Famous First Words: I was twenty years old when they stopped the world war... The first Buck Rogers comic strip 1/7/1929
Happy Old Rock Day! The geologist spent several months in Ireland looking for gemstones. Alas, all he found were sham rocks. / And Old Rockers... Peter Townsend has one of the shortest wills ever written. “Being of sound mind, I spent all the money.” / And Rocking Chairs... I put skates on my rocking chair so I could rock and roll.
..........Now there's only one place that was meant for me........The Band …..Rockin' Chair
Justice, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. --Zora Neale Hurston
It is a frigid Friday morning. 8°F with 7 mph winds have kept us from our morning walk. The neighborhood is peppered with snow – solid on the sidewalks but tucked into the grass in lawns. The sky is laced with fluffy white clouds with the occasional bird flying high in the morning sun. I raise the blinds on my window so I can watch a squirrel chase up and down the willow trunk – perhaps hunting for a hole filled with nuts. The snow has melted off the shed roof but the patio is still snowy with tiny paw prints – Puck and the rabbits that live under the shed. I take a long sip of Cafe Carmel decaf (umm. Earlier in the week I had decided that I liked Vanilla Nut better, but now, I'm not so sure.) and put music on low. Wow, a little incense and I'm in a hippie flashback. Of course, best of all, I get to write to you. Happy New Year, ePistliers
Hope your weekend rocks, ePistliers
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Cutting Libraries in a recession is like cutting Hospitals in a plague. ~~Haven't we done that?
Mountains are made of old rock. They aren't funny; they are hill areas. / Jerry Lee Lewis defined “good old days” as days when I wasn't good and I wasn't old”. / Young man moved to Vermont. Everyday on his way to work he saw an old man sitting on his porch rocking in his rocking chair and smoking his pipe. Everyday. After a few months, he stopped and spoke to the man who only answered in short sentences with short words. Finally he asked, have you spent your whole life sitting on the porch, rocking and smoking? The man answered, “not yet”.
..........On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.........Simon & Garfunkel …..I Am A Rock
Trivia Questions: It's Bald Eagle Appreciation Days !!
^ Do you have any idea what either of the subspecies of the bald eagle are?
^^ Where on earth do bald eagles hang out?
^^^ Bald eagles build the biggest nests. How big are they?
^^^^ Female bald eagles are generally bigger than the males. How much bigger?
^^^^^ How many bald eagles are there in the wild, more or less?
Big Hello: Jó napot kívánok – Hungarian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Max Picture of the Week: Max and the Dog with their respective stockings
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Don't tell me about your childhood problems. I was forced to watch Lawrence Welk as a kid. --Submitted by cj of ks
Meditation of the Week: I'm an evolved chemical byproduct that tragically achieved self awareness. --Submitted by NS
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: 20% of librarian's Christmas spirit is gin. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Joe is like metamorphic rock, he changes under pressure. / Chubby Checker can't remember the words to Oo Oo Oo / A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the US while specific countries do Mo-roccan.
..........Gonna bust this rock, boy, from here to the Macon.........Odetta …..Waterboy
Moonbeam: Maybe journey is not so much a journey ahead, or a journey into space, but a journey into presence. --Nelle Morton
Puzzle of the Week: Take the phrase "sick sunbather." Rearrange the 13 letters to name a famous song from the 1960s. It's a song everyone knows. --NPR Puzzle Sunday 4/10/05
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There's a time each winter when things go from magical to miserable. They call it “January”. --Maxine --Submitted by ab of kc
Week of the Week: National Personal Trainer Awareness Week (1-8) -- I asked a personal trainer, “Do you need to eat eggs to get jacked?” He said, “No, whey!”. / I told my personal trainer he was ripped and so he grabbed a clean shirt.
You can pick up sedimentary rock really cheap; it's on shale. / Elton John says that regular naps can prevent old age, particularly if you take them while driving. / I think my friend might have been married in a rocking chair. He always claims that his wife rocks.
..........If you want to ride, you got to ride it like you find it.........Johnny Cash …..Rock Island Line
^ The bald eagle has 2 subspecies, Southern Bald Eagle (H.I. leucocephalus) and the Northern Bald Eagle (H.I. washingtoniensis).
Almanac: It is Friday, January 7, 2022. The moon will be in the first quarter on Sunday and is in Pisces. It is Harlem Globetrotter's Day, I'm Not Going To Take It Anymore Day, Old Rock Day, Orthodox Christmas, National Bobblehead Day, and National Tempura Day. It is also day one of Bald Eagle Appreciation Days (7-9).
Among those born on this day were Millard Filmore (1800), Adolph Zukor (1873), Zora Neale Hurston (1891), Nella Morton (1905), Butterfly McQueen (Thelma, 1911), Charles Addams (1912), Albert Meltzer (1920), William Peter Blatty (1928), Eldee Young (1936), Paul Revere (1942), Leona Williams (1943), Kenny Loggins (1948), Katie Couric (1957), Kathy Valentine (1959), Nicholas Cage (1964), Doug E Doug (1969), and Dustin Diamond (1977).
On January seventh Boris Godunov seized the Russian throne (1598), Galileo discovered a moon of Jupiter (Io, 1610), Francis Bacon became lord chancellor of England (1618), the typewriter was patented (1714), the first balloon flight across the English Channel took place (1785), the US conducted its first presidential election (1789), the US colonized Liberia (1822), Rossini's Stabat Mater premiered (Paris, 1842), the fountain pen was patented (1890), the Harlem Globetrotters played their first game (Hinckley, IL, 1927), the Orchard Lake Curling Club played its first game (1932), Buck Rogers became the first science fiction comic strip (1929), Tarzan became the first adventure comic strip (1929), the first photos of genes were taken (1949), Hank Snow first appeared on the Grand Ole Opry (1950), Marian Anderson became the first black singer at the Met (1955), first class postage rose from 4 to 5 cents (1963), and the Dance Theatre of Harlem debuted (1966).
Night Sky, 1/7: Mercury is at greatest elongation, 19° east of the Sun. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Image of the Week: Winter Olympics 2022 start in less than a month in Beijing
This Week: Saturday, January 8 – Argyle Day & Eagle Day & Midwife's Day & National Vision Board Day
Sunday, January 9 – Balloon Ascension Day & National Cassoulet Day & National Sunday Supper Day
Night Sky, 1/9: After dinner time now, the enormous Andromeda-Pegasus complex runs from near the zenith way down toward the western horizon. Just west of the zenith, spot Andromeda's high foot: 2nd-magnitude Gamma Andromedae (Almach), slightly orange. Andromeda is standing on her head. About halfway down from the zenith to the west horizon is the Great Square of Pegasus, balancing on one corner.
Monday, January 10 – Bodhi Day & League of Nations Day & Plow Monday
Tuesday, January 11 – Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day & National Poetry at Work Day
Wednesday, January 12 – Kiss A Ginger Day & National Hot Tea Day
Night Sky, 1/12 : Mercury and brighter Venus begin the week very low in the west-southwest in twilight. Mercury, magnitude –0.7, glimmers 7° left of Venus that evening. Then as January gets going, Venus drops away to leave Mercury shining alone, approaching Saturn.
Thursday, January 13 – Korean American Day & Public Radio Broadcasting Day & Rubber Ducky Day
These rocks are gneiss, do not take them for granite. / David Crosby is so old even flowers scare him. / I hooked a stereo up to my recliner. Now it's a rocking chair.
..........Take some time and learn how to play.........The Byrds …..So You Want To Be A Rock'n'Roll Star
^^ The bald eagle's range includes most of Canada and Alaska, all of the contiguous United States, and northern Mexico
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I have CDO. It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order...AS THEY SHOULD BE --Submitted by PsyDe
Moonbeam: And the sad truth is that nobody wants me to write comedy. The Exorcist not only ended that career, it expunged all memory of its existence. --William Peter Blatty
Strange Fact of the Week: Theme parks can snap a crystal-clear picture of you on a roller coaster going 70 mph, but bank cameras can’t get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
Video of the Week: Eagles and their nests https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUg-bNpcVr8
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: That was a man named Scott Kelly. He was speaking on Tuesday right before he headed home after breaking the American record for spending the longest time ever at the International Space Station. Very big deal, we've heard a lot about it. NASA live-streamed the reentry of a spaceship. Millions of Americans tuned in. They mistakenly believed the capsule contained Matt Damon returning from Mars. Damn. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 6/5/16
Learning without wisdom is a load of books on a donkey's back. --Zora Neale Hurston
The athletic geologist was on the cover of Quartz Illustrated. / Bob Dylan is so old his back pages go out more than he does. / My best friend is a rocking chair. We go way back.
..........Where the lemonade springs and the bluebird sings.........Burl Ives …..Big Rock Candy Mountain
^^^ On average, bald eagle nests are 2-4 feet deep and 4-5 feet wide. (see above video of the week)
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I still don't get how anyone thinks homelessness is an issue for the police to solve, instead of an issue for a house to solve. --Submitted by ff of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Abacot – the name of an ancient cap of state worn by the kings of England. https://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-aba1.htm ~~Here's King Henry VI wearing one.
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie with his stocking
Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: after giving it careful thought I have decided to become worse. --Submitted by Nihilistic Shitposters
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a fiberglass bathtub or shower. Sprinkle Arm & Hammer Baking Soda on a damp sponge, scrub, and rinse clean. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/armhammer.html
I like dating geologists; they're very down to earth. / The Rolling Stones are so old that these days all their chairs are rocking. / My electric rocking chair needs an emergency off switch.
...........They all want me to rock them like my back ain't got no bone.........Bonnie Raitt …..Love Me Like A Man
^^^^ Male bald eagles weigh about 25% less than females.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When a cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid, she becomes a Def Leppard --Submitted by RHOZ
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Fan Expo New Orleans (7-9) ...experience the ultimate playground for comics, sci-fi, horror, anime, and gaming. https://fanexpohq.com/fanexponeworleans/
Vintage Players One Liner of the Week: It was me. I let the dogs out.
Actual Science Conference of the Week: World Conference on Soil, Water, Energy and Air (8th, Detroit, MI) --The Organizing Committee welcomes participants from all over the world who are interested in developing professional ties to and/or exploring career opportunities in the region. http://eurasiaweb.com/Conference/28285/EUWCSWEA/
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Sick Sunbather → Back in the USSR
Luke's cousin, Suzy Skywalker was a geologist. She wrote a book on it called May The Quartz Be With You. / Mick Jagger will always live through his music but he would rather be immortal by not dying. / Geologists like to retire to their rocking chairs.
..........Let's call this song exactly what it is..........Aretha Franklin …..Rock Steady
^^^^^ Scientists from the Migratory Bird Program estimate there are about 316,700 bald eagles in the lower 48 states.~~Apparently Canadian eagles don't count.
My Own Writing of the Week: Boring College Boy Archetypes: There was that nice young man from Emporia State whose name I don't remember so I'll call him the farmer.. He was a good Kansas farm boy, a real farmer, not like the hippies that were raised in the suburbs and wanted to “get back to the land”. Bless their hearts, they had no idea how much work that would be. The farmer used to say "Set me free!" when he was running up on euphoria. "O, baby, yes, yes, set me free, yes, set me free!" At the time, I thought I knew what he meant; now, I haven't a clue. We traveled together across Kansas through Oklahoma. I am so sorry I don't remember his name. He was an excellent traveling companion. I hope wherever he is he is free. --from Always Surrender: Memories, Observations, Micro-stories, Fantasies, and Lies from my Life as an Insurgent in the Sexual Revolution
Extra Special Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Someone just called me Normal...I have never been so insulted in my entire life.
Quote of the Week: Why do people say, “Grow some balls?” … Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. --Betty White. ~~Goodbye, Betty, and thanks for all the great television.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Making me laugh so hard that I pee my pants isn't the accomplishment it once was. --Submitted by Thoughts From Aisle 4
Today's Peace of History, January 7, 1971: The US District Court of Appeals ordered William Ruckelshaus, the Environmental Protection Agency's first administrator, to begin the de-registration procedure for DDT so that it could no longer be used
What did the diamond say to the copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don't talc. / Fabian is so old he resents the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated because it has fewer articles to read. / I bought a rocking chair. It keeps playing Black Sabbath.
..........Let me hide myself in thee.........Amy Grant …..Rock of Ages
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle January 7, 2022, Flinty ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: I never learned anything when I was talking. --Katie Couric
Cost of War: As of 1/6/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,939,914,250,810.
As of 12/30/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,938,756,451,329.
As of 1/6/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,093,907,353,403.
As of 12/30/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,092,709,430,830.
As of 1/6/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $167,740,205,350.
As of 12/30/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $167,194,236,876.
As of 1/6/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,027,618,011,594.
As of 12/30/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,026,094,177,894.
As of 1/621 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,214,878,196,642 .
As of 12/30/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,203,318,175,168 .
As of 1/6/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,444,060,054,960.
As of 12/30/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,428,679,774,665.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Grab the broom of anger and drive off the beast of fear. --Zora Neale Hurston
Famous Last Words: ...follow Tarzan into the beckoning jungle! --The last line of the last Tarzan comic strip (7/29/72)
..........In the bosom of Abraham.........Louis Armstrong …..Rock My Soul
I went hiking with my geologist friend. He didn't find a single rock to bring home. I think he wanted it to be boulder. / Willie Nelson is so old he only took up jogging to hear heavy breathing again. / O, no. Someone stole my rocking chair. I'm not going to take this sitting down.
May Peace be your gravel
And Joy be your boulder
prairie mama
christine
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