Famous First Words: Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome ...Cabaret
Happy World Water Week. You know, I had a friend who dug a hole in her back yard and then she filled it with water. She meant well./ When General Hospital in Kentucky was underwater during the flood, they hired sturgeon surgeons.
It'd be easier to afford a Women's Equality Day party if we made as much money as men.
..........Yeah, I'm never, never, never, never gonna be the same.........Aerosmith …..Crazy
Go forth in peace. --St Clare of Assisi
It is a beautiful Friday morning. 70°F and sunny makes it very nice to be outside and very pretty looking out the window. There are almost clouds in the sky. On the edges of sight there are wisps of white but when you look close, they seem to not be there, not even on the horizon. There is no breeze to speak of and the trees are still and stately and very, very green. Puck and I walked earlier...BCE (Before current errands). He was fine until the cat from next door walked across his driveway; then we had to come back home to explain to the cat at length whose driveway it is. Jeff has been taken to the Ortho doctor for his shot and certain commodities have been purchased. On our trip we saw a low flying airplane, two people walking three large dogs, and lots of traffic. But I am home now, eating a biscuit, drinking my doctored decaf; and, of course, my favorite part, writing to you.
Hope your weekend is wet and wonderful, ePistliers.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Mars company has relented and will now add a Tucker Carlson M&M. They're all-white, extra bitter, and will meltdown when mixed with multi-colored M&Ms. --Submitted by cf of ks
Those fish that stay at the bottom of the ocean, are fish that dropped out of school. / When the kitchen faucet broke and sprayed water everywhere. We just used the counter as a pool table.
Feminism: The radical view that women are people.
..........Your love child with wild child smile.........Aerosmith …..Gypsy Boots
Trivia Questions: Happy National Toilet Paper Day!
- ^ About how many trees does it take to make enough toilet paper for one person for one lifetime?
- ^^ When did toilet paper first appear?
- ^^^ How many sheets does the average roll of toilet paper contain?
- ^^^^ When did rolled and perforated toilet paper appear?
- ^^^^^ What Eco-friendly toilet papers are available?
Big Hello: Ola – Galician https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: School Dress Code Update: Students cannot wear clothing with the name of any musician or band unless the student can name at least three of their songs. --Submitted by rm of ks
Image of the Week: This is Veronica, our newest family member.
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Ranganathan’s First Law of More
Pier pressure keeps the dock floating above water. / As raindrops say, two's company, three's a cloud.
I've just met a woman who raps about equality for women everywhere. She's called 'Feminem'
..........Drashin' spurs, pong man, puss n' boots.........Aerosmith …..Jig It Up
Moonbeam: I understood that the will could not be improved before the mind has been enlightened. --Johann Heinrich Lambert
Meditation of the Week: Are humans innately good or evil? --traditionally Hobbes vs Rousseau
Puzzle of the Week: It's a straightforward puzzle. Think of a place where you can find coins, in two words. Put the second word first, and you'll get a compound word describing most holiday cards. What words are these? --Public Radio Sunday Puzzle 12/30/18
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why read dystopian fiction when you can just pay attention.
Advice: If you own a waterbed, don't fill it with spring water. It will keep tossing you out. / This ant floating on top of the Koi pond is male. We know because he's buoyant.
In honor of National Women's Equality Day, today will be only 21 hours and 30 minutes long.
..........About ordinary people.........Aerosmith …..Eat The Rich
^ It takes about 384 trees to make the toilet paper that one uses within a lifetime. The average person uses 100 rolls of toilet paper per year (over 20,000 sheets).
Almanac: It is Friday, August 26, 2022. The moon will be new tomorrow (8/28) and is in Leo. It is National Dog Day, National Toilet Paper Day, and Women's Equality Day. It's Namibia it's Namibia Day and in the US it is Susan B Anthony Day (1920). Zanzibar celebrates the Sultan's Birthday. Because it is the last Friday it is World Daffodil Day and because it is the last full weekend in August it is also International Bat Night and The Duchess Who Wasn't Day.
Among those born on this day were Robert Walpole (1676), Johann Lambert (1728), Joseph Montgolfier (1740), Antoine-Laurent Lavoisier (1743), Charles Richet (1850), Earl Biggers (1884), Christopher Isherwood (1904), Albert Sabin (1906), Geraldine Ferraro (1935), Jet Black (1948), and Macauley Culkin (1981). On August twenty-sixth Caesar invaded Britain (55 BCE), the Phillies walked 17 Dodgers in a single game (1903), the 19th Amendment (Women's suffrage) passed (1920), the International Hockey Hall of Fame opened (Toronto, 1961), the Summer Olympics opened in Munich (1972), the University of Texas began offering belly dancing (1973), Aerosmith appeared on the cover of the Rolling Stone (1976), and NASA launched Telsat-F (1982).
Night Sky, 9/26: Late these evenings as autumn approaches, Fomalhaut, the Autumn Star, makes its inevitable appearance above the southeast horizon. Its rising time will depend on where you live. But by 10 or 11 pm now, you should have no trouble identifying it low in the southeast if you have a good view in that direction. No other 1st-magnitude star is anywhere near there. Hint: It's about two fists lower left of Saturn. The moon becomes new at 3:17 am 8/27. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Fraternal Picture of the Week: Brothers with Ice Cream
This Week: Saturday, August 27 – Go Topless Day** & Just Because Day
** The Saturday nearest August 26 = Women's Equality Day
Sunday, August 28 – National Thoughtful Day & National Weed Out Hate Day
Night Sky, 8/28: Another sign of the advancing season: Cassiopeia is high in the northeast, its W pattern tilting up. And below it, starry Perseus is reaching up.
Monday, August 29 – According To Hoyle Day & Individual Rights Day & More Herbs, Less Salt Day
Tuesday, August 30 – International Whale Shark Day & National Grief Awareness Day
Wednesday, August 31 – Love Litigating Lawyers Day & National Diatomaceous Earth Day
Night Sky, 8/31: The asteroid 4 Vesta is just past opposition and showing itself at a relatively bright magnitude 6.1. This week it's in western Aquarius about 8° southeast of Delta Capricorni, which is currently the 3rd-magnitude neighbor of Saturn
Thursday, September 1 – National No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day & World Letter Writing Day
Anyone can make holy water, you just boil the devil out of it. / Nestle's started up a live stream network. It's 24 hours of running water.
Problem with pay equality is that men tend to go for higher paying jobs...like doctors or directors. While women tend to settle with lesser paying ones like female doctors or female directors.
..........Oh, the times I could reminisce.........Aerosmith …..Walk This Way
^^ The first account of toilet paper use was recorded in 6th century China.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Turns out you can just buy a birthday cake anytime and eat it yourself. Nobody checks.
Moonbeam: We've chosen the path to equality, don't let them turn us around. --Geraldine Ferraro
Video of the Week: Liza Minnelli & Joel Grey Money from Cabaret https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8P80A8vy9I
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Wait Wait Don't Tell Me: Road Trip Edition (Summer Vacation Reruns) Peaches Christ, queen of San Francisco Drag Queens and star of the Wizard of Oz musical: After 75 minutes of watching you as Dorothy the film must seem boring, thin, and silly? --Peter Sagal 8/20/22
Love endures everything. --St Faustina
The Trump organization heard there was a drought so now they're selling dehydrated water. / Divers discovered a sunken Spanish frigate on the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico. It kept shivering and shaking. I guess it was a nervous wreck.
Joke Without A Title of the Week: Awful day today. I had 2 volumes of the collected work of Hegel in my car and someone broke in and left 2 more. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters
A woman asked me, “What does equality mean?” I said, “Your guess is as good as mine.”
..........Backstreet boogie in the house of delight.........Aerosmith …..Lick and Promise
^^^ The average toilet paper roll consists of 333 sheets.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Even the Sophists hate that one guy in your graduate seminar. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters
Weird Word of the Week: Diatomaceous (adj) Consisting of or containing diatoms or their fossil remains. Diatom – any of numerous microscopic, unicellular, marine or freshwater algae of the phylum Chrysophyta, having cell walls containing silica. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/diatom
Dragon of the Week: Wat Samphran Temple – Khlong Mai, Thailand
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Relieves a sore throat. Take two teaspoons of Aunt Jemima Original Syrup to coat and soothe the throat. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html
Mermaids sleep on waterbeds. / Bibliotek Hel threw a billion books into the ocean. It was a title wave.
It's Women's Equality Day. Let's send thoughts and prayers to all of Donald Trump's female supporters.
...........Thinkin' 'about the night life in the ladies powder room.........Aerosmith …..The Hop
^^^^ Seth Wheeler patented rolled and perforated toilet paper on December 22, 1891.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Blasphemy: Speech that has been outlawed to prevent your religion from losing arguments. --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: San Diego International Kids Film Festival (26-28, San Diego) Winner of the Special Jury Award is Sihja, the Rebel Fairy http://sdkidsfilms.org/Home.html
Actual Science Conference of the Week: KnowledgeFest Dallas 2022 (8/26/22, Dallas) KnowledgeFest Dallas is a full trade show and educational conference for mobile electronics retailers. https://m.eventsinamerica.com/events/knowledgefest-dallas-2022/technology/electronics/bhy0cxuhw2cyiik3
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Wishing Well → Well Wishing
I should have studied oceanography in college. My grades were always below C level. / I started going out with my boyfriend when he gave me a bottle of tonic water. He schwepped me off my feet.
Sexism is a man screaming he has a better temperament than a woman who has been patiently waiting to speak after being interrupted 10 times. --Chris Bacon
..........Love has got me down.........Aerosmith …..Shut Up And Dance
^^^^^ Bamboo and recycled paper are alternatives to 365 trees. My favorite provider is Who Gives A Crap. https://us.whogivesacrap.org/
My Own Writing of the Week: When I went away to college, I met and mated a steady stream of boys with whom sex was boring and dull, excruciatingly monotonous, mind-mindbogglingly repetitive, and sometimes painfully embarrassing. I am sure this grim gauntlet discouraged a lot of would-be bad girls and likely caused many others to embrace lesbianism...both general and deeply latent. But, damn, I still liked it.
Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time. --Tallulah Bankhead
I became convinced that any woman could enjoy sex and be good or bad for wholly other reasons. Many women enjoy sex and are good women, in spite of the apparently morally corrosive nature of it. What is the logic here? If you enjoy your time in the bedroom, you might begin to want to enjoy yourself in the kitchen, in your life in general. It could lead to women wanting meaningful jobs and adequate pay. My own sainted mother once said that while she didn't much like being pregnant she did like "making babies". (She said this when I was well into my adult years and had children of my own, not when I was a teenager and could have used a little direction.)
Among those of us trying to cope with this mess the most common response was to pretend to not like sex. Lots of women tried this; many had affairs later so they didn't have to pretend all the time. Some let their husbands in on the joke. But we still didn't talk about it. --Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, fantasies, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution ~~What happened was that I came upon a piece of this memoir which was in dire need of editing. So I have worked on it and I'm back to this story. Sorry for the interruption.
Quote of the Week: Kushner looks like a mannequin, and he writes like one. --Vanity Fair review of Jared Kushern's Memoir Breaking History.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I heard what you did for a Klondike bar. Call me. --Submitted by INRITH
Today's Peace of History, August 26, 1970: Betty Friedan lead a nationwide protest called the “Women’s Strike for Equality” in New York City on the fiftieth anniversary of women’s suffrage
What happens when you throw a white hat into the Black Sea? It gets wet. / Raindrop Pick Up Lines: Water you doing tonight? / Do you know why scuba divers always fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forward they'd still be in the boat.
Given that we live in an era of equality, it is only fair that for every 100 men drafted for the war...We shall draft 79 women.
..........Well, I gots to drink me two fifths of whiskey.........Aerosmith …..Reefer Head Woman
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle August 26, 2022, Inviscid ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS
Moonbeam: Sometimes awful things have their own beauty. --Christopher Isherwood
Cost of War:
- As of 8/25/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $186,095,320,365.
- As of 8/18/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $185,562,000,614.
- As of 8/25/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,078,887,049,373.
- As of 8/18/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,077,400,218,735.
- As of 8/25/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,113,844,993,154.
- As of 8/18/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,113,266,788,365.
- As of 8/25/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,603,502,956,037.
- As of 8/18/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,592,232,876,804.
- As of 8/25/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,978,840,360,377.
- As of 8/18/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,977,711,517,536.
- As of 8/25/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,961,172,821,578.
- As of 8/18/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,946,176,767,271.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
The gifts of grace increase as the struggles increase. --St Rose of Lima
Famous Last Words: ..by the appropriate legislation. 19th Amendment US Constitution
..........Give my heart a break.........Aerosmith …..Another Last Goodbye
Why do corporations hire female Equality Officers? Because they’re cheaper.
I always wanted to play water polo but I could never get the horse to swim. / I opened a bottle of Ozark Spring Water but the water just squirted out in my face.
May Freedom bring Peace
And Equality impart Joy
prairie mama
christine
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