Koalatee ePistle

 Famous First Words: Parish, monster, at our hands. --The Three Ladies Mozart The Magic Flute

It's Save The Koala Day ! Kathy Koala is really cute, but she can be unbearable. / Kevin Koala said, “What do you mean I'm not a bear? I have all the koalifications.”

..........Then peace will guide the planets and love will rule the stars.........Marilyn McCoo …..Let The Sunshine In

There are causes worth dying for, but none worth killing for. --Albert Camus

It is a perfect Friday morning. The sky is a beautiful blue with only light streaks of jet trails and a couple of small, puffy white clouds. The temperature is 57°F with a very, very light wind that only moves the willow branches and shakes cottonwood leaves to see if it can send them to the ground to drain into shades of tan and buttermilk. The crows are in the neighborhood bouncing their conversation off the trees and housetops. Shadows flow over the street as they fly about. Other birds are holding other conversations and the air is filled with a cacophony of tweets and chirps. Our lack of rain is beginning to show; lawns are ragged and traces of brown are woven among the green grasses. Down the block a large dog in a neckerchief is barking at the squirrels in his tree and Puck wants to join in the “hunt”, but we return home instead. Home to the smell of brewing coffee. Home that sounds like television cartoons in the next room. Home where I can sit down at my computer, take long sips of sweetened, creamy coffee and write to you. See – perfect?

Hope your weekend is the bee's knees, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Congratulations! We've really become the people who tell younger folk, “I remember when all of this was just woods.”

Koral Koala ate all the eucalyptus because she couldn't leaf it alone. / I'm not short; I'm koala sized.

..........I know how it feels to have wings on your heels.........Deborah Kerr …..Hello, Young Lovers (The King and I)

Trivia Questions: So long, Howdy Doody! What do we know about the first ever televised American children's television show?

• ^ How often did Howdy Doody air – per week?
• ^^ What were Clarabell's only spoken words?
• ^^^ Can you name any other marionettes from the show?
• ^^^^ Chief Thunderthud was a member of what fictitious Indian tribe?
• ^^^^^ What was the princess' name?

Big Hello: Aluu – Greenlandic https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pretty sure I only need one more bad decision and I'll have the whole set. --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: I had a lovely picture of David Booth Memorial Stadium filled...filled up. But it had a prior copyright commitment, so here's a last minute replacement of Puck rolling on this back.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: At any given moment 27% of librarians are cursing to themselves. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

With parachute pants and aviator glasses, Kory looks so kool-ala. / What's small, furry and slightly purple? Kolma Koala holding her breath

..........Sunshine, Sunshine is all you see now.........Freddie King …..Same Old Blues

Moonbeam: Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. --Truman Capote

Meditation of the Week: Which is easier – to love or be loved?

Puzzle of the Week: ...challenge comes from listener Theodore Regan, of Scituate, MA. If you squish the lowercase letters "r" and "n" together, they look like an "m." Think of a word that ends in the consecutive letters "r-n." Squish them together to get a homophone of a synonym of the first word. What words are these? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 9/25/22

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: After a book was banned at my high school, I went directly to the public library and read it. It was the first time I realized books had the power to make parents completely lose their shit. It made me want to be a writer. --Jamie Ford

Kassandra Koala always predicted bad news. She was the bear of bad tidings./ Before he makes any appointments, he checks his koalander.

..........Why do birds sing so gay.........Frankie Lymon …..Why Do Fools Fall in Love

^ Howdy Doody was the first NBC show to air five days a week.

Almanac: It is Friday, September 30, 2022. The moon will be in the first quarter on Sunday (10/2) and is in Sagittarius. It is Blasphemy Day, International Translation Day, and National Mulled Cider Day. Because it is the last Friday, it is also Hug a Vegetarian Day, Save the Koala Day, Support Purple for Platelets Day, and Vegan Baking Day.

Among those born on this day were Robinson Crusoe (1627), Jean Perrin (1870), Kenny Baker (1912), Lester Maddox (1915), Deborah Kerr (1921), Truman Capote (1924), Elie Wiesel (1928), Angie Dickinson (1931), Freddie King (1934), Johnny Mathis (1935), Frankie Lymon (1942), Marilyn McCoo (1943), Rula Lenska (1947), Deborah Allen (1953), and Dave Magadan (1962).

On September thirtieth Guttenberg published his first book (Bible, 1452), The Magic Flute premiered (Vienna, 1791), the US claimed Midway Islands (1867), Bechuanaland became a British protectorate (1885), the city of New York was established (1898), the first manned rocket plane took flight (1929), Hoover Dam was dedicated (1934), Porgy and Bess premiered (1935), the first Congress of International Astronautical Federation opened (Paris, 1950), the first atomic-powered submarine was launched (1954), the last episode of Howdy Doody aired (1960), San Francisco's Palace of Fine Arts reopened (1967), the first automatic docking in took place in space (Kosmos 186 & 188, 1967), the summer Olympics opened in Seoul, South Korea (1981), and Haitian president, Jean-Bertand Aristide was ousted (1991).

Night Sky, 9/30: The waxing Moon hangs in the southwest as twilight fades to darkness. Use binoculars to look 10° below the Moon and perhaps a bit left for what will probably be your last sighting this year of the Cat's Eyes, the pair of stars in the tail of Scorpius. At this late date the Cat's Eyes are tilted even more than usual, with the fainter one lower right of the brighter one. They're 0.6° apart. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The Brotherhood of Pallet Pirates.

This Week: Saturday, October 1 – International Coffee Day & National Black Dog Day & National Play Outside Day

Sunday, October 2 – Audiophile Day & Name Your Car Day & National Custodial Workers Day

Night Sky, 10/2: The starry W of Cassiopeia stands high in the northeast after dark. The right-hand side of the W (the brightest side) is tilted way up. Look at the second segment of the W counting down from the top. Notice the dim naked-eye stars along that segment (not counting its two ends). The brightest of these, on the right, is Eta Cassiopeiae, magnitude 3.4. It's a remarkably Sun-like star just 19 light-years away, but it has an orange-dwarf companion, magnitude 7.3, separation 13 arcseconds — a lovely binary in a telescope. Left of Eta, and fainter, is a naked-eye pair in a dark sky: Upsilon1 and Upsilon2 Cassiopeiae, 0.3° apart. They're yellow-orange giants unrelated to each other, 200 and 400 light-years distant from us. Upsilon2 is slightly the brighter of the pair. It's also the closer one.

Monday, October 3 – Child Health Day & World Habitat Day

Tuesday, October 4 – Duck Tracy Day & National Taco Day & Vodka Day

Wednesday, October 5 – Coffee With A Cop Day & Get Funky Day & World Teachers Day

Night Sky, 10/5: Venus is getting almost unobservably low in very bright dawn. Mercury is on its way up to replacing it there.

Thursday, October 6 – National Badger Day & National Noodle Day & National Orange Wine Day

Kristopher Koala was in the church choir. He sings bearitone. / Kit Koala went on a diet and switched from eucalyptus to koalaflower.

..........I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree.........Johnny Mathis …..Misty

^^ Clarabell the Clown never spoke on camera until the very last episode. While large amounts of money were offered by advertisers to have him say the sponsor's name or product, all offers were refused. After the closing credits of the very last episode, a drumroll was played, and Clarabell, holding back tears, softly said, "Goodbye, kids."

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: At a weed store you can say “I want something to help me sleep that won't make me wonder if my back door is unlocked”. They will take you seriously, think hard about it, and then say something like, “Have you tried Ooga Booga Skywalker Cake?” --Submitted by MMS ~~This came as one sentence with 5 commas. I cleaned it up.

Moonbeam: Why would we have different races if God meant us to be alike and associate with each other? --Lester Maddox

Video of the Week: The Howdy Doody theme song (:33) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1USHuud5i8

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The Royal Flush - True of False: A British supermarket responded to the queen's death by closing for one entire month? False....they responded by solemnly turning down the volume of their check-out beep. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 9/24/22

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. --Albert Camus

Krystal Koala was waiting tables at Outback when she fell and dropped a whole tray of food. She was so embearassed. / Little known fact, Koalas settle legal matters in a kangaroo court.

..........A fleeting glance can say so many lovely things.........Johnny Mathis …..A Certain Smile

^^^ In addition to Howdy Doody, the cast of marionettes included: Flub-a-Dub, a creature made up of seven animals in one, whose favorite food was meatballs and spaghetti; Dilly Dally, a baseball-capped boy who could wiggle his ears; Mister Bluster, villainous mayor of Doodyville (the fictional location of the show); Inspector Fadoozle, forever peering through his magnifying glass, who billed himself as "America's number one private eye".

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous. Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet. --Submitted by jm or ks

Weird Word of the Week: Hooplehead – foolish, ridiculous, or worthless person. Likely from Major Hoople in the comic strip. Our Boarding House. http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-hoo3.htm

Dragon of the Week: In honor of the Sand Sculpting Competition, A Sand Dragon of Grand Haven, MI

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Cure hiccups. To put a stop to the hiccups, eat one tablespoon Aunt Jemima Original Syrup. The act of swallowing and clearing the mouth of this sticky syrup interrupts breathing patterns, realigning the diaphragm, and the fructose in the corn syrup seems to stop the nerve impulses in the mouth from instructing the muscles in the diaphragm to spasm. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html

Kory Koala threw a big party that got out of hand and the neighbors koalaed the cops. / Kadi got kicked off of the New Zealand Olympic team for cheating. She was diskoalafied.

...........Jungle drums were badly beating.........Johnny Mathis …..Babalu

^^^^ Chief Thunderthud was Chief of the Ooragnak tribe. "Ooragnak" is "kangaroo" spelled backwards.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If we can crash something into an asteroid to see what happens why can't we invest in housing everyone and see what happens? --L Joy Williams

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Capclave (9/30-10/2, Rockville MD) -Where reading is not extinct https://www.capclave.org/capclave/capclave22/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: K-INBRE (IdeA Network of Biomedical Research Excellence, 9/30, Oklahoma City, OK) ...science, technology, engineering, and math https://okinbre.ouhsc.edu/Conferences-and-Events

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Darn → Damn

Kaci's favorite drink is Pina Koala while Kacey's is Koala tea / I love you, Calyptus.

..........As far as I can see, this is heaven.........Johnny Mathis …..It's Not For Me To Say

^^^^^ Judy Tyler appeared as Princess Winterspring Summerfall. She later appeared as Peggy Van Alden In "Jailhouse Rock" with Elvis Presley.

My Own Writing of the Week: I love husbands, you have a little afternoon delight and then they go home and drive someone else crazy.

I really tried to avoid men with entanglements out of fairness to them and to women I may or may not have met. I have no reason to hurt any of them. Of course, in the 60s everyone was sleeping around because we were hippies. At least I think that was the excuse. (In the 20s the excuse was they were flappers and in the 40s there was war on.) We had four person marriages, open marriages, common law marriages, and communes. Free Love was the ideal.

I never cared for that scene, it seemed artificial. I found it easy to believe that somehow organically people could get together in a variety of combinations of numbers and genders; but I never experienced it. All of the ménage à trois I was involved with were well planned.

I picked up a guy in a bar one night; he was married. It was certainly a one-night stand and we both knew that at the time. But I did that bar bit only once - yuk!! The worst thing about picking up partners in bars is that you have to spend all that time in bars actually drinking.

Pooh Bear, my first husband, and I had a weekend with a couple who were into group sex - because no one really likes the word orgy. It was one of the low lights of my hippie years. {I am always flattered to be thought of as an old hippy. I'm older than that; I'm an aging beatnik.} But the male of this couple thought it was fun to put drugs in people's tea and not tell them. The weekend turned into a long, trippy nightmare, basically. Lots of back rubs...good, long, sensual back rubs and subconscious crap.

One of the Young Apollos really was living with a lady; they weren't married but they were pretty solidly together. Jeez, I do not remember having a single qualm. We played Dungeon and Dragons with a group of people and I do not remember now who started the flirting that led to the affair. We were certainly playing in the dirt and we both knew it. That was part of the appeal, the titillation. I suspect that he had other women too. And while being one of a crowd is not morally different from being the only one, it can save one from a little guilt if applied carefully.

My first Husband

Whenever I am in a conversation where someone says, “I'm a Libra.” I say, “My first husband was a Libra.” And I never elaborate.

We were married in 1965, just a few years before the summer of love. We had an "open" marriage. Which meant that we could sleep with anyone we wanted to. We then preceded to make sex so uninviting to each other that the option became the default. We did group sex, spouse swapping, side affairs.

Pooh Bear was a wonderful father. I had friends who dreaded leaving their children with their exes over a weekend. Afraid. Pooh Bear was a much better father than I was a mother. When our first was crawling and climbing and learning, Pooh would sit on the staircase while he studied with one hand on the kid's butt. He had that kind of patience. He wasn't the perfect father; but I was never worried about the children.

I have no anger over our sexual exploits during this marriage. We were looking for new ways to relate, new ways to run the world, ways that were more egalitarian and shared the pains and pleasures of life among us all. We were bright and both learned a lot. We both went on to have productive lives. It was an interesting first act.

For a while Pooh Bear worked as a zookeeper at Topeka's Gage Park and Colorado Springs' Cheyenne Mountain. On a couple of occasions I was there when it was feeding time in the Big Cat House. Everyone knew it was dinner time. The male lion was pacing the cage roaring, pacing over to the little interior window and growling at the staff, and the pacing and roaring. A crowd gathered. The female lion was lying on her shelf looking really, really bored. When dinner finally arrived as a huge plastic dishpan full of huge hunks of raw meat. The female got up walked, leisurely, over to the male tiger and whacked him on the ear with her paw. He then went to his shelf and mama ate. When I got to the other end of the building the male tiger was lying on his shelf looking really, really hungry. Enough said.

At some point in this mess I had a meeting with a friend of mine, perhaps acquaintance is a better adjective for what we were at that time. She and I knew each other from C.O.R.E. meetings. I don't know why we were together talking about this except that part of the hippie experience was to talk about stuff, endlessly. Weather underground talked endlessly about bourgeois privatism.

She and Pooh had slept together. She seemed kind of afraid of me. It felt dreadful and I never wanted anyone to be afraid of me, ever again (at least, until I had teenagers and dogs). I wasn't jealous and I didn't feel anger or anything like it. I'm not sure why. Perhaps, I didn't really love him even then or perhaps I realized that he was a free individual and didn't need my permission to live his life. There were moments when I would have paid a fortune for some woman to steal him away. That husband has been ex since 1971 but that lady was a wonderful and faithful friend till the day she died.

It was during a wife swap with another couple that I bedded the Unreadable Writer. All I remember of the encounter was that I was embarrassed and self-conscious and awkward. It seemed so artificial. I also have a vague sense that he was as incomprehensible as his novels.

On the other hand, when Pooh's second wife left him and drove halfway across the country to show up - unannounced - at my door one Saturday morning, she was apparently ready to sit down to "roast bear". Fortunately, a friend of mine was at my house when she showed up and did not leave my side until we had gotten rid of her. Whew! Eternally thankful to that friend. I was not and am not into beating up on old loves.

And in the end he moved away, first to the west coast and then to Africa. --From: Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution

Quote of the Week: Your proportions look funny especially when you're naked. --GQ Magazine. There is a boom in $75,000 leg lengthening surgery among men.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: So Ozzy is moving out of America to England because he thinks the USA is “getting too crazy”. Let that sink in. Ozzy Osbourne thinks America is too crazy. We are doomed. --Submitted by bgc of tx

Today's Peace of History, September 30, 2004: The U.S. Navy announced the shutdown of Project ELF.

Kyle Koala fell in love with Keira Koala because she was beary pretty. / Bear with me, I'll think of a pun in a minute.

..........In the magic moonlight when I sigh.........Johnny Mathis …..Chances Are

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle September 30, 2022, Koalatee ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing. --Elie Wiesel

Cost of War:

• As of 9/29/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $188,881,017,214.
• As of 9/22/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $188,322,818,349.
• As of 9/022/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,086,667,754,190.
• As of 9/22/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,085,108,696,224.
• As of 9/29/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,116,870,851,877.
• As of 9/22/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,116,264,547,311.
• As of 9/29/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,662,483,540,927.
• As of 9/22/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,650,665,333,871.
• As of 9/29/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,984,748,020,701.
• As of 9/22/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,983,564,318,311.
• As of 9/29/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,039,653,559,321.
• As of 9/22/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,023,930,283,965.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. --Albert Camus

Famous Last Words: 'Cause we're leavin' for the lan', Oh. Chorus Porgy and Bess

..........Saying good-bye.........Deborah Allen …..Baby, I Lied

Peace Keeper Kobin Koala fights for ekolatry. / Admit it, these were Koalaty puns.

May Peace attend your garden

And Joy mingle with your flowers

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: DART not only made history by crashing into an asteroid, but it also avenged the dinosaurs. --Bob DiPalol

fErny ePistle

 Famous First Words: a ănd căt răt --McGuffey's Eclectic Primer Lesson 1

It's National Indoor Plant Week (18-24) – I'm assuming these are what I call houseplants. I appreciate that the plants in the atrium of the Power & Light Building downtown are indoors, but I'm certainly not going to go talk to them. They'd lock me up. / Last week I got a cute little philodendron that I sat next to my big, old Begonia. But the philodendron keeps whispering “bloomer”.

.......... I don't know if you'll remember as well/Recuerdo que ganabas siempre tu .........Julio Iglesias …..Hey!

Why is a woman to be treated differently? Woman suffrage will succeed, despite this miserable guerrilla opposition. --Victoria Woodhull

It is a rainy Friday morning. The sky is a sheet of gray clouds that do not threaten storms, but solidly sprinkle light rain over the land. 58°F seems a little chilly compared to recent temperatures, but still only requires a light jacket. Lawns and other foliage raise their leaves in appreciation of the drink, but Puck, being made of sugar, is afraid of melting, and hurries us along. The world smells of rain and damp soil and wet pavement trying to be an autumn aroma. Pumpkin and Halloween decorations now grace front yards and add to the feel of fall. The local murder of crows are in the street drinking from the small puddles and doing whatever crows do and always discussing it among themselves. They add to the fall decoration. But we are home now, inside where it is warm and dry. I sit with freshly brewed decaf and a blueberry muffin while Puck sleeps under my bed, his dog cave. So, I raise my cup to you, ePistliers, and to your autumn, Hail.

Hope your weekend blooms like a rose, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes.

Some of my best fronds are houseplants. / Have you botany any new plants lately?

..........You never let me down before........Harry Connick Jr …...Just the Way Your Are

Trivia Questions: Happy Checkers Day aka Dogs in Politics Day. Can you name the president?

• ^ Who had two beagles named Him and Her?
• ^^ Who owned the poodle named Gaullie and the Welsh terrier named Charlie?
• ^^^ Which president owned Grits and Lewis Brown?
• ^^^^ Which president owned Bo and Sunny?
• ^^^^^ How many of the current pet residents of the white house can you name?

Big Hello: Ґєіά (Ya) – Modern Greek https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Bible and the Quran both tell us to love one another. The Kama Sutra is a little more specific. --Submitted by bc of tx

Image of the Week: Spiderman spotted leaving the Dillons at 6^th & Wakarusa.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 36% of librarians will lie about being a librarian if they think you’ll make a bunch of dumb Dewey decimal jokes https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Support Plant Parenthood! / I give my plant the perfect soil, fertilizer, temperature control, light, water, humidity. The best my plant can do in one new leaf.

..........or even be glad, just to be sad, thinking of you........Harry Connick Jr …..It Had to Be You

Moonbeam: If you want rainbow, you have to deal with the rain. --Octivian

Meditation of the Week: Where did right and wrong come from?

Puzzle of the Week: From listener Roy Holliday, of Nyack, N.Y. Name something, in eight letters, that you might hear at an opera. Drop three of the letters, without changing the order of the remaining five. You'll name something you might see at an opera. What things are these? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 9/18/22

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Maybe we'll just start sending busloads of banned books to Florida schools. --Submitted by 98%

I was perfectly normal three plants ago. / I've just made a couple of cuttings from my African Violets. I'm taking a leaf of faith.

..........Comes as sweet and clear as moonlight through the pines..........Ray Charles …..Georgia On My Mind

^ LBJ had Him and Her and another beagle named Edgar and a white collie named Blanco and a beagle named Freckles and a mongrel named Yuki. (also various hamsters and lovebirds)

Almanac: It is Friday, September 23, 2022. The moon will be new on Sunday (9/25) and is in Virgo. It is Celebrate Bi-Sexuality Day, Checkers Day (aka Dogs in Politics Day), Innergize Day, and Restless Legs Awareness Day. In Puerto Rico it is Grito de Lares Day (1868); in Saudi Arabia they celebrate Unification Day (1932) and in Wyoming it is Frontier Day. Because it is the 4^th Friday it is also American Indian Day (since 1916) and Love Note Day.

Among those born on this day were Euripides (484 BCE), Octavian (63 BCD), Ferdinand VI (1713), William McGuffey (1800), Victoria Woodhull (1838), Edgar Lee Masters (1869), John Lomax (1870), Walter Lippmann (1889), Mickey Rooney (1920), John Coltrane (1926), Ray Charles (1930), Julio Iglesias (1943), Loren J. Shriver (1944), Mary Kay Place (1947), Bruce Springsteen (1949), Patti Weaver (1955) and Harry Connick Jr. (1967).

On September twenty-third Harvard held its first commencement (1642), Lewis & Clark returned to St. Louis (1806), the first baseball team was organized (NY Knickerbockers, 1845), the Emancipation Proclamation was first published in newspapers (1962), Cheyene, WY held its first Frontier Days Rodeo (1897), the University of Alberta opened (1908), the first Keystone Comedy was released (1912), the Kingdom of Hejaz & Nejd became Saudi Arabia (1932), Richard Nixon made his "Checkers" speech (1952), a new largest known prime was discovered (2^132,049-1, 1973),

Cheryl Ladd replaced Farrah Fawcett on Charlie's Angels (1977), and Sparky Anderson became the first manager to win 100 games in both leagues (1984).

Night Sky, 9/23: To mark the summer-to-fall transition every year, Deneb takes over from brighter Vega as the major star nearest the zenith after nightfall (for skywatchers at mid-northern latitudes). Arcturus shines ever lower in the west-northwest after dark. The narrow kite shape of its constellation, Bootes, extends two fists at arm's length to Arcturus's upper right; Arcturus is where the kite's downward-hanging tail is tied on. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: The brotherhood of the hammock

This Week: Saturday, September 24- Fish Amnesty Day & International Lace Day & Punctuation Day

Sunday, September 25 – International Day of the Deaf & World Lung Day & Rosh Hashanah

Night Sky, 9/25: This is the time of year when, during the evening, the dim Little Dipper "dumps water" into the bowl of the Big Dipper way down below. The Big Dipper will dump it back in the evenings of spring.

Monday, September 26 – Johnny Appleseed Day & World Contraception Day & Family Day

Tuesday, September 27 – Ancestor Appreciation Day & National Scarf Day & World Tourism Day

Wednesday, September 28 – Confucius Day & National Drink Beer Day & National Good Neighbor Day

Night Sky, 9/28: Jupiter comes to opposition next week. At a bright magnitude –2.9, you can spot it very low due east as twilight fades. It dominates the east after dark, then the higher southeast, shining in otherwise bland Pisces. Jupiter stands highest in the south around 1 am daylight-saving time.

Thursday, September 29 – National Coffee Day & VFW Day & Michaelmas

I grow a few herbs in my kitchen window. It's easy to remember to water them. But when I came back from vacation, I found this note: Long thyme, no see. / I don't have houseplants, I have Emotional Support Plants

..........No more, no more, no more, no more.........Ray Charles …..Hit the Road Jack

^^ JFK had Gaullie, a standard poodle, & Caroline had Charlie, a Welsh Terrier. Camelot also had a cat, 3 birds, ducks (unnumbered), 3 ponies and a Doberman Pinscher named Moe, 2 hamsters, a dog gifted by Khrushchev named Pushinka (it was the offspring of the Soviet space dog, Strelka) and a cocker spaniel named Shannon, and wolfhound and Schnauzer mix named Wolf and a German shepherd named Clipper and 5 of Pushinka & Charlie's puppies, a rabbit, and a horse.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Every c in the name Pacific Ocean is pronounced differently. --Submitted by nh of ks

Moonbeam: The tongue may be an unruly member—but silence poisons the soul. --Edgar Lee Masters

Video of the Week: Happy Frontier Day, Wyoming. Here's some Wyoming Highlights (2:45) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgyTw9fkLX4

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Charles III: All his hard preparation, the difficult work he put in to assume the throne...doing everything from being born to staying alive. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 9/17/22

I shall not change my course because those who assume to be better than I desire it. --Victoria Woodhull

I like houseplants but my sister refused to visit me without a pith helmet and a machete / Life would succ without my Aloe Vera.

..........Well, I know that the boogaloo is outta sight.........Ray Charles …..Shake Your Tailfeather

^^^ Jimmy Carter had Grits the Border collie and Lewis Brown an afghan hound. Amy had a Siamese cat named Misty Malarky Ying Yang.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Vaginas brought you into this world and vaginas will vote you out!

Weird Word of the Week: Autolatry – the worship of oneself. ~~An example: I will be reading from my unpublished memoir An Act Surprising: My night as a February Sister tonight (9/23) at Watkins Museum of History at 11^th & Massachusetts, Lawrence KS Also on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/WatkinsMuseum

Dragon of the Week: Temple Bar Memorial Dragon – London

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Soothe a hangover. To help relieve a hangover, eat two tablespoons of Aunt Jemima Original Syrup. The fructose in the corn syrup raises blood sugar depleted by alcohol. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html

I have several cacti. They always look sharp. / My cousin loves those African flowers. She has a violet streak.

...........sprung from cages on Highway 9.........Bruce Springsteen …..Born to Run

^^^^ Obama (or perhaps the girls) had Bo and Sunny both are Portuguese Water Dogs.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Panera makes fast food for people who think they are too good to eat fast food.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: SpaCon 2022 (23-25, Hot Springs, AR) Get your personal geek on. https://spa-con.org/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Madison International Symposium (21-23, Madison, WI) Emerging Therapies at the Intersection of Genetic and Cellular Technologies https://www.isscr.org/upcoming-programs/madison-international-symposium

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Baritone --> Baton

My Bamboo plant grew up and is now in college studying STEM. / My pygmy date tree is so nervous we call it sweaty palm.

..........Like a river that don't know where it's flowing..........Bruce Springsteen …..Hungry Heart

^^^^^The Bidens own Champ, a German Shepherd, and Major, a German Shepherd rescue, and Commander, a German Shepherd given to him by his brother, and Willow, a gray tabby cat.

My Own Writing of the Week: I once nearly had a raven haired Apollo who was a prolific writer. Matter of fact, he still writes a lot. He was and probably still is very tall and very spare. His arms and hands naturally lodged in places no ordinary person could reach. I certainly noticed that he was tall, but I didn't realize what that meant until I read a short story of his and a character in the story sat on a sofa and reached up and around and picked up something or moved it. I realized that I could sit on a sofa and would have to get up and lean over the back in order to reach the item in question. I began to look for these kinds of clues about the author in everything I read.

He was given to over-thinking, perhaps a side effect of his PhD (or maybe the PhD was a side effect of his over-thinking). He had attended a Friday tea dance at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Kansas City the week before the one where the balcony fell down and killed 114 people. He obsessed about it at great depth and length. It is the sort of coincidence that meant so little to me. All life is a set of coincidences, this sperm not that one and there is no raven-haired Apollo to mope around about coincidence.

He wrote short stories with skill and imagination. He could write humor that was actually funny. Several better known and more respected science fiction writers aren't able to do that. He had published stories when I met him and I collected them into a notebook, which I may still have. The books and stories he has written since I moved on have been fun and worth the time and the price, every one that I've read.

Once, in his hearing I criticized the book of another author as being 50 pages too long. The reader figures out what the protagonist is going to do but it takes 50 pages before she actually goes and does it. He said that was a scathing review. I was actually fairly forgiving of the 50 pages because it was a young writer who thought she had to tell ALL of the story. She'd learn. The extra pages weren't badly written, they were just extra. The same criticism can be said for Anne Rice's Cry to Heaven, only it was many more pages and most certainly the writing on those extra pages is way better than whatever sword and sorcery the young author was writing. The raven-haired Apollo's fiction is lean and spare like his body.

He is now a professor back east somewhere. But his stories don't sound like he's a professor of English. (And that is the opposite of a scathing review). I've read too many stories that sound like they were written by English Professors. And the ones that sound like they are written by math professors are even worse. --From: Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution

Quote of the Week: The closer the collapse of an empire, the crazier its laws. --Cicero

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Of course I've decorated for fall. I've covered my yard with brightly colored leaves.

Today's Peace of History, September 23, 1979: 200,000 attended an anti-nuclear rally in New York City’s Battery Park. It was the largest political protest of the late '70s in the US, six months after the partial meltdown of the nuclear reactor at Three Mile Island, Pennsylvania.

I'm only getting one new houseplant...a week. / I'm starting a daily blog about my houseplants. It's called A Day In The Leaf.

..........I've got nowhere to run and nowhere to go..........Bruce Springsteen …Born in the USA

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle September 16, 2022, Ferny ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: It requires wisdom to understand wisdom; the music is nothing if the audience is deaf. --Walter Lippmann

• Cost of War:
• As of 9/22/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $188,322,818,349.
• As of 9/15/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $187,762,738,417.
• As of 9/022/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,085,108,696,224.
• As of 9/15/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,083,544,133,321.
• As of 9/22/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,116,264,547,311.
• As of 9/15/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,115,656,005,222.
• As of 9/22/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $23,650,665,333,871.
• As of 9/15/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,638,802,313,473.
• As of 9/22/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,983,564,318,311.
• As of 9/15/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,982,375,864,972.
• As of 9/22/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,023,930,283,965.
• As of 9/15/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,008,138,390,250.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

I am a free lover. I have an inalienable, constitutional, and natural right to love whom I may, to love as long or short a period as I can; to change that love every day if I please. --Victoria Woodhull

Famous Last Words: This is how this story has ended.(Chorus) --Euripides Medea

..........Now I just act like I don't remember..........Bruce Springsteen ..…The River

When I'm having a hard day with my plants I just Green and bury it. / I started taking care of houseplants to help me cut down to two cats. Now, the entire spare bedroom has been taken over by catnip.

May Peace give you calm

And Joy present you serenity

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Jitterbug ePistle

 Famous First Words: There is nothing wrong with your television set... Opening sequence of Outer Limits

Happy Line Dance Week!! (12-17) Actually, I went line dancing last night. It was really a roadside sobriety test, but it amounted to the same thing. / It's also National Ballroom Dance Week (16-25) There are only two things keeping me from being a good dancer. My feet

..........or Sammy Davis Junior.........B B King …..My Lucille

. . .fatal error arises from the belief that the only method of maintaining peace is always to be ready for war. --William Whipper All of today's peace quotes are from Mr Whipper's: An Address on Non-Resistance to Offensive Aggression. Published on September 16 1837

It is a terrific (66°F) Friday morning. The sky is filled with clouds – banks of them and wisps and piles. Some are moving slowly to the northeast. Some seem absolutely still. A rising sun peeks in and out like a game of cosmic peekaboo. There is a breeze that shakes the tops of the cottonwoods and makes them sing (or giggle) as matins for the morning. Birds accompany this song of daybreak greeting. Puck and I as we walk down the block listening to the trees and birds and the people on their way to work or school. The world is dry; lawns and gardens are still green, but leaves are beginning to cover the grass and dry earth is what we smell at the edge of the defunct mosquito farm. We return home to the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and a phone call from Kirsten (my daughter and grandmother to Max and Ollie, who are still in Washington) who is in Lawrence from Seattle this weekend. How very pleasant and now I get to inhale creamy steamy coffee fumes and write to you. Can't get much better.

Hope your weekend takes the cake, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why do our cars have to be roadworthy but the roads are not car worthy. --Submitted by PsyDe

The only line dancing I've ever done is while waiting for an empty restroom at Woodstock. / I hate it when you're at a dance and someone just waltzes up to you when clearly they're playing a tango.

..........If you want to have a ball.........B B King …..Let The Good Times Roll

Trivia Questions: It's Play-Doh Day !

• ^ What was play-doh's very first purpose in life?
• ^^ What colors does play-doh come in?
• ^^^ Hasbro trademarked the scent of Play-Doh. How would you describe it?
• ^^^^ What does Captain Kangaroo have to do with Play-Doh?
• ^^^^^ Would you care to guess how many cans of play-doh have been sold since 1956?

Big Hello: Xαĩpε (Khaire) Ancient Greek https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Roughly every 6 days in the world, a country celebrates the anniversary of its independence from Britain. It's the most widely celebrated holiday in the world. --Submitted by ns of ks

Image of the Week: Veronica the bird watcher

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 50% of librarians can agree that the library is too cold. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

My high school reunion was a dud; I joined the line dance but it turned out to be a big punch line. / My new hip replacement comes with a remote control. Now I can dance any dance in the world.

..........As the music played I saw my life turn around.........B B King …..When Love Came To Town

Moonbeam: The growth of New England was a result of the aggregate efforts of a busy multitude, each in his narrow circle toiling for himself, to gather competence or wealth. The expansion of New France was the achievement of a gigantic ambition striving to grasp a continent. It was a vain attempt. --Francis Parkman

Meditation of the Week: Is true beauty objective or subjective?

Puzzle of the Week: This week's challenge comes from listener Michael Penn, of Durham, N.C. Name two countries, with a total of 12 letters, that when spelled one after the other form six consecutive state postal abbreviations.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't really tan these days; I just turn a darker shade of gray. --Submitted by FNOG

When 2 line dancers are jigging out to Shoot the Rooster, they're called a pair a shoot. / When do people learn to dance? Why did I not get that chance? If you think we all dance naturally...Then you've obviously never danced with me.

..........And I can't be satisfied.........B B King …..Three O'clock Blues

^ Before kids were playing with Play-Doh, their parents were using it to remove soot and dirt from their wall coverings by simply rolling the wad of goop across the surface.

Almanac: It is Friday, September 16, 2022. The moon will be in the last quarter tomorrow (9/17). The United Nations has declared this International Day for the Preservation of the Ozone Layer. It is also Anne Dudley Bradstreet Day, Clean Up the World Weekend (16-18), Constitution Day, Pledge Across America, Mayflower Day, National Tattoo Story Day, National POW/MIA Recognition Day, National Tradesmen Day, Play-doh Day, Stay Away from Seattle Day, and Trail of Tears Commemoration Day. In Malaysia and Singapore it is Independence Day (1963).

Among those born on this day were Henry V (1387), Louis XIV (1638), Francis Parkman (1823), JC Penney (1875), James J. Jeans (1877), Allen Funt (1914), Bess Myerson (1924), B B King (1925), Robert Schuller (1926), Peter Falk (1927), Ed Begley Jr (1949), and Jennifer Tilly (1958).

On September sixteenth the great seal of the US was first used (1782), the typesetting machine was patented (1857), Oklahoma opened the Cherokee Strip to white settlement (1893), General Motors was founded (1908), the American Legion was incorporated (1919), Sam Rayburn was elected speaker of the House (1940), Outer Limits premiered on TV (1963), Ford announced amnesty of Vietnam war "deserters" (1974), the BART began regular transbay service (1974), Papua New Guinea gained its independence (1975), and the Episcopal church approved ordination of women (1976).

Night Sky, 9/16: Now the late-rising Moon shines in line with Mars and Aldebaran to its right. The Moon and Mars are about 4° or 5° apart as seen from the longitudes of the Americas. But this is still the closest pairing of the Moon and a bright planet visible in September from this part of the world. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: It's the brothers, alright, but I have no idea where they are (the race track? Miner's Pier? The basement of the Space Needle?)

This Week: Saturday, September 17 – Batman Day & Citizenship Day & National Clean Up Day

Sunday, September 18 - International Equal Pay Day & National Respect Day & Wife Appreciation Day

Night Sky, 9/18: The Great Square of Pegasus is climbing the eastern sky. Look for it above bright Jupiter and maybe a bit left. It's balancing on one corner, as it always does when we see it in either the east or the west. Only when the Great Square is very high and more or less south does it sit level like a box.

Monday, September 19 – Respect for the Aged Day & Talk Like A Pirate Day

Tuesday, September 20 – National Care for Kids Day & National Voter Registration Day

Wednesday, September 21 – International Day of Peace & National Dance Day

Night Sky, 9/21: Neptune is in opposition. It's magnitude 7.8 in eastern Aquarius. Equally bright (or faint) this week is the asteroid 3 Juno about 10° to Neptune's west. Using a telescope or large binoculars, find them both in late evening

Thursday, September 22 – Elephant Appreciation Day & Hobbit Day & Remember Me Thursday

I had a one-legged girl friend who loved to line dance. Her name was Eilean. / Kansas City's debutante affair (The Crystal Ball) was usually held at the art gallery. Because it was big enough to hold a cotillion of 'em.

..........Like my back ain't got no bone.........B B King …..Rock Me Baby

^^ Back when it was still a household product, Play-Doh came in just one dud of a color: off-white. When it hit stores as a toy in the 1950s, red, blue, and yellow were added. These days, Play-Doh comes in nearly every color of the rainbow—more than 50 in total—but a consumer poll revealed that fans favorite colors are Rose Red, Purple Paradise, Garden Green, and Blue Lagoon.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you need the threat of hell to be a good person, then you're just a bad person on a leash.

Moonbeam: The five separate fingers are five independent units. Close them and the fist multiplies strength. This is organization. --James Cash Penney

Video of the Week: President Ford offering amnesty to draft dodgers (2:04) 9/16/74 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzB6sEvmkPg

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: We have lost Queen Elizabeth the second but long live King Charles the best we could do. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 9/10/22

Our country and the world have become the munificent patron of many powerful, existing evils, that have spread their devastating influence over the best interests of the human race. One of which is the adopting of the savage custom of wars, and fighting as a redress of grievances, instead of some means more consistent with reason and civilization. --William Whipper

Line dancers usually eat at Ihop. / My journalist friend Megan is an incredible dancer. She's able to follow even the most difficult lead.

..........I'm gonna tell everybody the news.........B B King …..My Guitar Sings The Blues

^^^ In 2017 Hasbro filed for federal protection in order to trademark the scent, which the company describes as “a unique scent formed through the combination of a sweet, slightly musky, vanilla-like fragrance, with slight overtones of cherry, and the natural smell of a salted, wheat-based dough.”

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Fun Fact: you can create your own Herschel Walker quotes by placing a Speak N Spell into a microwave. --Jay Black --Submitted by 98%

Weird Word of the Week: Ginglyform & ginglymoid – a hinge that allows movement in one plane only (as the knee or elbow) http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-gin1.htm

Dragon of the Week: Casa de los Dragones Ceuta, Africa

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Relieve a foot corn. Apply Aunt Jemima Original Syrup to the corn and wrap with gauze. The corn syrup softens the hardened skin. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html

The line dancer crossed the dance flower to get to the other Slide./ A bad dance lasts three minutes; a bad date lasts all evening.

...........Tell her to meet us Sunday down at the church.........B B King …..Don't Answer The Door

^^^^ When it was just a fledgling company with no advertising budget, inventor Joe McVicker talked his way in to visit Bob Keeshan, a.k.a. Captain Kangaroo aka Clarabell (Howdy Doody's friend). Although the company couldn’t pay the show outright, McVicker offered them 2% of Play-Doh sales for featuring the product once a week. Keeshan loved the compound and began featuring it three times weekly.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching Peppa Pig on repeat. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CaperCon 2022 (16-18, Sydney, Nova Scotia) Come Play!!!https://capercon.ca/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: INTERMEASURE Metrology Exhibition (14-16, Tokyo, Japan) Estimated turnout 30,120 visitors. https://10times.com/inter-measure

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Denmark, Spain (DE, NM, AR, KS, PA, IN)

Line Dancing –good for the soul but not the sole. / The dance floor at our prom was so fast we had an on ramp and a merge sign.

..........Well you talk about hard luck and trouble.........B B King …..Chains And Things

^^^^^ Since 1956, more than 3 billion cans of Play-Doh have been sold. That’s enough to reach the Moon and back a total of three times. (Not bad for a wallpaper cleaner.)

My Own Writing of the Week: I realized almost immediately that you can't talk about sex as prayer. For one thing no one wants to listen to some new age sermon while they are trying to get laid (or for that matter, while they are trying to read a juicy book written by a woman who really likes to get laid). Besides, being unable to speak about it forced me to take all of that metaphysical crap about sex and no-mind and to express it as actual sexual acts and acts of love and acts of joy. So when I run my tongue slowly up your spine it is my rosary.

Every rush dedicated to Aphrodite, every touch to Isis, every orgasm to Inanna.

And just in case there is someone out there that I have not yet offended, I name the energy of bodies surrendering in climax Holy Spirit. It is the exact same Holy Spirit that resides in the surrender of your heart to the oneness or the surrender of your life to serve others or your consciousness to sleep. From: Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution

Quote of the Week: Don't use the phone. People are never ready to answer it. Use poetry. --Jack Kerouac

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm pretty sure 40 years of civics classes taught by football coaches is what got us here. --Submitted by 98% ~~I had an excellent civics teacher. Stan Eitzen – not a football coach, but that was 61 years ago, not 40.

Today's Peace of History, September 16, 1974: A federal judge dismissed all charges against American Indian Movement (AIM) leaders Dennis Banks and Russell Means stemming from the 1973 occupation of Wounded Knee, South Dakota.

When you line dance on a cruise, are you an ocean liner? / Well, Merengue is certainly the fastest pie in the world.

..........My sister's down in New Orleans.........B B King …..Sweet Sixteen

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle September 16, 2022, Jitterbug ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: When people are smiling they are most receptive to almost anything you want to teach them. --Allen Funt

Cost of War:

• As of 9/15/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $187,762,738,417.
• As of 9/08/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $187,225,863,599.
• As of 9/15/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,083,544,133,321.
• As of 9/08/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,082,044,753,341.
• As of 9/15/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,115,656,005,222.
• As of 9/08/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,115,072,001,112.
• As of 9/15/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,638,802,313,473.
• As of 9/08/22 Veterans Care since 2001: $2,627,439,963,764.
• As of 9/15/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,982,375,864,972.
• As of 9/08/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,981,237,986,420.
• As of 9/15/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $8,008,138,390,250.
• As of 9/08/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7.993,024,553,762.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

If man’s superiority over the brute creation consists only in his reasoning powers and rationality of mind; his various methods of practicing violence towards his fellow creatures, has in many cases placed him on a level with, and sometimes below many species of the quadruped race. --William Whipper

Famous Last Words: No law, varying the compensation for the services of the Senators and Representatives, shall take effect, until an election of representatives shall have intervened. --US Constitution Amendment XXVII: proposed September 25, 1789 / ratified May 7, 1992.

..........All that I can do is wish you well.........B B King …..The Thrill Is Gone

How many line dance instructors does it take to change a light bulb? Five!...Six!...Seven!...Eight! / Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

May Peace map your road

And Joy smooth your way

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: