Famous
First Words: Sì, corre voce che l’Etiope
ardisca : Yes, it is rumored that the
Ethiopian has dared... --Giuseppe Verdi Aida
It's
National Library Week and this is the Duly Dewey Classified ePistle..
In the Dewey System, 0-99s include general knowledge. I once fell in
love with an encyclopedia. I was completely in-fact-uated. / Who are
the highest paid generals? General Motors, General Electric, and
General Dynamics
..........Deep
within my heart lies a melody.........Bob Wills & The Texas
Playboys …..San Antonio Rose ~~Tomorrow is Bob Wills Day
“I
like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to
promote peace than are governments. Indeed, I think that people want
peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out
of their way and let them have it.” ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1959
It
is a stormy Friday morning. The sky is filled with rolling clouds of
blue and gray and patches of actual sky visible here and there. 58°F
is a very pleasant temperature especially with not enough wind to
move even the flighty willow branches. Everything is wet, dripping,
soggy from the early morning storm booming and cracking at the crack
of dawn. It cleansed the air and made every color shine and glow
with spring freshness and April beauty. A brown bird with a red beak
silently picks dry leaves from a small bush and disappears into the
foliage to work on its nest. There is no bird song in the air, no
motor sounds, just morning silence. Even Puck is quiet. But inside
there are all kinds of sounds, computer humming, coffee pot
straining, fingers across the keyboard. And I get to sit right here,
sip creamy Moose Munch, and write to you. What a day!
Hope
your weekend is classified under Fun, ePistliers.
Kansas-ism
of the Week:
I went outside to check on my plants. I felt something cold and wet
on my arm. I looked down and saw a mosquito using a wet wipe before
he bit me. --Submitted by inrith
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Your quarantine alcoholic
name is your first name followed by your last name. --Submitted by
ksz of ks
Four
Twenty Joke of the Week: The devil
whispered to me, “I'm coming for you”. I whispered back, “Bring
weed”. --Submitted by rb of ks
The
Dewey 100s are philosophy. The unexamined life combined with an MBA
is highly marketable. / The subject of every dissertation in
philosophy is How do you make a living with a philosophy
doctorate?
..........the
luckiest people in the world.........Barbra Streisand ….People
Trivia
Questions: Happy Birthday Library of Congress !!
^
Care to guess how many items are in the library?
^^
How about the number of buildings that house it?
^^^
About how many new titles per years come through the Copyright
Office?
^^^^
In 2019 how many items for the Visually Impaired were circulated?
^^^^^
Know how many people work for the Library?
Big
Hello:
Sawubona - Zulu
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Second
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
found a $20 bill in a parking lot and thought to myself, What
Would Jesus Do? So I turned it into
wine. --Submitted by pj of ks
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
34%
of librarians are embarrassed to admit that only today have they
finally reached their 2011 reading goal
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Religion
is the Dewey 200s. It is the test of a good religion whether you can
joke about it. --G K Chesterton / If God uses weather as an
instrument of wrath, what do you figure the people on Jupiter did?
..........and
the Navajo watched the lazy skies........Bob Wills and the Texas
Playboys …..Across the Alley from the Alamo
Moonbeam:
“Humility
is nothing but truth, and pride is nothing but lying.”
--St. Vincent De Paul
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: Jonquil
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Self
care isn't always chocolate and NetFlix. Sometimes, it's getting out
of bed and doing some difficult tasks like summoning a demon to help
with the dishes or finding the right number of chicken bones to
appease the thing that lives in the attic. --Submitted by vr of th
Week
of the Week: National Coin Week (19-25)
--He was so poor he used to throw pennies in the river to check his
cash flow. / The workers at the Denver Mint are overworked and are
striking to make less money.
Dewey
300 – Social Sciences. An anthropologist walks into a bar and
asks, “Why is this joke funny?” / A musicologist
says to her sociologist friend, “We’re not that different you and
I.” “How so?” the sociologist asks skeptically. “We both
study cymbalic interaction.”
..........Memories
light the corners of my mind.........Barbra Streisand …..The Way
We Were
^
In 2019 the Library of Congress recorded
a total of 170,118,152 items in the collections:
https://www.loc.gov/about/general-information/#year-at-a-glance
Almanac:
It is Friday, April 24, 2020. The moon was new on Wednesday and is
in Taurus. It is Armenian Genocide Remembrace Day,
National Hairball Awareness Day, National Teach Your Children to Save
Day, and World Meningitis Day. Because it is the last Friday in
April, it is also Arbor Day.
Among
those born on this day were St Vicente de Paul (1576), John Graunt
(1620), Giovanni Martini (1706), Robert Bailey Thomas (1766), Angela
Burdett-Coutts (1814), Anthony Trollope (1815), Jeltje de Bosch
Kemper (1836), Willem De Kooning (1904), Robert Penn Warren (1905),
Shirley MacLaine (1934), Jill Ireland (1936), Barbra Streisand
(1942), Richard Daley (1942), and Yvonne D Cagle (1959).
On
April twenty-fourth the Russia/Prussia peace treaty was signed
(1762), the Library of Congress was established with a $5,000
allocation (1800), the soda fountain was patented (1833), streetcar
ride-in protests began in Richmond, VA (1867), Aida
premiered (1871), the National Medical Associaton of Black Physicians
was organized (1884), the Irish Easter rebellion began (1916), and
the fathometer was patented (1928).
Night
Sky, 4/24: Right
after dark, the Sickle of Leo stands vertically upright high in the
south. Its bottom star is Regulus, Leo's brightest. Leo himself is
walking horizontally westward. The Sickle forms his front leg, chest,
mane, and part of his head.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Chef Max tasting the onions to make sure …
This
Week: Saturday, April 25 - DNA
Day & Eeyore's Birthday & Red Hat Society Day
Sunday,
April 26 – Alien Day & Pretzel Day & Lesbian
Visibility Day
Night
Sky, 4/26: Arcturus is the brightest star in
the east these evenings. Spica shines lower right of it by about
three fists at arm's length. To the right of Spica by half that
distance, look for the distinctive four-star constellation Corvus,
the springtime Crow.
Monday,
April 27 – Babe
Ruth Day & Morse Code Day & World Tapir
Day
Tuesday,
April 28 – Workers Memorial Day
Wednesday,
April 29 – World
Wish Day & Peace
Rose Day
Night
Sky, 4/29 : Mars,
Jupiter, and Saturn (magnitudes, +0.5, – 2.3, and +0.6,
respectively) are lined up in the southeast before and during early
dawn. Jupiter, the brightest, is on the right. Saturn glows pale
yellow 5° to Jupiter's left or lower left.
Thursday,
April 30 – Beltane & Buddha Day & Bugs Bunny Day
Dewey
400 – Language. Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit
and knowing you're shit. / Why did words, phrases and punctuation end
up in court? To be sentenced.
..........Cactus
lovelier than orchids.........Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys …..My
Adobe Hacienda
^^
The Library of Congress occupies three buildings on
Capitol Hill. The Thomas Jefferson Building (1897) is the original
separate Library of Congress building. (The Library began in 1800
inside the U.S. Capitol.) The John Adams Building was built in 1938
and the James Madison Memorial Building was completed in 1981. Other
facilities include the High Density Storage Facility (2002) at Fort
Meade, Md., and the Packard Campus for Audio Visual Conservation
(2007) in Culpeper, Va.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Every problem is an
opportunity to create an even bigger disaster. --Submitted by nm of
ks
Moonbeam:
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.
--Willem de Kooning
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: Well you know what
they say: it ain’t over until the fat lady screams crazy rightwing
talking points at a medical professional who’s trying to save their
family’s lives. --Jimmy Kimmel / We’re almost used to Trump
drumming up outrage for his political benefit, but what makes what
he’s doing now particularly vile is that on Thursday, he announced
guidelines for when states should open back up, and then spends the
rest of the weekend urging his followers to fight back against the
same guidelines that he released. --Trevor Noah / LIBERATE VIRGINIA,
and save your great 2nd Amendment. It is under siege. Ah yes, the
second amendment is so important right now, because if you run out of
Lysol, you can just shoot your groceries. --Stephen Colbert
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week:
Now,
nobody really knows why President Trump is obsessed about opening up
the country on May 1, except it's May Day. That's the thing you say
when you're going down in flames. Or maybe... The president did say
he had the, quote, "absolute power to open the country."
But the next day, after he was visited by three spirits in the night,
he admitted he couldn't really do that. He did create a committee to
reopen the economy with such brilliant public health experts as
Ivanka Trump, Mr. Ivanka Trump, Pennywise the clown, Voldemort, and
Wilbur Ross. --Peter Sagal Wait,
Wait Don't Tell Me
4/18/20
We
seek peace, knowing that peace is the climate of freedom.” ~ Dwight
D. Eisenhower
The
500s are Natural Sciences. A science teacher tells
his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was
discovered in 1773." A student responds, "Thank God I was
born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it." / The
equal sign (=) was humble because he knew he was neither > or <
than anyone.
..........Don't
tell me not to live.........Barbra Streisand …..Don't Rain on My
Parade
^^^
The
US Copyright Office added more than 547,000 registrations and
recorded 12,550 documents containing 457,731 titles.
Worthless
Fact of the Week: The Treaty of Saint
Petersburg aka the Russian/Prussia Pact ended the fighting in the
Seven Years' War between Prussia and Russia. The treaty followed the
accession of Emperor Peter III, who admired the Prussian king
Frederick the Great.
Preantepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
We're isolated and locked down for our own safety. So was Jeffrey
Epstein.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
An Oxymoron walked into a bar. The silence was deafening.
--Submitted by 50ng
Weird
Word of the Week:
Religitgation – a blend of religion and litigation. It is a
specifically British term that refers to legal actions that set the
faith-based view of religious groups against human-rights...
http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-rel1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Seal a punctured garden hose. Patch the holes with chewed Wrigley's
Spearmint Gum. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wrigleys.html
Antepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Now that I've lived during a plague, I get why most Renaissance
paintings are of chubby women laying around with their boobs out.
--Submitted by #RHOZ
Dewey
600s = Applied Sciences. Engineer: Solving problems you didn't know
you had in ways you don't understand. / It's called reading. It's
how people install new software into their brains.
...........You
can have your mansion or your cottage small.........Bob Wills and the
Texas Playboys …..Home in San Antone
^^^^
The Library circulated nearly 21.8 million copies of
braille, audio, and large-print items to blind and print disabled
patrons.
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You
might as well go ahead and pronounce the “L” in salmon. Nothing
matters anymore. --Submitted by rhb of ks
Irony
of the Week: Land O Lakes got rid of
the Native American on their butter but they kept the land. Some
things never change. --Subamitted by llr of ks
Science
Fiction Convention Joke of the Week: Did
you hear about the Trekkie who was trying to pick up girls at a Star
Wars convention? He was looking for love in Alderaan places
Actual
Science Convention Joke of the Week: An
engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel for
a convention. A fire breaks out in each of their trash cans at the
same time during the night. The engineer wakes up, dumps water onto
the fire until its out, then a little more to make sure it stays out,
and goes back to bed. The physicist wakes up, grabs his notepad,
calculates the amount of water he needs to put out the fire, puts it
out, and goes back to bed. The mathematician wakes up, grabs his
notepad, proves that water can put out fire and goes back to bed.
Puck
the Brave Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck quoting Puck from A Midsummer Night's
Dream on Talk Like Shakespeare Day So, good night unto you
all.
700s
= arts and recreation. I don't often talk to art majors, but when I
do I usually ask for fries. / The summer swimming team was made up of
4 girls named Jennifer. They named themselves Hydrogens.
..........I've
gotta get some life back into my life..........Barbra Streisand
…..Before the Parade Passes By
^^^^^
The library employed
3,210 permanent staff members in 2019.
Month
of the Week: April is Soy Foods Month –
Well, I decided against the tofu joke because it was tasteless.
Sheltering
Joke of the Week: You Can't Fix Stupid.
Turns out, you can't quarantine it either. --Submitted by tm of ar
Election
Joke of the Week: Binden: He Won't
Inject You With Bleach --Submitted by rk of ks
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: For
my birthday, I want alcohol. Either a fine, old, single malt Scotch
or hand sanitizer. - your choice.
Today's
Peace of History, April
24, 1987: On the
World Day for Laboratory Animals, nationally coordinated
demonstrations occurred in CA, AZ, FL, NY, MN, LA, MI, PA, NV, TN,
and other states. Hundreds of activists across the country blocked
access to university laboratories and more than 150 were arrested
nationwide.
Literature
– 800s. Little known fact, the Brontësaurus wrote romance novels.
/ Nancy caught a talking cockroach. The roach said the worst part of
being a roach was everyone screaming and throwing up when they say
you. The best thing was you no longer had to pretend to know what
Kafkaesque means.
..........Apart
from the laughter and the cheers.........Bob Wills and the Texas
Playboys …..Bubbles in My Beer
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle April 24, 2020, Classified ePistle. Peace and Laughs
in Dewey Order. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence,
KS 66047
Moonbeam:
They are best dressed, whose dress no one observes. --Anthony
Trollope
Cost
of War:
As
of 4/23/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,020,980,133,196.
As
of 4/16/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $3,018,997,829,544.
As
of 4/23/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $962,403,919,550.
As
of 4/16/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $961,056,855,924.
As
of 4/23/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $759,536,590,206.
As
of 4/16/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $757,842,992,507.
As
of 4/23/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $328,258,299,243.
As
of 4/16/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $327,873,436,066.
As
of 4/23/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,071,179,812,129.
As
of 4/16/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $5,065,772,124,603.
“Though
force can protect in emergency, only justice, fairness,
consideration, and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of
eternal peace.” ~
President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Famous
Last Words: Pace
t’imploro! Pace, pace, pace! : Peace,
I implore of you! Peace, peace, peace! --Giuseppe Verdi Aida
..........Here
now, next to me, and worlds away.........Barbra Streisand …..Goodbye
For Now
900s
are Geography. When the geography student's grades dropped below
C-level, he drown. / Actual Towns: Accident, Maryland / Whynot, North
Carolina / Coward, South Carolina / Worms, Nebraska
May
Peace define your classifications
And
Joy describe your content
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
