Friday, January 10, 2020

ePistle on the Slopes


Famous First Words: On the day I was born... Finian's Rainbow
January is Learn to Ski and Snowboard Month. How do snowboarders introduce themselves? So, sorry, dude. / I can't afford to go skiing because I spent all my money on ski equipment.
..........I'm very versitile.........(Baby) June Haver …..Let Me Entertain You
In order to promote international co-operation and to achieve international peace and security by the acceptance of obligations not to resort to war...
It is a rainy, thundery Friday morning; and a January-thunder miracle happened. For the last month I have been getting up between 5 and 5:30 am to take Jeff to work. He needs to be at KU at 6 and the buses do not begin running until 6. Then I would come home and go back to bed and sleep until 8:30 or 9. But Jeff found a co-worker who lives in the neighborhood and drives to work. So he is going to carpool and I am going to be able to sleep until I just wake up on my own. Today, the first day of this miracle, I got up at 5:10 to make sure it was all working right and it did. But I couldn't go right back to bed, because I had a doctor's appointment at 9 and I was afraid I'd sleep through it. And now it's 11 o'clock and I've been to the doctor – I'm okay – and to 2 grocery stores because it is suppose to snow here tomorrow and be bad streets and returned to the grocery to pick up a prescription which was ready when I was there half a hour ago, but I forgot it. Whew! I'm almost ready for a nap. At last, I get to sit down and write to you. Woot Woot
Hope your weekend shoots the half pipe, ePistliers.
First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I'd contact tech support.
When three snowboarders are riding in the back of a car, who's likely driving? The police. / Work is for people who don't ski.
..........I stole the starlight from the skies.........Sal Mineo …..Make Believe Baby
Trivia Questions: Here's to the National Woman's Party
^ Do you know the names of any of the founders of the NWP
^^ What was the background of the founders?
^^^ What about black women in the NWP?
^^^^ What was the policy of the NWP towards Woodrow Wilson?
^^^^^ Which movie starring Hillary Swank follows the NWP?
Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: They said “don't try this at home”, so I'm coming over to your house to try it.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 90% of librarians have an author they read as a palate cleanser in between more serious reading https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Usually snowboards and vacuum cleaners both attached to dirt bags. / Skiing (skē'ing) 1. n. the art of catching cold and going broke while rapidly heading nowhere at great personal risk.
..........If I could make days last forever.........Jim Croce …..Time In A Bottle
Moonbeam: Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom. --George Washington Carver
Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: Snowflake

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What if slugs are just snails that have gone through a divorce, and the partner got the house. --Submitted by ss of ks
Week of the Week: Elvis' Birthday Celebration Week (8-11) --At the time of his death Elvis was planning to open a chain of steak houses called Love Meat Tender. / "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." -Johnny Carson
Most snowboard jokes are one-liners so the skiers can understand them too. / A skiers last word ”Dude, watch this”.
..........You don't pull the mask off the old lone ranger.........Jim Croce …..You Don't Mess Around With Jim
^ Alice Paul and Lucy Burns formed the National Woman's Party which broke from the much larger National American Woman Suffrage Association. The AWSA focused on attempting to gain women's suffrage at the state level. The NWP prioritized the passage of a constitutional amendment ensuring women's suffrage throughout the United States.
Almanac: It is Friday, January 10, 2020. The moon will be first quarter on Tuesday and is in Cancer. It is National Cut Your Energy Costs Day, League of Nations Day, and Peculiar People Day.
Among those born on this day were Gasparo Visconti (1683), George Washington Carver (1864), Robinson Jeffers (1887), Ray Bolger (1904), Paul Henreid (1908), (Baby) June Haver (1926), Sal Mineo (1939), Jim Croce (1943), Rod Stewart (1945), Cyril Neville (1948), George Foreman (1949), Pat Benatar (1953), Shawn Colvin (1958), and Doug E Doug (1969).
On January tenth Cesar crossed the Rubicon (49 BCE), Common Sense was published (1776), the first London underground railway opened (1863), Standard Oil incorporated (1870), Gandhi was jailed for the first time (1908), first international air meet was held (1910), The National Women's Party began daily picketing of the white house (1917), the League of Nations first met (1920), Metropolis premiered (1927), the first meeting of the UN General Assembly was held (1946), Finian's Rainbow premiered (1947), the 45 RPM record was introduced (1949), Elvis recorded Heartbreak Hotel (1956), Delmore Schwarz won the Bollingen Prize (1960), and India and Pakistan signed peace accords (1966).
Night Sky, 1/10: A penumbral eclipse of the Moon occurs today, lasting from 17:07–21:12 UT. At maximum eclipse, 90% of the Moon's disc will be partially shaded by the Earth, which will cause a slight shadow gradient across its disc. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max and the new dog to be named later. Love the swirl of hair most of all. ~~The cousin to be named later (from last week's Abashed ePistle) has, in fact, been named; she's Kendall Brault.

This Week: Saturday, January 11 – Eagle Day & Learn Your Name In Morse Code Day
Sunday, January 12 – National Hot Tea Day & Kiss A Ginger Day
Night Sky 1/12, : Here it is the coldest very bottom of the year, but the Summer Star, Vega, is still hanging in there. Maybe. Look for it twinkling over the northwest horizon during and shortly after nightfall. The farther north you are the higher it will be. If you're north of latitude 51° (Calgary, central Ontario and Quebec, London, Berlin), Vega is actually circumpolar. But if you're too far south, it's already gone.
Monday, January 13 – Korean American Day & Public Radio Broadcasting Day & Rubber Ducky Day
Tuesday, January 14 – Dress Up Your Pet Day & International Kite Day & National Poetry At Work Day
Wednesday, January 15 – Humanitarian Day & National Bagel Day
Night Sky, 1/15: Venus dominates the southwest during and after twilight. Mars glows in the southeast before and during dawn. Jupiter is lost in the sunrise and Saturn is lost in the sunset. Uranus & Neptune stand high in the south and lower southwest right after dark.
Thursday, January 16 – Appreciate A Dragon Day & Bean Day & Nothing Day
All skiers really want fresh powder for Christmas. / The gangsta snowboarder called herself Froz-T.
..........All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand.........Rod Stewart ….Maggie May
^^ Alice Paul was closely linked to England's Women's Suffrage Political Union (WSPU), organized by Emmeline Pankhurst. While a college student in England, Paul became involved with the Pankhursts and their English suffrage campaign. During this time Alice Paul met Lucy Burns, who would go on and be a co-founder of the NWP.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros. There needs to be a balance...a homie-hoe-stasis, if you will. --50 Nerds of Grey
Moonbeam: Where there is no vision, there is no hope. --George Washington Carver
Late Night Snacks of the Week: Aside from the million or so people at his funeral yesterday, everyone else agrees that Suleimani was a bad guy responsible for death and destruction around the world. But as bad as Suleimani was, not everyone agrees that killing him like this was a good idea, the same way things only got worse when America got rid of Saddam Hussein, or when America got rid of Muammar Gaddafi, or when America got rid of gluten – because I don’t know what it actually is, all I know is once it was gone, everything tasted like shit. --Trevor Noah / It’s only our second show of 2020, and so far we’re not doing too well on our New Year’s resolution to not go to war with Iran. Americans have been waiting on pins and needles to see what Iran’s retaliation would be. It’s like our country sent an impulsive late-night text (‘We killed Suleimani. U up?’) and now we’re nervously staring at those three little dots. --Stephen Colbert / We might be at war, and this guy – you know what he’s busy with? He’s bragging he's number one on facebook. All he cares about is being number one. Our country is being run by the human equivalent of one of those giant foam fingers you see at college football games. --Jimmy Kimmel / Trump emerged from a brightly lit doorway; he looked like Mr. Burns with radiation poisoning. He gave a rambling speech that swung wildly from bluster to threats to offerings of peace to flat-out lies. He blamed Obama for the Iran. What's Trump gonna blame him for next? Is Obama the one who told you to breathe through your nose before every word like a scuba diver about to go underwater. --Seth Meyers
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Decade: They needed to do this experiment and they needed to give the mice a bad memory, which they did with electric shock - but they needed to also create a good memory for the mouse to conduct these experiments. And they gave each of the male mice what? I'll give you a hint, it's sort of like a mice-age a trois. They basically, in order to give these mice good memories that they could then experiment with, they gave the mice threesomes. It's like the scientists are sitting around, right, and they're thinking about what would give a mouse a good memory? And just, you know, as one of the scientists was about to say, well, we could go with cheese, another scientist shouts out threesome. --Peter Segal Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me 11/29/14
In order to promote international co-operation and to achieve international peace and security by the prescription of open, just and honourable relations between nations...
I find ski clothing very becoming, especially the mask. / Learning how to snowboard is just a half pipe battle. / As I understand it, in Dubai you can ski in the morning, have lunch at the beach, and sleep the night in the desert.
..........Or is she having a real good time.........Neville Brothers …..Yellow Moon
^^^ One of the criticisms of this first national suffrage parade was the barring of colored women from participating side by side with white women. Even though Paul never opposed black women getting the right to vote, she barred them from marching with the white women and forced them to be in the back of the parade with the men to appease southern women.
Worthless Fact of the Week, January 10, 1971: The Peoples' Peace Treaty between the citizens of the US and Vietnam was endorsed by 130 organizations. Several million North Americans later signed it. The treaty had been signed in December by leaders from the South Vietnam National Student Union, South Vietnam Liberation Student Union, North Vietnam Student Union, and the (U.S.) National Student Association in Saigon, Hanoi and Paris. It was adopted this day by the New University Conference and Chicago Movement meeting.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the furniture in the house is in place. --Submitted by cj of ks
Weird Word of the Week: Peezing (v.) Sneezing and peeing at the same time.
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Play “basket tennis” Remove the bottom from an empty coffee can and nail the can above the garage door. Use a Wilson Tennis Ball to play basketball. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wilson.html
It takes 10 snowboarders to screw in a light bulb. One to do the work and nine to say, “I could do that”. / Know the difference between a snowboard instructor and her student? Three days
...........It's been a long time coming.........Neville Brothers ….A Change Is Gonna Come
^^^^ While non-partisan, the NWP directed most of its attention to President Wilson and the Democrats, criticizing them as responsible for the failure to pass a constitutional amendment. As a result, in 1918, Paul ran a campaign that boycotted Democrats because of their refusal to support women's suffrage.
Antipenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: You used so much thyme, Dr. Who arrived in the TARDIS to save us all.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If Trump wants to destroy Iran he should just become their president. --Submitted by ksz of ks
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Ohayyocon 2020 (Columbus, OH, 10-12) Celebrate in Style !! https://ohayocon.org/news/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: ICAA Astrophysics and Astroparticles Conference (Singapore, 9-10) With its high quality, it provides an exceptional value for students, academics and industry researchers. https://waset.org/astrophysics-and-astroparticles-conference-in-january-2020-in-singapore
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck disguised as a sleeping angel to eavesdrop in the case of the Unconcerned Utonagan.

When it became apparent that the plane wouldn't make it over the mountains, the steward passed out skis to the passengers. / Snowboard: One ski for the price of two.
..........Well you're a real tough cookie with a long history.........Pat Benatar …..Hit Me With Your Best Shot
^^^^^ Iron Jawed Angels focuses on the American women's suffrage movement during the 1910s and follows women's suffrage leaders Alice Paul and Lucy Burns as they use peaceful and effective nonviolent strategies, tactics, and dialogues to revolutionize the American feminist movement to grant women the right to vote.
Month of the Week: January is Black Diamond Month. --The black diamond frowned at the pile of on the lunch table. Diamonds are forever, she said. So is plastic, replied a spork.
Dark Humor of the Week: Jim Jones had a 100% approval rating among his followers...right up until that business with the Kool Aid. --Don Winslow
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: We just need a mom to be like, “A new war? You got new war money? You never even finished the last two. We have plenty of war at home. --Alex Giampapa --Submitted by ae of mo
Today's Peace of History, January 10, 1946: The first General Assembly of the United Nations convened at Westminster Central Hall in London, England, and included 51 nations. On January 24, the General Assembly adopted its first resolution, a measure calling for the peaceful uses of atomic energy and the elimination of atomic and other weapons of mass destruction.
Grandma used to ski and she used a snowboard to balance her her walker on. / That snowboarding run was so poorly constructed they called it the half assed pipe.
..........Remember me and all this time.........Shawn Colvin …..Round Of Blues
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle Jaunary 10, 2020, ePistle on the Slopes. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Laughs and Peace on a Burton Deep Thinker. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: The heads of strong old age are beautiful beyond all grace of youth. --Robinson Jeffers
Cost of War:
As of 1/9/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,991,451,731,216.
As of 1/2/20 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,989,396,749,197.
As of 1/9/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $942,336,190,678.
As of 1/2/20 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $940,939,607,351.
As of 1/9/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $734,308,429,194.
As of 1/2/20 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $732,552,726,187.
As of 1/9/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $322,524,661,519.
As of 1/2/20 Veterans Care since 2001: $322,125,636,836.
As of 1/9/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,990,622,134,218.
As of 1/2/20 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,985,015,515,542.
In order to promote international co-operation and to achieve international peace and security by the firm establishment of the understandings of international law as the actual rule of conduct among Governments --From the Covenant of the League of Nations
Famous Last Words: I get so lonely, I could die. Heartbreak Hotel
..........You baby you want to go for a ride.........Doug E Doug …..Crazy 'Bout Cars
Steve the Snowboarder used to ride to work by icicle. / DANGER Watch Out for warning signs placed in the the middle of the slope.
May Peace guide your steps
And Joy hold your hand
prairie mama
christine


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