Friday, October 11, 2019

Eggcelent ePistle


Famous First Words: Good evening. --John Belushi (first skit on SNL, 1975)
It is World Egg Day !! Know who wrote “Great Egg-spectations”? Charles Chickens. He must have gotten a good eggucation to do that.
..........green grass beneath my feet.........Dottie West …..Country Sunshine
Remember your humanity, and forget the rest. --Bertrand Russell
Usually the introduction to the ePistle is filled with an English major's description of weather and foliage and wildlife. This morning Puck and I did walk briefly then I took Jeffrey to the bank and to McDonalds to wait until he goes to work. Then I went to breakfast as Panera (nice sausage egg on brioche) and to the doctor. I got a pretty good report from the doctor and he gave me a low dosage thyroid medicine prescription which I dropped off at Dillons. When I came out the car would not start. Fortunately, the gentleman parked facing me in the parking lot was kind and had jumper cables so I made it home and Dashiell is out trying to find out what's up with that. I have finally made it to my computer and have coffee and a blueberry muffin so the day is looking better. In case you need to know, the sky is very blue with lots of fluffy white clouds, the grass and trees are still green. It is windy and almost, but not quite, cold (37°F). Hopefully next week we can go back to a gentle, laid-back description of the day. Still, I get to write to you; things are definitely looking up.
Hope your weekend eggcedes your eggspectations, ePistliers.
Hennie Pennie went on holiday to New Yolk. It's odd because she's eggarophobic and usually won't come out of her shell.
..........There ain't no other side to see.........Hall and Oates …..When The Morning Comes
Trivia Questions: It is the International Day of the Girl.
^ Why does the United Nations mark this day?
^^ Any idea about how many girls are there in world?
^^^ Care to guess how many of these girls will be married or married off before they turn 18?
^^^^ Know anything about the Day of the Girl US organization?
^^^^^ Any idea what the 2019 theme is?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Before my surgery my anesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle. It was an ether/oar situation. --Submitted by msh of bc
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 32%of librarians have been cold since 1986. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
Horror Joke of the October: Watch Out Parents! Millennials may be hiding their student loan debt in Halloween candy this year. --Submitted by rv of ks
Eggs are going up again. That will surprise a few chickens. / Sometimes I steal eggs from my neighbor's coop. I prefer them poached.
..........Sands of time have chipped away.........Dottie West …..Rings of Gold
Moonbeam: You must do the things you think you cannot do. --Eleanor Roosevelt
Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: Tree Stump

Big Hello: Xewani – Tsonga (South Africa) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm
RIP of the Week: So long, Ginger Baker, thanks for all the music. --What the difference between clapton and coffee? None, they are both better with cream. --The_soosh
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Can't believe someone broke into my garage and stole the limbo stick. Seriously, how low can you go.
Week of the Week: Financial Planning Week (7-12) –The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The optimist sees the glass as half full. The financial adviser just adds whiskey.
Egbert is so full of himself, he's an eggomaniac. His behavior is always eggcentric.
...........'Cause you know it don't matter anyway.........Hall and Oates …..Rich Girl
^ In 1995, some 30,000 women and men from nearly 200 countries arrived in Beijing, China for the Fourth World Conference on Women, determined to recognize the rights of women and girls as human rights.
Almanac:It is Friday, October 11, 2019. The moon will be full (Hunter's) on Sunday and is in Pisces. It is International Day of the Girl Child, It's My Party Day, General Pulaski Memorial Day, National Coming Out Day, Southern Food Heritage Day, World Egg Day, and World Sight Day.
Among those born on this day were Eleanor Roosevelt (1884), Jerome Robbins (1918), Art Blakey (1919), Elmore Leonard (1925), Dottie West (1932), Daryl Hall (1948), and Luke Perry (1971).
On October eleventh slavery was abolished in Maryland (1864), the Daughters of the American Revolution was founded (1890), Saturday Night Live premiered (Host George Carlin, 1975), Reagan met with Gorbachev in Reykjavik (1986), and Anita Hill testifed against Clarence Thomas (1991).
Night Sky, 10/11: Soon after dark, you'll find zero-magnitude Arcturus low in the west-northwest at the same height as zero-magnitude Capella in the northeast. When this happens, turn to the south-southeast, and there will be 1st-magnitude Fomalhaut at the same height. Seen from south Fomalhaut will appear higher; from north of there it will be lower. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max meets Sir Ector

This Week: Saturday, October 12 – Costume Swap Day & Drink Local Wine Day & Free Thought Day
Night Sky, 10/12: Look above the nearly-full Moon this evening for the Great Square of Pegasus through the moonlight. It's balancing on one corner, and your fist at arm's length fits inside it. For your location, when it is exactly balanced? That is, when is the Square's top corner exactly above its bottom corner?
Sunday, October 13 – Clergy Appreciation Day & National Chess Day & Silly Sayings Day
Monday, October 14 – Native American Day & World Standards Day
Night Sky, 10/14: Mercury, Venus, & Mars are lost deep in the glare of the sun.
Tuesday, October 15 – National Cake Decorating Day & National Grouch Day & White Cane Safety Day
Wednesday, October 16 – Dictionary Day & Global Cat Day & National Take Your Parents to Lunch Day
Thursday, October 17 – Black Poetry Day & Mulligan Day & Spirit Day
It was so hot in Kansas this summer the hens were laying hard-boiled eggs. While up north they were keeping their eggs in an eggloo.
..........Haven't seen you for so long.........Dottie West …..Are You Happy
^^ The 1.1 billion girls of today’s world are challenging the status quo. They’re redefining girlhood, and they’re doing so against the odds.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's important to look closely at lawn signs during election campaigns. Last time I voted for a real estate agent...
19th Amendment Centennial Poem of the Century: When a benefit is suggested for men, the question asked is: "Will it benefit men?" When a benefit is suggested for women, the question is: "Will it benefit men?" --Alice Duer Miller Are Women People
Moonbeam: A woman is like a tea bag – you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. --Eleanor Roosevelt
Late Night Snacks of the Week: It is very easy to be both pro-choice and anti-forced abortion, in the same way that you can be pro-drinking fountain and anti-waterboarding. The important thing really is who’s in control of the f*cking process. --John Oliver / Everyone in Trump’s orbit gets sucked into his mess including the “adults in the room” like Bill Barr. Watch as Republicans try to deflect by name-dropping the Bidens more than someone who’s trying to sneak into a DNC fundraiser. --Samantha Bee / No one deserves to be dragged down by Drumpf more than Mike Pence. --Seth Meyers / Drumpf is Homer Simpson and he basically picked Ned Flanders as his VP. --Trevor Noah / The constitution gives the accused the right to remain silent and clearly, Donald Drumpf has never read the constitution because he will not shut the old hamburger hole. ---Stephen Colbert
Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: Ever since the now-infamous whistleblower report came out last week, the president and his defenders have been saying, of course, Mr. Trump wasn't really pressuring foreign countries to investigate an opponent. He was just concerned with political corruption. He's always been interested in corruption. You could say it's his hobby. Why did - I mean, they've been trying so hard to sort of cover all this up. And he just came out and said it. Did some presidential advisers say, we need to go on offense, and the president said, be offensive? Got it. --Peter Sagal, Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me 10/5/19
Either man will abolish war, or war will abolish man. --Bertrand Russell
One of farmer Jane's hens fell in love with her cement mixer. It was a whirlwind romance that produced a brick layer. / My dad taught us not to put all our eggs in one basket. I'm sure that's why we never once won an Easter egg hunt.
..........Don't know what you're looking for.........Hall and Oates …..Your Imagination
Worthless Fact of the Week: General Pulaski Memorial Day is a United States observance held annually on October 11. This holiday honors General Kazimierz (Casimir) Pulaski, a Polish hero of the American Revolutionary War, who is referred to as the father of the American cavalry.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering.
Weird Word of the Week: Logocidal - the destruction or perversion of meaning, something deadly to reason and communication. Newspeak in George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four was a logocidal creation. http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-log3.htm
Wacky Uses for Common Products: Make cleaning a barbecue grill easy. Before cooking, coat the grill with Wesson Vegetable Oil. Clean when the grill is cool to the touch. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html
Farmer John swore he saw a UFO land behind the chicken coop – several nights in a row. Sure enough, he ended up with an eggstraterrestrial. / Confused chickens often lay scrambled eggs.
...........Hands that just throw stones.........Dottie West …..Look Who's Talking
^^^^ Day of the Girl-US is the United States branch of this global movement. We are an 100% youth-led movement fighting for gender justice and youth rights. Our work to dismantle the patriarchy and fight for social justice is rooted in girl-led activism across the country, using October 11th as a day of national action.
Antepenultimate Funnitest Thing I Read of the Week: Whatever you're doing today, do it with all the confidence of a four year old in a batman t-shirt. --RHOZ
Capitalist Meme of the Week: Do you know why commies type everything in lower case letters? Because they're anti-capitalists.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Kansas: Winter is at 6 am, Spring starts at 10 am, Summer is at 2 pm, and fall starts around 4:30ish. Dress accordingly. --Submitted by rmar of ks
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Conapalooza 2019 (11-13, Kingsport, TN) Tri-Cities Premier Pop-Culture & Gaming Convention https://www.conapalooza.com/
Actual Science Convention of the Week: Advances in Immuno Oncology (10-11, San Diego) global pharmaceutical organizations, leading biotech companies and internationally renowned academic institutions https://10times.com/advances-in-immuno-oncology-usa-congress
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck not apologizing for Snoop Dog's show at Late Night in the Phog during the case of the Slam Dunkin' Dorkie.

GEGS...scrambled eggs / Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk, it is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
..........Slip on in to any disguise.........Hall and Oates …..Private Eyes
^^^^^ This year, under the theme, “GirlForce: Unscripted and unstoppable”, we will celebrate achievements by, with and for girls since the adoption of the Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action.
Month of the Week: October is Agent Orange Awareness Month --The number of Vietnam veterans affected by the chemical Agent Orange is astonishing. Roughly 300-thousand veterans have died from Agent Orange exposure -- that's almost five times as many as the 58-thousand who died in combat.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I saw an ad for a coffin and I thought...that's the last thing I need. --Submitted by msh of bc
Grammar Joke of the Week: I was walking past a farm and a sign said,”DUCK, EGGS”. I thought it was an unnecessary comma, and then it hit me. --Submitted by msh of bc
Today's Peace of History, October 11, 1987: More than half a million people flooded Washington, D.C., demanding civil rights for gay and lesbian Americans, now celebrated each year as National Coming Out Day. Many of the marchers objected to the government's response to the AIDS crisis, as well as the Supreme Court's 1986 decision to uphold sodomy laws in Bowers v. Hardwick.
An egg walked into a bar. It was a real mess. Don't tell this to the egg whites, they can't take a yolk.
..........Your laughter spills like a river.........Dottie West …..Sweet Memories
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle October 11, 2019, Eggcellent ePistle. Eggstordinary Laughs and Peace. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. --Eleanor Roosevelt
Cost of War:
As of 10/10/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,965,673,063,749.
As of 10/03/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,963,690,530,721.
As of 10/10/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $924,816,703,460.
As of 10/03/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $923,469,365,826.
As of 10/10/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $712,283,947,637.
As of 10/03/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $710,590,133,396.
As of 10/10/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $317,519,094,645.
As of 10/03/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $317,134,139,594.
As of 10/10/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,920,293,646,924.
As of 10/03/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,914,884,921,248.
One must care about a world one will not see. --Bertrand Russell
..........But a lot of sweet memories.........Hall and Oates …..Sweet Memories
The Jones Family Farm used to sell Free Range Eggs until too many city folks seeing the signs stopped to say they didn't know what Range Eggs were, but since the eggs were free, they'd try some.
Famous Last Words: I could not keep silent. --Anita Hill Opening statement before the Judiciary Committee (10/11/91)
May Peace sweeten your tea
And Joy hush your puppies
prairie mama
christine


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