Jitterbug ePistle

 Famous First Words: There is nothing wrong with your television set... Opening sequence of Outer Limits

Happy Line Dance Week!! (12-17) Actually, I went line dancing last night. It was really a roadside sobriety test, but it amounted to the same thing. / It's also National Ballroom Dance Week (16-25) There are only two things keeping me from being a good dancer. My feet

..........or Sammy Davis Junior.........B B King …..My Lucille

. . .fatal error arises from the belief that the only method of maintaining peace is always to be ready for war. --William Whipper All of today's peace quotes are from Mr Whipper's: An Address on Non-Resistance to Offensive Aggression. Published on September 16 1837

It is a terrific (66°F) Friday morning. The sky is filled with clouds – banks of them and wisps and piles. Some are moving slowly to the northeast. Some seem absolutely still. A rising sun peeks in and out like a game of cosmic peekaboo. There is a breeze that shakes the tops of the cottonwoods and makes them sing (or giggle) as matins for the morning. Birds accompany this song of daybreak greeting. Puck and I as we walk down the block listening to the trees and birds and the people on their way to work or school. The world is dry; lawns and gardens are still green, but leaves are beginning to cover the grass and dry earth is what we smell at the edge of the defunct mosquito farm. We return home to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and a phone call from Kirsten (my daughter and grandmother to Max and Ollie, who are still in Washington) who is in Lawrence from Seattle this weekend. How very pleasant and now I get to inhale creamy steamy coffee fumes and write to you. Can't get much better.

Hope your weekend takes the cake, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why do our cars have to be roadworthy but the roads are not car worthy. --Submitted by PsyDe

The only line dancing I've ever done is while waiting for an empty restroom at Woodstock. / I hate it when you're at a dance and someone just waltzes up to you when clearly they're playing a tango.

..........If you want to have a ball.........B B King …..Let The Good Times Roll

Trivia Questions: It's Play-Doh Day !

• ^ What was play-doh's very first purpose in life?
• ^^ What colors does play-doh come in?
• ^^^ Hasbro trademarked the scent of Play-Doh. How would you describe it?
• ^^^^ What does Captain Kangaroo have to do with Play-Doh?
• ^^^^^ Would you care to guess how many cans of play-doh have been sold since 1956?

Big Hello: Xαĩpε (Khaire) Ancient Greek https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Roughly every 6 days in the world, a country celebrates the anniversary of its independence from Britain. It's the most widely celebrated holiday in the world. --Submitted by ns of ks

Image of the Week: Veronica the bird watcher

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 50% of librarians can agree that the library is too cold. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

My high school reunion was a dud; I joined the line dance but it turned out to be a big punch line. / My new hip replacement comes with a remote control. Now I can dance any dance in the world.

..........As the music played I saw my life turn around.........B B King …..When Love Came To Town

Moonbeam: The growth of New England was a result of the aggregate efforts of a busy multitude, each in his narrow circle toiling for himself, to gather competence or wealth. The expansion of New France was the achievement of a gigantic ambition striving to grasp a continent. It was a vain attempt. --Francis Parkman

Meditation of the Week: Is true beauty objective or subjective?

Puzzle of the Week: This week's challenge comes from listener Michael Penn, of Durham, N.C. Name two countries, with a total of 12 letters, that when spelled one after the other form six consecutive state postal abbreviations.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't really tan these days; I just turn a darker shade of gray. --Submitted by FNOG

When 2 line dancers are jigging out to Shoot the Rooster, they're called a pair a shoot. / When do people learn to dance? Why did I not get that chance? If you think we all dance naturally...Then you've obviously never danced with me.

..........And I can't be satisfied.........B B King …..Three O'clock Blues

^ Before kids were playing with Play-Doh, their parents were using it to remove soot and dirt from their wall coverings by simply rolling the wad of goop across the surface.

Almanac: It is Friday, September 16, 2022. The moon will be in the last quarter tomorrow (9/17). The United Nations has declared this International Day for the Preservation of the Ozone Layer. It is also Anne Dudley Bradstreet Day, Clean Up the World Weekend (16-18), Constitution Day, Pledge Across America, Mayflower Day, National Tattoo Story Day, National POW/MIA Recognition Day, National Tradesmen Day, Play-doh Day, Stay Away from Seattle Day, and Trail of Tears Commemoration Day. In Malaysia and Singapore it is Independence Day (1963).

Among those born on this day were Henry V (1387), Louis XIV (1638), Francis Parkman (1823), JC Penney (1875), James J. Jeans (1877), Allen Funt (1914), Bess Myerson (1924), B B King (1925), Robert Schuller (1926), Peter Falk (1927), Ed Begley Jr (1949), and Jennifer Tilly (1958).

On September sixteenth the great seal of the US was first used (1782), the typesetting machine was patented (1857), Oklahoma opened the Cherokee Strip to white settlement (1893), General Motors was founded (1908), the American Legion was incorporated (1919), Sam Rayburn was elected speaker of the House (1940), Outer Limits premiered on TV (1963), Ford announced amnesty of Vietnam war "deserters" (1974), the BART began regular transbay service (1974), Papua New Guinea gained its independence (1975), and the Episcopal church approved ordination of women (1976).

Night Sky, 9/16: Now the late-rising Moon shines in line with Mars and Aldebaran to its right. The Moon and Mars are about 4° or 5° apart as seen from the longitudes of the Americas. But this is still the closest pairing of the Moon and a bright planet visible in September from this part of the world. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: It's the brothers, alright, but I have no idea where they are (the race track? Miner's Pier? The basement of the Space Needle?)

This Week: Saturday, September 17 – Batman Day & Citizenship Day & National Clean Up Day

Sunday, September 18 - International Equal Pay Day & National Respect Day & Wife Appreciation Day

Night Sky, 9/18: The Great Square of Pegasus is climbing the eastern sky. Look for it above bright Jupiter and maybe a bit left. It's balancing on one corner, as it always does when we see it in either the east or the west. Only when the Great Square is very high and more or less south does it sit level like a box.

Monday, September 19 – Respect for the Aged Day & Talk Like A Pirate Day

Tuesday, September 20 – National Care for Kids Day & National Voter Registration Day

Wednesday, September 21 – International Day of Peace & National Dance Day

Night Sky, 9/21: Neptune is in opposition. It's magnitude 7.8 in eastern Aquarius. Equally bright (or faint) this week is the asteroid 3 Juno about 10° to Neptune's west. Using a telescope or large binoculars, find them both in late evening

Thursday, September 22 – Elephant Appreciation Day & Hobbit Day & Remember Me Thursday

I had a one-legged girl friend who loved to line dance. Her name was Eilean. / Kansas City's debutante affair (The Crystal Ball) was usually held at the art gallery. Because it was big enough to hold a cotillion of 'em.

..........Like my back ain't got no bone.........B B King …..Rock Me Baby

^^ Back when it was still a household product, Play-Doh came in just one dud of a color: off-white. When it hit stores as a toy in the 1950s, red, blue, and yellow were added. These days, Play-Doh comes in nearly every color of the rainbow—more than 50 in total—but a consumer poll revealed that fans favorite colors are Rose Red, Purple Paradise, Garden Green, and Blue Lagoon.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you need the threat of hell to be a good person, then you're just a bad person on a leash.

Moonbeam: The five separate fingers are five independent units. Close them and the fist multiplies strength. This is organization. --James Cash Penney

Video of the Week: President Ford offering amnesty to draft dodgers (2:04) 9/16/74 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzB6sEvmkPg

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: We have lost Queen Elizabeth the second but long live King Charles the best we could do. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 9/10/22

Our country and the world have become the munificent patron of many powerful, existing evils, that have spread their devastating influence over the best interests of the human race. One of which is the adopting of the savage custom of wars, and fighting as a redress of grievances, instead of some means more consistent with reason and civilization. --William Whipper

Line dancers usually eat at Ihop. / My journalist friend Megan is an incredible dancer. She's able to follow even the most difficult lead.

..........I'm gonna tell everybody the news.........B B King …..My Guitar Sings The Blues

^^^ In 2017 Hasbro filed for federal protection in order to trademark the scent, which the company describes as “a unique scent formed through the combination of a sweet, slightly musky, vanilla-like fragrance, with slight overtones of cherry, and the natural smell of a salted, wheat-based dough.”

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Fun Fact: you can create your own Herschel Walker quotes by placing a Speak N Spell into a microwave. --Jay Black --Submitted by 98%

Weird Word of the Week: Ginglyform & ginglymoid – a hinge that allows movement in one plane only (as the knee or elbow) http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-gin1.htm

Dragon of the Week: Casa de los Dragones Ceuta, Africa

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Relieve a foot corn. Apply Aunt Jemima Original Syrup to the corn and wrap with gauze. The corn syrup softens the hardened skin. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html

The line dancer crossed the dance flower to get to the other Slide./ A bad dance lasts three minutes; a bad date lasts all evening.

...........Tell her to meet us Sunday down at the church.........B B King …..Don't Answer The Door

^^^^ When it was just a fledgling company with no advertising budget, inventor Joe McVicker talked his way in to visit Bob Keeshan, a.k.a. Captain Kangaroo aka Clarabell (Howdy Doody's friend). Although the company couldn’t pay the show outright, McVicker offered them 2% of Play-Doh sales for featuring the product once a week. Keeshan loved the compound and began featuring it three times weekly.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching Peppa Pig on repeat. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CaperCon 2022 (16-18, Sydney, Nova Scotia) Come Play!!!https://capercon.ca/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: INTERMEASURE Metrology Exhibition (14-16, Tokyo, Japan) Estimated turnout 30,120 visitors. https://10times.com/inter-measure

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Denmark, Spain (DE, NM, AR, KS, PA, IN)

Line Dancing –good for the soul but not the sole. / The dance floor at our prom was so fast we had an on ramp and a merge sign.

..........Well you talk about hard luck and trouble.........B B King …..Chains And Things

^^^^^ Since 1956, more than 3 billion cans of Play-Doh have been sold. That’s enough to reach the Moon and back a total of three times. (Not bad for a wallpaper cleaner.)

My Own Writing of the Week: I realized almost immediately that you can't talk about sex as prayer. For one thing no one wants to listen to some new age sermon while they are trying to get laid (or for that matter, while they are trying to read a juicy book written by a woman who really likes to get laid). Besides, being unable to speak about it forced me to take all of that metaphysical crap about sex and no-mind and to express it as actual sexual acts and acts of love and acts of joy. So when I run my tongue slowly up your spine it is my rosary.

Every rush dedicated to Aphrodite, every touch to Isis, every orgasm to Inanna.

And just in case there is someone out there that I have not yet offended, I name the energy of bodies surrendering in climax Holy Spirit. It is the exact same Holy Spirit that resides in the surrender of your heart to the oneness or the surrender of your life to serve others or your consciousness to sleep. From: Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution

Quote of the Week: Don't use the phone. People are never ready to answer it. Use poetry. --Jack Kerouac

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm pretty sure 40 years of civics classes taught by football coaches is what got us here. --Submitted by 98% ~~I had an excellent civics teacher. Stan Eitzen – not a football coach, but that was 61 years ago, not 40.

Today's Peace of History, September 16, 1974: A federal judge dismissed all charges against American Indian Movement (AIM) leaders Dennis Banks and Russell Means stemming from the 1973 occupation of Wounded Knee, South Dakota.

When you line dance on a cruise, are you an ocean liner? / Well, Merengue is certainly the fastest pie in the world.

..........My sister's down in New Orleans.........B B King …..Sweet Sixteen

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle September 16, 2022, Jitterbug ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: When people are smiling they are most receptive to almost anything you want to teach them. --Allen Funt

Cost of War:

• As of 9/15/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $187,762,738,417.
• As of 9/08/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $187,225,863,599.
• As of 9/15/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,083,544,133,321.
• As of 9/08/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,082,044,753,341.
• As of 9/15/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,115,656,005,222.
• As of 9/08/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,115,072,001,112.
• As of 9/15/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,638,802,313,473.
• As of 9/08/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,627,439,963,764.
• As of 9/15/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,982,375,864,972.
• As of 9/08/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,981,237,986,420.
• As of 9/15/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,008,138,390,250.
• As of 9/08/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7.993,024,553,762.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

If man’s superiority over the brute creation consists only in his reasoning powers and rationality of mind; his various methods of practicing violence towards his fellow creatures, has in many cases placed him on a level with, and sometimes below many species of the quadruped race. --William Whipper

Famous Last Words: No law, varying the compensation for the services of the Senators and Representatives, shall take effect, until an election of representatives shall have intervened. --US Constitution Amendment XXVII: proposed September 25, 1789 / ratified May 7, 1992.

..........All that I can do is wish you well.........B B King …..The Thrill Is Gone

How many line dance instructors does it take to change a light bulb? Five!...Six!...Seven!...Eight! / Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

May Peace map your road

And Joy smooth your way

prairie mama

christine

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