ePistle at pLay

Famous First Words: Quack! Who, me? Oh, no... Donald Duck's very first words The Wise Little Hen

It's Toy Industry Day ! What has four wheels and eats LEGO® bricks? A Vacuum Cleaner. / You can't let those LEGO® boys play basketball; they only throw bricks. / Ella the elephant felt so embarrassed when she spilled multi colors of paint all over herself. Then she discovered she could hide in the LEGO®s.

..........I wanna move out, I don't wanna move on.........AJR …..Don't Throw Out My Legos

Neither conscience nor sanity itself suggests that the United States is, should or could be the global gendarme. --Robert McNamara

It is a beautiful Friday morning. The sky is blue-gray without a cloud in sight. There is a breeze waving the branches around and down right choreographing the willow tree. 68°F is an ideal temperature for an early walk or for the start to a great day. I watch a gust of wind approach from the trees in the far neighbor's yard through the barely seen trees of the near neighbor to the mulberry outside my window like a wave to the rising sun. Two dogs belonging to the far neighbor begin to howl and bark. I cannot see them or the object of their communication, but it makes me wonder if whatever they are chasing from their yard will follow the wave and arrive at my house. ? Puck sleeps on his pillow; Veronica sleeps in her cat tree. I light a Cinnabon candle in lieu of real carbs and sip my delicious, flavored coffee. But mostly I get to write to you.

Hope your weekend is sweeter than a banana split, ePistlers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Everyone's an atheist until they clog a toilet at someone else's house. --credited to Sun Tzu

Ted, my stuffed teddy, is an actor. You may have seen her in The Bear Witch Project. / There was a sign above the Teddy Bears in the Toy Store: Please Don't Feed The Animals. They're already stuffed. / I crossed my Teddy Bear with my stuffed skunk and got Winnie the P.U.

..........Because tigers play too rough.........Elvis …..Teddy Bear

Trivia Questions: It is the weekend of the National Asparagus Festival in Shelby, MI. What do we really know about this vegetable?

• ^ What ailments have been treated by Asparagus?
• ^^ True or False: Asparagus makes your urine stink?
• ^^^ What color is Asparagus?
• ^^^^ How long will an Asparagus plant continue to produce?
• ^^^^^ How fast does an Asparagus plant grow?

Big Hello: Halau – Khoekhoe (Nama) {Botswana & Namibia} https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you're ever sad, just remember the world is 4.5 billion years old and you somehow managed to live at the same time as Stephen King. --Submitted by bc of tx

Image of the Week: My infant hollyhock patch. I've wanted one for several years and this is the start.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Library staff write 90% of the submissions found in the suggestion box. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

You too can solve a Rubik's Cube in 7 seconds. Drop it into a tub of paint. / Never trust a Rubik's Cube, they know all the angles. / I've heard that algorithms can help solve the Rubik's Cube, so here's a video of the former vice president dancing

..........Thousands of answers for one simple question.........Athlete …..Rubik's Cube

Moonbeam: The rage for railroads is so great that many will be laid in parts where they will not pay. --George Stephenson, British, civil engineer

Question of the Week: Why are ethics questions always like: "is it ethical to steal bread to feed your starving family?" And not: "is it ethical to hoard bread when families are starving?"

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Peter Collins, of Ann Arbor, MI: Think of a well-known author (9,6). Change the first letter of the last name and anagram those six letters to spell a word. Now read everything together — the author's first name plus the anagram with a letter changed of the last name — and you'll get a certain professional athlete. Who was it? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 6/4/23

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. --Isaac Asimov

Barbie dolls are no longer made of plastic because the Kardashians used it all up. / I went to buy my niece the new Barbie that went on sale today. The line was out the door and down the block.; it was a real Barbie-queue. / Have you heard about Divorced Barbie? She comes with all of Ken's accessories.

..........Life in plastic, it's fantastic.........Aqua …..Barbie Girl

^ Asparagus cochinchinensis roots have been historically used in Chinese folk medicine for the treatment of cough, acute and chronic bronchitis, pharyngitis, hemorrhoids, and cancers for thousands of years.

Almanac: It is Friday, June 9, 2023. The moon goes into the last quarter tomorrow (6/10) and is in Pisces. It is Banana Split Days, Donald Duck Day, International Archives Day, Poultry Days, and Toy Industry Day. In Oklahoma it is also Senior Citizens Day.

Among those born on this day were Leopold I (HRE Emperor, 1640), George Stephenson (1781), Bertha von Suttner (1843), Cole Porter (1893), Fred Waring (1900), Robert Cummings (1908), Les Paul (1915), Robert McNamara (1916), Jackie Mason (1930), Donald Duck (1934), John Lord (Deep Purple, 1941), Mitch Mitchell (Jimi Hendrix Experience, 1947), Bonnie Tyler (Gaynor Hopkins, 1951), Michael J. Fox (1961), and Johnny Depp (1963).

On June ninth the passage of Halley's Comet was recorded for the 23rd time (1456), Cartier sailed into the mouth of the St. Lawrence River (1534), Thomas Morton became the first person deported from the new world (1628), Georgia was chartered (1832), the first book was copyrighted under the US constitution (Philadelphia Spelling Book, 1790), Charles Graham received the first patent for false teeth (1822), Hires sold his first root beer (Philadelphia, 1869), the EL began operation in Chicago (1883), Honus Wagner became first baseball player to get 3,000 hits (1914), the first Donald Duck cartoon was shown (1931), Anthony Eden resigned as British PM (1957), Brian Jones quit the Rolling Stones (1969), Harry Blackmun became a Supreme Court Justice (1970), Star Trek V premiered (1989), and the British lease on Hong Kong expired (1997).

Night Sky, 6/9: The Big Dipper hangs high in the northwest as the stars come out. The Dipper's Pointers, currently its bottom two stars, point lower right toward Polaris. Above Polaris, and looking very similar to it, is Kochab, the lip of the Little Dipper's bowl. (The rest of the Little Dipper is mostly dim.) Kochab stands precisely above Polaris around the end of twilight or a little after. How accurately can you time this event for your location, perhaps using the vertical edge of a building? http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: My first car was a motorcycle. --Adam Carolla

This Week: Saturday, June 10 – AA Founders Day & Iced Tea Day & World Gin Day (WOW!)

Sunday, June 11 – Corn on the Cab Day & National Cotton Candy Day & Race Unity Sunday

Night Sky, 6/11: Here it is almost summer. But as twilight fades, look very low in the north-northwest for wintry Capella very out of season. The farther north you are, the less low it will appear. You may need binoculars. If you're as far north as Montreal or either of the Portlands (Oregon and Maine), Capella is actually circumpolar.

Monday, June 12 – Loving Day & National Jerky Day & World Day Against Child Labor

Tuesday, June 13 – National Forklift Safety Day & Random Acts of Light Day

Wednesday, June 14 – Flag Day & National Bourbon Day & Blood Donor Day

Night Sky, 6/14: Jupiter (magnitude –2.1, in Aries) is low in the east as dawn brightens. It might be easiest to see about 60 to 45 minutes before sunrise. Saturn, magnitude +1.0, in dim Aquarius) is well up in the southeast by the beginning of dawn.

Thursday, June 15 – Global Wind Day & Nature Photography Day & Worldwide Day of Giving

I love my pet rock. Our relationship is so solid. / I was told that pet rocks are worthless but mine has sedimental value. / I have a pet rock I name Stone Called Steve Austin.

..........I came with instructions that made you laugh.........Rev Horton Heat …..I'm Your Pet Rock

^^ Asparagus makes your urine stink but only some people can actually smell it. Genetic differences occur in olfactory receptors that lead some people to be able to smell these odorous compounds released in urine. Asparagus contains asparagusic acid. When the vegetable is digested, this chemical is broken down into a group of related sulfur-containing and ammonia compounds.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Calling bigotry an opinion is like calling arsenic a flavor. --Jack Cameron

Moonbeam: After the verb 'to love', 'to help' is the most beautiful verb in the world. --Bertha von Suttner

Video of the Week: Les and Mary Paul c. 1952 (:27) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvWj-N6bvjU

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Go Ahead, Worry (Not My Job with Bobby McFerrin) What's something you can do to an unhappy person to make them even more unhappy. a) Say the words "get over it" b) Show them a happy picture or c) Sing. (Answer is Show them a happy picture) --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 25th Anniversary Spectacular, Part III 6/3/23

We burned to death 100,000 Japanese civilians in Tokyo – men, women and children. LeMay recognized that what he was doing would be thought immoral if his side had lost. But what makes it immoral if you lose and not immoral if you win? --Robert McNamara

They are devout vegetarians; they only let their kids play with Cabbage Patch Dolls. / Mommy, have you seen my Cabbage Patch Doll? Susie, be quiet and eat your coleslaw. / Are Brussels Sprouts future Cabbage Patch Kids?

..........Used to call myself an alien..........Lu Carter …..Cabbage Patch Kids

^^^ Asparagus is not always green. Violetto d’Albenga is the varietal name of purple asparagus originating from Albenga, Italy. There is white asparagus too. White asparagus is technically a green asparagus, just grown without sunlight. As pretty as white and purple asparagus may be, green asparagus still reigns supreme in the nutrition category as there is much more fibre and vitamins present in the green variety.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Today I am multi-slacking.

Weird Word of the Week: Tulgey – thick, dark, and scary. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tulgey

Dragon of the Week: Slide and Spray Dragon

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Absorb excess oil from a sewing machine. After oiling your sewing machine, stitch several rows on a sheet of Bounty Paper Towels before sewing any fabric. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounty.html

Lawn Darts...because in the 70s we didn't give a crap. / I own a tee shirt that says: Lawn Dart Survivor. / Lawn darts got banned after three deaths. Hey, lawn darts don't kill people, people with lawn darts kill people!

...........Come high water or hills.........Ed's Redeeming Qualities …..Lawn Dart

^^^^ Asparagus will reproduce for up to 20 consecutive years! Asparagus is a perennial and will continue to produce yearly but patience is key. It takes about 3 years to grow asparagus before you can harvest it.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: a 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Metropolis Superman Celebration 2023 (9-11, Metropolis, IL) It's a SUPER Celebration. https://www.supermancelebration.net/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: WordCamp Europe 2023 (8-10, Athens, Greece) the world’s largest Content Management System https://europe.wordcamp.org/2023/about/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Charlotte Bronte →> Charlotte Hornet

Monopoly has a lot of pieces and parts. Collectively they are called Monopolyfilla. / When it comes to board games about selling real estate Hasbro really has a monopoly. / If I had $1 fr every time mom said I play too much Monopoly, I could put a hotel on all my properties.

..........I'd never seen a silver roadster painted chrome.........Jordan Rabjohn …..Monopoly

^^^^^ You actually can see asparagus grow. Take a seat and keep your eye on the prize. Asparagus can grow up to 7 inches daily.

Quote of the Week: Instead of “what's new?” I've started asking people “develop any fun coping mechanisms lately?” --Conan O'Brien

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I sprayed fruit scented Febreze in the bathroom and now it smells like Shitrus. --Submitted by PsyDe

Today's Peace of History, June 9, 1872: Julia Ward Howe, an abolitionist and the composer of “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” tried to establish the Mothers’ Peace Day Observance on the second Sunday in June. In 1872 the first such celebration was held and the meetings continued for several years. Her idea was widely accepted, but she was never able to get the day recognized as an official holiday.

Hot Wheels: A 97¢ beginning to the grown-up's most expensive hobby. / I read that cave people invented the wheel and conquered fire. So they invented hot wheels, right? / I found 6 hot wheels in the fridge. My 6 year old said they were hot wheels and he was cooling them off.

..........Speedin' real fast.........Mitchkmn …..Hot Wheels

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, June 9, 2023, ePistle at pLay . Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith, Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: Gratitude makes optimism sustainable. --Michael J Fox

Cost of War:

• As of 06/08/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $208,912,253,258.
• As of 06/01/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $208,335,999,478.
• As of 06/08/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,142,617,095,007.
• As of 06/01/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,141,007,553,704.
• As of 06/08/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,142,617,344,148.
• As of 06/01/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,138,002,972,671.
• As of 06/08/23 Veterans Care since 2001:$3,086,593,796,569.
• As of 06/01/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $3,074,391,867,827.
• As of 06/08/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,027,228,128,357.
• As of 06/01/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,026,085,916,236.
• As of 06/08/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,603,982,670,447.
• As of 06/01/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,587,747,945,225.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Coercion, after all, merely captures man. Freedom captivates him. --Robert NcNamara

Famous Last Words: ...advance the image of records and archives to enhance their visibility globally. Website: International Archives Week

..........Whatever makes your time feel satisfyin'.........Joni Mitchell …..Shiny Toys

Three navel destroyers: USS Adams, a snowstorm in Florida, and a hula hoop with a nail in it. / Why did the yo-yo cross the road? It was walking the dog. / I found out that the little nervous guy from my work is having an affair with his secretary. Wow, a fidget sinner.

May Peace be your motivation

And Joy be your inspiration

prairie mama

christine

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