Toiling ePistle

 Famous First Words: I found myself within a forest dark... Dante ….. The Inferno

The last Friday of January is Fun At Work Day! A friend has a job running a form for Old McDonald. He's the new CIEIO. / Nice resumé, Mr Hendrix...but are you experienced?

..........It's surely not his brain that makes me thrill.........Mildred Fisher …..Bill

Where trade unions are most firmly organized, there are the rights of the people most respected. --Samuel Gompers

It is a very January Friday morning. Half of the sky is pale blue patches framed by fluffy white clouds and the other half has a cover of gray clouds that make the world look cold. A 36°F temperature is accented by a light breeze from the southwest. Wednesday's snow has melted from rooftops but still lays brown and lumpy on lawns and gardens. Our local murder of crows is here early today. The scout is sitting on the backyard utility pole barking comments and looking all around. Caa, caw, cah. Puck is laying on his pillow listening to Veronica bat a jingle toy around in the other room. Is he wishing he could join her or is he hoping she'll tire and nap soon? Apparently I have nothing on my mind so I wonder what the dog is thinking. Humans – they're so strange. I carry my cup of doctored Nuttin But Kisses to my computer and take several long, steamy breaths clearing my sinuses and enjoying the aroma. But it is the first sip that brings a smile. Ah, the rising sun has just peeked out from a cloud and cast light across Bruno's deck; it's gonna be another great day

Hope your weekend is coated in chocolate with a cherry on top, ePistlers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you're supposed to be doing something else. --Submitted by Heinlein Society

Everything on your resumé is a lie? I like that, welcome to Sales. / Algebra In The Workplace: XY = $1.00/ XX = $0.77. solve for Y?

..........Her heart was warm and gay.........Kate Smith …..The Last Time I Saw Paris

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Lewis Carroll aka Charles Lutwidgt Dodgson

• ^ How many books did Mr Carroll write altogether?
• ^^ What was the inspiration for the Cheshire Cat?
• ^^^ Into how many languages has Alice's Adventures in Wonderland been translated?
• ^^^^ Which Carroll characters have been immortalized in the stained glass of Christ Church College?
• ^^^^^ How was Carroll's health?

Big Hello: Dia dhuit - Gaelic https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My phone just filmed a 3 hour documentary about life inside my pocket. --Submitted by jm of ks

Image of the Week: In honor of the Year of the Rabbit ….. and to sneak in an extra dragon)

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 25% of arguments between librarians are settled by a game of Scrabble. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the pub. / The toughest job I ever had was selling doors, door-to-door. --Bell Bailey

..........He don't plant tators, he don't plant cotton.........Jules Bledsoe …..Ol' Man River

Moonbeam: Nature is visible Spirit. Spirit is invisible Nature. --Friedrich von Schelling

Meditation of the Week: Is it always better to be just than unjust? --Plato

Puzzle of the Week: Name a geographical location in two words — nine letters altogether — that, when spoken aloud, sounds roughly like four letters of the alphabet. What is it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 4/21/13

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How often do planes crash? Just once. --Submitted by bl of ut

It's just amazing how many spiders they have down there in Web Design. / I got fired from the bank today. An old man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over.

..........And now that dream is here beside me.........Rita Hayworth and Gene Kelly …..Long Ago And Far Away

^ Lewis Carroll wrote 11 books on mathematics and 12 works of literary fiction.

Almanac: It is Friday, January 27, 2023. The moon will be in the first quarter tomorrow (1/28) and is in Aries. The United Nations has declared this International day of Commemoration in Memory of the Victims of the Holocaust (A/RES/60/7). It is Auschwitz Liberation Day, International Mobile Phone Recycling Day, National Geographic Day, National Big Wig Day, National Chocolate Cake Day, National preSchool Fitness Day, Thomas Crapper Day, and Vietnam Peace Day. Because it is the last Friday in January it is also Fun At Work Day.

Among those born on this day were Jean-Francois de Troy (1679), Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756), Friedrich von Schelling (1775), David Strauss (1808), Louis Schubert (1828), Lewis Carroll (Charles Dodgson, 1832), Dmitri Mendeleev (1834), Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (1836), Samuel Compers (1850), Kaiser Wilhelm II (1859), Will Marion Cook (1969), Jerome Kern (1885), Eduard Kunneke (1885), William Randolph Hearst Jr. (1908), Elmore James (1918), Skitch Henderson (1918), David Seville (Ross Bagdasarian, 1919), Donna Reed (1921), Sabu (1924), Bobby Blue Bland (1930), Mardecai Richler (1931), Troy Donahue (1936), Kim Gardner (1938), Mairead Corrigan-Maguire (1945), Mikhail Baryshnikov (1948), Brian Downey (1951), Mimi Rogers (1955), Keith Olbermann (1959), and Bridget Fonda (1964).

On January twenty-seventh Dante was exiled (1302), Pirate Henry Morgan landed in Panama City (1671), Stanislas, last king of Poland, abdicated (1736), the first state university in the US was chartered (Athens, GA, 1785), Edison patented the electric incandescent lamp (1880), the National Geographic Society was organized (1888), the Social Democratic Party of America held its first convention (1900), US marines occupied Haiti (1915), Lenin's body placed in Red Square (1924), the Harlem Globetrotters played their first game (1927), the first tape recorder was sold (1948), Laverne & Shirley premiered (1976), Cyndi Lauper released Time and Time (1984), and Catherine Roskam became the first US female Episcopal bishop (1996).

Night Sky, 1/27: After dark the Great Square of Pegasus sinks in the west left of Jupiter. It's tipped onto one corner. Meanwhile the Big Dipper is creeping up in the north-northeast, tipped up on its handle. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Super Sleepers

This Week: Saturday, January 28 – Fruitcake Toss day & National Kazoo Day & National Seed Swap Day

Night Sky, 1/28: First-quarter Moon (exactly so at 10:19 am. EST). The Moon is part way between Mars to its left and Jupiter farther to its lower right. During twilight Venus and Saturn complete the lineup low in the west-southwest; a line from the Moon through Jupiter points to them — because, of course, they all lie nearly on the great circle of the ecliptic. Uranus and Neptune are also part of the evening lineup, out of naked-eye sight.

Sunday, January 29 – Freethinkers Day & National Puzzle Day & Thomas Paine Day

Monday, January 30 – Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day & Inane Phone Answering Message Day

Tuesday, January 31 – Fancy Rat and Mouse Day & Appreciate Your Social Security Check Day & Street Children Day

Wednesday, February 1 – Candy Making Day & Freedom Day & World Hijab Day & National Get Up Day

Night Sky, 2/1: Mercury is having a nice dawn apparition. Starting about 50 minutes before your local sunrise, look for it low in the southeast. It's the brightest thing there, shining at about magnitude 0.0 all week. Don't confuse it with Antares about three fists to its right or upper right. Or Altair a little farther to Mercury's left or upper left.

Thursday, February 2 – Candlemas aka Groundhog Day aka Hedgehog Day aka Imbolc & Sled Dog Day

I work as a lifeguard. It is my job to actively fight natural selection. / In retail there are 2 important things to learn. Honesty and Empathy. The sooner you learn to fake these, the better you will be at your job.

..........Hummingbird, mockingbird, listen to me.........Deanna Durbin …..Can't Help Singing

^^ The Cheshire cat was inspired by cheese molds from the Cheshire county in England, a dairy-rich area, where “grinning like a Cheshire cat” was a popular phrase, possibly because cats would have been so happy to live in a land of abundant dairy farms. Cheese makers in the area molded the cheese with a cat’s grinning face, and sliced from the back, so that the cat would slowly disappear and the last part consumed was the head.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Because of a typo I accidentally enrolled my daughter in Girl SCOTUS and her troop has eliminated partisan gerrymandering. --Geeky Steven -Submitted by ay of wa

Moonbeam: Weakness is not treachery, but it fulfills all its functions. --Kaiser Wilhelm II

Video of the Week: Jon Lovitz as George Santos on the Tonight Show https://www.tiktok.com/@fallontonight/video/7190942542282689835

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: “What's the worst country? I mean, you know, you have a list in your head.” --Peter Sagal “Peter, I really appreciate the question,” --Anthony Blinken...yes, THE Anthony Blinken Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 1/21/23

The trade union movement represents the organized economic power of the workers... It is in reality the most potent and the most direct social insurance the workers can establish. --Samuel Gompers

I had a job selling bras for a while but it couldn't support me. / I took a job as an archaeologist's assistant. Now my career is completely in ruins.

..........I'm as awkward as a camel, that's not the worst..........Fred Astaire …..Pick Yourself Up

^^^ Alice has been published in more than 70 languages.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: reading Hegel is HARD. But I promise that if you just push through and knuckle down you will also get bored. --Schleiermacher --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Weird Word of the Week: Taradiddle: someone or something that is filled with pretentious nonsense or something that is a lie. https://expresswriters.com/34-craziest-words-english/

Dragon of the Week: 2023 Chinese New Year Dragon at EmQuartier Bangkok, Thailand --Submitted by vr of th

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Repel Mosquitoes. To repel mosquitoes, tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop or the plastic flap in the back of a baseball cap. Oleander, the fragrance is Bounce, repels insects. If one sheet of Bounce doesn't work for you, fill our other belt loops with sheets of Bounce, turning yourself into an interesting fashion statement. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/bounce.html

People are often shocked when they find out what a bad electrician I am. / I got an MBA and tried my luck as an investment banker. It was fun for a while, but I quit eventually because I lost interest.

...........When your heart's on fire.........Tamara …..Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

^^^^ So many are there mock turtle, white rabbit, etc. the stained glass windows at Christ Church Dining Hall

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My friend donated her body to science and science donated her body to goodwill. --Submitted by aeb of kc

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: St Helens Sci-Fi, Comic, & Toy Fair 2023 (1/29), St Helens, UK) https://scificons.com/events/info/20302/st--helens-sci-fi-comic-and-toy-fair-2023

Actual Event of the Week: I was at a stop light today waiting to turn left. The rear window of the car in front of me was completely covered with snow. There was not even a peephole. The license plate had a border around it that said “No Worries.....God's Got This Covered”

Actual Science Conference of the Week: AIAA 2023 Science & Technology Forum and Exhibition (23-27, National Harbor, MD) Shaping the future of Aerospace. https://www.dote.osd.mil/Home/ctl/Details/Mid/33173/ItemID/1997/?ContainerSrc=[G]Containers/Joint2/Card-Rounded&SkinSrc=[G]skins/dod2/fullwidth

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Aegean Sea or Indian Cay

Last year I worked as a tailor. I wasn't really suited for the job. / At the Ford factory, they have to rotate the people installing mufflers. It's just too exhausting.

..........You know what, you're lovely.........Adele Dixon …..I Won't Dance

^^^^^ Carroll suffered from chronic migraines, and epilepsy, stammering, partial deafness, and ADHD.

My Own Writing of the Week: I kept hoping that as the Catholic boys aged they would grow up and relax; perhaps they might retire from being Catholic. This doesn't seem to be true. They seem to get more and more frightened or nervous or anxious. I think - wow, it's been 40 years since parochial school had its hands on him, surely...alas, no. But, I'm a creature of perpetual hope.

The Alchemist told me that he was once given a blow job by Inanna herself; but he didn't get off. He had, in fact, never achieved orgasm during oral sex. What a waste! Inanna felt bad and gave some sort of blessing to the woman who could finally do that. It is possible that this was a youthful challenge; I didn't take it up. For one thing, I wasn't a youth. For another, I wasn't about to compete with a goddess. I never tried him again; whose loss was that?

And if we are going to divide them by religious preference, I had a brief affair with a Muslim. There was a small community of Algerians at KU when I was an undergrad. They were fascinating and told incredible stories. The guys had fought in the liberation army. The women were strong and beautiful and some of them had been fighters as well. But the romantic appeal wasn't how he prayed; it was that he had been a revolutionary when Algeria kicked out the French. How close to Che can you get? I was still in college and he was, ultimately, one of the endless, boring, boys in bed. I have no feeling that he was better or worse, more or less hung up (or hung, for that matter). He was very tall and slim and dark and altogether exotic but he predated the Apollo epithet, now when I think back I call him my African Apollo.

From Always Surrender by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: Never look encouragingly at the brass, except with a short glance to give an important cue. --Richard Strauss

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Apparently the White House has been giving out secret documents as parting gifts. --Submitted by Thoughts From Aisle 4

Today's Peace of History, January 27, 1969: In Detroit, African-American auto workers, known as the Eldon Avenue Axle Plant Revolutionary Union Movement, led a wildcat strike against racist practices and poor working conditions at the Chrysler plant.

Eating a salad at your desk is the only thing more depressing than work itself. / I hired a handyman and gave him a list of jobs to do. He completed jobs 1, 3, 5, and 7. Turns out, he only does odd jobs.

..........Delightful to know and heaven to kiss.........Irene Dunne, Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers …..Lovely To Look At

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle January 27, 2023, Toiling ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS.

Moonbeam: Work, look for peace and calm in work: you will find it nowhere else. --Dmitri Mendeleev

Cost of War:

• As of 01/26/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $198,343,615,778.
• As of 01/19/23 State Department War Costs since 2001: $197,785,748,198.
• As of 01/26/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,113,097,768,262.
• As of 01/19/23 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,111,539,655,570.
• As of 01/26/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,127,149,061,359.
• As of 01/19/23 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,125,930,592,205.
• As of 01/26/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,862,831,152,706.
• As of 01/19/23 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,851,020,283,222.
• As of 01/26/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,004,815,296,713.
• As of 01/19/23 Military Costs since 2001: $3,003,632,514,651.
• As of 01/26/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,306,238,208,539.
• As of 01/19/23 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,290,526,577,522.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

There is not a wrong too long endured that we are not determined to abolish. --Samuel Gompers

Famous Last Words: make all our dreams come true for me and you. --Cyndi Grecco The Laverne & Shirley Theme Song

..........I will feel a glow just thinking of you.........Fred Astaire …..The Way You Look Tonight ~~All of today's songs were composed by Jerome Kern

Jokes are for people who do their jobs CORRECTLY. / Warning! To Avoid Injury Don't Tell Me How To Do My Job

May Peace accompany you

And Joy be your companion

prairie mama

christine

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