Acrid ePistle

Famous First Words: Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more... William Shakespeare St Crispin's Day Speech Henry V

Welcome to Sourest Day – Smiles be banished! Replace them with pouts and terrible frowns! --On my summer vacation I took a jar of French Onion Sour Cream into the Pacific with me. That was my dip in the ocean. / That new Jurassic Park restaurant serves triceratops with a garlic lemon sauce. The dish is called Dinosour.

..........And I know to much to go back and pretend.........Helen Reddy …..I Am Woman

I have something that I call my Golden Rule. It goes something like this: Do unto others twenty-five percent better than you expect them to do unto you. The twenty-five percent is for error. --Linus Pauling

It is a gloomy Friday morning. The sky is laden with clouds some gray, some white all textured and dimpled but none allowing the rising sun to break through. 41°F temperature is nippy but there is no significant breeze to enhance its power. Puck barks at a squirrel who is crossing the street on the overhead power line and then at some unseen movement in the bushes near by. Our local murder of crows fly over complaining loudly and breaking the near silence. A driverless car sits running, warming up, in a driveway; and the for rent sign has disappeared from another. Cottonwoods in the park at the end of the cul-de-sac have turned yellow and one small tree in a nearby yard is sporting orange and red leaves on top but most foliage is still green and summery looking. The neighborhood is alive and always changing. We return home – warm and cozy, smelling of coffee. Puck slurps up some milk that I put in his saucer and curls up on his jayhawk blanket for a snooze. I doctor my decaf - sweet and tart (not sour) – and sit down to write to you. What a morning!

Hope your weekend is a sweet as honey, ePistliers

I just ordered Hong Kong style sweet and sour chicken from Happy Luck Gardens. It was delivered by 4 NFL linebackers who fired tear gas through my front door. / I fell in love with a cucumber farmer. We had many good years together but then, as theses things do, it turned sour. Long story short, I'm in a bit of a pickle.

..........What harm can a little flirtin' do.........Minnie Pearl …..How To Catch A Man

Trivia Questions: Welcome to the UN, Uganda

^ Any idea about what size Uganda is?

^^ How many of Uganda's 5 neighbors can you name?

^^^ What's the capital of Uganda?

^^^^ Know what currency Uganda uses?

^^^^^ How about Uganda's exports?

First Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Did you know if your parachute doesn't deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it. --50 Nerds of Grey

Horror Joke of the October (a): That movie, High Spirits, not accurate at all. Everybody knows that ghosts only haunt living rooms.

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week²: Well, to be Frank....I'd have to change my name. 50NOG

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: How libraries destroy old hard drives: 25% screwdrivers, 35% soak in cup of tea, 40% leave in the kids room for one hour. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

Rabbi Sholem had a sour stomach, but then he was an Acidic Jew. / If Marty McFly had bipolar disorder would that make him sweet n' sour chicken?

..........Could it be a faded rose from days gone by.........Helen Reddy …..Delta Dawn

Moonbeam: Half the confusion in the world comes from not knowing how little we need. --Richard E Byrd

Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: The human nipple

October is national breast cancer awareness month

Big Hello: Dumela – Tswana (Botswana) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Raise your hand if you try to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so bystanders don't hear you fighting for your life.

Horror Joke of the October (b): It was Halloween and the ghosts and zombies had gathered for their annual spooketi dinner but the skeletons wouldn't come because they didn't have the guts.

Week of the Week: International Magic Week (25-31) –I had a magical owl named WHOODINI. He used to buy illusions for a buck at the local magic shop. They were cheap tricks.

I was going to rank fruits by how sour they are; but I found them all sublime.

..........I need a papa to turn the damper down.........Minnie Pearl …..Jealous Hearted Me

^ Uganda is 93,065 sq mi and has a population of 42.86 million. That's between the size of Michigan and Minnesota

Almanac: It is Friday, October 25, 2019. The moon will be new on Monday and is in Libra. It is National Mole Day, Chucky, The Notorious Killer Doll Day, International Artists Day, International Bandanna Day, National Breadsticks Day, National Pharmacy Buyer Day, Sourest Day, and World Past Day.

Among those born on this day were Johann Strauss (1825), Georges Bizet (1838), John Heisman (1869), Pablo Picasso (1881), Richard Byrd (1888), Minnie Pearl (1912), Billy Barty (1924), Marion Ross (1928), Anthony Franciosa (1928), Bob Knight (1940), Helen Reddy (1941), and Julia Roberts (1967).

On October twenty-fifth Battle of Agincourt was fought (1415), Cassini discovered Iapetus, a moon of Saturn (1671), George III ascended the throne (1760), Little Orphan Annie first appeared (1924), Peace talks began in Punmunjom (1951), Uganda was admitted to the UN (110th member, 1962), Steinbeck received the Nobel Prize (1962), and the International Red Cross was ousted from South Africa (1986).

Night Sky, 10/25: The Ghost of Summer Suns. Halloween is approaching, and this means that Arcturus, the star sparkling low in the west-northwest in twilight, is taking on its role as "the Ghost of Summer Suns." For several days centered on October 25th every year, Arcturus occupies a special place above your local landscape. It closely marks the spot where the Sun stood at the same time, by the clock, during hot June and July — in broad daylight, of course! So, as Halloween approaches every year, you can see Arcturus as the chilly remaining ghost of the departed summer Sun. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Max Picture of the Week: Max meets Captain Hook

This Week: Saturday, October 26 – Make a Difference Day & Mule Day & Howl at the Moon Night

Sunday, October 27 – Black Cat Day & Diwali & Mother-In-Law Day

Night Sky, 10/27: Look for Capella sparkling low in the northeast these evenings. Look for the Pleiades cluster, fingertip-size, about three fists at arm's length to Capella's right. These harbingers of the cold months rise higher as evening grows late. Upper right of Capella, and upper left of the Pleiades, the stars of Perseus lie astride the Milky Way.

Monday, October 28 – Champagne Day & World Stroke Day

Tuesday, October 29 – National Cat Day & National Hermit Day

Night Sky, 10/29: Mercury and Venus are very low in bright twilight after sunset. Start by trying for Venus, magnitude –3.8. It's just above the west-southwest horizon a mere 20 minutes after sunset. Binoculars will help. To its left is Mercury, much dimmer at magnitude –0.1 all week.

Wednesday, October 30 – Checklist Day & Mischief Night aka Devil's Night & Haunted Refrigerator Night

Thursday, October 31 – Magic Day & National UNICEF Day & All Hallows Eve

Those Buddhist monks have those sour faces because they're acetic. / The waitress asked if I wanted sour cream, bacon, and chives on my potato? What a loaded question.

..........and wings as dark as night.........Helen Reddy …..I Saw A Dragon

^^ Uganda is bordered by Kenya to the east, South Sudan to the north, the Democratic Republic of the Congo to the west, Rwanda to the south-west and Tanzania to the south.

'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If I got a dollar every time someone told me to name my future kid “Batmo” I'd almost have enough to pay for therapy for a kid named Batmo. --Jessica Biel.

Horror Joke of the October (c): The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over. And the candy corn company sends the guys to the villages and they collect out of the dumpsters all the candy corn we've thrown away. They wash it!! They wash it! --Lewis Black

Moonbeam: Most people have the will to win, few have the will to prepare to win. --Bobby Knight

Still Another Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If I was Snow White you'd never be able to kill me with an apple...you'd have to poison an eclair or something...

Late Night Snacks of the Week: If you were keeping up with the news today, you know that it was more chaotic than free cocaine day at Dave and Buster’s. --Trevor Noah / Is it even really a meltdown any more? Trump didn’t have a meltdown – he had a Wednesday. --Jimmy Kimmel / If you’re friends with a government ethics expert and you’re wondering why their head randomly exploded into little pieces today; it’s probably because they saw that Donald Trump announced that his Florida golf resort will host next year’s G7 summit. The arrangement violates ethics rules on profiting off foreign governments but there’s nothing Trump won’t do to profit off the presidency. I bet you he’s going to be outside his own impeachment trial just scalping tickets. --Trevor Noah / Why are there 12 candidates in the debate now, since the last debate had 10. You can’t subtract candidates and then add some back in … You don’t go to the Final Four and suddenly you’re back to the Elite Eight. Sen Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota, for example, is eight laps behind and stopped to get lunch and she’s still in the race. It doesn’t make sense. --Jimmy Kimmel ~~Everyone else was on vacation

Not So Classic Not So Late Night Snacks: So sometime this last summer, the president made a, quote, "promise" to a foreign leader, and somebody in the intelligence community was so upset they filed a whistleblower report. By law, that report is supposed to be handed to Congress, but the White House said, nuh-uh (ph). So we don't know yet what the president actually said or to whom he said it. But whatever it is, it must be worse than the stuff we already know about. And that can only mean he has sold the Earth to the aliens. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 9/21/19

Life is a relationship among molecules and not a property of any molecule. --Linus Pauling

I went to a Chinese/German fusion buffet today for lunch. I had the Szechuan Schnitzel with sweet and sour kraut. It was pretty good. My only complaint is that an hour later I was hungry for power. / Sour grapes make the best wine.

..........Everybody is your neighbor.........Minnie Pearl …..Y'all Come

^^^ Kampala is the capital and largest city of Uganda. The city proper is estimated to have a population of 1,680,800 people.

Worthless Facts of the Week: Iapetus was a Titan, son of Uranus and Gaea, and father of Atlas, Prometheus, Epimetheus and Menoetius. His name derives from the Greek word meaning to pierce usually with a spear; therefore, Iapetus may have been considered as the god of craftsmanship, although other sources site him as the god of mortality. / Iapetus is the third-largest natural satellite of Saturn, eleventh-largest in the Solar System, and the largest body in the Solar System known not to be in hydrostatic equilibrium.

Horror Joke of the October (d): I'll never forget the first time my mother gave me candy corn. She said, "Here - Lewis, this is candy corn. It's corn that tastes like candy"... This tastes like crap! And every year since then, Halloween has returned and I, like an Alzhiemer's patient, find myself in the room, and the room has a big table in it, and on the table is a bowl of candy corn. And I look at it as if I've never seen it before. "Candy corn", I think. "Corn that tastes like candy. I can't wait". Son of a bitch!! --Lewis Black

Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Okay, when does a joke become a “dad joke”...When it becomes apparent. --50 Nerds of Grey

Weird Word of the Week: Nuciform – nut-like or nut-shaped http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-nuc1.htm

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Keep your sink shining. Wipe the sink with a few drops of Wesson Vegetable Oil on a soft cloth. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html

How do you make a Whiskey Sour? Crush it's hopes and dreams. / Farmer Jane is trying to raise sweet and sour pork by feeding her pigs cherry pie and sour mash.

...........Life is lollipops and raindrops.........Helen Reddy …..It's Not Easy

^^^^ The basic currency of Uganda is the shilling. Coin usually come in 100, 200, and 500 shillings but 10, 50 and 1000 also exist. Bank notes come in 1000, 2000, 5000, 10000, 20000, and 50000 shilling denominations. Currently 1 Ugandan Shilling equal 0.00027 of a US Dollar.

Capitalist Meme of the Week: Under Capitalism, Money Makes You.

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: If God wanted us to have unlimited free energy, he'd have put a giant fusion reactor in the sky. --Submitted by sd of ks

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Hal-Con 2019 (25-27, Halifax, NS) –The biggest, geekiest sci-fi convention in Atlantic Canada... http://hal-con.com/

Horror Joke of the October (e): Do young skeletons have poster of Napoleon Bone-a-part in their rooms? Do they say Bone-appetit before dinner?

Actual Science Convention of the Week: 12^th International Conference & Exhibition on Biosensors & Bioelectronics (25-26, Vancouver, BC) –Driving the future with nanosensors... https://www.allconferencealert.com/event-detail.html?ev_id=243148&eventname=

Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck sleeping on my coat in the case of the Winter Wetter.

What do you call 2 acids with an attitude: A-mean-o and sour-foul-ric acids. / They say that upwards of 75% of people suffer from sour stomach at one time or another. Does that mean that 25% of them enjoy it?

..........When I awoke I was mistaken.........Minnie Pearl …..Columbus Stockade Blues

^^^^^ Uganda's top exports are Coffee, Oil, Base Metals, Fish, Corn, Cement, Tobacco, Tea, Sugar, Hides & Skins, Cocoa Beans, Beans... in that order

Month of the Week: October is Raptor Month --What dinosaur had the healthiest teeth and gums? The Flosso-raptor

Horror Joke of the October (f): Dracula wanted to know which of his bats was the best. So he organized a little competition. The bat which would drink more blood in the least time would win. The first bat went and came back after 10 minutes. Its mouth was full of blood. Dracula was impressed. He asked, "Nice, how did you do it?" The bat said, "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went inside and drank the blood of all the family." Dracula said, "Very good". The second bat went and came back after 5 minutes. He too had blood on all his face. Dracula was shocked, "How did you do that?" The bat said, "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a hotel. I went inside and drank the blood of all the guests." Dracula said, "Fantastic". Now the third bat went and came back just after 1 minute. There was blood on all his body. Dracula couldn’t believe his eyes, "How did you do that?" The bat said, "Do you see that tower?" Dracula said, "Yes". And the bat said, "Well, I didn’t".

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Try to remember, the greener grass across the fence may be due to a septic tank issue.

Grammar Joke of the Week: Homonyms are a waist of thyme.

Today's Peace of History, October 25, 1955: Sadako Sasaki, following the Japanese custom of folding paper cranes – symbols of good fortune and longevity – persisted daily in folding cranes, hoping to create senbazuru (1000 paper cranes strung together) when a person's dream is believed to come true, died.

The Supreme Court is just like the regular court but with sour cream and pico de gallo. / Why in the world is there an expiration date on sour cream?

..........Then remembering will have to do.........Helen Reddy …..You And Me Against The World

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle October 25, 2019, Fermented ePistle. Peace and laughs but not too sweet. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Horror Joke of the October (g): Does anyone know where adults can trick or treat? Looking for a neighborhood that hands out tacos and margaritas. #NotAskingForAFriend

Moonbeam: As a musician I tell you that if you were to suppress adultery, fanaticism, crime, evil, the supernatural, there would no longer be the means for writing one note. ― Georges Bizet

Cost of War:

As of 10/24/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,969,658,094,324.

As of 10/17/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,967,766,021,060.

As of 10/24/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $927,524,009,891.

As of 10/17/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $926,238,944,918.

As of 10/24/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $715,688,662,943.

As of 10/17/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $714,071,735,057.

As of 10/24/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $318,292,901,234.

As of 10/17/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $317,925,379,727.

As of 10/24/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,931,165,713,122.

As of 10/17/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,926,002,789,276.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

I believe that there is a greater power in the world than the evil power of military force, of nuclear bombs – there is a power of good, of morality, of humanitarianism. --Linus Pauling

..........Never place your affections on a green willow tree.........Minnie Pearl …..On Top Of Old Smoky

When Garfield jumped on the table it knocked over Jon's glass of lemonade. Garfield was such a sour puss about it. / You know, I've been making bread for a while now and you never know when the sourdough is gonna rise. It's when you yeast expect it.

Famous Last Words: ...and smiled mysteriously. John Steinbeck Grapes of Wrath

May Peace be your honey

And Joy your sugar

prairie mama

christine

Last Laugh:

Edgy ePistle

Famous First Words: Many strange legends are told... The Jungle Book (1967)

October is Caffeine Addiction Recovery Month. But it's a Brewtiful Day! / This coffee tastes like dirt. Well, it was ground this morning.

We must not have a Nuclear war. We must begin to solve international disputes by the application of man's power of reason in a way that is worthy of the dignity of man. --Linus Pauline

It is a blustery Friday morning. The 52°F temperature is crisp; but the wind is wonderful. It makes the leaves of the cottonwoods wag faster than Puck's tail. It gives the illusion that the trees are giggling and they make a noise like cats playing with tissue paper. The willows on the other hand are silently dancing in great lashing sweeps. Puck barks at everything. The sky is devoid of clouds but decaying jet trails are meeting up to form puffs of pink – fading to white – that drift slowly across the pale blue morning. No birds can be seen in any direction. Lawns are still green and lush looking. The only dead, brown foliage is the grass from the low spot in the park at the end of the cul-de-sac which held water all summer. We turn back towards home so the wind (13mph) is at our back. Two large dogs come to the front fence for a bark-fest with Puck before they are called into the house. But now we are in. In from the wind...In from the smell of fall...Into the smell of brewing coffee...Into the warmth. So I sit a cup of decaf doctored with the usual sweetener but also creamed with artificial milk because my new thyroid medicine doesn't like calcium. A terrific morning topped off by writing to you.

Hope yours is the champagne of weekends, ePistliers .

The lady working at the desk next to mine asked if I wake up grumpy in the morning. I said, “No, I just bring him some coffee. / This morning our pot of coffee was so sad it made depresso.

..........Devil can't get out of hand.........Laura Nyro …..Luckie

Trivia Questions: Happy Birthday, Circus, Circus!!

^ What do you know about the Circus, Circus building?

^^ Which James Bond movie featured the hotel's famous midway?

^^^ What is the name of the iconic Circus Circus Marquee?

^^^^ Which 1971 journalistic novel called Circus, Circus the “sixth Reich”?

^^^^^ Who currently owns Circus Circus?

Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I Dig, You Dig, We Dig, He Dig, She Dig, They Dig. --It's not a beautiful poem but it's very deep.

Horror Joke of the October: The month of October is just a vicious circle of buying a bag of candy for Halloween and then buying another bag because you ate the first one yourself.

Second Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: How do you get Trump to change a light bulb? You don't. He will lie that he changed it and all the Republicans will sit in the day and agree it was changed. --Submitted by pj of ks

Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 67% of librarians have checked out at least one book just so it would not be weeded. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts

I asked the waitress if this was suppose to be coffee or tea. She asked what it tasted like and I said gasoline. Well, that would be the coffee. The tea tastes like turpentine. / E=MC² … Energy equals Milk times Coffee squared

..........Let the wind blow Timer, I like her song.........Laura Nyro …..Timer

Moonbeam: Bilingualism is not an imposition on the citizens. The citizens can go on speaking one language or six languages, or no languages if they so choose. Bilingualism is an imposition on the state and not the citizens. --Pierre Trudeau

Naturally Occurring Mandala of the Week: Volcano

Big Hello: K'uxi – Tsotsil (Chiapas, Mexico) https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hello.htm

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Due to rising costs dirty deeds are no longer done dirt cheap. Sorry for the inconvenience. --RHOZ

Week of the Week: Earth Science Week (13-19) –Don't expect perfection from geologists; they all have their faults. / Rock-Rock-Rock (The geologists' version of rock-paper-scissors) Igneous erodes Sedimentary...no, wait, Igneous melts metamorphic. Or is it sedimentary alters Metamorphic. Then what does metamorphic do?

Horror Joke of the October II: I can go from Halo to Broomstick in 2.3 seconds. --RHOZ

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week Plus 1:Today I am going to give it my some.

A guy put some coins in a vending machine and pressed the Coffee, double cream, sugar Button. No cup appeared but 2 nozzles went into action – one sending forth coffee, the other cream. After the proper amounts had gone down the drain where the cup should have been, the machine turned itself off. “Now that's real automation”, he exclaimed, “this thing even drink it for you.”

..........time to design a woman.........Laura Nyro …..Emmie

^ Circus Circus was opened on October 18, 1968 by Jay Sarno and Stanley Mallin, becoming the flagship casino for Circus Circus Enterprises. Architects Rissman and Rissman Associates designed a giant circus tent shaped main structure, which was built by R.C. Johnson Construction of Las Vegas.

Almanac: It is Friday, October 18, 2019. The moon will be last quarter on Monday and is in Gemini. It is No Beard Day, Global Champagne Day, Mammograhy Day, Hard Boiled Guy/Girl Day, National Chocolate Cupcake Day, and Meatloaf Appreciation Day.

Among those born on this day were Heinrich von Kleist (1777), Lotte Lenya (1898), Pierre Trudeau (1919), Jesse Helms (1921), Melina Mercouri (1925), Chuck Berry (1926), George C. Scott (1926), Lee Harvey Oswald (1939), Mike Ditka (1939), Willie Horton (1942), Laura Nyro (1947), and Jean-Claude Van Damme (1958).

On October eighteenth the first US labor organization formed (Boston Shoemakers, 1648), the Treaty of Aix-la-Chapelle ended the War of Austrian Succession (1748), the Mason Dixon line was agreed upon (1767), Columbia, Princeton, Rutgers, & Yale set rules for collegiate football (1873), the first commercial long-distance line opened (1892), the BBC was established (1922), and Circus Circus opened (1968).

Night Sky, 10/18: Vega is the brightest star high in the west after dark. To its lower right (nearly a fist and a half at arm's length), look for Eltanin, the nose of Draco the Dragon. The rest of Draco's fainter, lozenge-shaped head is a little farther behind. Draco always eyes Vega. The main stars of Vega's own constellation, Lyra — quite faint by comparison — now extend to Vega's left. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/

Max Picture of the Week: Max waiting to meet The Little Mermaid

Still Another Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: What did you do to “observe” Columbus Day ... get lost in a grocery store looking for spices? --Submitted by ae of mo

This Week: Saturday, October 19 – Bridge Day & Evaluate Your Life Day & Sloth International Day & Sweetest Day

Night Sky, 10/19: Vega shines high in the west after dark. About equally high in the southwest is Altair, not quite as bright. Just upper right of Altair, by a finger-width at arm's length, spot little orange Tarazed. Down from Tarazed runs the stick-figure backbone of Aquila, the Eagle.

Sunday, October 20 – International Chef's Day & World Toy Camera Day & National Sunday School Teacher Appreciation Day

Monday, October 21 – Celebration of the Mind Day & Lung Health Day & Reptile Awareness Day

Tuesday, October 22 – CAPS LOCK DAY & National Nut Day & Smart Is Cool Day

Night Sky, 10/22: Jupiter (magnitude –2.0, in the feet of Ophiuchus) is the white dot low in the southwest as twilight fades. To Jupiter's lower right by 11° or 12°, can you still spot Antares, one sixteenth as bright?

Wednesday, October 23 – Mole Day & Unity Day & TV Talk Show Host Day

Night Sky, 10/23: Saturn (magnitude +0.5, in Sagittarius) is the steady yellow "star" in the south-southwest during and after dusk. It's 24° upper left of Jupiter.

Thursday, October 24 – United Nations Day & Food Day

A gal walks into a coffee house and orders 4 shots of the most expensive espresso. She downs them all one after the other. “You must be in a great hurry”, remarked the barista. “You'd be too if you had what I have,” replied the woman. “What have you got?” t he barista asked. “Fifty cents,” she replied.

..........last trace of ruby and flame.........Laura Nyro …..Triple Goddess Twilight

^^ The hotel's famous midway was featured in the 1971 James Bond film Diamonds Are Forever.

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Sign at a impeachment rally: Mass Incarceration Now !

Horror Joke of the October III: Halloween hasn't been the same since the FDA started regulating safety coated caplets of eye of newt.

Moonbeam: We must make a journey around the world to see if a back door has perhaps been left open. --Heinrich von Kleist

Late Night Snacks of the Week: The whistles are blowing, the witches are hunting, but the president keeps on going. Trump is handling this impeachment crisis about as well as you expect, which is badly. Very, very badly. --Jimmy Kimmel / What do you mean you’re not participating? It’s an impeachment inquiry, not Secret Santa. You don’t get to choose whether you participate! You’re like a guy being dragged away in handcuffs screaming, "I’m not participating in this arrest". --Seth Meyers /In the end, Trump may be defeated by his greatest weakness: his Achilles mouth. The spiral is detailed in the epic poem: the Idiod. --Stephen Colbert / (US Ambassador to the EU) Sondland was tasked by the president to deal with Ukraine – despite Ukraine not being in the EU. That’s not his jurisdiction. That would be like Santa doing the Tooth Fairy’s job. --Trevor Noah

Not So Late Night Snacks of the Week: ..one of these shady Ukrainian associates, as part of his business, owns a beach club in Odessa in Ukraine called Mafia Rave. I am not kidding. Man, I mean, you can say what you want about Nixon, but his friends didn't own a club called Burglar Bar. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, 10/12/19

Nobody wins. Nobody benefits from destructive war of this sort and there is all of this human suffering. --Linus Pauling

On the elevator the other day, a guy got on with a giant cup of coffee. He started complaining about how caffeine made him nervous so I suggested he stop drinking it. “No”, he said, “if I didn't have the shakes I wouldn't get any exercise at all.”

..........First star leads to Venus.........Laura Nyro …..Triple Goddess Twilight

^^^ Lucky The Clown, the marquee at the entrance was provided by Young Electric Sign Company and was constructed in 1976.

Worthless Fact of the Week: Lotte Lenya was born Koroline Wilhelmine Blamauer in Vienna to working class parents. She died in New York City in 1981.

Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Tomorrow is Saturday which means that I will be multi-slacking instead of multi-tasking.

Preantepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Midwestern pride is suffering through a 40° day in October with a hoodie because you don't want to give winter the satisfaction of getting your winter coat out yet.

Weird Word of the Week: Mobisode – A mobisode (from mobile+episode) is a specially created mini-television series suitable for showing on the two-inch phone screen of new handsets. http://www.worldwidewords.org/turnsofphrase/tp-mob1.htm

Wacky Uses for Common Products: Remove paper stuck to a wood surface. Saturate the paper with Wesson Vegetable Oil, let it sit for a while, and gently peel the paper off. http://www.wackyuses.com/wacky/wesson.html

My plan 1) Get up 2) Have coffee 3) kick ass Have more coffee 4) Keep having coffee 5) Twitch through the day like a magical caffeinated unicorn of excellence. / Sleep is a weak substitute for coffee.

...........Running from the mindreader.........Laura Nyro …..Once It Was Alright Now (Farmer Joe)

^^^^ In his journalistic novel of the early 1970s, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Hunter S. Thompson wrote, "The Circus-Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. This is the sixth Reich. The ground floor is full of gambling tables, like all the other casinos . . . but the place is about four stories high, in the style of a circus tent, and all manner of strange County-Fair/Polish Carnival madness is going on up in this space."

Antepenultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: It's kind of patronizing that a computer asks you to prove you're not a robot.

Capitalist Meme of the Week: SMASH CAPITALISM ...sent from my iphone...

Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Allow children to believe in Santa Claus. You believe in essential oils and no one is ruining that magic for you. --RHOZ

Science Fiction Convention of the Week: ValleyCon 45 (18-20, Fargo) ...the longest-running, most attended, largest festival of popular culture – featuring sci-fi, fantasy, comics, anime, horror, gaming and film & TV - from Minneapolis to Seattle! http://valleycon.com/

I've Lost Track...Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: Brexit Explained: As the Unicorn got closer ... I realized that it was merely a donkey with a plunger on its head. -- SDS

Actual Science Convention of the Week: NCTM Regional Exposition (16-18, Salt Lake City) National Council of Teachers of Mathematics … Bringing Math to Your Doorstep... ~~Yuk~~ https://www.nctm.org/saltlakecity2019/

Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here 's our fearless Puck sleeping through the case of the Drowsy Drever.

I don't know what I'd do without coffee...probably twenty five to life in the state pen. / Decaf: It makes water brown.

..........Running on streets of delight and Decemberry ice.........Laura Nyro …..December's Boudoir

^^^^^ Previous owners of Circus Circus Las Vegas were Jay Sarno and Stanley Mallin (1968–1974) and Mandalay Resort Group, formerly known as Circus Circus Enterprises but it is currently owned and operated by MGM Resorts, but they largest casino operator on the Las Vegas Strip, is in talks to sell its Circus Circus property there to real estate mogul Phil Ruffin, according to people familiar with the deal.

Month of the Week: October is Halloween Safety Month –As your mother I will inspect your candy for your safety. Then I will eat whatever I consider too dangerous for you.

Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: For all the people saying the Nazi Party were socialist because they had Socialist in their name, this is for you...there are no shepherds in Shepherd Pie. --Meg Award --Submitted by sb of ar

Grammar Joke of the Week: Saying “I'm sorry” is the same as saying “I apologize” except at a funeral. --Demetri Martin

Today's Peace of History, October 18, 1648: Boston shoemakers and coopers formed what are considered the first American trade unions. Within the English tradition of guilds craftsmen would band together to establish prices, quality standards, apprentice programs and charitable programs. The guilds in England also supported members who had retired or were beset by health or other challenges. But these two 1648 quasi-guilds were limited to ensuring quality. The Massachusetts General Court prohibited "The Company of Shoomakers" from offering educational or charitable programs, or from fixing prices or settling disputes.

Today's Peace of Woman's History, October 18, 1929: The Privy Council of Canada found for women on this day declaring that women were persons under the law. October 18 has since been celebrated as Persons Day in Canada, and October as Women's History Month.

Coffee: A warm, delicious alternative to hating everybody every morning forever. / It's not procrastinating if you're drinking coffee. It's procaffinating.

..........I saw the Devil and he's smiling at me.........Laura Nyro …..Poverty Train

Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle October 18, 2019, Edgy ePistle O Snap ePistle Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047

Moonbeam: I’m going to make her cry. I’m going to sing ‘Dixie’ until she cries.” [in an elevator to Carol Moseley-Braun, the first African-American woman elected to the Senate] --Jesse Helms

Cost of War:

As of 10/17/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,967,766,021,060.

As of 10/10/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,965,673,063,749.

As of 10/17/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $926,238,944,918.

As of 10/10/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $924,816,703,460.

As of 10/17/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $714,071,735,057.

As of 10/10/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $712,283,947,637.

As of 10/17/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $317,925,379,727.

As of 10/10/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $317,519,094,645.

As of 10/17/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,926,002,789,276.

As of 10/10/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,920,293,646,924.

https://www.nationalpriorities.org/cost-of/

The only sane policy for the world is that of abolishing war. --Linus Pauling

..........Down by the grapevine, drink my daddy's wine, good morning.........Laura Nyro …..Sweet Blindness

It was so busy at work today, the only way to get a coffee break was to throw your cup on the floor. / Starbucks was robbed, well, actually it was mugged.

Famous Last Words: Party. Let's have a party. --Margaret Sanger

May Peace be your ambition

And Joy your extend your life

prairie mama

christine

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