraterrestrial Culture Day.

How will we know who's an alien and who's just celebrating? / An extraterrestrial from Melbourne is an Australien.

….......I can hear music in the air.........Earl King …..Street Parade

Don't just sit there - Catch

ȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘ-Ϣ-ȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘȘ

My friends, it is solidarity of labor we want. We do not want to find fault with each other, but to solidify our forces and say to each other: We must be together; our masters are joined together and we must do the same thing. --Mother Jones

It is a gray Tuesday morning. The sky is evenly slate colored without texture or variation; but it is too early to know if it is a solid cloud. Morning on the prairie. Birds have already come and gone – the ones that sing “Cheta cheta cheta” and the crows that “caw” around the neighborhood. There is no wind to move the thin willow branches much less the mulberry trunks. The 33°F has moved up a couple of degrees since I sat down at my computer. I lean back and take a long swig of sweetened, creamy decaf and watch a squirrel who apparently jumped onto the tree from the neighbor's roof. It makes its way down to the fence and tightropes on the top edge until it disappears down the hill. From somewhere in the house music plays softly. I do not recognise the tune and I cannot discern the words. I roll an uncharacteristically early joint as an offering to the often mentioned “bons temps” and incense as companion aroma. Ah, it's Mardi Gras, let's have some fun.

Laissez les bons temps rouler, ePistlers

Reminder: There will be NO ePistle this Friday because I intend to still be recovering from Mardi Gras & Valentine's Day & a Super Bowl Win . Catch you again on Friday, February 23.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Warner Brothers legal department went after the then upcoming "A Night In Casablanca", concerned it might be too close to their film "Casablanca". Of the many things Groucho said in response was "Even if you plan on releasing your picture, I am sure that the average movie fan could learn in time to distinguish between Ingrid Bergman and Harpo.". I think Groucho was absolutely right.

Mardi Gras Motto: Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.....I sat down to write about all the good times we had last year at Mardi Gras, but I can't remember any of them.

The strangest thing found by the Mars Rover was a welcome mat. At least we know they're friendly.

..........From South Africa to New Orleans.........James Andrews .....Zulu King

ѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾѾ

Trivia Questions: Happy International Condom Day! ~~For a trifecta of Commemorative Days

• ^ How long have condoms been around? ~~Pun was a happy accident.
• ^^ Considering HIV, how much safer is sex with a condom?
• ^^^ What percent of US sexual encounters include condoms?
• ^^^^ How about those poor people who are allergic to latex?
• ^^^^^ What is the oldest condom that still exists?

Big Hello: Laissez les bons temps rouler – French Creole (Let the good times roll) – because it's Mardi Gras

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The heels of bread are to be eaten last. You eat them as punishment for not buying more bread. --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: Puck ready for Mardi Gras

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: There is no librarian version of Family Feud because when you survey 100 librarians you get 100 different answers. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

McDonald's is selling a hamburger with beads; it's the French Quarter Pounder....I like Big Beads and I cannot lie.

Is Voyager2 the basis of conspiracy theories on Neptune?

..........You know they've all got their own and they pass it all around........Glenn Frey …..Party Town

ỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘỘ

Moonbeam: If you can walk away from a landing, it's a good landing. If you use the airplane the next day, it's an outstanding landing. --Chuck Yeager

Question of the Week: If I try to fail, but I succeed, which have I done?

Mardi Gras Question of the Week: Why doesn't Popeye's serve Beignets on Mardi Gras?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Steve Baggish of Arlington, Mass. Name a famous classical composer in three syllables, change the vowel sounds in the first and third syllables, and phonetically, you'll name a sport. What is it?

Next Funniest Thing I Heard of the Week: Meanwhile in NYC we have potholes so deep you can wave at Satan in them. --Jimmy Fallon

Here's hoping your children never find out what you did for plastic beads.....Gumbo that doesn't turn out quite right is called meaty okra.

The aliens were using those new 5G Iprobes.

..........Have your fun in the sun.........Kermit Ruffins …..It's Later Than You Think

ӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨӨ

^ Condoms have been around a long, long time. The earliest known illustration of a man using a condom is a 12,000–15,000-year-old painting on the wall of a cave in France.

Almanac: It is Tuesday, February 13, 2024. The moon will go into the first quarter on Friday (16) and is in Aries. It is Galentine's Day, World Radio Day (UNESCO), Desperation Day, Employee Legal Awareness Day, Get A Different Name Day, International Condom Day, and Madly in Love With Me Day. Because it is 40 days until Easter it is Mardi Gras; which means it is also International Pancake Day, Fat Tuesday, Pancake Race Day, Paczki Day, Shrove Tuesday, and Shrovetide. Finally because it is the second Tuesday it is Extraterrestrial Culture Day and Extraterrestrial Visitor Day.

Among those born on this day were Giovanni Battista Piazzetta (1682), Thomas Malthus (1766), William Strang (1859), Bess Truman (1885), Grant Wood (1892), Tennessee Ernie Ford (1919), Chuck Yeager (1923), Dotty McGuire (1930), George Segal (1934), Carol Lynley (1942), Peter Tork (Thorkelson, Monkees, 1942), Stockard Channing (1944), Peter Gabriel (1950), and Penelope Ann Miller (1963).

On February thirteenth St. Augustine, FL was founded (1566), Tycho Brahe sketched the "Tychonic solar system" (1678), the Marquis de Sade was arrested without charge (1777), the University of Georgia opened (1st US state university, 1795), there were flour riots in New York City (1837), Strauss' Blue Danube premiered (1867), the moving picture projector was patented (1895), King Tut's tomb was opened (1924), and the Woman's Marine Corps was created (1943).

Night Sky, 2/13: By 9 pm or so, the Big Dipper stands on its handle in the northeast. In the northwest, Cassiopeia also stands on end (its brighter end) at about the same height. Between them is Polaris. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The Dukes of Kitsap County

This Week: Wednesday, February 14 – Frederick Douglass Day & International Kissing Day & St Valentine's Feast

Thursday, February 15 – Digital Learning Day & Lupercalia & Susan B Anthony Day

Friday, February 16 – Kyoto Protocol Day & National Caregivers Day

Night Sky, 2/16: First-quarter Moon tonight (exactly first-quarter at 10:01 am EST). Just lower right of the Moon, by about 2° or 3° for North America, spot the Pleiades. The Moon passes closer by the constellation over Europe. It occults some of them for southern Africa.

Saturday, February 17 - Random Acts of Kindness Day & World Human Spirit Day & World Whale Day

Sunday, February 18 – Battery Day (Volta's birthday) & Global Drink Wine Day and the Daytona 500

Night Sky, 2/18: Saturn, magnitude +1.0, is disappearing into the sunset glow.

Monday, February 19 – President's Day

Tuesday, February 20 – Love Your Pet Day & Northern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day & World Day for Social Justice

Wednesday, February 21 – National Grain Free Day & International Mother Language Day

Night Sky, 2/21: Uranus, magnitude 5.7 in Aries, remains 11° upper left of Jupiter. In a telescope at high power Uranus is a tiny but distinctly non stellar ball.

Thursday, February 22 - Bus Driver Appreciation Day & Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day & National Wildlife Day

Get drunk and flash someone at Mardi Gras and nobody bats an eye. Do it in Vatican City and everyone loses their minds.....In New Orleans it is required by law to wear a Mardi Gras mask while participating in a parade or running for local office.

You'll know the mothership when you see it; it'll be wearing an apron.

..........Golden treasures wait inside..........Big Al Carson …..King Cake

ҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨҨ

^^ When it comes to HIV, using a condom makes sex 10,000 times safer than not using a condom

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't care who plays in the Super Bowl; I root for the Clydesdales. --Maxine.com

Moonbeam: I'm no different from anybody else. If I don't have a card, I can't check out these books. --Bess Truman

Whatever of the Week: Since those people who hate in the name of Christianity need to be distinguished from actual Christians, I will now call them Razor-Wire Christians.

Video of the Week: Live street cameras from New Orleans. earthcam.com/usa/louisiana/neworleans/bourbonstreet/?cam=bourbonstreet

I asked a man in prison once how he happened to be there and he said he had stolen a pair of shoes. I told him if he had stolen a railroad he would be a United States Senator. --Mother Jones

Mardi Gras is also International Pancake Day, which is flippin' awesome....Comedians eat puncakes but those really thin ones crepe me out.

The Venusian Army invaded during Mardi Gras and no one noticed.

..........They have a ball and really go.........Kermit Ruffins …..Skokiaan

ФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФ

^^^ One in four acts of vaginal intercourse is condom-protected in the US. It is one in three among single people.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You are not a dumpster fire. You are a multidimensional dumpster phoenix.

Weird Word of the Week: Lagniappe – a small gift given gratuitously (A word Mark Twain associates with New Orleans). Lagniappe Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster

Dragon of the Week: Mardi Gras Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Fertilize azaleas, shrubs, and ornamental grasses. Mix one part Budweiser beer to two parts water, and pour this mixture into the soil around azaleas, shrubs, and ornamental grasses to enrich the soil. Budweiser®: Wacky Uses

Did you hear about a photographer who only takes pics of girls at Mardi Gras? Guess you can say that he’s into Flash photography.....Mardi Gras is a great time to wear glitter. You won't be mistaken for a stripper.

This whole Vegan craze was started by that ship of aliens from Vega that crashed in California.

...........Claiborne Street is a-rockin'..........Al Johnson …..Carnival Time

ҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼҼ

^^^^ There is no medical reason why someone can’t use a condom. Even people with latex allergies can use them — there are latex-free condoms made of polyurethane and polyisoprene.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When I was in elementary school we learned about a shape called a “rhombus” and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape, ever again. --Submitted by FNOG

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: 2024 Gallifrey One's ...Miracle on 34^th Street Home | Gallifrey One 2024

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 2024 Teaching Contemporary Mathematics Conference (23-24, Durham, NC) advanced, engaging, and effective approaches to mathematics education. TCM Conference (ncssm.edu)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Pachelbel → Pickleball

I understand Berkshire Hathaway is making special Mardi Gras underwear. The brand name is Fruit of Doubloon.....My grandmother has stopped going to Mardi Gras. She just sighs and says, “Beignet and donut”.

I saw a flying saucer land and when the door opened a creature in a spacesuit got out. I shouted, “Welcome, where are you from?” The creature looked at me and said, “How do you know how to speak Uranese?”

..........If you wanna go through New Orleans........Professor Longhair …..Go To The Mardi Gras

₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲₲

^^^^^ The oldest condom is a reusable condom that dates back to 1640 and is completely intact, as is its original users' manual, written in Latin. The manual suggests that users immerse the condom in warm milk prior to its use to avoid diseases.

Discussion Topic of the Week: What, if anything, are you giving up for lent and why?

Quote of the Week: Mardi Gras is a state of mind. --Ed Muniz

Shameless Self Promotion of the Week: Zine Release & Reflection – Remembering KU's February Sisters, Imaging KU's Feminist Future: Monday, March 18, 2024, 6 pm, Spencer Research Library, KU More Information

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I finally got a date for Valentine's Day. It's a court date, but I get to dress up. --Submitted by PsyDe

Today's Peace of History, February 13, 1912: Labor leader Mary Harris “mother” Jones was placed under house arrest at Pratt , WV for inciting a riot.

Why did that chicken in the Mardi Gras mask cross the road? To get to the other parade.....Gumbo that doesn't come out just right is called Meaty Okra.

Earth will never be a tourist attraction for aliens; we only have one star.

..........Look at my king all dressed in red.........Dixie Cups …..Iko Iko

ΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘΘ

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, February 13, 2024, ePistle eTouffee 24. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Unfortunately, many people do not consider fun an important item on their daily agenda. --Chuck Yeager

Cost of War:

• As of 02/12/24 State Department Costs: $228,700,856,173.
• As of 02/08/24 State Department Costs: $228,379,078,693.
• As of 02/12/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,197,888,696,157.
• As of 02/08/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,196,989,976,843.
• As of 02/12/24 Homeland Security: $1,160,123,425,669.
• As of 02/08/24 Homeland Security: $1,159,773,953,104.
• As of 02/12/24 Veterans Care: $3,505,566,123,936.
• As of 02/08/24 Veterans Care: $3,498,773,827,508
• As of 02/12/24 Military Costs: $3,069,193,583,195.
• As of 02/08/24 Military Costs: $3,068,511,309,734.
• As of 02/12/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,161,474,735,264.
• As of 02/08/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,152,411,,263,319.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

You ought to be out raising hell. This is the fighting age. Put on your fighting clothes. --Mother Jones.

Famous Last Words: Treu und Einigkeit sollten zu jeglicher Zeit! --Johann Strauss Blue Danube Loyalty and unity is to protect us all the time

..........Now go on with your bad self.........Brenton Wood …..The Oogum Boogum Song

Kalobo didn't have to abduct humans, she just put a free beer sign on her spaceship.

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's Tuesday......Mardi Gras is over, get your ash to church.

May Peace guard your borders
And Joy keep your gates
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh:

pEpperoni ePistle

 Famous First Words: We, the people, grateful to almighty God... Constitution of the State of Nebraska

Very Happy National Pizza Day! I'm going to open a restaurant that serves only seafood pizza. I'm gonna call it The Crust Station.

Life is a series of relapses and recoveries. --George Ade

..........Have you ever been blue.........Ernest Tubb …..Have You Ever Been Lonely

The only legitimate right to govern is an express grant of power from the governed. --William Henry Harrison

Very early this morning before it was light enough to tell if the sky was cloudy or clear, the sun rising behind our house lit up the willow tree. It glowed yellow and held itself very still in the calm winds. Nothing else was lit. No clouds were visible above it. No birds sat on its branches to bask in the light. Now clouds cover nearly all the pale blue and there is no glow of any hue. A flash of glory that passed into another day. I love living in this world with these elements sweeping across vast plains and rolling hills. Hope it is this beautiful where you are.

Hope your weekend is Supreme with extra cheese, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You can basically violate any culture's cuisine by putting ketchup on it. --Submitted by FNOG

I get frustrated by people who can't decide what they want on their pizza. They're so indeslicive.

When uplifting, get underneath. --George Ade

..........You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face.........Carole King …..Beautiful

Trivia Questions: Nebraska turns 157 years old today.

• ^ How many times was Nebraska bombed by “friendly fire” during WWII?
• ^^ What Nebraska city is home to the International Quilt Museum?
• ^^^What is the average number of Nebraska tornadoes per year?
• ^^^^ Nebraska is known for the sandhill crane migration; how many cranes participate?
• ^^^^^ What environmentally friendly holiday originated in Nebraska?

Big Hello: Jeeka, ma tzuula – Mam (Mexico & Guatemala) ttps://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Not So Funny Thing I Read of the Week: Liberation is spoken of 45 times in the New Testament. But it's missed because it is translated “salvation” to change the focus to the afterlife instead of life on earth. --Submitted by Anti-Capitalist Education

Image of the Week:

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 34% of disagreements between tech services and public services are decided by a dance off. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Roses are red, Pizza Sauce is too. I ordered a large, and none of it's for you.

Every man is the architect of his own fortunes, but the neighbors superintend the construction. --George Ade

..........To brighten up even your darkest night.........Carole King …..You've Got A Friend

Moonbeam: When you came, you were like red wine and honey, and the taste of you burnt my mouth with its sweetness. --Amy Lowell

Question of the Week: What is the worst job you've ever had?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Laura Kozma, of South River, N.J. Think of a brand name in seven letters that you might find in a pharmacy. Drop the last letter and rearrange the letters that remain. You'll get another brand name, in six letters, that you might also find in a pharmacy. What is it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 2/4/24

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Beer, because you can't drink bacon. --Submitted by bc of tx

And please, don't slice the pizza. The doctor says I'm only allowed one piece.

When wealth walks in at the door, the press agent comes in through the window. --George Ade

..........There's so many dreams I've yet to find.........Carole King …..So Far Away

^ The little town of Tarnov was bombed on August 19, 1943 - but no one was injured. The bombs were practice bombs probably dropped by B-17s from the Sioux City Army Air Field. The pilots had mistaken the town's lights for the lights that adorned a nearby bombing range. A similar story unfolded in nearby Dickens around the same time, with ten practice bombs landing in and around the little town.

Almanac: It is Friday, February 9, 2024. The moon is new today and is in Aquarius. It is National Stop Bullying Day, National Pizza Day, Read in the Bathtub Day, and Toothache Day.

Among those born on this day were Ali Sjir Neva'i (1441), William Henry Harrison (1773), Samuel J. Tilden (1814), George Ade (1866), Amy Lowell (1874), Alban Maria Johannes Berg (1885), Brain Donlevy (1901), Dean Rusk (1909), Carmen Miranda (Maria do Carmo Mirandad Da Cunha, 1909), Ernest Tubb (1914), Brendan Behan (1923), Roger Mudd (1928), Carole King (Klein, 1942), Alice Walker (1944), Gary Franks (1953), Andrew Meltzoff (1950),

On February ninth Russia and Poland signed a peace treaty (Treat of Andrussovo, 1667), the American Indian Society was organized (1822), Tennessee voted against sucession (1861), Nebraska became the 37th state (1867), Falstaff premiered (1893), volleyball was invented (1895), War Daylight Savings Time went into effect (1942), Ralph Ellison’s novel “Invisible Man” won the National Book Award (1952), trade unions merged into the ALF/CIO (1955), GI Joe character was created (1964), Martin Luther King met with President Johnson to discuss black voting rights (1965), Satchel Paige became the first negro league player elected to the baseball Hall of Fame (1971), Astronaut Bernard Harris became the first black man to walk in space (1995), and the Salt Lake City Olympics opened (2002).

Night Sky, 2/9: After it’s good and dark, look due east, not very high, for twinkly Regulus. Extending upper left from it is the Sickle of Leo, a backward question mark. It's about as long as a fist and a half at arm's length. "Leo announces spring," goes an old saying. Actually, Leo showing up in the evening announces the cold, wet, sloppy back half of winter. Come spring, Leo will already be high. New Moon (exact at 6:59 p.m. EST). http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Valentine Art

This Week: Saturday, February 10 – Chinese New Year (Year of the Dragon) & Global Movie Day & Umbrella Day

Sunday, February 11 – Super Bowl LVIII & Popcorn Day & Man Day

Night Sky, 2/11 : Binocular observers often check in on the 5th-magnitude open cluster M41 just 4° south of Sirius. But how many then look the other way from Sirius for 6th-magnitude M50? It's 10° north-northeast from Sirius, dimmer, smaller and more subtle than M41. Find it by sweeping first to Omicron Canis Majoris, the 4th-magnitude pointy nose of the Big Dog's stick figure, then on again nearly as far in the same direction. It's not exactly easy, but it's there. M50 really is the smaller and fainter of the two. Both clusters are at nearly the same distances from us: 2,500 light-years for M41 and 2,900 for M50.

Monday, February 12 – Shrove Monday & Darwin Day & Paul Bunyan Day

Happy has five letters. Pizza has five letters. This is no coincidence.

The serpent is helpless unless he finds an apple to work with. --George Ade

..........And when my soul was in the lost-and-found.........Carole King …..A Natural Woman

^^ The Largest Publicly Held Quilt Collection is kept in the International Quilt Study Center & Museum in Lincoln.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Say what you will about animal intelligence but at least if you leave birds alone for a few thousands years they don't invent subprime mortgages, --Dan Sheehan --Submitted by IIWSPIBH

Moonbeam: It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. --Brendan Behan

Black History Factoid the Week: In 1999, James Todd Smith, better known as LL Cool J, became the first black man in horror movie history to survive the whole movie. --Submitted by FLHamer's America

Video of the Week: Satchel Paige pitching (:24)

The liberties of a people depend on their own constant attention to its preservation. --Wiliam Henry Harrison

Pizza is always an answer. What was the question?

A lot of smart young people have come out of Indiana. The smarter they are, the faster they get out. --George Ade

..........It was a very good year for the undertaker.........Carole King …..Smackwater Jack

^^^ Nebraska sees an average of 39 tornadoes each year.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Dildo of Consequences rarely arrives lubed. --Buddha --Submitted by IIWSPIBH

Blasphemy of the Week: Fun Fact: Jesus' step dad was commanded by an angel of the Lord to cross a border illegally to save Jesus from violence. --Submitted by MMS

Weird Word of the Week: Erinaceous: Of or relating to hedgehogs. ERINACEOUS definition and meaning | Collins English Dictionary (collinsdictionary.com)

Dragon of the Week: Dragon table

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Marinade meats. Marinating inexpensive cuts of meat in beer for approximately an hour before cooking increases the flavor and tenderness. Budweiser®: Wacky Uses

Keep Calm and Eat Pizza.

The wealthy have nothing left except money. --George Ade

...........You were light and breezy and I knew just what to do.........Carole King …..It's Too Late

^^^^ Every March, roughly one million sandhill cranes land in Nebraska for a closer look at things—and flocks of humans swoop in to witness the awesomeness.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Allow me to point out something that is painfully obvious to anyone with a middle school education: if powerful women like Taylor Swift trigger you, you definitely couldn't handle a civil war. --Stephen Colbert

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: ConVoluted Con Cruise 2024 (10-15, departing from Tampa, FL) Paradise with Comics ConVoluted Con Cruise 2024 Information | SciFiCons.com

Actual Science Conference of the Week: AI Summit West (13-14, Santa Clara, CA) Discover advances in deep learning. Home | AI Summit West 2024 | RE•WORK (re-work.co)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Clairol → Ricola

Should we call a sleeping pie pizzzzzzzzzzzza?

After being turned down by numerous publishers, he had decided to write for posterity. --George Ade

..........Bye-bye lullay lully.........Carole King …..King Without A Mountain

^^^^^ Because Nebraska was nearly treeless, the people and the government created Arbor Day and encouraged the planting of trees and shrubs. The Nebraska National Forest is a human-made forest of 141,864 acres (222 sqare miles) all hand planted.

Discussion Topic of the Week: There was only one spell in all of Harry Potter that I would like to real -accio – It is a summoning charm. Accio Coffee! Accio Keys!! Accio World Peace!!!!

Quote of the Week: All history is current; all injustice continues on some level, somewhere in the world. --Alice Walker

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Been there. Done that. Zero regrets. --NakedPastor

Today's Peace of History: February 9, 2002: 10,000, organized by Gush Shalom (the peace bloc in Hebrew), a coalition of Israeli peace groups, marched in Tel Aviv against the Ariel Sharon government's increasingly brutal attacks on Palestinian civilians during the continuing occupation of territory beyond Israel’s recognized 1967 borders.

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download pizza.

When scattering seeds of kindness, do it by hand and not by machine. --George Ade

….......A figure gray and ghostly beneath a flowing beard .........Carole King …..Tapestry

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, 2024, pEpperoni ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Hard times require furious dancing. Each of us is proof. --Alice Walker

Cost of War:

• As of 02/08/24 State Department Costs: $228,379,078,693.
• As of 02/01/24 State Department Costs: $227,827,563,782.
• As of 02/08/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,196,989,976,843.
• As of 02/01/24 Interest on War Debt: $1,195,449,128,719.
• As of 02/08/24 Homeland Security: $1,159,773,953,104.
• As of 02/01/24 Homeland Security: $1,159,174,620,921.
• As of 02/08/24 Veterans Care: $3,498,773,827,508
• As of 02/01/24 Veterans Care: $3,487,066,295,396.
• As of 02/08/24 Military Costs: $3,068,511,309,734.
• As of 02/01/24 Military Costs: $3,067,314,141,140.
• As of 02/08/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,152,411,,263,319.
• As of 02/01/24 Total Cost of Wars: $9,136,867,457,298.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The chains of military despotism, once fastened upon a nation, ages might pass away before they could be shaken off. --William Henry Harrison

Famous Last Words: Laughter Final --Chorus Giuseppe Verdi Falstaff

..........You've had a laugh on me........Ernest Tubb …..I'm Movin' On

One smell of brimstone makes the whole world kin. --George Ade

They say the difference between a good pizza joke and a bad pizza joke is the delivery.

May Peace be your delicious base
And Joy be your delightful toppings
prairie mama
christine

Last Laugh: