Famous
First Words: NOW,
THEREFORE, I, William H Taft... Declaration of first Father's Day
(1910)
It
is National Hermit Week (13-20). A
traveler made a long, arduous journey to find a hermit who was
reputed to be wise. After searching the wilderness for many weeks,
he finally found the old man in his hideaway. "Tell me about
life," said the traveler. "Well," said the hermit,
"life is like a fish." The traveler thought on this for a
while, then said to the hermit, "How is life like a fish?"
The hermit sat silently, pondering the question. Minutes turned to
hours, as the sun moved across the sky and sank towards the horizon.
Finally, the hermit said, "Okay, maybe life isn't like a fish."
..........I've
been a fool before.........Paula Abdul …..Straight Up
And
by virtue of the power, and for the purpose aforesaid, I do order and
declare that all persons held as slaves within said designated
States, and parts of States, are, and henceforward shall be free;
--Abraham Lincoln
It
is a drippy Friday morning. Last night's rain has stopped but it
still drips off of eaves (plop, plop) and fence rails (splat, splat)
and patio furniture (plip, plip). The sky is a universal slate gray
that suggests more rain may be on the way. This gives a dark and
ominous look and feel to air itself. Everything is wet – grass,
patio, flowers, and trees. 72°F and all the humidity leave the air
thick and steamy. Puck does his business and returns indoors without
a single bark at unseen squirrels or rabbits. The world smells of
damp, grass, cement, and metal. Finally we close the door. Puck
settles down for his early morning nap and I doctor my Moose Munch –
sweetener, ½ and ½ . On the Road Again comes up on my
playlist. And I sit down to write to you. Ahhh
Jubilant
Juneteenth, ePistliers
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Pink Freud: The Dark Side
Of Your Mom
The
Hermit Crab called his home Michelle. / Hermit Jane's constant and
consistent advise: Hold down control, shift, and escape.
Favorite
Protest Signs of the Week #1:
Karens Against Police Brutality / I'd like to speak to the manager of
Systemic Racism please.
..........Played
inside the months of moon..........Heart (with
Ann Wilson) ….Magic Man
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday to Garfield the
Cat!
^
How old is Garfield, anyway?
^^
Who is Garfield's human?
^^^
Where does Garfield live?
^^^^
How much is Garfield worth?
^^^^^
By what other names is international Garfield known?
Big
Hello:
Fâla – Albanian
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Sometimes I wonder if all this is happening because I didn't forward
that message to 10 other people. --Submitted by inrith
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
Library computers are specifically designed not to accept USB drives
until the third try. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
If
I buy 2 hermit crabs and put them in the same aquarium, are they
still hermit crabs? / Fred became a hermit. He spent 10 years
sitting alone in a cave in the woods. Eventually he became known for
his vague metaphorical mumbo jumbo.
Favorite
Protest Signs of the Week #2:
Go Back To Eating Donuts / Everyone vs Racists
..........I'm
gonna take this love right to ya........Paula Abdul …..Rush Rush
Moonbeam:
Movies
are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash we
have very little reason to be interested in them.
--Pauline Kael
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: Cornflower
Big
Question of the Week: Remember, at the
beginning of shelter in place, remember all those things we were
going to get done...clean out the closet...paint the back
bedroom...sort the box of pictures. Did any of those things get
done? Have you done any of the things on your list?
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm
frightened of the old ones. --John Cage
Week
of the Week:
National
Flag Week (14-20)
--Did
you wish your Stars and Stripes a “Flappy Birthday”? / The
colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing
behind you. / What does it mean when the flag is flying at half-mast
at the post office? They're hiring.
So,
he gave up all his worldly possessions and left society to pray in
the woods, he prayed everyday, then after many many years god appears
before him. God: I'm pleased by your dedication, you may ask for
anything and I'll grant your wish. Hermit: Okay, but what took you so
long, I have been praying for a very long time now. God: The time in
heaven works differently, it may have been two decades for you but
for me it was just a single second. Hermit: Okay then, I wish for a
kingdom, a very beautiful wife and lots of wealth. God looks
thoughtful for a moment and then says,' Darn! I forgot my wish
granting wand, be back in a minute.'
Favorite
Protest Signs of the Week #3:
If Your Beliefs Fit On A Sign, Think Harder / This Is My Resisting
Bitch Face
..........We're
getting older, the world's getting colder..........Heart
(with Ann Wilson) ….Dog And Butterfly
^
The Garfield strip first appeared in 1978; so Garfield is 42.
It is drawn by Jim Davis.
Almanac:
It is Friday, June 19, 2020. The moon will be new on Sunday and is
in Gemini. It is Juneteenth and Garfield the Cat
Day. In Algeria it is the Anniversary of the Revolution (1965).
Trinidad & Tobago celebrate Labor Day and in Uruguay it is
Artigas Day (1764) Because it is the third Friday it is National
Flip Flop Day, Ugliest Dog Day, World Sickle Cell Day, and World
Sauntering Day. Finally because it is the Friday before Father's Day
it is Work@Home Father's Day.
Among
those born on this day were James VI (Scotland) aka
James I (England, 1556), Blaise Pascal (1623), John Barrow (1764),
Elbert Hubbard (1856), Mrs Simpson (Bessie Wallis Warfield, Duckess
of Windsor, 1896), Moe Howard (1897), Guy Lombardo (1902), Lester
Flatt (1914), Louis Jourdan (1919), Pauline Kael (1919), Neals Bohr
(1922), Gena Rowlands (1936), Spanky McFarlane (1942), Malcolm
McDowell (1943), Kathleen Turner (1949), Salman Rushdie (1947),
Phylicia Ayers-Allen Rashad (1947), Ann Wilson (1951), Paula Abdul
(1962), and Garfield the Cat (1978).
On
June nineteenth Eratosthenes estimated the circumference of Earth
(240 BCE), slavery finally came to an end in Texas (1865), the first
Belmont Stakes was run (Ruthless won, 1867), Father's Day was first
celebrated (1910), the first photoelectric cell was installed (CT,
1931), the Federal Communications Commission was created (FCC, 1934),
I've Got a Secret debuted
(CBS, 1952), Kuwait wins independence from Britain (1961), the
Supreme Court struck down a MD provision that required state office
holders to believe in God (1961), Valentina Tereshkova returned to
Earth (1963), Pete Rose and Willie Davis both hit career 2000 (1973),
and Geffen records signed their first artist (Donna Summer, 1987).
Night
Sky, 6/19: Leo
the Lion is mostly a constellation of late winter and spring. But
he's not gone yet. As twilight ends look due west, somewhat low, for
Regulus, his brightest and now lowest star: the forefoot of the Lion
stick figure. The Sickle of Leo extends upper right from Regulus. The
rest of the Lion's constellation figure extends for almost three
fists to the upper left, to his tail star Denebola, the highest.
He'll soon be treading away into the sunset.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Chef Max making a Birthday Cake worthy of a dad.
This
Week: Saturday, June 20 –
American Eagle Day & Mermaid Day & National Library
Legislative Day
Night
Sky, 6/20: The
June solstice arrives today at 5:44 pm EDT. This is when the Sun
reaches its northernmost declination in Earth's sky and begins its
six-month return southward. Summer begins in the Northern Hemisphere,
winter in the Southern Hemisphere.
Sunday,
June 21 Father's Day & World Giraffe Day & World Music
Day
Night
Sky, 6/21: Annular Solar Eclipse – Not visible in the US
Monday,
June 22 – World Rain Forest Day & Stupid Guy Thing Day
Tuesday,
June 23 – America's Kids Day & Let It Go Day &
Public Service Day
Wednesday,
June 24 – Celebration of the Senses & International
Fairy Day & Stonewall National Monument Day
Thursday,
June 25 – National Hand Shake Day & National Police
Community Cooperative Day
The
Hermit Crab wanted to show off his new apartment so he took some
shelfies. / Karen traveled to meet with the lady hermit on the side
of Mt Godwin. She sat zazen and listened to her talk about all
things being connected and the meaning of life. She listened for 3
hours. When the hermit had finished, Karen asked, “Could you get
that down to 140 characters?”
Favorite
Protest Signs of the Week #4: I
Wish This Was Fake News / Stand Up For Those Stood On
..........You're
like a long, cool glass of lemonade........Paula Abdul …..Crazy
Cool
^^
Jon is Garfield's owner. In the first strip he is introduced as a
cartoonist, but his job has never been mentioned again. He doesn't
seem to have a surname.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dear Daughter-in-law, I
didn't give you the gift of life. I gave you my amazing son. Thank
you for not selling him to the circus. I know how tempting that
option was some days. Love, your Mother-in-law
Moonbeam:
Einstein, stop telling God what to do! --Neals Bohr
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: "Cops" is
a long-running reality show in which funny, caring police officers
arrest supposedly real criminals who are almost always drunk and
often naked. But it's now off the air. Most people celebrated the
news, but others say we need a professionally produced show like
"Cops" because amateur videos made of goofy police hijinks
are too often ruined by all the teargas. --Peter Sagal Wait,
Wait Don't Tell Me
6/13/20
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week:
But the
key question there is what’s the trade-off? If the police could
guarantee that they could prevent all robberies but the only way to
do is that by having an officer stationed in every bathroom watching
you every time you take a shit, I’m not sure everyone would agree
that it’s worth it, and the people who do, might want that for
reasons other than preventing crime. --John Oliver / On the other
side of the coin – the side Lincoln is on
-- Nascar
announced this week it will no longer allow Confederate flags at its
races. So Nascar now has done more to fight racism than the president
has.
--Jimmy Kimmel / Why did Congress have Confederate statues in the
first place? I mean, the Confederacy fought against America, so why
would you have statues of them in America’s Capitol building? That
makes no sense. It’s like white ladies having statues of gluten in
their kitchen. --Trevor Noah / I guess he just misses walking out to
a large crowd that he hasn’t teargassed. -- Stephen Colbert
...the
Executive Government of the United States, including the military and
naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of
such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or
any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom.
--Abraham Lincoln
Hermit
crabs pay their utility bills with shell fees. / Fred came across a
hermit sitting outside a cave in the middle of the woods. He threw
himself at the feet of the hermit and said, “Thank God! Can you
tell me how to get back to the interstate?”
Preantepenultimate
Funnieset Thing I Read of the Week:
The Flat Earth Society is reporting that the 6 foot social distancing
measures are pushing some of their members over the edge.
--Submitted by fnog
..........No
time to be young..........Heart (with Ann Wilson) ….Crazy On You
^^^
Garfield is set in Davis's hometown of Muncie, IN, but that's also is
mostly left unsaid.
Worthless
Fact of the Week:
Mosquitos
are attracted
to the color blue
twice as much as to any other color.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
If we can just get through this month , we only have one more month
to go before we need to get through another month. --Submitted by
inrith
Weird
Word of the Week:
Zymurgy – art or practice of fermentation. Greek: zume – leaven,
yeast http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-zai1.htm
Antepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
hate when I open a pack of apples and find a bad one but the rest
still shoot tear gas at me. --Steeve again
Wacky
Uses for Common Products: Fix eyeglasses. In an emergency, put
a small piece of chewed Wrigley's Spearmint Gum in the corner of the
lens to hold it in place. In a pinch, you can also use a well-chewed
piece of Wrigley's Spearmint Gum to reattach a pair of eyeglasses
broken at the nose bridge
Karen
covered a great distance, endured wilderness, and fought exhaustion
to find the wise hermit who was sitting on a ball chair. Why the ball
chair, she asked. It's for my back. You have 2 more questions. /
What's the difference between a run
down bus stop and a hermit crab with breast implants? One
is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean
...........If
you don't believe in believing........Paula
Abdul …..Blowing Kisses In The Wind
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A
poem should improve on the blank page. --Nicanor Parra --Submitted
by rl of ca
Poem
of the Week:
Long
ago there was a cat
Who
swallowed a ball of yarn;
And
when the cat had kittens
They
all had sweaters on --anon ~~FYI: Puck is on vacation this
week
Science
Fiction Junk of the Week:
Off World Designs –Tee Shirts & Mugs: Stained Glass
Dice...Grabthar's Hammer...and, of course, dragons.
https://www.offworlddesigns.com/fantasy-and-sci-fi-t-shirts/
Actual
Science Junk of the Week:
NASA Official Gear: Apparel (I Need My Space) ...novelties (NASA
luggage tags)...toys (Mars Playing Cards)
https://officialnasagear.com/
My
Hermit Crab is named Leonardo da Pinchi. / Addendum to the Annual
Hermit's Association Report: The secret of life has been unknowable
ever since we assigned it to a committee.
..........When
they heard those words about the trouble downtown..........Heart
(with Ann Wilson) ….City's Burning
^^^^^
In Sweden, Garfield is known as Gustav. There are
only three countries in the whole world where he’s not Garfield and
they’re all in the Nordics. The other two are Norway and Finland.
~~I tried but could not find names from Norse or Finnish nor could I
find images of strips from those countries.
Month
of the Week: June is Great Outdoors
Month --I
had a great time watching "The World's Largest Outdoor Family
Reunion" yesterday. I
guess most people just call it the Alabama vs Auburn game. / Why are
programmers no fans of the outdoors? ...too many bugs / I love going
outdoors...It's so much safer than going outwindows.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: This
weekend I am going to sling some candy out the door, toss a turkey in
the oven, open a few presents, and call it a year. --Submitted by
inhith
Well-Mannered
Curse of the Week: May your life be as
pleasant as you are.
Today's
Peace of History, June
19, 1865: Known among African Americans
as Juneteenth, this is the day slaves in Texas and Louisiana learned
they had been freed by President Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation
Proclamation.
My
Hermit Crab refused a land line, she prefers a shell phone. / I may
be a lousy friend, but I'm an awesome hermit.
..........Metaphysical
past the visual........Paula Abdul
…..Spellbound
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle, June 19, 2020, ePistle
Solitaire.
Peace, Pleasantries, and Privacy. Online at:
http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence,
KS 66047
Moonbeam:
If
I were asked for a one-sentence sound bite on religion, I would say I
was against it. --Salman
Rushdie
Cost
of War:
As
of 6/18/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,036,884,361,127.
As
of 6/11/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,034,793,683,930.
As
of 6/18/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $973,212,736,411.
As
of 6/11/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $971,791,889,758.
As
of 6/18/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $773,124,881,367.
As
of 611/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $771,338,467,620.
As
of 6/18/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $331,346,521,646.
As
of 6/11/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $330,940,585,093.
As
of 6/18/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,114,569,501.702.
As
of 6/11/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,108,865,481.322.
...And
upon this act, sincerely believed to be an act of justice, warranted
by the Constitution, upon military necessity, I invoke the
considerate judgment of mankind, and the gracious favor of Almighty
God. --Abraham Lincoln Emancipation Proclamation
Famous
Last Words: Be very kind to each other, bye out there. --Gary
Moore I've Got A Secret sign off
..........Now
I'm stronger, now I'm coming through..........Heart (with Ann Wilson)
…..Straight On
That
psychic Hermit Crab makes shell-fulfilling prophecies. / Hey, all
angry hermits are crabs.
May
Peace Be Your Companion
And
Joy Be Your Bestie
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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