Famous
First Words: Germans Block Signing of Treaty... Headline in
the Daily News #1, 6/26/1919
Happy
Drive Your Corvette to Work Day! / I do not
need therapy. I need a Corvette. / Did
you hear about the disaster at the birthing center? All the nurses
quit and bought Corvettes. It was a midwife crisis.
..........va
mi ritmo..........Carlos Santana ….. Oye Como Va
We
the Peoples of the United Nations determined to save succeeding
generations from the scourage of war, which twice in our lifetime has
brought untold sorrow to mankind...
There
is no introduction today. I had a doctor's appointment. He told me
to straighten up and eat right. I drank my coffee before I went. The
weather is beautiful but warm (80°F) and humid. Puck and I walked
briefly before I left and he is now asleep under my desk so that I
can't stretch my legs out all the way. I did enjoy the corvette
jokes – it's a fun ePistle.
Hope
your weekend wins the Order of Merit, ePistliers
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Not all math puns are terrible. Just sum. --Submitted by fnog
The
worst part about driving a corvette is trying to keep your gold chain
from getting stuck in your chest hair. / “Technically”, Corvette
owners rule the world.
..........Don't
turn your back on me, baby..........Carlos
Santana …..Black Magic Woman
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday, Madagascar !
^
Is Madagascar just a location of a Disney movie or a real country?
^^
Any idea where Madagascar places in the top ten list of biggest
islands?
^^^
Care to guess, what percentage of the world's chameleon species are
found on Madagascar?
^^^^
Know anything about Madagascar's indigenous population?
^^^^^
What percentage of Madagascar's roads are paved?
Big
Hello:
าช'kemi – Albanian (Tosk)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What
do a Tulsa Trump Rally and a Trump wife have in common? Nobody
comes. –Noel Casler --Submitted by rhb of ks
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
14%
of inter-librarian communication is done completely through sighing.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
A
man was very fond of his new Corvette. So, he invited a Rabbi, a
Priest, and a Pastor to come and bless it. The Priest sprinkled the
car with holy water and chanted in Latin, the Pastor invoked the name
of god and led everyone in silent prayer, and the Rabbi sang a hymn
and cut off the tip of the car’s tailpipe.
..........You
are the sunshine, baby, whenever you smile..........Carlos
Santana …..Stormy
Moonbeam:
You
cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make
yourself do right in spite of your feelings.
--Pearl S Buck
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: The sun setting at Stonehenge
on Summer Solstice
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Maybe
if those statues didn't want to be vandalized, they shouldn't have
been dressed so confederately. --Submitted by dr of oh
Week
of the Week: National Insect Week
(22-28) –Discrimination in the insect world. The Butterfly wasn't
allowed into the Moth Ball / The Flea Stooges – totally funny and
make dogs itch
Reaching
the end of a job interview, Human Resources asked the hotshot young
Engineer, fresh out of MIT, what starting salary was he looking for?
The engineer coolly said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a
year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said,
"Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14
paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement
fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say,
a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!
Are you kidding?" The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you
started it.".
..........Que
los ninos le quieren jugar..........Carlos
Santana …..Let The Children Play
^
Madagascar is an island nation in the Indian Ocean about 250 miles
east of mainland Africa.
Almanac:
It is Friday, June 26, 2020. The moon will be first quarter on
Sunday and is in Libra. The United Nations has proclaimed this
International Day against Drug Abuse & Illicit
Trafficking & International Day in Support of Victims of Torture
& International Albinism Awareness Day. It is also Drive Your
Corvette to Work Day, National Canoe Day, and Take Your Dog to Work
Day. In the Malagasy Republic (Madagascar) and British Somaliland it
is Independence Day (1960).
Among
those born on this day were Charles Messier (1730), Abner Doubleday
(1819), Jay Stowitts (1892), Pearl S. Buck (1892), Stuart Symington
(1901), Peter Lorre (1904), Tom Parker (1909), Pavel Belyayev (1925),
Pat Morita (1933), and Carlo Santanna (1947).
On
June twenty-sixth Richard III usurped the English throne (1483), the
first pure food law was enacted in the US (1848), the first section
of the Atlantic City Boardwalk opened (1870), England established the
Order of Merit (1902), Nieuport set an aircraft speed record at 83mph
(1911), the first issue of the NY Daily
News was
published (1919), the US ended an 8 years occupation of the Domincan
Republic (1924), the UN charter was signed by 50 nations (San
Francisco, 1945), Madagascar gained independence from France (1960),
JFK's gave his Ich bin ein Berliner
speech (1963), and Barbra Striesand recorded "Here We Are at
Last" (1984).
Night
Sky, 6/26:
Every
morning now, Venus is getting a little higher and easier to spot in
the east-northeast as dawn brightens.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Max disguised as Michael Phelps.
This
Week: Saturday, June 27 –
National Onion Day & Great American Backyard Camp-out
Sunday,
June 28 – International Body
Piercing Day & National Logistics Day
Night
Sky, 6/28 : First-quarter
Moon tonight. (The Moon is exactly first-quarter at 4:16 am Sunday
morning EDT.) On Saturday evening for North America, the Moon shines
in the hind feet of the Leo stick figure, about 8° under Leo's
2nd-magnitude tail-tip star, Denebola.
Monday,
June 29 – International Mud Day & Please Take My
Children To Work Day
Tuesday,
June 30 – Asteroid Day & Disabled Veterans Day & NOW
Day
Wednesday,
July 1 – Canada Day & Medicare's Birthday & Zip Code
Day
Night
Sky, 7/1:
Mars
rises
in the east around 1 am DST, shining bright orange at the
Aquarius-Pisces border. Watch for it to clear the horizon lower right
of the Great Square of Pegasus. By the first light of dawn, Mars
shines high and prominent in the southeast.
Thursday,
July 2 – I Forget Day & Made in the USA Day & World
UFO Day
Recently
Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's Corvette.
/ What do you
call a Corvette following a Camaro at high speeds? Chevy Chase.
..........Clap
your hands, make a smile..........Carlos
Santana …..Let It Shine
^^
La Grand Ile aka Madagascar ranks 4th on the world's
biggest islands list. It is 16,6600 km long and 570 km along its
widest points. There is 5,000 km of wide beaches and coral reefs.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Kids today get “Taco Tuesday”, in my day all we got was
“Sauerkraut Sunday” --Submitted by rhoz
Moonbeam:
To eat bread without hope is still slowly to starve to death.
--Pearl S Buck
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: John Bolton knew it
was wrong to stand idly by and accept the president repeatedly
obstructing justice. He knew that the right thing was to stand idly
by and wait on that book deal. --Stephen Colbert / The most likely
explanation for the low turnout is that as much as some people love
Trump, they also love not dying from coronavirus. --Trevor Noah / If
we stopped testing, that wouldn’t mean the cases went away. That
would just mean we don’t know about them. When you play peekaboo
with a baby, the baby can’t see you but that doesn’t mean you
actually disappeared. --Seth Meyers / Under America’s current
criminal justice system, you’re never just being sentenced to time.
You’re being sentenced to a lifetime of social stigma, futile job
interviews and roadblocks to necessities like housing. All of that is
immoral enough; there is frankly no reason whatsoever we should also
now be sentencing people to die from a virus. Because that’s not
justice – that’s neglect. --John Oliver
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week: People
looked at the news Monday morning and had this strange, alien
feeling. It was happiness. Gay people across the country raised
their arms in the air and shouted, finally - now I can waste my life
in a dead-end job like everybody else. / I'm going to get fired for
my bad personality, just like my straight brothers and sisters.
--Peter Sagal and Joel Kim Booster Wait,
Wait Don't Tell Me 6/19/20
We
the Peoples of the United Nations determined to reaffirm faith in
fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human
person, in the equal rights of men and women and of nations large and
small...
Best
math teacher ever! Mr. Johnson never makes us do any work, so all 25
of us are pitching in $6.17 to get him that cool new $50,000 Corvette
he wants. Thanks Mr. Johnson! / Corvette – the Mustang's worst
nightmare.
..........For
a new change to come around..........Carlos
Santana …..Everybody's Everything
^^^
There
are around 150 species of chameleons in the world, and more than half
of them can be found in Madagascar. An impressive 59 of them are
endemic to Madagascar (i.e. not found anywhere else).
Preantepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: White
folks call 911 like it's customer service. --Submitted by mw of ks
Worthless
Fact of the Week:
Goat’s
eyes have rectangular pupils, which allow them to watch over their
broad, flat grazing area for predators. Check
it out
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Requiring facemasks THREE months into a pandemic is like requiring
condoms at the baby shower. --Submitted by sb of ks
Weird
Word of the Week:
Agnotology – the study of culturally induced ignorance. Examples
include the health implications of tobacco and the safety of nuclear
power... http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-agn1.htm
Video
of the Week:
Stay
Home Oklahoma
with
Oklahoman Brad Pitt preformed by Founders
Sing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myxvf4VcBF8
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Improvise caulking compound. If you don't have any spackling or
plaster, use a piece of well-chewed Wrigley's Spearmint Gum to seal
holes in walls. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wrigleys2.html
Antepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'll
be honest, not seeing some of you for 3 months has been as absolute
delight. --Submitted by inrith
The
definition of bitter sweet is your worst enemy driving off a cliff in
your brand new Corvette. / The Corvette is a hybrid. It burns gas
and rubber.
...........We
heal the people with music..........Carlos
Santana …..Milagro
^^^^
Although
Madagascar is separated from mainland Africa by the narrow Mozambique
Channel, it is a world away. Its people, the Malagasies, are
descended from Indo-Malayan seafarers who’d arrived here on the
Indian Ocean trade route over 2,000 years ago.
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Orion's Belt is a big waist of space. ~~~Terrible joke. Only three
stars. --Submitted by fnog
Science
Fiction Convention that might have been of the Week:
FedCon 29 was originally scheduled for May 29th
in Bonn, Germany, it was postponed from May until June and now is
scheduled for October 9th.
Star Wars guests of honor were originally scheduled, who knows who
will actually s how up. https://www.fedcon.de/en/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
Apparently still scheduled: ICAA 2020: 14. International Conference
on Aeroengineering and Aerodynamics (Istanbul, Turkey, June 25-26).
--Aeroelastic
Analysis of Engine Nacelle Strake Considering Geometric Nonlinear
Behavior
https://waset.org/aeroengineering-and-aerodynamics-conference-in-june-2020-in-istanbul
Puck
the Brave Episode of the Week:
Here's Puck practicing yoga during the pandemic. ~~No it isn't
Downward Facing Dog. It's Upward Thrusting Butt.
There's
this snail. All his life, all he's ever wanted was a little red
corvette, convertible, with a big black "S" painted on the
hood. He saves and saves and finally buys his life-long dream. He
pulls out of the dealership and is driving down the street, proud as
can be. Two guys, waiting at a crosswalk, spot the snail in his new
car, and one says to the other, "hey man, look at that S car
go!!!"
..........Hey
everybody, let's lend a hand..........Carlos
Santana …..Peace On Earth
^^^^^
Traveling
in Madagascar takes time. This is not only because it is a huge
country, but also due to its underdeveloped and poorly maintained
infrastructure. According to the World Bank Indicators, only 11% of
the total roads (30,968 miles) are paved. Most of the roads we
traveled on were either extremely bumpy or potholed and muddy.
Month
of the Week: June is National Sponge
Month –My next door neighbor has a front door made of sponge. Lots
of people don't like it, but I can't knock it. / A man was washing
his car with his son. After a few minutes the son asked, “Why
can't you use a sponge?”
Well
Mannered Curse of the Week: May your
cookie always be slightly too large to fit inside your glass of milk.
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
I fold fitted sheets exactly how I'd fight off bio constrictors.
--Submitted by inrith
Today's
Peace of History, June 26, 1918: Pacifist and socialist
organizer Eugene V. Debs was arrested for having given an anti-war
speech in Canton, Ohio, ten days earlier. He was charged with
"uttering words intended to cause insubordination and disloyalty
within the American forces of the United States, to incite resistance
to the war, and to promote the cause of Germany," This last was
despite his repeated and vehement criticism in the speech of Germany
and its landed aristocracy, known as the Junkers.
Have
you seen the new Mustang? Not since second gear. / I don't always
downshift. But when I do, it's near a Prius so they can hear me
hurting the environment.
..........No
more us and them..........Carlos
Santana …..Brotherhood
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle June 26, 2020, Trailer Queen ePistle. Serenity,
Slapstick, and Speed. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence,
KS 66047 ~~A trailer
queen
is a restored Corvette that is never driven only shown.
Moonbeam:
I am mentally bifocal. --Pearl S Buck
Cost
of War:
As
of 6/25/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,038,724,931,912.
As
of 6/18/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,036,884,361,127.
As
of 6/25/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $974,463,609,751.
As
of 6/18/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $973,212,736,411.
As
of 6/25/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $774,697,206,494.
As
of 6/18/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $773,124,881,367.
As
of 6/25/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $331,703,928,773.
As
of 6/18/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $331,346,521,646.
As
of 6/25/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,119,590,433.362.
As
of 6/18/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,114,569,501.702.
We
the Peoples of the United Nations promote social progress and better
standards of life in larger freedom... UN Charter
Famous
Last Words: Ich bin ein berliner. --JFK Jr, June 26, 1963.
Rudolph Wilde Platz
..........You've
got me running and hiding all over town..........Carlos
Santana …..Evil Ways
I
am sorry. I can't hear you over the sound of freedom that my
Corvette makes. / Sometimes I wonder if my corvette is out
there, somewhere, thinking about me.
May
Peace rev your motor
And
Joy shift your gears
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
