ePistemic ePistle

 Famous First Words: Along with the Pilgrim Code of Law... Constitution of Connecticut 1639

It's World Logic Day! Logic 101 – Nothing is better than eternal happiness. A cheese sandwich is better than nothing. Therefore, a cheese sandwich is better than eternal happiness. / No one uses logic anymore; I miss the Godel days. / Some people ask ‘why’ to determine a motive, I ask ‘why’ because I don’t believe there’s any logical reason to do anything.” -Nietzsche on the habits of road crossing chickens

..........I got a girl but she won't be true..........Elmore James …..Shake Your Money Maker

Compassion, in which all ethics must take root, can only attain its full breadth and depth if it embraces all living creatures and does not limit itself to mankind. --Albert Sweitzer

It is 4 am on a chilly Friday morning. Puck has been sick. He woke me up at 12:30 to let him out for a long drink and a pee and another long drink. He got in bed with me and coughed and coughed and coughed. Then, he woke me up again a little while ago to let him out again and while I was stumbling around in the dark, I stepped in dog vomit left on the clothes I had taken off and left on the floor by my bed. Puck is sleeping peacefully and I am wide awake, The clothes are rinsed and in the hamper. I just put on a pot of coffee and I'm smoking a joint while I wait. … Meanwhile: Omicron is so ubiquitous in Lawrence that the February Sisters Fiftieth Anniversary program has been postponed until April. That gives me a little more time to find another panelist who was in on the planning. AND We have a new car – brand new white Toyota Corolla. It smells like a new car and it has wonderful technology like a rear view screen when it's in reverse, and a gauge that tells how many miles you can go before you run out of gas. … ahhh. The creamy sweet decaf that soothes the soul and keeps me from yelling at my dog who looks so damned comfortable. Here's to a new day, must get better 'cause it can't get worse; it's only logical.

Hope your weekend goes right through logical to completely awesome, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Teaching is the subtle art of shaping young minds without losing your own.

A professor in a logic class says “Alright class, if you know what 'affirming the consequent” means, then raise your hand. A student raises her hand. The professor says, “Ah, yes. You know what it is?” The student answers, “No, why would you think so?” / Logic: The amount of people who don't know the difference between too and to is two damned high.

..........Great gosh a' mighty my baby tall.........Blue Brothers …..She Caught The Katy

Trivia Questions: Happy International Kite Day! I think the southern hemisphere thought this up – not kite flying weather here. Some statistics to guess at...

^ The fastest recorded speed of a kite?

^^ What is the largest number of kites flown in a single line?

^^^ What is the highest a single kite has ever reached?

^^^^ How big is the world's biggest kite?

^^^^^ How many kites are sold in the US in a year?

Big Hello: Halló – Icelandic https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I think we need to invent a game called shatner: when someone yells “SHATNER” at you, you have to overact whatever you were currently doing.--Submitted by INRITH

Max Picture of the Week: Max and his very first snowman

Meditation of the Week: If there's any real truth, it's that the entire multidimensional infinity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs. --Douglas Adams

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: By weight, a librarian's clothes are 14% pet hair. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Three university employees decided to go to the nude beach. They are a history professor, a political science graduate assistant, and a lecturer in logic. They are sitting in the sand enjoying the sun when they see the dean of the school coming their way. The history teacher and the grad student quickly cover their groins with a newspaper while the logic professor covers his face with his towel. After the dean has passed by, the two ask the logic guy why he covered his face,, “she could clearly see your junk”. The logic lecturer replied, “yeah, but I'm mostly recognized by my face.”

..........It's in him and it got to come out.........John Lee Hooker …..Boogie Chillen

Moonbeam: We work to eat to get the strength to work to eat to get the strength to work. ---John Dos Passos

Puzzle of the Week: This week's challenge comes from listener David Yanover, of South Pasadena, Calif. Take the name of a certain vegetable. Move the 7th, 5th, and 6th letters — in that order — to the front of the word. Phonetically you'll name another vegetable. What vegetables are these? NPR Puzzle Sunday 1/9/22

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Can we get whoever figured out how to mail 20 free AOL CDs to every man, woman, and child in the US out of retirement to get this test distribution thing under control? --Submitted by bd of ny

Week of the Week: National Mocktails Week (9-15) Mocktails: You suck so much, you need a straw. / You're as deep as a kiddie pool

A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. The wife says, 'Is it a boy or a girl?' The logician says, 'Yes.' / Don’t argue with the logic of a sonogram technician: It’s ultrasound.

..........Hidee hidee hidee hi hode hode hode ho.........Cab Calloway …..Minnie The Moocher

^ The fastest recorded speed of a kite is 120+ mph.

Almanac: It is Friday, January 14, 2022. The moon will be full (wolf) on Monday and is in Gemini. It is Bean Day, Caesarean Section Day, International Kite Day, Organize Your Home Day, and World Logic Day.

Among those born on this day were Angelo Notari (1566), Angelo Predieri (1655), Benedict Arnold (1741), Albert Schweitzer (1875), Hugh Lofting (1886), Hal Roach (1892), John dos Passos (1896), Cecil Beaton (1904), William Bendix (1906), Andy Rooney (1919), Guy Williams (1924), Julian Bond (1940), Faye Dunaway (1941), LL Cool J (James Todd Smith, 1968), and Dave Grohl (1969).

On January fourteenth Connecticut adopted its first constitution (1639), the clarinet was invented (Germany, 1690), the US ratified a peace treaty with England ending the Revolutionary War (1783), Maryland ratified the US constitution (1784), the Supreme Court ruled segregation by race on trains unconstitutional (1878), Tosca premiered (1900), Ford opened the first assembly line plant (1914), the Today Show premiered (Dave Garroway & Jack Lescoulie, 1952). Little Richard released Tutti Frutti (1956), first Human Be-In was (San Francisco, 1967), The Blues Brothers movie opened (1980), and The Simpsons premiered (1990).

Night Sky, 1/14: Zero-magnitude Capella high overhead, and equally bright Rigel in Orion's foot, have almost the same right ascension. This means they cross your sky’s meridian at almost exactly the same time: around 9 or 10 pm now, depending on how far east or west you live in your time zone. So whenever Capella passes its very highest, Rigel always marks true south over your landscape, and vice versa. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Alexander Graham Bell created several geometric kites. This is one and this is where you can see pictures of others. Happy International Kite Day

This Week: Saturday, January 15 – Humanitarian Day & National Bagel Day & National Hat Day

Sunday, January 16 – Appreciate A Dragon Day & National Nothing Day & World Snow Day

Night Sky, 1/16: Here it is the coldest very bottom of the year, but the Summer Star, Vega, is still barely hanging in. Look for it twinkling over the northwest horizon during and shortly after nightfall. The farther north you are the higher it will be. If you're as far south as Florida, it's already gone.

Monday, January 17 – Martin Luther King, Jr Day & Judgment Day & Hot Heads Chili Day One

Tuesday, January 18 – National Disc Jockey Day & Pooh Day & Thesaurus Day

Wednesday, January 19 – Popcorn Day & Tin Can Day & World Quark Day

Night Sky, 1/19: Mars, in the feet of Ophiuchus, is low in the southeast in early dawn. It's far and faint at magnitude +1.5. To its right or upper right, Mars-colored Antares twinkles a little brighter at magnitude +1.0. Mars and Antares are nearly 10° apart on the morning of January 8th, widening to 13° by the 15th. Mars is on the far side of its orbit from us, so in a telescope it's just a tiny shimmering blob 4 arcseconds wide.

Thursday, January 20 – Penguin Awareness Day & Camcorder Day & Tech Day

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

..........The time will come when you'll be blue.........Hank Williams …..Your Cheatin' Heart

^^ The largest number of kites flown in a single line is 11,284. The record is held by a Japanese kite maker.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you think things are bad now, rumor has it that the next variant plays the accordion. --Submitted by jm of ??

Moonbeam: Life is to be used, not just held in the hand like a box of bonbons that nobody eats. --John Dos Passos

Strange Fact of the Week: When all this pandemic stuff is over, I still plan to wear a mask. It hides the perpetual look of annoyance I have for most people.

Video of the Week: It is Cuckoo Dancing Week (11-17) which celebrates the comedy of Laurel & Hardy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq9W-3OE5nM

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The first anniversary of a coup attempt is the pipe-bomb anniversary. We expect, based on what happened this week, this to become an annual tradition eventually with lots of bargains at the Macy's Insurrection Day Sale. And all the children waiting for Riot Claus to break a window and storm in with presents. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 1/8/22

I can do no other than be reverent before everything that is called life. I can do no other than to have compassion for all that is called life. --Albert Sweitzer

A Logical Conclusion: They say a camera adds 10 pounds. After my last look in the mirror, I must be under heavy surveillance. / How do you program a computer to make beef stew? You use bullion logic.

..........I'm waiting for your company.........Fats Domino …..I'm Walkin'

^^^ The record for the highest single kite flown is 2801 meters or 12,471 feet.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your pan? You take away their little brooms.

Weird Word of the Week: Backronym: a reverse acronym......A classic example is the Apgar score to test the health of newborns. It was named after physician Virginia Apgar but to help student doctors and nurses remember the system, it has been changed to the acronym “Appearance, Pulse, Grimace, Activity, and Respiration”.

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie ignoring the snowman

Miracle of the Week: Jeff got a doctor's form to get a handicapped card that you can hang on the rear view mirror. We went to the county treasurer's office prepared for a day in the queue. There were 2 clerks, one was talking to a guy who had obviously finished his business and was chatting. The other clerk waved us in, and we were back out on the street in about 10 minutes. Wow!

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean Bathroom Tile. Sprinkle Arm & Hammer Baking Soda on a damp sponge, scrub, and rinse clean. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/armhammer.html

Perfume is a very logical profession. It always makes scents. / Canadian COVID Logic: If I can hit you with a Hockey Stick...(And I will)...you're too close.

...........Playin' games and takin' scores.........Aretha Franklin …..Think

^^^^ The largest kite in the world is the Megabite, 55.22 meters (630 square meters or 6,781.26 square feet) ~~I tried to find a picture of it, but I failed.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Nelson was 5'4” tall. His statue in London is 16' tall. That's Horatio of 3:1.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Chattacon XLVII (14-16, Chattanooga, TN) --Chattacon is a convention for fans of science fiction and fantasy in all media https://chattacon.org/

Vintage Players One Liner of the Week: Sometimes it takes all day for me to get nothing done.

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference & Exhibition on Traditional & Alternative Medicine (14, Miami, FL) a global platform for researchers and academicians to ... nurture new ideas and innovations in science and technology. https://allconferencealert.net/eventdetails.php?id=1507929

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Kohlrabi --> brakohli --> broccoli

I've just discovered that I have a logic fetish. I can't stop coming to conclusions. / My ex told me we broke up because I'm too reliant on logic and refuse to acknowledge my emotions. I told him, correlation is not causation.

..........Rollin', rollin', rollin'..........The Blues Brothers …..Theme from Rawhide

^^^^^ There are over 50 million kites sold in the US every year.

My Own Writing of the Week: Apollo was a nickname I assigned to tall lovers. To some I revealed the sobriquet and with others it was my secret label. I had other lovers that weren't Apollos and weren't tall and I had a couple of tall lovers that did not earn the epithet. I do not know if it was their height that gave the Apollos that extra dollop of sexual zest or if it was their height that gave me an extra dollop of sexual desire; but the tall ones pretty much became Apollo.

I once woke up in the night next to a golden Apollo. He was lean and had golden brown hair just a tad longer than the fashion of the time. He slept beautifully, obviously oblivious of the lure that radiated from him. He practically glowed in the dark with it. I took a moment and propped on my arm to watch and meditate on his breathing. Umm Ummm Um

I thought it would be a delight for him to wake up rock hard in my mouth. So I carefully shifted around under the covers moving slowly and in tiny increments. Then, I began to make love to the source of the lucidly lurid energy. I started slowly from the bottom to the top making it wet, making it hard with my hands and my mouth and finally even with my hair. His cock was long and lean like his body and it responded deliciously.

After a while in this titillating eternity, his body shuttered softly but he did not move. A moment later, I heard his voice and I froze. "Which bounteous gift thou shouldst in bounty cherish...", he was mumbling. Shakespeare, really? Sonnets? Wanting no truck with lit-er-a-ture in the middle of the night or the middle of the blow job, for that matter, I returned to my savory chore and in exactly sixteen easy strokes arrived at the desired result. --from Always Surrender: Memories, Observations, Micro-stories, Fantasies, and Lies from my Life as an Insurgent in the Sexual Revolution

Quote of the Week: The border between the Real and the Unreal is not fixed, but just marks the last place where rival gangs of shamans fought each other to a standstill. --Robert Anton Wilson --Submitted by MMS

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Bats now use the term “Trumpshit Crazy” --Submitted by jm or??

Today's Peace of History, January 14, 1941: Philip Randolph, president of the Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters union, and widely considered de facto chief spokesperson for the African-American working class, called for a march on Washington, demanding racial integration of the military and equal access to defense-industry jobs.

Fiction Logic: How many anime dudes does it take to change a lightbulb? One... But it takes him 10 damned episodes./ What's the most logical building in the USA? The US Mint.. it makes a lot of cents.

..........Baby, don't you want to go.........The Blues Brothers …..Sweet Home Chicago

Masthead of the Week: Friday January 14, 2022, ePistemic ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: If there is a special Hades for writers it would be in the forced contemplation of their own works. --John Dos Passos

Cost of War:

As of 1/13/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,939,914,250,810.

As of 1/06/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,941,101,147,060.

As of 1/13/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,093,907,353,403.

As of 1/06/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,094,515,254,907.

As of 1/13/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $168,299,846,283.

As of 1/06/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $167,740,205,350.

As of 1/13/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,029,182,240,182.

As of 1/06/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,027,618,011,594.

As of 1/13/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,226,726,589,146 .

As of 1/06/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,214,878,196,642 .

As of 1/13/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,459,827,585,773.

As of 1/06/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,444,060,054,960.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The demands of Jesus are difficult because they require us to do something extraordinary. At the same time He asks us to regard these [acts of goodness] as something usual, ordinary.compassion for all that is called life. --Albert Sweitzer

Famous Last Words: Peace. --Dave Garroway sign off for the Today Show

..........Bugsy turned to Shifty and he said, “Nix nix” …......The Blues Brothers with James Brown, Cab Calloway, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin and the “crew” …..Jailhouse Rock ~~All of today's songs are from The Blues Brothers soundtrack.

Logical fallacies are annoying. Therefore, people that don't know about them are annoying. / I must have a fetish for circular logic because I just came to this conclusion.

May Peace quiet your soul

And Joy color your mind

prairie mama

christine

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