Inviscid ePistle

 Famous First Words: Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome ...Cabaret

Happy World Water Week. You know, I had a friend who dug a hole in her back yard and then she filled it with water. She meant well./ When General Hospital in Kentucky was underwater during the flood, they hired sturgeon surgeons.

It'd be easier to afford a Women's Equality Day party if we made as much money as men.

..........Yeah, I'm never, never, never, never gonna be the same.........Aerosmith …..Crazy

Go forth in peace. --St Clare of Assisi

It is a beautiful Friday morning. 70°F and sunny makes it very nice to be outside and very pretty looking out the window. There are almost clouds in the sky. On the edges of sight there are wisps of white but when you look close, they seem to not be there, not even on the horizon. There is no breeze to speak of and the trees are still and stately and very, very green. Puck and I walked earlier...BCE (Before current errands). He was fine until the cat from next door walked across his driveway; then we had to come back home to explain to the cat at length whose driveway it is. Jeff has been taken to the Ortho doctor for his shot and certain commodities have been purchased. On our trip we saw a low flying airplane, two people walking three large dogs, and lots of traffic. But I am home now, eating a biscuit, drinking my doctored decaf; and, of course, my favorite part, writing to you.

Hope your weekend is wet and wonderful, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The Mars company has relented and will now add a Tucker Carlson M&M. They're all-white, extra bitter, and will meltdown when mixed with multi-colored M&Ms. --Submitted by cf of ks

Those fish that stay at the bottom of the ocean, are fish that dropped out of school. / When the kitchen faucet broke and sprayed water everywhere. We just used the counter as a pool table.

Feminism: The radical view that women are people.

..........Your love child with wild child smile.........Aerosmith …..Gypsy Boots

Trivia Questions: Happy National Toilet Paper Day!

• ^ About how many trees does it take to make enough toilet paper for one person for one lifetime?
• ^^ When did toilet paper first appear?
• ^^^ How many sheets does the average roll of toilet paper contain?
• ^^^^ When did rolled and perforated toilet paper appear?
• ^^^^^ What Eco-friendly toilet papers are available?

Big Hello: Ola – Galician https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: School Dress Code Update: Students cannot wear clothing with the name of any musician or band unless the student can name at least three of their songs. --Submitted by rm of ks

Image of the Week: This is Veronica, our newest family member.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Ranganathan’s First Law of More

Honest Library Science: The Library is a growing organism that feeds on the hopes and optimism of new librarians. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Pier pressure keeps the dock floating above water. / As raindrops say, two's company, three's a cloud.

I've just met a woman who raps about equality for women everywhere. She's called 'Feminem'

..........Drashin' spurs, pong man, puss n' boots.........Aerosmith …..Jig It Up

Moonbeam: I understood that the will could not be improved before the mind has been enlightened. --Johann Heinrich Lambert

Meditation of the Week: Are humans innately good or evil? --traditionally Hobbes vs Rousseau

Puzzle of the Week: It's a straightforward puzzle. Think of a place where you can find coins, in two words. Put the second word first, and you'll get a compound word describing most holiday cards. What words are these? --Public Radio Sunday Puzzle 12/30/18

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why read dystopian fiction when you can just pay attention.

Advice: If you own a waterbed, don't fill it with spring water. It will keep tossing you out. / This ant floating on top of the Koi pond is male. We know because he's buoyant.

In honor of National Women's Equality Day, today will be only 21 hours and 30 minutes long.

..........About ordinary people.........Aerosmith …..Eat The Rich

^ It takes about 384 trees to make the toilet paper that one uses within a lifetime. The average person uses 100 rolls of toilet paper per year (over 20,000 sheets).

Almanac: It is Friday, August 26, 2022. The moon will be new tomorrow (8/28) and is in Leo. It is National Dog Day, National Toilet Paper Day, and Women's Equality Day. It's Namibia it's Namibia Day and in the US it is Susan B Anthony Day (1920). Zanzibar celebrates the Sultan's Birthday. Because it is the last Friday it is World Daffodil Day and because it is the last full weekend in August it is also International Bat Night and The Duchess Who Wasn't Day.

Among those born on this day were Robert Walpole (1676), Johann Lambert (1728), Joseph Montgolfier (1740), Antoine-Laurent Lavoisier (1743), Charles Richet (1850), Earl Biggers (1884), Christopher Isherwood (1904), Albert Sabin (1906), Geraldine Ferraro (1935), Jet Black (1948), and Macauley Culkin (1981). On August twenty-sixth Caesar invaded Britain (55 BCE), the Phillies walked 17 Dodgers in a single game (1903), the 19th Amendment (Women's suffrage) passed (1920), the International Hockey Hall of Fame opened (Toronto, 1961), the Summer Olympics opened in Munich (1972), the University of Texas began offering belly dancing (1973), Aerosmith appeared on the cover of the Rolling Stone (1976), and NASA launched Telsat-F (1982).

Night Sky, 9/26: Late these evenings as autumn approaches, Fomalhaut, the Autumn Star, makes its inevitable appearance above the southeast horizon. Its rising time will depend on where you live. But by 10 or 11 pm now, you should have no trouble identifying it low in the southeast if you have a good view in that direction. No other 1st-magnitude star is anywhere near there. Hint: It's about two fists lower left of Saturn. The moon becomes new at 3:17 am 8/27. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Brothers with Ice Cream

This Week: Saturday, August 27 – Go Topless Day** & Just Because Day

** The Saturday nearest August 26 = Women's Equality Day

Sunday, August 28 – National Thoughtful Day & National Weed Out Hate Day

Night Sky, 8/28: Another sign of the advancing season: Cassiopeia is high in the northeast, its W pattern tilting up. And below it, starry Perseus is reaching up.

Monday, August 29 – According To Hoyle Day & Individual Rights Day & More Herbs, Less Salt Day

Tuesday, August 30 – International Whale Shark Day & National Grief Awareness Day

Wednesday, August 31 – Love Litigating Lawyers Day & National Diatomaceous Earth Day

Night Sky, 8/31: The asteroid 4 Vesta is just past opposition and showing itself at a relatively bright magnitude 6.1. This week it's in western Aquarius about 8° southeast of Delta Capricorni, which is currently the 3rd-magnitude neighbor of Saturn

Thursday, September 1 – National No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day & World Letter Writing Day

Anyone can make holy water, you just boil the devil out of it. / Nestle's started up a live stream network. It's 24 hours of running water.

Problem with pay equality is that men tend to go for higher paying jobs...like doctors or directors. While women tend to settle with lesser paying ones like female doctors or female directors.

..........Oh, the times I could reminisce.........Aerosmith …..Walk This Way

^^ The first account of toilet paper use was recorded in 6th century China.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Turns out you can just buy a birthday cake anytime and eat it yourself. Nobody checks.

Moonbeam: We've chosen the path to equality, don't let them turn us around. --Geraldine Ferraro

Video of the Week: Liza Minnelli & Joel Grey Money from Cabaret https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8P80A8vy9I

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Wait Wait Don't Tell Me: Road Trip Edition (Summer Vacation Reruns) Peaches Christ, queen of San Francisco Drag Queens and star of the Wizard of Oz musical: After 75 minutes of watching you as Dorothy the film must seem boring, thin, and silly? --Peter Sagal 8/20/22

Love endures everything. --St Faustina

The Trump organization heard there was a drought so now they're selling dehydrated water. / Divers discovered a sunken Spanish frigate on the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico. It kept shivering and shaking. I guess it was a nervous wreck.

Joke Without A Title of the Week: Awful day today. I had 2 volumes of the collected work of Hegel in my car and someone broke in and left 2 more. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

A woman asked me, “What does equality mean?” I said, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

..........Backstreet boogie in the house of delight.........Aerosmith …..Lick and Promise

^^^ The average toilet paper roll consists of 333 sheets.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Even the Sophists hate that one guy in your graduate seminar. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Weird Word of the Week: Diatomaceous (adj) Consisting of or containing diatoms or their fossil remains. Diatom – any of numerous microscopic, unicellular, marine or freshwater algae of the phylum Chrysophyta, having cell walls containing silica. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/diatom

Dragon of the Week: Wat Samphran Temple – Khlong Mai, Thailand

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Relieves a sore throat. Take two teaspoons of Aunt Jemima Original Syrup to coat and soothe the throat. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html

Mermaids sleep on waterbeds. / Bibliotek Hel threw a billion books into the ocean. It was a title wave.

It's Women's Equality Day. Let's send thoughts and prayers to all of Donald Trump's female supporters.

...........Thinkin' 'about the night life in the ladies powder room.........Aerosmith …..The Hop

^^^^ Seth Wheeler patented rolled and perforated toilet paper on December 22, 1891.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Blasphemy: Speech that has been outlawed to prevent your religion from losing arguments. --Submitted by LaughingInDisbelief

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: San Diego International Kids Film Festival (26-28, San Diego) Winner of the Special Jury Award is Sihja, the Rebel Fairy http://sdkidsfilms.org/Home.html

Actual Science Conference of the Week: KnowledgeFest Dallas 2022 (8/26/22, Dallas) KnowledgeFest Dallas is a full trade show and educational conference for mobile electronics retailers. https://m.eventsinamerica.com/events/knowledgefest-dallas-2022/technology/electronics/bhy0cxuhw2cyiik3

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Wishing Well → Well Wishing

I should have studied oceanography in college. My grades were always below C level. / I started going out with my boyfriend when he gave me a bottle of tonic water. He schwepped me off my feet.

Sexism is a man screaming he has a better temperament than a woman who has been patiently waiting to speak after being interrupted 10 times. --Chris Bacon

..........Love has got me down.........Aerosmith …..Shut Up And Dance

^^^^^ Bamboo and recycled paper are alternatives to 365 trees. My favorite provider is Who Gives A Crap. https://us.whogivesacrap.org/

My Own Writing of the Week: When I went away to college, I met and mated a steady stream of boys with whom sex was boring and dull, excruciatingly monotonous, mind-mindbogglingly repetitive, and sometimes painfully embarrassing. I am sure this grim gauntlet discouraged a lot of would-be bad girls and likely caused many others to embrace lesbianism...both general and deeply latent. But, damn, I still liked it.

Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time. --Tallulah Bankhead

I became convinced that any woman could enjoy sex and be good or bad for wholly other reasons. Many women enjoy sex and are good women, in spite of the apparently morally corrosive nature of it. What is the logic here? If you enjoy your time in the bedroom, you might begin to want to enjoy yourself in the kitchen, in your life in general. It could lead to women wanting meaningful jobs and adequate pay. My own sainted mother once said that while she didn't much like being pregnant she did like "making babies". (She said this when I was well into my adult years and had children of my own, not when I was a teenager and could have used a little direction.)

Among those of us trying to cope with this mess the most common response was to pretend to not like sex. Lots of women tried this; many had affairs later so they didn't have to pretend all the time. Some let their husbands in on the joke. But we still didn't talk about it. --Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, fantasies, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution ~~What happened was that I came upon a piece of this memoir which was in dire need of editing. So I have worked on it and I'm back to this story. Sorry for the interruption.

Quote of the Week: Kushner looks like a mannequin, and he writes like one. --Vanity Fair review of Jared Kushern's Memoir Breaking History.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I heard what you did for a Klondike bar. Call me. --Submitted by INRITH

Today's Peace of History, August 26, 1970: Betty Friedan lead a nationwide protest called the “Women’s Strike for Equality” in New York City on the fiftieth anniversary of women’s suffrage

What happens when you throw a white hat into the Black Sea? It gets wet. / Raindrop Pick Up Lines: Water you doing tonight? / Do you know why scuba divers always fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forward they'd still be in the boat.

Given that we live in an era of equality, it is only fair that for every 100 men drafted for the war...We shall draft 79 women.

..........Well, I gots to drink me two fifths of whiskey.........Aerosmith …..Reefer Head Woman

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle August 26, 2022, Inviscid ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: Sometimes awful things have their own beauty. --Christopher Isherwood

Cost of War:

• As of 8/25/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $186,095,320,365.
• As of 8/18/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $185,562,000,614.
• As of 8/25/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,078,887,049,373.
• As of 8/18/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,077,400,218,735.
• As of 8/25/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,113,844,993,154.
• As of 8/18/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,113,266,788,365.
• As of 8/25/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,603,502,956,037.
• As of 8/18/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,592,232,876,804.
• As of 8/25/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,978,840,360,377.
• As of 8/18/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,977,711,517,536.
• As of 8/25/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,961,172,821,578.
• As of 8/18/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,946,176,767,271.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The gifts of grace increase as the struggles increase. --St Rose of Lima

Famous Last Words: ..by the appropriate legislation. 19^th Amendment US Constitution

..........Give my heart a break.........Aerosmith …..Another Last Goodbye

Why do corporations hire female Equality Officers? Because they’re cheaper.

I always wanted to play water polo but I could never get the horse to swim. / I opened a bottle of Ozark Spring Water but the water just squirted out in my face.

May Freedom bring Peace

And Equality impart Joy

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

gNashed ePistle

 Famous First Words: Can life be a blessing... --John Dryden Troilus And Cressida

Happy Birthday, Ogden! The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other, milk --Ogden Nash The Cow

..........I'll stay with you 'till the seas are dried up.........Ginger Baker & Cream …..Sunshine Of Your Love

Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. --Desmond Tutu

It is a rainy Friday morning. I have taken too long to get ready for our morning constitutional so the rain began and – little known fact – Puck is made of sugar and will melt in the rain so he doesn't go out on watery days. The sky is a slate gray with white puffy clouds between here and the horizon. Lack of direct sunlight gives the world a kind of dreamy feeling. Tree branches remain still, even the willows are quiet. Damp soil and wet foliage fill the air and my nose when I open the patio door – careful not to let the new kitten, Veronica, out. She is hiding under a bookcase so she isn't rushing to get out. Puck goes to the nearest bit of grass – 3 feet from the door – does his business and returns almost before I could get the door shut behind him. A long bolt of lightning rolls across the west and the sound of raindrops on the chimney picks up speed. Puck drinks his little bowl of ½ and ½ - perhaps before the cat finds it – and sneaks into a nap at my feet. I am drinking doctored coffee and sitting at my computer writing to you. Wow, what a morning.

ePistliers, I hope your weekend is so great you count it first the next time you're counting your blessings. 

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Tee Shirt: Treason is the Reason for the Seizin'

Candy is Dandy But liquor Is Quicker --Ogden Nash Reflections on Ice-Breaking

..........You are the sun and as you shine on me.........Ginger Baker & Cream …..I Feel Free

Trivia Questions: Happy World Orangutan Day !

• ^ Orangutans only live on two islands; can you name either or both?
• ^^ What does the word orangutan mean?
• ^^^ Would you care to guess what percentage of DNA the orangutan shares with humans?
• ^^^^ How many orangutans are there in the wild, more or less?
• ^^^^^ How long does the baby orangutan stay with its mother?

Big Hello: Mandi – Friulian (Northern Italy) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I won't back down. --Tom Petty I may readjust my stance if you have a convincing argument. --Tom Reasonable --Submitted by INRITH

Image of the Week: Made You Look …. Black Lives Matter

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: The average librarian's cardigan conceals two pencils, one flask, and one emergency kitten. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Behold the duck. It does not cluck. A cluck it lacks. It quacks. It is specially fond of a puddle or pond. When it dines or sups, it's bottoms up. --Ogden Nash The Duck

..........I told you 'bout the swans, that they live in the park........Ginger Baker & Cream ….Badge

Moonbeam: She became a feminist at 11. When I say feminist, I'm talking about equality and awareness of perceptions of roles. --Tipper Gore

Meditation of the Week: What makes us human? --Plato

Puzzle of the Week: Name a famous person in American television — 6 letters in the first name, 4 letters in the last. Switch the last letter of the first name with the first letter of the last. Then reverse the order of the two modified names. You'll get a phrase meaning "almost typical." What is it? --NPR Sunday Puzzle 8/7/22

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What's scary is that all of this could happen to any of us who stole nuclear documents.

God in his wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why. --Ogden Nash The Fly

..........Yellow tigers crouched in jungles in her dark eyes.........Ginger Baker & Cream …..White Room

^ Orangutans can be found on the Southeast Asian islands of Borneo and (northern) Sumatra. 12,000 years ago you could have found them in Southern China, Indochina, Java and southern Sumatra – the species are now extinct in these regions.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 19, 2022. The moon entered the quarter yesterday (8/18) and is in Taurus. It is Aviation Day, "Black Cow" Root Beer Float Day, Coco Chanel Day, International Bow (Hair) Day, International Orangutan Day, World Humanitarian Day, and World Photo Day. Hawaii “celebrates” Admission Day (1959).

Among those born on this day were John Dryden (1631), John Flamsteed (1646), Samuel Richardson (1689), Minna Canth (1844), Edith Nesbit (1858), John Kane (1860), Orville Wright (1871), Alfred Lunt (1892), Ogden Nash (1902), Philo T Farnsworth (1906), Ring Lardner Jr (1915), Gene Roddenberry (1921), Diana Muldaur (1938), Ginger Baker (1939), Bill Clinton (1946), Tipper Gore (1948), Jonathan Frakes (1952), Adam Arkin (1956), John Stamos (1963), and Mathew Perry (1970). On August nineteenth Herschel discovered Enceladus (moon of Saturn, 1787), William Huggins described astronomical application of the spectrum (1891), the first race was run at the Indianapolis 500 speedway (1909), Ralph Bunche was named undersecretary of the UN (1954), the NY Giants voted to move to San Francisco (1957), the Oklahoma City NAACP began lunch counter sit-ins (1958), Sputnik 5 carried 2 dogs and 3 mice into space and brought them back alive (1960), Svetlana Savtiskaya became the second woman in space (1982), Mikhail Gorbachev was deposed (1991).

Night Sky, 8/20: For months, most of the naked-eye planets have been hanging out in the early morning sky. Now Saturn becomes the first of the crew to return to evening view as early as late twilight. It shines higher through the rest of the night. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Picture of the Week: Brothers with bin –- and some tall help

This Week: Saturday, August 20 – National Radio Day & World Mosquito Day

Sunday, August 21 – Poet's Day & Senior Citizen's Day

Night Sky, 8/21: August is prime Milky Way time, at least when the Moon is out of the evening sky as it is now. After dark the Milky Way runs from Sagittarius in the south, up and left across Aquila and through the big Summer Triangle very high in the east, and on down through Cassiopeia to Perseus rising low in the north-northeast.

Monday, August 22 – Be An Angel Day & National Tooth Fairy Day

Tuesday, August 23 – Ride The Wind Day & Find Your Inner Nerd Day

Wednesday, August 24 – International Strange Music Day & Pluto Demotion Day

Night Sky, 8/24: Mercury is very low in the sunset glow. About 20 or 30 minutes after sunset, try scanning for it with binoculars just above the horizon due west. Good luck. At least Mercury is fairly bright: about magnitude 0.0 all week.

Thursday, August 25 – Kiss and Make Up Day & National Park Service Day & World Daffodil Day

Tell me, O Octopus, I begs / Is those things arms, or is they legs? / I marvel at thee, Octopus; / If I were thous, I'd call me Us..--Ogden Nash The Octopus

..........Well, I'm going down to Rosedale........Ginger Baker & Cream …..Crossroads

^^ The word orangutan comes from the Malay language; “orang” means human and “utan” is derived from hutan which means forest, so the word orangutan literally means human of the forest.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap. --Submitted by Thoughts From Aisle 4

Moonbeam: If we cannot learn to actually enjoy those small differences, to take a positive delight in those small differences between our own kind, here on this planet, then we do not deserve to go out into space and meet the diversity that is almost certainly out there. --Gene Roddenberry

Video of the Week: How to make a Black Cow Click here (1:51)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Live From The Past (Summer Vacation Reruns) Blackbird - a twisty little play. It was the show to see. Nathan Lane , I think, called it: screaming into the grave. Amy Sedaris said it sleeps 300. --Jeff Daniels ( 2015) Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 8/13/22

Every action, no matter how small, is like drips on a rock—over time, they can carve a canyon through even the thickest, most immovable layer of rock. --Shannon Watts (founder of Moms Demand Action)

The pig, if I am not mistaken; Supplies us sausage, ham, and bacon. Let others say his heart is big—I call it stupid of the pig. --Ogden Nash The Pig

..........I'm tired of weeping, I'm tired of moaning..........Ginger Baker & Cream …..I'm So Glad

^^^ We humans share nearly 97% of our DNA with orangutans, making them one of our closest relatives after apes.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Whenever Sarah Palin is on television, I can see stupid from my house. --Submitted by 98%

Weird Word of the Week: Collyrium (plural collyri) A salve for the eyes From the Greek kollura – a bread roll http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-col3.htm

Dragon Image of the Week: Topiary from East Rudham, UK

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Revive an ailing house plant. Add two tablespoons of Aunt Jemima Original Syrup at the base of the plant once a month. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html

To keep your marriage brimming With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. --Ogden Nash A Word To Husbands

...........Come down off your throne and leave your body alone.........Ginger Baker & Blind Faith …..Can't Find My Way Home

^^^^ Although exact population counts are difficult to ascertain, the scientific community generally agrees that there are somewhere between 55, 000 and 65,000 wild orangutans left.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I feel like Joe blew a big strategic opportunity by not picking Q Anon as his running mate and splitting the Maga vote. --Submitted by mm of ia

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Film & Comic Con – Glasgow (20-21, Glasgow) ...geek out and enjoy... https://www.filmandcomicconglasgow.com/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Digital Summit – Minneapolis (18-19) Where marketers go to stay on top of their game https://minneapolis.digitalsummit.com/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Norman Lear – Near Normal

Senescence begins And middle age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends. --Ogden Nash Crossing The Border

..........Sick of politicians, harassment and laws.........Ginger Baker & Hawkwind …..Psychedelic Warlords

^^^^^ After mating, female orangutans leave the male so there are no orangutan families. The young stay with their mother until they reach around 7 years old. Orangutans generally give birth to a single baby every 7 to 9 years.

My Own Writing of the Week: Emotions &

imagery

festering within.

Tension grasping

shoulders &

neck.

Poems

leaking out

the

fingers. --Leaking by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: Marjorie Taylor Greene: “I like the lights on. I want to stay up later at night. I don’t want to have to go to bed when the sun sets.”

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I saved 10% of my income by switching to Atheism. --The Geico Gecko

Today's Peace of History August 19, 1958: The NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) Youth Council in Oklahoma City, led by Clara Luper, a high school history teacher, began sit-ins to desegregate lunch counters, inspired by success in Wichita, Kansas.

Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental. --Ogden Nash

..........Take a look at an open book.........Ginger Baker's Air Force …..Do What You Like

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle August 20, 2022, gNashed ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. Lawrence, KS

Moonbeam: He looked at me as if I were a side dish he had not ordered. --Ring Lardner

• Cost of War:
• As of 8/18/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $185,562,000,614.
• As of 8/11/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $184,994,099,571.
• As of 8/18/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,077,400,218,735.
• As of 8/11/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,075,811,225,715.
• As of 8/18/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,113,266,788,365.
• As of 8/11/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,112,648,855,340.
• As of 8/18/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,592,232,876,804.
• As of 8/11/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,580,187,147,082.
• As of 8/18/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,977,711,517,536.
• As of 8/11/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,976,505,067,294.
• As of 8/18/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,946,176,767,271.
• As of 8/11/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,930,150,319,726.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

If you can't feed a hundred people, feed just one. --Mother Teresa

Famous Last Words: ...when we hope to be happy again. --John Dryden Troilus And Cressida

..........We will shine our light through the darkest night till the morning........Ginger Baker & BBM .…..Glory Days

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive. --Ogden Nash

May Peace grace your rest

And Joy sing your lullaby

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Once and Future ePistle

Famous First Words: It was a week later. --Somerset Maugham Of Human Bondage

It is International Psychic Week (7-13) I passed a billboard that said “Future Events” and nothing else. It's a sign of things to come. / Phyllis the Psychic met Phillip the Psychic on the street. Phillip remarked that the weather was lovely at the moment and Phyllis said it reminded her of the summer of 2175.

..........They're gonna make a big star out of me.........Buck Owens and Ringo Starr …..Act Naturally

The power of good is shown not by triumphantly conquering evil, but by continuing to resist evil while facing certain defeat. --Edith Hamilton

It is a very pleasant (74°F) Friday morning. The sky has no clouds or jet trails, only beautiful blue expanse. There is no wind to speak of and the trees stand tall and green and still. Puck barks at a Siamese sneaking back home after a night of catting around, a guy emptying his wastepaper basket into the recycle bin, and, of course, squirrels – the root of all evil on earth. A quarrel of sparrows in quarreling and a murder of crows flies high overhead squawking about something. But Puck cuts our walk short and we head back home where the house smells of this morning's coffee and last night's incense. I fix myself a creamy, steamy cup of Joe; ahhhh. Altogether a great morning and best of all, now, I get to write to you.

I foresee your weekend being terrific, ePistlers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: All those galaxies with trillions of planets inside and we ended up on the one with a 40 hour work week.

I just got fired from my online psychic job. I guess it was the right thing because I sure didn't see it coming. / Can my local psychic tell me the password for my google account?

..........If I had his money I could do things my way..........Porter Wagoner …..A Satisfied Mind

Trivia Questions: Happy Vinyl Record Day!

• ^ In what decade was the first vinyl long-playing record launched?
• ^^ The War of the Speeds described format competition between what two speeds and/or companies?
• ^^^ Which speed won the war?
• ^^^^ When did the vinyl revival begin?
• ^^^^^ What is the most expensive vinyl record sold to date?

Big Hello: Gouden Dai – Frisian (Saterland) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Summer isn't over until Sept 22, so sit your pumpkin spice asses down! I'm not finished with my Margarita yet. --Submitted by RHOZ

Image of the Week: This is Kirsten R Yunuba Stephens – my wonderful daughter - and today is her birthday !!!

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 4 in 3 Librarians decided on librarianship as a profession because of the math requirements. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. --Stephen Wright / The Cat Psychic I hired recently told me that my cat was thinking how amazingly gullible I am.

..........A band is blowing Dixie, double-four time.........Dire Straits with Mark Knopfler …..Sultans of Swing

Moonbeam: The easiest thing to do on earth is not write. --William Goldman

Meditation of the Week: What is infinity? --Anaximander (546 BCE)

Puzzle of the Week: Words starting with a "kw-" sound usually start with the letters QU-, as in question, or "KW-," as in Kwanzaa. What common, uncapitalized English word starting with a "kw-" sound contains none of the letters Q, U, K, or W? And there are multiple answers. --NPR Sunday Puzzle 3/13/22

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government is starting to sound pretty good. --Monty Python --Submitted by bc of tx

Week of the Week: World Karaoke Championships (8-14) At any karaoke, the urge to sing The Lion Sleep Tonight is never more than a whim away. / I once had a roommate who was a karaoke singer. I had to ask her to move out. She never knew when to come in and could never find her key.

And then she said, “If you don't quit smoking you'll be dead before you turn 60.” I don't know if she was a psychic or an actuary. / The favorite side dish at the Psychic Club Restaurant is Tarot Tots.

..........Saying “I bid adieu to Molly O”.........The Chieftains & Mark Knopfler …..The Lily of the West

^ In 1931, RCA Victor launched the first commercially available vinyl long-playing record, marketed as program-transcription discs. These revolutionary discs were designed for playback at 33+1⁄3 rpm and pressed on a 30 cm diameter flexible plastic disc, with a duration of about ten minutes playing time per side. These were a commercial flop due to consumer hesitance during the Great Depression and a lack of consumer playback equipment.

Almanac: It is Friday, August 12, 2022. The moon became full (Sturgeon) last night or early this morning (depending on your source) and is in Aquarius. The United Nations has declared this International Youth Day (A/RESZ/54/120). It is also Klondike Gold Day (1896), Sewing Machine Day, Vinyl Record Day, World Elephant Day, and Worldwide Art Day. In Cuba the People's Victory Against Machado Tyranny is celebrated. In Massachusetts and Oklahoma it is Indian Day and in Texas it is Pioneer Day. In Thailand it is the Queen's Birthday. Finally because it is the third Friday it is Kool-Aid Days.

Among those born on this day were ALF (alien life form, 1757), Robert Southey (1774), Robert Mills (1781), Katharine Lee Bates (1859), Jacinto Benavente y Martinez (1866), Edith Hamilton (1867), Cecil B deMille (1881), Erwin Schroedinger (1887), Jane Wyatt (1912), John Derek (1926), Buck Owens (1929), William Goldman (1931), Porter Wagoner (1932), John Poindexter (1936), Mark Knopfler (1949), and Charles E Brady Jr (1951).

On August twelfth Singer patented his sewing machine (1851), the first cargo of lumber left Vancouver (1863), Edison invented the Edisonphone (1877), Hawaii was formally annexed by the US(1898), Of Human Bondage was published (1915), the 9th modern Olympic games closed (Amsterdam, 1928), the minimum wage rose from 75cents to $1 /hour (1955), the last US combat ground troops left Vietnam (1972), and the Space Shuttle Enterprise made its first atmosphere flight (1977).

Night Sky, 8/12: The Perseid meteor shower should be at its peak late tonight, but the light of the Moon, just a day past full, will compromise the view this year. Only the brightest of the meteors will shine through. The shower is most active from 11 or midnight until dawn local time, when your side of Earth faces most directly into the oncoming meteors (i.e., the shower's radiant is highest). http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Fraternal Image of the Week: A Cart of Brothers

This Week: Saturday, August 13 – International Left Handers Day & Global Sleep Under the Stars Night

Sunday, August 14 – Bagel Day & National Navajo Code Talkers Day & World Calligraphy Day

Night Sky, 8/14: Saturn is at opposition tonight, directly opposite the Sun in our sky. So it's highest around the middle of the night. In a telescope, do you notice that Saturn's rings seem a little brighter than usual compared to Saturn's globe? This Seeliger effect is caused by the solid ring particles backscattering sunlight to us when the Sun is almost directly behind us (i.e. Saturn at opposition). The dusty surfaces of the Moon and Mars also display this "opposition surge," but Saturn's clouds do not. In the case of Saturn the effect is named for Hugo von Seeliger, who studied it in detail and published his findings in 1887.

Monday, August 15 – National Leathercraft Day & National Thrift Shop Day

Tuesday, August 16 – National Rollercoaster Day & National Rum Day & Surveillance Day

Wednesday, August 17 – Black Cat Appreciation Day & National Nonprofit Day

Night Sky, 8/17 : Mars rises around midnight or 1 am and stands high in the east-southeast as dawn begins, shining at an impressive magnitude +0.1 between Aries and Taurus. It's twice as bright as similarly colored Aldebaran a fist or so to its east.

Thursday, August 18 – Bad Poetry Day & Serendipity Day

Have you talked to people lately? Believe me, it's much harder than talking to the dead. / Ever notice how you don't see headlines “Psychic Wins Lottery” or “Faith Healer Empties Children's Mercy Hospital”.

..........He's banging on the bongos like a chimpanzee.........Eric Clapton, Phil Collins, & Mark Knopfler …..Money For Nothing

^^ The cutthroat rivalry between RCA Victor and Columbia Records led to the introduction of another competing format by RCA, the 7”/45 rpm Extended Play (EP). The period where both of these formats fought for dominance from 1948-1950 was known as the “War of the Speeds.”

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The word “canadiens” was originally derived from the Mohawk word Kehne ian which means “they sit in our village” it would now translate to squatters. --Jeff Corntassel

Moonbeam: Give me a room whose every nook is dedicated to a book. --Robert Southey

Video of the Week: Willie Nelson – Toby Keith – Scott Emerick Weed With Willie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDQANmQO2g0 (3:25)

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Reports say Warner Brother's movie Batgirl, which is almost completed and cost $90 million to make, will never see the light of day because it is just unfit for human consumption,. ...a coming of age story about batgirl becoming a batwoman at her bat mitzvah. --Negin Farsad Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 8/6/22

Convention is so often a mask for injustice. --Edith Hamilton

When Pryce the Psychic got his new glasses he realized that the visions in his crystal ball weren't all black clouds. / The psychic's favorite dessert is tarot cake.

..........There's a stranger and he's standing at your door.........Van Morrison & Mark Knopfler …..Irish Heartbeat

^^^ Compromise: After a few years of duking it out, the 12”/33 1/3 rpm LP became the predominant format for albums, and the 7” record became the format of choice for singles. EPs offered a similar playtime to the 78 rpm discs, and LPs provided up to 30 minutes of playtime per side. In the early 1960s, consumers caught onto stereo LPs, and conventional mono LPs stopped being manufactured by 1968.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Question 5. An orchestra of 120 players takes 40 minutes to play Beethoven's 9^th Symphony. How long would it take for 60 players to play the symphony?

Weird Word of the Week: Biomimetics – manufacture of new chemical compounds. (a waterproof glue has been developed by studying the natural adhesive produced by mollusks) http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-bio4.htm

Dragon Picture of the Week: Gate in Blaine, MN

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Substitute syrup for sugar when cooking. Use three-quarters cup of Aunt Jemima Original Syrup for each cup of sugar. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/auntjemima.html

Our school district superintendent went to a psychic in hopes of finding out next year's enrollment numbers. Her budgets keep crashing. / There was a psychic dinosaur. It was called tarotdacy

...........The wheel of heaven turns above us endlessly.........Emmylou Harris & Mark Knopfler …..Our Shangri La

^^^^ After decades of music being stored as mp3s and mp4s on computer hard drives, vinyl saw a resurgence in the late 2010s. January 2017 boasted the highest number of vinyl records sold since 1991. 2017 marked the tenth consecutive year of vinyl growth, partially thanks to indie rock, the emergence of more record stores, and the novelty of the format.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing. --Submitted by NS

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: CONvergence 2022 (11-14, Minneapolis, MN) ...the premiere event of our kind in the upper Midwest. https://www.convergence-con.org/

Actual Science Conference of the Week: The Disney Data and Analytics Conference (15, Orlando, FL) ...will provide you with the tools and training to integrate advanced decision-making techniques into business processes https://disneydataconference.com/

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Choir, coif, or croissant

Some friends were at my house and decided to play poker but all they found was my tarot deck. Mary drew to a full house and 3 people died. / I didn't know I was psychic until I recently started having visions of Kansas becoming a leader in the women's rights movement.

..........You'll tell your mama her baby's got good news.........Chet Atkins & Mark Knopfler …..Poor Boy Blues

^^^^^ Perhaps the rarest (and certainly the most expensive) record ever sold was a copy of The Wu-Tang Clan’s 7th studio album, Once Upon a Time in Shaolin. The group recorded the album in secret over six years; the one and only copy sold for $2 million at auction in 2015 with specific contractual terms. It states the album cannot be commercially exploited until 2103; however, the owner (former hedge fund and drug company manager Martin Shkrelican) can release it for free if he chooses.

My Own Writing of the Week: Sure enough, Hades "accidentally" drove by in his emblazoned chariot with a team of pure black stallions frothing from a heavy workout. She flashed her one-sided smile and admired his car. He complimented her on her frock. She batted her eyelashes; he told her that if she'd like, he'd let her hold the reins. The only thing she hadn't planned for was exactly how good a lover he turned out to be--strong but tender, passionate but slow-handed.

Yes, she did eat the pomegranate seeds at his urging. So she had to remain in the underworld for three months each year. It was after an all-night roll beside the river Styx. Besides, no one, not even Hades, knew it but she had contacted the decorator about redoing his Blue Room the day before.

Demeter, of course, was miffed at Persephone for not inviting her to the wedding, but she got over it. And I suppose you've heard about that fight she and Hades had over the bride price. In fact, it wasn't until she let all the foliage die, threatening to wash all the top soil off of his netherworld, that Hades finally gave in and included the chariot and the team.

Naturally, when her first grandchild was born, all bad feelings were forgiven. She even built Hades that little temple in a cave at Eleusis. --from The Seduction of Hades by Christine Smith

Quote of the Week: We must read Paul through the lens of Jesus. Not read Jesus through the lens of Paul. --Submitted by MMS ~~I claim that if there was ever a difference between what Paul said and what Jesus said, the Baptists would go with Paul.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: One great thing about Texas heat...you can guarantee no one is waiting in your back seat to kill you.

Today's Peace of History: August 12, 1995: Thousands demonstrated in Philadelphia and other cities in support of journalist and former Black Panther Mumia Abu-Jamal (on death row for murder since 1982) in the largest anti-death-penalty demonstrations in the U.S. to date.

I'm psychic, did you know? I knew you'd read this. / I recently saw a psychic, a mystic, a palm reader, and a fortune teller all laughing together at something I couldn't understand. It must have been an insight joke.

..........I drank a fifth of courage and walked in.........Porter Wagoner …..Cold Hard Facts Of Life

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle August 12, 2022, Once and Future ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: You see, living an exceptional life isn’t just an opportunity that comes along once in a lifetime. It’s an invitation that awaits us every single day. Every single morning. --Katherine Lee Bates

Cost of War:

• As of 8/11/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $184,994,099,571.
• As of 8/4/22 State Department War Costs since 2001: $184,445,084,374.
• As of 8/11/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,075,811,225,715.
• As of 8/4/22 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,074,277,839,599.
• As of 8/11/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,112,648,855,340.
• As of 8/4/22 Homeland Security since 2001: $1,112,052,588,358.
• As of 8/11/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,580,187,147,082.
• As of 8/4/22 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,568,565,738,467.
• As of 8/11/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,976,505,067,294.
• As of 8/4/22 Military Costs since 2001: $2,975,340,953,312.
• As of 8/4/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,930,150,319,726.
• As of 8/11/22 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,914,685,312,569.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Liberty depends on self-restraint. Freedom is freedom only when controlled and limited. --Edith Hamilton

Famous Last Words: Mr DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up. Gloria Swanson in DeMille's Sunset Boulevard

..........You got me dreamin' those dreams again.........Buck Owens …..Under Your Spell Again

Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than a surprise party. / A psychic predicted that Putin would die on a Ukrainian holiday. “Which one”, he asked. To which the fortune teller replied, “Whenever you die it will be a Ukrainian holiday”.

May Peace define your future

And Joy describe your present

prairie mama

christine

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