Famous First Words: "I do solemnly swear [or affirm, as the case may be] that I will support the constitution of the United States and the constitution of the state of Kansas... The Loyalty Oath I was made to sign in the 1960s to work at University of Kansas
On this day in 1972 President Richard Nixon and his chief of staff, H R Haldeman, conspired to use the CIA to cover up Watergate. / A Jew and a black guy walk into a bar in Georgia, and the bartender says, “What can I get for you, senators?” An anti-Semitic conspiracy theorist walks into the same bar in Georgia, and the bartender says, “What can I get for you, congresswoman?”
..........I can finish a sack of cracker jacks in fifteen seconds flat.........June Carter Cash …..No Swallerin' Place
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. --Will Rogers
It is an absolutely gorgeous Friday morning. The sky is a pale blue with a herd of thick white clouds that make moving art with their shadows. 74°F is perfect for a stroll through the backyard. There is a chicken somewhere who sounds as if she's laying an egg the size of the a basketball. Two young sparrows are playing race through the mulberry tree and back to the utility wire. Hollyhock leaves are growing fat and happy. Even the catnip his beginning to bud. The clouds without discernible movement have slowly covered the whole sky and shadow is everywhere. So I return to my room and my cup of decaf (a dark brew that Jeff got at the food pantry) but most of all to you.
I trust your weekend will be free of Jewish space lasers. ePistliers
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It used to be “Rock Around the Clock”, now it's ”Limp Around the Block”.
Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party, a Muslim, an immigrant, a journalist, a woman, a business rival..? / The QANON dating site is called QPID.
..........Sunshine and showers........June Carter Cash & Johnny Cash …..Oh, What A Good Thing We Had
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to Alfred Kinsey, author of the Kinsey Report
- ^ Do you know anything about his upbringing?
- ^^ In what subjects did Kinsey get his various degrees?
- ^^^ What inspired him to begin research on human sexuality?
- ^^^^ How big was the sample base for the Kinsey Report?
- ^^^^^ What were the official names of the papers that became the Kinsey Report?
Big Hello: Muraho – Kinyarwanda (Rwanda) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I am not a 10. I am more like two 5s held together with mashed potatoes. --Submitted by INRITH
Image of the Week: My “old” Hollyhock plant. This is its third year with us. I believe the tall plant is Fleabane and the small ones are violets.
That pro-crime culture is getting ridiculous! My little brother's teacher asked "Who shot Abraham Lincoln?". He answered "John Wilkes Booth", and the next recess, his locker had "STOP SNITCHING" painted on it. / You know what Nixon did wrong? He only broke into the Watergate hotel once. He should have done it everyday. Then it would have been normal. Yes, you got it, jokes on you.
..........And the myrtle so bright with its emerald hue.........June Carter Cash …..Wildwood Flower
Moonbeam: Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God. --Jean Anouilh
Question of the Week: Where do you see yourself in 20 minutes? --Submitted by INRITH
Puzzle
of the Week: From listener Rawson Scheinberg: Name a famous
singer (6,6) whose last name is a
body of water. If you remove a
letter from the first name you'll get a land form. What singer is it?
--NPR Sunday Puzzle 6/18/23
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I always carry a little crazy with me, you never know when you'll need it.
I believe that COVID-19 was brought to the US from China in the boxes transporting Ivanka Trump's merchandize. She was granted several trademarks by the Chinese government after her father was elected president, The authorizations were expedited by the Chinese government during 2018-2019. The manufacture and shipment of such items would have begun in 2019. ~~I'm still looking for a reason why she would do this, but none of them so far have been funny. / If you listen to Nicki Minaj backwards, you'll hear the illuminati's plans. What's worse, if you listen to it forward, it's Nicki Minaj
..........The cake's no good if you don't mix the batter.........June Carter Cash …..Time's A Wastin'
^ Alfred was born in Hoboken, NJ in 1894. In 1913 he became one of the first eagle scouts. He was raised in a devout protestant household and attended church every week.
Almanac: It is Friday, June 23, 2023. The moon will be at first quarter on Monday (6/26) and is in Virgo. The United Nations has declared this a UN Public Service Day (A/RES/57/277) as well as International Widows' Day (A/RES/65/189). It is also Let It Go Day, National Hydration Day, Public Service Day, Runner's Selfie Day, SAT Math Day, Typing Day, and Pink Flamingo Day (the lawn ornaments). In Denmark, Finland, Latvia, and Scandinavia it is Midsummer Eve aka St. John's Eve. Luxembourg celebrates the official birthday of the Grand Duke of Luxembourg. Because it is the first Friday after Father's Day it is Take Your Dog To Work Day. Finally, because it is the fourth Friday it is National Eat At A Food Truck Day.
Among those born on this day were Josephine Martinique (1763), Carl Milles (1875), Irvin S Cobb (1876), Alfred Kinsey (1894), Duke of Windsor (King Edward VIII, 1894), Jean Anouilh (1910), William P Rogers (1913), Francis Thorne (1922), June Carter Cash (1929), Donn F Eisele (1930), Bert Convey (1933), and Joey Allen (1964).
On June twenty-third Penn signed a friendship treaty with Lenni Lenape (the only treaty "not sworn to, nor broken", 1683), the first regatta was held on the Thames (1775), John Jacob Astor organized the Pacific Fur Co (1810), congress established the Government Printing Office and the US Secret Service (1860), the type-writer was patented (1868), the Civil Aeronautics Authority was established (1938), Thomas Mann became a US citizen (1944), Truman's veto of the Taft-Hartley Act was overridden by congress (1947), Marine Land opened in Florida (US 1st aquarium, 1938), women first graduated from Harvard Medical School (1949), Lady & the Tramp was released (1955), Nasser was elected president of Egypt (1956), Jim Ryan set the mile record of 3 minutes 51.1 seconds (1967), Burger was sworn in as Chief Justice and Frazier beat Quarry for the heavyweight title (1969), Nixon & Haldeman agreed to use the CIA to cover up Watergate (1972), the CCN Tower in Toronto opened (1976), Tip O'Neill refused to let Reagan address the house (1986), Madonna was on the cover of Cosmopolitan (1987), Billy Martin ended his 4th term as Yankees manager (1988), and a rally was held at the Statue of Liberty to save Alien Nation from cancellation (1990).
Night Sky,6/23: This is the time of year when the two brightest stars of summer, Arcturus and Vega, are about equally high overhead shortly after dark: Arcturus toward the southwest, Vega toward the east. Arcturus and Vega are 37 and 25 light-years away, respectively. They represent the two commonest types of naked-eye star: Arcturus is a yellow-orange K giant, and Vega is a white A main-sequence star. They're 150 and 50 times brighter than the sun, respectively — which, combined with their nearness, is why they dominate the sky. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Grandma Kirsten and with Ollie and Max in the Washington woods.
This Week: Saturday, June 24 – World Bike Naked Day & World UFO Day & Celebration of the Senses
Sunday, June 25 - Global Smurfs Day & Global Beatles Day & Day of the Seafarer
Night Sky, 6/25: First-quarter Moon tonight (exactly first-quarter at 3:50 am. Monday morning EDT). Now Denebola is about a fist and a half to the Moon's upper right. Brighter Spica is about two fists to the Moon's left.
Monday, June 26 - Canoe Day & Harry Potter Day & National Canoe Day
Tuesday, June 27 - Celebrate Joy Day & Industrial Workers of the World Day & National Onion Day
Wednesday, June 28 – International Body Piercing Day & National Logistics Day & Tau Day
Night Sky, 6/28 : Venus (magnitude –4.6, in Cancer) is the brilliant "Evening Star" in the west through twilight into dark. It's getting lower every week. It now sets less than an hour after full darkness. In a telescope Venus is a thick crescent, dazzling white, about 29 arcseconds from pole to pole. Venus will become a dramatically bigger, thinner crescent dropping lower until it's finally lost from sight in mid- to late July.
Thursday, June 29 – International Mud Day & National Hand Shake Day & World Camera Day
Of course the moon landing was staged. No rocket can make in to the moon in a single stage. / The Canadian Illuminati call themselves The IlluminatEh.
..........The taste of love is sweet.........June Carter Cash …..Ring Of Fire
^^ Alfred has a BS in biology and psychology from Bowdoin College (1914 and 1915) and a ScD in biology from Harvard (1919). He taught Zoology at Indiana University and studied gall wasps.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I get it. I once saw a sign that said Man Wanted For Robbery, so I went right in and applied for the job. --Adam Felber
Moonbeam: Nothing is irreparable in politics. --Jean Anouilh
Video of the Week: The spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Netflix is opening a restaurant. Sadly it will not be called Stranger Wings or Netflix and Chili. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 6/17/23
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others. --Will Rogers
If you liked Joe McCarthy and McCarthyism you'll love Ted Cruz and Cruzism. / The only man who ever entered parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes.
..........It will brighten all the way.........June Carter Cash …..Keep On The Sunny Side
^^^ Alfred was asked to teach a course called Marriage and Family and found there was very little scientific information on human sexual behavior.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I accidentally said “big” instead of “grande” while ordering coffee at Starbucks and they took me behind the store and shot me in the leg. --Submitted by 50 Nerds of Grey
Weird Word of the Week: Accismus – An ironic rhetorical device in which one feigns indifference, or makes a pretense of refusing something one desires. https://www.britannica.com/art/accismus
Dragon of the Week: Dragon Bed
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Keep vegetables fresher longer. Line the bottom of the vegetable bin in your refrigerator with Bounty Paper Towels to absorb the excess moisture. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty2.html
There were two Q-Anon believers who were absolutely convinced that Trump won the 2020 election. They were traveling together and were killed in a traffic accident. When they got to heaven, God met them and told them that he’d reveal anything about Earthly life they’d always wanted to know. They asked him how Biden stole the 2020 election. God looked kindly upon them and said, “Biden didn’t steal the 2020 election. He won fairly.” The first one looked at the second and said, “This goes higher than we thought!”
...........Two lovers stood in the white, white sand.........June Carter Cash …..Tall Lover Man
^^^^ Over 18,000 sex history questionnaires were collected, however, his original goal was 100,000.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's not a dad bod; it's a father figure. --Submitted by TETD
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Black Hills Con 2023 (23-25, Rapid City, SD) Are You Ready To Rock? https://blackhillscon.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjwv8qkBhAnEiwAkY-ahstayXUi-l9Gy4ZorLCe3FH1GR57TkOo1rmGelBas_VkwX2O4cea9RoC7gYQAvD_BwE
Perhaps Sillier Convention of the Week: Romance Writers of American Conference (28-30. Anaheim, CA) ...four days filled with education, career enhancement, and networking... https://www.rwa.org/Online/Events/RWA%20Conference/Online/Events/Conferences.aspx?hkey=0d20e913-3c9a-4a4c-80cb-ced7f280d826
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: George Strait → > gorge, strait
The US government hired Stanley Kubrick to film the fake moon landing...but Kubrick was such a stickler it insisted that they film on location. / The difference between Q Anon and alchol is that Alcohol kills fewer brain cells.
..........Like an old gray cat in winter, keepin' close to the wall.........June Carter Cash …..Old Time Feeling
^^^^^ Sexual Behavior in the Human Male was published in 1948 and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female was published in 1953. Collectively the are known as The Kinsey Report
Quote of the Week: Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. --George Carlin
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Has anyone ever told Trump that he has the right to remain silent?
Today's Peace of History, June 23 1972: The Education Amendments of 1972, commonly known as Title IX, became US law, prohibiting sex discrimination at educational institutions. ~~Because of it, the KU marching band finally admitted women.
10) Illuminati Incense - New World Odor. / 72% of Republicans doubt that Obama was born in the USA. While 92% of all voters doubt that Trump's hair was born in this country.
..........East and West the fire will roll.........June Carter Cash …..God Gave Noah The Rainbow
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle June 23, 2023, fAked ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.
Moonbeam: I like reality. It tastes like bread. --Jean Anouilh
Cost of War:
- As of 06/22/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $.210,012,747,568.
- As of 06/15/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $209,447,921,882.
- As of 06/22/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,145,690,870,205.
- As of 06/15/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,144,113,244,767.
- As of 06/22/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,139,824,276,529.
- As of 06/15/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,139,210,634,286.
- As of 06/22/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,109,892,917,440.
- As of 06/15/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,097,929,682,794.
- As of 06/22/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,029,561,795,507.
- As of 06/15/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,028,363,553,730.
- As of 06/22/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,634,984,273,423.
- As of 06/15/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,619,068,996,031.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice doggie” until you can find a rock. --Will Rogers
Famous Last Words: ...a fine of three thousand dollars. --Joint Resolution in Relation to the Public Printing
..........No use ramblin', walkin' in the shadows.........June Carter Cash …..Pack Up Your Sorrows
If the moon landing was fake, NASA owes us a huge Apollogy. / We need new conspiracy theories because all the old ones came true.
May Peace be your Safeguard Complex
And Joy be your Alien Connection
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
No comments:
Post a Comment