Famous First Words: The Jews, as a class, violating every regulation of trade established by the Treasury Department, and also Department orders, are hereby expelled from the Department. --Gen Grant's Order #11 1862
Io, Saturnalia ! Once upon a time Saturnalia was led by the Lord of Misrule. But now that we've seen a Trump administration, we're not into that anymore. / Saturnalia is a time of causing mischief and creating chaos...so it's been replaced by the average office Christmas party.
..........I don't care about no cake.........Albert King …..Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin'
Don't search for anything except peace. Try to calm the mind. Everything else will come on its own. --Baba Hari Das
It is a chilly Friday morning. I have returned from my doctor's appointment. (He said if it's not kryptonite I'm good to go.) I came and went on the newly paved Brush Creek without needing to climb a short wall to get to the paved lane. When I left it was sunny. When I got out at the doctor's it was cloudy and dark and kind of cold. But now the sun is out again in a sky rampant with white bushy clouds. Puck is laying on his bed sleeping away; his breathing competes with the whir of the computer and the clip of fingers on a keyboard. I am drinking hazelnut cream decaf – a Christmas present – and it's delicious. It makes me feel as if I am already celebrating Christmas. I hold the cup to my face and breathe in the nutty, coffee steam. Ahh! Best of all, now, I get to write to you.
Hope this weekend is the most mischief you've made all year, ePistliers.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A pun has not matured until it's full groan. --Submitted by ma of va
Saturnalia is often characterized by drunkenness: Charles Dickens always drank martini's on Saturnalia. Sometimes with an olive and other times with a twist. / For Saturnalia the Russians mix Holy Water with their vodka. They call it “holy spirit”.
..........love you baby, tell you the reason why.........Butterfield Blues Band …..Shake Your Moneymaker
Trivia Questions: Happy Wright Brothers Day !
^ How come Orville and not Wilbur was the pilot on December 17, 1903?
^^ What businesses did the brothers try before flying?
^^^ When was the only time the brothers flew together?
^^^^ What was the name of that very first plane?
^^^^^ Which astronaut carried what part of the original plane into space?
Big Hello: Mono – Himba (Namibia) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: One way to find out if you're old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young. If they panic, you're old. --Submitted by FNOG
Max Picture of the Week: Max in the Tickle Pile
Fake Library Statistics of the Week: By Sunday evening 59% of librarians are eager to get back to work, but only because they finished all the books they have checked out. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Saturnalia is known for singing: No emergency room in this tomb –Marilyn Manson Saturnalia / Well I drank till I stumbled, I drank till I fell. --Kenny Chesney Being Drunk's a Lot Like Loving You
..........where all the girls and guys be.........Albert King …..Blues Power
Moonbeam: Beauty seen is never lost, God's colors all are fast. --John Greenleaf Whittier
Meditation Seed of the Week: If after dying, you can come back as any living thing other than a human, what would you choose?
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What if the coins you find at the bottom of drawers and in couch cushions are actually spiders trying to pay rent. --Submitted by PsyDe
Week of the Week: Posadas (16-24) --An old Jewish man walked into the Bethlehem Hilton and asked to rent a room. The clerk said, "Sorry, no vacancies." The man pointed at a couple who were checking out and asked, "What about their room?" "Sorry," the clerk said, "this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed." The old man, looking to have a little fun, said "What makes you think I'm a Jew? I'm actually Catholic." The clerk says, "Catholic, eh? Tell me then, did God have a son?" "Sure," the old Jew says, "Name of Jesus." "And where was He born?" "In Bethlehem, in a manger." "And why was He born in a manger?" pressed the clerk. "Because a schmuck like you wouldn't rent him a room!"
There was a lot of joke telling during Saturnalia. Here one actually from ancient Rome: A man, standing before a judge, is about to testify, whether he has a wife. The judge asks: Do you have, in all honesty, a wife surely do, but not in all my honesty.
..........I've done more than a Clear Thinking man.........Butterfield Blues Band …..Mary Mary
^ The brothers tossed a coin to see who would first pilot the plane. Older brother Wilbur won the toss, but his first attempt on December 14, 1903, was unsuccessful and caused minor damage to the aircraft. Three days later, Orville, in coat and tie, lay flat on his stomach on the plane’s lower wing and took the controls.
Almanac: It is Friday, December 17, 2021. The moon will be full (Cold) tomorrow and is in Gemini. It is Saturnalia, A Christmas Carol Day (Story), Clean Air Day, Wright Brothers Day, and Pan American Aviation Day. In Colombia it is Independence Day (1819) and in Venezuela it is Bolivar Day (1830). Because it is the third Friday it is also National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day and Underdog Day.
Among those born on this day were Ruprecht (1619), Johann Friedrich Schubert (1770), Humphrey Davy (1778), Joseph Henry (1797), John Greenleaf Whittier (1807), John Kerr (1824), Arthur Fiedler (1894), David Butler (1895), Erskine Caldwell (1903), Willard Frank Libby (`1908), William Safire (1929), Cal Ripken Sr (1935), Tommy Steele (1936), Eddie Kendricks (Temptations, 1939), Paul Butterfield (1942), Jack Chalker (1944), Ernie Hudson (1945), Eugene Levy (1946), Bill Pullman (1954), and Albert King (1959).
On December seventeenth France recognized the independence of the English colonies in America (1777), NYC created the first one-way street in the new world (1791), Kentucky established a debtors prison (1821), General Grant issued order #11 expelling Jews from Tennessee (1862), the Anti-Saloon League of America was founded (1895), the first diesel electric locomotive went into service (1924), On the Beach premiered on both sides of the Iron Curtain (1959), the Astrodome opened with a concert by Judy Garland and the Supremes (1965), and John Paul Stevens was appointed to the Supreme Court (1975).
Special Event of the Week: The Guzman Prize was created on this day in 1900; the first person to establish interplanetary communication would be awarded 100,000 francs, under one stipulation: Mars was excluded because Madame Guzman thought communicating with Mars would be too easy to deserve a prize.
Night Sky, 12/17: Have you ever watched a Sirius-rise? Find an open view right down to the east-southeast horizon. Watch there for Sirius to come up about two fists at arm's length below Orion's vertical Belt. Sirius rises sometime around 8 p.m. depending on your location. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Image of the Week: The chemist's Christmas Tree
This Week: Saturday, December 18 – Answer The Telephone Like Buddy The Elf Day & Arabic Language Day
Sunday, December 19 – National Hard Candy Day & National Oatmeal Muffin Day
Night Sky, 12/19: As twilight fades out this evening, use binoculars or a telescope to try for Comet Leonard 5° below Venus in the southwest. It should still be about magnitude 6. Good luck.
Monday, December 20 – Games Day & Mudd Day & Poet Laureate Day
Tuesday, December 21 – World Day of Peace & Winter Solstice & Crossword Puzzle Day
Night Sky, 12/21: The annual Ursid meteor shower peaks around the December solstice, which, in 2021, comes on December 21. The Ursids’ peak is probably the morning of December 22. But, the full moon comes on December 18-19. So there will be a bright moon in the morning sky, during the Ursids 2021 peak. Still, if past experience is any indication, you might see an Ursid meteor or two streaking along in the moonlight.
Wednesday, December 22 – Be A Lover Of Silence Day
Thursday, December 23 – Festivus & Human Light Celebration & Family Roots Day
Gag gifts were a part of the Saturnalia celebration: Toilet Golf Set: This golf set is perfect for keeping bathroom occupiers...occupied. / Bacon air freshener with a sizzling bacon aroma.
..........I'm tired of whoopin' and hollerin'.........Albert King …..Cadillac Assembly Line
^^ In 1889 the Wright brothers began to publish a weekly newspaper, the West Side News. The following year, they published a short-lived daily newspaper, The Evening Item. In 1892 they switched gears and opened the Wright Cycle Company, a successful bicycle repair and sales shop that financed their flying experiments.
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Please stop asking Santa for the perfect woman. 3 times he's tried to kidnap me this week. --Submitted by RHOZ
Moonbeam: Nobody stands taller than those willing to stand corrected. --William Safire
Video of the Week: The Feast of Saturnalia – A Roman Slave's Carol...featuring the Seven Days of Saturnalia ...two pointy hats and a chance to pretend I am free ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwQyNFg2_ms
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie and Santa did fine – it's the paparazzi that made him cry
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Jenna Ryan...live streamed herself breaking into the capitol and bragging that she would never go to jail. She has managed to keep up that brass can-do attitude while she prepares for her 90 day stint in jail which she calls a “freedom cleanse". “I'm gonna be able to work out a lot and do a lot of yoga and detox.” She's gonna be so disappointed when she finds out that the only group fitness they have is knife fights. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, 12/11/21
Peace begins with a smile. --Mother Teresa
Feasting was a huge part of Saturnalia: This turkey tastes awful. Well, you asked for a foul roast. / What's the best thing to put into a Saturnalia cake? Your teeth
..........You wiggle wiggle here, you wiggle wiggle there.........Butterfield Blues Band …..Mellow Down Easy
^^^ Orville and Wilbur had promised their father, who feared losing both sons in an airplane accident, they would never fly together. The father made a single exception, however, on May 25, 1910, and allowed the brothers to share a six-minute flight near Dayton with Orville piloting and Wilbur the passenger. After landing, Orville took his 82-year-old father on his first and only flight. As Orville gained elevation, his excited father cried out, “Higher, Orville, higher!”
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The wind stopped blowing in Kansas once; we all fell down. --Submitted by RHOZ
Collective Nouns of the Week: An exaltation of larks and a shower of meteorologists
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove tarnish from silver. Mix a thick paste of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda with water, apply to the silver with a damp sponge, rub, rinse, and buff dry. https://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/armhammer.html
Puzzle of the Week: Last week's challenge came from listener Tom Bible, of Cincinnati. Think of a word to describe a single animal. Change the third letter to get a word that describes the plural of that animal. Both are nouns, and neither word contains an "s." NPR Sunday Puzzle 12/12/21
Wait, you're sitting in front of a dead tree eating candy out of a sock, and you claim Saturnalia is a strange holiday? / Don't you think wine-induced orgies would make the season more festive?
...........I'm just looking for my sweet babe.........Albert King …..Stormy Monday
^^^^ The brothers made four flights in the Wright Flyer on December 17, 1903, and as Orville and Wilbur stood discussing the final flight, a sudden strong gust of wind caught hold of the aircraft and flipped it several times. The aircraft sustained such heavy damage to its ribs, motor and chain guides that it was beyond repair. The Wright Flyer was carted back to Dayton and never flew again.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When is the Christmas Party for Self-Check at Walmart?
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: DisCon III (15-19, D.C.) The 79th World Science Fiction Convention https://discon3.org/
Name That Poet of the Week: It is the middle of December, the nights are longer, the weather is colder, winter comes...
Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Electrical Engineering and Control Technologies: (16-18, Macau, China) organized by Asia Pacific Institute of Science and Engineering(APISE), supported by Auckland University of Technology https://10times.com/e1s3-x5rs-0rr6 ~~The most interesting thing about this conference is its strange web address.
Vintage Player's One Liner of the Week: Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
If you want to put Christ back in Christmas, can you, please, take it out of Saturnalia. / She was wearing antlers for 'Saturnalia', and upon receiving a compliment for it, she said, "Thank you, I'm trying to branch out."
..........Oh, you know, it has been such a long journey.........Butterfield Blues Band …..One More Mile
^^^^^ When another aeronautical pioneer from Ohio, Neil Armstrong, became the first man to step foot on the moon in 1969, inside his space suit pocket was a piece of muslin fabric from the left wing of the original 1903 Wright Flyer along with a piece of wood from the airplane’s left propeller.
My Own Writing of the Week: Pooh Bear, my first husband, and I were married in 1965, just a few years before the summer of love. We had an "open" marriage. Which meant that we could sleep with anyone we wanted to. Pooh Bear was a wonderful father. I had friends who dreaded leaving their children with their exes over a weekend. Afraid. Pooh Bear was a much better father than I was a mother. When our first was crawling and climbing and learning, Pooh would sit on the staircase while he studied with one hand on the kid's butt. He had that kind of patience. He wasn't the perfect father; but he was really good. I have no anger over our sexual exploits during this marriage. We were looking for new ways to relate, new ways to run the world, ways that were more egalitarian and shared the pains and pleasures of life among us all. We were bright and both learned a lot. We both went on to have productive lives. It was an interesting first act. --from Husbands – Mine and Other People's
Poet of the Week: Selena Fox Saturnalia Poem
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Ecology without Class Struggle is just Gardening. --Chico Mendes --Submitted by MMS
Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Head (as in cattle) --> Herd
Today's Peace of History, December 17, 1990: Jean-Bertrand Aristide, a radical Roman Catholic priest and opponent of the dictatorship of Jean-Claude Duvalier who had been deposed in 1986, was elected president in the first free election in Haiti's history.
Saturnalia was often characterized by role reversal (adult/child, servant/master): Hello, 1950s? You left your oppressive gender roles in our century. Can you come and pick them up? / In an unsettling reversal of my teenage years, I am now yelling at my parents for going out.
..........My baby's lovin' cause the sun to shine.........Albert King …..Pride and Joy
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle December 17, 2021, Saturnial ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Strange Fact of the Week: Covid-19 Fact: 87% of gym members don’t even know their gym is closed.
Moonbeam: Though it sometimes looks like a rich man will never help the poor; whereas the poor people will give away everything they have to help somebody who ain't got nothing. That's how it looks to me. Don't seem like it ought to be that way, but I reckon the rich ain't got no time to fool with us poor folks.” --Erskine Caldwell
Cost of War:
As of 12/16/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,936,378,997,958.
As of 12/09/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,935,198,721,481.
As of 12/16/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,092,096,596,936.
As of 12/09/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,091,491,955,150.
As of 12/16/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $166,073,110,623.
As of 12/09/21 State Department War on Terror Costs since 2001: $165,516,531,761.
As of 12/16/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,022,962,910,144.
As of 12/09/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $1,021,407,997,549.
As of 12/16/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,179,584,236,613 .
As of 12/09/21 Veterans Care since 2001: 2,167,794,898,032 .
As of 12/16/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,397,097,854,512.
As of 12/09/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $7,381,412,998,511.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory. --J Donald Walters
Famous Last Words: Oh, why don't you believe... The Temptations My Girl
..........That train don't stop here anymore.........Butterfield Blues Band …..Mystery Train
Let's keep Saturn in Saturnalia...and may we always keep the Yule in Yuletide!
May Peace be your reason
And Joy be your season
prairie mama
christine
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