Famous
First Words: Once more into the breach, dear friends, once
more... William Shakespeare St Crispin's Day Speech Henry V
Welcome
to Sourest Day – Smiles be banished! Replace them with pouts and
terrible frowns! --On my summer vacation I took a jar of French Onion
Sour Cream into the Pacific with me. That was my dip in the ocean. /
That new Jurassic Park restaurant serves triceratops with a garlic
lemon sauce. The dish is called Dinosour.
..........And
I know to much to go back and pretend.........Helen Reddy …..I Am
Woman
I
have something that I call my Golden Rule. It goes something like
this: Do unto others twenty-five percent better than you expect them
to do unto you. The twenty-five percent is for error. --Linus
Pauling
It
is a gloomy Friday morning. The sky is laden with clouds some gray,
some white all textured and dimpled but none allowing the rising sun
to break through. 41°F temperature is nippy but there is no
significant breeze to enhance its power. Puck barks at a squirrel who
is crossing the street on the overhead power line and then at some
unseen movement in the bushes near by. Our local murder of crows fly
over complaining loudly and breaking the near silence. A driverless
car sits running, warming up, in a driveway; and the for rent
sign has disappeared from another. Cottonwoods in the park at the end
of the cul-de-sac have turned yellow and one small tree in a nearby
yard is sporting orange and red leaves on top but most foliage is
still green and summery looking. The neighborhood is alive and always
changing. We return home – warm and cozy, smelling of coffee.
Puck slurps up some milk that I put in his saucer and curls up on his
jayhawk blanket for a snooze. I doctor my decaf - sweet and tart
(not sour) – and sit down to write to you. What a morning!
Hope
your weekend is a sweet as honey, ePistliers
I
just ordered Hong Kong style sweet and sour chicken from Happy Luck
Gardens. It was delivered by 4 NFL linebackers who fired tear gas
through my front door. / I fell in love with a cucumber farmer. We
had many good years together but then, as theses things do, it turned
sour. Long story short, I'm in a bit of a pickle.
..........What
harm can a little flirtin' do.........Minnie Pearl …..How To
Catch A Man
Trivia
Questions: Welcome to the UN, Uganda
^
Any idea about what size Uganda is?
^^
How many of Uganda's 5 neighbors can you name?
^^^
What's the capital of Uganda?
^^^^
Know what currency Uganda uses?
^^^^^
How about Uganda's exports?
First
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
Did you know if your parachute doesn't deploy, you have the rest of
your life to fix it. --50
Nerds of Grey
Horror
Joke of the October (a):
That movie, High
Spirits,
not accurate at all. Everybody knows that ghosts only haunt living
rooms.
Second
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week2:
Well, to be Frank....I'd have to change my name. 50NOG
Fake
Library Statistic of the Week:
How libraries destroy old hard drives: 25% screwdrivers, 35% soak in
cup of tea, 40% leave in the kids room for one hour.
https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Rabbi
Sholem had a sour stomach, but then he was an Acidic Jew. / If Marty
McFly had bipolar disorder would that make him sweet n' sour chicken?
..........Could
it be a faded rose from days gone by.........Helen Reddy …..Delta
Dawn
Moonbeam:
Half the confusion in the world comes from not knowing how little we
need. --Richard E Byrd
Naturally
Occurring Mandala of the Week: The human nipple
October
is national breast cancer awareness month
Big
Hello: Dumela –
Tswana (Botswana)
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
Next
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Raise
your hand if you try to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so
bystanders don't hear you fighting for your life.
Horror
Joke of the October (b):
It was Halloween and the ghosts and zombies had gathered for their
annual spooketi dinner but the skeletons wouldn't come because they
didn't have the guts.
Week
of the Week: International Magic Week
(25-31) –I had a magical owl named WHOODINI. He used to buy
illusions for a buck at the local magic shop. They were cheap
tricks.
I
was going to rank fruits by how sour they are; but I found them all
sublime.
..........I
need a papa to turn the damper down.........Minnie Pearl …..Jealous
Hearted Me
^
Uganda is 93,065 sq mi and has a population of 42.86 million. That's
between the size of Michigan and Minnesota
Almanac:
It is Friday, October 25, 2019. The moon will be new on Monday and
is in Libra. It is National Mole Day, Chucky, The Notorious Killer
Doll Day, International Artists Day, International Bandanna Day,
National Breadsticks Day, National Pharmacy Buyer Day, Sourest Day,
and World Past Day.
Among
those born on this day were Johann Strauss (1825), Georges Bizet
(1838), John Heisman (1869), Pablo Picasso (1881), Richard Byrd
(1888), Minnie Pearl (1912), Billy Barty (1924), Marion Ross (1928),
Anthony Franciosa (1928), Bob Knight (1940), Helen Reddy (1941), and
Julia Roberts (1967).
On
October twenty-fifth Battle of Agincourt was fought (1415), Cassini
discovered Iapetus, a moon of Saturn (1671), George III ascended the
throne (1760), Little Orphan Annie first appeared (1924),
Peace talks began in Punmunjom (1951), Uganda was admitted to the UN
(110th member, 1962), Steinbeck received the Nobel Prize (1962), and
the International Red Cross was ousted from South Africa (1986).
Night
Sky, 10/25: The
Ghost of Summer Suns. Halloween is approaching, and this means that
Arcturus, the star sparkling low in the west-northwest in twilight,
is taking on its role as "the Ghost of Summer Suns." For
several days centered on October 25th every year, Arcturus occupies a
special place above your local landscape. It closely marks the spot
where the Sun stood at the same time, by the clock, during hot June
and July — in broad daylight, of course! So, as Halloween
approaches every year, you can see Arcturus as the chilly remaining
ghost of the departed summer Sun.
http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max
Picture of the Week:
Max meets Captain Hook
This
Week: Saturday, October 26 –
Make a Difference Day & Mule Day & Howl at the Moon Night
Sunday,
October 27 – Black Cat Day & Diwali & Mother-In-Law
Day
Night
Sky, 10/27: Look for Capella sparkling low in the northeast
these evenings. Look for the Pleiades cluster, fingertip-size, about
three fists at arm's length to Capella's right. These harbingers of
the cold months rise higher as evening grows late. Upper right of
Capella, and upper left of the Pleiades, the stars of Perseus lie
astride the Milky Way.
Monday,
October 28 – Champagne Day & World Stroke Day
Tuesday,
October 29 – National Cat Day & National Hermit Day
Night
Sky, 10/29: Mercury and Venus are very low in bright twilight
after sunset. Start by trying for Venus, magnitude –3.8. It's just
above the west-southwest horizon a mere 20 minutes after sunset.
Binoculars will help. To its left is Mercury, much dimmer at
magnitude –0.1 all week.
Wednesday,
October 30 – Checklist Day & Mischief Night aka Devil's
Night & Haunted Refrigerator Night
Thursday,
October 31 – Magic Day & National UNICEF Day & All
Hallows Eve
Those
Buddhist monks have those sour faces because they're acetic. / The
waitress asked if I wanted sour cream, bacon, and chives on my
potato? What a loaded question.
..........and
wings as dark as night.........Helen Reddy …..I Saw A Dragon
^^
Uganda is bordered by Kenya to the east, South Sudan to the north,
the Democratic Republic of the Congo to the west, Rwanda to the
south-west and Tanzania to the south.
'Nother
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If I got a dollar every
time someone told me to name my future kid “Batmo” I'd almost
have enough to pay for therapy for a kid named Batmo. --Jessica
Biel.
Horror
Joke of the October (c):
The worst thing about
Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy
corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been
advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever
made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every
year there's a ton of it left over. And the candy corn company sends
the guys to the villages and they collect out of the dumpsters all
the candy corn we've thrown away. They wash it!! They wash it!
--Lewis Black
Moonbeam:
Most people have the will to win, few have the will to prepare to
win. --Bobby Knight
Still
Another Funniest Thing I Read of the Week:
If I was Snow White you'd never be able to kill me with an
apple...you'd have to poison an eclair or something...
Late
Night Snacks of the Week: If you were keeping
up with the news today, you know that it was more chaotic than free
cocaine day at Dave and Buster’s. --Trevor Noah / Is it even
really a meltdown any more? Trump didn’t have a meltdown – he had
a Wednesday. --Jimmy Kimmel / If you’re friends with a government
ethics expert and you’re wondering why their head randomly exploded
into little pieces
today; it’s probably because they saw that Donald Trump announced
that his Florida golf resort will host next year’s G7 summit. The
arrangement violates ethics rules on profiting off foreign
governments but there’s nothing Trump won’t do to profit off the
presidency. I bet you he’s going to be outside his own impeachment
trial just scalping tickets. --Trevor Noah / Why are there 12
candidates in the debate now, since the last debate had 10. You can’t
subtract candidates and then add some back in … You don’t go to
the Final Four and suddenly you’re back to the Elite Eight. Sen
Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota, for example, is eight laps behind and
stopped to get lunch and she’s still in the race. It doesn’t make
sense. --Jimmy Kimmel ~~Everyone else was on vacation
Not
So Classic Not So Late Night Snacks: So
sometime this last summer, the president made a, quote, "promise"
to a foreign leader, and somebody in the intelligence community was
so upset they filed a whistleblower report. By law, that report is
supposed to be handed to Congress, but the White House said, nuh-uh
(ph). So we don't know yet what the president actually said or to
whom he said it. But whatever it is, it must be worse than the stuff
we already know about. And that can only mean he has sold the Earth
to the aliens. --Peter Sagal Wait,
Wait, Don't Tell Me
9/21/19
Life
is a relationship among molecules and not a property of any molecule.
--Linus Pauling
I
went to a Chinese/German fusion buffet today for lunch. I had the
Szechuan Schnitzel with sweet and sour kraut. It was pretty good.
My only complaint is that an hour later I was hungry for power. /
Sour grapes make the best wine.
..........Everybody
is your neighbor.........Minnie Pearl …..Y'all Come
^^^
Kampala is the capital and largest city of Uganda. The city proper
is estimated to have a population of 1,680,800 people.
Worthless
Facts of the Week: Iapetus was a Titan, son of Uranus and
Gaea, and father of Atlas, Prometheus, Epimetheus and Menoetius. His
name derives from the Greek word meaning to pierce usually with a
spear; therefore, Iapetus may have been considered as the god of
craftsmanship, although other sources site him as the god of
mortality. / Iapetus is the third-largest natural satellite of
Saturn, eleventh-largest in the Solar System, and the largest body in
the Solar System known not to be in hydrostatic equilibrium.
Horror
Joke of the October (d):
I'll
never forget the first time my mother gave me candy corn. She said,
"Here - Lewis, this is candy corn. It's corn that tastes like
candy"... This tastes like crap! And every year since then,
Halloween has returned and I, like an Alzhiemer's patient, find
myself in the room, and the room has a big table in it, and on the
table is a bowl of candy corn. And I look at it as if I've never seen
it before. "Candy corn", I think. "Corn that tastes
like candy. I can't wait". Son of a bitch!!
--Lewis Black
Wicked
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Okay,
when does a joke become a “dad joke”...When it becomes apparent.
--50 Nerds of Grey
Weird
Word of the Week:
Nuciform – nut-like or nut-shaped
http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-nuc1.htm
Wacky
Uses for Common Products:
Keep your sink shining. Wipe the sink with a few drops of Wesson
Vegetable Oil on a soft cloth.
http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html
How
do you make a Whiskey Sour? Crush it's hopes and dreams. / Farmer
Jane is trying to raise sweet and sour pork by feeding her pigs
cherry pie and sour mash.
...........Life
is lollipops and raindrops.........Helen Reddy …..It's Not Easy
^^^^
The basic currency of Uganda is the shilling. Coin usually come in
100, 200, and 500 shillings but 10, 50 and 1000 also exist. Bank
notes come in 1000, 2000, 5000, 10000, 20000, and 50000 shilling
denominations. Currently 1 Ugandan Shilling equal 0.00027 of a US
Dollar.
Capitalist
Meme of the Week: Under Capitalism, Money Makes You.
Penultimate
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If
God wanted us to have unlimited free energy, he'd have put a giant
fusion reactor in the sky. --Submitted by sd of ks
Science
Fiction Convention of the Week:
Hal-Con 2019 (25-27, Halifax, NS) –The biggest, geekiest sci-fi
convention in Atlantic Canada... http://hal-con.com/
Horror
Joke of the October (e): Do
young skeletons have poster of Napoleon Bone-a-part in their rooms?
Do they say Bone-appetit before dinner?
Actual
Science Convention of the Week:
12th
International Conference & Exhibition on Biosensors &
Bioelectronics (25-26, Vancouver, BC) –Driving the future with
nanosensors...
https://www.allconferencealert.com/event-detail.html?ev_id=243148&eventname=
Puck
the Brave
Episode of the Week:
Here's our fearless Puck sleeping on my coat in the case of the
Winter Wetter.
What
do you call 2 acids with an attitude: A-mean-o and sour-foul-ric
acids. / They say that upwards of 75% of people suffer from sour
stomach at one time or another. Does that mean that 25% of them
enjoy it?
..........When
I awoke I was mistaken.........Minnie Pearl …..Columbus Stockade
Blues
^^^^^
Uganda's top exports are Coffee, Oil, Base Metals, Fish, Corn,
Cement, Tobacco, Tea, Sugar, Hides & Skins, Cocoa Beans, Beans...
in that order
Month
of the Week: October is Raptor Month
--What dinosaur had the healthiest teeth and gums? The Flosso-raptor
Horror
Joke of the October (f): Dracula
wanted to know which of his bats was the best. So he organized a
little competition. The bat which would drink more blood in the least
time would win. The first bat went and came back after 10 minutes.
Its mouth was full of blood. Dracula was impressed. He asked, "Nice,
how did you do it?" The bat said, "Do you see that tower?
Behind it there is a house. I went inside and drank the blood of all
the family." Dracula said, "Very good". The second bat
went and came back after 5 minutes. He too had blood on all his face.
Dracula was shocked, "How did you do that?" The bat said,
"Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a hotel. I went
inside and drank the blood of all the guests." Dracula said,
"Fantastic". Now the third bat went and came back just
after 1 minute. There was blood on all his body. Dracula couldn’t
believe his eyes, "How did you do that?" The bat said, "Do
you see that tower?" Dracula said, "Yes". And the bat
said, "Well, I didn’t".
Final
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Try
to remember, the greener grass across the fence may be due to a
septic tank issue.
Grammar
Joke of the Week: Homonyms
are a waist of thyme.
Today's
Peace of History, October 25, 1955:
Sadako Sasaki, following the Japanese custom of folding paper cranes
– symbols of good fortune and longevity – persisted daily in
folding cranes, hoping to create senbazuru (1000 paper cranes strung
together) when a person's dream is believed to come true, died.
The
Supreme Court is just like the regular court but with sour cream and
pico de gallo. / Why in the world is there an expiration date on sour
cream?
..........Then
remembering will have to do.........Helen Reddy …..You And Me
Against The World
Masthead
of the Week:
Friday ePistle October 25, 2019, Fermented ePistle. Peace and laughs
but not too sweet. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/.
Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS
66047
Horror
Joke of the October (g): Does anyone
know where adults can trick or treat? Looking for a neighborhood that
hands out tacos and margaritas. #NotAskingForAFriend
Moonbeam:
As a musician I tell you that if you were to suppress adultery,
fanaticism, crime, evil, the supernatural, there would no longer be
the means for writing one note. ― Georges Bizet
Cost
of War:
As
of 10/24/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,969,658,094,324.
As
of 10/17/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,967,766,021,060.
As
of 10/24/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $927,524,009,891.
As
of 10/17/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $926,238,944,918.
As
of 10/24/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $715,688,662,943.
As
of 10/17/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $714,071,735,057.
As
of 10/24/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $318,292,901,234.
As
of 10/17/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $317,925,379,727.
As
of 10/24/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,931,165,713,122.
As
of 10/17/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,926,002,789,276.
I
believe that there is a greater power in the world than the evil
power of military force, of nuclear bombs – there is a power of
good, of morality, of humanitarianism. --Linus Pauling
..........Never
place your affections on a green willow tree.........Minnie Pearl
…..On Top Of Old Smoky
When
Garfield jumped on the table it knocked over Jon's glass of lemonade.
Garfield was such a sour puss about it. / You know, I've been making
bread for a while now and you never know when the sourdough is gonna
rise. It's when you yeast expect it.
Famous
Last Words: ...and smiled mysteriously. John Steinbeck
Grapes of Wrath
May
Peace be your honey
And
Joy your sugar
prairie
mama
christine
Last
Laugh:
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