Elderly ePistle

 Famous First Words: COVID-19 VACCINES ARE SAFE AND EFFECTIVE --The Health & Human Services Website

It is National Nursing Home Week (9-15). Overheard in the dining room: If I had murdered you 30 years ago, I'd be out on parole by now.

.........Tired of weeping, tired of moaning...........Cream …..I'm So Glad

As news spread of the brutality faced by Freedom Riders in Anniston and Birmingham, Alabama, the American public had to make a choice: Would it support democracy or mob rule? ~ Adam Strom

It is an incredibly beautiful Friday morning. The blue sky is sprinkled with cheerful white clouds and 62°F is an ideal temperature. The sun comes and goes, shining through the field of white billows. I had an excellent doctor's appointment which always makes the day brighter. Birds are singing in un-orchestrated groups,discussing philosophy for a while and then moving on. The trip to the doctor's office smelled of cars and traffic and the backyard smells of lumber from the storage shed in progress. But the rest of the world smells like flowers and mown grass and spring. And I sip from my cup of Mother's Day coffee and think about you.

Hope your weekend is fintastic, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The brownies I started making in my Easy Bake Oven in 1987 are ready if you guys want one.

Sunny Acres nursing home is so big, elderly Eddie uses GPS to find his way back to his room.

..........a rub dub, just relaxing in the tub........Bobby Darin …..Splish Splash

Trivia Questions: Happy Underground America Day ! What do we know about Earth-Sheltered Houses?

^ Why live in an earth-sheltered house anyway?

^^ What are the two types of earth-sheltered houses?

^^^ When and/or where were the oldest known earth-sheltered houses used?

^^^^ About how much would it cost to buy an abandoned missile silo as underground housing?

^^^^^ Name a famous fictional earth-sheltered village.

Big Hello: Miyaxwe – Cupeño (Southern California) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Instead of a sign that says “do not disturb” I need one that says “already disturbed, proceed with caution”. --Submitted by cf of ks

Max Picture of the Week: Broken leg, what broken leg

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 80/20 Rule: 80% of your patrons will show up during the last 20 minutes you are open https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Downside of Nursing Home Living: elderly Edith doing a pole dance using her cane.

..........It's getting near dawn,when lights close their tired eyes.........Cream …..Sunshine of Your Love

Moonbeam: I believe a lot of disease comes from anxiety, loneliness. --Tom Cochrane

Meditation Seed of the Week: Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The first thing I learned about God was he needed money. --George Carlin

Week of the Week: American Craft Beer Week (10-16) --Craft Beer: It isn't alcoholism; it's a hobby. / Craft Beer: Technically it is a solution.

Down at Sunny Acres instead of food fights, they have pill fights.

..........I told you 'bout the swans, that they live in the park........Cream …..Badge

^ If you are looking for a home with energy-efficient features that will provide a comfortable, tranquil, weather-resistant dwelling, an earth-sheltered house could be right for you.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 14, 2021. The moon is 3 days old and is in Gemini. It is Apraxia Awareness Day, National Chicken Dance Day, National Decency Day, Stars and Stripes Forever Day, and Underground America Day. Because it is the second Friday it is also Fintastic Friday: Giving Sharks A Voice.

Among those born on this day were Peder Horrebow (1679), Gabriel Daniel Fahrenheit (1686), Thomas Gainsborough (1727), Heloise (1919), Bobby Darin (Walden Waldo Cassotto, 1936), Dick Howser (1937), Jack Bruce (Cream, 1943), George Lucas (1944), Robert Jarvik (1946), Al Ciner (1947), Robert Zemeckis (1948), Tom Cochrane (1953), and Gillian Bradshaw (1956).

On May fourteenth delegates gathered in Philadelphia to draw up the US constitution (1787), Lewis and Clark left St Louis (1804), Mendelssohn's Hebrides premiered (1832), Borden patented his process for condensed milk (1853), Vaseline was first sold (1878), the lowest US temperature for May was recorded at -10F (climax CO, 1896), the first passenger flight took off (1908), "We Want Beer" parade was held in NYC (1932), the US officially recognized Israel (1948), the Ernie Kovacs Show debuted (NBC, 1951), the first busload of Freedom Riders arrived in Alabama where they were bombed and burned (1961) ~~Actually freedom rides began in the 1940s. They were organized by C.O.R.E.~~ Underground America Day was first observed (1964), Kuwait became the 111th member of the United Nations (1963), abortion and contraception were legalized in Canada (1969), two Jackson State University students were murdered by the police (1970), Skylab, the first Space Station, was launched (1973), the US nuked Nevada (1975), and Department of Health & Human Services began operation (1980).

Night Sky, 5/14: In early twilight, spot the crescent Moon in the west-northwest. Upper left of it by about 13° (for North America) is little Mars. About the same distance lower right of the Moon is Mercury, and farther to the Moon's lower left is Betelgeuse, the last bright star of Orion to depart as spring advances. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Our new storage shed...on the hoof

This Week: Saturday, May 15 – Morel Mushroom Day & Nylon Stockings Day & the Running of the Preakness

Sunday, May 16 – National Piercing Day & Biographer's Day & Rural Life Sunday & Biographer's Day

Night Sky, 5/16: Three zero-magnitude stars shine after dark in May: Arcturus high in the southeast, Vega much lower in the northeast, and Capella in the northwest. They appear so bright because each is at least 60 times as luminous as the Sun, and because they're all relatively nearby: 37, 25, and 42 light-years from us, respectively.

Monday, May 17 – World Hypertension Day & Same Sex Marriage Day

Tuesday, May 18 – International Museum Day & Visit You Relatives Day

Wednesday, May 19 – National Scooter Day & National Juice Slush Day

Night Sky, 5/19: Jupiter and Saturn (in dim Aquarius and Capricornus, respectively) are well up in the southeast as the first light of dawn begins. Jupiter grabs the eye at magnitude –2.3. Saturn, 16° to Jupiter's right, is one sixteenth as bright at magnitude +0.7.

Thursday, May 20 – Weights and Measures Day & World Bee Day

Nursing Home Truths: People are never too old to not know better.

..........Same old love story you've heard before........Bobby Darin …..Rainin'

^^ Earth-sheltered houses come in Underground (the name says it all) and bermed. A bermed house may be built above grade or partially below grade, with earth covering one or more walls. An “elevational” bermed design exposes one elevation or face of the house and covers the other sides—and sometimes the roof—with earth to protect and insulate the house.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Homophobia: The irrational fear that a gang of gay men will break into your home and completely redecorate. --Submitted by sd of ks

Moonbeam: Music is one of those things that make us feel a little less alone in the world. --Tom Cochrane

Late Night Snacks of the Week: Both of my sources for late night jokes are demanding that I subscribe to the newspaper before I can have access to the jokes. What to do, what to do? ...Who could not find a tiger in Texas. It's not a planned parenthood. --Trevor Noah /

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie the camo swinger

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Mr. Humm is the chef and owner of Eleven Madison Park in New York, called one of the greatest restaurants in the world and the first three-star Michelin restaurant to make the change to an all-plant-based menu. The restaurant says the switch became possible after finally perfecting a way to force feed a plant to fatten up its liver. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 5/8/21

Democracy is a process, not a static condition. It is becoming rather than being. It can easily be lost, but never is fully won. Its essence is eternal struggle. ~ William H. Hastie, the nation's first black federal judge

One day I intend to be that little old person in the nursing home that leads the rebellion and puts vodka in all the IV bags.

..........And watches the ships that go sailin'........Bobby Darin …..Beyond the Sea

^^^ It is thought that from about 15,000 BC migratory hunters in Europe were using turf and earth to insulate simple round huts that were also sunk into the ground .

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They say you're only as old as you feel. I think I may be an exhumed mummy or something. --Submitted by ss of mo

Weird Word of the Week: Jamoke aka moke – A person who provides muscle for a local street boss World Wide Words: Jamoke

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Stiffen ruffled curtains. Hold the fabric taut and spray with Alberto VO5 Hair Spray. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge comes from listener Evan Kalish, of Bayside, NY. Name a famous blues singer — first and last name as this person is generally known. Change the first letter to a "B," and phonetically you'll get a nationality. Who's the singer, and what's the nationality? NPR Sunday Puzzle 5/9/21

I promise to put more effort into choosing your nursing home than I did with that last birthday card.

...........I'll wait in this place where the sun never shines........Cream …..White Room

^^^^ Missile silos range from $99,000 to $450,000.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What's that special Scottish word for when it's cold, grey, cloomy, and raining? Sumer

Science Fiction Joke of the Week: Three conspiracy theorists walk into a TARDIS. Don't tell me that's just a coincidence.

Actual Science Joke of the Week: A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?” “You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist. “That’s it! I can never remember that word.”

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Ma Rainey → Bahraini

Downside of Nursing Home Living-- They refuse to fill your humidifier with beer.

..........You're the sun and as you shine on me........Cream …..I Feel Free

^^^^^ Hobbit houses were bermed. So Hobbiton is a famous, fictional village of earth-sheltered houses.

Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week: Girl with a Pearl Earring

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Fauci says nausea and splitting headache are symptoms of talking to Rand Paul --The Borowitz Report

Today's Peace of History, May 14, 1941: The first groups of WWII conscientious objectors (COs) were ordered to report to camp at Patapsco, Maryland. They and others formed the Civilian Public Service (CPS) during the war. They performed various duties, among others being trained as smokejumpers dealing with forest fires.

Elderly Ellen got thrown out of Sunny Acres for making dildos during crafts hour.

..........If you don't watch out it will stick to you........Cream …..Strange Brew

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 14, 2021, Elderly ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: As a songwriter, if you can touch people and make them feel a little less alone in the world, then you've done your job. --Tom Cochrane

Cost of War:

As of 5/13/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,129,633,103,397.

As of 5/6/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,127,648,786,691.

As of 5/13/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,036,245,690,807.

As of 5/6/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,034,897,068,147

As of 5/13/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $852,365,911,126.

As of 5/6/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $850,670,729,706.

As of 5/13/21Veterans Care since 2001: $349,355,867,211.

As of 5/6/21Veterans Care since 2001: $348,970,547,946.

As of 5/13/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,367,601,364,425.

As of 5/6/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,362,188,765,083.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The Freedom Riders were remarkable, fearless Americans. They were extraordinary, ordinary people . . . young people who took the reins of history and wouldn't let go. ~ Mark Samels

Famous Last Words: Come with us we'll sail the seas of cheese. --Primus

..........So there's never, never a trace of red........Bobby Darin …..Mack the Knife

Overheard in the dining room: These aren't wrinkles, they're laughter lines. Wow, something must have been hilarious.

May Peace stay with you always

And Joy remain your close companion

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh: