Famous First Words: Professor Tigwiggel becoming alarmed at the frequency and audacity of burglaries...Prof. Tigwiggel's Burglar Alarm --Livingston Hopkins The first comic strip ever published in a newspaper
September is National Piano Month: Do you remember Dracula Borge? He used to torture his victims with his piano until they begged for death. His Bach was worse than his bite. / Pianist Patty texted her husband: Gone :Chopin, Have Liszt, Bach in a Minuet
..........and the waitress is practicing politics.........Billy Joel …..Piano Man
In a gentle way, you can shake the world. --Mahatma Gandhi
It is a cool (57°F), damp Friday morning. Bruno is huddling under his deck and Puck remains indoors. There is no sun penetrating the thick layer of gray clouds. No breeze moves the willow branches or the bushes and foliage shiny with drops of last night's rain. A stillness reigns. Even the birds are silent and hidden. Sigh
It's already started so... I intend to spend this day forgiving. I forgive the men who stole the planes and used them to kill people. I forgive the bosses who told them to do it. I forgive Bush & Rice who refused to prevent it. I forgive the American greed and hate that drove them to it. I forgive those who use that tragedy to normalize hate and fear, to lock children in cages, and shoot innocent men in the back seven times. I forgive myself for being unable to not feel the hate and fear and insecurity around me. Peace, epistliers
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I keep thinking I wouldn't mind the cooler weather to kick in but I don't want to get too enthusiastic about it because I am 100% sure this is the year we will get flammable snow. --Matthew Phillion # Submitted by INRITH
Pianist Peter's fingers were like lightning, they rarely struck the same place twice. / What happens when you play Beethoven backwards? He decomposes.
..........We're sittin' at an upright, my sweetie and me.........The Andrew Sisters …..The Old Piano Roll Blues
Trivia Questions: Happy Banana Day !
^ About how many bananas does it take to add up to one pound?
^^ How many bananas made a “hand”?
^^^ Banana plants are the planet's largest plant without what biological support?
^^^^ Where are bananas grown commercially?
^^^^^ What three nutrition no-nos do bananas lack?
Big Hello: Barev – Armenian (eastern) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is not an appropriate response. Who knew? --Submitted by #RHOZ
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: Library service desks average 3 drawers of nothing but “Out of Order” signs. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Exactly how is an 11-foot concert Steinway grand better than a well tuned studio upright? It makes a much bigger boom when pushed off a cliff. / Old pianists never die, they just adagio away.
..........Now my Mama don't allow no piano playin' in here.........Smiley Burnette …..Mama Don't Allow
Moonbeam: A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows. --O Henry
Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: Sapphire – September birthstone
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I've never played the bagpipes, but I have carried a screaming, three year old over my shoulder. --Submitted by INRITH
Week of the Week: National Waffle Week (6-12) --Waffle House...because the poor decisions you made the night before weren't enough. / A waffle with a split personality has an alter eggo.
The piano has been drinking, not me. --Tom Waits / To climb to the top of a tall piano, you must scale it. / I love piano players; they can do magic things with their fingers.
..........An' who tickles ivories like nobody livin'.........Manhattan Transfer …..King Porter
^ 3 medium size bananas weigh approximately 1 pound.
Almanac: It is Friday, September 11, 2020. The moon was last quarter yesterday and is in Cancer. It is Libraries Remember Day, National Day of Service and Remembrance, Patriot Day, Remember Freedom Day and Stand Up to Cancer Day. In Ethiopia it is New Year's Day and in Pakistan it is Jinnah Day (1948). Because it is the second Friday, it is also Banana Day.
Among those born on this day were O Henry (1862), James Jeans (1877), D H Lawrence (1885), Mohandas Gandhi (1906), Bear Bryant (1913), Ferdinand Marcos (1917), Tom Landry (1924), Earl Holliman (1928), Lola Falana (1939), Brian DePalma (1940), Leo Kottke (1945), and Virginia Madsen (1961).
On September eleventh Alexander Hamilton was appointed Secretary of the Treasurer (1789), Jenny Lind gave her first US concert (1850), the first newspaper cartoon strip was published (1875), the Bronx Gas & Electric Company opened (1893), the US invaded Honduras (1919), Britain took over rule of Palestine (1922), and Boulder Dam (now known as Hoover Dam) was dedicated (1936).
Night Sky, 9/11: Vega now passes the zenith an hour after sunset during late twilight, for those of us at mid-northern latitudes. Vega is bigger, hotter, and 50 times brighter than our Sun. But at a distance of 25 light-years, it's 1.6 million times farther away. The Sun is only 8.3 light-minutes from us. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max Chill, Joe Cool's cousin
This Week: Saturday, September 12 – Prairie Day & Video Games Day & Wicket World of Croquet Day
Sunday, September 13 -Grandparent's Day & National Peanut Day & Scooby-Doo Day
Night Sky, 9/13: By 9 or 10 pm two of the best-known deep-sky objects, the Double Cluster in Perseus and the Great Andromeda Galaxy M31, are in high view in the east. Did you know they're only 22° apart? They're both cataloged as 4th magnitude but to the naked eye they look rather different, the more so the darker your sky.
Monday, September 14 – National Sober Day & National Kreme Filled Donut Day
Tuesday, September 15 – Greenpeace Day & International Dot Day & National On-Line Learning Day
Wednesday, September 16 – Mayflower Day & Ozone Layer Day & National Guacamole Day
Night Sky, 9/16: The wide W pattern of Cassiopeia is tilting up in the northeast these nights. Look below the W's last segment, the one on the lower left, by a little farther than the segment's length. Can you see an enhanced little spot of the Milky Way's glow here? Binoculars will show it to be the Perseus Double Cluster — even through a fair amount of light pollution.
Thursday, September 17 – Citizenship Day & National PawPaw Day & Time's Up Day
There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself. --Bach / Piano is not my forte.
..........We learn to live when we learn to give.........McCartney & Wonder …..Ebony and Ivory
^^ A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are known as fingers.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The devil whispered to all the 2020 teachers, “Your not strong enough to withstand this storm.” And the teachers simply whispered back, “You're”. --Submitted by bu of ks
Moonbeam: God is only a great imaginative experience. --D H Lawrence
Late Night Snacks of the Week: I’m not sure what’s more upsetting: the comments Trump reportedly made or what he’ll do to change the subject: "and that’s why we’re nuking the moon”. --Jimmy Fallon / Everyone’s talking about the 'right' way to protest… If I had a magic wand, I wouldn’t be trying to fix protests. I’d use it to get the police to stop brutalizing Black people. That’s why the protests are happening. --Trevor Noah
Ollie's Very Own Picture of the Week: Ollie, with furrowed brow, and that Rabbit – again...
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Finally, a reason to stay alive until next year. The Girl Scouts announced a brand-new French toast-flavored cookie called Toast-Yay! We assume the Girl Scouts said, to make sure our product is unique, let's name it after the one phrase that no one ever has said once. I guess Toast-Boo was too on-the-nose. By the way, for those who don't remember, yay is a word that was used to express joy back in the early 2010s. For those who don't remember what joy is, well, hey, the Girl Scouts have a new cookie. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 9/5/20
Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:Cow farts come from the dairy air. --Submitted by #RHOZ
Action expresses priorities. --Mahatma Gandhi
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. --Bob Hope talking about Phyllis Diller / What does a Steinway? about 800 pounds.
..........No line switch..........EPND …..Funky Piano
^^^ Banana plants are the largest plants on earth without a woody stem. They are actually giant herbs of the same family as lilies, orchids and palms.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The medical name for a butt crack is Intergluteal Cleft.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Treat yourself like I-70 and never stop working on yourself no matter how inconvenient it is for everyone else. --Submitted by ae of mo
Weird Word of the Week: Halfpace - It is a landing, certainly, but not just any landing. It refers to that small landing at the top of a flight of stairs where you have to turn and take another flight of stairs whether going up or down.
Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dogs prepare you for babies. Cats prepare you for teenagers. --Submitted by #RHOZ
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Carry snacks. When traveling, pack snacks in Ziploc Storage bags. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/ziploc.html
Piano: A cumbersome piece of furniture found in many homes, where playing it ensures the early departure of unwanted guests. -David W Barber / Gimme' a fifth of Beethoven on the Rachs.
...........But ten all dancing straight in line.........Mary Healy …..Then Happy Fingers
^^^^ Bananas are not grown commercially in the continental United States. They are grown in Latin and South America from countries like Costa Rica, Ecuador, Colombia, Honduras, Panama, and Guatemala.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: There are two kinds of people in this world...avoid both of them. --Submitted by sb of ar
Science Fiction Joke of the Week: One man's theology is another man's belly laugh. --Robert Heinlein
Actual Science Joke of the Week: Physics is to math what sex is to masturbation. --Richard Feynman
Mild Mannered Curse of the Week: May you see your typo only after yuo hit send.
Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it. --Tom Lehrer / Don't date piano technicians, they just string you along.
..........The never-ending swaying haze..........Panic! At The Disco …..The Piano Knows Something I Don't Know
^^^^^ Bananas have no fat, cholesterol, or sodium.
Month of the Week: September is Library Card Sign Up Month Dear Santa, I want books, computers... and the ability to travel through time and space. - Johnny Dear Johnny, Here's a library card. Santa
Recreating Famous Painting With Anything You Can Find of the Week:
https://www.boredpanda.com/art-recreation-at-home-museum-challenge/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Goodnight moon. Goodnight Zoom. Goodnight sense of impending doom. --Submitted by st of ar
Today's Peace of History, September 11, 2002: Women In Black (WIB) Baltimore started the first Peace Path as a response to 9/11 World Trade Center attacks. The nonviolent action presented images of peace rather than war and militarism as a response to problems.
The piano ain't got no wrong notes. --Thelonious Monk / You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
..........where the gin is cold, but the piano's hot..........Catherine Zeta-Jones …..All That Jazz
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle September 11, 2020, Steinway ePistle. Peace, Pleasantries, and Pianos Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: Sadly, I really want to be Batman … and I just never will be. --Virginia Madsen
Cost of War:
As of 9/10/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,060,529,746,704.
As of 9/3/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,058,486,225,047.
As of 9/10/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $989,282,271,371.
As of 9/3/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $987,893,650,623.
As of 9/10/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $793,326,151,778.
As of 9/3/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $791,580,589,783.
As of 9/10/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $335,937,737,580.
As of 9/3/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $335,541,087,917.
As of 9/10/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,179,076,781,668.
As of 9/3/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,173,502,633,519.
https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/
An ounce of practice is worth a thousand words. --Mahatma Gandhi
Famous Last Words: ...I won it in a crap game. --Call of the Wild (the movie, released 9/11/19)
..........Or a high toned baby grand.........Tony DeSare …..I Love a Piano
The piano keys are black and white but they sound like a million colors in your mind. --Maria Cristina Mena / Kyle had been practicing all week when he heard a knock at the door. He opened the door and saw a little man, with a little mustache, standing on his front porch. “Hello!” said the man, “I’m the piano tuner!” “I didn’t send for a piano tuner,” said Kyle. “I know,” said the man, “Your next door neighbors did!”
May Peace play your melody
And Joy cover the harmony
prairie mama
christine
Last Laugh:
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