InScentsed ePistle

 Famous First Words: An Act to provide for an exchange of lands with the Indians... The Removal Act

It's National Fragrance Week (24-30) Macy's is selling a new perfume with a new Tesla car smell; they call it Elon Musk. / When I was young I wore Midnight Madness. Now I wear Nine O'clock Knockout.

..........I hear hurricanes a-blowing.........Creedence Clearwater Revival …..Bad Moon Rising

When we show our respect for other living things, they respond with respect for us. – Arapaho

It is a chilly(52°F) , cloudy Friday morning. The sky is a solid slate gray. A northern breeze is whipping the willow into a frenzy. Birds are staying home and sleeping in. Even Puck is refusing to get out of bed this morning. He has annexed my pillow. Outside, the air feels damp and smells of wet earth and soggy foliage. Small puddles of cold water lurk beneath grassy patches grown tall because there are still pieces of shed laying about the yard hindering mowing. The only sounds are car motors and wheels moving on pavement and the swish of blowing tree branches. But I do not stay long. I am wearing no jacket and the weather is not inviting. Inside it is warm and the coffee is hot and creamy and sweet. Inside is also quiet and free of wind. What a great morning to write to you.

Hope your weekend is a fragrant offering with a pleasing aroma, ePistliers.

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Be careful out there. It's “drop a house of a witch” weather and some of you don't need to take chances. --Submitted by RHOZ

Kermit is marketing a new cologne for amphibians. It's his Frogrance collection. / Do you have a perfume that smells like frying bacon?

..........Tambourines and elephants are playin' in the band.........Creedence Clearwater Revival ….Lookin' Out My Back Door

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday to the Golden Gate Bridge!

^ How long is the bridge?

^^ To what does it connect?

^^^ Where does the name Golden Gate come from?

^^^^ What was the initial cost of the bridge?

^^^^^ More or less, how many vehicles cross the bridge every day?

FYI: The day before vehicle traffic was allowed, 200,000 people crossed either on foot or on roller skates

Big Hello: Ahoj – Czech https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Vaccines are a gateway drug to concerts. --Submitted by bc of tx

Max Picture of the Week: Max with wild flowers and an aura

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Instead of a comfort animal, 39% of librarians carry a copy of their favorite novel everywhere they go. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Which rapper has the worst perfume? 50 scent. / This may be expensive for fragrance but it's cheap for aromatherapy.

..........It ain't me, it ain't me.........Creedence Clearwater Revival ….Fortunate Son

Moonbeam: The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried. --G K Chersterson

Meditation Seed of the Week: Can you daydream at night?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Life gave me onions...onionade sucks. --Submitted by INRITH

Week of the Week: Fleet Week in NYC (26-31) --During Fleet Week, New York City gets pretty rowdy. All that yelling, drinking, and raising hell. And then when they're done taping "The View," Fleet Week starts. / It’s Fleet Week in New York. And you know what that means: Next week is Penicillin Week.

Estee Lauder is selling an unscented perfume. It's called Noncents. / It's that bold new fragrance from the Trump Administration. It's called Ms Conduct

..........Over by the courthouse they're starting to unwind..........CCR …..Down on the Corner

^ The Golden Gate Bridge is a suspension bridge spanning a one-mile-wide strait.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 28, 2021. The moon was full (Worm) last Thursday and is in Capricorn. It is Amnesty International Founders Day, the Ascension of Baha'U'llah, Menstrual Hygiene Day, National Brisket Day, National Hamburger Day, Sierra Club Day, and Slugs Return From Capistrano Day. In Puerto Rico it is Memorial Day. Because it is the last or 4^th Friday it is also Heat Awareness Day and National Title Track Day. Finally because it is the Friday before Memorial Day it is Don't Fry Day, National Cooler Day, National Polka Day, National Road Trip Day, and National Wig Out Day.

Among those born on this day were George I (1660), William Pitt (1759), Eliza Ann Gardner (1831), G K Chesterton (1874), Milutin Milankovic (1879), Theo van Reijn (1884), Jim Thorpe (1888), Henry Ritz (1907), T-Bone Walker (1910), C Wright Mills (1916), Barry Commoner (1917), Papa John Creech (Hot Tuna, Jefferson Airplane, 1917), the Dionne Quintuplets (Annette, Cécile, Émilie, Marie, Yvonne, 1934), Gladys Knight (1944), Rudy Giuliani (1944), John Fogerty (CCR, 1945), and Wendy O Williams (Plasmatics, 1949).

On May twenty-eighth the Treaty of Nymphenburg was signed (Bavaria and Spain, 1741), the first steam-vessel in the Great Lakes was launched (1818), Congress authorized Indian removal from all states to the western prairie (1830), Sojourner Truth attended the Women's Rights Convention (1851), the Paris Communards lost (1871), Armenia declared its independence (1919), the US Customs Court was created by congress (1926), Dodge merged with Chrysler (1928), the Golden Gate Bridge opened to vehicular traffic (1937), Berlin's Louisiana Purchase premiered (1940), the first 3-D cartoon premiered (Melody, 1953), Amnesty International was founded (1961), the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) was founded (1964), Apollo 2 was launched into orbit (1964), and John Paul II became the first pope to visit Great Britain (1982).

Night Sky, 5/28: We're in the time of year when Leo the Lion walks downward toward the west, on his way to departing into the sunset in early summer. Right after dark, spot the brightest star fairly high in the west-southwest. That's Regulus, his forefoot. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Joan Baez and Tony Fauci at the National Kennedy Center Honors

This Week: Saturday, May 29 – International Day for UN Peacekeepers & Learn About Composting Day

Sunday, May 30 – Mint Julep Day & National Creativity Day

Night Sky, 5/30: Now look for Antares less than a fist to the right of the Moon after dark. Orange Antares is the brightest and most colorful star of upper Scorpius.

Monday, May 31 – Memorial Day & Save Your Hearing Day & National Smile Day

Tuesday, June 1 – National Go Barefoot Day & National Olive Day & Oscar the Grouch Day

Wednesday, June 2 – Leave the Office Early Day & National Gun Violence Awareness Day & National Tailors Day

Night Sky,6/2: Bright Capella sets low in the northwest fairly soon after dark these evenings (depending on your latitude). That leaves Vega and Arcturus as the brightest stars in the evening sky. Vega shines in the east-northeast. Arcturus is very high toward the south.

Thursday, June 3 – Wonder Woman Day & World Bicycle Day

The exotic perfume salesman continued to go out during lock down because he had no common scents. / When the carbon tax comes into effect fragrance manufacturers will be paying per fume.

..........Out of the gutter and into the streets..........Wendy O Williams …..The Day of the Human Is Gone

^^ The Golden Gate Bridge connects the northern tip of the San Francisco peninsula to Marin County carrying both US Route 101 and California State Route 1.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Somewhere, somebody out there is thinking of you, and the tremendous impact you made on their life. It's not me...I think you're an idiot. --Submitted by sb of ar

Moonbeam: Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves. --William Pitt the younger

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie making sure the dog's water is properly patted down.

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The CDC announced last week that vaccinated people are free to take off their masks, and everybody began to freak out. What if it's not really safe? What if we haven't brushed our teeth in 14 months, and now we can't get the moss off? I think that they can't just tell us just right away, take off your mask. We need time. Like, I'm not ready to go full-frontal with my face. Or maybe, like, we need, like, a transitional mask, something that's revealing but still provides some privacy. So basically, we need face lingerie. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell me 5/22/21

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice. –Cherokee

There was an explosion down by the former perfumery. It blew up the olfactory. / Benedict XVI released his new fragrance, Popepourri.

..........Ain't no use me working so hard..........Hot Tuna …..Hesitation Blues

^^^ The Golden Gate Bridge is so called because it spans the Golden Gate Strait.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Error 404:

Your haiku could not be found.

Try again later. --Submitted by sd of ks

Weird Word of the Week: Kibibyte – a thousand and twenty-four bytes. Because binary uses a 1,024 byte system instead of a 1,000 bytes measurement. See also mebi- gibi- and tebi- World Wide Words: Kibibyte

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make wrapping paper. Spray Alberto VO5 Hair Spray on the comics section from the Sunday paper to seal in the ink and give the paper a shiny gloss. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge comes from listener Robert Flood of Allen, Texas. Think of a seven-letter hyphenated word for a kind of cooking. Change the middle letter to get a new word describing a kind of music. What words are these? --NPR Puzzle Sunday 1/10/21

InterPol uncovered a plot. A group of perfume makers are trying to take over the world. Radical Cologneilists. / Latest artisan fragrance –the maker based the scent off the suffering we've all been through during the pandemic. It's called Eau de Humanity.

...........Your aluminum finish, slightly diminished.........Jefferson Airplane …..Plastic Fantastic Lover

^^^^ The Golden Gate Bridge cost around $35 million which is $523 million in 2019 dollars.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A chef on TV just said, “Where there's fat, there's flavor.” I know he was talking about food, but I still took it as a compliment.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Armageddon Christchurch 2021 (29-30, Addington, New Zealand) --Today we're going back to the year 2000... the time of dying Tamagotchi's, dusty Nintendo 64 cartridges, and the best pulp culture expo in New Zealand! Christchurch - Armageddon Expo

Actual Science Convention of the Week: Phenomenology of Black Holes in Quantum Gravity (23-28, Hangzhou, China) The existence of black holes is one of the major predictions of Einstein's theory of general relativity and has been one of the most outstanding problems in physics since 1970s, especially after Hawking in 1974 discovered that black holes can radiate thermally as a black body, and two years later found the information paradox, which shows the inconsistency of black hole evolution with the principles of quantum mechanics. 21w5091: Phenomenology of Black Holes in Quantum Gravity (Cancelled) | Banff International Research Station (birs.ca)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: bar-b-que --> baroque

A knockoff in Russia recreated the recipe for Les Royales Excusives Jardin dAmalfi's Creed. They sell it for much less than the original. It is a fragrant violation of copyright laws. / I tried to buy perfume from a vending machine but it was out of odor.

..........Go ask Alice, I think she'll know..........Jefferson Airplane …..White Rabbit

^^^^^ According to the Highway and Transportation District, about 112,000 vehicles cross the Golden Gate Bridge every day.

Quote of the Week: It is a big day for America because after years of agonizing wait finally JayLo and Ben Afflect are back together. Nature is healing. At last someone can make my movie, Batman vs Giggli, this time nobody wins. --Stephen Colbert A Late Show 5/26/21

Extreme Topiary of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Chekhov’s Gun: A gun introduced in the first act must be fired by the last. Jack Kerouac’s Gun: If a character mentions a gun at the start of a lengthy digression, then the rest of the digression must not relate to a gun at all. More Guns

Today's Peace of History, May 28, 1982: Seven women fasted for 10 days in Springfield, Illinois, in support of ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment by the Illinois state legislature. The amendment had already been ratified by 35 other states of the 38 required.

Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But does that ever burn. / When I open my perfume store I'll name it Scents of Shame.

..........Do away with people blowin' my mind..........Jefferson Airplane …..3/5 of a Mile in 10 Seconds

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 28, 2021, InScentsed ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: You never agree with any one candidate 100 percent. I don't agree with myself 100 percent. --Rudy Giuliani

Cost of War:

As of 5/27/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,133,569,372,462.

As of 5/20/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,131,592,158,506.

As of 5/27/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,038,920,001,964.

As of 5/20/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,037,577,540,682.

As of 5/27/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $855,729,347,440.

As of 5/20/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $854,040,229,066.

As of 5/27/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $350,120,324,346.

As of 5/20/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $349,736,400,926.

As of 5/27/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,378,340,843,264.

As of 5/20/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,372,947,403,285.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Force, no matter how concealed, begets resistance. –Lakota

Famous Last Words: I'm going home. --Gladys Knight & the Pips Every Beat of My Heart

..........Look what's happening in the streets.........Jefferson Airplane …..Volunteers

Invest in the perfume making industry. It just makes scents. / The Catholic Church is selling perfume made from holy water. It's called Eau My God.

May Peace be your perfume

And Joy your cologne

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

ePistle aWaits

 Famous First Words: Blood Donor Shortage ..American Red Cross website ~~It can help you find a donation center near you

It's National Waitstaff Day! I complained to the waitress that my coffee tastes like mud. “It should,” she said,” it was fresh ground this morning.” / My boyfriend is a waiter who only wears Armani suits. I told him to act his wage.

..........I don't stay out late, don't care to go..........Fats Waller …..Aint' Misbehavin'

Equitable exchange and dialogue among civilizations, cultures, and peoples, based on mutual understanding and respect and the equal dignity of all cultures is the essential prerequisite for constructing social cohesion, reconciliation among peoples, and peace among nations. --UN World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue & Development.

It is another rainy Friday morning, warm (71°F) and muggy (RH 89%). The sky is completely covered with featureless white clouds that are not quite thick enough to mask the presence of the sun above them. There is a south wind that blows around the tree limbs and flower stalks and even the short grasses. Five different shades of green are revealed on one tree as it dances in the wind. I venture onto the patio in bare feet. It feels good. A hawk flies over, slowly circling. I wave to her but she does not respond. The backyard is still littered with the lumber of the soon (hopefully) to be storage shed. The wind smells not just of damp soil and wet foliage but of sodden wood. Yesterday was the eighth day in a row with measurable rainfall and Bruno's yard is beginning to look like a lake. (When does it stop being good for the farmers?) Puck does not like rain or wet patios or grass. He looks at me as if to ask: aren't you obligated to provide a dry place for me to pee? I retreat indoors where it is dry and sweeten up a cup of decaf. It is a good morning to sit down and write to you.

Hope your weekend is fast and friendly, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: That was a cyberattack? I thought it was the latest Windows update. --Submitted by the Heinlein Society

Say what you want to say about waitresses, but they bring a lot to the table. / I'm never going back to that restaurant. The waiter body-shamed me. He told me he was sorry for my weight.

..........My mother was a tailor, she sewed my new blue jeans.........The Animals with Hilton Valentine …..House of the Rising Sun

Trivia Questions: In honor of National Pizza Party Day – What do we know about pizza?

^ Any idea when or where the “modern” pizza originated?

^^ How many slices of pizza does the US eat per, oh , let's say per second?

^^^ Care to guess how much the world's most expensive pizza costs or where to find it?

^^^^ What do you know about pizza delivery in space?

^^^^^ Who was the first known pizza delivery boy? --Yes, you do know, you just don't know you know.

Big Hello: Hello – Cuyonon (Philippines) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: When spiders unite they can tie down a lion. --African Proverb

Max Picture of the Week AND Recreating art with anything at hand: Max, sans cast, says he is a pirate and I say he is The Boy With The Pearl Earring, sans earring.

Fake Library Statistics of the Week: Due to strange noises, 67% of staff refuse to be in the library alone. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

I once dated a one legged waiter. He worked at IHOP. / I think my waitress is hungry. She keeps asking how my food is.

..........I just want to live while I'm alive.........The Animals with Hilton Valentine …..It's My Life

Moonbeam: When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both. --Al Franken

Meditation Seed of the Week: How far east can you go before you’re heading west?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How do you tell the difference between a fully vaccinated person and an unvaccinated person? Ask them who won the election. --Submitted by dr of oh

Week of the Week: National Transportation Week (16-22) --The saddest form of transportation? Moped / The Biden administration is obsessed with “green” transportation. So the buses are running on thyme.

Waitress, do you have lobster tails? Yes, Once upon a time there was a little lobster named Lenny and he... / The waiter asked if I had any questions about the menu but he couldn't tell me if the burger fonts were Cambria or Sitka.

..........When we're passing by, flowers droop and sigh.........Fats Waller …..Honeysuckle Rose

^ Greeks and Egyptians were cooking a pizza like flatbread and topping it with olive oil and spices. The “modern pizza” as we know it evolved in Naples Italy, when tomato was added in the late 18th century.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 21, 2021. The moon was in the first quarter on Wednesday and is in Virgo. It is American Red Cross Founder's Day, End of the World Day aka Rapture Party Day, I Need A Patch For That Day, National Waitstaff Day, Sister Maria Hummel Day, and World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue & Development. Because it is the third Friday it is also Endangered Species Day, International Virtual Assistants Day, NASCAR Day, National Bike to Work Day, and National Pizza Party Day.

Among those born on this day were Plato (427 BCE), Albrecht Dürer (1471), Alexander Pope (1688), Elizabeth Fry (1780), Léon Bourgeois (1851), Fats Waller (Thomas Wright, 1904), Robert Montgomery (1904), Harold Robbins (1916), Dennis Day (1917), Raymond Burr (1917), Peggy Cass (1924), Robert Creeley (1926), Hilton Valentine (Animals, 1943), Al Franken (1951), Judge Reinhold (1957), and Tracy Simien (1967).

On May twenty-first the Treaty of Troyes gave France to England (1420), Lady Jane Grey married Guildford Dudley (1553), the West Indian Company sold 1/3 of Suriname (1683), Lewis and Clark set out (1804), bicycles were first introduced in the US (NYC, 1819), the first Democratic National Convention was held (1832), New Zealand became a British colony (1840), Lawrence was sacked by pro-slavery forces (1856), North Carolina seceded (10th, 1861), Father Damien was ordained (Hawaii, 1864), the American Red Cross was founded (1881), US National Lawn Tennis Association was founded (1881), Greyhound Bus Company opened for business (1914), US House passed the woman suffrage amendment (1918), Lindbergh completed ths first solo transatlantic flight by a man (1917), Earhart completed first solo, transatlantic flight by a woman (1932), Oskaloosa, IA first used fingerprints in court (1934), US nuked Bikini Atoll (1956), Gypsy opened on Broadway (1959), the National Guard was mobilized to quell protests at Ohio State University (1970), the last episode of Newhart aired (1990),

Night Sky, 5/21: Vega is now nicely up in the east-northeast after dark. Look for its faint little constellation Lyra, the Lyre, dangling down from it with its bottom canted to the right. Lyra's main stars form a little equilateral triangle (Vega is one corner) and a parallelogram attached to the triangle's bottom star. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Ariake Arena – Built for the Tokyo Olympics which open in a month

This Week: Saturday, May 22 – International Day for Biological Diversity & National Craft Distillery Day

Sunday, May 23 – Drinking With Chickens Day & Neighbor Day & World Turtle Day

Night Sky, 4/23: What is the oldest thing you have ever seen? For everyone in the world it's at least the Sun, age 4.6 billion years. Everything on or near Earth's surface is much younger. But Arcturus, which most people have surely seen whether they knew it or not, since it's one of the brightest stars, is even older . It's a Population II orange giant, whose age is about 7 billion years, which is just passing through our region of the Milky Way.

Monday, May 24 – Brothers' Day & Morse Code Day & Victoria Day

Tuesday, May 25 – Cookie Monster's Birthday & National Tap Dance Day & Nerd Pride Day or Geek Pride Day

Wednesday, May 26 – Day of Vesak & National Paper Airplane Day & World Otter Day

Night Sky, 5/26: If you are in Australia, parts of the western US, western South America, or in South-East Asia, you will see the Super Flower Full Moon totally eclipsed and turn a shade of red for about 14 minutes during this total lunar eclipse weather permitting. Total Lunar Eclipse on May 26, 2021 – Where and When to See (timeanddate.com)

Thursday, May 27 – Eat More Fruits and Vegetables Day

It was Terry's first time in a restaurant and he was trying to remember everything his mother had told him. He ordered off the menu, enjoyed the meal, paid the bill, and pushed his waiter down on the floor. It was all good fun but he still didn't understand why you were supposed to tip the waiter. / The waitresses at the T-Rex restaurant seemed really stressed out. I guess they must have been short-handed

..........I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor..........The Animals with Hilton Valentine …..Don't Bring Me Down

^^ The United States eats 350 slices of pizza every second.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sometimes you just need to lay on the couch and read for a couple of years.

Moonbeam: Love is a serious mental disease. --Plato

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie praying over the trail mix he has already eaten.

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: The castle, once occupied by the man who inspired Count Dracula, is offering free puncturing services. Really, Dracula? You think anyone's going to fall for this? Reps from the castle confirmed that every weekend in May, walk-in appointments for the COVID vaccine will be available, but they cannot confirm you will walk out. --Mos Jobrani Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me 5/14/21

UNESCO’s Interreligious Dialogue programme, an essential component of Intercultural Dialogue, aims to promote dialogue among different religions, spiritual, and humanistic traditions in a world where conflicts are increasingly associated with religious belonging. --UN World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue & Development.

I was at the diner and the waiter asked me if I wanted to hear today's special. When I nodded, he said, “Today is very special.” / If you think the waitress is bad...you should see the manager.

..........You can tell all my pets, all my Harlem coquettes..........Fats Waller …..Lulu's Back in Town

^^^ Luis XIII in Salerno, Italy has the world’s most expensive pizza with a price tag of $12,000! This is no ordinary pizza, first the dough is aged perfectly before the chef arrives at your home. Yes, they will create this masterpiece in your home kitchen. Some of the ingredients include, three types of caviar, lobster from Norway, Cilento, bufala mozzarella cheese, and grains of pink Australian sea-salt from the Murray River.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Teach your kids to love music gear and they'll never have enough money to buy drugs.

Weird Word of the Week: US: Jalap or UK: Jollop – a liquid medicine of some sort, particularly cough syrup or a laxative. World Wide Words: Jollop

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Preserve floral arrangements. Spray Alberto VO5 Hair Spray on baby's breath, broom grass, and cattails to help preserve them. Hair Spray works like fixative, holding delicate buds and flowers in place. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge comes from listener Jim Dale, of Plano, Texas. Think of a word with six syllables that's spelled with only 11 letters — and the four middle syllables have the same vowel. What word is it? NPR Sunday Puzzle 5/16/21

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Jooooe's Diiiiiiiner."

...........If it's the last thing we ever do...........The Animals with Hilton Valentine …..We Gotta Get Out of This Place

^^^^ In 2001, the Russian Space Agency was paid more than a million bucks to deliver a six-inch pizza to the International Space Station. Russian cosmonaut,Yuri Usachov had the honor of being the first person to receive a pizza delivery while in orbit.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: T-Shirt: I survived the great fuel shortage of Thursday.

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Supanova Comic-Con & Gaming Expo (Melbourne, 22-23) Fast tracked from cinemas... Home - Supanova Comic Con & Gaming

Actual Science Convention of the Week: Bionanotechnology and Advanced Biorheology Conference (Vancouver, 20-21) ...diverse scholarly events... International Conference on Advanced Bionanotechnology, Biocatalysis and Biorheology ICABBB in May 2021 in Vancouver (waset.org)

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Eligibility

Disgusting food. Terrible service. Drunk waiters. My uncle's hotel welcomes you. / Went to a burger joint a while ago. My son, 8 at the time, ordered sliders. When the waitress came with our orders, his plate fell and the food went everywhere. He looked at me straight-faced and said, "I guess that's why they call them sliders."

..........Here we are, out of cigarettes........Fats Waller …..Two Sleepy People

^^^^^ Future King David delivered roasted grain, bread, and cheese (that sounds like pizza to me) to his brothers on the battlefield and that's how he happened to meet and defeat Goliath. I Samuel 17

Science Quote of the Week: It's a very sobering feeling to be up in space and realize that one's safety factor was determined by the lowest bidder on a government contract. --Alan Shepard, astronaut

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Not saying lumber prices are getting out of hand but I was thinking of building a birdhouse and the bank turned down my loan. --Submitted by INRITH

Today's Peace of History, May 21, 1979: Elton John became the first western rocker to perform live in the USSR.

What do you call a Rhodes Scholar with a bottle of champagne? A waiter / Oh, waitress, there's a caterpillar in my salad.” “I'm so sorry sir, I didn't know you were vegetarian.”

..........I'm just a soul whose intentions are good.........The Animals with Hilton Valentine …..Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 21, 2021, ePistle aWaiting. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: People are not like a business. --Harold Robbins

Cost of War:

As of 5/20/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,131,592,158,506.

As of 5/13/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,129,633,103,397.

As of 5/20/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,037,577,540,682.

As of 5/13/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,036,245,690,807.

As of 5/20/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $854,040,229,066.

As of 5/13/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $852,365,911,126.

As of 5/20/21Veterans Care since 2001: $349,736,400,926.

As of 5/13/21Veterans Care since 2001: $349,355,867,211.

As of 5/20/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,372,947,403,285.

As of 5/13/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,367,601,364,425.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

Placing culture at the heart of development policy constitutes an essential investment in the world's future and a pre-condition to successful globalization processes that take into account the principles of cultural diversity. --UN World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue & Development.

Famous Last Words: I am gently going to my grave. It is the will of God. --Father Damien's last public writing

..........Dream awhile, scheme a while..........Fats Waller …..I Can't Give You Anything But Love

The new restaurant has a science fiction theme. I was served by Darth Waiter. / I've never been in love but I imagine its similar to the feeling you get when your waitress arrives with your food.

May Peace serve you

And Joy nurture you

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Elderly ePistle

 Famous First Words: COVID-19 VACCINES ARE SAFE AND EFFECTIVE --The Health & Human Services Website

It is National Nursing Home Week (9-15). Overheard in the dining room: If I had murdered you 30 years ago, I'd be out on parole by now.

.........Tired of weeping, tired of moaning...........Cream …..I'm So Glad

As news spread of the brutality faced by Freedom Riders in Anniston and Birmingham, Alabama, the American public had to make a choice: Would it support democracy or mob rule? ~ Adam Strom

It is an incredibly beautiful Friday morning. The blue sky is sprinkled with cheerful white clouds and 62°F is an ideal temperature. The sun comes and goes, shining through the field of white billows. I had an excellent doctor's appointment which always makes the day brighter. Birds are singing in un-orchestrated groups,discussing philosophy for a while and then moving on. The trip to the doctor's office smelled of cars and traffic and the backyard smells of lumber from the storage shed in progress. But the rest of the world smells like flowers and mown grass and spring. And I sip from my cup of Mother's Day coffee and think about you.

Hope your weekend is fintastic, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The brownies I started making in my Easy Bake Oven in 1987 are ready if you guys want one.

Sunny Acres nursing home is so big, elderly Eddie uses GPS to find his way back to his room.

..........a rub dub, just relaxing in the tub........Bobby Darin …..Splish Splash

Trivia Questions: Happy Underground America Day ! What do we know about Earth-Sheltered Houses?

^ Why live in an earth-sheltered house anyway?

^^ What are the two types of earth-sheltered houses?

^^^ When and/or where were the oldest known earth-sheltered houses used?

^^^^ About how much would it cost to buy an abandoned missile silo as underground housing?

^^^^^ Name a famous fictional earth-sheltered village.

Big Hello: Miyaxwe – Cupeño (Southern California) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Instead of a sign that says “do not disturb” I need one that says “already disturbed, proceed with caution”. --Submitted by cf of ks

Max Picture of the Week: Broken leg, what broken leg

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 80/20 Rule: 80% of your patrons will show up during the last 20 minutes you are open https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Downside of Nursing Home Living: elderly Edith doing a pole dance using her cane.

..........It's getting near dawn,when lights close their tired eyes.........Cream …..Sunshine of Your Love

Moonbeam: I believe a lot of disease comes from anxiety, loneliness. --Tom Cochrane

Meditation Seed of the Week: Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The first thing I learned about God was he needed money. --George Carlin

Week of the Week: American Craft Beer Week (10-16) --Craft Beer: It isn't alcoholism; it's a hobby. / Craft Beer: Technically it is a solution.

Down at Sunny Acres instead of food fights, they have pill fights.

..........I told you 'bout the swans, that they live in the park........Cream …..Badge

^ If you are looking for a home with energy-efficient features that will provide a comfortable, tranquil, weather-resistant dwelling, an earth-sheltered house could be right for you.

Almanac: It is Friday, May 14, 2021. The moon is 3 days old and is in Gemini. It is Apraxia Awareness Day, National Chicken Dance Day, National Decency Day, Stars and Stripes Forever Day, and Underground America Day. Because it is the second Friday it is also Fintastic Friday: Giving Sharks A Voice.

Among those born on this day were Peder Horrebow (1679), Gabriel Daniel Fahrenheit (1686), Thomas Gainsborough (1727), Heloise (1919), Bobby Darin (Walden Waldo Cassotto, 1936), Dick Howser (1937), Jack Bruce (Cream, 1943), George Lucas (1944), Robert Jarvik (1946), Al Ciner (1947), Robert Zemeckis (1948), Tom Cochrane (1953), and Gillian Bradshaw (1956).

On May fourteenth delegates gathered in Philadelphia to draw up the US constitution (1787), Lewis and Clark left St Louis (1804), Mendelssohn's Hebrides premiered (1832), Borden patented his process for condensed milk (1853), Vaseline was first sold (1878), the lowest US temperature for May was recorded at -10F (climax CO, 1896), the first passenger flight took off (1908), "We Want Beer" parade was held in NYC (1932), the US officially recognized Israel (1948), the Ernie Kovacs Show debuted (NBC, 1951), the first busload of Freedom Riders arrived in Alabama where they were bombed and burned (1961) ~~Actually freedom rides began in the 1940s. They were organized by C.O.R.E.~~ Underground America Day was first observed (1964), Kuwait became the 111th member of the United Nations (1963), abortion and contraception were legalized in Canada (1969), two Jackson State University students were murdered by the police (1970), Skylab, the first Space Station, was launched (1973), the US nuked Nevada (1975), and Department of Health & Human Services began operation (1980).

Night Sky, 5/14: In early twilight, spot the crescent Moon in the west-northwest. Upper left of it by about 13° (for North America) is little Mars. About the same distance lower right of the Moon is Mercury, and farther to the Moon's lower left is Betelgeuse, the last bright star of Orion to depart as spring advances. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image of the Week: Our new storage shed...on the hoof

This Week: Saturday, May 15 – Morel Mushroom Day & Nylon Stockings Day & the Running of the Preakness

Sunday, May 16 – National Piercing Day & Biographer's Day & Rural Life Sunday & Biographer's Day

Night Sky, 5/16: Three zero-magnitude stars shine after dark in May: Arcturus high in the southeast, Vega much lower in the northeast, and Capella in the northwest. They appear so bright because each is at least 60 times as luminous as the Sun, and because they're all relatively nearby: 37, 25, and 42 light-years from us, respectively.

Monday, May 17 – World Hypertension Day & Same Sex Marriage Day

Tuesday, May 18 – International Museum Day & Visit You Relatives Day

Wednesday, May 19 – National Scooter Day & National Juice Slush Day

Night Sky, 5/19: Jupiter and Saturn (in dim Aquarius and Capricornus, respectively) are well up in the southeast as the first light of dawn begins. Jupiter grabs the eye at magnitude –2.3. Saturn, 16° to Jupiter's right, is one sixteenth as bright at magnitude +0.7.

Thursday, May 20 – Weights and Measures Day & World Bee Day

Nursing Home Truths: People are never too old to not know better.

..........Same old love story you've heard before........Bobby Darin …..Rainin'

^^ Earth-sheltered houses come in Underground (the name says it all) and bermed. A bermed house may be built above grade or partially below grade, with earth covering one or more walls. An “elevational” bermed design exposes one elevation or face of the house and covers the other sides—and sometimes the roof—with earth to protect and insulate the house.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Homophobia: The irrational fear that a gang of gay men will break into your home and completely redecorate. --Submitted by sd of ks

Moonbeam: Music is one of those things that make us feel a little less alone in the world. --Tom Cochrane

Late Night Snacks of the Week: Both of my sources for late night jokes are demanding that I subscribe to the newspaper before I can have access to the jokes. What to do, what to do? ...Who could not find a tiger in Texas. It's not a planned parenthood. --Trevor Noah /

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie the camo swinger

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Mr. Humm is the chef and owner of Eleven Madison Park in New York, called one of the greatest restaurants in the world and the first three-star Michelin restaurant to make the change to an all-plant-based menu. The restaurant says the switch became possible after finally perfecting a way to force feed a plant to fatten up its liver. --Peter Sagal Wait Wait Don't Tell Me 5/8/21

Democracy is a process, not a static condition. It is becoming rather than being. It can easily be lost, but never is fully won. Its essence is eternal struggle. ~ William H. Hastie, the nation's first black federal judge

One day I intend to be that little old person in the nursing home that leads the rebellion and puts vodka in all the IV bags.

..........And watches the ships that go sailin'........Bobby Darin …..Beyond the Sea

^^^ It is thought that from about 15,000 BC migratory hunters in Europe were using turf and earth to insulate simple round huts that were also sunk into the ground .

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They say you're only as old as you feel. I think I may be an exhumed mummy or something. --Submitted by ss of mo

Weird Word of the Week: Jamoke aka moke – A person who provides muscle for a local street boss World Wide Words: Jamoke

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Stiffen ruffled curtains. Hold the fabric taut and spray with Alberto VO5 Hair Spray. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: This challenge comes from listener Evan Kalish, of Bayside, NY. Name a famous blues singer — first and last name as this person is generally known. Change the first letter to a "B," and phonetically you'll get a nationality. Who's the singer, and what's the nationality? NPR Sunday Puzzle 5/9/21

I promise to put more effort into choosing your nursing home than I did with that last birthday card.

...........I'll wait in this place where the sun never shines........Cream …..White Room

^^^^ Missile silos range from $99,000 to $450,000.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What's that special Scottish word for when it's cold, grey, cloomy, and raining? Sumer

Science Fiction Joke of the Week: Three conspiracy theorists walk into a TARDIS. Don't tell me that's just a coincidence.

Actual Science Joke of the Week: A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?” “You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist. “That’s it! I can never remember that word.”

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Ma Rainey → Bahraini

Downside of Nursing Home Living-- They refuse to fill your humidifier with beer.

..........You're the sun and as you shine on me........Cream …..I Feel Free

^^^^^ Hobbit houses were bermed. So Hobbiton is a famous, fictional village of earth-sheltered houses.

Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week: Girl with a Pearl Earring

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Fauci says nausea and splitting headache are symptoms of talking to Rand Paul --The Borowitz Report

Today's Peace of History, May 14, 1941: The first groups of WWII conscientious objectors (COs) were ordered to report to camp at Patapsco, Maryland. They and others formed the Civilian Public Service (CPS) during the war. They performed various duties, among others being trained as smokejumpers dealing with forest fires.

Elderly Ellen got thrown out of Sunny Acres for making dildos during crafts hour.

..........If you don't watch out it will stick to you........Cream …..Strange Brew

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle May 14, 2021, Elderly ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: As a songwriter, if you can touch people and make them feel a little less alone in the world, then you've done your job. --Tom Cochrane

Cost of War:

As of 5/13/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,129,633,103,397.

As of 5/6/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,127,648,786,691.

As of 5/13/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,036,245,690,807.

As of 5/6/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,034,897,068,147

As of 5/13/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $852,365,911,126.

As of 5/6/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $850,670,729,706.

As of 5/13/21Veterans Care since 2001: $349,355,867,211.

As of 5/6/21Veterans Care since 2001: $348,970,547,946.

As of 5/13/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,367,601,364,425.

As of 5/6/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,362,188,765,083.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The Freedom Riders were remarkable, fearless Americans. They were extraordinary, ordinary people . . . young people who took the reins of history and wouldn't let go. ~ Mark Samels

Famous Last Words: Come with us we'll sail the seas of cheese. --Primus

..........So there's never, never a trace of red........Bobby Darin …..Mack the Knife

Overheard in the dining room: These aren't wrinkles, they're laughter lines. Wow, something must have been hilarious.

May Peace stay with you always

And Joy remain your close companion

prairie mama

christine

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