Insured ePistle

 Famous First Words: RESOLVED, That Richard M. Nixon... Articles of Impeachment 1974

Happy Birthday, Medicare !! My meds: This one is for a good night's sleep and this one is for the headaches I get trying to understand the medicare drug plan. / Medicare Advice: Get sick now, before the republicans take away Medicare.

..........Honey in the mornin', honey in the evenin', honey at suppertime.........McGuire Sisters …..Sugartime

Born in iniquity and conceived in sin, the spirit of nationalism has never ceased to bend human institutions to the service of dissension and distress. --Thorstein Veblen

It is a muggy Friday morning (81°, 75% RH). The sky is crisscrossed with thin lines of clouds that are most likely decaying jet trails. Sunlight brightens everything it touches. Birds flit about and call to one another and rabbits run ahead of us and hide under cars. Puck barks at a couple and then gives it up for smelling grass and every piece of litter than he passes. There is little wind to cool the brow or kiss the cheek. Earth smells of dryness and heat. We walk to the end of the block, but Puck does not wade into the weeds in the park. Instead, he turns around and heads back home. Once we stop and bark at a phantom in a neighbor's yard. Nothing moves there. We step into coolness. The new air conditioner has tamed the 48 hours of warmth that built up. Ahh. I doctor my decaf and sit down at my computer. Puck lies down at my feet. A long warm gulp of coffee slides down my throat and I am ready to write to you.

Hope your weekend is friendly and then some, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What if UFOs are just billionaires from other planets? --Submitted by mh

I'm so sorry, but Medicare will only pay to cut out 98% of your tumor. If you want me to remove it all, I'll need to run your credit card for the difference. / Play Prescription Drug Twister –-The fun new Medicare game.

..........You share my reverie.........Paul Anka …..You Are My Destiny

Trivia Questions: Happy Anniversary to Richard Nixon's Impeachment. A Memory Quiz

^ Who was “Deep Throat” really?

^^ Who first said the famous line: “What did the president know and when did he know it”?

^^^ What event became known as the Saturday Night Massacre?

^^^^ Who let it slip to senate investigators that Nixon recorded everything?

^^^^^ In what year did Ford pardon Nixon?

Big Hello: Ola- Extremaduran (Extremaduran is a Romance language spoken in western Spanish, mainly in the autonomous community of Extremadura, and in neighboring parts of Salamanca, Toledo, Ciudad Real, Córdoba and Huelva. It is also spoken in Barrancos in Portugal. ttps://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Last night my roommate asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl. I said I didn't know he could. --Submitted by rk of ks

Max Picture of the Week: Max, the Pink Dragon ...in a red mask …taking a taxi

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: In libraries, the only thing we have to fear is the Chair of the library party planning committee https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

With Medicare, every member has a preexisting condition. / Marilyn is the most popular resident at Pioneer Ridge Assisted Living. She's the only one who figured out how the Medicare Drug Plan works.

..........May the bluebird sing your song.........McGuire Sisters …..May You Always

Moonbeam: Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree. --Emily Brontë

Meditation Seed of the Week: Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I guess we should retire the expression “avoid it like the plague” given how little effort people put into avoiding an actual plague. --Submitted by ss of kc

Worthless Fact of the Week: Anita Bryant's granddaughter is marrying a woman. Just thought you might want to know. --Submitted by jm of ks ~~I checked this one out and apparently this is true. The Advocate, a very reputable magazine confirms it.

Week of the Week: Quilt Odyssey Week (29-31) --I just spent two hours organizing my stockpile of fabric. I think I'll reward myself with a trip to the yardgoods store. / If I clean the house, it just gets dirty again. But if I make a quilt, it stays made. I love that.

John Doe, Nursing Home Resident...cause of death: Deep government cuts allowed to fester and become gangrenous due to neglect. / It was recently discovered that the hieroglyphs in King Tut's tomb were actually Egypt's medicare drug plan.

..........You're the maximum, most.........Edd Byrns …..Kookie Lend Me Your Comb

^Deep Throat was W Mark Felt, Sr. At the time he was Associate Director of the FBI. His identity was finally disclosed in a Vanity Fair article in 2005.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 30, 2021. The moon will be in the third quarter tomorrow and is in Taurus. It is Cheesecake Day, Father-In-Law Day, Friendship Day aka International Day of Friendship, Health Care Now! (Medicare's Birthday, 1965), National Chicken and Waffles Day, National Share A Hug Day, National Whistleblowers Appreciation Day, Paperback Book Day, World Day Against Trafficking in Persons, and System Administrator Appreciation Day. In Cuba it is the Day of Martyrs of the Revolution, and in France it is Marseillaise Day (1792). In Virginia it is Crater Day (1864) and Gilroy, CA celebrates at the Garlic Festival all weekend. Because it is the last Friday in July it is also National Get Gnarly Day and National Talk in An Elevator Day.

Among those born on this day were Giorgio Vasari (1511), Emily Brontë (1818), James Edward Kelly (1855), Thorstein Veblen (1857), Henry Ford (1863), Vladimir Zworykin (1889), Casey Stengel (1890), Henry Moore (1898), William Gass (1924), Christine McGuire (McGuire Sisters, 1929), Edd Kookie Byrnes (1933), Eleanor Smeal (1939), Paul Anka (1941), David Sanborn (1945), Arnold Schwarzenegger (1947), and Delta Burke (1956).

On July thirith Virginia formed the House of Burgesses (1619), the City of Baltimore was founded (1729), slaves took over the Amistad (1839), the US yacht club was organized was authorized (1844), the second Balkan War came to an end (1913), The Women's Navy Auxiliary Agency (WAVES, 1942) , the House of Representatives recommended 3 articles of impeachment against Nixon (1974), and Jimmy Hoffas was last seen (1975).

Night Sky, 7/30: As summer progresses, Arcturus moves down the western side of the evening sky. Arcturus forms the bottom point of the Kite of Bootes. The Kite, rather narrow, extends upper right from Arcturus by 23°, about two fists at arm's length. The lower right side of the kite is dented inward, as if some celestial intruder once banged into it. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Momiji Nishiya, 13 years old, won gold in women's street skateboarding.

This Week: Saturday, July 31 – International Slumber Party Night & National Mutt Day & Uncommon Instruments Awareness Day

Sunday, August 1 – Girlfriend's Day & Lammas Day aka Loafmass aka Lughnasa & National Mah Jongg Day

Night Sky, 8/1: Saturn is in opposition. Do you already notice that Saturn's rings are distinctly brighter, compared to Saturn's globe, than they usually are? This Seeliger effect is caused by the solid ring particles backscattering sunlight to us when the Sun is almost directly behind us. The dusty surfaces of the Moon and Mars do this too, but Saturn's clouds do not.

Monday, August 2 – Assistance Dog Day & National Coloring Book Day & Take A Penny/Leave A Penny Day

Tuesday, August 3 – Friendship Day & National Night Out

Wednesday, August 4 – Single Working Women's Day & Social Security Day

Night Sky, 8/4: Venus (magnitude –3.9) continues to shine low in the west during twilight. It sets around twilight's end. Mars is disappearing from sight deep in the sunset, lower right of Venus

Thursday, August 5 – National Oyster Day & National Underwear Day

Actually, the stress caused by trying to figure out Medicare is not covered by Medicare. / Medicare – providing insurance to the elderly without losing one cent for big pharm.

..........People say that love's a game.........Paul Anka …..Put Your Head On My Shoulder

^^ The big question was posed by Senator Howard Baker, Jr. of Tennessee who was vice chair of the senate select committee on presidential campaign activities.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The fastest land mammal is a toddler who has been asked, “What's in your mouth?”.

Moonbeam: Just think – guns have a constitutional amendment protecting them and women don't. --Eleanor Smeal

Video of the Week: There is a Beatles song (Your Mother Should Know) with the lyric “was a hit before your mother was born): Here's Collins & Harlan singing When That Midnight Choo, Choo Leaves For Alabam” which was a hit in 1913: Collins and Harlan "When That Midnight Choo-Choo Leaves For Alabam'" (Irving Berlin song) 1912 - YouTube

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie in gray, Max in water wings, Dad in euphoria

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The whole thing lasted 11 minutes or as an Amazon worker knows three lunch breaks. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 7/24/21

Labor wants pride and joy in doing good work, a sense of making or doing something beautiful or useful - to be treated with dignity and respect as brother and sister. --Thorstein Veblen

How many doctors does it take to charge a light bulb? Three 1 to find a bulb specialist. 1 to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to medicare. / It's an experimental drug. We're still testing to see how much customers will pay for it.

..........Hustling, bustling, buzzing around.........McGuire Sisters …..Muskrat Ramble

^^^ The events surrounding President Nixon ordering the firing of Archibald Cox, the Watergate special prosecutor, became known as the Saturday Night Massacre.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Did you know? By replacing your potato chips with grapefruit as a snack you can lose up to 90% of what little joy you still have left in your life. --Submitted by INRITH

Weird Word of the Week: Urtication – flogging with nettles – both the erotic stimulation and the folk remedy. World Wide Words: Urtication

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes. Alka-Seltzer®: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: Last week's challenge: From Joseph Young, of St. Cloud, Minn., who conducts the blog "Puzzleria." Take the name of a flower that has a common girl's name in consecutive letters inside it. Remove that name, and the remaining letters, in order, sound like another girl's name. What flower is it? NPR Puzzle Sunday 7/25/21

We've run every test we could think of and the results show that you are at the annual Medicare limit. / Have you heard about the new Medicare Drug Plan called Plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada.

...........You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss.........Edd Byrnes …..You're The Top

^^^^ Alexander Butterfield, a white house aide, mentioned the white house taping system, which had been installed in 1971, during televised Senate Watergate Committee testimony.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 1 second, but instead I am going to run over it 100 times with the vacuum at different angles. --Submitted by RHOZ

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Diversicon 28 (30-1, Plymouth,MN) --The Roaring 20s Diversicon

Actual Science Conference of the Week: 48^th Annual Review of Progress in in Quantitative Nondestructive Evaluation: (28-30, Online event) --to provide an interface between research and early engineering

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Amaryllis — Mary, Alice

Medicare wishes to remind you that you are deliberately putting yourself at risk of ill health by being over 65. / Unfortunately, Medicare Part D does not cover Costrophobia relief medicines.

..........Oh, how can I tell them.........Paul Anka …..Puppy Love

^^^^^ President Ford pardoned Nixon on September 8, 1974 with Proclamation 4311.

My Own Writing of the Week: For several encounters Odysseus and I made jokes about Redi-whip® and the marvels of its sweet nothingness in proximity to certain parts of the anatomy. Then one afternoon as I was laying in bed, nearly napping, I felt something swoop down my back, hissing and spitting liquid. I screamed. Moral: Redi-Whip® - Yes! Surprise - No! --From: Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, fantasies, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution

Extreme Topiary of the Week: Share A Hug Day

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better. --Anne Lamott

Today's Peace of History, July 30, 1996: Four Ploughshares activists in Liverpool, England, were acquitted of all charges (illegal entry and criminal damage) on the basis of their having prevented a greater crime, after having extensively damaged an F-16 Hawk fighter jet to be sold to the Indonesian government for use in its genocidal occupation of East Timor.

According to our records, you had the same illness 200 years ago in a previous life. That qualifies as a preexisting condition. / Medicare Part D – US cure for opioid addiction.

..........Meets an old immovable object like me.........McGuire Sisters …..Something's Gotta Give

Son of Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Why read dystopian fiction when you can just pay attention? --Submitted by MMS

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 30, 2021, Insured ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: She burned too bright for this world. --Emily Brontë

Cost of War:

As of 7/29/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,151,339,326,601.

As of 7/22/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,149,388,895,676.

As of 7/29/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,050,997,516,204.

As of 7/22/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,049,671,999,548.

As of 7/29/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $870,911,081,141.

As of 7/22/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $869,244,719,365.

As of 7/29/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $353,570.681,893.

As of 7/22/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $353,191.959,725.

As of 7/29/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,426,819,368,398.

As of 7/22/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,421,499,186,957.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The abjectly poor, and all those persons whose energies are entirely absorbed by the struggle for daily sustenance, are conservative because they cannot afford the effort of taking thought for the day after tomorrow; just as the highly prosperous are conservative because they have small occasion to be discontented with the situation as it stands today. --Thorstein Veblen

Famous Last Words: It evens itself out. --Casey Stengel

..........Remembering all those little things.........Paul Anka …..My Heart Sings

Medicare Blues: There were ten in bed and the little one said, “These Medicare cuts are ridiculous”. / After a lecture on the general theory of relativity, Albert Einstein said to his audience, “But don't ask me to explain Medicare Part D”.

May Peace refresh your body

And Joy restore your soul

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Gold Medal ePistle

 Famous First Words: In the name of Preverti, daughter of the mountains.. Help the movie

Well, the 2020 Summer Olympics are finally here. I understand that the dinosaur from the Republic of Skull Island is favored to win big in the races. She's a prontosaurus. / To get ready for this year's Olympics, I read The Olympic Trials by Willy Qualify.

..........I'll go one on one against the world.........Cheech & Chong …..Basketball Jones

Remember that the true worth of colonies lies in their prosperity and progress, and that justice, impartial alike to black and white, is the first element of prosperity. --W E B DuBois Letter to the first PanAfrican Conference

It is a warm (76°F) Friday morning. The sun is rising and erasing the few thin, wispy clouds turning them from white to blue. A mourning dove is mourning somewhere unseen. Grass and leaves and flower stalks are green as green and dabs of color sit on them, yellow, red, blue. Summer is indeed upon the land. Unseen dogs bark at Puck as we walk along and he answers; it is a conversation of unknown content that fills the air with life noises. We make it to the end of the block and back without encountering the chickens that sometimes roam freely. (Now we know that the chicken crossed the road to get to the neighbor's flower beds.) It is an uneventful walk until someone dares drive a car up to a house, park it, and get out. Puck sets her straight and we return to our cool rooms and my hot creamy coffee (the last of the Mother's Day brew). But best of all, now I get to sit down and write to you.

Hope your weekend takes the gold, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Hawaiian Rules: 4) Speak softly and wear a loud shirt.

I understand that the fastest runner at the Olympics is an insect, the Quicket. / Olympiads (noun) –Commercials shown during the Summer Games.

..........Moving is breathing and breathing is life.........Soundgarden …..Rowing

Trivia Questions: Happy National Pajama Day

^ Where does the word pajama come from, anyway?

^^ How come some pajamas cover the feet?

^^^ What do you know about the Guinness World Record Footed Pajama Party?

^^^^ How has the pandemic affected pajama sales.

^^^^^ Who needs pajamas?

Big Hello: Tere – Estonian https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Metaphysics was invented by papyrus manufacturers to sell more scrolls. --Submitted by Philosophy Matters

Max Picture of the Week: Dr Max in surgery

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: The average librarian has cards from 5 different libraries on them at all times. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

The nurse who gave me my COVID shots just qualified for Javelin at the Tokyo Games. / Excuse me, are you the pole vaulter? Nein, Ich bin der Deutcher, Walter.

..........Like a modern gladiator, ain't got no fears.........Suicidal Tendencies …..Possessed To Skate

Moonbeam: Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. --Karl Menninger

Meditation Seed of the Week: Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sometimes I delete my own posts because I'm not the same person I was 4 mins ago. --Submitted by RHOZ

Week of the Week: National Baby Food Week (21-24) –Why do they bother making baby food in all those flavors. It all ends up tasting like an airplane. / Pirate babies eat Grrr Brrrs. / The best warmth for baby food is womb temperature.

I competed in the suntanning Olympics, but I only got bronze. / Americans are favored in all the shooting sports. After all, they practice at the best schools.

..........The fastest man on Earth.........Paul Simon …..Cool Papa Bell

^ The word “pajama” comes from the Indian word “piejamah,” which described loose pants that were tied at the waist.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 23, 2021. The moon is full (Buck) today and is in Capricorn. It is Gorgeous Grandma Day, Hot Enough For Ya Day, and National Pajama Day. Since 1952 Egypt, Libya, Ethiopia, and Oman have celebrated this day as National Day. In ancient Rome it was Nepununalia – a festival of the sea god.

Among those born on this day were Gluyas Williams (1888), ~~A cartoon of his is the last laugh~~Haile Selassie (1892), Karl Menniger (1893), Arther Treacher (1894), Ben Weber (1916), Pee Wee Reese (1919), Bert Convy (1933), Don Imus (1947), Martin Gore (Depeche Mode, 1961), and Woody Harrelson (1961).

On July twenty-third Caravaggio won his first public commission for paintings (1599), the typographer, aka typewriter, was patented (1829), The Cincinnati Reds baseball club was established (1866), the first commercial hydroelectric power plant began operations (MI, 1880), the Pan African Congress met in London (1900), the ice cream cone was created (maybe, 1904), Kenya became a British crown colony (1920), Yale university isolated the pituitary hormone (1937), the Progressive Party convention nominated Henry Wallace for president (1948), the first 4 women were admitted to peerage in the House of Lords (1958), and the Beatles released Help (UK, 1965).

Night Sky, 7/23: The Moon is up in the east by late twilight. Look for Saturn about a fist at arm's length to its left. By dawn on the 24th they shift to the southwest and twist around so that Saturn is above the Moon, as shown below. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: A woman attempted to extinguish the Olympic Torch with a water gun.

This Week: Saturday, July 24 – Cousins Day & National Day of the Cowboy & Tell An Old Joke Day

Sunday, July 25 – Hire A Veteran Day & National Parents Day & Red Shoe Day

Night Sky, 7/25: Now both Regulus and Mars are well down to Venus's lower right, by 4° and 7° respectively.

Monday, July 26 – Aunts and Uncles Day & One Voice Day

Tuesday, July 27 – Korean War Armistice Day & Take you Houseplant for a Walk Day & Walk on Stilts Day

Wednesday, July 28 – National Waterpark Day

Night Sky, 7/28: And in the east after dark Saturn shines upper right of the Moon, and Jupiter shines farther to the Moon's left. Again, by dawn this scene of action shifts to the southwest and the pattern rotates clockwise.

Thursday, July 29 – Global Tiger Day & Lasagna Day & Rain Day

Nigeria is sorry that it did not win a single game in Tokyo. The Nigerian Sports Minister will personally refund the expenses that fans accrued traveling to Japan. He just needs your bank details and PIN number.

..........And we all yelled loud and we all complained.........Mick Jagger …..England Lost

^^ Footed Pajamas Aren't Always For Kids: They actually started out as something designed for adults. The first versions were made when people began sewing socks to the bottom of their pajama pants. It wasn’t to just keep their feet warm; it was to prevent bugs like termites from nibbling on their toes.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If any of you non-rich people want to go into space for 10 minutes, I know a good brownie recipe. --Submitted by INRITH

Moonbeam: The progress of science can be said to be harmful to religion only insofar as it is used for evil aims and not because it claims a priority over religion in its revelation to man. --Haile Selassie

Video of the Week: For decades one of my favorite songs has been Water Boy. My playlist has covers by Odetta and the Don Shirley Trio. This video is by Paul Robeson Paul Robeson - Water Boy - YouTube

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Brothers in the skin

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: How will Texas lure back Texas Democrats? Four words: free bbq for life --Gina Brillon 20 gallon hats because why stop at 10, Texas. --Helen Hong Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 7/17/21

That until the philosophy which holds one race superior and another inferior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned: That until there are no longer first-class and second class citizens of any nation; That until the color of a man's skin is of no more significance than the color of his eyes; That until the basic human rights are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race; That until that day, the dream of lasting peace and world citizenship and the rule of international morality will remain but a fleeting illusion, to be pursued but never attained. --Haile Selassie

It is a myth that a runner eats lots of carbs before a big race. Actually they eat nothing, they fast. / During the 1924 Olympics in France did athletes compete in Oui Sports?

..........I'm gonna show you what I'm made of..........Don Henley …..The Boys Of Summer

^^^ The World’s Largest Footed Pajama Party was held in Austin, Texas on March 11, 2012 where 309 adults were dressed in their footies and broke the Guinness World Record.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Jeff Bezos was in space for 5 minutes – or as it's known at the Amazon warehouse, your allotted break time for a 16-hour day. --Trevor Noah

Weird Word of the Week: Taqwacore (n) A recent musical genre. The name combines the Arabic taqwá, which may be translated as piety or the quality of being God-fearing, with the music term hardcore. World Wide Words: Taqwacore

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets. Alka-Seltzer®: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge comes from listener Peter Collins, of Ann Arbor, Mich. Think of a country. Embedded in consecutive letters is a well-known brand name. The first, second, eighth and ninth letters of the country, in order, spell a former competitor of that brand. Name the country and the brands. --NPR Puzzle Sunday 7/18/21

If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I would have to walk up to the podium. / A shrimp was somehow trapped in the Olympic Swimming Pool. He finished third and they gave him a Prawns Medal.

...........This summer I did the backstroke.........Loudon Wainwright III …..The Swimming Song

^^^^ Adobe said that pajama sales soared 143 percent in April compared to March, while sales of pants dropped 13 percent and bra sales took a 12 percent hit.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The only reason the pyramids exist in Egypt is because they were too heavy for the English folks to put in the British Museum. --Submitted by Elephant Spiritual

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: MechaCon Omega – One Last Time (23-25, New Orleans) MechaCon ~~A little background, actually, the final MechaCon was scheduled for last year but because of the pandemic, this is it's second last year.

Actual Science Conference of the Week: Human and Physical Geography Conference (22-23, Rome) a premier interdisciplinary platform for researchers, practitioners and educators International Conference on Human and Physical Geography ICHPG001 in July 2021 in Rome (waset.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Saudi Arabia --> Audi and Saab

The International Olympic Committee refused to consider Bangkok for the games. They thought all events might end in Thais. / The Russian COVID Vaccine, Sputnik, is 91.6% effective. It is also the only COVID vaccine that will help you win an Olympic event.

..........Get up, get up, put your body in motion.........The Wiseguys …..Start The Commotion

^^^^^ While stores sell tons of pajamas these days, sleeping in your birthday suit is still popular. For example, in the UK, 47 percent of men sleep in absolutely nothing (while only 17 percent of British women go nude at night). Americans, on the other hand, are just slightly more conservative. About 31 percent of men in the United States sleep naked and 14 percent of women go nude.

My Own Writing of the Week: My generation of women were first formally introduced to sex by Kotex (or maybe it was Modess). In the fourth or fifth grade the girls were taken from the room and shown a movie on menstruation. The heart of the film, basically, was to remind us that we must NEVER let anyone (especially males) know that we were actually bleeding. It told us to be embarrassed by our bodies and their functions. It trained us to consider the male ego more important than our bodies and their functions. It offered us a consumer solution to our shame. What a scam. And we were sent back to our class with a little booklet with pictures of our insides inside it. --From: Always Surrender: Memories, observations, micro-stories, fantasies, and lies from my life as an insurgent in the sexual revolution

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When you don't want history of slavery taught but do want confederate monuments preserved, that's call Hypocritical Race Theory. --Submitted by mm of ia

Today's Peace of History, July 23, 1967: The Detroit Rebellion began when folks were angry at loss of jobs and, especially, at the abusive and virtually all-white police department. The rebellion lasted 6 day. In the end 43 were known dead, 347 were injured, 3800 had been arrested and 1000 families were left homeless.

Procrastinators like me aren't allowed in the Olympics. They only take amateurcrastinators. / Several of my friends are head over heels about Break-dancing being added to the games.

..........Those cats were fast as lightning.........Carl Douglas …..Kung Fu Fighting

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 23, 2021,Gold Medal ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: I'm so happy, I think I'll dress up like J Edgar Hoover and sing show tunes. --Don Imus

Cost of War:

As of 7/22/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,149,388,895,676.

As of 7/15/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,147,397,871,219.

As of 7/22/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,049,671,999,548.

As of 7/15/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,048,319,021,844.

As of 7/22/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $869,244,719,365.

As of 7/15/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $867,543,995,491.

As of 7/22/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $353,191.959,725.

As of 7/15/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $352,805.473,957.

As of 7/22/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,421,499,186,957.

As of 7/15/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,416,067,223,286.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

You can hate a man for many reasons. Color isn't one of them. --Peewee Reese

Famous Last Words: ...help me, ooh. --Help the song

..........And we'll keep on fighting to the end.........Queen …..We Are The Champions

A fencer born in France but raised in the US can compete for either country in the Olympics. It's called duel citizenship. / Is plate throwing really an Olympic sport? Discuss

May Peace be your stamina

And Joy be your strength

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: Happy Birthday, Gluyas!

Slinky ePistle

 Famous First Words: If you really want to hear about it... JD Salinger Catcher In The Rye

It is World Snake Day and here are some hisssssterical jokes. Here in the wetlands (aka the swamp) all the snakes get together every Thursday evening for a game of Hide and Sneak.

..........A toot, a toot, a toot diddelyada toot.........The Andrew Sisters …..Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy

The way to right wrongs is to turn the light of truth upon them. --Ida B Wells

It is a muggy (71°F, 92% relative humidity) Friday morning. The sky is a slate of featureless gray clouds and not a breath of wind is stirring. Whole streets have been taken over by fowl. Chickens strut through the sub cul de sac clucking greetings or warning, hard to say. Our local murder of crows in stalking Morningside drive, walking around, flying low, discussing the morning in loud caws. And a quarrel of sparrows is playing leap frog on a driveway. Puck barks at them all and is ignored by them in return. The grass is sparkling with morning dew or yesterday's rain. The ground smells of dampness and the air is filled with heaviness. We finish our rounds and return home. Puck still sniffing everything and barking now and again, just in case. Of course, he accepts a treat and then retreats to his dog cave under the bed. I refresh my cup of decaf, take off my shoes, and sit down to write to you. What a morning...

Hope your weekend is a personal best, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You are not a dumpster fire. You are a multidimensional dumpster phoenix. --Submitted by MMS

I got mugged by a cobra once when I was walking through the park. I wouldn't recognize it again; it was wearing a hood. / Crush and Swallow, a CPA firm, always has a few adders on staff.

..........You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right.........The Police …..Roxanne

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Automatic Parking Meter

^ Any idea what preceded the automatic parking meter?

^^ Do you know who invented the “automatic” one?

^^^ Where was the first such meter installed?

^^^^ Care to guess who or where or how amusing the stories of the first parking tickets are?

^^^^^ How many parking meters do you think are out there, more or less?

Big Hello: Hello – English (British) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's amazing that Rosalyn & Jimmy Carter just celebrated their 75^th wedding anniversary. That's more than 15 wives in GOP years. --Submitted by @SundaeRedux

Max Picture of the Week: Brothers in the shell

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 3% of library checkouts are staff checking out their favorite books so the book won't be weeded from the collection https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

You have to measure snakes in inches, they don't have feet. / This one's for Slytherin House: My magical snake is named Addercadabra.

..........To see Queenie the cutie of the burlesque show.........The Andrew Sisters …..Strip Polka

Moonbeam: Divine Love always has met and always will meet every human need. --Mary Baker Eddy

Meditation Seed of the Week: Why are elderly people often called "old people" but children are never called "new people"?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This is ridiculous. It's July 6^th and people are still setting off fireworks. One almost caught our Christmas Decorations on fire. --Submitted by INRITH

Week of the Week: National Vodka Week (11-17) --I doubt vodka is the answer, but it's worth a shot. / Sobriety is not in my vodkabulary.

Never give coffee to snakes. It makes them viperactive. / The US Department of Mines employs several snakes, you know, civil serpents.

..........The evening spreads its sail against the sky.........The Police …..Bring On The Night

^ An early US patent for a parking meter was filed by Roger W. Babson, on August 30, 1928. The meter was intended to operate on power from the battery of the parking vehicle and required a connection from the vehicle to the meter.

Almanac: It is Friday, July 16, 2021. The moon will be in the first quarter tomorrow and is in Libra. It is National Guinea Pig Day, National Personal Chefs' Day, and World Snake Day. Because it is the third weekend it is also Celebration of The Horse.

Among those born on this day were John Kay (1704), Joshua Reynolds (1723), Mary Baker Eddy (1821), Ida B Wells (1862), Roald Amundsen (1872), Shoeless Joe Jackson (1887), Trygve Lie (1896), Barbara Stanwyck (1907), Orville Redenbacher (1907), Ginger Rogers (1911), Laverne Andrews (Andrew Sisters, 1915), Bess Myerson (1924), Stewart Copeland (Police, 1952), and Corey Feldman (1971).

On July sixteenth the Lunar Cycle of Hilarius began (463), kissing was banned in England (1439), John Adams was graduated from Harvard (1775), the District of Columbia was established (1790), the US Public Health Service was established (1798), the US Marine Hospital was authorized (1798), many negro miners were killed by striking white miners (Alabama, 1894), the first automatic parking meter was installed (1935), 100 degrees F was the highest temperature recorded in Seattle (1941), the first atomic bomb was detonated (NM, 1945), Catcher in the Rye was published (1951), Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey performed under canvas for the last time (1956), and Apollo 11 was launched (1969).

Night Sky, 7/16: In late twilight, Spica shines three or four finger-widths lower left of the first-quarter Moon (it's exactly first-quarter at 6:11 am EDT Saturday the 17th). High above them is brighter Arcturus, tinted with a lower color temperature: yellow-orange. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Bruce's daughter Jessica Springsteen has made the US Olympic Equestrian team.

Extra Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Cannabis (noun): The glue holding this shitshow together.

This Week: Saturday, July 17 – National Hot Dog Day & Woodie Wagon Day

Sunday, July 18 – National Caviar Day & Nelson Mandela International Day

Night Sky, 7/18: The tail of Scorpius is low due south right after dark, to the lower right of the Sagittarius Teapot. How low depends on how far north or south you live: the farther south, the higher. Look for the two stars especially close together in the tail. These are Lambda and fainter Upsilon Scorpii, known as the Cat's Eyes. They're canted at an angle; the cat is tilting his head a little to the right and winking (Upsilon is fainter than Lambda; they're magnitudes 1.6 and 2.6). Both are blue-white supergiants, 700 and 500 light years away, respectively. Yes, the nearer of the two is the fainter one.

Monday, July 19 – Flitch Day & Global Hug Your Kid Day

Tuesday, July 20 – Moon Day & Space Exploration Day & World Chess Day

Night Sky, 7/20: Between the Cat's Eyes and the Teapot's spout are the open star clusters M6 and especially M7, showy in binoculars. A line through the Cat's Eyes points west (right) by nearly a fist-width toward Mu Scorpii, a much tighter pair known as the Little Cat's Eyes. They're oriented almost exactly the same way as Lambda and Upsilon, and like those, they're not a true binary: they're 500 and 800 light-years from us.

Wednesday, July 21 – National Be Someone Day & No Pet Store Puppies Day

Thursday, July 22 – National Refreshment Day & Spooners Day aka Spoonerisms Day

My snake was obviously sick so I took her to the vet. He said to giver her Asssprin. / Hogwarts students once crossed two kinds of snakes and the came up with an addradacobra,

..........Cool down papa don't you blow your top.........The Andrew Sisters …..Straighten Up And Fly Right

^^ Holger George Thuesen and Gerald A. Hale designed the first working parking meter, the Black Maria, in 1935.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You can give a man a fish and THEN teach him to fish, you know. And it's a lot easier to learn how to fish when you're not starving. --He is Lore --Submitted by gr of oh

Quote of the Week: When a man hits a target they call him a marksman. When I hit it, they call it a trick. Never did like that much. --Annie Oakley

Moonbeam: Adventure is just bad planning. --Roald Amundsen

Son of Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If the statues didn't want to be vandalized then maybe they shouldn't have dressed so confederately. --Submitted by sd of ks

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie practicing his surfing stance

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Say hello to the Unaffordable - but it's so shiny you buy it anyway - Care Act. The idea is that your health is already constantly monitored by your Apple Watch, so instead of you waiting till you get sick to see your boring old android doctor, a spiffy Apple doctor calls you up and expresses surprise you are able to answer the phone given what they know about your cholesterol. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 6/19/21

Virtue knows no color line, and the chivalry which depends upon complexion of skin and texture of hair can command no honest respect. --Ida B Wells

William Snakespeare wrote Hognose V. / We had an infestation of rattlesnakes in our pantry. It was Snakes and Larders

..........How my poor heart aches with every step you take.........The Police …..Every Breath You Take

^^^ Thuesen and Hale were engineering professors at Oklahoma State University and began working on the parking meter in 1933 at the request of Oklahoma City lawyer and newspaper publisher Carl C. Magee. The world's first installed parking meter was in Oklahoma City on July 16, 1935. Magee received a patent for the apparatus on 24 May 1938.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: With soap, baptism is a good thing. --Robert Green Ingersoll --Submitted by MMS

Weird Word of the Week: Scutching – to beat the stems of the flax plant to remove the useful fibers for making linen. World Wide Words: Scutching

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Clean a toilet: Drop in 2 Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait 20 minutes, brush, and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china. Alka-Seltzer®: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This week's challenge comes from listener Steve Baggish of Arlington, Mass. Think of a common two-word phrase, in 9 letters, naming something that makes it easy to get money. Rearrange its letters to spell another common two-word phrase naming something that makes it hard to get money. What phrases are these? NPR Sunday Puzzle 7/28/19

A snake walks into a bar. The bartender says, “How'd you do that?” / When Sally Sidewinder married Harry Hoopsnake, I gave them a set of Hiss and Hers bath towels.

...........You make my sad heart jump with joy.........The Andrew Sisters …..Oh Johnny, Oh Johnny, Oh

^^^^ One of the first parking meter tickets resulted in the first court challenge to metered parking enforcement. Rev. C.H. North of Oklahoma's City's Third Pentecostal Holiness Church had his citation dismissed when he claimed he had gone to a grocery store to get change for the meter.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If you can't handle me randomly blurting out song lyrics that relate to what you just said, then we can't be friends. --Submitted by INRITH

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Crypticon 2021 (KC, 16-18) --WELCOME TO THE AMAZING AND ICONICALLY FILLED WORLD BIZARRE & HAUNT EXPO Kansas City Crypticon – Celebrating 10 Years of Horror (crypticonkansascity.com)

Actual Science Conference of the Week: International Conference on Cold Molecules and Molecular Physics (15-16, Bali, Indonesia) --The control and manipulation of cold and ultracold International Conference on Cold Molecules and Molecular Physics ICCMMP on July 15-16, 2021 in Bali, Indonesia (conferenceindex.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Debit card => bad credit

All those m*therf*cking snakes on that plane were Boeing constrictors. / When Greta Garter Snake gets angry she throws a real hissy fit.

..........Love can mend your life.........The Police …..Message In A Bottle

^^^^^ Today, Automobile Evolution estimates there are between four and five million parking meters in the United States. --Apr 3, 2012 ~~Sorry, I could find no statistics later than 2012. Statistics aren't even kept by states, only cities, actually only large cities. I would guess in nearly 10 years we've added at least another million.

My Own Bit Of Writing of the Week: Every Day Art Diversion: I once went to an exhibit of Abstract Expressionism. It had two paintings – both large. One was Jackson Pollock's Mural . It was incredible. It was a forest with animals and fairy tale creatures cavorting amongst the trees. It was totally up to the viewer to see this stuff because it was all drips and smears. The other was by Robert Motherwell. It was a couple of big round circles not painted fully and some other industrial looking shapes. It had no texture. It was Elegy to the Spanish Republic, No. 126 I thought that both titles lacked imagination. I read that Motherwell was showing us the alienation of modern life or something like that. And I said to myself, I go to art museums to get away from the alienation of modern life, not to see it euphemized. So I understand that if you're going to bother to write poetry you don't want it to describe your microwave.

Word Coining Diversion: I knew I was making up euphemize but my spell checker also doesn't like amongst.

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's easier to fly a rocket into space than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God. --Jesus, probably --Submitted by MMS

Today's Piece of History, July 16, 1970: Rick "Tiger" Dowdell was shot and killed by officer Billy Garrett in the alley between New Hampshire and Rhode Island between 9th & 10th in Lawrence, KS. Dowdell was unarmed.

Today's Peace of History, July 16, 1983: During a time of increasing tension between the US and the USSR, and an escalating nuclear arms race, 10,000 peace activists formed a human chain linking the two superpowers’ embassies in London, England. The same day, members of the Greenham Common Women's Peace Camp painted the U.S. spy plane, Blackbird.

Why did the viper viper nose? Because the adder adder handkerchief. / When the crazy king knighted his pet snake they called it Sir Pent.

..........Who could ask for anything more.........The Andrew Sisters …..Nice Work If You Can Get It

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle July 16, 2021, Slinky ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful. --Bess Myerson

Cost of War: As of 7/15/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,147,397,871,219.

As of 7/8/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,145,410,180,931.

As of 7/15/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,048,319,021,844.

As of 7/8/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,046,968,153,428.

As of 7/15/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $867,543,995,491.

As of 7/8/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $865,845,771,431.

As of 7/15/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $352,805.473,957.

As of 7/8/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $352,419.508,193.

As of 7/15/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,416,067,223,286.

As of 7/8/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,410,644,421,116.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

One had better die fighting against injustice than to die like a dog or a rat in a trap. --Ida B Wells

Famous Last Words: you start missing everybody. --Salinger Catcher In The Rye

..........She's a whistle in the catacombs.........The Police  …..When The World Is Running Down

A snake that bakes: Piethon / A mathematical snake: Pithon / Casanova Cat Snake's favorite pickup line was “Come up to my place, I'll help you unwind”.

May Peace be your boon companion

And Joy be your faithful friend

prairie mama

christine

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