Once and Future ePistle

Famous First Words: It was a week later. --Somerset Maugham Of Human Bondage

It is International Psychic Week (7-13) I passed a billboard that said “Future Events” and nothing else. It's a sign of things to come. / Phyllis the Psychic met Phillip the Psychic on the street. Phillip remarked that the weather was lovely at the moment and Phyllis said it reminded her of the summer of 2175.

..........They're gonna make a big star out of me.........Buck Owens and Ringo Starr …..Act Naturally

The power of good is shown not by triumphantly conquering evil, but by continuing to resist evil while facing certain defeat. --Edith Hamilton

It is a very pleasant (74°F) Friday morning. The sky has no clouds or jet trails, only beautiful blue expanse. There is no wind to speak of and the trees stand tall and green and still. Puck barks at a Siamese sneaking back home after a night of catting around, a guy emptying his wastepaper basket into the recycle bin, and, of course, squirrels – the root of all evil on earth. A quarrel of sparrows in quarreling and a murder of crows flies high overhead squawking about something. But Puck cuts our walk short and we head back home where the house smells of this morning's coffee and last night's incense. I fix myself a creamy, steamy cup of Joe; ahhhh. Altogether a great morning and best of all, now, I get to write to you.

I foresee your weekend being terrific, ePistlers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: All those galaxies with trillions of planets inside and we ended up on the one with a 40 hour work week.

I just got fired from my online psychic job. I guess it was the right thing because I sure didn't see it coming. / Can my local psychic tell me the password for my google account?

..........If I had his money I could do things my way..........Porter Wagoner …..A Satisfied Mind

Trivia Questions: Happy Vinyl Record Day!

• ^ In what decade was the first vinyl long-playing record launched?
• ^^ The War of the Speeds described format competition between what two speeds and/or companies?
• ^^^ Which speed won the war?
• ^^^^ When did the vinyl revival begin?
• ^^^^^ What is the most expensive vinyl record sold to date?

Big Hello: Gouden Dai – Frisian (Saterland) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Summer isn't over until Sept 22, so sit your pumpkin spice asses down! I'm not finished with my Margarita yet. --Submitted by RHOZ

Image of the Week: This is Kirsten R Yunuba Stephens – my wonderful daughter - and today is her birthday !!!

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 4 in 3 Librarians decided on librarianship as a profession because of the math requirements. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. --Stephen Wright / The Cat Psychic I hired recently told me that my cat was thinking how amazingly gullible I am.

..........A band is blowing Dixie, double-four time.........Dire Straits with Mark Knopfler …..Sultans of Swing

Moonbeam: The easiest thing to do on earth is not write. --William Goldman

Meditation of the Week: What is infinity? --Anaximander (546 BCE)

Puzzle of the Week: Words starting with a "kw-" sound usually start with the letters QU-, as in question, or "KW-," as in Kwanzaa. What common, uncapitalized English word starting with a "kw-" sound contains none of the letters Q, U, K, or W? And there are multiple answers. --NPR Sunday Puzzle 3/13/22

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government is starting to sound pretty good. --Monty Python --Submitted by bc of tx

Week of the Week: World Karaoke Championships (8-14) At any karaoke, the urge to sing The Lion Sleep Tonight is never more than a whim away. / I once had a roommate who was a karaoke singer. I had to ask her to move out. She never knew when to come in and could never find her key.

And then she said, “If you don't quit smoking you'll be dead before you turn 60.” I don't know if she was a psychic or an actuary. / The favorite side dish at the Psychic Club Restaurant is Tarot Tots.

..........Saying “I bid adieu to Molly O”.........The Chieftains & Mark Knopfler …..The Lily of the West

^ In 1931, RCA Victor launched the first commercially available vinyl long-playing record, marketed as program-transcription discs. These revolutionary discs were designed for playback at 33+1⁄3 rpm and pressed on a 30 cm diameter flexible plastic disc, with a duration of about ten minutes playing time per side. These were a commercial flop due to consumer hesitance during the Great Depression and a lack of consumer playback equipment.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 12, 2022. The moon became full (Sturgeon) last night or early this morning (depending on your source) and is in Aquarius. The United Nations has declared this International Youth Day (A/RESZ/54/120). It is also Klondike Gold Day (1896), Sewing Machine Day, Vinyl Record Day, World Elephant Day, and Worldwide Art Day. In Cuba the People's Victory Against Machado Tyranny is celebrated. In Massachusetts and Oklahoma it is Indian Day and in Texas it is Pioneer Day. In Thailand it is the Queen's Birthday. Finally because it is the third Friday it is Kool-Aid Days.

Among those born on this day were ALF (alien life form, 1757), Robert Southey (1774), Robert Mills (1781), Katharine Lee Bates (1859), Jacinto Benavente y Martinez (1866), Edith Hamilton (1867), Cecil B deMille (1881), Erwin Schroedinger (1887), Jane Wyatt (1912), John Derek (1926), Buck Owens (1929), William Goldman (1931), Porter Wagoner (1932), John Poindexter (1936), Mark Knopfler (1949), and Charles E Brady Jr (1951).

On August twelfth Singer patented his sewing machine (1851), the first cargo of lumber left Vancouver (1863), Edison invented the Edisonphone (1877), Hawaii was formally annexed by the US(1898), Of Human Bondage was published (1915), the 9th modern Olympic games closed (Amsterdam, 1928), the minimum wage rose from 75cents to $1 /hour (1955), the last US combat ground troops left Vietnam (1972), and the Space Shuttle Enterprise made its first atmosphere flight (1977).

Night Sky, 8/12: The Perseid meteor shower should be at its peak late tonight, but the light of the Moon, just a day past full, will compromise the view this year. Only the brightest of the meteors will shine through. The shower is most active from 11 or midnight until dawn local time, when your side of Earth faces most directly into the oncoming meteors (i.e., the shower's radiant is highest). http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Image of the Week: A Cart of Brothers

This Week: Saturday, August 13 – International Left Handers Day & Global Sleep Under the Stars Night

Sunday, August 14 – Bagel Day & National Navajo Code Talkers Day & World Calligraphy Day

Night Sky, 8/14: Saturn is at opposition tonight, directly opposite the Sun in our sky. So it's highest around the middle of the night. In a telescope, do you notice that Saturn's rings seem a little brighter than usual compared to Saturn's globe? This Seeliger effect is caused by the solid ring particles backscattering sunlight to us when the Sun is almost directly behind us (i.e. Saturn at opposition). The dusty surfaces of the Moon and Mars also display this "opposition surge," but Saturn's clouds do not. In the case of Saturn the effect is named for Hugo von Seeliger, who studied it in detail and published his findings in 1887.

Monday, August 15 – National Leathercraft Day & National Thrift Shop Day

Tuesday, August 16 – National Rollercoaster Day & National Rum Day & Surveillance Day

Wednesday, August 17 – Black Cat Appreciation Day & National Nonprofit Day

Night Sky, 8/17 : Mars rises around midnight or 1 am and stands high in the east-southeast as dawn begins, shining at an impressive magnitude +0.1 between Aries and Taurus. It's twice as bright as similarly colored Aldebaran a fist or so to its east.

Thursday, August 18 – Bad Poetry Day & Serendipity Day

Have you talked to people lately? Believe me, it's much harder than talking to the dead. / Ever notice how you don't see headlines “Psychic Wins Lottery” or “Faith Healer Empties Children's Mercy Hospital”.

..........He's banging on the bongos like a chimpanzee.........Eric Clapton, Phil Collins, & Mark Knopfler …..Money For Nothing

^^ The cutthroat rivalry between RCA Victor and Columbia Records led to the introduction of another competing format by RCA, the 7”/45 rpm Extended Play (EP). The period where both of these formats fought for dominance from 1948-1950 was known as the “War of the Speeds.”

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The word “canadiens” was originally derived from the Mohawk word Kehne ian which means “they sit in our village” it would now translate to squatters. --Jeff Corntassel

Moonbeam: Give me a room whose every nook is dedicated to a book. --Robert Southey

Video of the Week: Willie Nelson – Toby Keith – Scott Emerick Weed With Willie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDQANmQO2g0 (3:25)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Reports say Warner Brother's movie Batgirl, which is almost completed and cost $90 million to make, will never see the light of day because it is just unfit for human consumption,. ...a coming of age story about batgirl becoming a batwoman at her bat mitzvah. --Negin Farsad Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 8/6/22

Convention is so often a mask for injustice. --Edith Hamilton

When Pryce the Psychic got his new glasses he realized that the visions in his crystal ball weren't all black clouds. / The psychic's favorite dessert is tarot cake.

..........There's a stranger and he's standing at your door.........Van Morrison & Mark Knopfler …..Irish Heartbeat

^^^ Compromise: After a few years of duking it out, the 12”/33 1/3 rpm LP became the predominant format for albums, and the 7” record became the format of choice for singles. EPs offered a similar playtime to the 78 rpm discs, and LPs provided up to 30 minutes of playtime per side. In the early 1960s, consumers caught onto stereo LPs, and conventional mono LPs stopped being manufactured by 1968.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Question 5. An orchestra of 120 players takes 40 minutes to play Beethoven's 9^th Symphony. How long would it take for 60 players to play the symphony?

Weird Word of the Week: Biomimetics – manufacture of new chemical compounds. (a waterproof glue has been developed by studying the natural adhesive produced by mollusks) http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-bio4.htm

Dragon Picture of the Week: Gate in Blaine, MN

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Substitute syrup for sugar when cooking. Use three-quarters cup of Aunt Jemima Original Syrup for each cup of sugar. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html

Our school district superintendent went to a psychic in hopes of finding out next year's enrollment numbers. Her budgets keep crashing. / There was a psychic dinosaur. It was called tarotdacy

...........The wheel of heaven turns above us endlessly.........Emmylou Harris & Mark Knopfler …..Our Shangri La

^^^^ After decades of music being stored as mp3s and mp4s on computer hard drives, vinyl saw a resurgence in the late 2010s. January 2017 boasted the highest number of vinyl records sold since 1991. 2017 marked the tenth consecutive year of vinyl growth, partially thanks to indie rock, the emergence of more record stores, and the novelty of the format.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing. --Submitted by NS

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CONvergence 2022 (11-14, Minneapolis, MN) ...the premiere event of our kind in the upper Midwest. https://www.convergence-con.org/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: The Disney Data and Analytics Conference (15, Orlando, FL) ...will provide you with the tools and training to integrate advanced decision-making techniques into business processes https://disneydataconference.com/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Choir, coif, or croissant

Some friends were at my house and decided to play poker but all they found was my tarot deck. Mary drew to a full house and 3 people died. / I didn't know I was psychic until I recently started having visions of Kansas becoming a leader in the women's rights movement.

..........You'll tell your mama her baby's got good news.........Chet Atkins & Mark Knopfler …..Poor Boy Blues

^^^^^ Perhaps the rarest (and certainly the most expensive) record ever sold was a copy of The Wu-Tang Clan’s 7th studio album, Once Upon a Time in Shaolin. The group recorded the album in secret over six years; the one and only copy sold for $2 million at auction in 2015 with specific contractual terms. It states the album cannot be commercially exploited until 2103; however, the owner (former hedge fund and drug company manager Martin Shkrelican) can release it for free if he chooses.

My Own Writing of the Week: Sure enough, Hades "accidentally" drove by in his emblazoned chariot with a team of pure black stallions frothing from a heavy workout. She flashed her one-sided smile and admired his car. He complimented her on her frock. She batted her eyelashes; he told her that if she'd like, he'd let her hold the reins. The only thing she hadn't planned for was exactly how good a lover he turned out to be--strong but tender, passionate but slow-handed.

Yes, she did eat the pomegranate seeds at his urging. So she had to remain in the underworld for three months each year. It was after an all-night roll beside the river Styx. Besides, no one, not even Hades, knew it but she had contacted the decorator about redoing his Blue Room the day before.

Demeter, of course, was miffed at Persephone for not inviting her to the wedding, but she got over it. And I suppose you've heard about that fight she and Hades had over the bride price. In fact, it wasn't until she let all the foliage die, threatening to wash all the top soil off of his netherworld, that Hades finally gave in and included the chariot and the team.

Naturally, when her first grandchild was born, all bad feelings were forgiven. She even built Hades that little temple in a cave at Eleusis. --from The Seduction of Hades by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: We must read Paul through the lens of Jesus. Not read Jesus through the lens of Paul. --Submitted by MMS ~~I claim that if there was ever a difference between what Paul said and what Jesus said, the Baptists would go with Paul.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: One great thing about Texas heat...you can guarantee no one is waiting in your back seat to kill you.

Today's Peace of History: August 12, 1995: Thousands demonstrated in Philadelphia and other cities in support of journalist and former Black Panther Mumia Abu-Jamal (on death row for murder since 1982) in the largest anti-death-penalty demonstrations in the U.S. to date.

I'm psychic, did you know? I knew you'd read this. / I recently saw a psychic, a mystic, a palm reader, and a fortune teller all laughing together at something I couldn't understand. It must have been an insight joke.

..........I drank a fifth of courage and walked in.........Porter Wagoner …..Cold Hard Facts Of Life

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle August 12, 2022, Once and Future ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: You see, living an exceptional life isn’t just an opportunity that comes along once in a lifetime. It’s an invitation that awaits us every single day. Every single morning. --Katherine Lee Bates

Cost of War:

• As of 8/11/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $184,994,099,571.
• As of 8/4/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $184,445,084,374.
• As of 8/11/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,075,811,225,715.
• As of 8/4/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,074,277,839,599.
• As of 8/11/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,112,648,855,340.
• As of 8/4/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,112,052,588,358.
• As of 8/11/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,580,187,147,082.
• As of 8/4/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,568,565,738,467.
• As of 8/11/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,976,505,067,294.
• As of 8/4/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,975,340,953,312.
• As of 8/4/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,930,150,319,726.
• As of 8/11/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,914,685,312,569.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Liberty depends on self-restraint. Freedom is freedom only when controlled and limited. --Edith Hamilton

Famous Last Words: Mr DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up. Gloria Swanson in DeMille's Sunset Boulevard

..........You got me dreamin' those dreams again.........Buck Owens …..Under Your Spell Again

Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than a surprise party. / A psychic predicted that Putin would die on a Ukrainian holiday. “Which one”, he asked. To which the fortune teller replied, “Whenever you die it will be a Ukrainian holiday”.

May Peace define your future

And Joy describe your present

prairie mama

christine

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