Famous First Words: Truckin', got my chips cashed in..... Truckin' Garcia and Weir
Best Jokes from January 2021 ePistles: A mob of the MAGA persuasion...Conducted a statehouse invasion... Though heavily armed...They parted unharmed...And that's how you know they're Caucasian. --Submitted by rhb of ks / Reason to fall in love with a Black Hole: A black hole will keep your secrets to itself, forever. / I'm staying up on New Year's Eve this year. Not to see the New Year in but to make sure this one leaves. --Submitted by INRITH
..........trying to be everybody else.........Odetta …..Hit Or Miss
Christine's Universal Theorems: 1) Fear Not
Better than a thousand hollow words, is one that brings peace. --Buddha
It is a beautiful Friday morning, The temperature has risen to 45°F with a light breeze. The sky is a clear azure with white clouds in fluffs and streams looking like Bob Ross painted them there; except they are wafting north by northeast in an unhurried trip to the new year. Three lines of ducks fly high overhead going west towards the lake. They are so noisy Puck stops and complains to them, but they just fly on. Or, maybe, they are complaining about him. When the sun peeks out, the white cloud edges glow almost golden. Dogs are barking but not Puck, that's unusual. He is busy sniffing every object laying on the greenish brown lawns...a smashed juice bottle, a colorful piece of cloth, a pile of kindling wrapped in twine. Such a lovely last day of 2021; it's as if the year is trying to redeem itself at the last minute. When we get back home, Puck settles into a first nap and I fix myself a cup of Vanilla Nut decaf (not hazel nut as I mistakenly wrote before). It smells of vanilla and cream; the steam gives my whole face a warm lift. Best of all, now I get to sit down to write to you.
Happy New Year, ePistliers.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Year: Nobody claim 2022 as “your year”. We're all going to walk in real slow. Be good. Be quiet. Be cautious and respectful. Don't touch anything. --Submitted bu of ks
February 2021: The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. --Ellen DeGeneres / A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.” / My New Year's Resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about new year's resolutions.
..........Been working on the railroad, dollar and dime a day.........Odetta …..Muleskinner Blues
Christine's Universal Theorems: 2) All you have to do is straighten up
Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to Jule Styne Can you name these Styne songs from the lyrics?
^ A kiss on the hand might be quite continental but ...
^^ ...I'd jump in the air and give all my toe shoes to you
^^^ ...before you came my time was running low
^^^^ ...Make just one someone happy
^^^^^ Since we've no place to go...
Questions from 2021 and before: Does the UK not pay it's prime minister enough money to get a decent haircut?
Hello: Nyob zoo – Hmong (Vietnam, Thailand & Laos) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Year: The fact that 2021 is already over is proof that time also flies when you are NOT having fun. --Submitted by aeb of kc
Max Picture of the Year: Max making the letter O
Advice for the New Year: Remember to poop before midnight tonight. You don't want to carry any of this shit into the new year. --Submitted by RHOZ
Fake Library Statistic of the Year: During the winter 18% of librarians go outside during their lunch break to warm up. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
March 2021 - One day two spinach leaves, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over. The uninjured spinach leaf called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured spinach leaf was taken to the hospital and rushed into surgery. After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured spinach leaf, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through." "The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life". / It is rumored that in Kansas there are still people standing on the front porch from Thanksgiving saying good-bye to relatives --Submitted by RHOZ
..........Gonna bust this rock, boy, from here to the Macon..........Odetta …..Waterboy
Christine's Universal Theorems: 3) There is a price for enlightenment; what you pay is attention
Moonbeam: Don't fight the problem, decide it. --George C Marshall
Meditation Seed of the Year: What did your pet name you?
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Year: I don't want to end the year on bad terms with anyone...so apologize to me. --Submitted by INRITH
Week of the Year: It's About Time Week (25-31) –Last minute goals, deadlines, and inspirations: The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline. No one remembers where this tradition originated but every year it attracts many tourists from all over the world.
April 2021 – There are two million interesting people in New York and only eighty-eight in Los Angeles. --Neil Simon / May 2021 - The new restaurant has a science fiction theme. I was served by Darth Waiter. / I put my 2022 calendar in the freezer tonight so the year will start out cool.
..........I'd lark about them settlements and wear them foreign clothes.........Odetta …..If I Had A Ribbon Bow
Christine's Universal Theorems: 4) The only time you have is now
^ Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend written with Leo Robin for Gentlemen Prefer Blonds
Almanac: It is Friday, December 21, 2021. The moon will be new on Monday and is moon will be new on Sunday and is in Sagittarius. It is First Nights, Hogmanay, Make Up Your Mind Day, New Years Eve, Universal Hour of Peace Day, World Healing Day, and World Peace Meditation Day. Because it is the last business day of the year it is also No Interruptions Day.
Among those born on this day were Bonnie Prince Charlie (1720), Max Fiedler (1859), Robert G Aitken (1864), Henri Matisse (1869), George Marshall (1880), Colin G Fink (1881), Jule Styne (1905), Marko Rothmuller (1908), Rocky Graziano (1921), Sidney Greenbaum (1929), Odetta (1930), Anthony Hopkins (1937), Ben Kingsley (1943), Diane von Furstenberg (1946), Val Kilmer, and Bebe Neuwirth (1959),
On December thirty first Willem van Orange demanded freedom of conscience and religion (1564), ~~from whom did he demand this
On December thirty first the British East India Company was chartered (1600), France & Brandenburg signed a secret treaty (1669), France & England signed the Boyne-Treaty (1670), James Bradley reported discovery of the Earth's wobble (motion of nutation, 1744), the Mozart family moved from Vienna to Salzburg (1762), Rhode Island established wage and price controls (1776), the first US bank (Bank of North America) opened (1781), all Northern states banned import of African slaves (1783), Alabama became the first state to license dental surgeons (1841), West Virginia was admitted to the Union (1862), the incandescent lamp was demonstrated to the public for the first time (1879), Ellis Island opened as a US immigration depot (1890), Boers & British signed a peace treaty (1902), the ball in Time Square dropped for its first New Year (1907), Marie Curie received her second Nobel (1911), the last fire horse was retired (San Francisco, 1921), Hubble announced the existence of distant galactic systems (1924), Charles Darrow patented Monopoly (1935), Truman announced the end of WWII (1946), The Beach Boys performed publicly for the first time (1961), Jerry Garcia and Bob Weir played together for the first time (1963), the US left UNESCO (1984), and the Sci-Fi channel began transmitting (1990).
Night Sky, 12/31: After the noise and cheering at the turning of midnight tonight, step outside into the silent, cold dark. Shining high in the south will be Sirius, with the other stars of Canis Major to its right and below it. Sirius is the bottom star of the bright, equilateral Winter Triangle. The others are Betelgeuse in Orion's shoulder to Sirius's upper right, and Procyon the same distance to Sirius's upper left. The Triangle stands upright, just about in balance. Happy New Year. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Image of the Year: Last January's COVID Memorial
This Week: Saturday, January 1 – New Year's Day & Humane Day & Copyright Laws Day
Sunday, January 2 – National Buffet Day & National Science Fiction Day & World Introvert Day
Night Sky, 1/2: The Quadrantid meteor shower will peak overnight on January 2 (the morning of January 3). The new moon aligns with the peak activity. The Quadrantids have a zenithal hourly rate of 120 in a dark sky.
Monday, January 3 – JRR Tolkien Day & Festival of Sleep Day
Tuesday, January 4 – Tom Thumb Day & Trivia Day & World Braille Day
Wednesday, January 5 – Bird Day & Monopoly Game Day & Twelfth Night
Night Sky, 1/5: In January the bowl of the Little Dipper hangs straight down from Polaris around 8 or 9 pm, as if from a nail on the cold north wall of the winter sky
Thursday, January 6 – Epiphany aka Three Kings Day & National Shortbread Day & National Technology Day
June 2021 - Duct Tape: It can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound. / July 2021 - It was recently discovered that the hieroglyphs in King Tut's tomb were actually Egypt's Medicare drug plan. / Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year's Eve. It's December 31st.
..........And that's where the trouble and the bubbling start.........Odetta …..Shame And Scandal
Christine's Universal Theorems: 5) It's all in your mind, you know
^^ If Momma Was Married written with Stephen Sondheim Gypsy
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Year: If President Biden declared breathing mandatory, half of Texas would suffocate itself on purpose. --Erin Gloria Ryan --Submitted by ss of kc
Moonbeam: Now is the time to become a myth. --Diane Von Furstenberg
Advise for the New Year: There are so many paths to contentment if you are open to self-delusion. --Submitted by MMS
Video of the Year: New Year's Day song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyJlnbn4xGc
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Year: Ollie with his Boris Johnson hairdo
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Year: And thanks as always to our fake audience, who, frankly, I'm getting so reliant on that now I play their applause when I successfully get dressed every day. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 12/25/21
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. --Buddha
August 2021 - I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you. / Little known fact: King Tut's mummy was wearing fruit-of-the-tomb underwear. / January 1st is when all the catepillers turn over a new leaf.
..........And the walls come tumblin' down.........Odetta …..Joshua
Christine's Universal Theorems: 6) Resist not evil
^^^ Just In Time with Adolph Green and Betty Comden Bells Are Ringing
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Year: Don't believe what you see in cartoons. No matter how hard you throw it a plunger will not stick to someone's face. Don't ask me how I know this. --Submitted by INRITH
Collective Nouns of the Year: A shrewdness of apes and a obstinacy of buffalo
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Boost the strength of liquid laundry detergent. Add one-half cup Arm & Hammer Baking Soda with the usual amount of detergent in your regular wash cycle. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/armhammer.html
Puzzle of the Year: This challenge came from listener Greg VanMechelen of Berkeley, Calif. Take the name of a well-known artist. The first name can be divided to form two common words that are synonyms. The last name can be anagrammed to form an antonym of those two words. Who is the artist, and what are the words? NPR Puzzle Sunday 12/26/21
September 2021 - In the World of Punctuation, Asterisks give a party. The party is for Asterisks only, and only Asterisks can enter. At some time the doorbell rings. One Asterisk opens the door and sees a Dot. The Asterisk says to the Dot: "I'm sorry, you cannot enter, this party is for Asterisks only" And the Dot says: "Idiot, it's me, Starburst. I put gel in my hair!" / Putin should declare a slightly larger marine sanctuary than ours, sparking an environmentalist “arms race” that ends with a clean unpolluted Earth. / Gluten free, diary free, fat free...the New Year's Champagne Diet.
...........I dreamed I was coming home from sea..........Odetta …..Lowlands
Christine's Universal Theorems: 7) All you need is love
^^^^ Make Someone Happy with Adolph Green and Betty Comden Do Re Mi
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Year: My son asked me if the letter W started with D. I can't stop thinking about it. --Submitted by RHOZ
Science Fiction Convention of the Year: There are no conventions this weekend – not even on Science Fiction Day
Name That Poet of the Year: All my undone actions wander naked across the calendar...
Actual Science Conference of the Year: International Conference on Animal Cloning and Transgenic Animals (30-31, Paris France) practical challenges encountered and solutions adopted … https://waset.org/animal-cloning-and-transgenic-animals-conference-in-december-2021-in-paris
Answer to Puzzle of the Year: Diego Rivera → Die, Go, Arrive
October 2021 - Does Pumpkinhead drink human spiced lattes? / October is Learn To Bowl Month. Bowling is the ideal sport. It's basically an hour of drinking beer occasionally interrupted by 6 seconds of exercise. / Here's to 2022 ! At least it can't be much worse.
..........When I laid my burden down.........Odetta …..Glory Glory
Christine's Universal Theorems: 8) We are all one
^^^^^ Let It Snow Let It Snow Let It Snow with Sammy Cahn ...because they were in California and missed winter
My Own Writing of the Year: fierce...howling...chapping...rattling Canyon winds terrorize toddlers and bite the skin of all living things. --from Canyon Winds Salt Lake City
Poet of the Year: December 31 by Robert Hoffman
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Year: To everyone who received a book from me for Christmas, -- Head's Up they're due back on January 5th.
Today's Peace of History:, December 31, 1915: The U.S. branch of the International Fellowship of Reconciliation (FOR) was founded.
November 2021 - A monk who gets a philosophy degree is called a deep friar. / When Pierce Polar Bear learned that the Antarctic was not the same as the Arctic, he was stunned. He'd never heard of polar opposites. / Stir the eggnog. Lift the toddy. Happy New Year, Everybody.
..........Hadn't said a single word, she'd kicked up her heels and started.........Odetta …..Devilish Mary
Christine's Universal Theorems: 9) Who draws water must adorn the well
Masthead of the Year: Friday ePistle December 31, 2021, Hogmanay ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: I travel light. I think the most important thing is to be in a good mood and enjoy life, wherever you are. --Diane Von Furstenberg
Cost of War:
As of 12/30/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,938,756,451,329.
As of 12/23/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,937,575,675,806.
As of 12/30/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,092,709,430,830.
As of 12/23/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,093,314,311,710.
As of 12/30/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $167,194,236,876.
As of 12/23/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $166,637,371,624.
As of 12/30/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,026,094,177,894.
As of 12/23/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,024,538,770,275.
As of 12/30/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,203,318,175,168 .
As of 12/23/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,191,525,019,174 .
As of 12/30/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,428,679,774,665.
As of 12/23/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,412,991,947,553.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
Resolutely train yourself to attain peace. --Buddha
Christine's Universal Theorems: 10) It's a dying empire, enjoy
….......I don't want your corn bread and molasses..........Odetta …..Take This Hammer
December 2020 - Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway? / Thanks for making the longest night of the year longer by explaining why it's the longest night of the year. / Here's to 2022 - Hope it's not 2020 too.
Famous Last Words: Grrrrrrrr – Chewbacca..........The final line of the first Star War movie released which was the first program aired on the Sci Fi Channel
May Peace define your year
And Joy fill every day
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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