Famous First Words: Now, Annie, if these people who are coming... The Very First Little Orphan Annie Comic Strip
Happy Birthday to Richard Kleindienst, in Watergate up to his nose. Can we rework the jokes? Did you hear about the new Watergate watch? Both hands always point towards Nixon. / There's a new Insurrection Compass, the needle always points toward Trump.
..........A land of bluebirds and fountains........ …..The Four Coins …..Shangri La ~~ # 10 American Bandstand's Top Ten List for 8/5/57 ~~The list gave out in the middle of the tenth song – I'm not sure this is the right one.
The bomb was not only dropped on the citizens of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, it was dropped on the whole humanity. --Satoru Konishi
It is a muggy Friday morning. Relative humidity (78%) is so oppressive that the outside of the kitchen window and the patio doors are coated with water – as if the earth is in the shower. There is not a cloud in the sky – so the moisture isn't trying to rise and float somewhere else. Of course, plants love it; trees are waving in the light wind and grass and flowers are green and happy looking. Puck and I walk in the shade barking “good morning” to neighbors who are going to work or wherever. A local murder of crows flies over and says “good morning” in their own way. Birdsong is everywhere. It's carried by the breeze and echoed from the rooftops. It makes for a merry walk. The humidity also adds to the smell of dampness, of the garden, of summer. We return to the house where Puck takes his morning nap under the bed (I think he thinks he's hiding from the cats.) and I am fixing and drinking a freshly brewed cup of decaf creamed up and sweetened. A perfect morning so far, made better by the fact that I now get to sit and write to you.
Have a great weekend, ePistliers, but try to stay out of jail, okay?
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Texas kids read prohibited books at “Banned Camp”.
McGovern (running against Nixon) knew something suspicious was going on when he picked up a grapefruit and got a dial tone. --Mark Russell / Oops, no dial tones anymore. I'll recycle an old civil rights joke instead. Hilary knew something was up when her phone bill got up to $105,000 and the service wasn't cut off.
..........And make believe it came from you........Billy Williams …..I'm Gonna Sit Right Down And Write Myself A Letter ~~# 9
Trivia Questions: Happy National Underwear Day !
- ^ You know who loved underwear, the Egyptians. Within 20, how many pairs of underwear were buried with Tutankhamen?
- ^^ What country has the most Victoria's Secret models?
- ^^^ On average, how many pairs of panties does the American woman own?
- ^^^^ What is the world record number of underwear worn at one time by one man?
- ^^^^^ Which underwear fashion was introduced by Marie Antoinette long before Madonna came along?
Big Hello: Moin – Frisian (North – Mooring) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'd make a swear jar but I don't have the kind of income to keep up with my mouth. --Submitted by NS
Image of the Week: Kentucky Noah's Ark sues insurance company over damages caused by heavy rains. --cbsnews --Submitted by 98%
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Year over year, the number of haunted library books is down to only 16%. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
My fellow Americans. There is a bright side to Watergate. (David Frye playing Nixon) My administration has taken crime out of the streets and put it in the White House, where I can keep an eye on it. / Trump: You won't believe it. I found this closet behind the television in the private dining room and it was full of Nixon's old legal defense strategies.
..........A-morin', noon and night in the early bright.........Nat King Coke …..Send For Me --#8
Moonbeam: I have no patience with anyone born after World War II. You have to explain everything to these people. --Selma Diamond
Meditation of the Week: Can you really experience anything objectively? --Plato
Puzzle of the Week: This challenge comes from listener Peter Collins, of Ann Arbor, MI. Think of two famous people — one from business and one from entertainment — whose last names are anagrams of each other. Now take their first names, drop the last letter of each of them, and put the result together, without rearranging, and you'll get the full first name of a famous fictional character. Who are these people? NPR Sunday Puzzle 7/9/22
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We are a society that keeps trying to solve homelessness with everything other than homes. It's like believing that food doesn't solve hunger. --Dyjuan Tatro --Submitted by 98%
Week of the Week: International Clown Week (1-7) --If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my date is that a romantic jester? / My grandfather was a clown and my grandmother used to boil up all his used red noses. She stewed them down to a laughing stock.
You heard about all those prayers Nixon was saying late in his presidency? They all began, “My fellow God”. / Trump: Nobody has done more for Christianity or for evangelicals or for religion itself than I have. ~~No joke, actual quote
..........You are perfection..........Jimmy Dorsey …..So Rare --#7
^ King Tutankhamen was buried with 145 pairs of underwear.
Almanac: It is Friday, August 5, 2022. The moon will be in the first quarter today at 6:06 am; it is in Scorpio. It is National Oyster Day and National Underwear Day. Worldwide it is Test Ban Day (Int'l Physicians for Prevention of Nuclear War). Because it is the first Friday it is also Braham Pie Day or Homemade Pie Day, International Beer Day, and Tomboy Tools Day. Because it is the first weekend it is Twins Weekend.
Among those born on this day were John Eliot (1604), William (first black child born in the English New World, 1624), Thomas Lynch (1749), Guy de Maupassant (1850), Mary R. Beard (1876), Conrad Aiken (1899), John Huston (1906), Selma Diamond (1920), Richard Kleindienst (1923), Neil Armstrong (1930), John Saxon (1935), Loni Anderson (1944), Rick Derringer (1947), and Kevin Thomas Riley (2180).
On August fifth Gilbert claimed Newfoundland (1583), the first Spanish ship entered SF Bay (1775), the first transatlantic telegraph cable was completed (1858), US Army abolished flogging (1861), the US levied the first income tax (3% of incomes over $800, 1864), the cornerstone was laid for the Statue of Liberty (1884), the first traffic light was installed (Cleveland, 1914), the first radio broadcast of a baseball game (Pirates-8, Phillies-0, 1921), Little Orphan Annie debuted (1924), American Bandstand premiered (1957), the first quasar was located by radio (1962), Mel Brooks married Anne Bancroft (1964), Mariner 7 flew past Mars (1969), the USSR launched Mars6 (1973), and Reagan fired 11,500 air traffic controllers (1981).
Night Sky, 8/5: After dark the Moon shines in central Libra. Delta Scorpii and then brighter Antares are to its left, Spica is farther to its lower right, and Arcturus shines even farther to the Moon's upper right. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Tub of brothers
This Week: Saturday, August 6 – Hiroshima Day https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W56XuczDDBI
Sunday, August 7 – Friendship Day & Lighthouse Day & Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day
Night Sky, 8/7: Mercury is very low in the glow of sunset. About 30 minutes after sunset, try scanning for it with binoculars just above the horizon a little to the right of due west (one or two fists at arm's length). Good luck. At least Mercury is pretty bright: roughly magnitude –0.5 all week.
Monday, August 8 – Dalek Day & Happiness Happens Day & Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night
Tuesday, August 9 – Book Lovers Day & International Day of the World's Indigenous People
Wednesday, August 10 – World Lion Day & Paul Bunyan Day & Smithsonian Day
Thursday, August 11 – Global Kinetic Sand Day & National Hip Hop Day
Night Sky, 8/11: Perseids Meteor Shower up to 100/hour. The Perseids may not be able to put on their usual dazzling show as the full moon will upstage and outshine fainter meteors. https://www.space.com/32868-perseid-meteor-shower-guide.html
There was a board game called “The Watergate Game” in which the object was to stay out of jail. / Insurrection Hearings Drinking Game: Each player chooses one of the words from the following list: Insurrection / Sedition / Attack / Assault / Riot – One gulp whenever it is used.
..........My heart beats so joyfully...........Debbie Reynolds …..Tammy --#6
^^ Brazil has produced the most Victoria's Secret models.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: 70% of the Earth is water and virtually none of it is carbonated. So the Earth is, in fact, Flat --Submitted by jm
Moonbeam: I love you, what star do you live on? --Conrad Aiken
Video of the Week: Nichelle Nichols recounts how Martin Luther King, Jr talked her into staying on Star Trek (1:41) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OezJh1vnRKg
Tiny Adventure of the Week: There must be a name for those questions that get around on facebook and ask things like What a single line of dialogue that would make us all recognize the movie... Those questions... Well, one came down about songs that only exist in fiction but not in our reality. I feel like there are dwarf songs quoted in Tolkien when I searched it all I got was soundtracks for the movies. But my favorite literary song is from Terry Pratchett, so I searched The Drunken Hedgehog but the name of the song is actually The Hedgehog Song – An abbreviation of the whole title: The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All. When I got back to facebook the question was gone and I didn't have any idea how to get it back. But it was a neat question.
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: In fairness, it is tough for Manchin; keep in mind he is the senator from South Carolina whose chief export is climate change. --Tom Papa Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 7/29/22
I shall write peace upon your wings, and you shall fly around the world so that children will no longer have to die this way. --Tahima Yusuke
The Watergate Cookbook featured recipes using lots of leeks. (Vichyssoise – start with a bunch of leaks). / Insurrection Cookbook: Double cheese burger with Processed American Cheese and mayonnaise served with ketchup on the wall. / Lunch Special: White Bread + Bologna + Russian Dressing + a Small Pickle
..........One day while I was visit'n at Heartbreak Hotel.........Larry Williams …..Short Fat Fannie --#5
^^^ The average American woman owns 21 pairs of underwear.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How to Survive Mercury Retrograde: 1. Stop believing in astrology, --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief
Weird Word of the Week: Alamagoozlum – maple syrup (no kidding) http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-ala1.htm
Dragon Picture of the Week: This is from the Casa Bruno Cusdros in Barcelona
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make a Maple Yogurt Smoothie. In a blender, combine one cup ice cubes, one cup plain yogurt, one-half cup low-fat milk, one-third cup Aunt Jemima Original Syrup, and one peeled banana. Cover and blend on high speed until smooth and thick. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html
The Rev Billy Graham's daily Bible readings at the White House went from Revelations to Exodus. There were bumper stickers saying “Jail to the Chief” and “Honk If you think he's guilty”. / Russia should run a Putin/Trump campaign.
...........gonna find her.........The Coasters …..Searchin' --#4
^^^^ In 2010 Jack Singer wore 215 pairs of briefs and boxers.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: To best understand Republicans, you have to realize that Jesus is just the team mascot. He's not the coach. --Submitted by sb of ar
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Armadillocon 2022 (5-7, Austin, TX) Come meet the best in Science Fiction https://armadillocon.org/d44/
Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I stay a bit overweight because it wouldn't be fair to all the skinny people if I was attractive, intelligent, funny, AND thin. It's a public service, really.
Actual Science Conference of the Week: Symmetry, Invariants, and Their Applications (3-5, Halifax, NS) : A Celebration of Peter Oliver's 70th Birthday https://aarms.math.ca/event/symmetry-invariants-and-their-applications-a-celebration-of-peter-olvers-70th-birthday/
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Bill GATES + Bob SAGET --> BILBO Baggins
Nixon's secretary Rose Mary Woods “accidentally” erased part of the white house tapes. “Let me put it this way, would you believe Moses if he had come down with the Eight Commandments?” --Johnny Carson / “He did not call them from a box. He did not call while watching Fox. He did not help out Uncle Sam. His brain is made of eggs and ham. But, in his defense, it is possible he forgot the number for 9-1-1.” --Stephen Colbert
..........Hello loneliness, I think I'm gonna cry.........Everly Brothers …..Bye Bye Love --#3
^^^^^ Marie Antoinette's chemise was the first known instance of underwear worn as outerwear.
My Own Writing of the Week: As soon as she saw her mother's reaction, Persephone knew she should have discussed the plans with her beforehand. It would have saved all that ranting and burning up of crops. But Persephone was young, and discussing her fantasies with her mother, Demeter, queen of the breadbasket, simply hadn't crossed her mind.
Persephone's plans went perfectly. She and Octavia discussed them as they walked to the meadow that late summer day. She had dropped news of their whereabouts to his friends. They were going to pick flowers for the New Moon Party in the Vale of Enna. She would wander slowly to the west out of sight. She knew that Hades would show up and that she could seduce him with only a flutter of her eyelashes. He'd teased her about her eyes last week at supper.
Octavia and Persephone discussed Hades once again as they climbed and cut blossoms for their baskets. They talked about his dark and intriguing appearance. Octavia still insisted he was too ominous for words, and somehow scary; even his occupation was distasteful, god of the underworld, ick. But Persephone found his dark eyes tender and appealing and his soft Southern accent charming. --from The Seduction of Hades by Christine Smith ~~I apologize for last week's writing. I had put the Daphne and Apollo story in this spot last year. If anyone would like the entire story, email me and I'll send it to you. dovedrop@gmail.com
Quote of the Week: Jon Stewart and the state of Kansas have just reminded us all that the power of the people is much stronger than the people in power. @jojofromjerz --Submitted by sgj of ks
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There's no need to drive me crazy, I'm close enough to walk. --Submitted by cf of ks
Today's Peace of History, August 5, 1963: The US, USSR and the UK signed the Limited Test Ban Treaty in Moscow, banning nuclear testing in the atmosphere, in space or underwater. It has since been signed by more than 100 countries.
“The odds are 100 to 1 that I’ll be impeached, 50 to 1 that I’ll resign. That is not the reason that I am today signing a Prison Reform Bill. There will be a two-bedroom suite for anyone who once held the nation’s highest office.” / “I have to say, I watched it and it’s so crazy to see so much evidence confirming that Donald Trump did all the things we saw him do, on television, every day for three months straight … on television.” Jimmy Kimmel
..........We passed the time away.........Pat Boone …..Love Letters in the Sand --#2
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle August 5, 2022, Recycled ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS
Moonbeam: I'm lazy but generally task oriented so having a hoop to jump through means eventually I'll make the effort. --Thomas Lynch
Cost of War:
- As of 8/4/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $184,445,084,374.
- As of 8/4/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,074,277,839,599.
- As of 7/28/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,072,667,541,706.
- As of 8/4/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,112,052,588,358.
- As of 7/28/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,111,426,299,963.
- As of 8/4/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,568,565,738,467.
- As of 7/28/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,556,357,104,044.
- As of 8/4/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,975,340,953,312.
- As of 7/28/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,974,118,219,940.
- As of 8/42 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,914,685,312,569.
- As of 7/28/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,883,668, 375,561.
As the bomb fell over Hiroshima and exploded, we saw an entire city disappear. I wrote in my log the words: “My God, what have we done?” --Capt Robert Lewis
Famous Last Words: DONE at New York, this seventh day of July, two thousand and seventeen. --Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons
..........Cause lions ain't the kind you love enough.........Elvis Presley …..Teddy Bear --#1 on the American Bandstand Top Ten List of 8/5/57
For comedians, Watergate was the gift that kept on giving. --Mark Russell / “Whatever your thoughts about President Donald Trump’s impact on America, no one can deny that he’s truly made one sector of America great again: Political comedy,” --CNN
May Peace grace your head
And Joy adorn your face
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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