Famous
First Words: Elsie, this is June Cleaver... Leave It To
Beaver Episode 1, “Beaver Gets Spelled”
October
is World Menopause Month. The news is saying there are menopause
predictors now. For me it was just a matter of counting the bodies
in my trail. --Dee Adams
..........pieces
of pieces lay in a pile..........Beck …..Leave Me On The Moon
~~Beck opened Farm Aid '97
Pure
love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything
in return. --Peace Pilgrim
It
is a chilly Friday morning. For the first time this season I wear a
sweater. In the sky the clouds are attempting to hide the rising
sun, but it breaks through here and there making patterns and shadows
and beauty across the entire land. Puck barks at everything that
moves including children on their way to school and weeds in the park
at the end of the cul-de-sac. Even the local murder of crows is
quieter than he. Jeff walks with us in the pleasant cool air. The
world is still very green with flowers in yellows and oranges. It
smells of fall, of pollen and ripening fruit. There is little breeze
to move the tree limbs; even the willow is nearly still. We make the
circle and return to our house smelling of brewing coffee (which I
cannot drink until after I've been to the doctor who'll draw blood
for my lab tests)...
Home
from the doctor now; the clouds have completed their task of hiding
the sun so the sky is a dull gray. But, I have a fresh cup of
steaming coffee all creamed up and I have all morning to sit and
write to you. Not bad, eh?
Hope
your weekend makes you smile, ePistliers.
Doctor:
It's menopause. You'll need strong medicine to relieve your symptoms.
I'm prescribing chocolate. / With age comes wisdom. Hum,
apparently, “wisdom” weights about 40 pounds. - J Wagner
..........I'm
no crazy creep, I've got it coming..........Dave Matthews Band
…..Too Much ~~The Dave Matthews Band was 4th on the
program at Farm Aid '97
Trivia
Questions: Happy National Golf Day
^
Care to guess how many golf courses there are worldwide?
^^
How many of them does Trump own?
^^^
What does a golf ball weight?
^^^^
Know what year the PGA added a Caucasian-only clause?
^^^^^
What's the maximum number of clubs you are allowed to carry in your
bag?
Funniest
Thing I Read of the Week: I recently
bought a toilet brush...long story short, I'm going back to toilet
paper.
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
25% of arguments between librarians are settled by a game of
Scrabble. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Horror
Joke of the October: Did you know the movie Soylent
Green, created in 1973, was set in the future year 2020? Enter
the Impossible Burger.
Funniest
Things I Read of the Week … the sequel:
A Pennsylvania man is suing Smart Water for not making him smart, and
I'd like to formally announce my lawsuit against Thin Mints.
Menopause
has its advantages. Too bad I don't remember what they are. --J
Wagner / Menopause: Because nature decided that periods, pregnancy,
labor, delivery, breastfeeding, stretch marks, saggy boobs, and
cellulite wasn't enough punishment.
..........I
ain't no senator's son, son..........John Fogerty …..Fortunate Son
~~John Fogerty played after Dean Miller
Moonbeam:
“The
real difficulty is with the vast wealth and power in the hands of the
few and the unscrupulous who represent or control capital. Hundreds
of laws of Congress and the state legislatures are in the interest of
these men and against the interests of workingmen. These need to be
exposed and repealed. All laws on corporations, on taxation, on
trusts, wills, descent, and the like, need examination and extensive
change. This is a government of the people, by the people, and for
the people no longer. It is a government of corporations, by
corporations, and for corporations.”
--Rutherford B Hayes
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: Schooling Fish
Big
Hello: Miiyiha' –
Tongva aka Gabrielino (California)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: A guy
broke into my apartment last week. He didn't take the TV, just the
remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels. --Submitted by
rmar of ks
Week
of the Week: World Space Week (4-10) –A
light year is the same as a regular year but with fewer calories. /
Astronaut Susan unknowingly had a tick when she landed on the moon –
It grew into a luna-tick.
Third
Cousin of Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
“Dark
Matter”
which holds reality together finally identified as coffee.
--Submitted by dr of oh
I
want to be reincarnated as something that doesn't go through
menopause. --J Wagner / The menopause fairy ate my brain.
..........My
job is so small town provides little opportunity..........John
Mellencamp …..Small Town ~~John Mellencamp played right after
John Fogerty
^
There are 34,011 golf courses in the world, 45% are in the US
(15,305)
Almanac:
It is Friday, October 4, 2019. The moon will be first quarter
tomorrow and is in Sagittarius. It is National Golf
Day, Blessing of the Animals Day aka World Pet Day, Improve your
Office Day, Kanelbullens Dag (Cinnamon Roll Day), National Diversity
Day, Ten-Four Day, Vodka Day, World Animal Day, and World Smile Day.
In Lesotho it is Independence Day (1966).
Among
those born on this day were Louis the Stubborn
(1289), Richard Cromwell (1626), Rutherford B. Hayes (1822), Damon
Runyon (1880), Buster Keaton (1895), Jan Murray (1917), Malcolm
Baldrige (1922), Charlton Heston (1923), Dick Tracy (1931), Anne Rice
(1941), Buddy Roemer (1943), Susan Saradon (1946), and Armand Assante
(1949).
On
October fourth Mexico became a republic (1824), the Orient Express
made its first run (1883), the comic strip Dick
Tracy was first printed (1931), the
American Contract Bridge League voted for segregation (1949), Leave
it to Beaver debuted
(1957), Sputnik was launched (1957), Gambia achieved self government
(1963), Lesotho (Basutoland) gained independence (1966), and Farm Aid
'97 raised over $1 million for US farmers (1997).
Night
Sky, 10/4: Now the
waxing Moon shines between Jupiter and Saturn.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Max about to meet Dr Who
This
Week: Saturday,
October 5 –
Woofstock & World Teachers Day & International
Day of No Prostitution
Night
Sky, 10/5: First-quarter Moon (exact at 12:47
p.m. Eastern Daylight Time). This evening the Moon shines with
Saturn, which is only about 2° to its right or upper right at dusk
for North America. But Saturn is 3,800 times farther away. A
telescope this evening will show its own largest satellite, Titan, as
a magnitude-8.7 orange pinpoint four ring-lengths to Saturn's east.
Yet Titan is half again as large in diameter as our Moon.
Sunday,
October 6 – American Libraries Day & Mad Hatter Day &
National Noodle Day
Monday,
October 7 – World of Bullying Prevention & National
Forgiveness Day & World Habitat Day
Night
Sky, 10/7: The moon and Pluto pass within 0°08' of each
other.
Tuesday,
October 8 – World Octopus Day & National Salmon Day
Wednesday,
October 9 – International Beer and Pizza Day & Leif
Erikson Day & National Chess Day
Thursday,
October 10 – World Homeless Day & World Sight Day &
Squid and Cuttlefish Day
When
a menopausal woman says WHAT? It's not because she didn't hear you.
She's giving you a chance to change what you said. --J Wagner /
First I had this great hair-do. Then I had a hot flash.
..........Old
Man Moon across the swampy river rise.........Leon Russell …..Down
On Deep River ~~Russell played right after Mellencamp. His set list
is not known.
^^
Trump owns 16 golf courses – 12 in the US, 3 in Europe, and 1 in
the middle east.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm starting to think this
entire administration was homeschooled by Betsy Devos. --Submitted
by ma of va
Moonbeam:
Strong women are absolutely unpredictable. --Anne Rice
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: Look, I know it’s
easy to dismiss the call to Ukraine as just another Drumpf scandal,
yet no matter how burnt out we feel, we should be as disgusted by
Drumpf trying to pressure foreign powers to investigate his rivals as
we are disgusted that Stephen Miller has a girlfriend. --Samatha Bee
/ Dumpf immediately says: I would like you to do us a favor,
though...the phrase that pays the Ukrainian in exchange for political
favors. Tell the president what he's won. It's protracted
impeachement inquiries! A permanent stain on his already shameful
legacy, and a lovely Broyhill dinette set. --Stephen Colbert /
another episode on the Real White House Wives of Orange: The alleged
cover-up is ironic, indeed. A conspiracy to hide evidence on a
private server. You can hear Hillary screaming all the way from the
woods of Chappaqua. He basically screwed himself. This is the
closest Donald Drumpf has ever come to having sex with someone his
own age. --Jimmy Kimmel / The whistleblower’s complaint has
accused the president of soliciting foreign interference in America’s
election. It’s definitely bad news for Drumpf, but even worse? The
entire complaint is only nine pages long, which means that people
might actually read it. Hell, if it had a few pictures, Drumpf
himself might actually read it. --Trevor Noah / Over the weekend,
the Wall Street Journal added
that Drumpf had pressured the Ukrainian president to look into
Biden’s son at least eight times on one phone call. Eight times
makes it seem like a pretty obvious crime. It’s like if you went on
trial for stabbing a guy and said it was an accident – ‘He fell
on the knife’ – and they said: eight times? ‘Yeah, he was
wearing roller skates.’ --Seth Meyers
Son
of 'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
I'd like Elon Musk to release a police call box into Earth orbit.
Make it happen, Elon. --Submitted by kp of mo
Not
So Late Night Snacks of the Week: We
have a great show for you today. Joining us later will be Charlie
Day, star and one of the creators of the long-running sitcom "It's
Always Sunny In Philadelphia." Now, that is a show that,
thankfully, has nothing to do with current events. It's just about a
group of awful people with no conscience or morals... Who
keep doing terrible things and always get away with it. Nothing to do
with the news at all.
--Peter Sagal Wait,
Wait, Don't Tell Me 9/27/19
Preantepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
If you like subpoena coladas / and getting caught in Ukraine
--Dave Brown --Submitted by ksz of ks
Keep
your feet on the ground and your thoughts at lofty heights. --Peace
Pilgrim
You
may be menopausal if: 1. You're easily distracted. 2. You keep losing
your train of thought. 3. Bread and milk / When a chicken runs out
of eggs, they call it henopause. --Reynolds
............Draw
the curtains, disconnect the phone........Mary Cutrufello …..Johnson
Motel ~~Mary is the only woman listed on the program at Farm Aid '97
^^^
A golf ball must have a mass of no more that 1.620 ounces and a
diameter not less than 1.680 inches. It's in the rules.
Antepenultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Bernie attributes his heart surgery recovery to thousands of small
blood donations. --Submitted by ae of mo
Worthless
Facts of the Week: The motto of World Smile Day is: Do an act
of kindness. Help one person smile. The first email smiley face was
sent at 11:44 am on September 19, 1982.
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I
think I still have some unfinished procrastinating to do from
yesterday.
Weird
Word of the Week:
Knucker – water demon. Knucker Holes … not the least of the odd
things about them was that they were reputed never to freeze in
winter nor to dry up in summer.
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-knu1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Remove price tags from appliances of the price-tag sheet from an
automobile. Apply Wesson Vegetable Oil. Let sit and scrape away.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html
Menopause:
That time of life that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the
Devil says, “O, crap. She's up!” / Menopause Olympics: Freestyle
Mood Swing Marathon.- Cheney
..........with
your fields of green..........Neil Young …..Mother Earth ~~Young
was 10th on the program
^^^^
As
with many other American sports, professional golf was segregated for
much of the 20th century. The Professional Golfers' Association of
America even went so far as to write a "Caucasian-only"
clause into its bylaws in 1934. It wasn't
removed until 1961.
Capitalist
Meme of the Week: Warning: You may be a Democratic Socialist
if you like: *Fire Departments *Public Schools *Highways *Social
Security
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Okay
so Tara and I have been trying to come up with a proper name for this
scandal (___gate, etc) and I think she finally succeeded: Ukraine
Clown Posse.
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
San Diego Who Con (4-6) Whodunnit? Who Done IT? WHO done it?
http://www.sdwhocon.com/
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
Dermatology for Primary Care (4-6, Asheville, NC) ...recognize
the various causes of common lesions; identify the characteristics of
commonly seen skin disorders and develop an appropriate differential
that leads to the most probable
diagnosis...https://www.mceconferences.com/conference-detail.php?conf_id=Primary-Care-Asheville-2019-10-4-6
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck waiting for Late Night at the Phog (Snoop
Dog is coming) in the case of the Dribbling Dane.
I
used to have a handle on life. It broke off when I hit menopause. /
Menopause Weather Report: Lots of highs and lows today, with a good
chance of fog the entire day. All in all, a good day to curl up with
a fan, your favorite book, and some zoloft.
...........Everybody
walks around with a shadow cross their minds.........Steve Earle
…..The Other Side Of Town ~~Steve Earle & The V-Roys preformed
between Neil Young and The Allman Brothers Band
^^^^^
According to the USGA, a golfer is allowed to have 14 clubs in a bag.
This may include 3 woods (driver, 3-wood, & 5-wood), 8 irons
(3-9 irons & pitching wedge), and a putter. Standard is 12
clubs.
Month
of the Week: October is Country Music
Month --It was a
terrible day. Two music lovers were being held hostage and both were
going to be shot. One of them was a country music lover and the other
enjoyed all types of music. Before they were shot they were asked if
they had one last request. The country music lover said, "I
would like to listen to 'Achy Breaky Heart' 50 times in a row."
The other music lover said, "Please, shoot me first."
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Impeachment: It's not just for blow jobs anymore.
Grammar
Joke of the Week: A guy liked to go in to
Boston on Friday nights for fresh scrod and one night his favorite
fish restaurant was closed so he hailed a cab. He asked the
cabdriver: “Do you know any place where I can get scrod?” The
cabbie said: “A lot of guys have asked me that in all kinds of
ways, but this is the first time anyone has ever used the pluperfect
subjunctive!”
Today's
Peace of History, October
4, 1976: Earl Butz resigned as
President Gerald Ford’s agriculture secretary with an apology for
what he called the "gross indiscretion" of telling a racist
joke.
Meno
Pausal Chips: Each serving contains 17 grams of Who Cares, 22 grams
of Mind Your Own Business, and 54 grams of Shut UP and Let Me Enjoy
Me Food. - Randy Glasbergen / Perhaps they are right. It's not
global warming, it's earth in menopause.
..........But
I'm not going to let them catch me..........The Allman Brothers Band
…..Midnight Rider ~~The Allman Brothers played next to last at
Farm Aid '97
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle October 4, 2019, ePistle Estro. Laughs, peace, and no
periods. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/
Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS
66047
Moonbeam:
I long ago came to the conclusion that all life is 6 to 5 against.
--Damon Runyon
Cost
of War:
As
of 10/3/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,963,690,530,721.
As
of 9/26/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,961,705,328,295.
As
of 10/3/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $923,469,365,826.
As
of 9/26/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $922,120,049,357.
As
of 10/3/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $710,590,133,396.
As
of 9/26/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $708,893,692,591.
As
of 10/3/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $317,134,139,594.
As
of 9/26/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $316,748,544,167.
As
of 10/3/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,914,884,921,248.
As
of 9/26/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,909,468,252,394.
The
way of peace is the way of love. Love is the greatest power on
earth. It conquers all things. --Peace Pilgrim
..........Seeing
worlds so far apart come together in our heart.........Willie Nelson
…..It's A Dream Come True ~~Willie closed the show
I
don't worry about getting older. After all, menopause is the new
puberty. --Dee Adams
Famous
Last Words: 10-7, good buddies
May
Peace monopolize your days
And
Joy occupy your nights
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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