ePistle Mustela

 Famous First Words: In Goldenfield, Iowa... Tennessee Williams Small Craft Warnings

Happy National Ferret Day ! If you ask me, ferrets are nothing but hipster weasels. --Stephenc Colbert / Ferris Ferret bit you and now you're mad? Get o'ferret.

..........Let”s live.........Marvin Gaye …..Let's Get It On

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake. --Jeannette Rankin

It is a gorgeous Friday morning. The sun is bright and the sky is without cloud and yet is dusty and not quite true blue. There is a breeze that makes the willow branches dance and insists that I notice the 42°F temperature. The world is cheerfully green with grass and adolescent iris plants and emerging tree leaves. Puck has been out to lecture any squirrel thinking of dropping into our yard and warning any rabbit to build nests somewhere else. Bird song is distant and indistinct and dog barks are intermittent but sharp and clear. The world smells of spring, of new growth, of exposed soil, with just a hint of floral. I am eating a blueberry muffin and watching the lazy willow waltz out my back window when a bird (small and dark) dive bombs something on the surface that I cannot see and leaves by an unseen northern path. What's more, this absolutely wonderful morning is about to get better because I'm writing to you. Hope your weekend makes you ferret your troubles, ePistliers

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The closest I get to a spa day is when the steam from the dishwasher hits me in the face. --Submitted by #RHOZ

My friend Ida owns 3 ferrets. They got together and started a small business. / A man and his pet ferret walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: "Last call." So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my ferret. The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the ferret falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a ferret.”

..........Sing me a love song........Leon Russell …..Lady Blue

Trivia Questions: It is International Children's Book Day

^ Any idea what, who, or when the very first book for children was published?

^^ Which 1943 book is the all time children's best seller?

^^^ Know what awards are given by the American Library Association for children's literature

^^^^ What is considered the favorite child's book of all time?

^^^^^ Who is/was the richest children's book author?

Big Hello: Marúawe – Comanche https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I was thirsty and you gave me drink. Matthew 25:35 Offer not valid in Georgia

Max Picture of the Week: Max, a broken leg, the splint, and his white ice cream.

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: A roll of book tape will fix 32% of all library problems. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

What do you call a ferret with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can’t hear you! / The only thing we have to fear is ferret elf..

..........But all that it can show me is the prairie and the sky........Emmylou Harris …..Boulder to Birmingham

Moonbeam: Myth is, after all, the never-ending story. –Joan Vinge

Meditation Seed of the Week: What were you doing when you felt most passionate and alive?

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I may look fine but deep down I don't remember any of my passwords.

Week of the Week: Laugh At Work Week (1-7) –I get plenty of exercise – I jump to conclusions, push my luck, and dodge deadlines. / We have enough youth, how about a Fountain of Smart?

Sometimes life isn't ferret at all. / Weasels go to the county fair to ride the Ferrets Wheel.

..........It gets stronger and stronger........Marvin Gaye …..Sexual Healing

^ In 1744, John Newbery published A Little Pretty Pocket-Book. The volume was heralded as the true first book intended for children's pleasure reading.

Almanac: It is Friday, April 2, 2021. The moon will be last quarter on Sunday and is in Capricorn. It is International Children's Book Day, National Ferret Day, National Love Your Produce Manager Day, National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day, Nickelodeon Day, Reconciliation Day, World Autism Day, and World Autism Acceptance Day. Because it is the First Friday it is Hospital Admitting Clerks Day and International Kids Yoga Day. And because it is Good Friday it is also World Marbles Day.

Among those born on this day were Charlemagne (742), Francesco Grimaldi (1618), Casanova (1725), Hans Christian Andersen (1805), Emile Zola (1840), Nicholas Murray Butler (1862), Walter Chrysler (1875), Max Ernst (1891), Buddy Ebsen (1908), Alec Guinness (de Cuffe, 1914), Jack Webb (1920), Marvin Gaye Jr (1939), Leon Russell (Lawton, KS, 1941), Emmylou Harris (1947), Joan Vinge (1948), Victoria Jackson (1959), and Rodney King (1965).

On April second Ponce de Leon claimed Florida for Spain (1513), the Philadelphia mint was established (1792), Fizeau and Foucault took the first photos of the sun (1845), citizens revolted over the price of bread in Richmond (VA, 1863), the first White House Easter egg roll was held (1877), the first motion picture theater opened (LA, 1902), the Cairo-Capetown railway opened (1905), Jeannette Rankin became the first women member of the US House of Representatives (1917), Mary Hirsch became the first woman licensed as a horse trainer (1935), Luna 4 was launched but missed the moon (1963), Dark Shadows aired its final episode (1971), and William's Small Craft Warnings premiered (1972).

Night Sky, 4/2: Shortly after the end of twilight around this time of year, Arcturus, the bright Spring Star climbing in the east, stands just as high as Sirius, the brighter Winter Star descending in the southwest (for skywatchers at mid-northern latitudes). These are the two brightest stars in the sky at the time. But Capella is a very close runner-up to Arcturus! Spot it high in the northwest. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Image Sound of the Week: This tune was painted onto the backside of a resident of hell in Bosch's Garden of Earthly Delights. Hieronymus Bosch Butt Music - YouTube The butt in question is in the lower right hand corner under a giant lute.

This Week: Saturday, April 3 – Tangible Karma Day & Weed Out Hate Day & Find A Rainbow Day

Sunday, April 4 – Easter & Geologists Day & National Move More Day

Night Sky, 4/4: This is the time of year when the dim Little Dipper juts to the right from Polaris (the Little Dipper's handle-end) during late evening. The much brighter Big Dipper curls over high above it, "dumping water" into it. They do the reverse water dump in the fall.

Monday, April 5 – National Deep Dish Pizza Day & Read A Road Map Day & Tater Day (Sweet)

Tuesday, April 6 – Charlie The Tuna Day & National Library Day & New Beers Eve

Wednesday, April 7 – National Beer Day & International Beaver Day & Metric System Day

Night Sky, 4/7: The huge, bright Winter Hexagon is still in view early after dark, filling the sky to the southwest and west. Start with brilliant Sirius in the southwest, the Hexagon's lower left corner. High above Sirius is Procyon. From there look higher upper right for Pollux and Castor (lined up nearly horizontal), lower right from Castor to Menkalinan and then bright Capella, lower left from there to Aldebaran (past Mars), lower left to Rigel at the bottom of Orion, and back to Sirius. The Hexagon is somewhat distended. But if you draw a line through its middle from Capella to Sirius, the "Hexagon" is fairly symmetric with respect to that axis.

Thursday, April 8 – Buddha Day & Draw A Bird Day & Trading Cards For Grownups Day

Silence is golden unless you have ferrets, then it's just suspicious. / Be yourself. Unless you can be a ferret, then be the best ferret you can be.

..........There are concrete mountains in the city........Leon Russell …..Delta Lady

^^ The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry) has sold about 140 million copies. That is 20 million more than Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and 40 million more than Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The ship stuck in the Suez Canal is blocking so much important and useful stuff that they have decided to rename it “McConnell”. --Submitted by rk of ks

Moonbeam: If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud. --Emile Zola

Late Night Snacks of the Week: Mark Gaetz, who represents parts of western Florida and has been a staunch backer of the former president’s baseless election fraud claims, is basically the shrimp tail in your Cinnamon Toast Crunch, He’s not well-liked by anyone. --Jimmy Kimmel --Everyone else is on vacation

Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie showing off 2 fully functional legs

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: When Louis DeJoy was appointed to be postmaster general under the last president, he denied widespread accusations that he was trying to destroy the post office. So this week, he triumphantly unveiled his new management plan, saying, now I'm trying to destroy the post office. The 10-year plan is called, of course, Delivering for America. And it calls for innovations such as longer delivery times, higher prices and shorter office hours. He tried to work in a provision calling for mail carriers to pee on your lawn as they walked by, but that would require having to let them drink on the job, so he didn't want to do that. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me 3/27/21

If they are going to have war, they ought to take the old men and leave the young to propagate the race. --Jeannette Rankin

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a ferret walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the ferret’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the ferret. “Your name is written inside the cover.” / What did the grape say when the ferret stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

..........'Cause tonight I'm gonna see my machez amio........Emmylou Harris …..Jambalaya

^^^ The ALA presents the Newberry Medal to the author of America's Best Children's Book of the Year. They also present the Caldecott Medal for Best Illustrated Children's Book of the Year.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I don't always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket. --Submitted by RHOZ

Weird Word of the Week: Garth – open courtyard enclosed by cloisters. World Wide Words: Garth

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove ink stains from clothes, upholstery, carpet, vinyl, or skin. Spray Alberto VO5 Hair Spray on the affected area, and blot with a paper towel or soft cloth until the stain comes up. The acetone in Alberto VO5 Hair Spray removes indelible marker and ballpoint pen marks. Alberto VO5® Hair Spray: Wacky Uses

Puzzle of the Week: Name a boy's nickname in three letters. Name another boy's nickname in four letters. Say the names out loud, one after the other. The result, phonetically, will be a familiar two-word phrase for someone who is good looking. The phrase is an entry in Merriam-Webster's 11th Collegiate Dictionary. What phrase is this? Public Radio Sunday Puzzle 4/23/06

Why did the ferret cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done! / On Independence Day mustelids watch ferretworks.

...........Like she's slidin' down the walls of Jericho........Emmylou Harris …..Sweetheart of the Rodeo

^^^^ Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown is considered to be the world's favorite child's book. In a soothing, repetitive tone, a young rabbit says goodnight to all the things in the room. Instead of plot,Goodnight Moon looks at the world from the eyes of a very young child, calming children with the ritual of naming each object around them.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Bikini season is just around the corner, but so is the taco truck.

Science Fiction Joke of the Week: Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat. --Robert Heinlein

Actual Science Joke of the Week: The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you. --Neil deGrasse Tyson

Small Rant of the Week: Biden told us that wearing a mask is not political. I agree with that. In the same speech, however, he said, “wear the mask, it's your patriotic duty”. Sigh. You can't haven't both ways. If it is a patriotic duty then it is political. And if it isn't political then it is community duty, or compassionate duty, or even a moral duty but not patriotic. ~~Anyway, what about us matriots?

Answer to Puzzle of the Week: Ike + Andy=Eye Candy

People who own ferrets never wonder what happened to that missing sock. / I always give my ferret coca cola because I was told that pop goes to the weasel.

..........You don't have to hurry........Marvin Gaye …..Ain't No Mountain High Enough

^^^^^ JK Rowling (the Harry Potter books) is estimated to be worth $650 million to 1.2 billion.

Mustela: Mustelids are a diverse group of weaselly mammals

Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week:

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The other day I spotted an albino dalmatian. It's the least I could do for him. --Lynn Miclea

Today's Peace of History, April 2, 1931: 17-year-old Jackie Mitchell, the second woman to play baseball in the all-male minor leagues, pitched an exhibition game against the Yankees and struck out both Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig. The next day, the Baseball Commissioner voided her contract, claiming baseball was too strenuous for women. The ban was not overturned until 1992.

What do you call a ferret that can pick up an elephant? Sir / Ferrets favor fashions by Ferretti.

..........One side's ice and one is fire........Leon Russell …..Tight Rope

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle, April 2, 2021, ePistle Mustela. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: To know another language is to have a second soul. --Charlemagne, King of the Franks

Cost of War:

As of 4/1/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,117,779,298,200.

As of 3/25/21 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,115,795,906,911.

As of 4/1/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,028,189,758,197.

As of 3/25/21 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $1,026,841,818,315.

As of 4/1/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $842,238,469,911.

As of 3/25/21 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $840,543,920,221.

As of 4/1/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $347,054,181,432.

As of 3/25/21 Veterans Care since 2001: $346,669,052,117.

As of 4/1/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,335,262,354,516.

As of 3/25/21 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,329,851,360,335.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

There can be no compromise with war; it cannot be reformed or controlled; cannot be disciplined into decency or codified into common sense. --Jeannette Rankin

Famous Last Words: ...but a memory of the distant past. --Narrator final scene Dark Shadows

..........Was I just off somewhere or just too high........Emmylou Harris …..Goodbye

Education is important but ferrets are importanter. / It's impawssible for a ferret to resist taking your stuff. / In the choir Wally Weasel sings ferretone.

May Peace make your Friday Good

And Joy renew your weekend

prairie mama

christine

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