Friday, April 5, 2019

Olden ePistle


Famous First Words: When I am an old woman I shall wear purple When I Am Old by Jenny Joseph
I was born on April 5th, 75 years ago; here are some jokes from the period: Jack: Okay, guys, I have a surprise for you, you know, we're having Louella Parsons for dinner. Dennis Day: You promised us roast beef. Jack Benny Show 4/2/44
In April of 1944, A Tree Grows In Brooklyn was the best selling novel. Today, it's Where The Crawdads Sing.
One of the good things about being 75 – it's too late to die young.
..........chug, chug, chug went the motor, bump, bump, bump went the brake........July Garland …..The Trolley Song (Meet Me in St Louis was released 11/22/44)
Radical simply means “grasping things at the root”. --Angela Davis b. 1/26/44
It is a foggy Friday morning. The world is a living impressionist painting with muted colors and moving mood. There is little wind and only the spidery green willow branches add motion. Even the birds are stationary as we pass by. Our walk is neither warm nor cold (49°F), I wear a sweater but no hat. Behind the curtain of humidity life is breaking out … bushes have yellow forsythia and fat green leaves, grass is already in need of mowing, and even the tall trees are sprouting seed pods and buds. Puck is very vocal this morning; he explains to birds, unseen other creatures, and a small child with her mother why the morning is beautiful but likely harmful and we should all watch out. (Why does he never sound friendly, even when he is trying to be?) Through the wisps we make it back home, back to smell of spent incense, back to the Don Shirley Trio's Water Boy, back to freshly brewed coffee – sweetened and creamed, but mostly back to you.
Hope your weekend is as frisky as ever, ePistliers.
Biggest Surprise of my Lifetime...so far...: On the evening news in 1964 I met Fannie Lou Hamer. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07PwNVCZCcY ) It was love at first sight. I did not believe at that time that I would live to see a black president and certainly not that the Democrats would do it. Wow.
WWII Jokes: German joke: Hitler and Göring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners’ faces. So Göring says: ‘Why don’t you jump?’ / Finnish joke: German definition of ideal war = German weapons, Russian winter equipment, British summer equipment, American rations, French entertainment tournees, Italians as foes and Finns guarding flanks. / Polish joke: A Polish submarine captain is asked: ‘you see in your periscope a German and a Soviet cruiser. Which one do you attack first?’ ‘Of course the German one’ the Pole answers, ‘duty comes always before pleasure.’1939-1945 Axis History
In April of 1944 a gallon of gasoline averaged 15¢. Today it's $2.57.
One of the good things about being 75 – you know why we say “hang up the phone”.
..........a mule is an animal with long funny ears.........Bing Crosby …..Swinging on a Star (Going My Way was released 5/3/44)
Trivia Questions: Happy Lava Lamp Day
^ More or less when was the lava lamp invented?
^^ Care to guess how big the world's biggest lava lamp is?
^^^ Any idea what's actually inside a lava lamp?
^^^^ By what other names has the lava lamp been known?
^^^^^ What well known British time traveler has a lava lamp of the time machine?
Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
I'm So Old … I remember when we didn't judge candidates by how much money they raised in small amounts of time.
Funniest Thing I Read of a Lifetime: If a dog was born on the same day as me, it would be 353 dog years old today.
Song of the Week: Psychedelic Relic by Roy Zimmerman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpLLv_zjuzg ...If you can't remember where you parked your car...and you're in it.
Fake Library Statistic of the Week: 17% of library dress codes require staff to wear quirky socks. https://www.facebook.com/FakeLibStats/?fref=ts
June 1944

On April 3,1944 the Life Magazine cover was a wire-haired terrier and the caption: Glamor Dogs. It sold for 10¢. Life was the top selling magazine of the day. Today Woman's Day is the best selling magazine.
One of the good things about being 75 – you don't have to do anything you don't want to and you have several ready made excuses – forgot, can't walk the far/fast/at all, can't hear you
..........Cares of the past behind..........Sons of the Pioneers …..Tumblin' Tumbleweeds (Hollywood Canteen was released 12/15/44.)
Moonbeam: We forget that what matters begins with the imagination. --Terry Brooks b.1/8/44
Something to Think About of the Week: Cabbage A mandala represents the universe.

Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I will never be over the hill. I'm too darn tired to climb it. --Submitted by nm of ks
I'm So Old … I used to baby sit God when He was a toddler.
Next Funniest Thing I Read of the Last Four Years: Bernaste – the bern in me recognizes the bern in you
Week of the Week: Laugh at Work Week (1-7) –The can crusher quit his job because it was soda pressing. / During college, I worked on a conveyor belt. One day, I was on a blind date, and she asked me about my job. “I work at the end of a belt,” I said. With an ebullient smile, she asked, “Are you the buckle?”
Probably your forefathers lived here. My four fathers? I didn't have four fathers. Sure, you did. If I did, only one came home nights. Abbott & Costello
In April of 1944 Casablanca won Best Picture. In 2019 Green Book won best picture. Tony Awards did not begin until 1947; There was no Pulitzer for drama that year.
One of the good things about being 75 – you can hang up on anybody and say you don't know how to work your phone.
..........Life was sweet.........Dinah Shore …..Tess' Torch Song (Up in Arms was released 2/17/44)
^ The lava lamp was invented in 1948 by an English accountant named Edward Craven Walker. He was inspired by an egg timer in a pub made of a cocktail shaker filled with alien-looking liquids bubbling on a stove top. It took Craven Walker 15 years to perfect his design.
Almanac: It is Friday, April 5, 2019. The moon is new today and is in Aries. It is Go For Broke Day, Lava Lamp Day, National Deep Dish Pizza Day, Hospital Admitting Clerks Day, and National Walk to Work Day. In South Korea it is Arbor Day; while it is Death of Chiang Kai-shek/Tomb Sweeping Day in Taiwan.
Among those born on this day were Thomas Hobbes (1588), Kan van Kessel (1626), Giacomo Casanova (1725), Sebastien Erard (1752), John Lister (1827), Booker T. Washington (1856), Spencer Tracy (1900), Melvin Douglas (1901), Bette Davis (1908), Cubby Broccoli (1909), Gregory Peck (1916), Robert Bloch (Bloch was the Guest of Honor and the very first science fiction convention I attended in 1974), Lady Fisher (1921), Robert Q. Lewis (1921), Gale Storm (1922), Vince Gill (1957), and Harcourt Fenton "Harry" Mudd (2173).
On April fifth Noah's ark grounded on Mt. Ararat (calculated, 2348 BCE), the Mayflower set sail again (1621), the British Muesum formed (1853), the first US Chamber of Commerce was established (NYC, 1768), Der Fledermaus premiered (1874), Firestone began production of inflatable tires (1923), Johnny Weissmuller set records at the Olympics (1927), San Francisco replaced the Castro & Fillmore streetcars with buses (1941), WGN in Chicago began broadcasting (1948), Julius & Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to death (1951), Elvis Presley recorded his debut single (That's All Right, 1954), A Thousand Clowns premiered (1962), Wilt Chamberlain set the NBA record with 41 rebounds ( 76ers, 1967), Pioneer 11 was launched towards Jupiter (1973), Galileo flew by Ganymede (1997), and Earth first unofficially encountered extra-terrestrials (Vulcans, 2063).
Night Sky, 4/5: Shortly after the end of twilight at this time of year, Arcturus, the bright Spring Star climbing in the east, stands just as high as Sirius, the brighter Winter Star descending in the southwest (for viewers at mid-northern latitudes). These are the two brightest stars in the sky at the time. But Capella is a very close runner-up to Arcturus! Spot it high in the northwest. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/sky-at-a-glance/
Max Picture of the Week: Max – footless in Seattle ...vaguely reminiscence of a Dalek


This Week: Saturday, April 6 – Army Day & Hostess Twinkies Day & New Beers Eve
Sunday, April 7 – National Beer Day & National Handmade Day & No Housework Day
Night Sky, 4/7: Bright Capella shines high in the northwest after dusk. Its pale-yellow color matches that of the Sun, meaning they're both about the same temperature. But otherwise Capella is very different. It consists of two yellow giant stars, larger and brighter than the Sun, orbiting each other every 104 days.
Monday, April 8 – Draw A Bird Day & Buddha Day
Tuesday, April 9 – Free Cone Day (Ben & Jerry's) & Jumbo Day & National Library Day
Wednesday, April 10 – Safety Pin Day & National Bookmobile Day
Thursday, April 11 – Barbershop Quartet Day & National Pet Day & National Pie Day
Harvey by Mary Chase debuted on Broadway in November of 1944: Myrtle Mae, you have a lot to learn, and I hope you never learn it. / I've been spending my life among flyspecks...while miracles have been leaning on lampposts at 4th & Fairfax. / In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.
I couldn't find weather information back to 1944. The 1970s is where the online temperatures begin.
One of the good things about being 75 – either you have gotten smarter or there is less stupid stuff left that you haven't tried already.
..........I lose sleep, I lose sleep.........Gypsy Rose Lee …..Just Another Girl (Belle of the Yukon was released 12/27/44)
^^ The largest lava lamp ever made is four feet tall and holds ten gallons of lava formula.
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm at the age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my sense of humor suggests I'm 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet.
Moonbeam: Books can be dangerous. The best ones should be labeled, “This could change your life.” --Elizabeth Arnold
'Nother Funniest Thing I Read of the College Years: Practice safe text; use commas. And never miss a period.
Late Night Snacks: Good job, Drumpf, for probably not doing a crime so crazy it sounded like an episode of 24 as written by Mad magazine. That is an incredibly low bar, but you cleared it. --Samatha Bee / Donald Drumpf has been living it up since the Barr report of the Mueller report totally cleared him of half the charges. Indeed, the Barr summary was a big political victory for Drumpf, one he has gloated over, and now, he finally has a chance to get on America’s good side. Step one: take away everyone’s healthcare. --Stephen Colbert / Betsy DeVos: Whose problem with America was we're helping the disabled too much? It’s like she’s auditioning to be the plot in Jordan Peele’s next horror movie.” --Jimmy Kimmel / If you got rid of all the conspiracy theorists, propagandists and liars, Fox News would just be a bunch of empty couches and a sexual harassment settlement. --Trevor Noah
Not So Late Night Snacks: It is true. It always stinks when you find the perfect outfit to keep your blood from boiling out in the vacuum of space and they don't have it in your size. The question is - right? - it turns out, like, literally they have, like, only one spacesuit that fits a woman, so the second woman couldn't go. And the question is, why couldn't NASA just make another one? It's a cliche to say, you know, they put a man in the moon and they can't do this. These are literally the people who put a man on the moon. --Peter Sagal Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me 3/30/19
Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well-trained, well-equipped and battle hardened. --Dwight Eisenhower Address to Allied Soldiers 6/6/44
The US Treasury Department issued posters reminding everyone who earned more than $500 during the years that they must file a tax return by March 15th. Gasoline averaged $.21. You could buy a house for less than $10,000 and the Dow Jones was at 130.
In 1944 the St. Louis Cardinals won the world series over the St. Louis Browns. 4 games to 2.
One of the good things about being 75 – peer pressure...almost non existant.
..........I'd like to leave it all behind.........Dick Haymes & June Haver …..Let the Rest of the World Go By (Irish Eyes Are Smiling was released 11/7/44)
^^^ A classic lava lamp contains a standard incandescent or halogen lamp which heats a tall (often tapered) glass bottle. A formula from 1968 US patent consisted of water and a transparent, translucent, or opaque mix of mineral oil, paraffin wax, and carbon tetrachloride.
Worthless Fact of the Week: The 1944 Summer Olympics, which were to be officially known as the Games of the XIII Olympiad, were cancelled due to WWII.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I'm not even a hot mess anymore...I'm just a room temperature mess.
Weird Word of the Week: In 1944 the word kamikaze was added to the US Dictionary. (n.) a Japanese aircraft loaded with explosives and making a deliberate suicidal crash on an enemy target. (adj.) relating to a kamikaze attack or pilot.
Wicked Funniest Thing I Read of the Future: Yesterday I binge watched reruns on the Cooking Channel until I realized it was my microwave.
Wacky Uses for Common Products: In 1944 the following inventions entered the market – Kidney Dialysis / Sunscreen / Clue – the game / the MP44 assault rifle
Bob Hope hosted the White House Correspondents Dinner in 1944: I don't know if the government is taxed or not, but you know the dollar Washington threw across the Potomac. Well, I saw Morgenthau on his hands and knees looking for it. ... The Republicans want to carry the South in the next election. They are going to run Rhett Butler for Vice-President.
In 1945 Pulitizers were given for items written or produced in 1944. A Bell for Adano (John Hersey) won for novel, Harvey (Mary Chase) won for drama, and Appalachian Spring (Aaron Copeland) won for music.
One of the good things about being 75 – you don't, in fact, know better.
...........Just starts me reminiscing...........Kay Kyser …..There Goes That Song Again (Carolina Blues was released 12/20/44)
^^^^ The original name of the lava lamp was ‘Astro Globe’; it then became known as ‘Lava Lite’, and at last ‘Lava Lamp’.
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: My favorite childhood memory is my hip not hurting all the time.
I'm So Old … When I was a kid the Dead Sea wasn't even sick.
Science Fiction Convention of the Week: Heliosphere 2019 (5-7, Tarrytown, NY) organized by the New Amsterdam Science Fiction and Fantasy Fandom, Inc http://www.heliosphereny.org/
Penultimate Funniest Thing I Read of the Afterlife: I don't want to achieve immortality through my work...I want to achieve it through not dying. --Woody Allen
Actual Science Convention of the Week: 12th European Lisp Symposium (1-4, Genova) all aspects of design, implementation and application of any of the Lisp and Lisp-inspired dialects https://european-lisp-symposium.org/
Puck the Brave Episode of the Week: Here's our fearless Puck watching the grass turn green in the case of the Growling Greenland.

Bennett Cerf published his first book, Try And Stop Me, in 1944. Good manners: the noise you don't make when you're eating soup. / The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost. / The atomic age is here to stay. But are we?
In 1944 The Green Bay Packers were the western champions and the New York Giants were the eastern champions in the NFL. The superbowl wasn't instituted until 1967.
One of the good things about being 75 – it is no longer necessary to treat your body as a temple.
..........Like to make you comfy cozy.........Betty Grable …..Cuddle Up a Little Closer (Four Jills in a Jeep was released 3/17/44)
^^^^^ Dr. Who's TARDIS Console Motion Light for sale on eBay: https://www.ebay.ca/csc/i.html?_sacat=0&_nkw=doctor+who+lava+lamp
Month of the Week: April is Frog Month –An illegally park frog is really towed. / At the bullfrog party they served Croak-a-cola.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Week: I never run with scissors. The last two words were unnecessary. --Submitted by sb of ar
I'm So Old … My blood type has been discontinued.
Grammar Joke of the Week: Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labor and started shouting, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”? She was having contractions.
Final Funniest Thing I Read of the Matrix: As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative Mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am. --Erma Bombeck
Today's Peace of History, April 5, 1911: From 100,000 to 500,000 people marched in New York City to attend the funeral of seven unidentified victims of the Triangle Shirtwaist Company fire in late March.
More WWII Jokes: British joke from the Desert War: ‘When clock goes forward it goes tictac but when Rommel goes backwards it’s tactic.’ / Italian joke: It’s late 1940. Hitler calls Mussolini on the phone: ‘Benito aren’t you in Athens yet?’ ‘I can’t hear you Adolf.’ ‘I said aren’t you in Athens yet?’ ‘I can’t hear you. You must be ringing from a long way off, presumably London.’ /Anti-Italian Jokes: What is the Italian battle flag? A white cross on a white background; What is the shortest book ever written? Italian War Heroes; What’s got six reverse gears and one forward gear? An Italian tank. The forward gear is in case they get attacked from behind’; ‘What nation’s soldiers had the most sunburnt armpits of WWII?’.’ Italy’s soldiers’.
In general terms, no automobiles were produced in 1943 or 1944. With that said, the auto industry claims there were 139 cars built in 1943 and 610 built in 1944. It could very well be that they used up the existing stock of vehicles and made more, but they were probably assembled from spare parts left over after the assembly lines shut down.
One of the good things about being 75 – statistics show that the more birthday one has the longer they live.
..........Latch on to the affirmative.........Bing Crosby …..Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive (Here Come the Waves was released 12/18/44)
Masthead of the Week: Friday ePistle April 5, 2019, Olden ePistle. Online at: http://fridayepistle.blogspot.com/ 75 Years of Peace, Love, and Laughs. Exclusive editor: Christine Smith. 2511 Morningside Dr. Lawrence, KS 66047
Moonbeam: Success may not come with rushing speed, but we shall return again and again... --FDR, 6/6/44 D-Day Prayer Speech
Cost of War:
As of 4/4/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,912,318,550,687.
As of 3/28/19 Military Costs of War since 2001: $2,910,395,991,918.
As of 4/4//19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $888,556,360,973.
As of 3/28/19 Homeland Security Costs since 2001: $887,249,769,258.
As of 4/4/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $666,699,503,179.
As of 3/28/19 Interest on War Debt since 2001: $665,056,927,820.
As of 4/4/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $307,158,991,628.
As of 3/28/19 Veterans Care since 2001: $306,785,686,485.
As of 4/4//19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,774,734,242,121.
As of 3/28/19 Total Cost of Wars since 2001: $4,769,489,189,144.
Zealous conviction is a dangerous substitute for an open mind. --Elizabeth Loftus b. 10/16/44
..........to share this dream that needed fulfilling........Deanna Durbin …..More and More (Can't Help Singing was released 12/25/44)
One of the good things about being 75 – everybody calls you sweetie.
In 1944 the PGA Championship was held at Manito in Spokane WA. It was won by Bob Hamilton (his only major title) Second was Byron Nelson (the favorite).
Costello: I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn! Abbott: What? Costello: I said I don't give a darn! Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop. --The famous Who's On First debuted in 1944
Famous Last Words: and reduce the toll of suffering and sorrow and blood. --State of the Union Speech, Franklin D Roosevelt 1944
May your Peace proof with time
And your Joy rise with age
prairie mama
christine


Last Laugh: Schrodinger publish What Is Life in 1944. (Although the actual cat paradox was published in 1935 as an illustration of the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics applied to everyday objects.)

PS ...wonder if i've learned anything at all worth while?

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